Chapter 12 – Miscellaneous Midsummer Misadventures
The thrift store is becoming Naruto's second favorite store. It has everything that he could ever want and all at a cheap, cheap price. All sorts of equipment for 'Narutoball' like rackets, balls, and headwear. All sorts of clothing he could ever wish for like athletic clothing, haori jackets, wind jackets, and capes. All sorts of ninja ware too, but Naruto isn't allowed to get those yet. He has to have a Konoha headband for that. Although, pilfering training grounds usually did the trick on getting authentic stuff.
His wardrobe is certainly the most unique in all of Konoha, let alone the Land of Fire. For instance, today, Naruto was feeling adventurous today. With a strut to his step, he walks down the steps of his second storey apartment. His T-shirt, shorts and sandals are fairly conservative. A plain colored green shirt and some tan cargo shorts. Sandals the typical blue color. It's the other accessories that have people staring at him.
For one, he has a red cape. Like some of the things he bought from the thrift store, Naruto said that he would grow into it. He's not going to be short his entire life. As such, the cape that goes down to just below the waist on an adult, is dragging behind Naruto quite a bit. It is also kicking up a bit of dust as rain hasn't come to Konoha in a few weeks.
If it is only the cape, that would have only garnered a bit of attention. The extra bit comes from the headgear Naruto is wearing. It is a helmet with a clear plastic opening on the front for one to see out of. The clear plastic can be tilted up to open it and allow the user to get some fresh air. Things like this are pretty much non-existent in Konoha. Why would one buy a helmet that they'd never have a use for?
It's what the thrift store owner stumbled upon when he bought a seized wagon from a northern merchant a few years ago. Nobody ever showed any interest in it since it's been collecting dust on his shelf. But that didn't stop Naruto. It did take up a bit of space and, fearful of Naruto not buying it, the owner included it for free.
It is this clothing that Yugao finds Naruto in as she herself is doing a grocery store journey. Like everyone else, she is staring at the kid walking down the side of the street without a care in the world. Nobody dared say anything because although they don't hate him, it's not like they want to start a conversation with him. The populace is content to just stop, stare, and then continue about their business.
"What's up today?"
Naruto heard the voice and looked a bit up at a purple haired lady. Looking back down as if trying to think of a reason for the question, he just quickly shrugs his shoulders and looks back up, replying "Nothing so far."
That makes Yugao pause for a moment. "So far?"
Naruto, now with his hands on his waist in some sort of hero pose replies, "Well, you never know. Something could happen today."
Deciding that is enough of the conversation, Naruto starts walking away in a pseudo march. Swing his arms with every step. But not before adding, "And if anything DOES happen. By golly, I'll be ready for it!"
Naruto continues walking down the street as Yugao stops to wonder for a bit. I need a suit like that. Thinking back on wearing a stuffy helmet. Scratch that, not exactly like that. But, just the attitude.
The second hokage, Tobirama Senju, created many ninja techniques. His battlefield prowess was only behind the likes of other legends such as his brother and first hokage, Hashirama Senju, and Madara Uchiha. Many of Tobirama's innovative techniques were grown from necessity of the Senju and Uchiha rivalry.
The Uchiha are known for fire style jutsu? Tobirama condenses the forty four hand seals for the Water Dragon Jutsu into three.
The Uchiha are battle hardened fighters and the general rule is to not engage one in single combat because of genjutsu? Tobirama invents a jutsu that creates copies of yourself that can also help dispel genjutsu.
The Uchiha have a sharingan that can predict ninjutsu hand seals and offer insight into the next attack? Tobirama invents a teleportation jutsu that does not require any hand seals.
The Uchiha have killed all my friends? Tobirama invents a way for the dead to return amongst the living.
Wait.
Mayyyybe that's a little too far.
But once the cat is out of the bag, it's hard to put it back in. The curiosity of what comes after life for ninja is one that has always been fascinating. How exactly this "Summoning: Impure World Reincarnation" worked was always something that Tobirama refused to explain. It hadn't stopped other villages to try their own way of reaching those that have left the living. None had even come close to what Tobirama had invented.
Some shrewd businessmen thought they could make a little extra by creating devices that could communicate with the dead. Most wouldn't fall for such a cheap gag.
"According to the paper, this ouija board knows all and tells all." Naruto communicates to Kurama after reading the instruction sheet.
In between the duo is a board. It is a basic board with alphanumeric characters as well as simple answers such as "Yes" and "No." On top of the board is a curved triangle planchette with a hole in the center that moves to reveal an answer.
Kurama moves into a seated thinking position, "What should we ask it?"
"Let's ask it which one of us is smarter!"
Kurama nods in response and folds his hands together, "Ok, go ahead."
Naruto gets on his knees and lifts his hands to the sky. He closes his eyes and asks his question. "Oh great ouija board. Who is smarter, Naruto or Kurama?"
Both Naruto and Kurama put their hands on the triangle. Naruto moving it slightly towards the 'N' and Kurama slightly towards the 'K' character.
With both slightly struggling, Kurama growls out "Stop resisting. The board knows all. It's heading for 'K'."
Naruto just doubles his efforts and replies, "Ha! It's obviously heading to the 'N'. You cheater!"
A few more seconds of struggle ensue and Kurama starts to doubt the ability of the board. He lets go of the planchette and picks up the instruction sheet Naruto was looking at earlier.
"How is it that the ouija board knows all the answers to life's mysteries?" Kurama asks.
Naruto snaps his fingers and says, "Let's ask it." Returning to his pose of hands in the air, eyes shut, "Oh great ouija board! How do you know all the answers?"
The duo put their hands on the triangular object.
"It's moving! It's moving!" Kurama exclaims.
Naruto is getting excited as well, "What's it say?"
The planchette, guided by the hands of Kurama and Naruto, moved around the board. After Kurama lifted up his hands, he starts scratching his head in confusion. "Three?"
Naruto just looks in disbelief, "Ya know, I kind of wanted a TV for Christmas." He starts pacing around the room wondering what exactly is going on.
"Well, how about we give it one more try." Kurama says, hopeful that this hasn't been a complete waste of time.
Naruto ponders for a second, thinking of a question. "Okay, I've got it."
Returning to his knees in front of the board. He raises his hands above his head. He looks up, with his eyes closed. "Oh great ouija board! Will I grow up to be Hokage?"
Naruto and Kurama put their hands, one last time, on the triangular planchette.
"It's moving!" Kurama notices once more.
"G...O….." Naruto starts saying the letters aloud.
Kurama continues, "D…...F…...O…..R…...B…...I…..D."
With that, Naruto kicks the board into the air. "When I want an editorial, I'll ask for it!" He picks up the board and throws it out the window into the garbage area. "You stupid board!"
Kurama remains in his pose. At least it wasn't all that bad.
Hic
Hic
Hic
In Naruto's life, he has never been sick. Chicken pox? No. Influenza? No. The common cold? Not so common with him. This however, isn't a sickness. Naruto just really liked his ramen he ate fifteen minutes ago. Really, really, really, liked. He ate it in record time. His diaphragm is not such a fan of inhaling ramen.
As Naruto arrives through the front door of the apartment.
"Hic I have hic have hic I hic I have the hic the hic."
Kurama stops blowing bubbles from the bubble blowing stick Naruto bought at the discount store earlier the week.
Naruto continues, "the hic hic the hic."
Kurama intervenes, "What is it? What do you have? Money? A new comic book? What?"
Naruto tries to use hand gestures, "The hic hic I have hic have the hic the hic hic hic the."
"Is this some sort of new accent?" Kurama tries to solve this conundrum. "Let me try. What thbpt are thbpt you thbpt trying thbpt to thbpt say?" Sticking his tongue out and vibrating it between words.
"Stop hic being fun-hic-ny and hic help me hic get hic rid of hic these hic darn hicCUPs." Naruto manages to speak.
"How?" Kurama truthfully didn't know how. He had never gotten them himself. He has a couple of ideas, but he isn't really sure.
"I hic heard Iruka hic sensei hic hic say that you hic need to hic scare me." Naruto replies.
Kurama thinks for a second "Ok…" Lifting up his hand he starts, "War can happen at any moment," he lifts up a finger, "you could be kidnapped and forced to kill your friend to kill your emotions," he lifts another finger, "aliens can invade from outer space."
"hic I mean, surprise me hic" Naruto explains.
Aghast, "That doesn't? Boy, you're cynical." Kurama shakes his head. Kurama goes to the kitchen and prepares a glass of water. Returning to Naruto, he hands him the glass of water. "Here. Drinking from the far side of a glass is supposed to cure hiccups."
Naruto receives the glass, "The hic far side of hic the glass? Hic How do I hic do that?" Naruto tilts the glass towards his mouth. As usual, gravity works the water to the opposite side of the glass Naruto has his mouth to. His chin is getting a bit wet on this attempt.
Kurama further explains, "You have to bend your head way over."
"Oh, hic I see." Naruto is now hunched over the glass. The glass of water is now tucked near his belly as he bends forwards trying to get the water to come towards him. Slowly, Naruto tilts the glass towards his mouth. The water did go into his mouth. However, Naruto isn't totally familiar with human anatomy. Instead of water going 'up' his throat, it went 'down' to his nose. Well, a little bit of water did. The rest came rushing out of the glass and soaked Naruto's head.
Giving Kurama a stink eye and holding his nose closed, "hic Thanks. Now I've got the hiccups and hic water up my nose."
Kurama sitting on the floor, leaning back, propped up by his arms, "I think most hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends."
Naruto decides to go ask the hokage for assistance. He's never let him down. Exiting the apartment, heading down the stairs, he makes his way to the Hokage's office. Kurama follows after him. See, the thing about scaring people, which he realized when thinking about frightening facts, if they expect it coming, how can you scare them? Naruto was going to expect to be scared, thus making him not scared. Right now though, Kurama is stalking Naruto. Keeping to the shadows.
Meanwhile, it's around halfway into his journey that Naruto pauses. He comes to a complete stop and blankly stares in front of him. He isn't making any sounds. He doesn't have the hiccups anymore. Loudly exclaiming, "My hiccups are gone! They finally went away all by themselves. What a relief!"
At this exact moment, Kurama lunges out of the shadows and pounces on an unsuspecting Naruto. Naruto screams at being tackled and breathes quickly. Kurama, sitting on Naruto, content that he just got the drop on Naruto, "Did I scare you? Did I cure your hiccups?"
hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic hic
