Recovery
Chapter 1
John sweeps up the last of the drywall dust from his floor. It's the first small step to cleaning up a giant mess. Fixing the holes will be easy. He could go through the steps in his sleep. Putting his career and the rest of his life back together will be a lot more complicated.
His eyes go to his laptop. When he had difficult things to work through in school, he would write them down to lay out a strategy. He did the same thing when he hit a snag in a contract. Any attempt at documenting his thoughts fell by the wayside when he left Pennsylvania and his old life. That hasn't worked out too well.
Stowing his broom, John pulls in a deep breath. Maybe it's time to fall back on an old coping method to deal with a new problem. At this point, he can't do much worse.
Journal of John Nolan
When Sergeant Grey told me that I'd be subject to disciplinary action, the first thing I felt was relief. At least I still had a job. But the more I thought about it, the more depressing my future with a reprimand seemed. I'd wanted to be a detective within five years. Now it seems like I'll never be one at all.
I've done some research. A reprimand at this stage of my newly chosen career is bad news, but it's not a death sentence. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. My intentions were great. My judgment sucked. I obviously have a lot to learn. Maybe having to wait an extra month to graduate and start off more slowly is a blessing in disguise. If Harper, with all of her experience, screwed up, then obviously, I'm still at the bottom of the learning curve. At my age, I don't have much time to catch up. But if I'm going to view the future with any optimism, I'll need to believe that abandoning warp speed will give me a chance to see my path forward more clearly.
While it still doesn't seem fair that I'm getting punished for defending myself, Wesley had a point that I received privileged treatment compared to a person of color. I became a cop to make a difference. What could make more of a difference than working to make the L.A.P.D. a force that treats everyone the same, regardless of race? Unfortunately, I don't have a clue how to do that. Maybe Harper, Grey, or even Jackson can give me some guidance. I hope so. Grey hinted that he has a special assignment for Harper and me. That may be part of our disciplinary action, but perhaps I can get something positive done. At least I won't be sitting on my ass.
I have to be at roll call in the morning, which means I should get some sleep now. I don't know how I'm going to do that. My thoughts won't settle down. Sex might banish them entirely for a little while. Unfortunately, my judgment in relationships since I joined the L.A.P.D. hasn't been any better than the choices I made on the job. Maybe it was worse.
I'll take a hot shower, get in bed and hope I'm exhausted enough to doze off.
John forces himself not to rub his eyes while sitting right in front of Grey. Lucy and Jackson are beside him, but in less than a month, they won't be. Unless he can seriously change his colleagues' perception, he'll forever be the rookie who lagged behind.
Grey skewers John with his gaze. "Officer Nolan, are you with me?"
John straightens up. "Yes, Sir."
"Good, because I'm explaining what you and Harper will be doing today and for an indefinite period of time. As I was saying, the L.A.P.D. has established a neighborhood center to promote outreach to the community. You will be listening to the concerns of the local residents and reassuring them that we'll address them as quickly and completely as we can."
Harper shakes her head. "With all due respect, Sir, how are we supposed to do that? Last night I had to turn off the T.V. to keep Lila from watching federal storm troopers beating on peaceful demonstrators. The people out there have more than concern. They have anger and fear. And the most reassuring smile on Nolan's face isn't going to turn that around."
"That's why the two of you will have to work together, Harper. And the L.A.P.D. is well aware that we're going to be in this for the long haul. But we have to start somewhere. For now, you and Officer Nolan are elected.
"Is this part of our punishment?" John wonders as Harper drives their unit toward the community center.
Nyla shrugs. "Maybe. I sure as hell don't have a golden ticket anymore. But I think it has more to do with you being such a bleeding heart. You're always saying that you joined the N.Y.P.D. to help people, Nolan. Grey's telling you to put your money where your mouth is."
"What about you?" John asks.
Nyla's lips twitch upward. "Trying to keep you from falling on your face is part of my punishment."
"This area is a wreck," Nolan notes. "What equipment was left in the playground we just passed isn't safe for the kids to use. Why isn't the city maintaining it?"
"I can tell you what the official excuse is," Harper responds.
"What?"
"That the neighborhood has so much vandalism that it doesn't pay to fix anything. It will be destroyed the next day."
"Is that true?" Nolan queries. "I don't see much tagging going on."
"You don't see much of anything going on," Nyla points out. "A lot of the people living here don't have jobs or much hope of finding any. They're afraid if they do try to clean things up, they'll be attacked and robbed by someone trying to buy some meth."
"Is there that much meth? Most of what I've seen before is heroin and fentanyl."
"The Derians brought that in, and the other gangs doing business with the cartels will still be doing it. The meth is homegrown. The components are readily available, and the chemistry to cook it isn't complicated. The people who can get jobs can work 14 or 16 hours a day and still live at the poverty level. Or they can make meth. For some, it isn't that hard a choice." Nyla points to a corner in front of a disintegrating Middle School. "Look over there, Nolan. That bastard is selling to the kids."
"Do we bust him?" John asks. "We're supposed to be on special duty."
"We're the only cops witnessing an active crime. We don't have a choice. I'm going to pull around behind the building. He's probably armed. He could use one of the kids as a shield. We'll approach on foot and try to stay out of sight until we get close enough to grab him without any of the kids getting hurt. The plan is to tase him from a distance and take him down before he knows we're there."
"And if we miss?" Nolan asks.
"We don't miss. But we do whatever it takes to protect those kids."
"I'm with you on that," Nolan declares. "You want me to call it in?"
"If we don't want another reprimand in our jackets, you'd better."
A/N I wrote this before I saw episode 2. I saw some of the promos. But otherwise, I put this together, not knowing what would happen, other than meth would play quite a role. I didn't even know about the playground. I guess the writers and I were on a similar wavelength. However, this is a little A.U. I'm not psychic, but I'm trying to stay as close to canon as possible, at least for now.
