Getting Each Other
"Hey." Jude nodded, standing on Thea's doorstep.
"Hi." Thea looked at her. She'd been thinking about her approach to all of this all morning, anticipating Jude would stop by to discuss last night's uncomfortable conversation. She had told herself she would let her sister speak first, invite her into the house, allow her to apologise, but a huge part of her wanted to scream at her just how much her words had affected her.
"Can I come in?" Jude asked after they stood in silence for a few seconds.
"Yeah." Thea nodded, stepping aside and letting her sister into the house.
"The kids home?" Jude asked. It was Christmas break but she couldn't hear her nieces or nephew the way she normally did when she arrived at her oldest sisters house.
"James is here." Thea nodded, "He's upstairs playing on the… game console thing." She shook her head, "Dominic took the girls to their gymnastics class." She explained, closing the door over.
"Gymnastics." Jude laughed a little, "Remember when we had to do that?" She smiled a little as Thea walked past her and headed through to the kitchen. She figured the silent treatment was fair. In fact, it was a more mature version of Thea which she wasn't used to. Part of her wanted her sister to yell and tell her off for hurting her. She felt it was exactly what she deserved for being so cold.
She made her way into the kitchen, noticing Cassie was there, sitting at the table with a coffee. Living in New York, she knew it made them both closer and it wasn't something she was mad about, if anything she was happy, but right now she couldn't help feel alienated. The odd one out.
"Hey." Jude nodded to Cassie who just nodded back, not saying anything, focusing back on her coffee, "You always come here for coffee?" She asked.
"When I have the time." Cassie nodded, "Did you enjoy your hangover this morning?" She asked.
"I ran it off." Jude nodded, looking over at Thea who was busying herself with clearing up after breakfast, "I've obviously came here to apologise." She said.
"Obviously." Thea nodded, still keeping her back faced to them.
"I'm not going to give you any excuses or use my own problems to justify how I acted last night. To justify what I said. To both of you." She made clear, "Selfishly I didn't want to feel like the only broken one in the room so I-"
"So you wanted to take me down with you?" Thea turned around, "Trust me, Jude. You didn't have to bring me down. I spend eighty percent of my life functioning at that level." She nodded as Jude looked over at her, "I wake up on that level most days." She assured her, "But normally it's my sisters who make me feel better. Not worse." She nodded.
"I'm sorry." Jude said, "I don't even know why I was talking about him or… your relationship with him." She shook her head as Thea folded her arms, "Things are just a bit of a mess right now for me… and I know, I'm not saying that's the excuse, but I guess I just felt alone and hurt… when I feel like that it reminds me of how I felt back then and it was just all coming to the surface. Especially being back here." She nodded, "I really am sorry." She looked at Thea with tears in her eyes, "And I'm sorry for what I said to you too." She turned to Cassie, "Saying you're never there for anyone… anytime I've ever needed you, you've been there." Jude nodded as Cassie looked up at her, "You're just probably smarter than the rest of us." She rolled her eyes a little as Cassie turned back to her coffee, smiling a little.
"I've always been opened to talking to you about him. About all of that. Everyone is." Thea said, "But not like that. Not how you spoke about it. I already feel guilty for keeping him in our lives for as long as I did… and so does mom, so don't you put that on her either." She added.
"I haven't. I don't blame anyone." Jude shook her head as Thea nodded, "Of course I don't blame anyone."
"I don't actually remember him." Cassie spoke up as they both turned to her, "That might not be relevant but… I just know him as the guy who attacked you." She looked at Jude.
"You were a kid." Thea dismissed her.
"I'm just really sorry for saying what I said. You both mean the most to me and I hate myself for saying what I said. Taking out all my own problems on you both. It wasn't fair." She shook her head, "I'm going back to New York tonight with the girls. Sean said it's best if I get back there to speak with the police about the break in." She nodded, "I don't blame you both if you don't want to forgive me yet-"
"I'm not going to let you get on a plane without making things right." Thea shook her head, "I hate that you're having such a rough time, and you know we're both here for you, for whatever you need, but please… do not ever ask me how I managed to fall in love with someone who became a rapist, ever again." Thea looked at her sister fiercely as Cassie sat in silence at the table between them.
"I won't." Jude nodded, brushing the tears away from her cheeks as Thea looked at her. She couldn't be mad at Jude for long, it was how it had always been. Because she'd always been the baby sister she needed to look out for and protect.
"You never could apologise without crying." Thea scoffed, smiling a little as Jude watched, laughing a little as she wiped her eyes.
"I can't argue with Theo without crying." Cassie added as they laughed, "It's actually a good thing, cause he doesn't stay mad at me for long, feels bad that I'm crying." She nodded, feeling the awkwardness that was in the room when Jude first arrived start to disperse and disappear.
"It's annoying." Jude nodded, laughing as she dried her tears away, watching as Thea walked over to her, wrapping her arms around her.
"It's gonna pass. All this shit you're going through." Thea assured her, hugging her tightly as Jude nodded, resting her chin on her shoulder.
"I hope so." She whispered, pulling back from the hug, getting the same embrace from Cassie.
"You'll be happy again." Cassie told her, "Whether it's with him or not." She hugged her tightly as Jude nodded.
"I just want to get over there now and figure out what the hell happened at the house." She nodded, pulling back from the hug.
"You'd be surprised just how many people try breaking into houses these days." Cassie said, "Especially during the holidays. Looking for presents lying around." She told her sister, trying to reassure her that things would no doubt be fine.
"Yeah, Sean said that. He didn't sound too concerned on the phone so I think it'll be fine." Jude nodded, "But… he never normally gives anything away on the phone, though." She thought about it.
"Are the girls going with you?" Thea asked.
"Well I think so but they're having so much fun with mom and dad, I feel bad taking them away." Jude said, "Maybe I should ask the girls what they want to do. If it's ok with mom and dad, maybe they could stay for a couple days. I'll come back for them." She said, "Might be best to keep them away from the house just now anyway."
"Mom and dad will love that. They miss them." Thea said.
"I'll ask them." Jude nodded.
"Well since you're both here at the same time." Cassie said, sitting her coffee mug over by the sink, "I have some news." She told them as they looked at her.
Both Thea and Jude immediately assumed she was pregnant. Given they knew how long her sister had been trying to have another baby. And even more so Jude who also knew about the miscarriage. However, they were gracious enough not to guess before she told them, in case it wasn't that.
"What is it?" Thea asked her.
"Ok. Well… Theo and I are going to adopt a baby." She told them as they both raised their eyebrows with surprise, "Now it's a long process. One I'm actually still trying to figure out. It could take a little time. We have to get picked and we have to be assessed… there's a lot that goes into it." Cassie nodded, "But we've made the decision." She nodded, watching her sister's both smile.
"Oh my God." Thea smiled, placing her hand over her mouth, turning to Jude who was equally as surprised and overjoyed.
"Really?" Jude smiled as Cassie nodded.
"Yeah." Cassie said.
"That's amazing, Cassie." Thea nodded, hugging her sister tightly, "God, that baby is going to be so lucky." She said as Cassie smiled, getting another hug from Jude who squeezed her tightly.
"I'm so happy for you." Jude whispered as Cassie nodded, pulling back from the hug as Jude cupped her cheeks, "So happy." She smiled.
"Thank you." Cassie said, "I feel really good about it. We both do." She nodded.
"Well I can't wait to meet him or her." Thea smiled.
"Me too." Jude added.
"Me three." Cassie laughed a little, truly content with the decision they had made, fully committed and ready to have another baby. It almost felt just as good as telling people she was pregnant. It still gave her the same excitement and joy. She knew that was a good sign.
"So have you been in contact with an agency?" Jude asked.
"Yeah we looked into one last night that we're gonna contact. Take it from there, I guess." Cassie said as they nodded, "We've still not told mom and dad yet. Maybe after my shift today." She said.
"They'll be so happy." Thea said as Cassie nodded.
"Hope so." She said, "I should probably get going." She looked at the clock.
"Yeah go make that detective money." Thea told her as Cassie chuckled, saying goodbye to her sisters before leaving the house, leaving Thea and Jude in the kitchen.
"I'm so happy for them." Jude shook her head as Thea nodded.
"It's amazing." Thea smiled, "And brave." She nodded.
"Well that's Cassie." Jude smiled as Thea nodded, "I… I really am sorry for what I said to you-"
"Hey, we're over it now." Thea told her, "Let's just forget it and move on. Hearing good stuff like that just makes everything else seem so unimportant." She admitted as Jude nodded.
"Yeah." Jude agreed, "But you've always been there for me. My whole life. Even when you didn't have to be." She said.
"I'm your big sister. It's my job to be there for you." Thea nodded.
"And I don't take that for granted. I promise." Jude said.
"We get each other more than a lot of people." Thea confirmed what they already knew as Jude nodded.
"Always have." Jude smiled as Thea looked across at her.
"You want something to eat before you leave? I'll see if I can convince James to come sit with us." She said as Jude nodded, taking her jacket off and sitting down at the table.
"Thea."
Thea sat at the back of the class with her hood up and earphones in, head resting on her hand, blocking out the entire class.
"Thea Mendez." The teacher said louder as the class turned around to her, "Will someone tap her." The teacher shook her head as a boy sat beside Thea reached over, pulling her earphones out.
"Hey." Thea turned to him angrily.
"Thea." The teacher said, unimpressed, hand on her hip as Thea looked over.
"What?" Thea shook her head.
"Your little sister is outside." The teacher told her, "Something about needing money for lunch." She said as some people in the class chuckled quietly.
Thea rolled her eyes, getting up from her desk, making her way out of the class where she saw eight year old Jude standing outside, holding onto her backpack straps.
"Mom made us both lunch. You don't need money." Fourteen year old Thea shook her head, about to make her way back into class.
"No, wait." Jude took a hold of her sister's arm.
"What? Why aren't you in your class?" Thea shook her head.
"I didn't want to go." Jude told her, "Don't tell mom." She said immediately with panic.
"I won't." Thea scoffed, "Why didn't you want to go? You like school." She shook her head with confusion, noticing her sister's hair was sticky with some sort of creamy texture through it at the side, "What's in your hair?" She shook her head.
"Umm… I got yogurt on me." Jude said.
"You got yogurt on you?" Thea shook her head.
"People in my class keep telling me that dad isn't coming home." Jude said as Thea looked down at her. Her little sister hadn't been informed about the full extent of their father's departure. She was too young at the time, but with almost two years gone by, it was difficult to keep her sweet about it.
"Why do they talk about dad anyway?" Thea shook her head.
"I told my friends I go visit him in the big room." Jude said innocently as Thea sighed.
"Let's go outside." Thea told her, walking ahead down the hallway as Jude followed her, making their way outside the school, walking around the side of the building, taking a seat on some steps by the trash cans.
"It smells round here." Jude huffed.
"You got water in your bag?" Thea asked motherly, taking a look in Jude's bag, taking out her half drank bottle of water, "Come here." She said as Jude shuffled closer beside her on the step, "Did you get yogurt on you or did someone do this to you?" Thea asked, pouring some water over her sister's hair to get the sticky yogurt out.
"Because they keep telling me dad isn't coming home and I said he is and then a boy threw his yogurt at me." Jude told her sister, "It was a strawberry yogurt I think." She cared to add as Thea nodded.
"Yeah, smells like it." Thea agreed, sitting the bottle of water down, not sure how she was going to approach this.
"So I didn't want to go back in after recess." Jude explained, "I was going to say I had a… a tummy ache, but I don't want mom to pick me up." She said, "Because when I ask her about dad she doesn't say anything to me." She shrugged with confusion. She was beginning to get confused about a lot, and only felt comfortable with her sister to ask questions.
"Because she doesn't want to upset you." Thea nodded, "Jude, dad isn't coming home anytime soon." She turned to her little sister, "He has to… he has to stay away from us for a long time. He won't be outside of that room we see him in… in a long time. You'll be a big girl like me when he can come home. Maybe even older." She explained, in the nicest way possible.
"But why?" Jude asked. She had feared that the people teasing her in her class were right. She was starting to fear a lot.
"It's just how it is." Thea nodded, "Ignore those kids in your class… but don't tell them that he's coming home soon. Because he's not." She said as Jude leaned her elbows on her knees, resting her chin in her hands, "I know it sucks."
"But he hasn't met Cassie yet." Jude sighed innocently.
"I know he hasn't." Thea nodded, "Look, if these kids are really bothering you at school, you should tell mom. She could speak with your teacher." She told her sister comfortingly, "Or you could beat them-"
"Dad told me to do that." Jude nodded, "But I don't want to hurt anyone."
"Yeah, I know." Thea smiled a little, "Probably best just to tell mom." She said.
"I thought dad could take us to Portillo's soon, for a hot-dog." Jude said sincerely as Thea looked at her. She hated to crush her little sister's hope and spirit, but it wasn't fair to lie to her anymore and let her be fooled by classmates teasing her.
"I'll take you." Thea nodded to her.
"Today?" Jude nodded.
"Yeah. I'll get some money from Sam." Thea said as Jude smiled, "You should probably tell mom about your panic thing during the night." She said as Jude's smile faded.
"No, I'm only telling you." Jude folded her arms, "A hot-dog from Portillo's will make it go away." She said childishly.
"I don't think so." Thea narrowed her eyes at Jude. Guaranteed at least twice a week she was woken up in the middle of the night by Jude having a panic attack. Although neither of them knew that was what it was. But when she saw her sister having this strange attack during the night, she couldn't help notice that it looked exactly how she felt on the inside. It was then she realised they were both feeling the exact same way. Confused, a little lost, alone and most of all, missing their father.
"What's wrong with your eyes?" Jude leaned into her sister's face closely as she noticed her sisters eyes were red and bloodshot, "They're funny." She grabbed her face as Theo shoved her away.
"Nothing is wrong with them." Thea looked away from her, rubbing her eyes. Whilst her little sister was spending her recess getting yogurt thrown in her hair, she spent hers getting high, a new magical hobby she had discovered that didn't make everything feel as shitty as it was.
"Do you have to go back to your class? Can you stay out here with me?" Jude asked, hugging her knees to her chest as Thea looked at her.
"Yeah, I'll stay here with you." Thea promised as Jude smiled with relief, "And then we'll go get a hot-dog." She nudged Jude who grinned.
