A/n: this story's gonna be a little longer than expected 5 or 6 chapters now. This chapter also gets a little dark and could be slightly disturbing at times so please read at your own risk.
"Well Ms. Benson your EKG looks normal for now which is a really good thing but it is understandable why your chest's still hurting you had a heart attack earlier today. Do you have any heart conditions that you know of?"
"No," she said while squeezing Elliot's hand as she then noticed his black left eye and bruised cheek "what happened to your face El?"
"I'm fine baby don't worry about me," he whispered tenderly as he stroked her knuckles with his thumb "please stay focused Ms. Benson," the doctor said.
"I'm sorry I'm just... I'm just worried about Elliot he's had a really long day too."
The doctor just nodded sharply "what are your eating habits like?"
She sighed "mostly healthy I eat organic when I can and fruits and vegetables too I try to be a good example for my son."
He nodded "have you been under any undo stress in the last while?"
"I wouldn't say undo no but my job is really stressful it always has been."
He nodded "I strongly feel that you should consider decreasing your stress load. After a person has one heart attack the risk of reoccurrence is much higher. Since you had to be sedated twice while you were here I'm gonna be referring your file over to psych services."
Olivia frowned "I don't need psych services I'm not crazy."
"I'm not saying you are Ms. Benson."
"It's captain doctor," she said getting sick of his attitude.
He just nodded and Elliot looked up then "she's right she doesn't need psych services s-she thought I had died that's why she was so upset."
"Alright I see. Listen I'll pass what you've told me to psych and if they wanna see you they'll come and if they don't they won't. We'll also be keeping you overnight so we can continue to monitor your heart captain."
She shuddered "so you're gonna keep these heart monitors on me all night?"
"Well yes of course your heart needs to be closely monitored for in case anything changes."
She nodded "will I be able to move from the bed?"
"I wouldn't recommend it no."
She shuddered again and Elliot gently stroked her hair "c-can I at least cover my chest back up?"
The doctor took a moment to respond and he appeared to be staring at something as Elliot frowned at him then followed his line of sight seeing a key shaped scar on her left breast as he discreetly wiped his eyes with the back of one of his hands then raised his gaze back to her face "I suppose you can," the doctor said.
Olivia nodded and quickly covered back up with the gown and sheet feeling extremely uncomfortable "what's your name doctor?" Elliot asked flatly.
"Dr. Lyles," he said.
Elliot nodded "I'd like to speak to you outside alone for just a moment."
Olivia gripped his fingers tightly "I'll just be 30 seconds baby, just 30 seconds."
Olivia said nothing, just continued to grip his fingers as he continually kissed her temple and murmured soothing words into her ear until she slowly released him as he then quickly stepped out "what did you need?" Dr. Lyles asked.
"I needed to tell you you shouldn't ever gawk at your patients."
"I wasn't gawking at her."
"Yes you were you stared at that scar for over 20 seconds I watched you."
He sighed "I'm sorry man it just... It just fascinated me," he said as he tried to hide a twisted smile.
"You're a creep you know that? I want you off Olivia's case."
"You don't have the authority to demand that only Ms. Benson and Mr. Tutuola do."
"You mean captain Benson? Show her some damn respect!"
Lyles just rolled his eyes "I have other patients to see," he said as he marched off and Elliot went straight back into Liv's room.
"El what's wrong? You look angry," Olivia asked when she saw him walking back in.
"You need a new doctor baby," he said as he sat back down in the chair and threaded his fingers back through hers.
"Why? I mean I know he's a jerk but"-
"I caught him staring at your scar honey," he whispered.
Her face paled "y-y-you saw them?"
"I just saw one of them baby you asked me not to look and I respected that but I saw him staring at you with this strange creepy enamored look on his face and I"-
"You needed to see if he was a threat to me or not... I-I understand El I-it's okay."
He nodded slightly "I'm sorry I saw it before you were ready Liv... I really really am but I need you to know it changes absolutely nothing for me."
"T-There are more than one though El. W-Way more than one."
He nodded and kissed her temple several times "still changes nothing I still think you're the most beautiful woman in the world."
"H-How can you say that when you haven't seen my whole body yet?"
"Because you're beautiful inside here," he whispered as he gently touched her heart "besides between your face, your smile and your perfect curves? I'm already a goner baby."
Olivia gave him a weak smile "you sure sound sure of yourself."
"I'm 100% positive honey scars don't define people and they don't define you."
She gave him another small nervous smile as he gave her a reassuring kiss which she returned in kind then stroked her hair again gently "baby how did you get them?" he asked softly.
She shook her head "p-please don't make me talk about it tonight..."
Elliot frowned deeply as the horrible taste of bile rose in his throat and he swallowed it down "I'd never make you do anything baby."
She nodded her head slightly "I-I just can't do it tonight not when I won't be able to move off this bed at all I-I need to be somewhere in the open when I tell you about it."
Elliot nodded as he continued to stroke her hair "did someone hurt you while you were on a bed?"
"Y-Yes," she whispered.
He nodded and swallowed down more bile "so that's why you asked if you could move off the bed from time to time?"
She nodded slightly "E-El d-do you know who has Noah? I-I need to hear his voice. I-I need my brain to go back to the present."
"I don't baby but we can find out," he said as he turned his phone back on "do you want me to get up there with you?"
"I-I can't ask that of you," she whispered.
"You're not asking I'm offering besides it'd be a lot more comfortable for me than this hard chair is anyway I can hold you and stretch out."
She nodded slightly and he slowly and carefully climbed up there then pulled her into his arms and she ended up running her fingers through his beard lightly to soothe herself "I need to shave don't I?" he said softly.
She shook her head slightly "I like it."
He nodded with a soft smile "I'm glad," he whispered as he gently kissed her palm "Liv I want you to know something baby. I want you to know although I've done a terrible job of showing it I really do love you. I love you so so much."
"I-I love you too El," she whispered as she let her hand glide up his face a little more then stopped abruptly "it's alright honey you can keep on it wasn't bothering me."
"It always bothered the other guys I was with they'd either ask me to stop, roll over or shake my hand off. T-Thankfully I hardly ever get like this anymore though t-this has just been a terrible day."
"I know it has baby, trust me I know and those guys you just told me about were jerks to deny you that comfort."
She nodded and slightly smiled "that's always what I thought too I just convinced myself the best I could that it wasn't true," she said as his phone began to ring and he immediately declined the OCCB's call.
He just rubbed her back and kissed her temple "baby I don't have the right to ask you who the guys were or what happened to you and I'm not gonna ever push you for any answers but I do want you to know that I do care, I do wanna know when and if you're ready and I'll listen anytime okay?"
She nodded slightly "I've always known you cared on some level El I never doubted that... And I am gonna tell you everything just not tonight."
He nodded, hugged her gently and they let that conversation drop as she shifted slightly in his arms to face him more while he texted Fin asking where Noah was "your cheek and eye..." she ended up whispering a few minutes later noticing them again as she gazed at them sadly.
"It's fine baby they could have been hurt a lot worse."
"Who did that? Was it the brotherhood too?"
"No," he said simply.
She nodded, her captain antennas perking up "then who was it?"
"Doesn't matter," he whispered kissing her temple.
"Yes it does El whoever it was committed assault."
"I hit my head on the door," he said.
Olivia chuckled "do you think I was born yesterday?"
"No," he whispered.
She nodded "then who was it?" she asked as just then his phone pinged "it's Fin," he said as he read the message "Noah is with Amanda and Carisi."
She nodded and lucky for him that news distracted her from her pursuit for the time being "can I call them and talk to him on your phone? I'd use mine but I don't know where it is."
"Of course baby it's probably still at the precinct," he said as he handed it to her and she took it gratefully "thank you El," she said as she dialed the number.
"No thanks necessary," he said with a smile as he began to hear it ring.
"Hello," Carisi answered on the fourth ring.
"Hey Carisi it's Olivia Benson, I was hoping I could speak to Noah please?"
"Yeah yeah of course Liv. I'm surprised this is you though I don't recognize this number."
"El let me use his phone to call," she said with a slight smile.
"Ohh okay, how are you doing though? I mean are you okay?"
"I'm hanging in there. They're keeping me overnight though so"-
"I'm sorry Liv I know you hate hospitals. Do you want me to send Rollins over there?"
"No no you don't have to El's here and I think he's staying the night... Am I right El?"
"You are," he whispered as he kissed her temple and she smiled "yeah he's staying the night."
"Okay well that's good. I'll get Noah for you I hope you feel better soon."
"Thank you Carisi, thank you for everything thank you for keeping him for me."
"No problem Liv," he said as there was silence for a minute then they heard a shaky voice m-mom?" Noah whispered.
"Hi sweet boy...," she said softly with a smile.
"U-Uncle sonny said you're sick I-is that true? A-Are you gonna get better?"
"It is baby and yes I'm gonna get better really soon I have the best people looking out for me."
Noah sighed in relief "good... I-I really miss you can I see you tonight?"
"I miss you too baby so much... You can't see me in person tonight no but you can first thing tomorrow and we can switch to FaceTime if you want."
"Okay," he said eagerly and Liv adjusted the camera to where he could only see her face nothing else then started the video call "is this better?" she asked once he accepted.
"Mmhmm, you look like you've been sad..."
She nodded "I have been a little baby being sick is hard but I feel better now that I've talked to you," she said with a smile.
He smiled some and nodded as Liv smiled "so what did you do after school today buddy?"
"Me, uncle Sonny, Jessie and Billie played trains for a while then he made his homemade ravioli. What did you have for dinner mommy?"
She blushed "you know I actually haven't had anything yet..."
Noah frowned at her disapprovingly "you have to eat mommy you said food makes our bones grow strong."
"That's right it does..." she said as Elliot leaned towards her ear "I'll go get you something," he whispered lowly to where only she could hear him.
She shook her head slightly several times not wanting him to leave as Noah chuckled "whatcha doing mommy?"
"Ohh nothing just had a little hair in my eye," she said.
Noah nodded "will you help me with this grammar question? I can't figure out the right answer."
"Of course show it to me?"
He nodded and pulled the paper out of his backpack then pointed the correct line at the screen (I have to walk Zimba to the park on Tuesday); (I haves to walk Zimba to the park on Tuesday) she read silently as she nodded "lets try something Noah."
"Okay," he said with an eager smile.
She smiled "read the lines to me out loud then tell me which one makes sense."
He nodded "I have to walk Zimba to the park on Tuesday.
I haves to walk Zimba to the park on Tuesday."
She smiled "so which one are you thinking?" she asked as she heard the line beep signifying that Elliot had an incoming call coming in and she glanced at him.
"Don't worry about it honey," he whispered a little louder than he meant to "the first one, who was that?" Noah asked.
"That's right Noah," she said with a smile "and it was Elliot."
"That's the man I met on mother's day right?"
"Yes it is. I think he's gonna be around more once I'm home are you okay with that?"
"I mean as long as he's nice sure."
"He's the nicest. Listen honey I need to go okay? But I want you to have loads more fun with uncle Sonny, aunt Amanda and the girls and I'll see you tomorrow."
"You promise you will?"
"I promise baby," she whispered.
He nodded slightly "I love you mommy."
"I love you too sweet boy," she said as they blew each other kisses then ended the call "thank you El," she said as she handed him his phone back.
He shook his head "no thanks necessary Liv," he said as he then kissed her temple "are you sure you're not hungry?"
She nodded her head but her stomach growled "our favorite soup shop is just across the street I can go grab us something really quick it'll only take five minutes."
She shook her head slightly "I'm sure they'll bring me something from the cafeteria soon and I'll tell them to bring you something too."
"I thought you hated hospital food?"
She sighed "I-I do but I don't want you gone if that doctor comes back in."
He nodded and pulled her closer "I really do think you should have him removed from your care baby."
She sighed "if he's fixated on me somehow the last thing I wanna do is anger him if someone I trust is here then he can't do anything."
"I've probably already pissed him off Liv I gave him an earful."
She nodded "maybe you scared him into backing off then," she said as just then the curtain whipped open "Liv! Liv are you alright? Carisi called, told me you had a heart attack and I had to get here. I had to know that"- Barba rambled quickly.
"Barba slow down slow down... I'm okay I'm alright take a breath..."
He nodded, rocked back and forth on his heals and steadied his breathing "what the hell happened to you? You look like you lost a couple fights," he said looking at Elliot.
"Workplace hazards," he said simply and Olivia shook her head "well one incident was and the other I haven't gotten the full story yet all I know is someone assaulted him and he won't tell me who."
"He probably deserved it," he muttered to himself and Olivia frowned "excuse me?" she asked flatly.
"You heard me," he said.
Olivia glared and Elliot began to feel uncomfortable "you know I think now is a good time for me to sneak out and get us that soup. Would you like some Barba?" he asked.
"No thank you," he said.
"Okay then," he said as he moved off the bed and helped Olivia get comfortable "I'll be right back Liv," he said as he turned his phone off then laid it beside her on the bed as he was using it as a quiet reassurance.
Olivia nodded then glanced at the phone "take it with you El as far as we know Donnelly's still out there and you need a way to call for help i-if"-
He nodded and put it in his pocket "I'll be fine Liv don't worry about me I'm just going right across the street."
She nodded slightly and he quickly slipped out "whose Donnelly?" Barba asked.
"A target in an undercover operation I can't disclose any other information until after his arrest."
He nodded "why so formal Liv?"
She slightly smiled "I'm this way with all my colleagues."
"So we're just colleagues now?"
She nodded curtly "anyone who thinks that Elliot deserves to be assaulted is no friend of mine."
Barba sighed heavily "what's happened to you Liv?" he asked disappointedly.
"Nothing's happened to me what's happened to you? What happened to the kind honorable man I used to know?"
"He's still here but you shunned him away for wanting to protect you."
"I told you I didn't need your protection," she said as the curtain then opened and Lyles walked in "hi Ms. Benson I'm here to do a repeat EKG and to check that all of your cardiac leads are still secure."
She sighed "isn't it the nurses job to keep an eye on my leads?"
"Normally yes it is but i figured since I had to do the EKG anyway I'd save her the trouble. Raise your gown please."
She sighed getting that creeped out feeling again as she slowly raised it up and he began the EKG "where's your boyfriend?" he asked.
"Not far just getting our dinner but what makes you think he's my boyfriend?"
"Ohh it's common sense honey. Your EKG looks normal but your heart-rate is slightly elevated."
"Don't honey me I'm not your honey."
"So you're someone else's honey?"
"That's none of your business," she said as Barba just stared at them shocked.
Lyles just nodded as he probed at all her leads testing that they wouldn't move as from time to time he accidentally not so accidentally touched some of her scars "you know what I think I do want you off my case," she said shakily.
Lyles said nothing as he wore the same disturbing expression that Elliot had described earlier "they're just so cool... and I don't understand how they got there..." he whispered as he traced the one which Lewis made with Elliot's semper fi metal with his finger tip.
Tears began to stream down her cheeks "take your hand off her," Barba finally said but Lyles didn't listen "you shouldn't be crying these make you one of a kind and special."
Olivia attempted to roll away but his hand just followed her movements as the curtain then opened "one cream of mushroom and one egg drop soup served!" Elliot said cheerfully.
"Take your hands off her or you'll be charged with sexual assault!" Elliot heard Barba say as he then whipped his head around seeing that her vitals were off the charts and that Lyles had that same look he had seen earlier where the hell is the rest of the staff? he wondered as his body moved on autopilot and he forcibly dragged him away from the bed.
"Hey hey man easy easy I was just checking her cardiac leads!" Lyles said.
"N-No h-he wouldn't leave my scars alone k-kept rubbing them and touching them p-please arrest him El."
"She's emotionally disturbed! She's lying!"
Elliot ignored Lyles, grabbed his handcuffs then turned to face Liv as his heart broke when he saw her scoot away further "what degree baby, first, second or third?" he asked softly.
"You're not supposed to ask her that," Barba said but Elliot just ignored him too "t-third. I-It was third El."
He nodded, handcuffed him tightly then read him his miranda rights "this case will be dismissed within two seconds," Lyles said.
"No it won't be. Where the hell is the rest of the floor staff?"
"On break," he said with a smirk as just then Fin and Velasco walked in "you're coming with me," Velasco told Lyles dragging him away.
"H-How did you guys know to show up here?" Olivia asked Fin in a whisper.
"I texted him. I might not have been strong enough to stop him but I damn sure could text for help," Barba said.
She just nodded slightly "t-thank you, I-I thank both of you," she whispered as she glanced between him and El.
"No need to thank me Liv I just wish I had gotten back sooner," Elliot said and Barba nodded "no need to thank me either Liv I'm just glad I was here," he said as Fin then took all three of their statements.
