A/n: Sorry for the delay in updating went on vacation and have been bouncing between writing my two stories. I hope this update is worth the long wait.
11:45 AM.
"How exactly does this thing work? Will I need to buy a stethoscope or anything? I can..." Elliot said as thankfully the rest of the morning had gone smoothly, they had both gotten about 4 and a half hours of solid sleep and a cardiologist was fitting Liv with a portable at home heart monitor.
The doctor chuckled "that won't be necessary Mr. Stabler although it's sweet of you to think of that. The leads just stay on her and if she starts feeling strange or like she's having an irregular rhythm then she'll just press the button that's on the device and her stats will be sent to us."
He nodded "that makes sense, I just wanna look after her the best I can it's the least I can do after everything that's happened."
Olivia frowned at him "I'm fine El you promised me you wouldn't be overbearing..."
"Sorry sorry," he said and the doctor frowned at her slightly "you're lucky to have a man like him most of us are well..." he shrugged "not that attentive or caring."
Olivia's expression sobered and she nodded her head slightly "I'm gonna wanna see you in my office in one week captain Benson. It's right across from the hospital."
She nodded "I'll be there. Umm before I leave here today I'd like to change my medical power of attorney please."
He nodded "be sure and let your nurse know when she takes your IV out."
She nodded her head and he smiled "it was nice to meet you both," he said as he then left the room.
"Well he sure got frosty," Elliot said as he shook his head slightly.
Olivia sighed "he was right I was out of line I'm sorry El."
He shook his head "don't apologize Liv I know how much your independence means to you."
She sighed "I still shouldn't have snapped at you."
Elliot gently laid his hand on hers "you're tired and stressed don't worry about it it's okay Liv."
She nodded slightly "you sure?"
He nodded "I'm positive baby. So you wanna change your medical POA?"
She nodded "I wanna make it you again if you're okay with that. If not though if it's asking to much I'll understand."
He began to rub her hand "I'd be honored Liv I wanted that last night I just didn't feel like I had the right to ask for it."
"You always have the right to ask El," she said softly.
He nodded then sighed "baby how have you forgiven me this fast?"
Olivia sighed "do you wanna know the truth?"
"Of course," he said.
She nodded "If I didn't forgive you we couldn't move forward and all I've wanted for longer than I even should have is for us to move forward."
He nodded slightly and continued to rub her hand "I don't deserve you Liv I really don't I-I left you hanging for to long w-we should have gotten together fifteen years ago."
She nodded "maybe we should have but if we would have you wouldn't have Eli and he's an amazing kid."
Elliot nodded and smiled small "I can't wait for you to get to know him baby."
"I can't wait either. I don't wanna overwhelm him though El."
He nodded "I know baby and I love that about you but it's been over a year and Wheatley's been dead for a while. Kathy she'll... She'll always have a place in my heart but I have to close that chapter of my life and try and move on."
She nodded slightly "I don't know if you'll ever fully move on but I hear it gets better with time."
He sighed "I doubt my guilt will ever go away Liv, my guilt for how she died m-my guilt for abandoning you... N-none of it'll go away because I can't fix any of it but the one thing I can do is not make you wait any longer for me and by god that's what I'm gonna do."
She nodded slightly "I-It means a lot to me that I have you El I promise I'll never take us for granted."
He sighed and pulled her close "that's the exact thing I was getting at earlier you should be cussing me out and telling me I don't deserve you not promising me that," he whispered.
Olivia sighed too as she laid her head on his chest "that wouldn't get me anywhere El, yelling at you, cussing at you and blaming you for things that you can't change gets me nowhere I care about the here and now a lot more than I care about the past."
He nodded slightly, held her tight and kissed her head several times "I promise you I'm gonna be the man you deserve baby."
She nodded "you already are," she whispered and just then the nurse walked in "hi captain Benson are you ready to get out of here?"
She nodded "more than ready," she said as she moved from Elliot's embrace.
She nodded making quick work of removing her IV "so basically you're gonna be on medical leave for 6 weeks, you don't need to do any major strenuous activities and you need to be at all your doctors appointments can you do all that?"
"Yes ma'am," Liv said as she faced her "I'd like to change my medical power of attorney please."
She nodded quickly applying nonstick gauze to her arm "I'll go get the paperwork," she said then stepped out.
20 minutes later the paperwork was filled out and they were ready to go "honey I'm gonna go pull my truck up to the entrance I'll meet you out there okay?" El said.
Olivia frowned "that's not a good idea El I'm sure Donnelly's figured out where you are by now and"-
"Donnelly's dead baby all that's over."
"When did that happen?"
He sighed "last night he ran out in front of a train and killed himself."
"I'm sorry El," she whispered.
"It's no one's fault there was no changing his mind."
She nodded sadly "arresting cops is always hard because they know more than anyone what they have to lose."
He nodded "that's true... To be honest I feel terrible for his newborn son."
Olivia nodded "do you think his mom will take decent care of him?"
"Yeah I never got any bad vibes off her but you know grief does strange things to people sometimes and he's her first so."
Olivia nodded "maybe you can go by there every once and a while and check on him. That would give you peace of mind wouldn't it?"
Elliot chuckled darkly as the nurse pushed the wheelchair into the room "what's funny?" Liv asked.
"I'm the last person Bridgette will wanna see Liv," he said.
She nodded as she glared at the wheelchair but got in it with out much of a fight since she was talking "that's a good point I can always stop by there though and report back to you she doesn't know me."
"You'd really do that?" he asked shocked.
"Of course I would El I love you," she said simply.
"I love you too baby, I'll meet you right out front," he whispered as he kissed her temple then stepped out.
xxxxx
A few minutes later she was in his truck and they were driving off "you up to riding for a bit? I need to make a couple stops if you are," he asked.
"Yeah of course El I was gonna ask you to run me by the precinct anyway I need to pick up my phone."
He nodded "we can swing by there first after that I need to run by the 3-7, the hardware store and one other place."
"Okay," she said nodding and not asking any questions as they rode to the precinct in a comfortable silence.
xxxxx
"Captain!" McGrath said when he saw her grab her phone from the desk it was on.
"Chief! I didn't expect to see you here..." she said as she moved to stand beside Elliot then faced him.
He nodded and sighed "yeah well I didn't expect to be here either but SVU's short-staffed and someone has to keep it running don't they?"
"Sergeant Tutuola is my second in command and he's been here for almost as long as me I trust him to take care of things while I'm out."
He nodded "still I'd feel better running things myself. Is there any way you can be back with in four weeks?"
"I'm sorry but my doctor said six."
McGrath sighed and Elliot just looked to him "I'm gonna be putting in a furlough request too sir."
"Why?!" he asked becoming more agitated.
"Because I need a break from the work my units been sending me undercover constantly for almost a year."
"So it has nothing to do with captain Benson's heart attack?"
"With all do respect that's none of your business chief."
McGrath nodded "I don't have to approve your vacation time detective."
"El I'm fine this is getting ugly and I don't want that for you you can go back to work I understand," Liv said.
"So it is about her heart attack..." McGrath said and Elliot just glared at him "I'm taking the time whether you approve it or not you can fire me if you want I really don't care I can go back in to private security work over seas," he said as Olivia's face immediately fell.
"You wouldn't do that," McGrath said taking notice of her expression.
"You wanna bet?" he asked icily as Liv nodded "h-he's done it before."
McGrath sighed as both men noticed Olivia's trembling form "you should sit captain," McGrath said pulling out a chair for her.
"I-I'm fine," she whispered as Elliot was feeling terrible now for causing her this level of distress but he knew he had to push onwards "well what's it gonna be chief?" he asked.
"You're really serious aren't you," McGrath asked heavily.
Elliot nodded "I've got contacts all over the world I could be hired somewhere the moment she's better."
McGrath sighed in indecision and Elliot pulled his phone from his pocket "I- need to, I-I need to," Olivia whispered as she started trying to walk off but was unsteady.
"Captain stop you're gonna fall," McGrath said as Fin walked in "Wesley Green is officially at the tombs," he announced exhaustedly.
"Good," McGrath said and Fin nodded and briefed him further as since his attention was now fully on him Elliot approached Liv "Liv, Liv I'm not leaving honey. I'm not leaving," he whispered.
"B-But you told him you..." she sighed shakily "l-look I-I understand El I-I really do you have to be employed to take care of Eli but I-I can't do this to myself... I-I can't get more attached to you than I already am f-for you to move away again in six weeks I-I'm sorry..."
"I have three pensions coming in each month baby I don't need to move anywhere. I'm not going anywhere."
"B-But you said"-
"I know what I said and I'm sorry I had to say it..." he whispered as he saw Fin and McGrath's conversation wrapping up "you trust me?" he asked softly.
She nodded slightly and he nodded relieved "just keep backing my play and remember I'm not moving no matter what I tell him. I'm just trying to get my time off approved that's it," he whispered as he helped her sit in the chair.
She nodded tentatively and his soft reassuring expression became indifferent again as Fin turned away from McGrath and saw the two of them there and the looks on their faces "do I need to punch you again Stabler?" he asked.
"N-No don't hurt him," Liv jumped in and McGrath glared at him "no one is gonna punch anyone sergeant."
Fin just glared "I'm tired of you doing this to her Elliot! She was good! She was happy and now you're back and she's had a heart attack and"-
"Stop! Fin stop!" Olivia pleaded seeing Elliot's wounded expression as McGrath sighed "can we stop with this soap opera shit already? This is a working squad room."
"This is her life! He's screwing with her fucking life and I'm tired of it!"
"Elliot hasn't done anything wrong! I thought you approved of us getting together you seemed supportive," Liv said.
"That's neither here nor there, Sergeant answer the phone," McGrath said as it began to ring.
Fin stalked off and Elliot swayed slightly on his feet, regained his resolve then turned to McGrath with the same indifferent expression "well what's it gonna be chief?"
"You get two weeks to recover from your injuries you sustained yesterday afternoon then I expect you back at work," he said adamantly.
"That doesn't work for me," he said pulling his phone from his pocket as Liv looked to him quickly "El wait!" she exclaimed in fake panic believing what he had told her earlier but trying to sell her distress to McGrath.
Elliot, believing her panic was real gave her a quick reassuring look as she returned it and nodded firmly then faced McGrath "y-you're not thinking this through chief you're really not."
"You don't want him to go I get that but this is a work place captain you know that better than anyone."
"It is you're right but do you really want to have a problem with Lt. Brooster over this? It's just a few weeks chief."
"Ah I don't care what he thinks."
"You should OCCB works a lot of human trafficking cases with us and you'll be the one dealing with him while I'm away you said yourself that you don't trust Fin to run the unit."
McGrath sighed "fine! Fine I'll bring him to speed," he muttered stomping out and the two of them sighed in relief.
"El? Can we go in my office where it's private?" Liv asked as unis were starting to mill about.
"You don't have to ask me this is your station house baby," he said quietly.
"Yeah I know but"-
He shook his head and gently grasped her wrist as they slowly walked in there and shut the door "you didn't have to hold on to me you know," she said as she sat down on her couch then tapped the spot beside her.
"I know," he said as he saw her hand "you want the blinds open or closed?"
"Closed please."
Elliot nodded and obliged then sat down beside her "Liv I'm sorry baby the last thing you needed out there was more stress."
Olivia shook her head "if anyone should be apologizing it's McGrath he's the one who's being a complete dick."
Elliot chuckled slightly and she frowned "what's funny?"
He continued to chuckle "it's what you said... I never thought I'd see the day when you called your supervisor a dick."
"Well he is one he's been one ever since I've known him he pushed Garland out and I really liked him he was level headed, fair... He was an amazing chief El."
He nodded and rubbed her shoulder "I'm sorry honey," he whispered.
She sighed and nodded "he's terrible with the victims, wants me to make all these budget cuts that aren't feasible then he complains and complains about my case stats. W-What am I suppose to do El? W-What am I-I supposed to do w-when I'm short staffed a-and more women are being raped than ever now a-and I'm out for six weeks and"- she asked as her breathing was becoming unsteady and she was starting to have a panic attack.
"Liv. Sweetheart I need you to take some deep breaths okay? This isn't good for your heart. In," he inhaled deeply "out," he exhaled slowly "with me," he coaxed as he continued his steady breathing.
She leaned into him as she tried to slow her breathing "I've got you honey I'm here," he whispered as he wrapped his arm around her gently and stroked her hair "right here baby. That's it in and out, slow and steady."
After a couple minutes of that they got her breathing stabilized "E-El I-I'm so sorry... I-I'm such a mess you deserve better."
"Liv don't talk like that please," he whispered.
"I-I'm sorry," she said again.
He stroked her hair gently and kissed her temple "honey have you ever thought about?..." he trailed off.
"What is it?" she asked.
"Maybe talking to someone? It's clear that this man's behavior and everything else going on in your life has you stressed to the max and it might be helpful to get it all off your chest."
"I-I have a therapist already El making time to see him is where the problem lies."
He nodded slightly "no pressure but I'd be happy to drive you anytime you want to go."
She sighed slightly and he decided to drop it "you know I'd rejoin SVU. A lot of time's passed since the shooting and I have experience with the cases you wouldn't have to worry about that."
"That means a lot El and I love the idea but..."
"What is it?" he asked.
She sighed "a lot's changed over the years, and I'm in charge and you trained me and"-
"Do you think I wouldn't follow chain of command?"
"It's not that... And I would give you leeway, try to treat you as my equal but your old way it just..."
"Doesn't work anymore. I know honey I've heard about all the lawsuits I've gotta tell you though I'm not suggesting this so I can come back and try to take over or do things my way I just wanna help you that's it and Liv if I do this I don't want any favoritism I want you to treat me like you do everyone else."
She nodded slightly "let me think about it okay? I'm not saying no I just need to think besides you might not even be employed by the NYPD at the end of today so."
He nodded, chuckled lightly and rubbed her back as he let his gaze wander to all her commendations which were displayed on her wall and smiled proudly "El?" she asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
"Hmm?" he asked.
"How far are you wanting to take this?"
"What do you mean?"
"When McGrath gets back with Brooster how far do you"-
"How far are you comfortable with?"
"I mean I should be fine as long as you don't actually call someone overseas."
He nodded "you know I'll have to act like I'm going to but they won't have to see anything else."
She nodded slightly, sighed and yawned "it's less about trust and more about me not wanting the guy to actually sign you up for a job."
He nodded "I understand," he said as he gently pulled her into his arms.
She nodded and recreated the slight distance "if I stay like that I'll fall asleep."
"It's okay if you do baby the blinds are closed."
She shook her head "I don't want McGrath seeing me like that."
"Okay," he said as he nodded "can I try something though? They might still be a little while Broosters office is in Queens."
She nodded and he smiled "can you turn a little? To where your back's facing me?"
She nodded slightly and did so "now can you lean forward?"
"W-Why?" she asked perplexed.
"You trust me?" he asked softly.
"Y-Yeah but"- she said as just then there was a knock on her office door and Elliot sighed at the horrible timing.
"Come in!" Olivia called a little to quickly as she hadn't known what he wanted to do just that none of her previous boyfriends had ever asked her to position herself that way before and she quickly turned back around "Liv! Hey I didn't expect to see you back here so soon!" Rollins said stepping in to the office.
"Ohh we shouldn't be here much longer El's just waiting for the chief. How's Noah?"
"He's good he can't wait to see you."
"I can't wait to see him either," she said.
She nodded "if you're feeling up to it tomorrow night I got tickets for me, you, Noah, the girls and Carisi for the Fantom of the Opera."
"I might go but if I do El, his mom and son might come too. I'll pay for their tickets."
"I can't I'm supposed to go to a ceremony tomorrow night but if you're up to it I want you and Noah to go and have a blast," he said.
"What kind of ceremony?"
"They're giving me the fucking combat cross. I told them I don't want it but who cares what I want right?"
"El it's an honor to get that cross I can't believe you didn't tell me... Rollins you can take Noah to see the opera but I can't go."
"Liv..." Elliot said through a sigh.
Rollins looked to them both "looks like I started a fight so I'm just gonna go so you guys can work it out. Take care Liv."
"You too Amanda," she said as they were then alone "you weren't gonna tell me were you?"
"No I wasn't," he said adamantly.
"What the hell Elliot?! We're in a relationship aren't we supposed to be there for those sort of things?"
"Yeah but I don't deserve the combat cross. I shouldn't be getting it and I'm not gonna ask you to be there when what they're saying I got it for caused your heart attack."
"Honey in their eyes it was damn good undercover work and really it was you captured all those officers because of it. Do you really think it would have went down so easily if you hadn't done what you did?"
"It wouldn't have but you wouldn't have had a heart attack and that matters more to me."
"El this isn't about me this is about all the men you arrested."
"But it's cause and effect baby if I hadn't thought of that horrible plan this wouldn't have happened to you and I don't deserve an award for it."
She sighed "okay maybe in your eyes you don't, I understand why you feel that way but El you shouldn't be there with just the white shirts and no real supporters I wanna support you."
"I don't deserve that though Liv! I don't deserve you being there that's my point!" he shouted.
The office door opened "knock it off!" Velasco demanded at Elliot thinking he was just yelling at her and not understanding the context.
Olivia was unaffected by his anger knowing that it was directed at himself not her as she glared at Velasco "shut my door and mind your damn business," she said as she then looked back to Elliot "why don't you take a minute and think about what I want?" she suggested softly, the grief in his eyes breaking her heart.
"I-I'm sorry I... I didn't mean to yell at you," he whispered.
She shook her head and rubbed his back slightly "don't worry about it El just take a minute and think," she whispered.
He nodded slightly, stood and paced "I-I know what you want b-but I don't understand why," he choked out, his body facing the window after a few minutes.
She stood from the couch and walked over to him "it's because I love you... I love you and wanna support you... Please let me?"
He sighed "W-Why do you love me? I don't deserve your love."
She sighed "I-I've loved you for a long time Elliot. F-For longer than I should have and believe me while you were gone I tried to stop. I-I tried to move on and at times I did partly b-but now you're back, I've done a lot of thinking and I still love you because you're the kind, faithful, devoted man that I deserve."
"B-But I haven't been that man I-I've been everything but him since the moment I met you."
"You were that man for me last night and I believe you when you say you're gonna be better in the future. Elliot y-you have to forgive yourself honey because like I said earlier we can't change the past. I-I wish we could I know we would both do a hundred or more things differently but all we have the power to control now is our futures."
He nodded slightly and pulled her in to his arms gently "y-you can come tomorrow... I-If you feel up to it I-I want you there tomorrow..."
She returned the embrace "I'll be there El... I promise you I'll be there."
He exhaled slightly, nodded and kissed her head several times "you know dad didn't earn his either so I guess it just comes with being a Stabler."
She rubbed his back sympathetically "so Donnelly was telling you the truth? The scene was staged?"
"Yepp found out the other day and confronted Gus. That's probably how my cover was blown."
"I'm so sorry El," she whispered as she then became dizzy "whoo I uhh need to sit for a minute," she said as her legs trembled.
Elliot gently helped her sit back on the couch then stood in front of her "do you need me to do anything?" he asked worriedly.
"I-I'm fine it'll pass. Whoo El where are you?" she asked as she felt like the room was spinning.
"I'm right here," he said concerned as he took her hand in his and squeezed it gently.
She squeezed back and mashed the button on her portable heart monitor with her other hand "are you sure there's nothing I can do Liv? I'll do anything you need," he said softly.
She squeezed his hand a little tighter "it'll pass please just don't go anywhere, p-please.."
"I won't. I promise, I swear," he said stroking her knuckles with his thumb as the door opened "god what the hell are you thinking Stabler! We need you you're a valuable asset to our team," Brooster said panicked at the thought of him going back overseas.
Elliot was monitoring Liv so closely in her episode that he didn't even here him or see McGrath standing close by "baby your hand is getting clammy I think I should call an ambulance."
"N-No hospital," she said adamantly and McGrath looked to him "her blood sugar dropped I should know."
"S-She doesn't have diabetes though."
"Captain eat this," he said ignoring him and pulling a KitKat from his pocket.
Olivia startled slightly shocked to see McGrath there and despite not wanting to she shakily dropped Elliot's hand for the sake of appearances "I-I feel nauseous and dizzy chief I-I don't want to make a mess."
"So you'd rather pass out or die instead? Your blood sugar has dropped you need to eat something sweet."
Elliot gave him a quick glare for being so harsh then turned back to Liv "hey the worse case scenario is you throw up and I clean up the floor best case he's right and it helps. You think it's worth a try?" he asked gently.
She nodded slightly and took the KitKat, opening it with shaky fingers as Elliot slightly smiled, it taking everything in him not to stroke her hair "has she eaten today?" McGrath asked.
Elliot shook his head "she didn't want the hospital food and I planned to have stopped at the diner already but we were held up here."
"Well that's not my fault," he said defensively.
"Yes it is you're the one who refused to approve my furlough request."
"Guys please..." Liv whispered as she chewed on the candy bar and rubbed her temples.
"Sorry baby," El whispered and McGrath frowned "sick or not you can't take that tone with me captain."
Olivia sighed and tried to turn away from him but had another dizzy spell "look I don't mean to be insensitive here but I have to get back soon we're doing a sting on a guy tonight who is in possession of 350 lbs of meth amphetamine and I have to make sure my UC is ready," Brooster said.
"I understand Bill, Stabler's right there give him your shpill," McGrath said.
"How are you feeling now baby? Any better?" Brooster heard him ask Liv tenderly as he sighed "he won't listen to me right now I don't even think he knows I'm here."
McGrath just nodded "detective!" he said sharply.
"Lower your voice," Elliot demanded as Liv had spoken but he didn't here her thanks to him "say that again baby?" he asked softly.
"A little," she repeated again and he sighed in relief "you just want to be fired don't you," McGrath said.
"I actually don't care if I'm being honest with you but if you were gonna fire me you would have done it already," he said sitting down.
McGrath just glared and Brooster sighed "what the hell has gotten into you Stabler? Do you think that since you're getting the cross you can disrespect your superiors and get away with it?"
Elliot glared "this isn't about that at all I told Ayanna I didn't want it all I want are my eight weeks of furlough that's it."
"I'm not approving eight weeks detective," McGrath said.
Elliot nodded "then I'm gonna work private security overseas end of story," he said grabbing his phone.
"No! No wait don't call we need you you're a huge asset!" Brooster panicked.
"The only way I'm staying is if I'm given this time off so if you want me to stay you have to work it out with him."
"Chief please... you don't realize how many men he's helped us collar. How many men he'll continue to help bring down once he's back," Brooster said pleading his case.
"This is all talk Bill when push comes to shove he won't leave captain Benson behind you know that."
"Maybe he wouldn't but I could always go with him I've put in my 20. I could retire and we could travel the world," Liv said, now recovered from her dizzy spell.
McGrath's face went white "w-what?"
"You heard me. Fin could run this place for a few years then when he's ready to retire Rollins could take over. It would be perfect."
"I... I thought retirement wasn't even on your radar. I-I was setting you up to replace me when I leave."
She sighed "it wasn't but things change you've seen how my health has declined in the last two days."
McGrath sighed angrily and slammed his fist down on her desk as she flinched "hey," Elliot said calmly while glaring at McGrath as he gave Liv's arm a few gentle strokes for comfort then moved his arm back to his side.
The door opened quickly "what is it with everyone being angry today? You guys trying to give the cap a second heart attack?" Velasco asked.
"Everything's good here. Is that right?" Brooster asked pointing at El and McGrath as Liv glared at Velasco again.
Elliot nodded "I'm not angry," he said and McGrath just sighed "go back to your desk detective."
Velasco scurried off again and a heavy uncomfortable silence filled the room as Elliot ended up wrapping his hand around her wrist and rubbing it gently.
Olivia's wrist relaxed and she sighed in contentment a few minutes later when the rubbing turned into a gentle kneading motion "fine you get your eight weeks Stabler but not a moment longer understand? And captain I don't want you going overseas," McGrath said firmly.
Brooster sighed in relief and so did Elliot "I assure you I have no desire to go over there alone," Liv said.
McGrath nodded then looked back to Elliot "do you understand? I want to hear the words."
"Yeah I do and unless something else happens I won't ask for more time. I won't be going undercover again though ever."
"But you're one of the best UC's we have," Brooster said.
"You'll find a replacement. Someone that's younger and that you can teach all the tricks of the trade to but I'm done I can't do it anymore."
Brooster sighed heavily and McGrath pulled him aside to have a whispered conversation "you want me to make going back UC a condition of his time off?"
"No because he'll just decline and go back overseas. The best thing we can do is back off for now, let him calm down and I'll talk to him again once he's back."
McGrath nodded and stepped back over to the desk "I'll get the time approved for the both of you by the end of the day. Captain I have you down for six weeks if a physician tells you to take any more than that please have their office fax me a note. Detective you're down for 8 weeks and nothing short of an emergency in your immediate family will get you any more time."
Liv and El both glared at him but nodded their heads "also for the record I don't appreciate my hand being forced like this just so you both know. I'll see you tomorrow detective," he said then stormed out angrily.
"I'll do my best!" he called after him and Brooster sighed "there's no doing your best Stabler just be there."
"He will be, El I'm ready to leave," Liv said and they stood in sync as Brooster left the office "what are you doing?" she asked referring to the gentle kneading motion he was still doing to her wrist.
He smiled "massaging your wrist you were tense."
She nodded slightly "I've never had a massage before," she said.
"What?" he asked shocked and a bit angry to here that.
She just shook her head "it feels good."
He nodded and kissed her temple "I'm glad honey. Tell you what I'll give you a better one tonight."
"Okay," she whispered as she stood there for a minute more "you ready to leave?" she finally asked.
Elliot nodded and dropped her wrist as she tried not to show him that she missed his touch "I don't know about you but I'm starved," he said as he opened the door.
"I could go for something light I still feel a little out of sorts from that strange spell I had earlier."
He nodded "McGrath seemed to think it was from you not eating but if it happens again you should tell your doctor."
She sighed slightly and nodded "I will," she said as they walked out into the bullpen.
He nodded his head as they walked side by side in sync "Liv!" Rollins called as they passed her desk.
"Yeah?" she asked stopping to face her.
"I figured I'd let you know Carisi had to go in to court. He called Lucy and she's at your place with Noah."
"Thanks for telling me. What time do you want to get him tomorrow?"
"Say 5? The opera starts at 7 but we're gonna eat out first."
She nodded "that works for me. Me and El can drop him at the restaurant on our way to headquarters."
Rollins nodded and motioned Liv closer as she looked to El who gave her a smile "what is it?" she asked as she approached her desk.
"Does Noah know him?" she whispered.
"Not really but I have to stay with him for six weeks so he's going to."
"Liv you're more than welcome to stay with me and Sonny."
She shook her head "I appreciate your offer really but this is an opportunity for us to get to know each other completely again and I want to get to know Eli just like El wants to get to know Noah."
Rollins just nodded "girl if you need anything... Anything at all..."
"I'll call you I promise but I'll be in good hands."
"I hope so," she said as Liv stepped away to find El on the phone and Fin walked in with a pizza "well Fin I'm out of here. Keep me updated on things though and don't let McGrath burn the place down okay?"
"McGrath's gonna be in charge? You can't be serious?..."
"I'm sorry I tried to fight it but"-
"It's fine baby girl you just take care of yourself," he said with a kind smile.
"I will and umm just a friendly warning. You hurt Elliot again we'll have problems understand?"
Fin sighed but nodded and she smiled "see you in 6 weeks."
"See you then," she said as she stepped over to an aggravated looking Elliot and they left the building.
xxxxx
"I hate being on hold," he said as elevator music played over his hands free phone system in the car.
"Me too what's up?"
He sighed "I've gotta get a contractor to fix my wall."
"What happened to it?"
"Baby you don't wanna know trust me."
She smiled "did you punch a hole into it?"
He shook his head "not exactly."
She nodded "what happened then?"
He sighed "Belladonna happened to it."
"Who's Belladonna?"
"A woman who's in custody now."
"Okay?..."
He sighed "she tried to... She tried to do something to me but she's in custody now," he said carefully.
"What did she try to do?"
"Liv that doesn't matter right now what matters is that I'm safe," he said not wanting to stress her out more."
She sighed "s-she tried to attack you didn't she?"
Elliot reached over and rubbed her arm "she did honey but it didn't work I defended myself and I'm safe."
She nodded slightly "I wanna wrap you up in bubble rap you know that?"
Elliot chuckled "same here baby, same here," he said as the line clicked "we're sorry but the party you are trying to reach cannot accept your call at this time. Please try again later, goodbye," as the call disconnected and he punched the steering wheel.
"It's okay El why don't we just stay at my place until it can be fixed?"
"Are you sure you're alright with that? I don't want to impose."
"You wouldn't be imposing at all your mom can take my room, you and Eli can take Noah's and we'll take the living room."
"Mom and Eli are staying with Kathleen until the wall's fixed but even if they weren't Liv no I still wouldn't let that happen."
Olivia frowned and Elliot shook his head adamantly "it's your apartment so you keep your bedroom plain and simple and I'll sleep where ever you want me to I know our relationship is really new."
"El are you sure you don't wanna get Eli at least? I really don't mind."
He nodded "trust me he's content at Kathleen's she keeps all the food he likes and lets him do about everything he wants."
She chuckled slightly "okay," she said as she was quiet for a minute "and El?"
"Hmm?"
"I want you to stay in with me just be on the couch before Noah wakes up tomorrow okay? I wanna ease him into this."
He nodded "I understand I can do that it's no problem."
Olivia nodded relieved as I Love You Baby by Frank Sinatra could be heard starting to play and they held hands while he drove the rest of the way to the diner.
xxxxx
The rest of the afternoon went by quick as Elliot quickly cleaned his desk at the 3-7 then Olivia stood beside him while he told the father of the boy that his dad and partner framed the truth as by the time that was done and groceries were picked up it was almost 7 PM "tell you what I'll call the contractor again tomorrow and if I can't get him I'll swing by the hardware store then and buy the stuff to fix it myself," he said as he buckled his seatbelt.
"Do you even know how to fix that kind of thing?" Liv asked.
"I've never done it before but the way Eli talks you too or whatever the hell it is has how to videos on everything so."
Olivia chuckled "Youtube. It's Youtube El."
"Yeah yeah whatever," he said as they kissed quickly and he pulled out with a smile.
xxxxx
"Do you think Noah's gonna be alright with me being here?" Elliot asked as they rode the elevator to her floor.
Liv nodded "I asked him last night if he was okay with you being around more and he said he was as long as you're nice."
He nodded "I'll be as nice as I can."
Liv smiled "don't be overly nice just act normal around him your normal is enough I promise."
He nodded as they stepped off the elevator "yours is the third on the right right?"
She nodded and he smiled "I thought so but wanted to make sure."
She chuckled slightly and nodded "thank god this time your here for slightly better circumstances."
"It's not really much better if I'm being honest baby."
"Maybe not but you're lucid so that makes it better I can actually show you around."
"That's true I'm still so sorry I did that."
"It's okay really you couldn't help it," she said as she opened her door and they walked inside "mom!!!" Noah yelled excitedly as he ran over and hugged her tightly.
"Easy gentle," Lucy said as she then saw a stranger behind Liv and backed up a few paces.
"Noah... I've missed you so much sweet boy!" she said hugging him even tighter as she then put him down and observed the room "El it's okay you can come all the way in, Lucy he's not a threat you don't have to worry."
She nodded slightly and stood back where she had been before as Elliot stepped further into the apartment "it's nice to see you again buddy," he said giving Noah a gentle clap on the shoulder.
"You too Elliot," he said giving him a hi five then running back to finish his dinner as El extended his hand out to Lucy "hi I'm Elliot Stabler I've known Olivia for many years," he said figuring that for now that was the best way to introduce himself.
Lucy nodded and shook his hand "it's nice to meet you Mr. Stabler. Funny that we've never met before though."
"We lost touch for a while but have reconnected," Liv said.
"I see. Will you be needing me again tomorrow?"
"I don't think so Lucey me and Elliot both took a bit of time off work so."
She nodded understanding "well just reach out when you need me again. I-I'll miss him," she whispered.
"You can come see him anytime you like I'm not firing you Lucey besides I'll have a few doctors appointments anyway."
She nodded understanding "I'm really sorry to hear about what happened too I hope you get well."
"I will I'm in the best hands."
She nodded "that's great to hear Liv, take care, bye Noah!"
"Bye Lucey!" he called as she left and Liv and El smiled.
Elliot ended up fixing them both a small plate of pasta and they ate with Noah then watched a movie as Liv sat on the couch with El to her left and Noah to her right and she leaned against El while Noah leaned against her.
By the halfway point of the movie Liv was asleep as she slept the rest of the way through it "mom! Mom it's time for bed mom!" Noah said shaking her shoulder once it was over.
"It is? What time is it baby?" she asked groggily.
"9:30. You're really tired do you want me to get Elliot a blanket?"
"I can get my own blanket thanks for offering though buddy," he said with a soft smile.
Noah chuckled "but you don't know where they are silly! Come on I'll show you! Night mom!" he said giving her a quick hug.
"Goodnight sweet boy, sleep tight I'll see you in the morning."
"Okay! You coming Elliot?"
"I am I am," he said as he kissed Liv's temple "I'll meet you in there baby," he whispered in her ear.
She nodded slightly then stood from the couch and headed towards her room "goodnight Elliot see you tomorrow!" she said.
"Night Liv sleep well."
"You too!" she said shutting her door and he followed Noah to the hall closet.
"You can have any blanket, sheet or pillow you want that's in here they're all clean mom cleaned them all," Noah said.
Elliot nodded and took one of each "thank you buddy you're very hospitable."
"What does that mean?"
He smiled "welcoming," he said.
Noah nodded "mom says it's always good to have good manners."
"She's right buddy," he said with a smile.
Noah nodded "you wanna play blocks with me tomorrow?"
"Absolutely what do you like to build?" he asked while spreading the sheet over the couch.
"Towers mostly. I like to see if I can get them to touch the ceiling."
Elliot nodded "has that happened yet?"
"No but I'll never give up."
Elliot nodded "well maybe if all three of us work together we can accomplish your goal."
Noah smiled brightly "you really think we can?"
"Maybe so it definitely won't hurt to try," he said as the couch was now fully ready.
Noah nodded and smiled then looked to Elliot confused since he was still standing there "do you not like the blanket? You can get a different one."
"I like it just fine buddy," he said as he climbed up there and laid down.
Noah nodded and smiled seeing him "goodnight Elliot," he said.
"Night buddy," he said yawning as Noah went to his room.
Elliot gave it about 15 minutes to make sure he wouldn't come back out then went to Liv's room and lightly knocked "come in," she called softly.
He walked in quietly and shut the door finding her in an NYPD shirt and a loose pair of pajama pants "I thought you changed your mind on coming in here," she whispered.
"I didn't honey I'm sorry Noah was persistent wouldn't go to bed till he saw me lay down. I wanted to make sure he wasn't gonna come back out."
She sighed "I'm sorry El... I'll talk to him."
"You don't have to Liv it's alright you've taught him great manners he seemed to care a lot about me being comfortable."
She nodded "that's my Noah. I doubt you're comfortable in those genes though."
"They're all I have I'll be fine don't worry about me."
"I know you would be but I don't want you to be uncomfortable why don't you just sleep in your boxers?"
"Are you sure you're okay with that?"
She nodded and yawned "mmhmm I trust you."
Elliot nodded, quietly discarded his genes then climbed onto the empty side of the bed "do you still want that better massage I promised you earlier?" he asked softly.
"Mmhmm," she said nodding.
Elliot smiled and nodded "can you roll onto your stomach for me?"
"W-Why?"
He kissed her temple gently then stroked her hair "I thought I might give you a back massage. I don't want you to be nervous though baby I can do your shoulders instead, we can wait a while or I can do your wrist again it's whatever you want."
She nodded "does my shirt have to be off?"
Elliot shook his head "I can reach underneath it or we don't have to do it at all," he reiterated.
Olivia nodded slightly "I-I wanna try this if it's anything like what you did earlier I wanna try it."
He nodded "it'll probably be a bit more intense but if I'm doing my job right it'll feel good."
She nodded her head and carefully rolled onto her stomach "where do you want my hands?" she asked.
"Anywhere that's comfortable for you baby," he said as he moved and sat to where he could reach her hole back easily.
She nodded and let them lightly rest on the back of her head "Liv have you seriously never had a massage before?" he asked still in shock from her saying that earlier as he placed his hands on her back.
She shook her head "no El I haven't none of the men I was ever with mentioned it and I never felt like I could ever ask for things like that in the bedroom."
Elliot nodded as he was truly heartbroken for her "you can always ask baby that's how it's always supposed to work," he said then shook his head "actually no that's a lie Liv the man is supposed to just do these things because he loves you and cares," he said as he started by gently rubbing her lower back knowing that she was worried about it hurting and wanting to ease her into it.
She nodded slightly and sighed in contentment as a moment later he transitioned from rubbing it to gently kneading it "mmmm," she moaned.
Elliot smiled and gradually began hitting some tension points "ahhhh," she said after a minute.
"Does that feel good?" he asked softly.
"Mmhmm," she moaned and he nodded, took a chance and increased the pressure a little "ahhhh yes feels so good," she responded.
He smiled, nodded and moved up a bit on her back using the same amount of pressure as the moans which came from her were endless "shhh, Noah," he whispered gently when she got a little to loud.
"S-Sorry," she whispered.
He shook his head "don't apologize," he said as he moved to her upper back and shoulders which had the most tension points.
She quietly moaned in pleasure until he pressed to hard on one then winced and whimpered "shhh I'm sorry I'm sorry," he whispered moving up and away from it.
"M-Move back down please," she whispered.
"Okay okay, I'm sorry baby do you want me to stop?"
She shook her head "j-just stick to my lower back please."
"I can do that baby," he whispered as he went back to gently kneading her skin and she ended up falling asleep relaxed and content as he smiled and slowly stopped his movements then set his alarm to move to the couch for 6, pulled her into his arms and fell asleep with her head on his chest.
