Recovery
Chapter 16
The Journal of John Nolan
So much has happened since I had time to write about anything that I hardly know where to begin. I suppose where I left off is as good a place as any. The 2-11 Harper and I went out on turned out to be a kid with a water pistol trying to steal Slim Jims. I've never understood why anyone would eat those, let alone steal them. He said he was hungry. The social workers can determine what is going on with him, but if he really is food-insecure, he sounds like a candidate for Tamar's programs. At least I know there's an answer somewhere.
As I was afraid they would, the 14 Club went after Professor Ryan. I ended up calling in Lucy and Jackson and Bradford and his new rookie to go after them. The division had two new rookies. I say had, because one of them washed out in roll call. He's a nice enough guy, but I don't know how he ever made it through the academy. He's older than I am, but that isn't the problem, at least not for me. He is about an inch shorter than I am and at least 30 pounds heavier, maybe more. The force would have had to waive the fitness requirements or something. I don't think he could have made it under the 22% fat allowed for males. Not even close, really. But I'll never know. He shot out the windows, and Grey kicked him loose. He came from IT. Hopefully, they'll give him his old job back. The other one left on her own. I don't know why. She seemed fit for the job. She may have shared her reasons with Bradford, but he hasn't talked about them.
We got the guys stalking Ryan, but she had to hide under her truck to avoid getting killed. That must have been pretty traumatic. She'll need some support. I hope she drops being stubborn long enough to get it. If nothing else, I'll still be around. At least I hope I will.
I've been avoiding putting down what is really tearing me up inside. Henry and Abigail came to dinner at the house, and Henry collapsed. Abigail called 911, but the paramedics were too far out, so it was faster to take Henry to the hospital in my truck. After all these good years, the tetralogy of Fallot has again reared its ugly head. Henry was supposed to be keeping up with regular visits to a cardiologist to detect any complication that could develop. Apparently, after he went to college, he let them go. Maybe that's my fault. Sarah thinks it is. I've always encouraged him to feel invincible. I guess he felt too invincible.
Sarah is here. Ben had her flown in. The doctors offered two different surgical options for Henry. Unless he wakes up and can make a decision for himself, as next of kin, it falls on Sarah and me. I'm trying to wrap my head around the situation. From what I understand, one choice is safer but won't give Henry as much freedom in his future activities. The other could restore him completely but also stands a greater risk of killing him. How can we make a decision like that? How could anyone make a decision like that? Abigail thinks that Henry would want to take the risk. But she wouldn't want him to. She loves him too much to think of losing him. So do I. But I think the decision should be about what Henry would want. Sarah isn't so sure about that. We've disagreed so many times before, and usually, to keep the peace, I gave in. But this is too important for that. I have to be sure, but I can't be sure. Right now, I'm not sure about anything.
Grey surprised me. I saw him at the hospital, but he wasn't around just for me. The leader of a drug cartel, La Fiera, is there, and the division is keeping an eye on her. She has a strange relationship with Lopez. Angela isn't sure whether the woman wishes her baby well or will be a threat to the child. None of our brothers and sisters in blue want to take any chances.
I spoke with Grey about taking time off because of Henry. I was terrified of what he would say, so close to the end of my rookie time. But he told me that family trumps everything and that I'm exactly where I should be. For once, I wanted to hug the man.
It is strange spending this much time with Sarah. I'm remembering both why I loved her and why we never really got along. In hindsight, I'm glad I left Grace to return to Sarah, not just to support her and Henry, but because Sarah's always been straight with me. We came together in crisis, and now we're coming together in crisis again. But at least I have some idea what she's thinking. It's the same thing I am. She wants to do what's best for Henry. The problem is that we have often not agreed on what that is.
"Chen, where are you?" Harper demands as Lucy stares into empty air.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I was thinking about John and what's going to happen to Henry. So much of what John's done for most of his life was for his son. And when he finally gets to do something for himself, this happens."
Nyla stares at Lucy. "You and Nolan weren't just rookies together, were you? Did you sleep with him?"
"It's been over for a long time, but I did. Bishop figured that out too. So did West. How did you all know?" Lucy wonders.
"That's what I've been trying to get across to you about undercover work. It's all about tiny little signals. You have this look when you mention Nolan's name. It lasts less than a second, but I can see it. That's the sort of thing that could be fatal if a dealer picks up on it. You'll have to do more than learn the details about drug chemistry or addiction. You have to completely immerse yourself in your character. When I become Crystal, I am Crystal. You'll have to do the same with your covers. The tiniest slip could mean blowing the operation and worse, cost you your life. If you can't live another identity, you're never going to make it in undercover work."
"I can do it," Lucy insists. "But before we work on it further, I want to call John to see how he's doing. Then I can concentrate."
"Go ahead. I'm worried about him too. He's still my boot. But remember, when you're on the job, you may not have the chance to check in with anyone."
"I can handle it," Lucy insists. "I feel like everything I've done, all the psychology courses, learning to understand how people think, has been leading me up to this moment. I'll call John, and then let's go through the scenario again."
"Tell him that Lila said she's praying for Henry," Harper urges.
"I will," Lucy promises.
Wesley's eyes flash as he faces Angela. "Why do you want to go see La Fiera? Aren't things complicated enough with working on the wedding?"
"They are complicated," Angela admits. "And one of the complications is that she managed to get into our apartment. Her note wished our baby well, but she was also letting me know that she could get to me anytime she wanted to. I want to look her in the eyes to figure out what she's up to."
"Then I'm going with you," Wesley declares.
"You can come," Angela allows, "but if she has something to say, she's not going to do it with anyone else in the room. I need to talk to her alone."
"I'll be right outside the door waiting for you," Wesley assures her. "And I'm going to grab a couple of other cops from Mid-Wilshire to wait with me."
