Chapter 1: New Days and Better Ed's
Double D remembers when he was younger looking at himself in the mirror and feeling empty. This emptiness made him feel as if his body was just not his but rather some stranger face to face with him. He looked at his boney, thin frail body with pity seeing how pathetic it was. It was ugly, disgusting, and uncomfortable he would often say to himself believing that it was some cruel joke the world through at him.
He hated his body.
He hated his stupid gapped teeth.
He hated how weak he was.
He hated himself.
Growing up all he wanted was to be happy with you he was, but no matter how hard he studied or how much time he spent with his best friends or the amount of effort he put into his activities, he wasn't happy with who he was.
He didn't even love himself.
Struggling through depression beginning at the young age of 11, he went through pill after pill, session after session, and everything in between but, nothing worked.
At some point he gave up, he felt there was nothing that could truly make him alive or even bring him to say some form of compliment to himself. All he could think about were his flaws and how he couldn't stand to look at himself in the mirror.
That was until one day, that changed his whole sight of himself.
It was summer, back in 2003 when he and the Eds were only 11 at the time, got involved in another one of Eddy's scams. His idea was to hold a 'Drag Show' in hopes that the other residents of the Cul de sac would buy into it and make Eddy 'rich'. He was dumb but being Edd he couldn't refuse his friend's plan. It all went like almost every scheme, until Edd looked at himself in the mirror after putting on his costume. He was stunned and had his breath taking away looking at a beautiful girl in front of him. She had such long blonde hair that was shaped like the sun's solar magmatic waves, her eyelids covered in glitter almost like fairy dust, her lips painted in a gorgeous red that brought out her ocean like eyes that if Edd kept staring into he'd be lost at sea, even the dress she wore that was clearly too big for her complimented her curves and made her small lean body look like a work of art in a museum.
It then hit him; he was looking in a mirror at himself. His eyes tear up not knowing if it's from sadness or happiness at his discovery.
He looked like a girl, and he liked it.
Playing with the strands of blonde hair from the wig he's wearing, Edd came to some form of realization that he enjoyed dressing like a girl. Like for once his dead, colorless body became a light of life and feeling of aliveness. He wanted this more than anything in his whole life and he found it.
This was him.
Of course, the moment was ruined when Kevin and a few of the Cul de sac members saw the Eds dressed as women, while the two other Eds saw this as necessary for cash and nothing more, Edd saw this as a sign and something he didn't want to let go of. While the two Eds strutted down the makeshift staged without care or trying, Edd went down proud and energic. He spun around and twirled and saw nothing but the clouds in his look. However, that changed when a piece of trash was thrown at him, causing him to pause where he stood to see who had thrown literal trash at him, not surprisingly it was Kevin who laughed and him and continued to throw trash at him and the other Eds. He could feel tears swell up as the beautiful body and face he carried was now tainted by the disgusting trash thrown at him. He remembers hearing nothing but laughter as the others began to get in on it. Throwing trash and stones at them, he even heard profanities thrown at him which felt as if it struck him harder than the items being thrown at him. That's when he looked up to see Kevin, laughing and had one last piece of trash to throw at him with it he called him a 'fag'. After the whole tragic event, Edd ran home crying as he hurried to go wash himself.
Filthy, Filthy, Filthy
This is when another realization to his discovery of his own self-admiration came into play. Boys weren't supposed to dress like girls.
While he hated that realization it didn't really stop him, as he would when left home alone wear his mother's dresses or even some of the cheap thrifted girl's clothes, he would buy behind his parents back. Edd would dress himself and look at himself happily, gleefully and lovingly as he felt comfortable in this skin. But, even in the dress it wasn't enough. He soon pushed the boundaries by putting makeup on himself rather it being his mother's lipstick or some dollar store brand eyeshadow. It made the look feel so much more, yet even this didn't satisfy him. This last attempt was one pushing past any boundary he has of himself, one he felt could never be broken. He took off his beanie, revealing his long black silky hair that curled at the end tips, at the right side of her head was thin scar on her scalp. Looking back at himself, he looked like a girl and not just any girl but a beautiful girl, maybe this was something he need or something he was.
Maybe he was a girl?
Was he a girl?
He is a girl.
That thought hit him, he was a girl. Wait not HE but, SHE didn't know what to do about this. Should she tell her parents? Should she continue researching his habit? Should she tell her friends? All those questions hit her mind but soon the memory back from summer hit her and put rubbed the makeup off her face and cried as she didn't know what to do.
It took her some time until she grew the courage to tell her parents, while not being completely accepting of the confession, they agreed they would let her 'experience' being trans in the hopes that she backs out of it.
Her mother Victoria, agreed to let her go on hormone blockers but with it came her mother's back handed and worrisome comments. Mainly being how she'd be damaging her body, how it was unhealthy, the long term affects if she ever wanted to be a man again, and so on. Even her father seemed to change his attitude towards her from being absent with the occasion phone calls/sticky notes and emotionally distant to now being completely out of range from her life and when he was around (which was very rarely) talk down to her, telling her hoe she was a freak and how he has a son and not a daughter. While this pained her, she thanked life itself for giving her absent parents making it easy for her not to deal with all the fighting and emotional distress.
She dealt with this for 5 fucking years, now being only 16 years old and she couldn't hide who she was anymore. She couldn't hide from her friends anymore, she couldn't hide from her neighbors, she couldn't hide from her school, she couldn't deal with hiding who she was from the world. She was coming out of her shell and into the world. She wanted this, hell she needed this.
That's when she decided to get dressed but not her in typical 'boy' attire. Searching through her closet, for something to wear, she remembered she had to meet up with Ed and Eddy later as they were had invited her to spend the weekend at Eddy's place since his parents were going to be gone until Monday. This had to be done she was going to tell them, the only two people she really had in this world that she was a girl. She wasn't 'Eddward Vincent' anymore she wanted that named completely erased from existence.
She was now 'Eddalyn Vincent' a 5'6 lean trans woman who was an honor student, a future woman of science, and her own person. This was her and her alone, she wasn't going to be a coward anymore and live the rest of her life hating herself in a body she did not ask for.
Pulling out her desired attire for the night, bringing it towards the mirror she had and placed it against her body seeing if it would look good for the night. She decided it was perfect for tonight, it made a statement yet wasn't too showing.
It was a sleeveless button up white blouse that was covered by a large off shoulder sweater that hugged her curves loosely, the sweater was over her knee length purple skirt that had her look more like a librarian than the average teen girl. Her legs were now being place leg by leg into some black stockings which if she were being honest, it made her legs look smooth and feminine, something like the stockings she would see in Eddy's 'Nude Gurls' magazines.
Brushing her hair into a low hanging ponytail as its length reaches close to her hips, the little curls at the end really made her feel like she should straighten it but decided it was not necessary. Putting on her beanie to finish her look along with her red converse shoes made her realize she was almost done. Heading towards the bathroom she applied a bit of her cherry player lip gloss, painting her thin pale lips with a glossy, glittery red lipstick.
She was done with her appearance, she checked her crossbody bag for all her things. Spare/sleep clothes checked, wallet checked, 'Sciences and Discoveries' magazine checked, black berry phone checked.
She had everything she needed for the night, all she had to do was walk over, knock on the door and tell them how their childhood best friend who they always known to be a boy decide to transition into a woman, and see where it goes from there.
'Oh dear...' She thought to herself as she started to bite her nails anxiously as her legs began to shake. This wasn't going to be easy, and she tried to produce every excuse to keep her from going or to distract her. But she got nothing, realizing that she had no other option she had to go over.
Going through her back door, hoping to escape possible on sighters and neighbors, she hurried on over swiftly opening Eddy's gate into his backyard, exhaling a breath of relief knowing that no one saw her, and that the street happened to be empty with no one around. Heading towards Eddy's back door leading into his bedroom she could smell the smoke of marijuana being burned and hearing muffled voices of laughter and talking.
"Look at me Eddy, I'm a unicorn!"
"Put that the fuck down Lumpy! You're gonna break the damn bong!"
"Awww but Eddy it won't break since it's made with magic."
"No, it's not dumbass."
She smiled to herself staring at the door hearing them argue over the usage of a bong which wasn't something she usually engaged in at all being that marijuana was a drug and illegal. '
'Doing drugs is bad after all since it can lead to a life of crime'
Knocking on the door, she could hear them muffling as it got quiet for a moment.
"Who's there?" Eddy hollered through the door.
"Salutations Eddy, why it is me, your invitation to come over tonight at eight seems to be what I was required to come and arrive at."
"Oh sock head, yeah just come on it the doors unlocked."
She took a deep breath as she waited to form the words to break this down to them. It left like she was being pushed down by a load of pressure as she kept thinking to herself the outcomes that will possibly happen.
'They might hate me'
'They might abandon me'
'They might beat me up'
'They might kill me'
Those thoughts were now clouding her mind like a hurricane in a dark rushing sea.
"You getting in here or what Double D?" She broke out of thought as she held the knob in her hand.
"Yes, I am coming in but, before I do I want to give you caution as I have something that is foremost needed to be discussed. It is something that will make you change in the way you perceive me and might even something deranged as some people see it. I just hope you will accept me and hopefully we can continue to grow with in our bonding together."
It was quiet for a moment until she entered the room to see Ed and Eddy looking at each other high as a kite, laughing not noticing her enter at first. It isn't until Ed looks at her that he looks at her with a flabbergasted look. With that Eddy soon turned his gaze to her, and had his jaw dropped as he started to try holding back his laughter.
"DUDE! Why are you dressed like a chick? Is this some kind of prank or joke cause this shit is fucking too good, oh my God this is too good!" Eddy was rolling around on his bed believing that Double D had dressed as a woman as a joke not really reading the room as Ed didn't laugh but rather punched his leg to get him to quit it.
"OW, WHAT THE FUCK DUDE!"
"Double D wants to say something Eddy and you need to listen and not be a jerk."
"Thank you, Ed.,"
Ed smiled at her happy with her praise and waiting for her to continue.
"I wanted to tell you both as you two are the only ones I have in my life and that I whole heartedly appreciate everything we've done together and shared growing up. I wanted to address this topic with you many times but never had the courage to be open about it with you all but, now I am. I feel like I must tell you both, because I cannot live in a world where I must hide myself from the two people who complete me and make me feel whole. So that is why I am here today, dressed in the clothes I see fitting for myself and where I stand to tell you that I am a woman. I identify as a woman and am a woman. And I love you both enough to tell you this and hope this doesn't ruin anything." She's trying to hold herself together but the streams of tears pouring out of her eyes is making it impossible for her to control herself. These waves of unknowing emotions flood her head not knowing if she should be happy, sad, terrified or all those in between.
She soon stops as she is now picked up by her raggedly looking friend Ed who holds her in a tight hug as he himself is trying not to cry as he is upset knowing that she was in distress.
"Don't cry Double D! I love you no matter what! It don't matter if you are boy or girl or alien monster, you are Double D and Double D is all I need to know to love you!" Ed's words while innocent and childish hit home for Eddalyn as she hugged him back nodding in happiness, knowing that her friend Ed was supporting of her, rather he understood or not of what she was talking about.
"So like you're actually a chick now, LIKE an ACTUAL chick?"
Eddalyn nodded leaving Ed's hug as she went up to her wide shaped tall friend who surprising grew an astonishing height of 6'1, however he still had some chub to him being on the heavy side and all. It made him intimated looking and even gave him a rep of someone not to mess with while still an outcast just not harshed as much.
"Yes Eddy, I identify as a woman now. My name isn't Eddward anymore it's Eddalyn, with two D's so that we can all still be the Ed's together."
"Oh okay... I mean I'm cool with it and all just didn't expect you to you know... Never mind either way were the Three Ed's and we stick together no matter what, we take names and kick ass together. We're ride and dies! And you know what I'm with you on this no matter what so if anyone messes with you they mess with Big Eddy and Ed, cuz we stick together no matter what. Got it sockhead!"
His words made her all the more happier as she realized she never had to hide herself from her closest friends as they were with her completely. This feeling just overpowered her causing her to jump into Eddy's arms embracing him as she tearfully laughed into him, leading to Ed joining in pulling them in a tight hug as he giggled with glee.
"I'm SO happy we are friends."
"Yeah, yeah lumpy but us down we already had a chick flick moment so put us down before you crush us to death."
"Okay Eddy!"
"So you're Eddalyn now?"
"Yes, that is correct Eddy."
"And you are a chick now, like a full-on chick?"
"Correct."
"So like can we still call you Double D or no? Cuz I'm use to calling you that and I don't wanna offend a chick by calling her a name I use to call my friend back when he- I mean she or he- she I don't even know. I guess what I'm saying is can we call you Double D or no?"
"Why of course you can still call be Double D, after all my name Eddalyn has two D's in it as well, one might say I'm use to having two D's." This made Eddy blush as he took that last comment in a wrong meaning as he couldn't help but think of it as a dirty joke. Clearly it went over Eddalyn's head which just made him feel worse now thinking about his now female friend in that way.
After the whole ordeal, the three decided to watch a movie on Eddy's TV, it was one of Ed's many monster movie collections and was rated R. "The Rack of Lambs" as it was called, it was some horror movie about killer butcher cannibals after a bunch of high school kids, the movie was clearly made in the 80s as the jokes and references went over some of their heads. As the night continued the two talked and discussed the upcoming school year, Double D telling them how she wanted to go to school as Eddalyn instead of Eddward which both agreed to and told her that they would be around her the whole time just to make sure there wasn't any issues or any heads that needed bashing in. It was wonderful, absolutely wonderful with how the night was going.
"Hey Double D?"
"Yes Eddy?"
"Since you're a girl now do you plan to get boobs in the future?"
While an inappropriate question to ask, she knew it was just his curiosity and nothing personal or insulting. She knew Eddy wasn't low like that and knew he actually meant it in a way of trying to understand her situation.
"Well actually Eddy I've thought about doing after graduating high school, since I believe I am too young to ask for breast implants, but they are something that I look forward to in the future, why do you ask?"
"Well, you know, if you get tits you should get Double D's. Since you know it'll make sense with you being Double D. I mean why not stick with the title right?"
"Eddy! How disgusting of you to bring up my future breast size as a sick humorous joke! It isn't funny you perverted hooligan!"
"Aww come on it's funny, I mean dude or chick I'm still gonna find a way to be an ass to you sock head."
"I guess some things never change..." She smiled off resuming back to the movie as Eddy moved his gaze back and forth between the screen and her.
This was all just the beginning of Eddalyn's life and who knows what'll happen when she resumes her junior year of highscool.
