Author's Note: As a forewarning, I have never played any of the Final Fantasy Games because I have very little money to spend on consoles or a good computer. Thus, this is mostly a flippant, non serious fanfic including ridiculous conversations, a heavy dose of Crack Treated Seriously, and good old fashioned fun because I was bored and needed something to daydream about.
Shinra Tower, President's office
"I don't know what just happened, but I blame the Disaster Twins," Lazard said after a moment, his bottle of premium Costa del Sol vodka swinging up to his mouth.
"Not every instance of strange, world ending events are the Crescent twin's doing, Lazard," Rufus dryly chided, side-eying his half-brother, "And stop drinking, I'm not giving you my liver. Not even a Mastered Curaga can cure liver disease."
"Yo, what the fuck?" The other Reno blinked at the sight of a man who was supposed to be long gone, and a younger version of Rufus Shinra.
Similarly, the older Rufus also seemed to be lost for words.
"Reno. Another me," Rufus greeted as if this was normal, the younger blonde man appearing unphased, making a half assed wave. "You're staring. Now, what would Father say?"
"That asshole could shove his words up his very dead ass, Rufus. I'll call General Crescent," Lazard retorted, chucking the bottle in the recycle bin, "If Sephiroth's twins really are the cause, he'll know. Ifrit damn me, I need more vodka."
"I'll do it, and you don't need to drink more, brother," Rufus interrupted, "Knowing him, Cloud will steal his PHS from his hands when I call. Our half-brother is the definition of impertinent, which is undoubtedly his most…charming trait."
"Tsk, as if your Disaster Turk would kill him on your order for being rude," Lazard retorted, "Even Ghost would think that'd be overkill. Not to mention, Cloud is funny as hell, it'd be a shame to lose him."
"Shinra's Ghost has fickle loyalties. However, he is one of our best operatives. He goes where his twin does, and in the meantime, both work with Shinra," Rufus said back, before picking up his PHS to make the call.
"You mean until they think we're harming the planet, you mean," the older blonde snidely bit back.
"Ghost and Commander Crescent are nothing but upfront. We won't find a sword lodged in our backs with those two."
Shinra Tower, Turk's Floor
"Yo, what the fuck?! Where'd they come from?!" Reno blurted out, once he'd realized that there were actually two Rudes instead of one, and another Tseng and Elena, and most surprisingly, Veld. Surprising, because their Veld had retired to be with his family.
"No idea, partner," Rude muttered, "Likely something to do with Ghost."
"Seriously?! Those two gotta stop playing in the Lifestream, ya think? This is so weird, yo," Reno complained, "Hey, that version of ya looks younger! And the Bossman, yo! Hey, do ya think Ghost'll come if I ask him?"
"With both Commander Crescent and Ghost, anything can happen," Tseng dryly added, sizing up his counterpart with a cool gaze, "Aridai doesn't answer to his name when he's off the clock. I'll call the Commander and see what's going on from The Disaster Twins themselves."
"Yeah, good idea! Oh, and Yazoo's still in the office, isn't he? Might also be the Trouble Triplets involved too." Reno excitedly took off, almost sprinting out of the office.
Shinra Science Department
Lucrecia barely blinked when a strange version of her husband popped out of thin air, since she knew her husband was still in Wutai.
"Why on Gaia are you dressed like a vagrant?" she asked, judging the strange Vincent with a critical eye.
Her assistant, a lovely young woman in her mid-twenties, squeaked at the sudden appearance of the man, backpedaling into a nearby wall.
"Doctor Crescent?" the other version of her husband said, in an almost strangled voice.
"Science Director Valentine, actually," the brunette corrected, "I am hoping this is my grandchildren's doing, for once, and not my idiot son messing around with the Lifestream again."
"Uuuuh—um, should I call security?" the assistant, Yūna, floundered.
"Don't bother, if he wanted us dead, we'd be dead," Lucrecia rolled her eyes, "The Disaster Twins better know what's going on. I'll call my husband."
Unlocking her personal PDA, the director dialed for her husband.
"Lu? This is an odd time to call," Vincent's voice came over the earpiece.
"Vincent, get your butt over here. I can practically feel the headache coming on. Bring Yuffie with you or you'll never hear the end of it."
