Summary: Ariana files for Sephiroth's residency with her Father and Uncle, and Ariana is a Certified Turk Botherer.
With the heavier conversation done, Cloud snapped his fingers to get Ariana's attention.
"Hey, Disaster SOLDIER."
"Hm? What is it, Uncle?"
"Guess what your Father did when you were in a coma."
"Do I have to dig another ditch to hide a body? Lazard got so mad after we put that awful catcaller in the garden. He turned a little purple."
"No murder this time, unfortunately. No, he just jumped out of Seventh Heaven's second floor window to escape social interaction. I think the other world's AVALANCHE spooked him."
"Really? It reminds me of the time he did that when Genesis wanted to make a Loveless book club last year. Pity the turnout was poor. Pics or it didn't happen."
"As if I would let him without getting evidence. I'll do you one better; I have a video."
Ariana's eyebrows shot up, "Really?! Good, I would've cut your head off if you didn't."
"Little Dove, why."
"I like seeing Father being made uncomfortable by people in general. Really butters my eggroll. Speaking about them, I haven't had one in ages."
"You're a sadist."
"Thank you, that is the highest compliment I've ever received. Nay, I will swoon in gratitude."
"Uh huh, sure."
"I feel a verse coming up. The arrow has left the bow of the Goddess. My soul, corrupted by vengeance, hath endured torment to find the end of the journey. In my own salvation, and your eternal slumber."
"Nice. Now, let me pull the vid up…" Cloud fiddled with his PHS, and Ariana was almost bouncing with each step as she rounded behind Cloud, her pupils dilated fully when he started the clip.
"Hah! And there's the other you with the most adorable expression on his little face! I just want to stab him."
"Little Dove, you can't just stab people."
"Uncle, I know at least 40 places and ways to stab people without killing them. I've had a lot of practice in Wutai."
"Sometimes you say the scariest things in the most laid-back ways."
"It's a talent. Dad says that it's one of Father's awful personality traits that is part of nature and not nurture."
"Seph does always make mundane sentences sound like ways he'd try to kill you."
"Cloud, I don't know how to tell you this, but Father is very adept at murdering people in mundane ways. Some of them I recommended to him when I wasn't even in the SOLDIER program."
"Wait, were you the one who told him he could rip someone's liver out by hand?! Ariana!"
"What? I was a very imaginative child, what with being a lab rat, thank you very much. And I was the one who worked a guillotine in my plan to kill Scarlet, so that's par for the course."
"Of fucking course you told him to use the guillotine. You are so godsdamn extra."
"I aim to please."
"Oh, and while you're here, Yaz wants you to sign off the inventory of the Coffee Committee," Cloud brought up, handing over a form to the younger woman.
"Hm? Oh yeah, Angeal said something about that. At least Yaz is the conscientious sort of person," she hummed, scanning the page.
"Yuffie still maintains the supply of Wutaian coffee, right? At least she grew up a little from her 'Treasure Princess' days," Ariana muttered to herself, before grabbing a pen from the desk and signing the paper with a flourish, "Oh, and Vincent is still on the Plate, right? I gotta talk to him about Shinra-Wutai relations."
"He's visiting Lucrecia. You should probably drop in if you want to catch him at a good time," Cloud answered.
"Yeah…alright, I'm going to bother Tseng, then Lazard. I bet your older half-brother is just dying inside," Ariana put down the form, "Sometimes, what we need is an 'I'm back on my bullshit' tee-shirt. My twin can market it, he's great at manipulating consumers."
"Hey, didn't he say he didn't want to see you for the rest of the day? You might want to write that down," Cloud snorted, "You really got to stop teasing him about his cold feet with his First Sight. One of these days he's going to prank you as payback."
"If he tries that, I'm using the bond to recite Loveless in every single language I know on loop, and he'll want to rip his own brain out," a smirk played on Ariana's lips, "Hey, doesn't that sound fun?"
"Do you know you're terrifying? He'd hate that."
"That's why it's so devious! A perfect way to drive my brother nuts! It's a good thing I hold the brain cell between us," the woman gleefully laughed.
"Do you?" Cloud raised an eyebrow, "Sometimes I'm not sure which one of you is the smart one."
"Don't start a fight you can't win, Mr. 'I'm gonna jump into Seph's arms while he's carrying Angeal's pasta and waste food'? Father had to save you from me killing you!"
Ariana's normally pale face was starting to get flushed with anger, "I'm surprised he didn't try killing you himself! He loves Angeal's pasta!" Her fingers flexed as if she was going to summon her Orion and behead him.
"Whooooooa there, Ana, calm down, it's not a big deal. I said I was sorry, alright?!" Cloud held his arms up in a helpless 'please don't kill me' manner, "It was a long time ago!"
"Hardly! It was exactly 24 days, 7 hours, and 23 seconds ago," the silver haired woman hissed angrily, before taking a deep breath, and going 'hmph!' with her nose in the air, crossing her arms.
"Okay fine, your Squad's weapons budget will be increased by 100,000 gil. I'll convince Rufus somehow."
"As you should. My men try their hardest, as you know, and after Genesis of all people took over my classes, they also need therapy. Miller was nearly beside himself; I could hear tears under that helmet of his."
"I'll have Seph make a note of that. Gen doesn't work in halves, too bad, really," Cloud sighed.
"I'm going to kick Dad's ass later. Tortu—er—training the Third Battalion is my job, not his. They're mine."
"And my husband's where you get the possessive homicidal feelings from, got it," the blonde rolled his eyes, "Go bother Tseng, I still got work to do. If he asks, you have my blessing."
"Yeah, good idea! We've been putting off seeing the Turks for too long, Sephiroth, let's go."
Ariana picked up the Tsurugi, leaning it back against the wall, before pushing her bangs back and walking to the door.
"Bye, Uncle! And I expect the budget increase in writing, or I'm cutting your dick off!"
"Ana, stop being so gross at work!" Cloud called out to his leaving guests, "Seriously, stop. Seph's going to complain to me that I'm a bad influence!"
"Haha, fuck you! You are a bad influence!"
"Language!"
The door closed with a soft click, Ariana giggling into her hand.
"Good old Uncle Cloud. Granted, he's not my actual uncle, but I already have three male parents," she put her hands behind her head, "And he's technically older than me in spirit, but not that much more."
The SOLDIER First grinned at Sephiroth, her eyes bright with mirth, "He grew up so much! Back then, he was like a twig! A short, 5'3" twig!"
Floor 94
"Tssssseeeeennnnnggggg!" Ariana called out, once they'd passed the sound dampening stairwell door, "Guess what! I'm back on my bullshit!"
The man himself appeared at a door a few doors down from where they stood, an exasperated expression on his face.
"Commander Crescent, do not go around yelling. People are still working," the black haired man sighed at her.
"Good afternoon, Tseng," the SOLDIER grinned at him, "If I cannot find chaos I must create it."
Tseng gave Ariana a flat, deadpan expression, looking tired.
"Please don't flaunt your disaster status," he requests, "Your brother came by, with all the hallmarks of barely holding onto his temper."
Ariana rolled her eyes, "Psh, I've heard the rumors that me and my siblings are insane, it's not something new to me. And my brother's just a sensitive soul. And don't even bother asking what set him off."
"Hm. Stop standing around, we'll speak in Conference Room 2. Bring your guest." Tseng beckoned the SOLDIER over to a door that had a very obvious 2 on it.
Floor 94-Conference Room 2
Tseng sat down at the large table at the back of the room, the giant tv displaying a screensaver.
"Director Strife informed me of your arrival," Tseng starts, while Ariana directs Sephiroth to sit at the conference table and snags her own chair.
"I figured. Anyway, I'm letting you know that Alpha-1's Sephiroth will be staying with my Father and Uncle," the woman sprawled on the chair, head propped up on her hand.
"Yes, your Uncle mentioned that as well. I'm assuming you have some sort of plan to deal with the Merge? I haven't had the time to talk to you since it occurred."
Ariana just sent an unimpressed eyebrow raise at him. "Of course I do, who do you think I am? I'm the Disaster Twin That Plans, remember?"
"Right, I should've known," Tseng looks very close to rolling his eyes.
"Father's already busy as is, what with the likelihood that the creatures of the other Gaia have been brought here as well," Ariana rolled her wrist in an 'isn't it obvious' motion, "The First, Second, and Third Battalions will need to increase their training. I can sense the imbalance every step I take, and it's making my feathers itch."
"Ghost mentioned that as well. With your statuses as Gaia's human WEAPONs, both of you will be the litmus test."
"Oh, goodie," Ariana sarcastically clapped, "Why can't we have any of the Triplets on the case?"
"Only Yazoo is under Shinra's direct employ," Tseng reminded her, "Kadaj is hardly the type to follow orders without accidentally killing someone, and Loz just wants to tend to his plant nursery."
Ariana dipped her head back, sighing loudly, "I have a feeling that my Battalion still needs to kick their butts into gear. Considering the last battle I had recently, some of them nearly died. I can't be everywhere at once. Not even my brother can do that much."
The woman crossed her arms, before her gaze drifted to Sephiroth.
"Hey, Sephiroth, would you be willing to assist me with quelling any monster attacks? The agreement we already had will still be fulfilled, just with a little more monster killing." Ariana got up, already altering her plans mentally, "You'll get paid, of course, plus, it'll help Alpha-1's people be a little less wary of you. And it's a great stress reliever, I recommend it 10 out of 10."
"What I had done was unforgivable. I doubt they would ever see me as anything more than the Calamity that had taken their home," the silver haired man said, talking for the first time since greeting the taller Cloud nearly an hour ago.
"Yeah, you did do a lot of bad shit," Ariana scratched at her chin, "I mean, my Father isn't the type to mope around, you know? Surely, if you wanna make it up to them, there's no denying that it'd help raise public opinion of you. We Crescents are the Darlings of Midgar, after all, and the sheer amount of new monsters transferred from Alpha-1 still needs to be monitored. My Father's being stretched thin with the First Battalion, and Genesis and Angeal have their own departments to deal with. Zack's got his hands full with the Second Battalion, and I gotta fix up the Third Battalion. And it'll give you something to do unless you don't want to bother with Shinra. You don't really have to, you can get a degree in something if you want."
"Perhaps, you can rally Alpha-1's AVALANCHE to assist you, Commander Crescent," Tseng brought up, and the green eyed woman gave a disbelieving laugh.
"Me? Have you seen how they kept looking at me like I was going to stab them the moment their backs were turned?" Ariana clicked her tongue, "Sic the Puppy on them. I want to see what makes that other, shorter Cloud tick. Or send Aerith after him, I know the face of a heartbroken man. "
"Aerith is not going near them," Tseng denied almost automatically, "I do not trust any of the AVALANCHE members from Alpha-1. To put her amidst several unknown variables would be foolish."
"As if I am not taking a risk, Tseng? I might be a little insane, but it doesn't change the fact we have to trust them at some level," Ariana looked over to the Turk, her head tilting, before she walked over to him.
"You look exhausted," the woman leaned in, "Why don't you let Ghost handle things? He's your Third for a reason, he's been doing it since Veld left. You really should take a rest, don't you think?"
Ariana could see how Tseng was truly exhausted, picking up all the tells she'd noticed. He was wearing concealer to hide the bags under his eyes, his fingers had barely stopped moving. There was also something with the older man's voice that spoke volumes of how fatigued he really was. She made sure to catch his gaze, her eyes openly portraying her concern.
Tseng pursed his lips, giving her a considering look.
"When is your medical leave over?"
"My brother said not until Thursday. Then I have to clean up the mess Dad made of my SOLDIERs, he traumatized them again with Firaga. Good thing Seconds have full benefits," Ariana shrugged, leaning back once more, "Why?"
"When you aren't training your Battalion, I expect you to fill in Ghost's position when I take leave next week," Tseng ordered (more or less).
A smirk played at the woman's lips, "Does it mean I get to boss around Reno?"
"Within reason."
"I'm convinced, I'm in." Ariana did a manic cackle that would make any sane person's danger senses perk up.
"Terrifying," Tseng's bland words only had the younger woman crack a grin, "I've sent in the paperwork that will send gil through direct deposit to your Father and Cloud's joint account. Tell your father that the relief funds will arrive by the end of the week."
"Nice. Thanks, Tseng," Ariana flashed a genuine smile this time, not her manic smirks, "So, I was wondering, what'd you think of the other version of you and Rufus, hm?"
"He's not as naïve as I was at that age," Tseng said flatly, "And Rufus' double is a few years older than ours."
"Really? I'd never guess that. Well, to both. I want to know all the details," a lascivious expression crossed the SOLDIER's face, intently watching Tseng's reaction, which was a pause in typing and a crease in his brow.
"Ask them yourself."
Tseng froze as Ariana's face absolutely lit up.
"Is that permission?!" she nearly squealed, and there was panic in the man's dark eyes.
"Don't you dare."
"Hey, Sephiroth, does that sound like permission to you?" Ariana directed the question to the man sitting at the conference table.
"It does."
"Oh, by the Goddess, Tseng, that's two against one, clearly, you're giving me permission to bother the Alpha-1 people. How fun! And very generous," Ariana's shiteating grin only grew, "Hey, why don't you watch Sephiroth for a while, and I'll go bother your double."
Tseng's eyes flickered from Sephiroth to Ariana, considering his options, "You better know what you're doing."
"It'll be fine. I can feel it from the back of my mind. And this guy gave his word that he's not exactly in the mood to kill us all, given that we're giving him a chance," the woman shrugged, tapping her temple, "Nothing will happen. And if anything does happen, just call for me. I'll come, Tseng, you can count on me! There is no hate, only joy, for you are loved by the Goddess!"
Ariana turned around and left abruptly, red streaked silver hair flicking out behind her.
The Turk could only stare as the SOLDIER left, blinking slowly as the realization of what he just said crashed over him.
Tseng put his head on his hands. "Oh gods, what have I unleashed?"
Ghost uncloaked from his Barrier, his green eyes opening. He had been standing there since his sister had arrived on the Turk's floor, leaning against the wall listening as his sister rambled.
"I'll keep her reined in, Bossman," he muttered comfortingly to the older man, "My sister takes every job she has seriously. Considering she is the one that plans, and I am the one who acts, her destruction will be kept to a minimum. The worst she can do is rig up the intercom system to read out Loveless periodically."
"Wouldn't that be the best case scenario? I would define 'worst case' ending with the building smoldering down into embers," Tseng dryly countered, looking up at his subordinate.
"Falling into the Lifestream didn't do her any good. I'd wager she'd lost most of her filter. She was much more astute when it came to tact."
"Remember to seek out whoever is spreading the rumors that you and all of your siblings are insane. If your twin cared more about how others see her, there would be blood spilled."
"I'm surprised she's even heard of them. It must be either the newer recruits or the SOLDIER Third Classes, she strikes fear in the First and Second Battalion, and her own squad adores her," Ghost looked off to the side, uncrossing his arms when his eyes met Sephiroth's.
The younger man narrowed his eyes, before making the classic 'I'm watching you' gesture, which was answered by Sephiroth inclining his head.
