A/N: We've got a lot of ground to cover here. This is the longest chapter so far and probably the longest of the whole story!
Elliot was about 97 percent sure he was going to puke all over his brand new blue three-piece suit and the brown shoes he'd spent too much time shining up last night for the event tonight. Olivia had cut out about two hours ago to go up to the West Wing to get ready. Amanda kept ducking in and out to help with her makeup. Jet begrudgingly agreed to do Olivia's hair, but Elliot was pretty sure she was secretly thrilled to be a part of it all, even if she wouldn't show it.
He'd snuck down to the gym about a half an hour ago to get himself ready, and it was taking everything in him not to get in some boxing practice to push out some of this nervous energy.
"Tonight's the night man," a voice said from the doorway.
Elliot turned around to see Fin nodding and rubbing his hands together.
"You look like you just ate bad fish," Fin said, stepping into the gym. "What's wrong?"
"I'm not sure I can do this," Elliot admitted.
"What, take a pretty girl to a work function?" Fin asked.
"I haven't really done anything like this since Kathy and I split," Elliot said. "I went to dinner once or twice with this girl my 95 year old neighbor tried to set me up with, his granddaughter, but that was months ago and it didn't work out."
"You gotta take a chance on this," Fin said. "There's gonna be good food, music, dancing."
"And the Brass," Elliot said. "The Brass who hate me. Think I'm a dirty cop. What's that going to do to her reputation, huh? Being there with me, on my arm?"
"I think if she gave a damn about her reputation she wouldn't even be at the 3-7 in the first place," Fin said. "Much less would have agreed to go with you to this shindig."
"I guess so," Elliot said.
"Besides, a fancy night like tonight is the perfect time to confess your love to her," Fin said.
"My what?" Elliot said, feeling his eyes practically bulge from their sockets.
"What did Munch tell you about lying to your detectives?" Fin said. "We all see it. Again, I swear Liv is the only one who doesn't."
"I'm not in love with her," Elliot mumbled. "Haven't known her long enough for that."
"Carisi said when you know you know," Fin said. "And we all know he's been in love with Amanda since day one."
"That's true," Elliot muttered.
"Look, you don't owe me an explanation," Fin said. "Just answer me one thing. You care about her, don't you?"
Elliot gave a deep sigh.
"More than anything," he said.
"Well, then I think you gotta show her," Fin said. "In whatever way you feel comfortable, but in a way that's going to make her see it. She's a little stubborn."
"A little?" Elliot scoffed.
Both men were laughing when Munch stepped into the doorway.
"I've been informed by the little tech wizard that your princess awaits," Munch said.
"Now or never, man," Fin said.
Elliot cracked his neck, squared his shoulders, and marched out of the gym.
Meanwhile, Olivia, Amanda, and Jet had spent two hours upstairs getting Olivia ready for the big night.
She'd splurged yesterday on a beautiful yellow silk floor length gown. The one shoulder number had a slit up to the left thigh and a loose belt to accentuate her waist. The flowy skirt moved with her as she turned tto check it from each angle. Her silver open-toed pumps made her just a bit taller, and she admired the job Jet did on her hair, a half-up half down do, curled and framing her face and her neck.
"You don't think it's too much?" Olivia asked, leaning closer to the mirror and rubbing in a little of the blush Amanda applied to her cheeks. She'd gone for neutrals, save for the smokey eye.
"Too much what?" Amanda asked.
"Just… too much," Olivia said. "For the event. Over the top. Maybe I should have picked something black or more understated."
"I think you look gorgeous," Jet said. "It suits you."
"What are you so worried about, Liv?" Amanda asked.
"This whole thing," Olivia said with a sigh. "Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to go. I mean all the Brass will be there and McGrath already hates my guts and apparently Elliot's too."
Amanda and Jet nodded.
"And I mean we've only been working together for a few months," Olivia said. "We hated each other not that long ago."
"Hated one another or were instantly attracted to one another and didn't know what to do about it so you lashed out at each other because you couldn't bang it out like you wanted to?" Amanda asked.
"Rollins!" Olivia said, her mouth falling open into a perfectly glossed "O."
"Blondie has a point," Jet said. "The air is liked electric charged when you're in the same room."
"It's not," Olivia protested. "Just because he's acting more human doesn't mean…"
"Yeah, it does mean he's interested, Liv," Amanda said. "He has a soft side, sure. We've seen glimpses of it, he's done nice things for us. But the way he is with you? It's different."
"But that doesn't mean he's attracted to me," Olivia said. "It doesn't mean there's anything else there."
"Some things are just inevitable," Amanda said. "What's that line from that one song?"
"Certain as the sun rising in the east," Jet supplied.
"Yeah, that's it," Amanda said. "There are some things you just know. And I know he loves you and you love him back."
"I would not call it love," Olivia said. "Nothing like what you and Carisi have."
That caused Amanda to swallow hard.
"I'm a detective too, remember," Olivia said.
"This isn't about me or Carisi," Amanda said. "It's about you and Elliot."
"It's not love," Olivia said firmly.
"Do you at least care about him?" Amanda asked.
"Of course," Olivia said. "He's…. He's a good man."
"Then maybe it's time he knew you felt that way," Amanda said.
Olivia sighed again and bowed her head.
"I'll go let the old conspiracy theorist know you're ready," Jet said, leaving the alcove.
"You are ready, aren't you?" Amanda asked.
"As ready as I can be," Olivia said.
Elliot didn't remember the last time he'd been so nervous. Probably the day the twins were born. Maybe the day of his IAB meeting to decide whether he got to stay on the force or not. But this feeling, even through nerves, was entirely different. Amanda descended the stairs from the West Wing and struck a pose for Carisi who was waiting at the bottom with a camera.
"She'll be down in a sec," Amanda said.
They heard the rustling of the curtain in the alcove, and there she was at the top of the grand staircase, a vision in gold. Elliot felt his mouth grow dry and his pants grow tighter. It took nearly everything in him not to let out a groan as she put one long leg in front of the other and he noticed the thigh-high split in the dress.
"Wow, Olivia," Carisi said from behind the camera as he snapped pictures of her descent. "You look incredible."
"Thank you, Sonny," she said.
"He's right Liv," Fin said. "Watch out Brass. Baby girl is coming in hot."
Elliot bit his tongue so he didn't agree with Fin's statement too loudly.
Then she was striding toward him and in a blink they were in the same space.
"Hi," Olivia said shyly, barely meeting his eyes.
"Hi," Elliot whispered back.
"You clean up nice," she said. "Still got that beard though, huh?"
"You don't like it?" Elliot asked.
"I do," she said. "Just wonder what you might look like without it sometimes."
"They're right, you know," Elliot said. "You do look beautiful tonight. Not that you don't normally, it's just that, yellow really suits you and…"
"You're rambling," she said with a chuckle.
Slowly, Elliot reached into his suit pocket and pulled out a box.
"I know flowers are customary for something like this, but with your allergies I thought it might be better to skip it," he said.
"Thank you for thinking of that," she said.
"So I got you a little something else instead," Elliot said, extending the small box to Liv.
"Elliot you really didn't have to," Olivia said.
"Just open it," he urged.
She cracked the lid to see a little gold necklace nestled inside. It was a simple bar on a simple chain and the charm read "Fearless." It matched her dress and the other jewlery she was wearing tonight.
"Elliot," Olivia said, her voice breathy.
"I saw it when I took Kathleen shopping on Tuesday," Elliot said. "And it reminded me of you. Since you're not wearing a necklace tonight, you want to put it on?"
"Will you clasp it for me?" Olivia asked and Elliot nodded.
Slowly, because he fumbled a few times with the closure, he got the chain settled around her neck and locked in place. When she turned back around to face him she was clutching the charm in her palm.
"You about ready to head out? I'll bring the truck around," Elliot said.
"Yeah, I'm ready," Olivia said, smiling at him.
He grinned right back at her as he led her to the precinct front doors.
If either of them turned around they would have seen the knowing glances passing back and forth among the squad.
The night had been going rather well. They were seated at the same table with Seargent Ayanna Bell and her wife Denise. Olivia didn't know them all that well but Ayanna was funny and kind, and if she knew anything about Elliot's transgressions or Liv's missteps, she didn't bring them up over dinner or drinks.
The dancefloor had been open for a while, but Elliot was a few whiskeys in before he had the courage to ask her to take a spin with him to some Celine Dion song from the 90s she vaguely recognized.
"Do you dance, Liv?" he asked, fiddling with the end of his napkin.
"I've been known to a time or two, yeah," she said.
"If I promise to try not to step on your toes, you wanna take a stab at it?" Elliot asked. "With me?"
It was adorable really how shy he seemed to be about asking her for this totally normal thing everyone else in the room seemed to be doing.
"I'd love to," she said.
Elliot's smile grew wide and he stood from his chair, extending his hand, which Olivia took. Then he led her to an open spot on the floor.
The dance started out innocent enough, one hand on his shoulder, one on her hip, the other two clasped together at their sides. Olivia realized how easy this was, dancing and not really talking. She didn't feel like she had to fill the void, just because they were face to face, just because maybe other people would have taken this time to talk to one another. But she was enjoying the silence, and Elliot seemed to be too.
She took a moment to study his face. The steep slope of his nose, the icyness of his eyes, his beard and of course the scar that she now knew the story behind. It occurred to her how much she liked looking at his face. How she didn't want to stop looking at it. How she wanted to run her hands and her lips across it and see what it would be like to hear him moan in her ear.
But this wasn't the place for that.
So instead, Olivia stepped further into his embrace, sliding her arm around his back, her hand finding the base of his neck, and leaning her head on his shoulder. It didn't give hum much of a choice but to slide his arm around her, hand at her lower back, just above her ass, and pull her closer to him.
She could smell his cologne with her face buried in his neck, and something else that was him entirely. The whiskey on his breath, the cinnamon of the gum he'd been popping earlier. The faint scent of Old Spice probably making its way up from his underarms. It smelled like him. It smelled like home, and Olivia felt her lips curling into a smile agains the curve where his neck met his shoulder.
When the sing ended she wasn't ready. She wanted to stay wrapped in Elliot's arms longer. As she pulled back she caught his eye, and it seemed he wasn't quite ready for the moment to end either.
"I'm not really up for going back to the table," he said in almost a whisper. "Wanna go out to the balcony?"
Olivia nodded and he threaded their fingers together again, gently leading her through the crowd to the double doors at the back of the venue and the balcony overlooking the city. Because it was a cool night, they were the only ones outside. Olivia felt herself shiver, wishing her coat wasn't inside, but she didn't have to think about it too long because Elliot was sliding his suit jacket over her shoulders within seconds.
"Thank you," she said, pulling it tighter around herself.
Elliot didn't answer, he just looked at her and smiled.
"Can I ask you something, Liv?" Elliot said.
Olivia's heart started to beat faster. What if Amanda has been right? Was she in love with Elliot? Was he going to make some kind of declaration to her here, on this balcony, while they were dressed to the nines and she was cuddled safe and warm in his suit jacket.
"Anything," Olivia said.
Elliot leaned against the balcony railing and cocked his head at her.
"Are you happy at the 3-7?" he asked.
Olivia closed her eyes and sighed. It wasn't a question she'd expected.
If you would have asked her months ago if she ever thought she could be happy working somewhere other than Special Victims, let alone a place like the 3-7, she likely would have laughed in your face. She never expected to get along with, much less fall for, Lieutenant Elliot Stabler.
But working with him, hell just being with him, did something to her. It made her feel more alive, more herself. Even moreso than helping victims. She loved the time she got to spend with the at risk youth in the library and the friendships she'd formed with the squad. And of course all the time she'd spent with Elliot working together to try to unravel his case. They weren't much closer than they had been, but the fact that they knew Stuckey and Donnelly were still hanging around out there somewhere made them feel like those goons were going to slip up sometime.
"Yes," she said, biting her lip.
"That didn't sound completely convincing," Elliot said. "What is it?"
"I like it a lot more than I ever expected," Olivia said. "I just… there are times I really miss my old squad. Captain Cragen, he was like a father to me."
She'd divulged to Elliot a few weeks ago how and why she ended up at SVU in the first place.
"I hate that McGrath made staying away from the SVU squad a term of my transfer," she admitted.
She saw Elliot bite down on the tip of his tongue and nod.
"I've got an idea," Elliot said. "Stay here."
About 10 minutes later Elliot returned to the balcony with Cragen in tow.
"What are you both doing?" she hissed. "McGrath is right inside."
"He said you couldn't talk to your old squad unless it was relevant to a case, right?" Elliot asked. "Well, we're still tracking down Donnelly, Lewis, and Stuckey, and that's still an open SVU case. So…"
Olivia smiled at Elliot and Cragen opened his arms to embrace her. She launched into them.
"I missed you," she said.
"I missed you too, kid," Cragen said.
When they pulled back she did have a serious and legitimate question to ask.
"Has there been any headway on the Lewis and Stuckey case?" Olivia asked. "We had a run in with Stuckey not too long ago."
"Actually there has been some activity," Cragen said. "The lawyer, girlfriend, whoever she is that got them out on bail? Her father was found shot dead in his home. The mother was raped and tortured, hung in the closet to die. Only reason someone found her is because a nosy neighbor saw a car in their driveway she didn't recognize and called the local cops."
"Was it…" Olivia asked.
"Yeah, we think it was Lewis," Cragen said. "But we don't have enough to pin it on him, again."
"How is he able to slip us every time?" Olivia asked.
"Did he say anything to you when you interviewed him that might give you a clue as to ways we could tie him to this, beyond knowing their daughter?" Cragen asked.
"I know I have some notes about his MO in my reports," Olivia said. "Some of the information Jefferies ran from ViCAP. They're somewhere at the 1-6, but I don't remember where I put them."
"That could go a long way in helping us nail the SOB," Cragen said.
"If only I could get back in there, help you with it," Olivia said.
"You can," Elliot said, placing a hand on her arm.
"But McGrath said…" Olivia started.
"I don't give a damn about McGrath," Elliot said. "I'll cover for you."
"But you're already on such thin ice with him and IAB," Olivia said.
"Liv, I don't care," Elliot said. "Lewis is pure evil and I'd rather have him off the street and lose my job than keep it and have him out there still running. I made this mistake once, I'm not going to make it again."
Olivia looked between Elliot and Cragen, tears stinging her eyes in a way she wish they weren't.
"Thank you for what you've done," Olivia said. "Everything you're about to do."
Instinctively, her hand reached for the charm of her new necklace.
"Wear that and think of me, would you?" Elliot whispered in a voice she hoped Cragen didn't hear.
Olivia nodded, placing a hand to his cheek. He leaned in to her touch, and just like that she was pushing his suit jacket into his hand and pulling away. She and Cragen snuck their way back through the ballroom, hiding from McGrath. He watched them until they slipped into the elevator and then he turned around to stare out at the city, because he didn't want the people in the ballroom to see him tearing up over a girl who wasn't even his to lose in the first place.
Just then, his cell phone rang and he fished it out of his pants pocket.
"Well, the master picks up on the first ring," Munch said. "You and Liv sneak out for a nightcap? I knew you still had some moves, even if Fin didn't agree with me."
"She's gone, John," Elliot said sadly.
"What do you mean gone?" Munch asked.
"I sent her back to the 1-6, to SVU," Elliot said. "It's where she belongs. It's what she was meant to do. Lewis… he did something else to someone else and her old Captain told her about it tonight. She could help them crack the case, get him off the street for good."
"What's going to happen when McGrath finds out?" Munch asked.
"If she catches Lewis, hopefully nothing to her," Elliot said. "And I was going to lose my shield anyway in a few weeks, so who cares if they take it a little early, huh."
Munch was silent for a long time.
"Why'd you do it?" he asked.
"I had to," Elliot said.
"But why?" Munch asked.
"Because I love her, okay John," Elliot grumbled into the phone. "I love her and I'm not going to be the one to force her to stay at the 3-7 where nothing happens just so I get to see her every day. She was born for this, saving people. I love her so I had to let her go."
Elliot didn't even give Munch a chance to respond before hanging up the phone.
"He did WHAT?" The squad yelled as Munch relayed the news.
"I'm sorry to say friends, but it's true," Munch said.
"She's leaving?" Carisi said, looking like someone kicked his puppy.
"But they were so close to solving his case," Fin said.
"After all this time he finally realized what he'd been missing," Amanda said. "Wasn't the case, wasn't his reputation, or even his shield. He just wanted somebody to love, and somebody to love him back."
"And now it's probably too late," Munch said.
The squad dejectedly separated and went back to their own desks to think about what could have been.
Across town, Dale Stuckey was cold as hell, hiding out in the alley near the 1-6 precinct. He'd been doing this for days, only taking short breaks to run inside to eat and catch a few hours of sleep. But tonight he got a little reward.
A squad car pulled up in front of the building quickly, and out stepped a bald man and a beautiful brunette in a stunning yellow dress.
"Oh, she's back," Stuckey said, pulling his cell phone from his back pocket. "Just like he said she'd be."
A/N: Olivia's dress is real. Google "Mariska Hargitay yellow dress" or "Mariska Hargitay 2008 Emmys" and you'll find it!
