I do not own anything, just my ideas.

Chapter 25

TOBIAS

I feel defeated, so defeated. I shouldn't feel this bad, because the good should outweigh the bad... But why do I feel like shit?

Zero, we were going into this game with zero losses. We nearly cruised through the post-season, and when we won the state semi-finals, everyone went crazy. For the past week, everyday, every minute, every second was dedicated to this game. And Tris was there the whole time.

She stayed and watched film with me; she went to the gym with me, more like I went to the gym with her. We push and help build each other to be the best we can be.

But it wasn't enough.

The team walks into the locker room with the score board reading 00:00, and the score is not in our favor. We are not the State Champions; we are the Runner Ups. I don't know what to do or what to say. The locker room is silent and so is the bus ride back to school.

When we get back, we are welcomed by applause from our friends and families. I look in the crowd for one person; the only person that can help make me feel better. But also the one person who I feel like I disappointed the most.

I get off the bus and immediately walk up to her and wrap her in my arms. It feels like home. As upset as I am, I feel a little bit of pressure release from me. I don't know if we will ever let go, I know it won't be me that will pull away first.

She reaches up on her tip-toes, and whispers, "Everyone's going to Marlene's, but if you don't want to, we don't have to go. We can go to my house, to the roof."

"I'd like that. Let's go there."

"Okay."

Tris walks up to Tori to tell her our plans, and then Tris walks back. "Tori has to go to one of the bars, but she's fine with us going back to the house."

We get into my car and drive to her house. It's not a long drive, but it is quiet. I have a feeling she has something to say, and I know she is the one to help cheer me up, but she's waiting. Or she is trying to find the right way to say it.

Walking up the stairs, I can tell there is something on her mind, but she doesn't say anything about it, and I don't know if she will. After spending enough time on the roof with Tris, the height doesn't bother me that much anymore. We sit down on a makeshift couch, and she is the first one to speak.

"I'm not going to pretend that I know what it's like to deal with what your dealing now, I've only seen what it's like on the other side of things. And it's not as great as you think. And I know you wanted it so bad."

"I did, and now that it has been slipped away right under my feet..."

"Tobias, it... it's just a piece of metal. I know it's more than that, and I know it meant a lot to you. But I'm telling you, it's not as cracked up as it seems."

"How do you know?" Of course I know how she knows, but I can't help but feel upset.

"I've seen the road to States, and what happens after; it's not as satisfying as you'd think."

"Does this have something to do with your brother?" I can see her mind thinking out what she wants to say. She moves herself right in front of me so she looks straight into my eyes.

"It's not about me and my past. Right now, it's about you. I guess I shouldn't be blowing the whole thing off, because it did mean a lot to you."

"It does... did mean a lot. But there are more important things in my life."

"That still doesn't mean that you're not upset, because you've worked so hard. You've gone undefeated, up until the very last game."

"And I should be proud of that, but it still feels disappointing."

"Just think about next year, there is still a chance to get that championship."

"Yeah, but we wanted it now, today. I wanted to prove all the hard work is worth it in the end."

"But it was worth it. Every second you spent working, it was a step closer to your goal. And if that goal was winning state, you have 364 days left to reach it."

I reach out and pull her into my lap, her body right on mine. "And will you be there with me?"

"I wouldn't be anywhere else." She kisses me. And I kiss her back.

I think I'm falling in love with her. But that's a lie. I don't think I'm falling in love with her, I think I am in love with her. I know I am in love with her. Since the day she walked into 21U and lost herself, she ceases to amaze me. She's my good-luck charm, the one person who has been to every game this year, stood in the crowd again tonight. She is part of reason I was there to begin with.

I want to call her mine, hold her hand forever. She supports me in a way I've never been. She makes me feel so strong, even when I feel weak. She consumes my every thought. Ever since I met her, there has been no one else worth thinking about.


"Now class, I know everyone is very excited for the trip." Ms. Reyes tries to say over the class. Everyone is jumping out of their chairs, and not because today is Hump Day. Early tomorrow morning we depart for New York. It's a long drive, but not many people mind because we have charter buses.

"Everyone take your seats, we still have to do stuff in class; this is not a study hall. Now, you all have worked very hard to prepare for the festival, and all the music sounds great. Since we've been rehearsing and I've been drilling you all to get the festival stuff done, we have missed some Talent Tuesday days. Since everyone is this class has gone, I will take volunteers."

No one raises their hand. I am about to, but I don't know if Tris would want that. Because she knows that if I'm going up there, so is she.

"Come one, people. It's Talent Wednesday! It doesn't have to be seasonal, anything that any of you have been working on."

I exchange a look with Tris, and I raise my hand. Ms. Reyes calls on me and I walk up to the front of the room with Tris timidly right behind me. Lately, when we've been alone, we will mess around on the piano or with a guitar. We found a piece that we both really love. I grab the guitar in the corner and grab a stool and place it next to the piano. Tris places herself in front of the ivory keys and begins to softly play.

I'm tired, I'm worn, my heart is heavy

From the work it takes to keep on breathing

I've made mistakes, I've let my hope fail

My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world

And I know that you can give me rest

So I cry out with all I have left

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life

And all that's dead inside can be reborn

Cause I'm worn

I know I need to life my eyes up, but I'm too weak

Life just won't let up

And I know that you can give me rest

So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win

Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life

And all that's dead inside can be reborn

Cause I'm worn

The room's air is filled with music, but after we finish, it is filled with applause.

"That was beautiful." Christina says. "We are going to own New York."

The glass agrees and cheers. Ms. Reyes somehow manages to calm us down, and Marlene volunteers to go next. She sings an acoustic version of Titanium, and it blows everyone away, again. Eventually, the bell rings, and I have to go to the next class.

After school, I find myself walking with Tris and Christina.

"Oh, I forgot to say something during class today." Christina says.

"What is it?"

"My aunt and uncle live in New York, and they said that a few of us can go over to their house and have dinner one night."

"I'm sure a home-cooked meal would be wonderful." Tris says.

"Great, I'll let them know. I'll see you both bright and early tomorrow morning." Christina says as she walks away.

I turn to Tris. "Tomorrow's the day. Are you okay?"

"I don't know. I guess it hasn't hit me yet, but when I see it, that will be when it sinks in."

"And then what?"

"And then I try to forget the bad... and make new memories."


Author's Note

The song in this chapter was "Worn" by Tenth Avenue North. This chapter was on the short side, I know. But I've already started the NYC chapter(s), so that should be good. I hope you feel a storm brewing. Please review!

Be brave, everyone!


QUOTES

1). You are more than a bird, more than a plane, and I know it's not easy. –Superman (It's Not Easy), song

2). Yes, in a dozen languages... oui... si... yes –High School Musical 3: Senior Year, movie

Congratulations to: Blue Abatar Spirit

There is one (song) quote in this chapter.