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Chapter 32

TOBIAS

"Rose is my daughter. The rape got me pregnant."

At first, it doesn't register. Like I knew it all along and she is simply relaying the message to the people of the court. But I didn't know about it. Tris, not for one second, implied that she...

A baby? She was... pregnant? How could I not have known? How could she not have told me? How could she not have trusted me?

I can't help but think the worst things, but I can't do that. I have to wait and hear what she has to say. But what can she say? After everything we've been through, everything we have told each other... She couldn't tell me about that.

Rose is my daughter. Rose... Rose... Rose! Something triggers in my mind, and a memory floods back.

She stretches out her legs, and the slight sliver of moonlight catches the reflection of a piece of metal along her ankle. I point to it, "What's that?"

Tris looks down but instead of hiding it away or trying to change the subject, she admires the chain wrapped around her skin. She pulls her leg back towards her and takes the anklet off. She holds it up so I can see it clearer. A silver rose dangles from a shining chain. Inside the rose is a small, simple pink gem.

She wears an anklet with a rose on it. Thinking about it, how could I not have seen it. She gave me hints: Tori gave it to me for my 16th birthday. The attack happened when she was 15. And that means Tori knew. Of course Tori knew.

And her 16th birthday was probably after the baby. The baby...

My head hurts from all this over thinking, and Tris is stepping down from the stand. She walks out, practically in a sprint. And she doesn't look at me. I get up and chase after her, but as soon as I step out of the court room, she is no where to be seen.

I walk down the hall, my eyes scanning everything. Then, as I pass the bathrooms, I hear someone getting sick inside. I knock slightly, whispering her name. There is no answer, but I didn't expect one.

After a little bit, there is a silence, then the sound of running water. And soon enough the bathroom door opens and she materializes in front of me.

"Tris..." but she doesn't give me a chance. It's not that she is shutting me out, she is shutting herself down. And it kills me. And I refuse to let her hide inside of herself.

"Just, say it."

"If you're implying I'm mad, then that is true... but I'm more hurt. How could you not have told me?"

"It's not that easy."

"It's also not that hard."

Her face goes hard. "You're right, it's not hard at all. Yeah, I was raped and it was my best friend's brother and no one believed me and on top of all that, I had to carry his child as a constant reminder of it all! You're right, that is so easy."

Tris slams against the wall and crumbles down. I can see the invisible walls beginning to form, and I refuse to let it happen again.

"Tris, I'm sorry. I just, I wish you would have trusted me enough to tell me."

"I did tell you."

"Along with a court room full of people."

She looks defeated, and I know putting her down will only make it worse. "I didn't mean to hurt you," she says. "I was afraid of your reaction."

I get down next to her. "You think I'll run away that easily? Let me tell you one thing, you are going to try harder than that."

She chuckles a little, "Too bad."

We both smile, and I reach and pull her into my arms. Her jacket moves enough to show the scar on her chest. I lightly trace it with my finger.

"Does it ever hurt?"

"The scar? Well... It used to, but it's faded with time." I nod, because I understand. I do.

"I have another one," she says.

"What?" I pull away slightly, and she puts a hand on her stomach.

"When I had her, I was too small to carry her life and my own. They had to cut me open to get her out." Tris lifts her shirt and delicately lowers the line of her pants to reveal a faint scar crossing her abdominal.

"A C-section?"

She nods her head. "I gave her up for adoption, and that was a good thing because I was in no state to raise a child. And that wouldn't have been fair to her... There weren't that many things that kept me alive, but she was one of them."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see someone walking towards us. It's Tori. "Court has ended for the day. Oh, and Tris... AD Kang would like to talk to you."

Tris simply nods her head and walks back to the court room. I am about to follow her when Tori grabs my arm. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Things aren't one-hundred percent amazing, but for now, it's enough."

"I'm sorry about the baby bomb."

"Well, it defiantly was a bomb," I say. "Now is probably not the best time to go that deep into it with the stress of the trail..."

"You're right, especially with tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow?"

Her eyes go dark. "Peter is testifying."


Something is not right.

When we got to the court house today, we were told there would be a delay. That was unsettling because of all the buzz around the trial, everything has been aligned in nice neat rows. But today it wasn't.

And the look on Peter's face as he sits up on the stand. It would make the devil himself run for cover. So far, his testimony has been full of bull shit, disclaiming Tris and making his slimy self better. I can't be the only one in the room who finds him absolutely repulsive.

His defense attorney paces the room. "Now, tell me Mr. Hayes," the attorney says, "what is the problem?"

"Not only am I getting falsely accused, but I'm not the guy everyone should be pointing the finger at."

"Why? Why would there be someone else to blame?"

"Because I wasn't the only one in her room that night," Peter says with an unnaturally curving grin.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I wasn't the only one who was in her pants that night, there were two others."

"What are their names?"

"Eric and Drew. They went to the same school and are the same age."

I hear heavy breathing next to me, and the hand held in my own squeezes so tight, her knuckles are white. More heavy breathing, and as I turn to face her it looks like I am witnessing a tower crumble to the ground.

The only thought that runs through my mind is, she didn't know.

Tris didn't even wait until Peter was done with his testimony; she stormed out of the room and walked outside. I follow on her heels. It isn't snowing outside, but it could be - especially with the way each breath leaves the mouth in the form of a cloud.

She walks out, not even putting on her coat. Immediately, her face has gone pale from both the news she recently discovered and the cold, except the rose blossoming from her cheeks. I want to kiss her and let my warmth fill her. I want to wrap her in my arms and feel every part of her. But right now, I can't.

She paces on the frozen cement, her breathes getting shorter and faster. "Tris..."

"What?" Her eyes are red, a mix of anger, frustration, and devastation. "I don't remember! I blacked out after Peter and didn't wake up till the next morning."

"He could be lying. Trying to throw a curve of doubt to ruin the trail. Tris, he's a psychopath."

"I can't do this..."

"Yes," I pull her chin up to make her look me in the eye, "you can. I believe you can."

"Maybe I don't want to do this anymore."

"I know," my voice is soft. "I know it's hard. The hardest thing you've had to do."

She is silent, and that silence is eternal. I try to break her from her silent trance. "You can't let him get to you. You have to be strong. Be brave."

"I... I... I just need to take a walk. Get away from here for a little bit. I'll be back after lunch."

"But…"

"I'll be fine."

"Okay." I kiss her head and she walks down the steps and off. A part of me is weary to have her walk away by herself. But she can defend herself, and she needs time on her own to work through the things running in her mind.

I turn to walk back into the court room when someone approaches me. He looks older, but not by much. As he gets closer, I can see it in his face.

Even though I have never really met Caleb, I can tell who he is. He looks enough like Tris to recognize him. And he's the one who has been sitting behind Peter the whole trial. Not to mention at the last trial, Tris slapped him. Normally, he has an I'm-smarter-and-better-than-you look on his face, but now it holds what most would mistake for worry.

"Where is she going?" He asks when he is close enough to me.

"On a walk. By herself. And that means without her excuse of a brother tagging along."

"I didn't ask for your opinion. Who the hell are you, anyway? What are you doing with her?"

"I'm her boyfriend, and I'm supporting her through a very hard time. Something you could never do."

"You don't know anything..."

"I know enough."

He sighs, "Listen, I just want to talk to her."

"Can't you see you've caused her enough trouble already?"

"She's my little sister."

"She's not your little anything! The second you turned your back on her, you said you didn't care. You have no idea what she was like when I first met her, and that was after she got some help."

"I know that..."

"No, you don't! You don't know anything. You may try to know everything, but you never will because your mind is fucked up."

"I just want to talk to her."

"She tried talking to you. Many times. And she's done trying." I dig into my pocket, reaching for the flash drive I made before we came here, not knowing if I would give it to him or not. On it is a recording of Tris playing the piano and singing "Say Something" from class a few weeks ago. I don't think she knows I was recording, and she defiantly doesn't know I made this flash drive.

"Here," I say, handing it to him.

"What is this?"

"Plug it into your computer and find out."

"I'm not doing anything until you tell me what it is."

"It's the words she wants to say to you; her last ones. She's been saying them for a while, too, but you haven't been listening. Well, look around... Listen now! Because she is done trying to say them."

I storm away, leaving the shit head with a choice I hope he doesn't screw up this time.


Lunch has come and gone, and there has been no sign of Tris. No call, no text, no sight of her bouncing blonde hair. Nothing. And it worries me.

I walk back into the court room for the trial to resume, but there is no one where Tori, Tris and I normal sit. Now Tori is gone. At least one of them would have called me to say if they wouldn't be here. So where could either of them be?

Right as the DA stands, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I look and see Tori's name across the screen. I quickly shuffle to the back of the room and through the doors. "Hello?"

"Tobias?!" Tori exclaims, her voice full of panic. Her breathes are short, too, like she is running.

"Tori, what's wrong?"

"It's Tris, something's happened. She's in the hospital."

"Wait, what's going on?!" The panic has reached my voice.

"She's hurt. Just come to the hospital, come quick!"


Author's Note

(Cue dramatic music, again.) Way back in 28: Chapter 27, this event was foreshadowed! The line was: The scariest part are the shadows. They stand taller than the monster, and they hold more darkness. It's like they are alive. When Tobias was going through Tris' sketchbook, the 'shadows' were Drew and Eric; her subconscious remembered them. Please review!

Be brave, everyone!


QUOTES

1). And I land on Tobias. He is expressionless, his mouth in a firm line, his stare blank. His hands, crossed over his chest, clasp his arms so hard his knuckles are white. I have to tell him. –Insurgent, book

2). ...Sing praises of the truth, but they never tell you how much it cost. –Insurgent, book

There are two (book, book) in this chapter.