Author's Note
I don't do A/N at the beginning, but I want to clear a few things up from the last chapter. This is what Caleb thought happened the night of the attack: He caught Drew and Eric trying to rape Tris. Peter helped Caleb save Tris from the two douches. Afterwards, Peter told Caleb that he slept with Tris, and the two guys wanted in on it. So when Tris accused Peter of rape, Caleb refused to listen because - in his eyes - Peter saved her. And Peter's his close friend, and if Tris' accusations were correct, then the consequences on the team and their image would go down the toilet. We can all agree Caleb is not our favorite person.
What finally convinced Caleb: Actually listening to Tris' testimony (because he never listened to her before). Peter lied on the stand about Eric and Drew raping Tris because Caleb knows that he and Peter stopped Eric and Drew before anything could happen, but Peter said they did do it. (If Peter lied under oath, what else did he lie about?) And watching the video of Tris singing. I am a strong believer in the power of music, and watching that video was the last thing to finally put Caleb over the edge.
I am sorry for this long Author's Note, but I hope things are cleared up more! Enjoy!
I do not own anything, just my ideas!
Chapter 34
TRIS
"Is... Is it going to hurt?" I ask.
"No. This will be very easy, like laying down and taking a nap."
I nod my head, too tired to do anything else. We walk into a room that would seem large, but an enormous machine takes up all the space. I am instructed to sit down on the table in front of the hole in the machine.
The woman speaks again, "Just hold still and close your eyes. This is only a brain scan; it will be over before you know it."
I comply, resting my head on the stiff table as it slowly brings me into the machine. It eats me alive. It's a good thing I don't freak out in small spaces. I don't hear any voices, only muffled beeps and my own breathing. I can feel it penetrating my head, my mind. An invisible force photographing my brain for more examination.
I feel like I am an animal.
They observe me. They take notes. They constantly poke and pry. Everything about me is on display for them. All in the name of science. And my health. But the latter isn't at the top of their priorities list.
But that is why my father handed me over to them - in the name of science... and my health. But mostly for the science. I'm a mess, and I need to get better... And the world of medicine needs to understand my problem - my illness - in order to find a solution.
At any cost.
"Dr. Matthews, the scan is complete," a muffled voice says.
The woman, my father's friend who is in charge of me in this place, walks over to me. "Beatrice? We will be reviewing your scans, and then I will come see you later to talk about them. Alright?"
I don't say anything, but that is normal. Ever since I got here, the energy required to speak is too much. And it's a waste. I need that energy to keep myself alive, because that task by itself is hard enough.
I didn't want a wheel chair, but they are insisting. And it's policy for a patient who is leaving to be carried out in a wheel chair. I insist on walking to the chair myself, but my weak body and spinning head make me thankful for the nurse who refused to let me leave unless I was in the chair.
They want me to stay in the chair for the next few days, but I don't want to give them any more reasons to think I am weak. The compromise we agreed upon were arm crutches. I don't want to wear them long, but the broken bones, my bruised body, and the cast wrapped around my right leg begs to differ.
We enter the elevator to take us to the lobby and the parking lot where Tori is waiting with a car. It's been weird being here. The last time I was in a real hospital like this, it was my time spent with Dr. Matthews. And for a while, those memories were gone, out of my mind.
Maybe I didn't want to remember them. Maybe my mind was too messed up to encode them into my memory. At the time, I was on the edge of death, teetering between the invisible line until it got blurry and undistinguishable. I didn't feel, because the only sensation I received was pain. But ever since the coma, my dreams have been more vivid and more frequent.
We reach the lobby, and soon the door open and welcome a burst of cold air. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket.
At first, I don't notice because the bitter wind outside is making me shiver and vibrate on my own. And when you've been tightly nestled into a warm bed, you forget the cold bitterness winter is.
I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone. It's Christina.
"Hello," I say, getting into the vehicle.
"You finally answered!?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry, but when you get a concussion you are supposed to stay away from the outside world."
"Hey, you are lucky I didn't come there and see you the moment I heard. I've been hearing all this stuff on the news, and Tobias has been calling and updating us."
"Updating? As in, everything?"
"... Uhh, yeah. Everything."
There is a silence, and I know what she wants to say. "It's okay, just say it."
She sighs, "A baby, Tris? And then there might have been two other guys that night? And then you got hit by a car?! Is there no end?"
"It feels like that sometimes," I say. "Christina, I wanted to tell you about the baby. It's hard to talk about her, anyway. But even harder to talk about her with you."
"Why?"
I swallow, hard, "Because I gave her up for adoption, and the couple who adopted her knows your family."
"What? They do?"
"Yes. Back when we were here for the festival, we went to eat with your family. That is when I saw a Christmas card with her in it. Your aunt told me how the couple is a close family friend."
"Tris, I had no idea."
"I know. I'm sorry about the secrets." But am I? "I promise there aren't any more, at least I don't think there are."
I hear a laugh, "Are you sure you're not secretly a foreign spy?"
"No, I'm not."
"Well, when you come back, we are having a girl's night. And we will talk more about... it all."
"Alright, I'll call you later."
"Bye, Tris."
I hang up the phone, and turn to Tobias. "Everything? You told them everything?"
"Not all the details, but I called them to give them updates," he says.
"I'm just tired of explaining everything. And reliving everything. Everything."
I don't look at him, but I know he's staring at me. "And what about me? Are we ever going to talk?"
"We will."
"You keep saying that; you push it back. What is it that's bothering you."
"Part of it's Caleb-"
"I knew it. I knew I shouldn't have let him in..."
"Part of it is my mom."
"What?"
"When I was asleep, I had dreams about her, and it got me thinking. All these questions keep jamming into my head making me go over different things in my mind. I don't know; I just want answers, but at the same time, I don't know what questions to ask."
"You miss her."
"All the time. Out of nowhere and all of a sudden, she was gone. She'd vanished out of thin air. There was no warning. Nothing."
"It's not so easy with time, either," he says, twisting the bracelet on his wrist. "I always thought there would be a day to say goodbye. But death is on its own clock."
I nod my head and lean in closer to him. Death has its own clock? But sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes there is an internal voice pushing closer and closer to the end. I've heard that voice before. And other times there is an external force breaking barriers and making its own path.
The hallways of the court house are silent, except for the click-clack of my crutches on the marble floors. I roam the hallways of the court house, going nowhere in particular. But I avoid the courtroom with my trial. It is weird for me to not be there now, but it is time for the testimony of my doctor from my time I was pregnant, and I'd rather not hear about it. I have already experienced those check-ups, and I'd rather not hear it again.
I get uncomfortable when people talk about me, especially when it relates to Rose. It is weird hearing other people talk about me. And for the longest time, what people said were awful things. But my doctor only has sympathy, noting how I refused to have a male doctor, and even when I had a female, I had trouble with her.
And hearing the doctor speak, analytically pointing out different signs and taking away the emotion from it all. I couldn't help but leave the room and roam through the building. And before I know it, I stand in front of a wooden door, the name on it matching the name on the card in my hand.
I make a fist and gently knock on the door.
I hear shuffling inside, and in seconds the door opens to David. "Hello, there."
"Hi. I was wondering if you weren't busy."
"At the moment, no. Why?"
That is a good question, why am I here? What drove me to come here of all the places. Maybe because he knew my mom, and since the car attack...
"I was... I just... Sorry, it's stupid."
"I'm sure a smart girl like you wouldn't do anything on accident. What is it you want to talk about? Your mom?" I nod my head. "Why don't you come inside my office?"
I crutch in and he asks, "Do want some water or something?"
"No thank you."
"You really are just like her," he says shaking his head.
I take a seat in a chair in front of his desk, and he sits behind it. "So, how are you feeling?"
"Like I got hit by a car."
He laughs a little, "And the trial? Isn't that going on right now?"
"Yes, but I don't want to be there right now... It's complicated."
"I understand. Court can be... tricky at times."
"My mom would say that. You said you worked with her?"
I know my mom's job better than anyone else. She was a special lawyer, in small terms. She helped people. She took cases of people who would normally not get support, and reviewed them. Kind of like a Robin Hood of the justice system. She made sure someone, like a gang member or someone who wouldn't get the time of day from anyone important, got the justice that was right.
But that wasn't all she did. She helped people. That's what she did and what she loved.
"Sort of. When she first came here she was an intern under my boss. I helped her learn the ropes, and when I got promoted, I offered her a job with me. But she declined; she took the job she had until she... well, until she passed."
The pain I feel every time I remember she is gone washes through me. That pain used to be stronger and more frequent, but time has helped mend that pain. But looking at David, I can see a sad storm sweep his eyes.
"I only wish there was more," I say. "More I knew. More I could understand. The details of that night seem scattered, and I remember there was something big going on at work at the time..."
There is something unreadable on his face, almost like he knows something. "Your mother was working on a case that was getting a lot of attention, but I don't think that has anything to do with..." His voice trials away, and there is hesitation.
I have more questions, but my phone vibrates. It is a text message from Tobias, telling me court is have a break for lunch. I slide my phone back into my bag.
"What kind of case was it?" I ask.
"It was the appeal of a mobster who claimed he was wrongfully accused. I didn't know much about it, but I remember hearing rumors of how there was a larger conspiracy behind it all."
"I remember she said there was something about bad people, but I was only a little girl back then."
"You worked with your mother?"
"Sort of. I would shadow her at work sometimes."
"And did you like it?"
"Yeah, I guess I did." He laughs softly. "What is it?"
"Just, there is an internship program this summer, and I am actually about to go to a meeting right now to discuss the candidates. And, if you're willing, I can help squeeze you through the application process and offer you an internship by the end of the day."
"What?"
"You'd come here this summer, and you would be working under me. Kind of like how your mother started. And you will have some access to some of the records."
"That sounds..." My phone buzzes in my bag.
"I know, it's a lot to take in. You have my contact information; just let me know after you've thought about it."
"Okay," I say, getting up and making my way towards the door.
"They are calling up a new witness today," Tori says as we sit down on the bench in the courtroom.
"Really? It must be for the new developments," I say. Even though the 'new development' is really Peter's lying bull shit.
"All rise," the court officer blasts through the room. We all stand and the judge walks in. I don't pay much attention because I am trying to figure out who the witness is. But my answer is soon solved as Jack Kang stands up.
"The prosecution calls Caleb Prior to the stand."
I turn and see Caleb walking in. He doesn't look at me, nor does he look at Peter. He goes and sits in the witness chair. I turn to Marissa sitting behind me.
"What's going on?"
"He came to me the other day," Marissa tells me. I just gape at her. What is going on? "Tris, he's testifying against Peter."
"He is?"
She nods her head forward. "Look."
I turn my attention to the middle of the courtroom where ADA Kang stands. "Mr. Prior, what is your relations with Beatrice Prior?
"She is my sister."
"And how do you know the defendant?"
"He is my best friend. We've played ball together since elementary school, and now we play together at Michigan."
"And you threw the party where the attack happened?"
"Yes, it was my party." He's not defending Peter. He's not saying it wasn't an attack.
"Tell me in your own words the events of that night involving Ms. Prior."
"She came out, which was not normal because she'd always stay in her room. But she came out anyway and I didn't want her there"
"Why?"
"She was younger and she didn't really know anyone there. And the party was getting pretty crazy, and I didn't think it was a good idea for her to be there. Peter convinced the others to let her join, and after a while she went back to her room."
"What events happened next?"
"Later that night, I went to go check on her. When I got to her room, the door was slightly opened. That was unusual because she'd always keep it closed shut. So I walked in and I saw Eric and Drew on top of her."
"They were on top of her?"
"Yes. She was unconscious, yet Eric was holding her down while Drew was pulling down his pants."
"So, the two men had just gotten to the room and had not attacked Ms. Prior."
"No. They were about to, but I tackled them. Out of nowhere, Peter was there too, helping me save Beatrice."
"But in Mr. Hayes' earlier testimony, he said the young men had raped Ms. Prior."
"He lied. Just like the next day when he told me he had consensual sex with her."
"To make it clear, you are telling me that Mr. Hayes not only raped Ms. Prior, but lied about it under oath."
"Yes. He lied to me; he convinced me she was a liar. "There are those excuses. "And soon I convinced myself the same thing. He raped my sister, and I hate him for it."
"Thank you, Mr. Prior. But before I finish, I must ask, why did not you believe Ms. Prior's accusations? She said in her testimony that you did not believe her. What changed?"
Caleb doesn't say anything at first, his mind raveling for the best answer. I don't notice it at first, but I am barely in my seat; I'm almost standing, my nails digging into the pew in front of me. This answer is not only for the jury or the judge or the whole courtroom. This answer is for me. Only me.
This is his last chance he has to convince me to forgive him because after the trial ends, I am going home, and I will not speak with him. This is his last time to make me listen.
"I was selfish. I refused to even listen to her side of the story, and that was wrong. I didn't want to ruin all the good things in my life. Football, popularity, my friends—if what she was accusing was true, all of that would have been ruined. I didn't realize my family was something I was destroying. I didn't understand how much she meant to me.
"Seeing her now, after everything I know she's been through… She has a new family and new friends. Then Peter testified and he lied. I was beginning to question everything. Then my sister's boyfriend gave me a flash drive. On it was her singing a song and there were pictures of her new and better life. Everything began to sink in.
"I want to make things right and try to fix any of the mistakes I made. Even if I can't completely fix everything, I want to at least try." He trains his eyes on me for the first time. "My mother once told me there is evil in everyone, and the first step to loving someone is to recognize that evil in ourselves, so we can forgive them. Because we are all good and bad."
"Thank you, Mr. Prior."
The moment has come. Here, in a few minutes, there is an opportunity that everything will change. One by one, the members of the jury walk in and sit back down in the jury box. One holds a group of papers. They pass a set to the judge.
"Have you come to a decision," the judge asks the jury.
"We have, your honor."
"In the charge of accessory to attempted murder, how do you find the defendant?"
"We, the jury, find the defendant guilty."
"And in the charge of rape in the first degree, how do you find the defendant?"
"... Guilty."
Something waves over me. I can't describe what it is. It's not so much of a wave falling down on me, but more of a cold breeze blowing on my sweating back. A relief. A cool, soft slice of air bringing salvation to an incredible discomfort that has made its place on me for over two years.
A hand falls on my shoulder from the bench behind me. It is warm and familiar. Like smelling a comforting scent from a deep childhood memory, or finding the comfortable spot on a bed after being separated for some time.
The hand slowly rubs a knot of tension away from my shoulder, the familiar touch sending a new wave of relief through me. It feels safe, and I savor the touch I have begged over six years for.
I turn around, coming face-to-face with my father.
Author's Note
So there is a good chance I will not update in the next few weeks. Hopefully, I will get the next chapter up by next weekend, but the weekend after that I defiantly won't post because... I am going to CHICAGO! My choir is going for a long weekend, and I am so excited! And we are doing a workshop at the same college Veronica Roth went to. (AKA the birth place of Divergent!) And I am determined to ride a Ferris wheel. So, long story short, I will try my hardest, but it may take some time to update. Please be patient and please review!
Be brave, everyone!
QUOTES
1). Because they, like everyone else, are a blend of good and bad, not one or the other. –Insurgent, book
2). Or maybe forgiveness is just the continual pushing aside of bitter memories, until time dulls the hurt and the anger, and the wrong is forgiven. –Allegiant, book
3). All they are is skin and bone, trained to get along. –Treacherous, Taylor Swift, song
Congratulations to: ArillaHart, AngelNephilim14, Kails, Smurflovesicecream, and Guest (Fourtrisfanficforever).
There are two (movie, book) quotes in this chapter.
