I do not own anything, just my ideas.

Chapter 48

TOBIAS

The car pulls to a stop in front of the tall building with warm lights that travel as high as I can see through the window. Flags flap as the summer wind flows through the street. My stomach turns because hunger strikes my empty stomach, and the man next to me is repulsing.

"You better be on your best behavior, Tobias," Marcus says before we exit the car.

"Of course," I reply. For both of us, my best behavior is pretending I do not exist which is not that hard with him around.

We exit the car and walk into the building. The door man opens the door to a bright lobby that is familiar after the multiple dinners my father has forced me to attend with the mayor. Apparently, his wife has always been quite the cook, but this is the only time she gets a chance to really do it. So, this is a big deal.

The elevator ride is quite except for the soft hum of music. I can feel myself getting further from the ground, and it makes my heart beat fast in the worst way. My palms exert beads of sweat, and I discretely wipe them on my pants. There is the sound of a bell and the elevator doors open. We walk out and down the hall to the apartment the mayor, his wife, son, and daughter share.

When the door opens, the smell of chicken and potatoes hits me like a wall. I hear a burst of laughter that can only come from Claire, the mayor's five year old daughter. And somewhere Micah the mayor's ten year old son, is reading a comic book. The kid loves superheroes. But I hear his mother comment on how sick he is. Stomach bug.

Lucky kid.

"Marcus," the mayor says when he sees us in the doorway. "We were going to start without you."

"Not without this baby," he says as he holds up a bottle of wine.

"Of course," he laughs and then looks to me. "Tobias, it is nice to see you."

"You too, Mr. Mayor."

"You can call me Phil, son."

"Phil."

"Well don't be strangers. Come on in."

My father walks in before me, and I trail behind him. The dining room holds another man, the DA and his wife, Steven and Diana. I have met them before, but when it comes to functions like this, I do not make much of an effort to add to conversation or listen to it for that matter. I find a seat next to Claire and Marcus. After a small prayer, food is passed around and served onto the different plates. I place some broccoli on my plate and see Claire staring at me out of the corner of my eye.

"Would you like some?" I ask holding out the veggies. She makes a funny face, passes the bowl along but does put two small pieces.

"Mommy says I need to eat a veggie with my food, but she doesn't say how much. It don't bother me too much. Sometimes they are yummy especially when you add cheese to it." She smiles, giddy over the fact that she has to eat vegetables. She pokes me in the arm. "You don't talk very much or smile very much."

I give her a small side smile. She laughs, "You can do better than that."

"You know, maybe there is nothing much to smile about."

"Of course there is, and even if there isn't that is even more reason to smile."

"And why is that, Claire?"

"Because you will be in trouble."

"Trouble?"

"Yes. You is in trouble because if you are happy for a reason, that reason can get taken away. And if the reason you are happy is gone, then what will you do?"

I hesitate. "Well, I guess I should start practicing now, shouldn't I?"

"It's not something you do, silly… It's something you just have to let happen."

"Okay, Claire," I tell her.

"What about you Tobias?" Steven asks me when I look up to the others.

"I'm sorry?"

The others laugh, and I can feel the daggers from my father's eyes.

"How is your summer going?"

"It is going well. Lots of college stuff."

"Oh, what schools are you looking at?" Phil asks me.

Once again, I feel my father's eyes drilling holes through me. This is all just an act; another way to show face to the public and hide the unspeakable truth that we both know fully exists. So, instead of really listing school I want to go to or telling them the best parts about this campus and that campus, I read off the script my father drilled into me about Notre Dame.

I do not know what bothers me more: letting myself fall victim to my father's wrath or the fact that these people do not suspect anything.

"Well, Tobias, it sounds like a lovely school," Diana says. She and Phil's wife continue to talk about how important it is to really love the school you chose and their own transitions into college.

Marcus says, "Well, no one can go wrong with the fighting Irish."

"It is a lovely school, but have you looked at any others?"

Here it is. This is my chance at a small moment of rebellion against my father. These people may not be able to read the abuse he afflicts, but they have given me this opportunity. I can say what I please and Marcus has to listen, even if for a second. Maybe this is worse. And maybe I will pay for it later, but for now, the risk and the punishment seems worth it.

"Well, I have also taken and interest in Ohio State and Kentucky."

"The Wildcats?"

"Yes."

"There is not much interest," Marcus interrupts.

"Oh Marcus let the boy talk. He had a lot to say about Notre Dame, I am sure he has just as much to say about other schools."

"Actually," I say. "I found Kentucky fairly interesting."

"They have a strong Greek life; I am a Gamma Phi Beta, myself," Phil's wife says.

"I am really interested in the football aspect."

"I am sure this is a big time of exploring and questions and not knowing, but I believe things will find a way to work themselves out and you will find a perfect school."

"I'm sure my boy will be exactly where he belongs," Marcus says with tension.

The adults continue the meal and conversation without me. My moment of rebellion seems to be over, and it feels like I did not use it the best I could have. And I sit back and follow the normal routine of staying quiet and blending in. It is not until the end of the meal that I am forced back into talking.

"So Tobias, your senior year… Anything worth noting?"

"Well…"

"He's blushing," Claire whispers as she points to my cheeks.

"It's okay," I tell her. "Um, the team looks like it will have a good year. And my girlfriend will be coming home soon."

"Where is she?"

"She is in a special summer internship in New York."

"Wow that must be hard."

"Yes, well, we make it work. It is worth it. She's worth it."

"Oh that is so adorable," Diana says. "I would love to meet this girl that has Tobias so head over heels."

"Yeah," I say, not adding to the conversation. I would rather not speak about Tris with Marcus's friends, let alone with Marcus sitting right there. I know he is not a fan of Tris, which is why I have gone out of my way to make sure they never see each other.

Again, the conversation runs without me. There is business talk with politics and the latest Chicago scandal here and there. I do not bother to talk let alone keep up with such banter. I would like to think, even for a second, that such adult things and adult decisions do not relate to me. That I will not become one of these people at this table.

The meal eventually comes to an end, and the adults continue to talk more with just glasses of wine in front of them. Phil makes a joke that I can have a drink because no one in the room would tell on him. I shake my head and politely turn down the drink. After what happened to Tris, I am not a big fan of alcohol at the moment.

"This was a lovely meal," Marcus says as he begins to stand. He gives me a harsh look.

I say, "Do you need any help with the dishes?"

"Oh no, you are our guest."

"We do not have anywhere to be. My son can do the dishes."

"Of course," I say under my breath, trying to hide my hate for that man.

Claire offers to help, and it turns into a kids-turned-into-laborers ordeal. She just brings the dishes from the dining room to the kitchen and I place them in the dishwasher. I know my way around the kitchen because this isn't the first time we have been over and it is not the last time my father has me do all the cleaning up. At least I have a little company.

Claire spends the time telling me the latest gossip at the local playground. Lately, there has been a girl and boy who like each other and they have had at least four weddings and have not gotten married yet. She insist that the boy is constantly being a pig head and the girl is a little dramatic.

"They say that they are in love, but I think they are just being silly."

"You said that they have fallen in love."

"Yeah but I don't want that. I just want to love. It's like the happy thing… We should just love, but not fall in love. Because things the fall break. And that does not sound like a good thing to do."

"No, Claire, it doesn't… But let me tell you something, there is something special about it when it happens."

"What's so special?"

"Claire, do you believe in magic? Like dragons and fairies?"

"Sometimes."

"Well, love is special because it is the closest thing to magic we have."

"What's her name?"

"Tris."

"Is she pretty?"

She's not pretty. That's too small of a word. She is small but strong, and her bright eyes demand attention. Looking at her is like waking up. But I could never describe Tris to Claire, whose five year old brain can't understand someone like Tris, because I could never describe Tris the right way. She is bendable light, but not in the way that she in breakable. She shines around the darkest corners of my day and finds a way to enlighten me.

"Yes, she is very pretty. But sometimes people are pretty not in looks, not in what they say, but just in the way they are."

"Like a flower?"

I think about all we have been through, and all we will go through in the future. She is not some dainty flower that lays in a field and does nothing but soak in the sun and look pretty. She is more than that. Just like before, however, I leave things simple. The question may be complicated, but the answer is sometimes simple.

"Exactly like a flower."


Author's Note

This was a short chapter, and a filler chapter that actually is important to some character development/future plot event. And I am very sorry that this update is well over due. I have given a lot of thought into it and I am thinking that the end of this story is approaching. I can't talk more about that because I will get very sad, but I do know there are quite a few more things that I want to happen before this story comes to a close. So, enjoy these last few chapters because I see the end in sight.

And because I have absolutely no clue when the next update will be up (although I have an idea it won't be for a while) I have a few sneak peeks to the next chapter. The next two chapters will be two parts of one big thing (Kavolo), and these sneak peeks will be from one or the other. Please review!

Be brave, everyone.


QUOTES

1). It takes ten times as long to put yourself together as it does to fall apart. –Mockingjay, book

2). People are layers of secrets. –Insurgent, book

Congratulations to: 33dauntless33, lialuvs2read, Angelina Roongta, and Mockingjay28.

There are 7 (movie, person, book, person, book, book, and movie) quotes in this chapter.


"…I promise your cause will not die with you. I won't let them get away with it. And when I am done, they will finally understand why storms are named after people." ... The flowers next to her grave glow in the summer sun. But I have come to realize that when there is peace that is when destruction arises.

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I collapse to the ground, an intangible weight pulling on my shoulders and dragging me down. And it has finally won. Silent tears fall because I am not strong enough. I try to hide them so no one can see them. But they must be seen because they say all there is to say. The first scars never fade away. I trace a finger on the dark pavement where she died, where she really died.

::::

"Tris," David calls out. "The car is here. Are you ready?"

::::

"We have to get off the road! Look!"

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"Was it worth it? Will it ever be worth it?"

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"Tell him that I love him."