I do not own anything, just my ideas.
Chapter 53
TOBIAS
"Raise your glasses, everyone," Zeke says, bringing his cup high above his head. "Here is to the beginning of the end."
"Don't make it so dramatic," Shauna tells him after a fairly large sip of her drink.
"It's true, though. This is our last go around till we all leave for college."
"A scary thought."
"I know, to think all of us—"
"No, I meant scary to think Zeke at college."
Everyone around the fire pit laughs except for Zeke who runs off on a rampage away from the bonfire, all dramatic the way Shauna said a few moments ago. Shauna gets up to go after him, but Uriah grabs her arm.
"Don't bother. He'll be back soon enough."
"So sure?" she says, raising her eyebrows.
"Yup. He can't resist all this." Uriah strikes a provocative pose.
Laughing, Shauna says, "Zeke is right. This is it. I can't believe we are all seniors."
"If you ask me, I am ready to get out of this shit-hole," Lauren says.
"Don't be such a stick in the mud. You have to be looking forward to something."
Marlene nearly jumps. "I am looking forward to sitting front in center at the football games, cheering my best guy on," she says, grabbing onto Uriah next to her. "So you better win."
I immediately laugh to myself. If Tris is there, we'll win.
I remember our bet last year, my desperate attempt to get closer to her. I remember the nerves I felt just talking to her and the desire to be near her. Being close to her—just looking at her—was like waking up. It was like losing control and perspective, because the reality I was in was not one worth living. She sent my life into chaos, the days I grew more and more in love with her. Even in the craziness, then and now, I feel calm around her. There is no anxiety or agitation. Just a nirvana of our own.
And I can see the same effect inside her. She was lost, too. We both were. And that little bet we made turned into so much more. I want to imagine it was a life line to her when she was turning into gray, falling into the background. Not fully gone, yet not truly there. Dead, but not allowed to die; alive, but as good as dead. That is the thing with people—too much of the time we are too late. We wish to help the ones who are gone but refuse to notice the ones that are fading.
Maybe no one truly saw her, and the kind of beautiful she was. She is beautiful, but not like girls in magazines with makeup and bouncy hair. She is beautiful for the way she thinks, for the sparkle in her eye when she talks about something she loves, and for her ability to make other people smile—even if she is sad. She doesn't get sucked into a crowd, but simply goes her own way. She does not fit it in like the way other girls do.
No, Tris is not beautiful for something temporary as her looks. She is beautiful deep down to her soul.
"What about you, Four?"
"What?" I say, and my friends laugh at me. I turn to Tris, and she laughs in her hand, her eyes getting small and her nose scrunching. She grabs my hand and says, "What are you looking forward to the most senior year?"
"Uhh, probably spending as much time with my girl as I can."
"Come on," she pushes me slightly. "Something for real."
Zeke jumps back. "Mine's got to be winning ourselves a state championship."
The other guys shout for Zeke's proclamation, and I raise my Monster to it as well. I say, "I guess my senior year of football should be exciting. Maybe finally finding a school to sign with."
"Speak for yourself," Will says. "This will be my last year playing."
"You don't want to play in college?"
"It's not for me. Don't get me wrong, I've loved playing, but it is time for me to end this chapter and start a new one. Especially if I plan on getting into the DAAP program at the University of Cincinnati."
"DAAP?"
"Best architecture program out there. I might even join a fraternity… Don't give me that look. There is nothing wrong with Greek Life."
"Just picturing you in Chubby's. That's all."
Will rolls his eyes and pulls Christina closer. "What about you?"
"Senior Homecoming and Senior Prom," Christina says. "And this time, Tris, you are coming. And you're all mine."
"We'll see," Tris says, smiling with her tongue slightly sticking out. She looks at me. "Maybe we'll go rogue, kind of like last year. It can be our thing."
Christina snaps her fingers. "Snap out of it. We'll go stag if it comes to it. It can even be a girls' night out."
"Hey," the guys shout.
Tris raises her hands. "Don't worry boys, I'll take one for the team if I must." I pinch her side light enough to tickle her. "Hey, you know you love me."
She kisses me on the check.
"Sadly, you're stuck with me, and I'm not letting you go."
"Want to bet?" she says with a smirk. "Ten bucks."
"I don't want your money."
"What do you want?"
I wrap my arm around her while Zeke yells, "Get a room, you two!"
I look at Tris. The heat from the day has been cooled by the wind from the lake. Her hair is out of her face, pulled back due to Midwest humidity. The only makeup she has on is a dab of mascara, something light under her eyes, and mint Chap Stick. Summer is not meant for heavy details. Not that she cared for it much, anyway.
"What about you?" I ask her.
"The art. I get to take some really cool classes. And start on a portfolio to apply to college with. And…"
"And what?"
"And I don't want to wish it away. It's weird how so much leads up to this moment and all of a sudden it is here and… the whole idea of it makes me feel small. Like I am a little dot in a huge labyrinth. And for the longest time I would think of the day I would escape into something different. Imagining that future keeps you going, but actually getting out has never been attainable. So I just use the future to escape the future. But now the future is here, yet I don't know what I want to do with it."
"Wherever we are when we get out, I want us to be together," I say. "Do you want that?"
"Of course I want to be with you. I know we have to think of each other and ourselves, and it is going to be hard, but we can do it. I know we can."
I stare down at her, facing Tris, her faith shining through her eyes and lighting me up inside. I know being together has never been easy. But it is the best thing to happen. She's my person. Since the first time I saw her, I have belonged to her completely. I still do. I always will.
I loop my fingers into her pant loop and bring her closer. "Let's get out of here."
She smiles. "Okay."
We walk hand in hand back to my car parked along the road. Before we get clear onto the driveway, I back Tris up against the house and kiss her hard, full on the mouth.
She sighs, caught off guard. "Now that was a kiss."
She wraps her arms around my neck, and I scoop her up bridal-style. I carry her to the car and she gets in. We drive until we get to her house. It is late, the lack of lights in the window tells me that Tori is probably already asleep. Something along the lines of pride rushes through me. Tori trusts me to take care of Tris.
And it means we are alone for a little bit.
"You've been awfully quiet this ride home," I tell her.
"Just thinking."
"If you think any harder, your head might explode."
"Funny, but it's nothing."
I reach across the pull the loose strands of her hair out of her face. "You'd tell me, though."
"Of course," she says and leans in close to me. She brushes her lips on mine, teasing me. More, I say in my thoughts. But that is not the kind of people we are. We do not touch each other carelessly. Every point of contact between us feels important—a rush of energy and relief. She unbuckles and crawls to my side, straddling my hips. My mouth travels to her throat and collar, smiling as I pass her tattoo.
The truth of the matter is, I don't know what this year will hold for us. When I think back to last year, I would have never imagined we would be here. But I have faith. And I believe that faith can be rewarded, even if the reality isn't enough. It is not scary, and I don't fear what is ahead, especially with Tris here next to me.
"You've changed me," I tell her, resting my forehead on her's. "I will never be the same."
"You helped me breath when I was drowning."
i trace my hands along her arms and up to her neck. My fingers skim the chain around her neck, clasped in the back. It brings a thought to my mind. "I almost forgot. I got you something."
I pull out a little box from the compartment in between us. I know Tris is not the kind of girl who swoons over gifts, but I want her to have a piece of me with her that no one can compete with.
Tris opens it and her eyes widen. "It's perfect."
She grabs the silver chain with a number four dangling on the end and puts it on. It compliments the other necklace around we neck.
"This year we are going to do it."
"What?"
"Go undefeated."
"You're too cocky."
"Oh really, you want to make a bet?"
She laughs. "I'll go to the games. But I sit where I want. No student sections."
"Student section until we lose?"
"The edge."
"Deal," I say, sealing it with a kiss.
Author's Note
A week late, but happy two year anniversary for FTS! Shout out to all the loyal fans!
Kind of a filler chapter. Sorry. And I have been bad. I should have been writing a lot over the summer, especially because I have an extremely challenging and demanding semester ahead of me starting in less than a month. As I always say, please be patient. Updates will come at their own speed.
Quick housekeeping note: I wish Guest reviewers would get an account. Especially when a question is asked. A guest asked me about assisting me in writing my story. (Almost picking up if I wish to stop.) I have thought about asking for some help, but deep down, this is my story and I am going to get it all out from me. Considering the fact that I have already begun work on the epilogue, I have a pretty clear understanding of what I want to happen between now and the end. (If anyone wants to discuss this further with me, feel free to do via Private Message. Very Effective.) It may take more time than I originally thought, but it is coming. But thank you for the interest and suggestion.
Hope everyone's summer is going well. Mine is full of rain and work. And the MLB All-Star Game. Please review!
Be brave, everyone.
QUOTES
1). The moment our lips touched, I knew with pure and piercing certainty that I would have waited for him forever. –Shadow and Bone, book
2). To say "I love you," one must first know how to say I. –The Fountainhead, book
3). You're not supposed to look back, you're supposed to keep going. –The Lovely Bones, movie
4). The rest of the world is in black and white and we are screaming color. –Out of the Woods, song
5). Everyone has baggage, but I have found someone that loves me enough to help unpack. –How I Met Your Mother, television show
6). Be the person that feels the rain and not the person who just gets wet. –Bob Marley, person
Congratulations to: No one guessed!
There are four (book, person, book, book) quotes in this chapter.
