"You ready to finally leave this place?" I stood by, holding onto the wooden boat I formed due to my recently acquired Devil Fruit as Ethan finished collecting the berries and the rest of the meat. "Indeed indeed." I smiled, "Alright, all aboard the S.S Yes. All food items are put in the compartment above or below.. This is the best I could do in terms of boat creation, unfortunately." I bet you probably want to know how this all began right? Honestly, I have no idea how we ended up here, but I was just walking from the gas station with my friend Ethan and we ended up on an island. Now, here we are finding out that we're in the world of One Piece. Oh, but I'm sure that your much more interested in what comes next so I'll just give you the rundown of how we got off a deserted island. We got on a boat and left. Sorry, I'll get into how we ended up discovering the powers our devil fruits have on a later date.
As we finally stepped foot onto a new island, I stretched before looking around. Noticing that a lot of pirate flags were being flown. "Ignoring that, we need several items if we are going to set sail again." I lift my hand to my chin in thought, "Compass. We don't have log poses yet and we'll need a way to tell where we are. Map. Do you know how to read one? Because, I don't." "Pribably not." "Alright floating aimlessly it is."
I sighed, "Then food, we ate most of it on the way here and don't have that much left excluding that big pineapple juice bottle. Finally, Money. We don't have any of that. I mean I have a $20 bill on me, but It probably doesn't work in this world." I shrugged and took a step off the rowboat. "Got any ideas?" "Hmmmmmm, uhhhh no." I shrugged, "I guess for a reliable source of income becoming a marine could work, but they probably don't get paid much when lower ranking, so pirate it is. We'll steal and plunder our way freedom."
Ethan surged. "Makes sense to me." I nodded, "It may or may not just be an excuse to become a pirate but who can tell? First, we need a bigger boat." As we scanned around the only big ships were the other pirate ships that needed many people to actually drive. "Oh, there's one." I pointed to a tall boat that was vacant and seemed forgotten. It almost looked like... Nah it was definitely based on a bunk bed. It was a bunk bed through and through. It had a place to steer and move the boat in the front, beds with a hook for sacks of supplies making up the rest of it and that seemed to be it. It did have a paddle wheel. "Let's just stick with ours."
As we turned around a bigger ship sunk our rowboat, ramming into it right after firing off a whole bunch of guns at it. We stared in awe. I sighed, "I'll go get the bed boat. I get bottom bunk for now." If only I had known that the waves are a little higher in some parts of the sea.
I laid on the top bunk as we were out in the middle of the ocean. In the end we decided to choose a random direction at the dock and set sail. Right now we hadn't the faintest idea where we were. We had more supplies after we had successfully completed our first plunder against other pirates.
We had everything we needed in sacks slung on the set of hooks on the beds. I stared up into the sky, looking at the clouds flying above. Nothing particularly eventful had happened by now, mostly just sailing. "So now what?" Kenneth sighed, "I wish something eventful would happen. Maybe a pirate or even a marine vessel so we could plunder it? I guess-" Kenneth fell into the water due to a wave. "Oh boi." I hopped down off the top bunk, taking special care not to rock the boat too much. I reached out and grabbed hold of Kenneth's big stronk hands and pulled him up. He landed back on the boat, now dripping wet. I sighed. "That was a close call. I suppose we got our wish, something eventful did indeed happen. But it's not what we would've hoped for. I was thinking something more like a huge sea creature bursting out of the water, but I guess no-."
Just as I was about to finish my sentence something huge burst out of the water, battering the boat with some sizable waves that nearly threw us both off. Once the boat settled down and we recovered we looked to see a huge serpentine creature on the surface of the water. It looked around for a bit, somehow not spotting us when its eyes hovered over our general direction, and swam back under the surface, making a few more waves.
"...Well ok then." Kenneth shrugged, "That was probably a sea king. We have had two close calls today. At least it's not raining." The second after he said that a sheet of clouds suddenly swept over us and it started pouring rain. I audibly grumbled. "This is gonna be a long trip. I assume I have to stick with top bunk." I looked behind to see Kenneth already laying down on the bottom bunk. "Come on, just go to sleep my friend." Kenneth said, looking at me. "Sigh, I thought so." I pulled myself up onto the top bunk, already nearly soaking wet, and laid down in the increasingly moisturizing bed. I knew this wasn't going to be a short trip.
"Luigi, I just want to touch you
All over your manly chest
Want to bury my face in your breast
Luigi, you're so freaking sexy, and you got me in a trance
So Bowser doesn't stand a chance
Go save the day."
After finishing the song, and having come to realize that the wood I tore from the other pirate ship we plundered was coming in handy in blocking the waves. I was currently hammering in the final nail in the rudimentary wave blocking wall had been building. Making the handle on it I pushed it down, the hinges allowing me to see the other side once more. Once more something eventful happened. An small asteroid started to fall from the sky and plummeting towards us. It hit the ocean as I pulled up the Wave Blocker. Ethan went tumbling off the boat. "Ah god da-" I stood up and sighed, "Are we REALLY suited to be pirates? Or sailor's of any kind? No, probably not. Does it matter? Hah no." I grabbed a piece of rope and turned it into a lasso. I then threw it around his neck and dragged him back up. "Yeah, we'll probably make things work out in the end." I smiled, "I know right, Winging it has always been our specialty." "Of course, of course."
I stared at the supplies as all the bread and fruit were soaked with salty water, some of the supplies were even missing. "Hm. Terrible design choices aside the boat is still in one piece (Heh noice) and we're still alive. The supplies are absolutely soaked so we're going to need more." I looked at the supplies hook and a lightbulb went off in my head. I ran off in more toward the island in search of an old timey lantern. Despite the apparent lack of need for them from what I've seen in One piece. It would be more for the aesthetic anyway.
I walked into town looking for the closest antique shop. "Damn you stupid pirates let us go!" I looked off to the side as I heard a commotion and a younger boy's voice. I saw several big bois standing around a young girl and boy. Each of them had some sort of gun or sword with a jolly roger tattoo on their arms. Just as I was about to walk away, I saw one of them with a lantern on their side.
"God. Fucking. Dammit." I sighed, before walking up to the big bois. Tapping one of them on the shoulder, he turned his head to look at me, only to be met with a fist to the face. He went stumbling back. "I didn't want to get into a tussle this early on in our journey, but if life gives you lemons. There's nothing much you can do but use them to not get scurvy. Or I guess make lemonade." The rest of the men turned around and glared at me, "Boy, we're pirates under Captain fuckboi, you don't want to mess with us." I tilted my head in confusion, "Fuckboi? Never heard of him." I then dodged a punch from the biggest of the pirates, grabbing his arm and kicking the back of his leg, forcing him on his knees. Having had locked the arm in place, I slammed his face against the cement part of the building next to us breaking more than his nose. Dodging back as a knife swiped towards me, I regained my balance. "Honestly, I never thought that all that self-teaching would come into handy."
As I dodged a few more knife swipes, I parried, before delivering a fist into the pirate's gut. His knife dropped as I kicked it away. Delivering an uppercut to finish him off, I heard crashing behind me. Turning around I saw Ethan easily dispatching the pirates with his wooden training sword. Being the undefeated world sword fighting champion for over 7 years is definitely showing in a world like this. I smirked, "When'd you get here?" I dodged a few sword swings, before grabbing a man and tossing him at Ethan. Who axe kicked him downwards, before wailing on his poor face with the training sword for upwards of 30 seconds.
Ethan looked at me, before shrugging and continuing to fight. Before I could react, a fist came right for me. Without any other option, I let it phase through me as I then disappeared. The pirate who punched me then stumbled back and looked around. He walked back before running towards the other pirates, punching one of them, before stumbling forward as I popped out of his body. Kicking another as I flew out. "What the hell was that? Blindsiding a guy who's distracted. Have you guys no shame?" I smirked, before launching forward, sinking into another guy's arm, before he started to attack his friends. Popping out again, I shot above their heads, sinking into a wooden crate that was nearby. The wood started to bend and inflate like a balloon with the contents threatening to pop out. The wooden snapped and fired the contents toward the pirates. More pirates came as I popped out of the crate. 'I wonder when this many pirates got here.' Sinking into the ground, I shot towards the top of a wooden shop building. Looking over at Ethan I saw a guy about to stab him in the back. "Ethan! Look out!"
I was beating down pirate grunts left and right as more and more were dashing in. 'Man, how many of these people are there? How or why did Kenneth even provoke a response like this in the first place?'
I blocked and paried a couple sword strikes before I retaliated on the perpetrator by quickly swiping him in the head, stomach, leg and groin in less than a second. I then sent a flurry of strikes on his poor ol face for thirty seconds straight. "I'm having the strangest feeling of day jaw voo right now. Eh, it's probably nothing." All of a sudden I heard Kenneth yell out to me. "Ethan! Look out!" I tilted my head behind me just in time to see one of the big bitch pirates thrusting a sword towards my back though by this point I was much too enamoured Kenneth's beautiful voice that I was frozen in place. Time seemed to slow down as my soul was cleansed by the soothing elixir that was Kenneth's voice and I could do nothing but wait for the long metal blade to puncture through my back and out my chest. In the end it didn't matter though, my life was complete. After hearing the miracle that was Kenneth's worried, distressed warning to me to avert my fate I was fine with letting death sweep me into its warm imbrace. The blade then made contact and I was immediately snapped out of the trance.
I was pushed to the ground as my spine was bludgened. "Ow, ah fuck my back, oof." Pain welled up as I was hit in the back hard with a piece of metal. Confusion set in as I realized that, other than the fact that my poor ol spinal column had been struck and was in much suffering, I was perfectly fine. There wasn't a single drop of blood pooling out of my chest or my back. I looked up to see that my attacker and everyone else in the immediate vicinity was shocked and confused. I took advantage of his confusion and smacked him in the stomach a few times and then in the head, sending him tumbling backward and sending everyone else back into action. I looked to my back to see a freshly developed hole and that there had been no cuts to my back. 'Huh, so that's one of the capabilities of my devil fruit powers. This could be useful.'
I looked over to see someone running forward and winding up for a side swipe. I stuck my hand out and caught the sword and knocked him down. I started using the sword upside down to fight along with the training sword. In the end it took several minutes but we managed to beat down most all the pirates. We stood with the floor littered with injured people. Some of the peoples faces weren't recogniseable, courtesy of me after having let loose on a few of them with my training sword.
We were now looking at one of the pirates who had been hiding in the corner. He looked at us nervously before dashing away. "Hm, my guess would be that he's going to get his captain. Do you think we should follow him or just wait here for something to happen?" I looked over at Kenneth as he kneeled down and started inspecting the pirates. "What are you looking for?" Kenneth shrugged, "I'm looking for a lantern, and the one guy who had it is somewhere around here." He stopped, "Wait, who's captain fuckboi?" I shrugged. "I don't know who that is. There seems to be a few strange things happening like the devil fruits we ate and now this captain fuckboi. If that one guy is getting his captain then we might meet him here in the very near future. Anyway, while were still hereā¦" I looked around and grabbed another sword from one of the pirates. "There, now I have a couple decent swords. I'm all set. You find that lantern yet?" I looked back over to Kenneth.
Kenneth raised his hand up triumphantly, holding an old ass looking lantern, "Got it! All your base are belong to us!" "mmmmm, goood. Now we just gotta wait for the captain. I assume their captain is the fuckboi you mentioned earlier?" Kenneth nodded, "They said something about a captain fuckboi before the tussle began." "Hm, that is a very abnormal name or title. Seems like the sort of name me or you would come up with while writing a fanfiction." Kenneth shrugged, "I know right, it's weird." "Well, considering it's been a good bit of time since that one pirate ran off i'd say the captain should be here just about any minute now." Just then, we heard moderately loud stomp and the ground rumbled a bit. "What the hell is that?" Kenneth looked confused. "Speak of the devil?"
I started walking out to another opening with Kenneth following close behind. We walked out the corner to find a really tall and buff man with a very scrawny person riding on his shoulders. The very buff person in question looked just like the person riding and had surprisingly skinny legs. They were as thin as sticks but above the waist he was supper wide and muscular, yet despite this his legs held strong. Meanwhile the person riding was completely scrawny, not even a hint of any muscle whatsoever. They were both wearing pirate hats and smiling confidently. "Yep, devil has been spoken about." We could see Cuckboi's grunts slowly getting back on their feet, grins evident on all of their faces. "So you two are the halfwit fools who thought they could go head to head with the Fuckboi Pirates! ahahahahhhaha DFGFBNGBJRGGRSBPJDGPAIEHNVBIPEFHNBRRTGTGRSJ."
He gave a pathetic attempt at a pirate laugh before coughing and hacking uncontrollably for several seconds before regaining his breath and smiling once more. "You have some gall attempting to take down such a renowned pirate as myself just on your own. I will admit you are quite lucky taking down my entire crew, but you shall have no such luck with me and myself here." Patting his doppelganger on the head as he finished his sentence. "I don't even know who you are." Kenneth said as he looked at the man. "Besides, what kinda name is 'Captain Fuckboi? It's like you're TRYING to compensate for something." Fuckboi looked mad, "That's a family name! My name is Captain Bartholomew Peter Obenslock Tutuhaten Fredrick Timothy Gerhard Jack Gameriasthoth A-A-Ron Ricky Bob Slickslick Big Fuckboi Jr. the 69th. I am going to become the king of the pirates."
Me and Kenneth looked upon him quite surprised after he spewed out the onslaught of words that was his name. "In any case I see what's going on now. You two poor souls are symply out of touch, you didn't have any idea of just who you were going up against or how insanely strong and huge they would be." I looked up to the Fuckedboi confused. "Wait, what is the deal with "they" anyway? Twins? Devil Fruit?" Duckboi raised an eyebrow. "Ah, so you want to know about my abilities? You know what, your guys' attempts at taking me down are so pitifuly sad that I'll tell you about my powers, it's not like you'll be able to us the info to your advantage anyway. It is indeed devil fruit shenanigans. My power is to summon a coppy of myself with any number of different abilities or physiques. This copy here is what I would be like if were much more chisled and large than I actually am. He is extraordinarily strong, you guys wouldn't even stand a chance against me, let alone my beefy duplicate here."
The chad looking boifuck looked up at the virgin looking iobkcuf rather frustrated before interjecting. "Actually, it summons yourself from other worlds. Back where I'm from I also captain a crew exactly like his." He pointed above him to the now apparent original fuckboy. "But he is tight about you having no chance, both of you wouldn't even measure up to even one of us. You have no hope against two legendary pirates." Kenneth stood up, he had sat down during the rambling of the two insane pirates, and shrugged, "I'll take OG fuckboi."
Kenneth rushed forward. In a split second I readied my sword and rushed in and slashed at the buff boi. I didn't even use my full strength or speed yet I was surprised to see him flying through the air the next moment. I watched as he plummeted back to the ground, already looking like he was out of commission. "Man, I didn't even use as much effort taking down your guys' lackies yet you went down like a stone. Wait a moment?"
I noticed something peculiar about him. I ran up and stepped on his chest, him audibly grunting as a result, and checked to see there was no cut. "Well that's odd." I tried to slice him a couple more times and it did yet it did nothing. I held up a finger to Buffboi, he trying to struggle up with all his might, and tried slicing my shirt with it to no avail. Not a single scratch. "Wha- are you kidding me!? I grab the one terrible sword out of the bunches of other swords? Sigh, oh well. It looks like it didn't really need to be sharp to get the job done this time." I looked back at fuccboi before stepping off him and seeing how Kenneth was handling orgy fickbou. Kenneth landed a heavy kick on his face, chest and leg in around 2 seconds, before grabbing fuckingboil's arm and slamming him against the ground... I could see Fuego boi's back nearly cave in. We looked around and saw that his entire crew was petrified, locked onto the scene of their captain gravely injured. In that moment buttfuck could be heard frunting, slowly getting up to give one last stand. I turned around. Not looking to let this go any further I rushed forward and dished a downward slash of similar strength to the previous blow.
After I slashed I looked up to see he was still standing? A split second later blood splurged out in a diagonal trail and the top part of his torso slid off his body and onto the ground. The crew was even more horrified, some had even fainted by now. I was also shocked at the sword's effects. "Hold on what? This was basically just a metal rod a minute ago, what in gof's name happend!?" I thot o it for but a moment before realizing. "Aw, must be more delicious fruitcake shenanigans. So my devil fruit is probably the ability to manipulate sharpness, maybeh, possibly, perhapes." I walked over to Kenneth's side. We both looked down at Twitter fukbo. "Is he negative alive?" Kenneth felt his pulse and his eyes widened. "he's dead. I wasn't even using half of my strength and I beat him to death." I stood straight up and looked at the now captainless crew that use to belong to twigboi. They all looked at each other shocked before grabbing what they could and running. "Hm. Well we just took out our first pirate crew. Not as difficult as I would have assumed, but it's all mcchicken now."
I looked around, before checking Fuckboi's pockets. I found some money and pocketed it, before looking at Ethan, "He is bound to have a ship somewhere nearby right? We'll plunder it and be on our way." As we walked towards the direction Fuckboi originally entered from, we saw a big galleon ship sinking.
Sighing, I could only look on in disappointment. "H-hey, mister?" I looked behind me and saw the boy and girl standing a little ways away from me. "A-are you a Marine?" I shrugged, "No." They looked at each other, "oh." We stared at each other... the tension seemed to grow thicker, I stood awkwardly, "D-do you need a Marine?" They looked around before grabbing me and Ethan's hands and dragging us to some old looking wooden cabin.
Ethan looked at it, looking interested. "Is that an old looking wooden I see?" The boy entered and brought out a piggy bank. "P-PLEASE HELP US!" he thrusted the piggy bank into my hands, bowing. I looked around incredibly confuzzled, bamboozled, and maybe a little discombobulated. "Wha-?" The girl followed suit, the boy continued, "I know it isn't much, but it's all we have."
This setup right here, seems like something an author of a fanfiction would do when they have to progress the story and didn't know how to. Now, I am about as helpful as using a Wii remote to try to play Nintendo switch, but the kid was literally begging. I may not have known what he even wanted, but I couldn't say no. "Fine, kid. What do you want?" They looked at each other and smiled, "We need to get you to understand the situation right now."
Hey there, I welcome you to our new fanfiction. another self-insert that is also set 3 or so years before the main anime/manga.
