A/N: If you plan to read both stories, I recommend that you read the matching chapters in order and jump back and forth between perspectives. Bi'an and Wujiu's chapters mirror each other, even though most have differing anecdotes.

As a lover of XieFan, I'm excited to be bringing this fic to life. I got the idea of developing their relationship over the course of their lives (pre-manor), and I'm thrilled to be making my first multi-chapter fic since forever! I intend to write this in both the perspectives of Bi'an and Wujiu, so keep an eye out for Wujiu's half, "I Die With You Amidst The Ashes."

While there are a few elements that are creative pulls from actual lore, most of this will hopefully be relatively accurate!

(It's...totally not depressing, right? I love them, but they hurt me every day.)


Even though I was far too fresh in the world to remember, both my mother and father agree that the day of my birth was a joyous one. A blessing, even, by their standards. Trying year after year to get an heir to the Xie bloodline and being left barren, their prayers for a healthy child had been answered in the form of my creation. They named me Bi'an—'always be at peace'—for my life brought them contentment unlike any other.

It should come as no surprise that I was doted upon by both of them. There was not a need left unfilled nor a desire left unsatisfied. Albeit there were plentiful chances to spoil their child rotten to the core, they additionally provided me with a heaping spoonful of good manners and humility, offering the world a sweetness from the palm of my hand. My father used to say, "Those who do good, honest work in this world will be rewarded for their deeds." I wore those words on my heart, and I thanked him for such a lesson when I was old enough to understand its meaning.

There were many upstanding people in the village, as I discovered later, who told my parents that my kindness would become my weakness as I aged. They believed that someone of such fine breeding, coming from the Xie family, should present an air of hauteur, which would reference back and clarify my nobility to those who were not of such high standing. There are many people who believe it takes a village to rear a child. Thankfully, my honourable mother and father saw otherwise. Certainly, as a result, I grew up not the most assertively outspoken, but the times I did speak were viewed with importance. Many claimed me, even as a child, to have a tongue of gold from which spilled uplifting words for the populous to savor. Even my parents saw greatness in me, and with my father guiding me along in my studies, he hoped I, too, would spend a long life making a difference in this nation with the use of my voice.

"And perhaps I would have, if fate played out in their favor. The ever-changing tides of fate are something I have strongly believed in for years, and with their influence, matters set in stone could be swept away in a moment's notice.

Fan Wujiu, I believe that our fateful meeting ... was not one of those matters set in stone. I believe you changed everything that was meant to be mine, and there is not a day I hold regret over it.