All Lie To Me* characters and references belong to their original creators, I am simply borrowing them to create a made up fan story.

Apologies for any potential unexpected triggers for those proceeding to read.


Get out of my head.

No truer words resided within her head in the most ironic way possible, and Gillian hated how much he was always on her mind, in her mind, her thoughts permanently welded to never budge from that corner of her mind.

At times when she would slip into a daydream after everyone left the office for the night, the rollercoaster of emotions coursed through her body in a way no romance movie could ever chew up and spit out her feelings, a conundrum she would eventually have to face.

Memories of when Cal first came to her office at the Pentagon were precious to her and she always treasured those meetings, replaying them in her mind whenever she was down or to remind herself why she still associated herself with him. There was so much fascination with a man only a rare few would take seriously because of his science and ability to see people and the things they bore all over their faces, all over their body with the actions they conveyed. Gillian enjoyed the conversations that strayed from clinical, even if she didn't initially understand his work, she understood what he wanted to convey to the world: the truth will always triumph regardless of the cost. This unhinged man was the secret gateway to another dimension in psychology and even broadened her perspective on humanity (or lack thereof) which led to the exhilarating discoveries of skills even she got goosebumps from, from not knowing she possessed.

Despite the love she had for Alec and he for Zoe, she also loved Cal in the way that best friends loved each other platonically. Ever since he convinced her to leave the Pentagon with her, every day was an adventure like no other, that they started The Lightman Group was an adventure she never knew she needed or wanted. People she knew who did business as partnerships with people they considered close to them always warned her to always stray far from that pathway or it would lead to the inevitable collapse for a multitude of reasons, mainly financial related; Gillian had heard it all and knew she had chained herself to a bomb ready to go off at any time but she still took the plunge and went with it, her gut instincts told her she knew what she was doing and to go with it all. There was a reason they mutually settled on the labels of 'best friend' because that's what they were from the moment they met, best friends, partners in crime, magnets stuck together because opposites attract. Fun was all they had with this partnership because they got to pick and choose cases that benefited from their skills and expertise; they got to be cops, detectives, actors without all the legalities or formalities involved for approval to progress.

If anyone had anything to say about their painfully obvious path to the failed marriages to their former spouses, the general consensus would undoubtedly declare the both of them reckless, fearless and invincible. Cal and Gillian were like no other business partners anyone had ever seen, they reached a level of excellence unattainable to even government organisations and were working on the most interesting cases ever to have come out from DC, all because they were given what they finally craved: freedom. Freedom was the highest level of currency for both Cal and Gillian, they were no longer bound to the sanctity of holy matrimony and the potential issues that could arise from picking up cases that would offend their respective partners; conflict of interest was always a real consideration whenever it came to cases that could affect the detriment of their marriages, however this was no longer the case. A freedom rightfully returned to the pair to pursue more explicit cases, cases that allowed them to tease, to push and pull at each other's sanity and boundaries, cases which offered catharsis for their hearts.

Cal Lightman truly brought the light into her life.

####

Get out of my heart.

Set in stone never to be tampered with, the rule to never privately read any employee working in The Lightman Group was created by Dr Lightman himself mainly as a means to protect his secrets eventually evolved into a personal and private rule between him and Dr Foster: The Line.

The Line was only ever talked about once when he asked her to step aside one night some years ago and asked why she was letting her husband get away with such obvious and blatant lies. She was infuriated but calmly laid out a new rule that only ever applied between the two of them, there was no way she could win against the world's leading deception expert but she trusted he valued their friendship more than his obsession with always weeding out the truth. Luckily for her, she was right and Gillian was pleased with herself. Sometimes all she needed to say to have him step back was mention The Line and most was at peace; anyone from the outside would have guessed that that was their safe word for when things became too heated and intense.

It was only two years since her divorce to Alec but she hated how much her repressed feelings divulged, the comfort of where they stood was no longer enough to continue to satisfy her heart and it confused her.

This was torture.

Cal really made a mess of her and she wanted him not to deny it even if they only ever talked with their eyes, The Line almost non-existent at this point. All of those nights where she asked to stay back alone with the ghosts of the nights were so sweet, they calmed her from the overwhelming feelings that switched out as frequently as he switched partners. Despite his philandering ways, she knew he held back when it came to facing the reality that they both knew deep down how he truly felt, it was obvious they knew her marriage hung only by a hairline and he was always there for her from the moment they saw it happening.

She could see it, his love like a nail in deep and undeniably, so was hers. Maybe it was never meant to be, the back and forth a grey area unlike words which were almost always black and white. Perhaps what they never said wasn't something that could ever be said and this hurt so much it was excruciatingly unbearable – the suffering alone with no-one to help, guide and advise how to progress this nonsense of a pathetic relationship of something that stopped making sense the moment they hopped on the same train of single-town.

Like all love stories, even Gillian had to have a moment of healing after being left to bleed; solo was the only way to go from here on out and what she had to do now was mend alone this bitter feeling. Too many times had she had to fight the fears and dry her tears, it was time she made her mind up to never try again.

Words so pure of regret, longing, pain and disappointment were punching bold and starting to blow, time ran out long ago but she kept holding with hopes that something would eventually change, unsurprisingly, it never did. Gillian had to learn to smile again, run again, Cal had cheated and fooled her past the point of forgiveness and even if he were physically on his knees, she wouldn't let him or anybody – nobody else – to destroy her heart like that ever again.

"I'm telling you, I, won't fall apart."