A/N: Thanks to 'breathegsr' for dropping a word in the reviews for the title for this chapter.
I was stumped as to what to call it, so thanks for your help. Thanks for dropping your reviews and
F/F this story, it definately helps to know you're there enjoying this Fic. Hope you enjoy this next chapter. - TGE


Impassioned

Yesterday had brought unexpected visitors. Friends they missed had come in search of Abby and they had found her living a carefree life with her two small children in Alaska. Safe in the company of her best friend, her protector, and the love of her life... Gibbs. They had forgotten about the world that existed outside their own. So, when Tony & Ziva came in search of her, they were reminded of the friends they had left behind. Reminded of how long they had kept their relationship a secret and how much they had kept hidden from their friends.

This morning Abby found herself quietly watching her toddlers sleep next to her. A soft smile pulled on her lips as she brushed aside her daughter's dark brown hair away from her face. Her son slept close behind his sister, both warm and tucked safely in bed – lying between the wall and her, they peacefully slept. Abby's smile grew brighter as she felt a gentle pull from behind as Gibbs sleepily snuggled closer to her. His arm wrapped around her waist tighter as he felt her hand cover his. Silently she hoped he would wake up, but after a night of drinking with Tony, he was apparently still tired because he simply went back to sleep. So instead, she took comfort in the sweet fact that she had mornings like this with him since they arrived in Alaska.

Her life had dramatically changed four years ago. To call it a rollercoaster ride was putting it mildly. She was worried that Gibbs would never come back to her when he and McGee were captured in Paraguay. Followed by relief when they did return home. Then she spent passionate nights with her Marine that embraced life and loved her as if it was his last. He had returned home with a different outlook on life and she gladly took the responsibility of being the reason behind his happiness. Even though no one would ever suspect it, she was the light behind his bright smiles every day since coming home. Suddenly, she was hit with the unexpected news that she was pregnant. She never planned or ever imagined becoming a mother to one, let alone two children. Yet during her last weeks in D.C., she found herself in shock and panic about being pregnant and whether or not she could ever have the nerve to tell Gibbs why she had stopped taking his calls.

The last few weeks she spent in D.C were filled with so much that eventually, it had brought her to the difficult decision she ended up making in the end. Leaving. She left her friends behind after she was shot. To her friends at the time, it was just that – she left because of the horrific events that occurred during her last week there. Little did they know that it was only partially the reason behind her departure. If they had looked at her medical records prior to Gibbs's arrival at the hospital they would have discovered that she was seven weeks pregnant and that was what drove her to make the heartbreaking choice to leave all those she loved behind, including the father of her children.

Four years earlier...

McGee quietly waited as the surgeon and nurse spoke with his boss just on the other side of the door. He never spoke to McGee or even asked how Abby was doing. He had arrived within minutes of being called. Although he was silent as usual, he could not hide the terror he felt. McGee's own fear was made worse by the fact he had seen fear clearly on the face of the usually courageous-stoic Marine. It was apparent to Tim that Gibbs was scared and it made tonight's events even more unsettling.

Inside the small room, Gibbs stood with a surgeon and nurse. Lost deep in thought he only watched their mouths move for a couple of moments until his focus came drifting back.

"... as we mentioned to your agent, the next few hours are very critical." The surgeon said to the quiet man standing in the room who didn't say a word since he arrived minutes ago.

"Agent Gibbs?" The nurse spoke softly, drawing the attention of the agent back to their conversation.

"...yeah?" Gibbs breathed. "Sorry, you said you mentioned something to my agent?" He asked as he turned his attention to the nurse.

"Yes, we told him about what damage the gunshot caused and how closely we would need to watch her condition for the next couple of hours." She replied.

Finally looking up at the surgeon Gibbs managed to ask.

"You didn't tell him anything else?"

The surgeon shook their head.

"If you are wondering if we told him about her being pregnant, no we didn't. We were just about to tell him about that when you showed up." The surgeon added.

Gibbs drew in a deep heavy breath. "Are they... okay? Is she okay?" He managed to ask.

The nurse smiled at him. "Yes, but we want you to know that she's currently in critical condition. We're monitoring her carefully, not just because of her injury but also because she is pregnant." The nurse assured him.

"Don't mention her being... pregnant, to anyone," Gibbs said quietly. "It may or may not be the reason behind her attack, so for now please don't say anything else."

The surgeon and nurse quietly exchanged looks and silently nodded.

"I'd like to see her..." Gibbs softly asked.

"Sure, we'll take you to her." The surgeon replied.

Quietly they lead the Special Agent from the tiny room and escorted him to her room in the ICU. Gibbs didn't notice nor care that McGee tried to talk to him as he walked by him. His mind was filled with so much that he simply didn't care about the rest of the world right now. His heart was a mess, his mind was in chaos, and his emotions were teetering back and forth on anger and worry, and he wasn't entirely sure how he felt right now. The only emotion that remained constant was pure and unrelenting self-hatred.

The moment they opened the door to her room he felt his heart race. He felt his shaky breath as he exhaled, the last time his heart raced like this was when the bomb went off outside her lab, years ago. The possibility that he could have lost her in that explosion caused him to make the only logical decision. For him, it was the easiest choice – the only choice. He would risk his own life to make sure that she was safe. As the bomb ticked down to zero, he took the stairs straight down to her lab and ran to her. He wasn't sure if he could save her in time but he knew then, that if he had lost her, he would rather be dead too. So, in the seconds before the explosion went off, he threw himself at her and used his body to shield her from the explosion. At that moment, he didn't care what would have happened – as long as they were together nothing else ever mattered.

However, tonight was different.

He wasn't with her when she was shot. She was with Reeves, but to him, she might as well have been alone. She was only going to dinner and they never imagined that anything like this would happen. He would have done anything to prevent any harm from getting to her, but even he could not foresee what was in store for her tonight. The guilt poured over his self-hate and devoured him as he saw the tubes that came in and out of her body. She looked helpless in the hospital bed. He knew her life wasn't the only thing on the line tonight, but the lives of their unborn children as well. He didn't notice the surgeon or nurse leave the room until he realized he was standing alone in her room. Listening to the sound of the ventilator pumping air into her lungs, he thought back to the conversation they had that morning.


"Are you sure?" Abby happily called out as she placed his coffee on her counter for him.

He was walking down the hallway, drying his hair after the quick shower he had taken before work. He made his way over to her sofa, where his hoodie that she had pulled off him last night still lay. He draped her towel over the sofa as he picked up his hoodie and pulled it over his shirtless body.

Smiling she stood in the kitchen watching him put on his sweater. A sweater she had hoped he would forget here, so she could wear it and fall asleep to the scent of him. Biting her bottom lip she waited for a response, while silently watching the muscle on his back flex as he put on the hoodie. She smiled seeing the barely visible scratches she had left on his back disappear as his hoodie covered them.

"I can feel you staring..." He said as he picked up his belt from the floor.

Smiling she carefully made her way over to him. "I thought you'd be used to it by now." She teased.

Fastening his belt, he turned around to face her with a half-smile. "You can stare all you want, just keep your hands to yourself... I got work." He warned.

Putting her hands behind her back she smiled up at him. "I asked you a question, Agent Gibbs." She reminded him.

"I heard you and I was trying to look for that." He said as he looked down at the t-shirt she was proudly wearing.

Blushing she continued to look up into his blue eyes. "I thought you would remember that I pulled it off you in the hallway last night." She playfully pointed out.

Smiling he looked into her pretty green eyes. "My attention was on... other things." He proudly admitted.

Looking away from him she laughed. "So... I'm still waiting for my answer."

Quietly he observed the spiderweb tattoo on her neck as she looked away. He wondered if and when anyone would ever find out that he was the spider that inspired the web on her neck. Smiling he leaned in and kissed the tattoo.

Summoning every ounce of restraint, she took in a breath feeling his lips on her skin because even after all these years, being with him was still pure fire. "Um… Agent Gibbs, if you don't stop now, you will be very late for work." She smiled.

Letting out a groan, he knew she was right so he hesitantly pulled away from her. Taking a breath, he looked down at her as she smiled brightly back at him.

"I'm still waiting on your answer." She giggled.

"Yes, I'm sure." He answered her question.

She wanted to hug him but instead, she continued to smile at him. "So, I can tell Reeves tonight at dinner?"

"Yeah." He breathed back.

"You don't mind our friends finding out that I'm carrying two very special agents... or forensic specialists?" She said happily.

He chuckled at the thought and shook his head. "Nope, as long as they know I'm the dad – I don't mind who you tell."

"Ok, so I'll tell Reeves tonight and I think I want to tell McGee tomorrow at lunch." She smiled at the thought. "McGee is going to be pretty shocked about us but I think he would love that our kids will grow up with his." She thought out loud.

Gibbs took in a deep breath as he found himself still half expecting that this was all dream. It had been 8 days since she told him that she was pregnant and just yesterday, he dropped his coffee when he found out she was having twins.

"Am I making you nervous, Marine?" She smiled at him knowing he was lost in his thoughts.

"No more hiding..." He said quietly.

"Are you ready for that?" Abby asked.

"Are you?"

Abby happily shook her head. "Nope, I'm scared to death but as long as we're scared together, I think I'll be fine."

He smiled at her. "As long as I'm with you, I know everything will be okay... Abbs." He said softly.

"Me too..." She took in a breath "Then well have nothing to worry about except the next couple months before they get here." Abby said as she looked down at her tummy that wasn't showing just yet, but she knew it was a matter of time before everyone would notice.

He watched her place a hand on her tummy. Taking a shaky breath, he placed his hand over hers.


Suddenly the beeping of the heart monitor brought him back to the cruel reality he found himself in tonight. He was in the ICU, standing by her bedside after she was shot and after Reeves was killed. He had failed the one promise he lived and breathed by: keeping her safe. Rage built up inside him knowing just how much he had failed her. How much he failed as a father... again. Feeling the tears burn in his eyes he looked at that infinity tattoo on her forearm that stirred another flashback in his mind about when and how she got that tatted on her arm.


Smiling Abby looked through the lens while he stood in front of her in his Marine uniform.

"How long will you love me?" Abby asked as she took a photo of him glaring at her after she had kissed him and left lipstick smeared on his lips.

Holding his serious look, he silently took a pen from his shirt pocket and took her arm. He bit back a smile as he pressed the pen on her skin and carelessly scribbled the sign for infinity on her arm.

She smiled as she watched him place a soft kiss on the symbol that he drew on her. She quietly told herself that the symbol he drew was the inspiration for her next tattoo that would be a reminder of how long he would love her.

"I think that color suits you... sets you apart from the rest of the hot Marines I saw today." She teased after seeing the lipstick she had left on him transfer from his lips to her forearm.

"What do you mean the rest of the Marines?" He stepped closer to her with her lipstick still smeared on his pretty lips. "You should only be looking at one." He said seriously.

Her smile grew radiant as she shyly replied. "Jealousy looks cute on you."


The memory quickly faded from his thoughts as he took another deep breath. A stray tear escaped his eye. He wiped it away before anyone could see it because after all this time – he had sworn that no one would ever see just how much she meant to him. But tonight, his tears didn't come because of how much he loved her, instead, they came because he felt as if he failed her. He fucked up. When he found out that she was pregnant he promised himself that he would never lose her the way he had lost Shannon. He vowed that he would give his own life for her and their babies. He was set on making the ultimate sacrifice if it ever came down to it so that they would live. They would be safe and alive, even if it meant that he was gone and dead.

This was his ultimate fear that he tried to avoid, but right now he was living it.

Eventually, the reason behind the attack on Abby was revealed to be an old nemesis that was out to get his revenge by attempting to take her life. She would wake and physically recover, but in the end, the trauma of the attack on her life would shred every hope she had on ever feeling safe again, even if Gibbs was with her. The guilt of surviving the attack while Reeves did not, also weighed heavy on her mind & heart. In the end, she pushed aside any hope she had of living a normal life with Gibbs. Getting hurt reminded her that anything could and will happen, but now it wasn't just her life that she was trying to protect. She had to take the role of being a mother months before her babies were even born. Days after her recovery, she eventually made her way over to his house.

In silence, she lay on his bed thinking of the countless times she had spent with him at his home. Times when her fear was extinguished by simply walking through his front door, but tonight she feared that even if he were to wrap his protective arms around her as he had always done – that even that wouldn't be enough to keep fear away.

Shutting her eyes, a faint smile tugged at her lips as she listened to him come up the stairs. The sound of his footsteps getting closer brought about those same butterflies she felt at 2:47 PM on that Thursday when they first met, but this time it wasn't because of how he stirred up the loving feelings she had for him. Instead, the swarms in her stomach were because of a thought she had earlier today and now those butterflies fluttered anxiously around because tonight she would tell him something that would undoubtedly break his heart. She was certain of it because her own heart was already shattered the moment she decided to do what was best for her unborn children, even if meant tearing their world apart.

While keeping her eyes shut, she listened to him gently shut the bedroom door. Heard him lay his keys on the nightstand. Since her attack, he was never unarmed when he was with her so she knew he had his gun on him still because she didn't hear anything else being placed on the nightstand. He seemed more on edge when he was around her lately, though for some strange reason she found herself spending less time with him since being released from the hospital. She was lost in her mind a lot these past few days, especially the past three minutes since he went down to make sure the house was secure. Her heart lay in pieces as she thought about how alert he was since she arrived. As if he was trying to make up for the night he wasn't there to protect her from getting shot.

Slowly she opened her eyes and found him removing his red USMC hoodie. He smiled at her and playfully tossed it on her face. She smiled at the scent of him on his sweater that engulfed her senses. She breathed him in as she reached for the sweater that covered her face with her free hand. When she saw him again, he was adjusting the ruffled t-shirt he had on underneath his sweater. Silently he crawled next to her, careful to not hurt her other arm that was still in a sling. She drew in a breath as she saw his gun that was still clipped to his belt. It made her nervous. As always, he seemed to pick up on her emotions because without a word he unclipped his gun & holster. She watched him prop himself up on his arm and reach over her to place his gun on the nightstand, next to his keys.

She looked at the gun and tried to prepare her heart for what she was here to tell him. Before she could say anything, she felt him wrap an arm around her waist and place a soft lingering kiss on her cheek. There was no place she would rather be than right here with him, protected and safe in his arms but after what happened she knew she would have to give up moments like this. She needed to feel safe again, not only for herself but for the babies that were safely tucked away somewhere under her arm that rested on her abdomen.

"Gibbs?" She whispered.

"Hmm?" He replied as he laid down next to her and rested his head on her shoulder.

She took in a deep breath as she felt his arm draped lazily over hers that covered her stomach. In silence, she thought back to the day she was terrified to tell him that she was pregnant. How his hand resting on her stomach scared her, now only a couple of days after telling him that she was pregnant for him she was made nervous again. Only this time, it was because of what she would say next.

"I need to leave..." She whispered.

She felt his breath on her neck as he pulled away from the kiss he had placed on her skin.

"What?" He breathed.

Sniffing back the tears she was fighting, she turned to face him.

"I need to leave." She repeated.

She watched him search her eyes. Confusion grew in his blue eyes that met her tear-filled green ones. Blinking she felt the warm trickle of tears fall.

"Abbs..." His voice cracked.

"I don't know when, but I need to leave." She said with a soft trembling voice.

"What are you talking about? Leave... why leave?" He asked nervously as he propped himself up on his elbows and hovered over her.

"I can't be here anymore." She whispered.

"Abbs, if this is about what happened... I'll do everything to keep you safe." He replied as he covered her tummy with his hand, he continued. "I'll protect them... I'll protect you." He assured her.

Looking away from him she looked at the gun that lay on the nightstand next to them. "What about work? What if a case takes you away, what if I have to work late and you're somewhere else? And you can't use the team to protect me. What if-"

"We'll figure something out." He cut her off. "I'll bring some of my friends in from the Corps, I'll hire some off duty LEOS, we can have-"

"I don't trust anyone, Gibbs." She interrupted.

She saw the hurt in his eyes.

"I know you love me..." She said quietly. "I know you would do anything for me and for our babies... but I just can't feel safe here after everything that happened."

"Abbs," He tried to cut her off.

"Let me say this..." She said as her tears continued to stream down her face. "I know you're not ready to leave NCIS for me and I'm not going to ask you to, that's not my place. It's what you do. Since we met, I never asked you to choose me or your job. I never took you away from what you're good at... you respected my job too." She wiped her tears. "It's not that I don't feel safe with you, I do."

"Then let me protect you." He said as his own tears began to fill his eyes.

Silently she shook her head. "You and I both know that right now you cannot spend every waking moment of your life with me. I understand that, so I'm not going to beg you to. What I need from you is what I always had and I hope I still have... your support."

Taking a shaky breath, he looked down at her stomach where both their hands protectively covered the reason behind her fear and the purpose of his growing desperation to keep her safe.

"I won't support you if you're going to take my kids away from me before they're even born." He said quietly as his tears filled his eyes.

She grimaced at the pain in his words. They cut her deep and unapologetically.

"Baby... that's not what I'm doing." She tried to assure him.

"That's exactly what you're doing." He said with a hint of anger in his voice.

Reaching out to him, she cupped his face. "I asked you if you would support me in my decisions when it came to them. You said you would." She reminded him.

He shook his head. "That was different. That was about the things you wanted to take or give up for them, while you were pregnant. That was about you giving up Caf-Pow! You moving in here after we told everyone, and that was about how you felt was the best & safest way that you should have them when it was time. Abbs, that's what I supported." Taking a deep breath, he buried his face into her neck as he shook his head. "It wasn't about you taking them away."

Her body shuddered as she cried, knowing just how much she was hurting him right now. Her voice cracking, she moved her free hand to his shoulder and rubbed it.

"I'm not taking them away from you, Gibbs." She tried to tell him.

"You are." He replied as his voice cracked.

She shut her eyes hearing the hurt in his voice. She felt him take in a deep breath and gently press on her stomach as if in an attempt to hold them.

"I'm their dad... don't do this Abbs." He begged.

Placing her hand over his, she interlaced their fingers.

"You will always be their dad. I'm not saying that you won't be. I know it feels like I'm taking them away from you, but I'm doing what's best for them... what's best for me." She said softly.

Sniffing back his tears he looked at her as she continued.

"I've been so scared since I was shot, even when I'm with you I can't help but dread when you leave or when I go back home. I feel like I'm always looking over my shoulder. I was just having dinner, Gibbs. I told Reeves about us, he was happy and the next he was gone. I'm anxious every second of every day. I have this feeling like I'm not safe anymore... the stress is too much it feels like I can't breathe sometimes. My mind can't stop thinking about what could happen next or who is the next twisted person that will come after you or me." She said looking into his tear-filled eyes. "Gibbs... I want our babies to be safe and healthy, but this stress isn't only affecting me – it's also going to eventually affect our babies too. What's not healthy for me isn't good for them too, you know that right?" She carefully informed him.

Quietly he looked at his hand that rested on her abdomen.

"I love them..." She whispered. "I haven't even met them or held them... and I love them. I found out about them two weeks ago and I love them... with my whole heart. I know you love them too. We're their parents L.J. What we want shouldn't matter. Everything we do should be for them."

Taking a deep shaky breath, he slowly lowered his head to her shoulder. In silence, she heard him cry quietly against her. Her own tears came flooding back hearing him cry. Only days ago, he had shed tears when he found out he was going to be a father and now he was crying because she wanted to leave. Over the years, he had perfected the ability to suppress his emotions from the world. He was Special Agent Gibbs and everyone around him saw him as the fearless Marine, a ruthless 21st-century cowboy that was unbreakable... but tonight he was none of that. Whoever said 'cowboys don't cry' lied because tonight his tears fell on her skin as he felt himself fall apart. He was weak when it came to her and tonight proved that, because she was the one who had the power to tear his world apart. He had a family before and he lost them. He couldn't protect them and he knew he could not survive if he had lost Abby and the lives they had created together. He couldn't save his family before, but tonight his breaking heart realized that no matter how much it would kill him to let her go – he was protecting everything that mattered to him. He cried because he knew deep down, he would give in to her one last time.

"I'm going to fucking miss you..." He whispered as his body shuddered.

Shutting her eyes, she leaned into him as she gripped his shoulder. The hot tears fell as their hearts broke together. Tonight, they painfully took their first steps together as parents. They put their own wants and needs aside for the sake of their children. They cried for the years they spent together because it felt as if it was all coming to a heart-crushing end, maybe it was not forever but it still hurt. Realizing that the seconds, minutes, and years that shared with each other were nowhere near enough, they cried. A year felt like nothing. A decade felt even worse. Then the brutal fact was that even twenty years didn't feel long enough. Their tears fell for the future they had hoped to have after they told their friends about their relationship. There was going to be no more secrets, no more hiding, and definitely no more worrying about who knew about them. Instead, in the aftermath of Abby's attack that would all change.

The minutes ticked by and eventually, they cried out a fraction of the hurt they both had felt after realizing that the best thing to do was protect their kids at all cost.

Sniffing back the remnants of his tears he lifted his head and pulled his hand from hers to wipe his tears away. Taking a deep breath, he looked down at her and wiped away her tears. Gently he turned her head to face him.

"I'll help you." He said quietly.

In silence, she looked at him.

"Let me get Fornell & Director Vance to help..." He trailed off.

Nervously, she shook her head. "Gibbs, I don't want-"

"If you won't let them help me, then I won't let you go." He warned. "They're my kids and I won't just let you walk away like that. If I have to, I'll take you court, Abigail Scuito..." He forced a smile at her.

Smiling through her tears she took a shaky breath, seeing a glimpse of the happy Marine she fell in love with all those years ago. "What, no daytime talk show?" She teased back.

"I could do that too." He smiled at her as his tears came back even as he tried his hardest to lighten the heaviness they both felt. "Take you on Maury so the audience can see how mean you can be."

She giggled as her warm tears streamed down her face. "Okay... you can tell Vance & Fornell." She said softly.

Swallowing down the last bit of hurt he looked at her stomach. "Promise me that I'll be with you when they're born." He said quietly.

Taking her arm from his shoulder she placed her hand on the side of his face. She watched him snuggle into her hand and felt the tears that slowly trickled from his dark blue eyes.

"Do you think I would ever let you miss that?" She smiled. "It's because of you that I'll be in probably the most excruciating pain I will ever feel, so of course, you have to be there."

"You were there too, so I'm not the only one to blame for this." He smiled at her.

Taking a deep breath, she smiled. "Yes, you are. I blame you for everything – Leroy Jethro Gibbs." She said quietly as her tears slowly fell from her eyes. "I blame you for all the kisses that made me love you a little bit more each day. I blame you for the hugs that made my heart melt. I blame you for loving me from the very first day we met, until tonight. I blame that smile of yours that I can't say no to and for making the smell of sawdust smell sexy to me. I blame your fucking good looks that I fell for that Thursday." She said as she watched him smile at her. "And... I blame you for making me a mom, even though I don't know how to be one. I blame you for sitting alone in that Chinese restaurant at 2:47 pm on that Thursday too – because if you weren't there, I wouldn't have known what love felt like or know just how much I really do love you because my heart is breaking right now." She said tearfully.

He wiped her tears as his own fell. There wasn't anything he could say to her because he knew he didn't have the strength to say a single word to her after hearing all that she said. While they lay in his bed, for perhaps the last time he wiped her eyes dry and placed his hand on her abdomen to remind himself why he was going to help her leave. With his heart breaking, he took one more shuddering breath before leaning down and kissing her. This Thursday night, was a far cry from the first that they shared together. Their hearts weren't full of hope, instead, it was filled with sadness knowing their life together would end here until she was safe. It may be weeks or months until they would meet again, but it might as well have been a lifetime because for the past twenty years they were never apart like this before. Although they had ended their relationship many times before it never felt so devastating as it felt right now. Though they didn't know when they prepared what was left of their hearts for the day she would leave.

Two hours later...

It had been thirty minutes since he had called Director Vance and Special Agent Fornell of the FBI to come over. Although it was nearly midnight, they didn't question it as they both had agreed to be there.

Gibbs sat quietly on his workbench as she stood between his legs. His eyes were shut as he listened to the sound of her beating heart and her slow breathing. He gently hung onto her while her free hand rested on top of his head. Silently she ran her hand through his hair smiling thinking back to the time when she had mentioned that his hair made her "tingly" inside. She wasn't joking, she thought to herself. In the dimly lit basement, he listened to the beat of her heart that not only gave life to their unborn babies but kept him alive as well.

Taking a breath, he broke the silence.

"Abbs..."

"Yeah?" She replied back as she continued to slowly run her hand through his hair.

"I wanted to be the one you called in the middle of the night..." He trailed off.

She smiled. "What?"

With his eyes still closed and his head resting against her chest he continued.

"I wanted to go on taco or ice cream runs for you in the middle of the night." He said quietly.

She giggled. "I imagined that most 'fathers-to-be' would be would be annoyed by doing stuff like that." She replied.

He quietly shook his head against her. "I probably would hate it too... I don't want anyone else delivering weird food to you in the middle of the night. It should be me."

Her smile grew brighter. "What if you had just come from work after working a long day and I called the moment you got to bed... would you go get me food then?"

"I'd take a shot of coffee and go shopping for you while everyone else sleeping." He softly added.

Feeling a lump in her throat she asked him a question. "Why wouldn't you be able to do that?"

Taking a breath, he pulled away and looked up at her.

"I'm not going to know where you're at." He simply replied.

Confused she shook her head. "What do you mean?"

"Abbs, for this to work I can't know your location," he added.

"Why?" She asked.

"I want you to feel safe. Want you to know that if anyone comes after me they wouldn't find you." He said as he dropped his gaze from her eyes to her arm that was still in a sling. "I need to be sure that no matter what happens that I wouldn't be able to tell anyone or know where you're at until you feel safe again."

"So only Vance or Fornell will know?" She quietly asked.

"You better tell Vance because I'll beat your location out of Fornell." He said smiling up at her.

Abby smiled and just as she was about to reply they heard a knock at the door.

Taking a deep shaky breath, he looked at her.

"You ready?" He asked.

"No, but anything for them... right?" She said softly.

Looking at her tummy he leaned in and placed a quick kiss on her stomach that caused her to smile. Standing up, he headed for the stairs leaving her in the basement knowing this was the safest place he could keep her when he wasn't next to her. These walls kept many secrets throughout all the years he lived here, but the longest and most precious secret it kept was the girl with jet black hair and emerald eyes that loved the quiet sad Marine that lived here. Tonight, these walls would hold on to that secret one final time.

Upstairs, Gibbs arrived at the door in his dark house to see familiar friends standing on the other side of his door. Taking a deep breath, he unlocked his door.

"Since when do you lock your door?" Fornell asked as he stepped in, while Vance only smiled.

Shutting the door, he locked it again and turned to face his friends.

"Basement." He said as he led them away from the door.

"Why all the secrecy?" Agent Fornell asked as he followed the Marine.

Gibbs didn't reply.

"What kind of shit did you get yourself into this time?" Fornell asked he began to descend the stairs of the basement.

Again, Gibbs didn't respond.

They followed the quiet Marine down the stairs and to their surprise they found Abby there waiting for them.

"Abby?" Fornell said as he came down the last bit of stairs.

Vance quietly watched as Gibbs made his way to Abby and take her hand.

Fornell and the Director came closer to them with questioning looks on their faces.

Taking Abby's hand, Gibbs felt the slight tremble in them from the nerves she was trying to hold back. He took a nervous shaky breath as well that she noticed immediately.

"I'm scared." She whispered, knowing that they were moments away from revealing their relationship and sharing with them that she was pregnant.

"Me too..." He whispered back as he slowly began to lean toward her.

"Okay, so anyone going to mention why-" Fornell was just starting to speak when he and Vance saw Gibbs place a soft assuring kiss on Abby's lips. "Holy hell, what the fuck was that?" Fornell spat.

"What the..." Vance trailed off as he and Fornell watched Gibbs and Abby slowly turn to face them.

Fornell with eyes wide stepped closer to the nervous couple. "What the hell is going here? Abby, what the hell are-"

"Fornell," Leon tried to calm the FBI agent down, instead the agent continued.

"... doing with this guy?" Fornell finished.

"Tobias," Gibbs said sternly.

Unphased Fornell looked at the Marine and then to the smiling woman next to him. "Abby, you tell me if you need help. Blink twice if you're being held against your will." He pressed.

Abby forced a smile through her nerves.

"Agent, Fornell," Vance said a bit louder that got the FBI agents' attention.

"Yeah?" Tobias said as he turned around.

"I think we should let them explain why we're here." Director Vance pointed out.

Agent Fornell chuckled and shook his head in disbelief as he turned his attention back to Gibbs and Abby.

"Thanks, Leon," Gibbs replied and took a deep breath. "I - we... asked you here because-"

"Hell..." Fornell cut him off. "I did see that right? I mean you kissed Abby. Not on the cheek but on her lips, I did see that right?" He asked, still unable to accept what he had witnessed moments earlier.

"Dammit, Tobias," Gibbs said annoyed.

"Fornell, let them talk." Leon pressed.

Raising his hand up Fornell backed off. "Alright, alright..."

Gibbs glared at Tobias hoping that he wouldn't interrupt again. Abby squeezed his hand to remind him as to why they had called them there.

"Leon..." Gibbs trailed off as he looked at their director. "We asked you here, to tell you... about us." He managed to say.

Leon stepped forward next to Agent Fornell, in hopes that he would remain silent. Raising an eyebrow, he looked at their interlaced hands. Seeing Gibbs and Abby holding hands wasn't surprising, in the past he witnessed Abby come up to him and grab him by the hand take him down to her lab. But after that kiss he saw his agent place on the lips of his forensic specialist, he started to wonder just how long they had been together.

"How long?" Leon asked.

"Uh - a while," Gibbs replied.

"How long?" Fornell pressed.

"On and off for the past..." Gibbs trailed off as he took in a breath.

"Twenty years." Abby finished for him.

"Tw... twenty?!" Tobias replied loudly while Leon stood shocked but silent.

Abby stepped closer to Gibbs as she felt a bit more nervous watching their friends try and process the shocking revelation.

"You could have told us over dinner or something, why midnight?" Leon asked as he tried to remain calm, seeing Abby nervously get closer to Gibbs.

Gripping Abby's hand a bit tighter Gibbs drew in a breath. "I need your help." He said quietly.

Fornell's eyes narrowed. "Why, what did you do?"

Drawing on her last bit of courage Abby stepped in front of her Marine.

"It's not about him." She said softly, which drew their attention to her. "It's about... well, we... I'm..." Abby tried to speak but lost her nerve.

"She's pregnant." Gibbs finished for her.

Leon and Tobias were rendered speechless.

Gibbs and Abby waited for them to respond but they only continued to receive shocked expressions.

"Now, you want to shut up?" Gibbs said to Fornell who looked like he needed resuscitating.

"Uh..." He breathed. "F- for... you?" Fornell finally managed to ask.

Taking in a breath Gibbs gave him a slight nod.

Director Vance looked at Abby and to her injured arm. "Are you okay... I mean after, you know?" He nodded at her injury.

Forcing a nervous smile Abby nodded. "Yeah, we're fine." She said quietly.

Turning his attention back to his quiet agent, Leon cleared his throat. "This is why you asked us here tonight?" He asked.

Gibbs felt his throat tighten up as he felt his emotions return. Tonight, he had been losing a battle with them and he knew once he began to explain why he called them, he would once again be defeated. Gibbs gently squeezed her hand before letting it go. Stepping forward he stood directly in front of Director Vance and Agent Fornell.

"I... I – need... your help." Gibbs forced his words through his shuddering breath as he no longer had the strength to keep the tears from filling his eyes.

Fornell's usual sarcastic outbursts were silent. Vance remained quiet as he saw and heard pain on his agent.

Abby took a similar shuddering breath as she came to stand next to Gibbs. Taking his hand in hers she attempted to show him that she was still with him.

"Marine up, gunny." Her quiet voice cracked as she saw the tears that pooled in his eyes.

Looking down at her, he saw the tears that also filled hers.

"Baby, if you fall apart – I'm going to too." She quietly told her Marine.

Vance and Fornell stood quietly seeing how emotional they both were. Clearly what they wanted to share with them was not the shocking news of their relationship or the fact that she was pregnant... it was something that broke their hearts.

Attempting to gather his composure, Gibbs cleared his throat as he turned his attention back to his friends.

"I -" His voice cracked. "...I, need your help to..." He trailed off as he fought his hardest to keep from breaking down. "...need your help to keep her and our... kids safe." He finally managed to get through his words.

Director Vance raised an eyebrow as Fornell asked exactly what he was thinking.

"Kids? As in more than one?" The FBI agent asked a little out of breath.

Smiling through her tears Abby leaned against the sad Marine. "Twins." She replied softly.

Fornell saw the tears that filled their eyes. He noticed the pain on the face of the usual stoic Marine and watched his chest rise and fall as he fought another losing battle with his emotions.

"Something tells me we're not here to plan a baby shower," Fornell said quietly, in hopes of lightening the mood.

Abby smiled and Gibbs chuckled through his tears. Vance smiled seeing a glimmer of happiness from the clearly emotional couple in the basement. He hoped that this was enough to pull them out from their sadness, but to his heartbreak, it was not. He watched Gibbs's smile fade and the tears he tried to keep from falling streamed down his face. He watched him take a shuddering breath that looked like it tore Abby apart because her own tears slowly trickled down her face.

The Marine let out a groan, knowing he lost another fight with his emotions. After all these years, she still remained his weakness, his kryptonite, but knowing she was carrying his children she was his undoing tonight.

"She wants to leave." He said through another shuddering breath. "I need to keep her and... my kids safe. Need your help to do it." Gibbs finally said to his friends.

Vance looked at her arm that hung in a sling from the night she was shot. "You're afraid that this isn't going to stop..." He trailed off.

Abby nodded. "I need to feel safe and I- " She looked at her Marine. "...I don't feel like I'm safe here anymore. At home, at work, or in D.C. I'm scared." She said softly.

Gibbs let her hand go. "I trust you... enough that I chose the both of you to" Taking a breath he ran a hand through his hair. "...to help take her away." His voice shuddered at his final words.

Abby's heart broke as she watched him walk away from them and lean up against the table in the middle of the basement. Placing his hands on his workspace he dropped his head and sniffed back his tears. They all stood quietly, as they heard him silently cry.

Fornell couldn't stand by and watch his friend fall apart only feet from him. Carefully, he approached the Marine who cried silently in the dimly lit room. His friend, who would normally avoid being seen with such emotion let his tears fall. There were times when he watched Gibbs leave to avoid a deep conversation or ignore feelings as strong as the one he was obviously feeling. He understood that his friend was human but after knowing him for so long, he thought that this Marine was incapable of crying. Sure, he saw sadness on him before but none of which brought him to such an emotional state. To Fornell, Gibbs seemed as if he had laid all his armor down. He was open and vulnerable. No defenses. No reason to fight or put up an act anymore. Tonight, Tobias felt as if he was seeing who Gibbs really was for the first time. He wasn't running away from a tense situation or putting on a stoic mask to hide his true feelings, no, he stood unguarded and unraveling before their eyes.

"It's okay." He assured his friend. "Leon and I will help you. We know how much she means to you." Fornell pointed to out Gibbs.

Gibbs gently shook his head. "It's not that..." He said referring to his breakdown as he turned to him.

Abby wiped her tears as she stood next to Vance who protectively wrapped an arm around her.

Gibbs looked over Fornell's shoulder and looked at her.

"I love her and she's the reason why I'm going to be a father again. I'm going to have a family, Tobias." He said quietly as he turned his attention back to Fornell.

Fornell gave him a gentle smile.

Dropping his head, Gibbs looked at a small jar of nails that sat on the table next to him.

"It's just that... I didn't know how much I wanted this – to be a father again. To love her and have her love me." Gibbs picked up the jar and examined the nails inside them as he took a deep breath. "She's everything to me and I'm..." He trailed off as he felt a surge of emotion build inside.

"Jeth-" Fornell was about to speak, but in an instant, he was cut off by the sudden sound of glass breaking and nails exploding on the wall near them where Gibbs had forcefully thrown the jar he was holding.

Abby shuddered in Leon's arm, shook by Gibbs's sudden outburst. Leon pulled her in tighter to assure her that he was with her.

In silence, they quietly looked at the Marine who tried to battle with what he was feeling. For a moment, all they could do was wait for him to speak. Fornell knew that if anyone said anything to him in this tense moment, it was highly likely that Gibbs would react by destroying something else. So when he heard Abby move behind him, Tobias held up a hand to keep her with Leon. Silently, he put his finger to his mouth in hopes that no one would speak.

Looking at the shattered glass that lay on the floor in front of him Gibbs took in a deep breath.

"Tobias... I'm asking you & Leon to take away everything that I love." He said quietly.

Fornell cautiously approached. "I know, Jethro... I know."

Realizing that what he had just done might have scared her, Gibbs turned to face Abby who was still protectively in the arms of the director.

"Abbs... I'm-"

"I know." Her voice cracked as she pulled away from Leon and came to her Marines side.

Quietly Leon and Tobias watched as Gibbs embraced Abby.

"I'm sorry, Abbs," Gibbs whispered next to her ear.

Placing a kiss on his chest she snuggled against him, shutting her eyes as she listened to the sound of his heart pulse beneath his chest.

Looking at his friends, Gibbs didn't fight the tears that kept coming.

"She'll tell you when and where she wants to go. Under no circumstances do you tell me, until she's ready." He said quietly.

"We'll handle this personally, it will stay between us," Leon assured his agent.

Fornell took in a breath as he looked at Abby who was safely in the arms of his best friend.

"Abby, if you have boys... you gotta name them Tobias & Leon now." Fornell jabbed.

Abby giggled against Gibbs's chest as hot tears steadily streamed down her face. Her Marine chuckled through his own tears as he looked at his friends.

"I will only ask you for one thing... probably for as long as I live," Gibbs said quietly as he held onto everything that he loved. "Keep my family safe."

Leon and Tobias quietly nodded.


ALASKA

Abby silently wiped her tears as she thought back to the night she and Gibbs had intentionally destroyed their hopes & dreams of ever having a life in D.C. together. How it felt to sacrifice each other was unbearable. Abby took in a breath as she realized just how much she and Gibbs had meant to each other. Although it wasn't goodbye forever, knowing that they would be apart broke their hearts that night. They needed each other like oxygen and that night they embraced their suffocation so that one day they would have quiet uneventful mornings like this.

A smile tugging on her lips, Abby watched her son and daughter sleep next to her taking tiny breaths in an out of their small bodies, unaware that their parents suffocated on sadness & loneliness just for them. No one ever realized that the last four years were the hardest years they endured. It was filled with the brutality of heartbreak, the ugliness of jealousy & doubt, and everything from cold careless fights to silent delicate apologies.

Abby smiled as Gibbs placed a sleepy lingering kiss on her spiderweb tattoo. She knew between the both of them, the Marine kissing her good morning was the one who, for the most part, perfected the act of being impassive but the kiss she felt on her skin, that stirred those "Thursday" butterflies would say otherwise. He was far from emotionless. He, like this soft kiss from his pretty lips this morning, had the ability to express feelings that were gentle, yet impassioned.


~*Next Chapter*~
"Happy Endings Are Never Enough"

~Drop a Review - I'll Drop a Chapter~

"Thanks for reading. Drop a review to let me know you're there - they keep me writing. I hope this chapter wasn't too long.
Not sure how long this fic will be but so far I am having fun writing it. Looking forward to a little angst or drama."
- The Gabby Effect -