A/N: Took a bit longer to share this chapter but I have a good reason why. (smiles) I've been looking back on the things I've written and FF I still have 'in-progress' and I feel like I need to 'complete' them. OMG I just re-read 817657320... my own FF made me emotional. It hurt so good NGL (lol). So, I reached out to a friend I haven't chatted with since I left (The Kreative Kreature) so I've happily recruited TKK to help me with the 'in-progress' fics. Speaking of which, TKK sent me a nice "Trailer" for this Fic (inspired by this FF ofc) and I love it! So, check out my profile here on [fanfiction_dot_net] and you'll find it there. It will redirect you to my playlist of *unlisted* vids for my FF 'trailers.'
Anyway, I'm glad you are enjoying this FF and I'm happy to continue it, so here's the next chapter. I made it a bit longer to make up for your wait – sorry for the late post. Thanks for Following & Favoriting and sending me messages. Happy to be "back." Gabby Shippers are always so nice.
Happy Endings are Never Enough
The morning mist was rising over the pretty blue lake below the cabin as Ziva stood in the living room watching Gibbs and Abby standing outside, next to a saddled horse. Quietly she sipped on her hot coffee as Abby stood next to her Marine laughing at something he had said to her. A smile pulling on her lips, Ziva thought back to all the times she had seen them together. They were always so close. Times when she came into the lab to see Abby, Gibbs was always right next to her. Inches from her as if he was her moon held in place by the tug of her gravity. There was no reason to be so close to her because all the things Abby looked at on her screen were always projected on the plasma on her wall, Ziva thought as she continued to look at her friends outside. Regardless, overall the years he was always beside her and after what they found out yesterday and last night, Ziva finally understood why.
She thought back to the year when Ducky had them all over for Thanksgiving. She remembered how Abby seemed so quiet because Gibbs wasn't there, then the moment he showed up she recalled how she came to life. He walked in and handed a paper bag over to Ducky, filled with random things he brought for dinner. Then without hesitation, he quietly licked his lips and leaned in to place a kiss on Abby's cheek. Smiling Ziva thought about that moment. It meant absolutely nothing then, but now as she watched Abby drape her arms around Gibbs's neck and kiss him – it gave memories like that a whole new meaning.
Taking another drink of her coffee she watched Gibbs pull away from their kiss and lean next to Abby's ear and say something else. In an instant, Abby burst into laughter and playfully hit him on his shoulder. Laughing he backed away from her and got up on the horse. Flashing her a smile, he rode away leaving Abby to watch as he left. Ziva quietly wondered if he was always this playful with Abby and if he always said funny things to her that made her laugh. He seemed so reserved at work or when they would visit him at home. Like he was in a straightjacket, bound so tight that he couldn't fully express himself or let others get so close to seeing this side of him. Yet, this morning Ziva caught a glimpse of perhaps who he really was underneath it all... the guy that said funny things to Abby just to make her laugh. She wondered about what he might have said to her to make her laugh so hard. Was he teasing her or was it something funny he said to her that only they knew about? Smiling Ziva continued to wonder about the real Leroy Jethro Gibbs, whom she apparently knew little about while Abby made her way back to the cabin.
Looking over the top of her cup she noticed how beautiful Abby looked. Not that she wasn't before, but there was something about seeing her hair undone while wearing Gibbs's red hoodie and a pair of jeans that made her seem more stunning. She wondered, maybe this is how he saw her. Where others only knew her by her pigtails, dog collars, and short skirts, this was the Abby that Gibbs only knew.
He was the Marine with a bright smile that said funny little things that made her laugh. She was the gorgeous devil lurking behind the playful innocence of a caffeinated angel. The more Ziva thought about it, the more she started to recall small moments that revealed who they really were to each other. Maybe their relationship wasn't entirely hidden after all. It was always there, but to the clueless people around them, their interactions simply went unnoticed because who would ever imagine that the loud girl with tattoos in the lab loved the no-nonsense marine that worked three floors up or who would ever consider that the caffeinated-handsome-silver-haired-quiet Special Agent loved the fast-talking-smart-beautiful Forensic Specialist?
"Morning Ziva," Abby said softly as she entered the cabin, which brought her friend out of her thoughts.
Still smiling Ziva greeted her back. "Morning Abby... where's your cowboy off to?"
Abby blushed as she tucked strands of her hair behind her ear.
"Um... he has to go meet up with a friend of ours. He'll be back later." Abby said as she walked into the kitchen to pick up Gibbs's cup of coffee that he had left on the counter.
"Tony's still sleeping," Ziva informed Abby who took a seat at the kitchen table.
"I wonder if he'll be sick when he wakes up." Abby smiled as she took a drink of her coffee.
Ziva giggled while taking a seat across from her friend. "Probably and he'll make sure we all know that he's suffering a hangover. What about Gibbs? How was he?"
"He has a headache and he really didn't want to get up but he had to meet our friend this morning. He said that he really wished I didn't give him an 'Abby shot.'" Abby smiled.
Smiling Ziva nodded her head. "So, when did the Abby shots start?"
Looking at Ziva, Abby smiled brightly. "Um... the first time we drank together."
Taking a drink of her coffee Ziva smiled at her friend across the table.
Noticing her smile, Abby blushed back. "What, Ziva?" She asked shyly.
Ziva chuckled as she looked around the cabin and shrugged. "It's just... I mean - I had a feeling you were okay when Tony was worried about you. Maybe a little worried, but I somehow knew you were okay. It's just that I never imagined that you were living with Gibbs. Not only that but that you had kids... for him."
Smiling Abby looked at her coffee cup.
"Abby, would you have eventually told us about you two? About you living here with him and about Lily & Lukas?" Ziva asked the blushing woman across the table.
Taking a deep breath, Abby looked up at her. "Yeah, we were talking about it two weeks ago. I was eventually going to respond back to Tony, Tim & you. I guess, I just forgot. My whole purpose now is for my babies. I think you can understand that. Everything I do, I do for them. They have been my life for the past three, almost four years. Now that their dad is here... I guess I forgot about the rest of the world." Abby admitted.
"Wow, two days ago I would have never imagined that..." Ziva trailed off with a smile.
"What's that?" Abby asked.
"The fact that Gibbs would make you forget about the rest of the world." She smiled back.
Giggling, Abby replied. "You have no idea what he can make me forget about, Ziva."
Amused by the shyness of her friend, Ziva smiled as she felt like she could finally ask her questions that she couldn't last night while the guys were around.
"You said the 'Abby shots' started when you first drank with him," Ziva said as Abby nodded at her. "Speaking of firsts, when was your first time with him?" Ziva asked with a smile.
Abby narrowed her eyes. "You mean when we drank together?"
Ziva shook her head. "No, your first time..."
"Oh!" Abby exclaimed as she laughed. "Um... wait, do you mean my first time with Gibbs or my first time..." Abby smiled at the thought. "Oh wait, that's the same thing." She thought out loud to herself which caused Ziva to cough on the coffee she was in the middle of drinking.
"What?!" Ziva said loudly.
Realizing what she had just unintentionally revealed to her friend, Abby gasped as she quickly reached for her hood and pulled it over her head. Pulling the strings tightly she covered her face with the hood and screamed.
"I wasn't supposed to say that out loud. Forget I even said that." Abby laughed as she kept her face covered.
"Oh my god!" Ziva said louder as she watched Abby continue to pull on the strings tighter on Gibbs's hoodie. "What the hell, Abby... are you serious?!"
Abby laughed as she reluctantly nodded at Ziva.
"He was your first, as in your first - first?" Ziva continued to ask while Abby only laughed and continued to nod at her. "Wait, wait, wait – you told McGee and I that your first time was in a cab with a cabby that was putting himself through school." Ziva pointed out to her.
Still covering her face with the hood, Abby only giggled at her.
Reaching across the table, Ziva gripped Abby's hands that clinched the strings of her hoodie tightly. "Abby, are you really telling me that your first time was with him?" Ziva said quietly, now realizing that Tony was sleeping in the other room.
Taking a deep breath, Abby shyly responded from behind the hood that still concealed her face.
"Yeah, he was my first."
Ziva let her hands go and chuckled in disbelief as Abby slowly emerged from the cocoon she created with Gibbs's hoodie.
Hesitantly, Abby looked at her from under the hood.
"I wasn't planning on telling you that." She softly admitted to the still smiling Ziva.
"So, what you told us in the garage that day... was that a lie?"
Abby shook her head. "Not really, maybe a little one but I don't think I lied because Abby doesn't lie and she's really bad at it."
Ziva giggled. "I completely disagree with that statement. Yesterday, Tony & I found out you have been lying to us for years."
"I wasn't lying. No one ever asked me if I was dating or sleeping with Special Agent Gibbs." Abby blushed.
Ziva shook her head as she laughed. "We never asked because we didn't have any evidence to support anything that would have told us that you were together!"
Abby laughed as she pulled the hoodie off her head.
Raising her hand Ziva let her laughter subside. "Okay, wait. For me personally, that's a lie. When I first got to NCIS I really thought something was going on between you two for a while."
"I'll admit, there were things going on during that time," Abby replied cryptically.
"I mean, he would stand so close to you in the lab."
"Mmm..." Abby purred. "He would be close enough that I could smell the sawdust on him." She smiled.
Ziva rolled her eyes. "That explains all the blushing you did and biting your lip when he was next to you."
"I did not blush or bite my lip when you guys were around." Abby tried to defend herself.
"Oh, you did a couple of times." Ziva smiled. "I saw the way he looked at you a few times too, but my dumbass didn't think anything of it – it was just what you both did sometimes. It didn't matter then but now looking back, I'm realizing I missed a lot of evidence."
Abby smiled at her.
"I can't believe this whole time you were sleeping with him. I'm assuming that there were times you came to work from his place, right?" Ziva asked.
"Of course, and there were times he came to work from my place too. He would get called to a scene and he would leave from my place. It was funny because sometimes he would beat you all to a crime scene. You all thought he drove very fast, but in truth, sometimes he was closer to the scene because he was leaving my apartment that morning or night." Abby happily admitted.
Smiling Ziva shook her head. "You both had us all fooled. Did anyone know about you two at work?"
Taking a drink of her coffee, Abby nodded. "Yeah, in the beginning, was Mike. He knew about us."
"What about now? I mean, did anyone know about you two when you both were still at NCIS?" Ziva asked as she sipped on her coffee.
Abby shrugged. "Well... eventually Jenny found out. That was weird." She smiled at the thought. "Ducky was one of the first to know too, but he thought we broke it off as Mike had thought. Then on Thanksgiving, a couple of years ago... he found out that we had gotten back together. At that time, I think we were together for about two and a half or three years."
"Is that when Gibbs brought chips and other stuff, instead of the dinner rolls Ducky asked him to bring?" Ziva asked with a smile.
"Yeah-" Abby replied slowly.
"I knew it! I was actually thinking about that time when you were outside with him earlier." Ziva replied happily.
Abby smiled back at her as she rose from her seat to put her cup away in the kitchen sink.
"There's so much I want to interrogate you about, like what both of your reactions were when you found out you were pregnant, how did you handle being a mother while their dad was working or all the photos that obviously have stories attached to them but that can all wait. Because I want to get back to Gibbs being your first?" Ziva said with a smile.
Laughing Abby turned around. "No. Let's not go back to that."
"Are you kidding me? You tell me your first time was with Gibbs and you think I'm just going to drop it?" Ziva replied as she got up to hand her empty cup over to Abby.
Smiling, Abby shook her head. "First of all, I didn't mean to say that out loud."
"But you did and now I want details... not too specific but close enough." Ziva smiled back at her. "...or, I could just wait until your cowboy comes back and I'll ask him."
"NO! Don't you dare!" Abby quickly shot back as she turned to face her very amused friend.
"Afraid he just might reveal one of many Classified Abby Scuito secrets?" Ziva jabbed.
Taking a breath, Abby looked into the living room where Tony was still sleeping.
"Fine... I'll tell you. Only because I don't want my Marine to know that you found out that he was my first." Abby replied back as she walked by Ziva.
"Your Marine?" Ziva smiled brightly.
Stopping at the foot of the stairs that led up to the loft, Abby smiled back at her. "Hey, for your information Ziva Dav... DiNozzo," Ziva blushed at her. "Very Special Agent slash Gunnery Sergent L.J. Gibbs has been my Marine since I gave him the fortune from my cookie twenty-four years ago. Twenty-four years, eleven months, and seventeen days to be exact." Abby replied as she made her way up the stairs to where her twins slept.
Following her up the stairs, Ziva giggled. "The fact that you know the exact year, month, and the day is insane."
Stopping at the top of the stairs, Abby looked down at her.
"If I knew how many minutes and seconds, that would be insane and very creepy." She responded seriously.
Smiling Ziva climbed the last bit of stairs. "Well, I'm glad you're not that creepy."
Abby carefully made her way over to the bed in the corner where her twins were still quietly sleeping. Smiling she left them there as she walked over to a chair near the window that overlooked the horses. Ziva joined her and took a seat next to her in the second chair that was available.
"You sit here and watch the horses with your cowboy?" Ziva smiled.
"Yeah, or listen to my audiobooks while our kids play." Smiling Abby pulled off Gibbs's red hoodie. "Ooh and the guy that does the narration for all the books has the sexiest way of reading to me." She smiled.
"Let me guess, Gibbs reads his books to you," Ziva replied as she smiled up at Abby who only smiled.
Looking over at the bed once more, Abby made sure her kids were still sleeping. Seeing their tiny chests rise and fall, she took a seat and looked at her smiling friend seated beside her.
"Is that a new tattoo?" Ziva asked seeing a glimpse of ink on the right side of Abby's neck.
Smiling Abby pulled her hair back from her neck to reveal the tattoo. Just below her ear were numbers tattooed vertically that read, 817657320.
"What do they mean?" Ziva asked.
"My sniper's military ID." Abby blushed.
Leaning back Ziva giggled. "Any other tattoos that were inspired by your Marine?"
"Well, since you asked. The story behind one of the tattoos I have is actually what you wanted to know more about?" Abby revealed.
"Really? You have a tattoo that reminds you of the time you lost your virginity to a Marine Sniper?"
"Oh my god, no!" Abby laughed. "That's not what the tattoo means to me, but now that you've said that it's going to be hard to un-hear or unthink that."
"Which tattoo is it?" Ziva asked.
"Guess." Abby blushed back.
"Hmm..." Ziva thought as she looked at Abby's arms and then thought about the tattoos she knew she had on her back. "The cross on your back?"
"Although he makes it feel like my soul leaves my body every single time with him - it's not that, good guess though." Abby smiled wildly back at her.
"Wow?" Ziva blushed. "Every time?" She asked with a silly grin pulling on her lips.
"Every time." Abby smiled back.
"So which tattoo is it?"
Smiling Abby tilted her neck to reveal her infamous spiderweb tattoo.
"You're kidding," Ziva whispered, remembering that Abby's kids were still sleeping on the bed.
"You remember I told you that I left for class after meeting him that night?" Abby asked her still shocked friend.
"Yeah, after you gave him a fortune cookie and kissed him." Ziva smiled.
Abby started her story with a smile. "So, at the time, I was a bartender when I wasn't in class. That night after school, I went to work around 10 p.m. - ugh, as always there were guys that kept hitting on me and wouldn't take no for answer."
Cutting her off, Ziva held up a hand to her. "Hold up, are you telling me that your first time ever with a guy – not just any guy, but with Gibbs was the night you first met?"
"Yes, it was the night of the first time we met. Do you want to hear this or not?" Abby smiled.
"Okay, yes I do, but one more question," Ziva said as she chuckled.
"And what is that, Ziva?"
"You were twenty-one, you never had a boyfriend before then?" Ziva asked with a still wild grin on her lips.
Abby laughed. "I did have boyfriends, in high school and in college. I was a nerd, no, a geek, Ziva. I was busy being curious about the cause and effect of car accidents. My focus was on school. I loved and still love learning. So, when my boyfriends wanted to do more than just kiss... it either scared me or I wasn't ready. I told them to wait but they would get frustrated with me and we would end up breaking up. I don't know, I never really wanted to until..."
"Until a certain blue-eyed Marine showed up?" Ziva smiled.
Blushing Abby looked out the window at the horses. "It wasn't like: I think your hot so now let's do it. It was more than that... I can tell you if you let me." Abby replied as she turned her attention back to Ziva.
"Tell her what?" Tony asked as he came up the stairs.
Ziva and Abby both looked at him as he squinted at the brightness of the sunlight that came through the window.
"Nothing." Both Ziva and Abby replied.
"That's not suspicious at all," Tony mumbled as he walked over.
"Sick?" Ziva asked her obviously suffering husband.
"Dying," Tony said as his eyes adjusted to the light.
"There's coffee and breakfast downstairs if you like," Abby told Tony who looked like he couldn't eat anything at all.
"Ugh, maybe just coffee and a shower. I'm going to go for a walk then, I need to walk this off or something." Tony mumbled as he lazily placed a kiss on his wife's cheek.
"Later," Ziva said as she and Abby watched him descend the stairs.
They both anxiously awaited while he had his coffee and took his shower. As they waited, they talked about anything other than what they had gone upstairs to discuss. About half an hour later, Tony had finally left the cabin. Unfortunately, by that time Abby's twins had woken up so Ziva would have to wait a bit longer before she got the story behind the infamous spider web tattoo on Abby's neck.
Abby fed her children with Ziva's help and got them ready for the day. Eventually, they made their way back upstairs where they watched the twins play on the bed as the women chatted.
"Why does Gibbs call Lukas, Chipmunk?" Ziva asked as she watched the little boy play with his sister on the bed.
Smiling, Abby looked at Lukas. "When they were just learning how to walk, we had moved to this place that had a huge Oak tree outback. When we moved there, their dad came with us. On the first day, Lukas was out in the yard playing with his dad and he kept bringing him acorns. He's started calling him Chipmunk ever since."
Ziva watched the little boy laugh as his sister squeezed the hippo she had and caused it to fart. Amused she turned to Abby who was watching her kids play on the bed.
"Was he with you a lot, after they were born? Gibbs, I mean." Ziva asked.
"After they were born, he spent about a month with me. Then after that, his visits were like every other weekend but you know how work can be? Then... things happened." Abby said with a hint of sadness in her words.
"He actually took a month's leave to be with you?" Ziva asked clearly surprised that Leroy Jethro Gibbs had the ability to ask for leave.
Abby turned to Ziva as a gentle smile tugged on her lips. "Yeah. The first month with them was intense but he was there with me every day. Some days it felt like the nights were so long but then it felt like a month went so fast."
"So, where was this oak tree that your chipmunk gathered his acorns at?" Ziva asked with a smile.
Letting out a sigh, Abby faced Ziva. "Stillwater..." She trailed off with hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
Ziva raised her eyebrows.
"Daddy!" Lily screamed as she looked out the bedroom window, drawing the attention of the women.
Ziva smiled at Abby, "Sounds like your spider is back."
Abby laughed as she went over to Lukas who was sitting on the floor flipping through his book. "Oh, you have no idea just how much of a spider he is to me, Ziva."
"Well then, you still have to tell me that story before I go." She smiled at Abby. "Are you going outside?" Ziva asked.
"Yeah, he's supposed to bring something back for them," Abby said softly as she took Lily by her hand.
Ziva watched Abby carefully take her kids down the stairs. No matter how much she saw Abby with her kids, she still couldn't believe that this was still all real. It definitely was going to take some time to get used to all this, Ziva thought as she followed Abby outside.
Opening the door, Abby watched Gibbs ride up on the horse. The jacket he had on was now draped over his lap. Smiling she took her kids out to see their father. Excited, Lily pulled on her mother's hand to get closer to her dad.
Ziva waited on the patio, curious to see what it was that Lily & Lukas were getting from their father. Silently, she had also grown curious that Abby had moved to Stillwater with her kids. It was more than likely that Gibbs had brought her there and perhaps the house she had mentioned was the childhood home of Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Again, with each conversation, she had with Abby she had more questions than answers. Like, what were the things that happened after their kids were born that made Abby sad when she hinted at it earlier? There was still so much she wanted to know about her friends, but right now the only thing she wanted to know was what did Gibbs bring back for his kids.
"Wait baby," Abby said gently as she kept her daughter from getting closer to the horse that their father rode in on.
"Where's Tony?" Gibbs asked as he dismounted the horse.
"He took a walk, he should be back soon. He wasn't feeling too good when he woke up. What about you, how are you feeling now?" Abby asked with a smile.
"Better, but I still have a headache," He replied as he knelt down with his jacket in front of her and their kids.
Lily hesitantly looked at the jacket her father was holding. Gibbs smiled as she stepped back after noticing it move. Her blue-green eyes grew wider as a whimper came from under his coat. Smiling he watched her nervously wrap an arm around her mother's leg.
"It's okay. Go to daddy and see what he has for you and Lukas." Abby assured her softly.
Lukas looked down at his father's jacket and whined to be put down. Smiling Gibbs watched Abby put his son down to stand next to his sister. Cautiously Lukas made his way toward his father while his sister followed close behind. When they got close enough, Gibbs slowly revealed what was hidden in his jacket. Lukas laughed as puffy white paws came into view. Lily squealed as she darted for her dad. Laughing, Gibbs and Abby watched their kids happily run over to see the chubby, puffy husky that he brought home for them. In an instant, Lily picked the puppy up and brought it over to her mother.
"Mama, doggy!" She happily exclaimed as she hugged it.
"Yeah, I see that," Abby said watching her son come up and pet the puppy.
Smiling Gibbs walked over to her and placed a kiss on her cheek while their kids took the puppy inside their house.
"Edison says hi," He said as he pulled away from her.
Smiling she looked at him. "I did promise him dinner, so we have to schedule that sometimes."
Quietly he nodded at her.
"Looks like Tony's coming back." She said seeing Tony walk up from the shoreline of the lake.
Taking a breath, Gibbs looked at the horse. "I better let him cool down." He said as he took the reins.
"I think we're already forgotten about," Abby said softly as she watched her kids play with the puppy they had just received.
"Should give us a break for a while." He replied as he ran his hand over the horse's nose.
"Until tonight at least," Abby said as she turned her attention to her Marine. "You do realize we have toddlers, right? Now, we have a puppy. Might as well be another baby we have to raise."
"We both love dogs and we did agree that we should get them a puppy," Gibbs replied as he smiled at her.
"I'm not saying it's a bad idea, I'm just getting flashbacks of the time we both got little sleep because we were up with crying babies," Abby said as she turned to tend to their kids and their new puppy.
Chuckling Gibbs led the horse toward the corral next to the cabin.
The cool wind whipped through the towering trees that surround the corral as Tony approached the two horses that were kept there. Silently he watched as Gibbs put away the reins and saddle in a small barn next to the corral. From the looks of it, Gibbs had been busy since he came to Alaska, Tony thought as he notice how neat the area was around their cabin in the woods. The hours he had spent working on cases were now free. Special Agent Gibbs had all the time to build whatever it was that he wanted. More importantly, he had nothing to distract him from his work except his children. Tony smiled at the thought.
From a distance, he wondered if there were times when Gibbs was focused on a project and his children came up to bother him. Smiling Tony imagined that perhaps he would have kept working and instead, showed them what he was doing. He pictured Leroy Jethro Gibbs as a patient father because at least out here there were no suspects to track down or the need to rush to solve a case. He had all the time in the world to spend with his kids and teach them things his father taught him. He imagined that his children had already known how to sand beams of lumber and perhaps they were his little probies fetching him tools as he worked on random things here in their little piece of paradise.
"Hangover?" Gibbs asked as he approached.
Tony chuckled, "Yeah, but better than how I felt this morning."
Smiling Gibbs stood next to him and rested his arms on the top beam of the corral fence.
"Not drinking with you again, for a while," Gibbs said as he looked out at the horses.
Smiling Tony watched the pretty horses. "Traded your truck in for them, huh?"
Gibbs only smiled at his question.
"So how does it feel not having to work anymore?" Tony asked.
"Feels like I should have done this a long time ago," Gibbs admitted quietly as he looked from the horses to the trees that surround the area.
"What? Leave NCIS and take off with Abby to Nowhere, Alaska?" Tony smiled.
Gibbs chuckled and looked at Tony. "I would have been happy anywhere with her."
"Why didn't you? You know, leave with her four years ago or earlier." DiNozzo asked.
Taking a breath Gibbs looked away. "I wasn't ready to leave four years ago and before... I guess we both think too damn much."
Tony huffed. "Couldn't push all the 'what-ifs' out of your head huh?"
Gibbs nodded.
"Speaking of 'what ifs' I wanted to ask…" Tony took a breath as he looked at his former boss. "Rule 12. Never date a co-worker... did it ever apply to her or not?"
Lowering his head, Gibbs looked at the dirt beneath his boots. "Yes- and no."
"It's just that I was thinking, we followed your rules to a degree for a while and…" Tony trailed off
"I know." Gibbs hesitantly admitted, knowing that Tony was obviously feeling betrayed that he had rules he taught them and enforced, yet, it was clear that Rule 12 never stood in the way of his relationship with Abby that he kept hidden throughout the years.
"That's what I was thinking about during my walk," Tony said as he turned his attention back to Gibbs. "I liked Ziva, I really did and I think she liked me back then too. Hell, even Kate mattered to me." Tony smiled. "There was no policy about agents dating at NCIS, but because it was your rule… we respected that in our own way I think. I know I held back a lot of things from Ziva because of your rules."
Quietly, Gibbs shut his eyes and listened to the wind rush through the pines. In silence he felt the cool air fill his lungs as his mind flashed through all the years he spent with Abby. There was no rule that ever separated them, except for the fact that they promised each other that what they had would never get in the way of their jobs. He thought of times when he wanted to reveal to his friends that he was happy with her, but his fear of putting her in danger always outweighed his dreams of ever having a normal relationship with her. All the while, his agents obeyed a rule he obviously did not live by when it came to her. He knew eventually, Tony would bring it up, and now he understood that his friend needed an explanation. Slowly, he opened his eyes and turned his attention back to the horses.
"Tony, I- "
"I listened to you. I respected you." Tony interrupted. "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that you have a family and all, but while you were living a happy life with Abby, I was stupid enough to follow your rules and deny my heart what it wanted."
Narrowing his eyes, Gibbs looked at Tony. "Happy?... you think my life with Abby was always happy?" He asked a bit annoyed.
Looking into the blue eyes of his former boss, Tony sighed. "You have pictures of your life with her that we knew nothing about on the walls of your cabin, Gibbs. Photos of moments that seemed happy. Like no one was there to take it away from you or no rule that kept you apart for twenty-plus years. Like no one else mattered but-"
"No else ever mattered, when it came it her." Gibbs cut him off sternly.
"Yeah, no shit," Tony muttered as he looked away from him. "While you were with the love of your life, we did as we were told like stupid toy soldiers that weren't allowed to care for the people we loved."
"DiNozzo... my rule was there for – for Jenny." Gibbs quietly admitted.
Tony scoffed. "Well, after I learned it – it was there for Ziva too."
Shaking his head, Gibbs turned away from Tony. "What I had with Jenny, interfered with a lot of things at work. She had her way of using our relationship in cases we worked and I'll admit, I did too. After she left, I still had Rule 12 in play because I finally had realized what Mike was trying to tell me when Abby and I started seeing each other." Turning to face Tony again, Gibbs took a deep breath. "I wanted all of us to have a clear head so we can look out for each other. A part of me never got over what Mike said to me in the elevator. I never forgot how I messed up on a case when I was with Abby. I just... I guess I just wanted us to work with no distractions."
Facing Gibbs, Tony cocked his head. "Last night, you told me yourself that you learned to handle it. Even when Mike told you to break it off with Abby, you didn't. You learned to keep your relationship with Abby out of the cases you worked together. Didn't it ever cross your mind that maybe we could have done that too?"
"Tony, I was... wrong," Gibbs said quietly.
Chuckling Tony looked at the cabin. Through the window, he could see Abby and Ziva laughing as they sat at the table.
"Saying you're wrong doesn't give me back the years I could have had with my wife." Tony calmly replied.
Following his gaze, Gibbs saw through the window the women that gave their tragic lives purpose. The women that had made them fathers. Looking at Abby, Gibbs let out a breath.
"I can't give you back what you could have had with Ziva, Tony. In the same way, saying sorry to Abby, won't give me back the past four years I missed with her and my kids." The Marine said softly.
Turning to Gibbs, Tony smiled. "You didn't lose shit the past four years."
Gibbs narrowed his eyes at Tony's response.
"You got to be there when your kids were born. I never knew I had a kid until I was told Ziva had died. You said so yourself, that you got to spend time with them when you could. I got to meet Tali when she was already walking and talking. Don't tell me you had it bad too because at least you got to find out that you were going to be a dad before they were born. I'm sure Abby wouldn't have allowed you to miss the birth of your children for the world. I'm sure you got to hold them when they were born too." Tony took a breath as he stepped closer to Gibbs. "The rest of the world could burn and you wouldn't give a shit, right? Because as long as your world is untouched, nothing else fucking matters." DiNozzo seethed.
Looking back up at Abby through the window, Gibbs attempted to draw on the peace that she always gave him because right now his emotions were starting to simmer.
"You're assuming things about Abby and me, if you think every moment we had together had been like the ones in the photos... you would be wrong." Gibbs pointed out to Tony.
Tony laughed sarcastically at him. "How did it feel?" He asked.
Confused, Gibbs didn't respond.
"How did it feel to hold your son and daughter when they were born?" Tony asked as he took one more step closer to Gibbs.
Looking at how Tony was invading his space, Gibbs didn't say anything as he stood his ground.
"Huh?" DiNozzo pressed. "How did it feel to watch them take their first breaths? Were they tiny and did you get to see how they looked like you? How did it feel, Jethro, to be there on the first day of your children's lives with their mother who... I'm going to assume you loved with your whole heart?" Tony chuckled. "See, that part, I'm not so sure of. I mean there were beautiful women who flirted with you, right? Like you mentioned last night too, you didn't have to try. It was easy for you to get with women if you wanted to. But you were trying hard to conceal your relationship with Abby this whole time, so who's to say that you never fucked them so no one would ever suspect you had a thing with Abby, huh?"
"Fuck you," Gibbs said under his breath.
Tony only smiled. "I don't know if you were with Abby then, but I remember pulling up to your house one night and you know what surprised me?"
The marine bit back a reply.
"I came to talk with you one night. I pulled up and I see Allison Hart standing in the living room with you. I didn't think much about it because to my knowledge, you were single. I had no reason to suspect that you ever had anything with Abby, who I considered my sister. Anyway, I watched you get close to Ms. Hart. It was dark but I could tell you were close enough that she probably could smell the coffee on your breath." Tony smiled.
Gibbs didn't say anything.
"What, no response? Remember, if you're going to lie – be specific. You taught me that. Another rule." Tony continued to smile. "You may have had a busted shoulder then and had your arm in a sling, but I doubt that didn't sway her, right? Because the handsome Special Agent she was after was inches from her. So close that I'm sure she could taste it. If you were with Abby then, it sure as hell didn't look like you were the faithful type now that I think about it."
Again, Gibbs remained silent as he attempted to hold onto the peace Abby gave him.
"What were you willing to do to keep Abby a secret, Gibbs? Even though no one suspected it, did you have to play your part of an available agent? Did you fuck Allison that night, just so no one would ever find out about you and Abby?" Tony asked as he glared at the Marine in front of him.
"After all of that, you didn't stick around to find out?" Gibbs said coolly.
Raising an eyebrow, Tony didn't respond.
"I don't need to explain myself to you but if you need to know, yes, I was with Abby then. Yes, I got close to Allison that night. Close enough that I could have kissed her. Close enough that I could smell her perfume. Yeah, I got close to her, DiNozzo." Gibbs smiled back at him. "What I'm sharing with you right now, is something I told Abby about the night Allison left my place. When it comes to our relationship, we don't hide anything from each other. I may be a lot of things Tony, but I never cheated on Abby. I know what you think of me. You even said so last night when we were talking. You thought the reason why Abby and I separated at times was that I fucked up. Now, you think I would sleep with someone else just because Abby wasn't there or because she wouldn't know?"
Tony shook his head. "You picked and chose what you wanted to follow. Who better to break your own rules but yourself. What do you expect me to think?"
Stepping up to Tony, Gibbs starred him down. "I'm sorry that my rules may have prevented you from having a life with Ziva sooner, but you have one with her now. I'm sorry that you think the worse of me, DiNozzo, but I never even for a split second ever wanted anyone else when I was with Abby. I may have broken my own rules for her, but I never broke her heart by sleeping with someone else when I was with her." Gibbs responded sternly, in hopes that Tony would back off.
Maybe it was the alcohol from the night before but it was obvious that Tony was angry with him and he, as much as he tried was starting to let his own frustration seep in. Tony was undoubtedly feeling betrayed that he had to hold back his feelings from Ziva, while his boss had been seeing a co-worker for years. In silence, the men faced off. Both stood up for the relationships they had with the women who were unaware of what was happening just out the window.
Again, Gibbs tried to put the blame for their heated exchange on the alcohol but he couldn't help but meet Tony's simmering scowl with his own fiery glare.
"Just drop it, DiNozzo. We both have something that means a lot to us now. I can't change the past. Don't you get it?" Gibbs attempted once more to keep the already tense situation from escalating.
"No, you can't change the past. I'll always be the lucky father who never got to be there when his daughter was born." Tony replied sarcastically, which cause Gibbs to clench his jaw to prevent himself from saying anything to him. "Rule 12 made Ziva and I hide our feelings for years. Rule 12 made us pretend as if nothing happened and your fucking rule 12 was probably what made her think that I was better off not knowing about Tali." DiNozzo added coldly.
Drawing on his training as a sniper, Gibbs held on to the last sliver of restraint from losing his cool as he continued to listen to Tony put the blame on him for losing precious moments with his daughter.
"Whether it was your rule or not, I lost time with my daughter Gibbs. I come here to look for you to help me find Abby and what do I find instead?" Tony forced a smile. "I find out that this entire time that rule 12 didn't keep you away from being happy. I find out that you weren't as alone as we all thought. This whole time, you were with Abby. Loving every moment you had with her, moments I would have loved to have had with Ziva. Oh, but this fairytale came to an end when she got pregnant right? What happened? Did you send her away so no one would know that you got her knock-"
"Stop." Gibbs seethed through his clenched teeth.
"What? All the carefree secret moments came to an end when you found out you were going to be a daddy? Suddenly, the most classified secret that Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs had kept for twenty years was going to be revealed and you wouldn't allow that right?" Tony asked.
"You don't know what the fuck we were going through." The Marine responded as his ability to keep himself restrained began to waiver.
"How would we know, Gibbs? You never told us shit."
"It was always about Abby and me, not us and everyone else. What we had was ours and no one else needed to know." Gibbs added a bit louder as the peace he desperately held onto to was slipping away.
"I don't care how much you wanted to keep things between just you and Abby, but that didn't give you a reason to pull a fucking gun on me yesterday." Tony shot back.
"You pulled the gun on me. Not the other way around, I just took from you." Gibbs calmly replied.
"I went for my gun because you were fucking crazy. Did you actually think I would ever put Abby in jeopardy?" Tony asked as he continued to face Gibbs.
"It wasn't for her that I was doing that for." Gibbs hissed back. "You know what Tony; I was there when my kids were born. They were tiny and they were mine. Did you know that their eyes were blue when they were born?" Gibbs said as he stepped into Tony causing him to take a step back.
Tony clenched his fist as Gibbs took another step toward him while the gunny continued.
"They looked like me. Blue eyes and dark brown hair. I was their father so of course, I wouldn't miss their birth for that world." Gibbs emphasized that fact as he drew on his interrogation tactics on Tony, knowing that his words would be like salt in his wounds. He watched Tony's nostrils flare. "I wasn't ashamed of Abby that I wanted to hide her or our babies away. You have no fucking idea what we were dealing with during that time or how much we finally wanted to tell everyone about us. So, you can hate me for my rules all you want Tony, but that will never change the past."
Tony took in a long deep breath as he glared back at the marine before him.
Gibbs smiled at him knowing he was making him frustrated. He knew he should keep his mouth shut and walk away like Abby would have wanted him to, but after all the things Tony had said to him – remaining silent was not an option.
"I don't know what the fuck you want me to do or say, DiNozzo, but you know what?" he trailed off that causing Tony to meet his eyes once more. "Nothing will ever change the fact that I was the first to hold my kids when they were born... and no matter how much of a fuck up you may think I am, at least I can say I was there when my kids were born."
Those last words cut Tony deep and swiftly because in a split second he found himself unable to hold back. In an instant, he shoved Gibbs hard that he caused the marine to temporarily stumble backward. Just as quickly as he got his footing back, Gibbs closed the gap between them and shoved him back just as hard.
This was the spark that ignited the fuse of the bomb that was bound to go off sooner or later.
The time for talking was over for Tony as he rushed Gibbs in an attempt to get the upper hand early. His quick attack was countered by a side step that caused Gibbs to simply deflect his charge and shove him away.
"You better stop now, if you don't want to get hurt, Tony," Gibbs said as he watched Tony shoot him a fierce glare.
Without saying a word, Tony quickly walked up to him and threw a few hard and fast punches that Gibbs was deflecting from him. Being unable to hit Gibbs, Tony's frustration grew as he attempted to throw more wild punches at him.
In the cabin, Abby was smiling at Ziva as she was listening to her talk about her life with Tali when out of the corner of her eye, she caught the glare of Gibbs's watch. Turning her attention to the light that flashed at her, she finally saw what was happening near the corral. Caught by surprise that her marine and Ziva's husband were getting into a fight she could only watch for a few seconds. She watched Gibbs deflect a couple more punches and then with one quick reaction she watched her marine plant a hard right hook across Tony's face that caused him to fall to the ground. In an instant, Abby rushed from her seat at the table.
"Shit!" Abby said as she went running past Ziva and her kids that were playing with their puppy on the floor.
Unaware of what was happening, Ziva quickly got up from her chair and ran after Abby who was already over the patio railing. Quickly shutting the door behind her, Ziva hopped the railing after Abby and looked up to see her husband get up and full-on tackle Gibbs to the ground.
Falling hard on his back, Gibbs's breath was knocked out of him. In a daze he looked up and, in an instant, he felt Tony strike him hard across his jaw. It didn't take long for him to taste the blood. Feeling another blow to his lip, Gibbs regained his breath and in one move he was able to grab Tony's shirt and pull him hard toward him. In a split second, he landed a quick blow across Tony's mouth.
Feeling a hard hit, Tony stumbled back and quickly got to his feet. Gibbs stumbled to his feet after him and just as quickly closed the distance between them again. Tony lunged for his throat but instead one of his arms was captured by the marine. As Abby and Ziva came running up to them, they watch Gibbs make one quick movement with Tony's arm and heard a crunch that made them pick up the pace to the men that were still fighting.
Just as they got to the men, Tony rushed Gibbs again dropping him to the ground. Then, just before Gibbs could strike back at him Abby dropped herself over her marine while Ziva lunged for his hand that was ready to land another hit on Tony. Ziva dropped her knee on Gibbs's arm which still clenched a fist that was meant for her husband's already bleeding face. Abby placed her hands on the chest of her marine in an attempt to get him to look at her. Instead, he saw past her and only wanted to continue the fight with that man that was getting to his feet behind her.
"Baby, look at me," Abby said out of breath as she tried to draw Gibbs's focus to her.
His blue eyes still shot daggers at the man who wiped the blood from his brow.
"BABY! LOOK AT ME!" Abby screamed again as she forcefully turned his face to look at her.
With his chest rising and falling he looked at Abby who seemed to have appeared out of thin air to him.
"Come on, asshole... get up!" Tony yelled.
Still pissed, Gibbs attempted to get up but the women held him down.
"Tony shut up!" Ziva yelled as she pinned Gibbs's arm to the ground, afraid that he might break free and get to him once more.
Turning his attention back to Tony, Gibbs tried to get up once more. Instead, Abby used her whole weight to press him firmly to the ground. Her dark green eyes met his dark blue ones as she placed both hands on his chest, which still rose and fell while the adrenaline pulsed through his veins.
"Baby..." She said softly as she lowered her face to his, to prevent him from looking at Tony. "... look at me. L.J., look at me." She whispered as she felt his breathing begin to calm down. "Baby... stop." She said quietly as he finally shut his eyes and rested his head on the ground he was laying on.
Nervously, Abby continued to press her hands against his chest as she tentatively looked up at Ziva who looked worried that one more thing might re-activate the marine they had pinned to the ground.
Gibbs lay quietly as he regained control of his breathing. He focused on Abby's hands that were still pressing on his chest, so he could think of anything else other than getting up and going after Tony again. Taking long-drawn-out breaths he tried to grasp at the peace that always came from the presence of the woman that had her hands on his chest. After a few quiet tense moments, his eyes fluttered open.
"You okay?" Abby whispered as their eyes met again.
"Yeah..." Gibbs breathed.
Silently, Abby noticed the cut on his lip and the blood that filled his mouth. Scrunching up the sleeve of the button-down shirt she was wearing in her hand, she wiped the blood from his lip. Ziva watched quietly as Abby calmed her marine down and stopped the bleeding from his busted lip.
"Ziva and I are going to let you go, okay?" Abby said calmly.
Gibbs quietly nodded.
Looking at Ziva, Abby gave her a gentle nod indicating that it was okay to let him go. Hesitantly, Ziva loosened her grip on his hand and removed the knee that she used to pin his arm to the ground. Abby leaned back and allowed him to lay on the ground for a moment unrestrained. Nervously, she looked at Ziva who had got to her feet and was looking down at her.
Still feeling the remnants of his rage coursing through his body, Tony watched as Abby kept her focus on the marine that still was down. Tasting his own blood in his mouth he tried to spit out the taste of iron. Taking a breath, he was set to say something else but he caught the gaze of his wife. Her slow head shake caused him to bite his words as he spat out blood onto the ground again.
Taking a breath, Gibbs sat up as Abby carefully watched him. She watched for any signs that might indicate that he would be triggered again but to her relief, he seemed to have regained control of his emotions. Together they rose to their feet as Ziva made her way over to her husband.
Although she wasn't sure what started the fight, Abby was certain that if given the chance her marine had the ruthless capability of ending it. She never liked so much negativity in her life and she especially hated it when all the bright things she loved about her marine grew dark. She knew there were times when he had to be intimidating and times when the trained killer within activated but that still didn't make it easier or okay. She knew his hands had taken lives before, whether it was in close combat or by his rifle. But for her, his hands could convey the most delicate touch and his arms were the safest place she could ever be. Yet, he still remained a killer trained to eliminate enemies with or without a weapon, but that's not what scared her today. Her fear came from the sudden reminder that no matter how many times she could keep the monster lurking within from reaching the surface that it still was there and that was one thing she didn't want to ever take control of him. The monster within is what kept her safe but like today, it could also hurt those closest to them. Over the years she learned that with one touch, she could send the monster back to the depths from which it came. Now, she hoped she had done just that, so they could fix whatever was left of the friendship that imploded here today.
"What the hell happened?" Ziva asked as she approached her husband.
Wiping the still trickling blood from his brow, Tony replied. "He got his ass kicked, that's what happened."
"Fucking idiot..." Ziva mumbled as she noticed the blood in his mouth as well.
"Why did you hold him back anyway?" Tony asked as his furious eyes met his wife's calm ones.
"Because he was hurting you and you were getting your ass kicked, Tony," Ziva said as she looked up at him.
Tony chuckled. "I had him. Look at him, he's not the badass Marine he thinks he is."
Ziva shook her head. "He may have a busted lip but he's not the one with a broken wrist right now." She seethed at her husband.
Tony looked down at his wrist, noticing it was out of place. With the amount of adrenaline pumping through his veins, he never notice that Gibbs had dislocated his wrist.
"Fuck." Tony breathed.
"That's why Abby and I held him down, to protect you..." Without warning, Ziva took his wrist and quickly pulled it back into place which caused Tony to cry out in pain. "...idiot," Ziva said under her breath.
Abby silently reached for Gibbs's hands which had clear signs on them that he had landed some hard punches across Tony's face. Quietly, he let her take his hand as he attempted to not look at DiNozzo who was still a bit agitated.
"I don't care who started it, but dammit Tony apologize now," Ziva demanded.
"Never apologize; it's a sign of weakness." Tony chuckled. "What rule was that again Gibbs? Oh right, Rule number six."
Taking in a quick breath Abby turned and faced Tony. "There are no more fucking rules, Tony!" She raised her voice which caused Tony and Ziva to be taken back by her sudden outburst.
Tony and Ziva stood in silence as they watched her take a step closer to them.
"There are no more rules, okay? Just say you're sorry, the both of you." Abby said as she turned to face Gibbs who only dropped his gaze from her.
"Of course, there are no more rules for you," Tony muttered, causing Abby to turn back around to him and Gibbs to finally look back at him.
"What?" Abby asked confused.
"Isn't that right, Jethro? No rule ever applied to her, right?" Tony added.
"What are you talking about?" Ziva asked Tony who continued to look at Gibbs who stood behind Abby.
"While we all followed his rules, there were none that kept you away from her." Tony smiled as he spat blood out of his mouth again.
Ziva shook her head. "Are you serious, you started fighting over rules?"
"What rule might that be?" Abby asked as she turned to Gibbs.
Spitting blood from his own mouth, he replied softly. "Twelve."
Abby exhaled as she shook her head. "Rule twelve... that's what started all this?" She asked Tony.
"Well Abby, if you haven't noticed the rest of us followed Rule 12 even when you were doing more than just dating your boss... oh, I mean co-worker," Tony replied sarcastically.
"Stop it," Ziva warned Tony.
Abby glared at Tony. "You want an apology, is that it?" She asked as she stepped closer to him. "Well, here you go Tony. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I met my best friend twenty-four years ago. I'm sorry I fell for my best friend and became more than just friends overnight. I'm sorry Tony, that I loved him. I'm sorry that we both hid everything from all of you." Abby's tears began to fill her eyes. "I'm so fucking sorry that we both loved each other so much that we were scared of what would have happened if some twisted fuck out there found out how much we loved each other. I'm sorry, that I chose to keep him a secret just as long as he kept me a secret but we did that not because of some fucking rule, but because we both wanted to keep each other safe."
Tony took a deep breath as he felt the anger and hurt in Abby's voice.
"Tony... I'm sorry." Abby whispered. "What I have with Gibbs was never about anyone else. It was only about us."
"Yeah, well your fucking prince in shining fucking armor has some twisted way of protecting you," Tony added as he felt like he needed Abby to know what happened yesterday. "He held a gun to my fucking head yesterday, did he tell you that? What about the fact that he held a knife to my neck?"
"I told you why I reacted that way," Gibbs said coldly and he stepped closer behind Abby.
Nervously, Abby noticed the tone of his voice which caused her to turn and face him in hopes that she could keep him from getting into another fight with Tony.
Tony chuckled. "If you haven't noticed Gibbs, I have a daughter too and I never once pulled a gun on you when she was around. As long as you can justify your actions it's okay, right? As long as you got the beautiful woman in your bed and the pretty little kids, were nothing but shit to you."
"Say something else DiNozzo, so I can break your other fuckin wrist." Gibbs threatened Tony.
"Yeah? Come on let's go, asshole." Tony said as he stepped closer.
"STOP IT, THE BOTH OF YOU!" Ziva yelled which caused everyone to stop for a moment but again, it didn't take long for her husband to break the silence.
"Some of us aren't living a fairytale, like you, Gibbs. Some of us actually don't live perfect lives like-"
"Is that what you fucking think, that I'm living a perfect life?" Gibbs said as he attempted to pass Abby. "You're fucking stupid, DiNozzo. This is why we never told you shit, about us!"
"At least I don't pull guns on my friends," Tony added as Ziva stepped in front of him before he could get any closer to the Marine she and Abby had to hold back earlier.
Looking over her shoulder, at Gibbs and Abby is when she noticed something about the couple. He may have been the relentless Marine that could turn deadly when he allowed himself to, but there was something even more powerful that he was no match for... her.
Silently, she watched Gibbs attempt to step up to Tony but in what seemed like an instant she saw Abby place her hand on his chest. She watched as Gibbs's glare at Tony instantly turned to Abby. Whatever it was that he was going to say, caught in his throat as he looked down at the woman who stood in front of him. Ziva continued to watch as their eyes met and without having to say a word Abby stopped him in his tracks. It was as if she had absolute control over him. Her hand resting on his chest, just over his heart seemed like it was what pushed the raging monster back in its cage. She watched as Gibbs took a deep breath and how his expression seem to settle the more, he looked at Abby.
"Baby, take a walk," Abby whispered.
They watched as Gibbs took in another deep breath and quietly nodded as he stepped away from her. Silently, Abby watched him as he slowly began to walk toward the lake in the distance. As he walked away, Ziva silently wondered if this was a glimpse of the peace that Abby had given him over all those years, they had known each other. She assumed that even when they were in a relationship or not, Abby had this simple power over him. That with a single touch or look, she could take away all that tormented him and calm the raging seas that stirred behind those ocean eyes.
However, Tony had to have the last word, so he shouted after him. "Next time, your girl won't be here to protect you, gunny."
Gibbs stopped in his tracks which made Abby worry.
"L.J. - keep walking." She ordered him as he obeyed without question and continued to walk away from them.
Turning her attention back to Tony, Abby walked quickly up to him and stood face to face with him as Ziva looked on.
"How you could say that?" She asked as she searched his eyes.
"Abs-" Tony tried to speak but was instantly cut off by her.
"You want to know why he's so overprotective of our kids?" She asked. "He. Lost. Kelly."
Tony stood in silence as he felt a sense of regret finally hit him as he heard her name.
"He lost his wife and daughter, Tony." Abby's eyes filled with tears. "Now, I don't know what it feels like to lose someone close like that and I never want to know what it feels like to lose a kid. But he knows exactly how that feels. He understands the pain that Jimmy felt when Breanna died. He also understood how Tobias felt when he lost his daughter." Taking a deep breath Abby's tears fell.
Ziva sadly looked on as her friend painfully continued.
"You may have this idea of him that he doesn't care or feel but he does, Tony. He will never show you but he feels everything. I know, because I've spent the last twenty-four years with him. Even after knowing him for so long, it was still hard for him to tell me about Shannon and Kelly." Abby smiled through her tears. "When I told him I was pregnant, he cried. He cried because he was happy, he was going to be a father again, but then he couldn't be happy for long because he felt as if he had put me in danger just for being pregnant for him."
Tony's rage began to subside as his friend shed tears as she revealed what they kept hidden from the rest of them.
"You don't know this, but once we tried for a baby." Abby giggled through her tears. "After the bomb went off at NCIS, when you and Ziva got stuck in the elevator." She looked at Ziva who seemed hurt by her admission. "We thought we were lucky to be alive. We got back together and for some reason, maybe it was the trauma of surviving the explosion but we felt like we wanted a family. We tried for a baby and nothing happened." Abby forced a smile as she wiped away her tears. "We didn't say it, but we were hurt that we didn't get what we wanted then. While for the rest of you everything may seem normal about us, underneath it all, we were devastated. Behind my loud music and jokes and behind his focus on his job, we were both sad because all we wanted was to be parents. The first time I found out I wasn't pregnant, I started to get nightmares. I started to feel alone."
Taking a deep breath Tony dropped his gaze from Abby.
Drawing in a slow shaky breath, Abby waited for Tony to look at her before she continued.
"I'm so sorry if my life with him ruined yours in any way, Tony. I'm sorry if rule 12 took something away from you and Ziva, but know this... when I got pregnant, I was terrified because we weren't even trying for a baby. It just happened. I was scared but I thought about both of you when I left. I thought if Ziva could raise her daughter alone for a few years..." Abby turned to Ziva who had tears filling her eyes. "...I felt like I could do it too." Turning her attention back to Tony she took a deep breath. "You see Tony, our life together wasn't always days at the beach and we didn't always make each other laugh after working all day. After my kids were born, he may have been there with me but eventually, he had to go back to work."
Abby chuckled as she dropped her gaze from Tony. Looking at her feet she sniffed back her tears.
"I wish you knew how much it hurt, every time he left me with our kids. I wish you knew how many nights I cried when he wasn't there with us because he still had a job to do. He couldn't leave his job, not even for his kids." Forcing another smile through the tears that streamed down her face she turned her attention back to her quiet sad friends. "I pushed him away. We had arguments and I told him how much I hated it when he left. So, I told him to stay away. He tried to visit but I didn't want to see him. All I ever wanted was him and I ended up pushing him away. Don't you get it, Tony? These past four years hurt so much. I was raising my babies when McGee called me one time to tell me about his suspicion about Gibbs and Sloane. Do you have any idea how much that hurt to hear when I was with my kids? McGee didn't know I had twins for Gibbs and that night Tim called I wished I had told him. Because maybe he would have just shut the hell up about Sloane. I didn't want to hear about her." The tears continued to stream down her face. "Then, when we started talking again, he told me they never had a relationship but knowing he kissed her, still hurt."
"Abby..." Tony whispered as he attempted to stop her from reliving every painful memory she would rather forget.
Abby shook her head and continued, "Tony, I'm sorry he pulled a knife and gun on you yesterday, but he pulled a gun on Jimmy and Breanna once too." Abby noticed her friends raise their eyebrows. "Yeah, Jimmy knew about us. They came to help us with our babies one night and Gibbs is so protective of our kids that he got scared when they came walking into my place without knocking. He instinctively went for his gun and covered his kids." Reaching out, Abby gripped Tony's hand. "If you ever lost a child Tony, can you honestly tell me that you wouldn't protect Tali at all cost just so you won't ever lose her?"
"I'd kill for her... I'd die for her," Tony whispered.
Smiling Abby looked up at her friend as she let his hand go. "If any threat ever comes near my babies, I won't stop him. I have a Marine and for the sake of my kids, I won't think twice to use him. As parents, we would do anything for our kids but for those of us who already felt the pain of losing a child... I think we would stop at nothing to never feel that again." Abby said as she turned to look down at the lake where her Marine was quietly sitting, leaning up against the log near the shore.
"Go to him, I'll watch the kids," Ziva assured Abby as she too stepped back from Tony.
Quietly, Abby began to turn and make her way toward her Marine.
"Abs, I'm sorry," Tony said softly.
"I'm not the one you should be saying that to." She said as she wiped the last of her tears from her eyes. Turning, Abby looked at Tony once more before walking away. "If you think Gibbs & I lived some sort of fairytale you should know this. For us - even happy endings... are never enough."
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"The Spider"
"I did select 'drama' for the genre of this FF (smiles), so I had to 'stir' things up a bit. Anyway, as always thanks for your reviews.
The Kreative Kreature, did mention to me that it would be good to drop episode mentions of things I refer to in this FF - since this
is turning out to be a collection of everything that ever made me ship Gabby, so I'll do that now. I look forward to your reviews."
- The Gabby Effect -
"Childs Play"
Thanksgiving at Ducky's and Gibbs places a kiss on Abby's cheek.
*The actual kiss was cut, but when you watch closely, you can see Gibbs clearly go in for a kiss.
*screams* - they should have kept it in for sure!
"Trojan Horse"
Abby talks about her 'first time' with McGee and Ziva.
"Til Death Do Us Part"/"Extreme Prejudice"
Explosion at NCIS. Gibbs saves Abby.
"Recovery"
Abby has nightmares. Calls Gibbs.
