A/N: With the last chapter I had altered the tags in the story a bit, and actually linked Hermione and Snape as a pairing (that wasn't a thing in 2016 I guess). I don't know if that messed with anyone's alerts, but if it has, and you missed the last chapter, you'll want to go back and check it out. We're still on the wholesome train this chapter! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Chapter Seventeen
She had written him back.
Of course she had, he thought to himself with a shake of his head. He knew she would. Yet it felt odd, holding her letter- a former student's letter- in his hands. Odder still, he realized that he had been awaiting her reply, a constant waiting that had left him growing increasingly impatient and troubled.
He read the letter again.
Master Snape,
It will undoubtedly irk you to no end to find that your letter happened to reach me on the morning of my nineteenth birthday. To say it made a wonderful start to my day would be an understatement; you see, I had begun thinking that I would have to admit defeat to your stubbornness once again and reach out first. I was overjoyed to find that you seem to have come around to the idea of being my friend. I am looking forward to annoying you from a distance, where your sharp retorts will not cut as deeply.
As far as our incident is concerned, I have been brought up to date on the latest events, and I agree- it is best to be vigilant while they remain so close. I was gifted some fine items to help protect myself, and I'm well aware that the castle is deceiving in its seemingly safe walls. I am taking careful precautions not to put myself at risk. I can only hope you are taking the same level of precautions, as it is not me they wanted, after all, but you.
How are you? Your letter failed to mention, I assume by deliberate exclusion. I know you can take care of yourself, but Harry has told me you've been on edge lately at the slow developments. I understand your concerns, but do try to be nice to him; he's trying his best to help however he can. It worries me, the way he talks about you being so tense, and I hope you aren't neglecting your health in lieu of all the stress.
You told Harry to make sure I'm eating; I am, but I'm finding it difficult to sleep. Mrs Weasley knitted me a wonderful blanket spelled to help with rest, and it did help last night, but it isn't perfect. The dreams were muted, but they still woke me- I just didn't wake up screaming in cold sweat like I'm used to. It is a much needed improvement, though, and I hope that the more I use the blanket in combination with meditation, the more it will help.
And yes, I am keeping up with my Occlumency. I meditate every night to clear my head and I shield myself when my anxiety spikes. My magic is still mostly responsive, and whenever I have had difficulties, your 'pull' technique has helped me out of it. I cannot express enough gratitude for your teachings- I shudder to think of what I would be going through if it weren't for your help! And before you give me a sad story about how I shouldn't be thanking you again, I would like to tell you to kindly take your self-pity and shove it. I am grateful to you, more than you can know.
My classes are indeed favorable, as I'm sure you are well aware. I adore Arithmancy in particular, and am working on quite an extensive projection that will carry me through the end of the year. The new Defense teacher, however, is a bit... lackluster. I would say he ranks between Professors Lockhart and Quirrel as far as getting any productive teaching done. Ginny and I have taken up self-study in that department again to fill the gaps in our lessons. I know it has always been difficult to hire for that particular teaching position, but I would have hoped that the recent need for that knowledge would have helped inspire someone to step forward. Evidently it did not.
I do not wish to receive a scathing remark on the length of my letter similar to the ones you so kindly added to my essays, so I will end it here. I eagerly await your response, as succinct as I'm sure it will be, and I do hope you tell me more about how you yourself are faring. For instance, how goes the potioneering? Any major developments on that front?
Hermione
It had been her birthday. He hadn't realized, and he smirked at her assumption that he would be annoyed to hear it. "Nineteen," he whispered. He had a nineteen year old former student vying for his friendship, and as uncomfortable as that could have made him, he found himself rather unbothered by the idea. She was young, yes, but he himself was a considerable amount younger than Minerva, and not much older than Granger when they began their friendship. If anything, Granger's youth was a breath of fresh air. Heaven knows he could use a bit of youthful optimism in his life.
Her concern for him was endearing, as well, though that did make him uncomfortable. The only people that had openly cared about his wellbeing in the last decade had been Albus, Minerva, and perhaps a few other staff members to a lesser degree- certainly no one on the Dark Lord's side had given much of a passing thought to his health, not even the Dark Lord himself. Yet Granger- he just couldn't bring himself to refer to her as Hermione, as she seemed to prefer- appeared to have a genuine interest in how he was faring, and had apparently been disappointed with the lack of information he had provided her. It seemed he would have to open up a bit more in his response; the least he could do was inform her of his growing list of potions orders from Poppy.
He glanced over the letter once more. She favored Arithmancy; that seemed fitting, from what he knew of her. He had cared for the subject as well. In fact, he remembered unpacking an old Arithmancy textbook of his onto his shelf, and an idea came to him that she might enjoy the loan for her project; like many of his textbooks, it was filled with his notes, addendums, and additions.
He stood to locate the book, and as he glanced over the shelves his eyes landed on a guide for Defensive Strategies, which brought his thoughts back to the other class she had written him about. His mind already settled on sending her one book, he pulled this one from the shelf as well, flipping through the pages. Would this one help her as much as the Arithmancy tome? He scanned some of his own notes, scrawled tightly in the margins, and he realized with a start that his defense notes could potentially do more harm than good, especially in a self-study setting. He closed the book with a snap, momentarily ashamed at his former fascination with the dark arts. Former in practice, at least; he would be the first to admit that their potential still held his interest, if only now in theory.
Still, though... he looked down at the cover of the book. It was a very helpful manual. The text was well written and informative, and in truth it would help in a self-study setting, his potentially harmful notes aside. He was sure he could find a clean copy in town, and he found himself wanting her to have it the more he considered it. Resolved, he decided that he would venture out in search of a new copy, free of his additions, and send it to her with the Arithmancy book- it could be a birthday present, he decided. After all, friends gave birthday presents, so it was only fair.
A week after her birthday, Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table at breakfast, Arithmancy equations hovering in front of her as she speared a melon from her fruit bowl. She was so focused on her projection that she was taken by surprise when a large bundle dropped onto the table unceremoniously to her left, shaking the wooden surface as the delivery owl grazed the top of her head with its wing and flew off without a pause. She tracked its flight for a moment, incensed, and turned back in time to dodge another owl, diving down to drop a letter next to the bundle, and she had to quickly grab it to keep it from falling into her fruit. She had just begun to recover from her surprise at the rapid delivery when she saw the familiar Daily Prophet paper headed her way and hurried to grab that, too, lest it make an unplanned dip into her breakfast as well.
Blowing an errant curl the first owl had knocked loose out of her face, she glared up at the ceiling full of retreating birds. How she missed the muggle postman sometimes- while there was a mystical element to owl delivery, a postman had never dropped her mail in her breakfast.
Over her annoyance, she turned to find out what had made her so popular.
She glanced at the front page of the paper, but when she saw it was a rather mundane bit of news about ministry promotions, she set it aside and picked up the letter instead. When she recognized Ron's writing on the front of the envelope, she sighed- it was the second time he had written to her this week, and she wasn't sure she could handle reading about his work struggles right now, not when she was so overwhelmed with her own stresses. Guilt washing over her, she sat the letter down to read after she returned to her rooms. That left the package which, she realized as she picked it up, came with its own letter. Her eyes widened when she recognized the script, and as her hunger dissipated in excitement, she gathered the two letters, bundle, newspaper, and arithmancy work into her arms and retreated to Gryffindor tower post haste.
She wasn't sure why she felt the need for privacy to read Snape's letter and open the package, but as she sought out her four-poster bed and drew the curtains, she felt comforted by the solitude. She pulled both items close, and slipped her finger under the seal. This letter was quite a bit longer than the previous one, and she smiled as she began to read.
Miss Granger,
You have correctly assumed that I was unaware of your birthday when I sent you your letter, and am pleased to hear that it made your day all the better. I am amused you consider my lack of communication thus far to have stemmed from stubbornness; I simply had nothing to say at the time. Would you have rather I sent a detailed account of the monotonous ongoings of my potions lab, brewing the same potions day in and day out, a never-ending cycle of calming draughts and pepper up potions breaking my time between sleep? I suppose that probably would interest you, now that I consider it. Needless to say, writing about it would have been worse than living it, so your letter had to wait.
Similarly, I did not write of myself because I had nothing of interest to speak on. Your concern for me is appreciated, and I assure you I am taking care of myself these days far better than I have in the past. As far as my interactions with Potter, I will make an effort to maintain civility in his presence, if only for your sake, but know that I do grow weary of the ministry's lack of progress. This situation of ours is causing me quite a few sleepless nights and more trips to Azkaban than I ever thought possible, and the least I would like to see is some modicum of headway. The Malfoys are being generously forthright with their information now that the plea bargain has been finalized; however, every lead we seem to find takes us to a dead end. The radio silence of the missing men is worrisome. I know them; the more pent up MacNair feels, the worse his inevitable outburst will be. Please remain vigilant at all times, and I assure you I will do the same. I do not know what these protective items are that you received, but while I do hope they work, relying on them too heavily could lead to trouble. I only ask that you stay cautious.
How often are you putting your shield to use? I should have cautioned you before- and I apologize for my oversight- but you must be careful not to overuse it. Your mind needs to experience your anxious thoughts in order to process what has happened, and overuse of your shield during the day could be affecting your sleep as it's the only time your mind is able to break your trauma down. If you instead alternate between shielding and meditation, it will be easier for you to work through your anxiety in a healthy way. I would not argue against the occasional calming draught either, as long as you are careful not to overdo it. I am glad to hear the blanket is helping, and am confident the dreams will fade in time.
You asked about my potioneering- I have but one client as of penning this letter, however it is quite a large client, as it is Hogwarts itself. Minerva has seen fit to hire my services to keep the Hospital Wing fully stocked as well as any other needs that may arise. I had already been stocking the school during my employment, so it was an easy transition, and comes with a paycheck similar to that of my teaching salary. It's enough to get by on for now, but I will need to procure other clients as time goes on if only to fill in the gaps of time the orders from the school dwindle.
I am sure you are wondering over the parcel I have included with this letter. When I read of your work in Arithmancy, it reminded me of my own Arithmantic studies, and I still had in my possession a particularly helpful book on the subject, heavily penned with my own annotations and findings. I considered its use to you and your project and have decided to send it off, to a friend, as a loan. I hope it helps.
I cannot for the life of me remember who Minerva hired to fill the Defense position, but seeing as how they're failing to educate, I have also included a book on defensive strategy- consider it a belated birthday present. I find the book to be a fine source for learning, and hope that it aids you and your friend in your studies.
I would not have needed to add scathing remarks on your essays, by the way, had you known how to stay on point. Your letter was well written and concise and because of that, I have nothing scathing to remark upon.
Let me know if the books help.
SS
Hermione stared blankly at the letter for a moment after reading it before she dropped it quickly and grabbed for the parcel. Sure enough, when she tore open the brown paper she found herself holding two books- one well used, the other brand new. She held them both in her hands, studying the covers in awe, before setting the defense book aside and opening Snape's old arithmancy book. His scrawling annotations covered every page, adding information and thought processes to the text, and before she could stop herself, she found herself reading his notes with interest, excitement growing in her chest.
It was safe to say she hadn't expected a gift from him when she had teased him about her birthday, and to not only receive two separate items from him, but to have one be so intimately personal, loan or not, spoke volumes on how comfortable he had become with her. This act, more than any word he could have written or spoken aloud, showed her just how open he was being, and it warmed her heart and flushed her cheeks as a pleasant happiness settled in her chest.
By the time Ginny had roused for the day and pulled her from her reading, Hermione had started taking her own notes, her letter from Ron all but forgotten.
Master Snape,
I fear you may not have understood me during our intense discussion when we last saw each other, but it was my intention to give you permission to use my given name. Seeing 'Miss Granger' in your handwriting makes me feel like I'm being sent a detention slip. Hermione would feel much more natural to me.
I, of course, do not expect you to warm up to the idea of me using your given name anytime soon, so until you say otherwise, Master Snape it will have to be.
It is difficult to put into words exactly what your loan and gift meant to me; it was with great surprise and elation that I received the books, and I cannot thank you enough for thinking of me so! Though, I feel that excess gratitude may be an unwarranted subject on the matter, and as much as I would love to continue to express my thanks, allow me instead to discuss the use your kindness has provided.
The Defensive Strategy guide has done wonders in improving our self-study lessons, and we've gathered some other classmates into a sort of study group, much like in fifth year, when Harry led Dumbledore's Army, but without the help the Room of Requirement offered us. Do you think Professor McGonagall would allow us access to the dueling club? It would be wonderful to be able to focus on this extracurricular on a regular basis. The added work has helped keep my mind off of... other things, and it tends to wear me out considerably. Between the blanket's charm and the physical fatigue I go to bed experiencing, the dreams are becoming more and more faded. I have stopped relying on my shield as much as well, per your recommendation, so I'm sure that's helping as well.
The Arithmancy book... you have no idea how much such a loan meant to me. Your notes helped me through a problem I've been stuck on all week, and have given me countless ideas to better my projection. I cannot thank you enough for your generosity. I assure you, it will be well cared for in my possession, and returned in good time and condition. I didn't know you cared for the subject so much! I would love to have an Arithmantic discussion with you at some point in the future; as you're probably well aware, intellectual debates are few and far between with my other friends, and the novelty of the idea excites me.
I'm pleased to hear you are being kept busy even if it's dull work. It relieves me to know that you are the source of the hospital wing medicines, as I know we all are in the best of hands. How are you getting the potions to the school? I haven't seen or caught word of you being up here. Do you floo them in?
Why do you have to go to Azkaban? Why is it your responsibility? Surely an auror could take your place. I don't like what that place does to you. I hope you don't feel its effects every time you go. Of course, it is good that we're gaining information, as seemingly unhelpful as it is. Something will make a difference, I'm sure of it.
Thank you for opening up in your last letter. It made for an enjoyable read. I don't for a second believe you were simply waiting to write to me, however, and hold fast to my opinion that you were simply too stubborn to pick up a quill.
Hermione
Miss Granger,
If you wished for me to refrain from using your proper title, it would have been best to refrain from telling me how much it bothered you. I have no motivations to change my habits now.
I am pleased to hear the books are serving you well. Your thanks, while appreciated, is not necessary; it was only my intention to see you properly educated on your final year. In the past, the use of the dueling club was simply unnecessary- however, I see how it could be of benefit to you now. I would broach the subject with Minerva. I am sure she will agree with me and allow you access. Though, do try to hold back on troublesome occurrences within your new club. If my memory serves me correctly, the "D.A." was a glorified menace to the school- albeit a necessary one at the time- and as much as I enjoy a harried Minerva McGonagall, I am no longer at liberty to experience her frustrations firsthand and find it a waste of effort on your end.
Have my lectures taught you nothing? I would have thought after the years of potions classes that you would retain such information as to the validity some concoctions may experience under magical travel. I simply walk the potions up to the school, to ensure this does not happen. You have not seen or heard of me doing so because I know how not to be seen- and when I do visit, it is at very inconvenient hours.
My presence in Azkaban is an unfortunate necessity I must bear the burden of for the time being. I alone know how to speak to the Malfoys to get what we need, to ensure them that their information will be used towards their release. It will get better in time, and some day in the near future I hope to never visit that place again.
Someday soon, I will take you up on that offer of an Arithmantic discussion. I don't often get to speak on such things, and it would be nice to have a conversation with someone who appreciates the nuances of the practice. For now, I leave you with this: I find Agrippa's method to be a vastly superior alternative to the more often taught Pythagorean. Can you tell me why the former is better in potions experimentation, and what subclass of Gematria would pair nicely with it? Please keep it concise.
Master Snape
Master Snape,
I see we're back to taunting.
Fine, don't use my name. But could you drop the 'Miss?' I feel like that's a fair compromise. I did not miss the subtlety of your sign-off, and while it did garner a laugh, I missed the simplicity of the initials. I hope they make their return.
The D.A. was no more a menace than your house's Inquisitorial Squad, I'll have you know! At least we were trying to better the situation, not escalate it. Anyway, Professor McGonagall gave us permission to use the dueling club for our meetings, and I'm pleased to say it has grown significantly in size since then. As there is no reason for secrecy, we have an open door policy twice a week for practice and have been seeing familiar faces from all four houses, in all grade levels. It is honestly the best thing about my school year to date, being a part of such a group at a time like this.
On that note, do you have any other reading recommendations we could use?
Consider me properly shamefaced at my forgetfulness about the potions. As not all concoctions are volatile in magical transportation- in fact most aren't affected at all- it slipped my mind. I understand your cause for extra care, but still wonder when on earth you are roaming the halls of the school. Does Madame Pomfrey appreciate the late night interruptions, or do you drop the potions and run? I must admit I am disappointed your visits are so inconvenient for me to happen upon you. The school isn't the same without your brooding stare and billowing cloak, and I imagine a glimpse of what once was would bring my mood up that much more. I hesitate to say it for fear of more taunting, but I do miss our face to face interactions.
I noticed in your notes your unfair hatred of the Pythagorean method. Simplicity has its time and place, you know. To answer your question, the subclass of Albam would be the most appropriate in the terms of potions brewing alongside Agrippa's method, as Albam breaks up the alphabet into two equal halves, alternating the letters in an even exchange that would suit a potions recipe quite well as it allows for easier projection alterations based on the quantity of ingredients. In other words, it allows the brewer to adjust the original recipe while still retaining the accuracy of the original projection. I would argue that using the Pythagorean method would simplify the alterations further, but no doubt you will counter with Agrippa's high customizability and specification, which I will concede does make for far more accurate projections, especially in terms of experimental brewing, which should answer your other question. I hope that was concise enough for you.
What I would like to ask in exchange, is clarification on what you meant when you doubted the truth of an absolute value, and the common flaws you say lead to said inaccuracies. I look forward to hearing your response.
Hermione
Severus sat in front of the fire, letter in hand, the flames in the hearth keeping the chill of the autumn air at bay. It was well into October now, and not much had changed in his situation, save but one thing- his regular correspondence to Hermione.
Her latest letter, as their previous ones had been, was filled with arithmantic theories of which she wished to garner his opinion. It was refreshing, being able to discuss so openly with someone else the intricacies of the subject he enjoyed otherwise silently. It was far from the only topic of their correspondence, of course; he found humor in the retelling of her more personal frustrations she would share with him, and he couldn't help but to taunt her in his replies, as she so elegantly called it, something she seemed to enjoy sending back to him in goodwill. These exchanges had quickly become the thing he most looked forward to in the day; he had little else of excitement happening at the moment besides Hermione's letters.
While he still refused to address her by her given name in writing- her frustrations with his reluctance only delaying his eventual giving in- he had taken to referring to her by it in the privacy of his mind. She had been correct to point out the awkwardness of the much more formal title she had held as a student of his; while normally that title would carry on throughout time, she was unique in her friendship with him, a concept he was quickly coming around to. The level of informality they had broached before the attack paled in the openness she displayed in her letters, and he responded in what he hoped was a welcoming acceptance to such vulnerability.
He wasn't sure what he had expected when he wrote to her a month ago; perhaps he was unfairly expecting scrolls of teenage whingeing, complaints about her friends and schoolwork, maudlin angst so thick that he might as well be back at the castle, surrounded by the whims of adolescence again. It could have been the driving force of his reluctance to write to her in the first place. Of course if he had given it a moment's thought he would have known that wasn't Hermione. Despite her age and despite her situation, she tended to look on the bright side of things, leaving the disparity to her classmates as she pushed determinedly through to the finish line of her own impossible goals. Her tenacity rivaled his own, and the more willing he was to see these things, the more he understood the praise and adulation she received from the staff of Hogwarts. Perhaps Minerva was right- perhaps he had been too blinded in her friendship with Potter to have seen anything of the sort. Regardless, seeing it now, he found himself pleasantly surprised that he of all people attracted such a person to his side.
He perused the letter once more, noting in his head what points to respond to, and with a grin at one well-jabbed taunt, he stood to compose a reply.
Carden Vayne sat at his desk in candlelight, penning a letter of his own. A bit of parchment lay nearby, an update from the three men he had sent back to England. While not entirely pleased with the events that had been transpiring, the update had given him a myriad of ideas to work with, and his instructions should put into action a more prominent return of his own.
He had initially not considered the traitor Snape to be a threat, but upon learning the extent of the man's assistance with the ministry, he felt it to be in his best interest to incapacitate the spy sooner rather than later. The three had informed him of the girl as well, that seemed so taken with Snape, and who happened to be a friend of Potter's. She could be a useful tool in ridding himself of them both, if he used her right. In his letter, he encouraged these men to capture her, to use her as bait to enact their revenge on their former comrade.
Should the girl be killed in the process, so be it. She was an opposite to their ideals, a living detriment to their way of life. They would be better off removing her now, before her influence spread farther than it already had. Her death, were it to happen, could send a powerful message to those in opposition. While he did not expressly request her death, he would not forbid it.
The chaos of their outbursts, while a hindrance at the time of their departure from England, now painted in him a world of possibilities. His scheming rich with blood and flames, he also encouraged them in this, adding that with his return to England he should bring others to share in the destruction.
He himself would not be participating in such lowbrow acts of violence. No, he had larger plans for himself. Plans that would remain secret, until the time to act was right.
He was a patient man, after all. He could wait.
AN2: Reviews make my heart sing!
