"Are you actually considering saying yes?"

Apollo hummed noncommittally. "I'm thinking about it."

"Just because this is the same woman who saved us from Bendix back in '92 doesn't mean that we owe her shit," Midnighter grumbled. "Especially not enough to justify joining a team."

"I'm not saying it does," Apollo replied. "But this could be an opportunity to help people."

"We already help people."

"To help more people."

"With a team of people we don't know," Midnighter retorted. "We do better on our own."

"We would get to know the team eventually," Apollo replied mildly. "And we could always leave if things don't go well."

"I can't believe you're honestly considering this," Midnighter said, shoving his hands deep in his pockets and hunching his shoulders.

"Why are you so against it?" Apollo asked gently. "Jenny seems like a capable woman, and from what she's said about the other people she's recruiting, they know what they're doing as well. This could be a chance for us to do good on a larger scale. Isn't that what we both want to do?"

"Yeah, but not with a team," Midnighter retorted. "Or have you forgotten about the first time we were on?"

He could practically see the blow hit. Apollo's shoulders straightened, and his spine stiffened.

"Of course I haven't forgotten."

His voice was cold and sharp. It had been a low blow and Midnighter had known it. Apollo had been the one in charge of their old team, on that one mission they'd almost all died on. Midnighter didn't think a day went by when he didn't think about them. Of course he hadn't forgotten.

But Midnighter just couldn't understand why he would want to go and join another team now, not after what had happened to the first one.

"Is that why you don't want to join Jenny's team?" Apollo asked, making the connection quickly and asking far too gently after Midnighter's own harsh words. "You're worried the same thing will happen to them?"

"It's a dangerous job, even if you don't have a psychopath directing your missions. People die."

"And yet we still do it," Apollo replied gently. "And we still do it together, even though either of us could die at any time."

Midnighter scoffed. "We're not going down easy. Neither of us are dying any time soon."

"Perhaps, but we're not immortal. We fight anyway because we think it's worth it. So do these other heroes Jenny has recruited. And we'd be stronger together than we are apart."

Midnighter looked at Apollo for a long moment, then groaned loudly. "You want to do this, don't you?"

"To be honest? I do. But I won't join unless you want to join too. We do this together or not at all."

"We do this together or you pout at me until I give in and we do it together."

"If you really don't want to, then I'll respect your decision," Apollo said. "But I think you're more interested in the idea than you want to admit."

"I think you're a bastard," Midnighter grumbled. "Why people think I'm the only bastard here, I don't know."

"Because you're more obvious about it, while I can be polite if I want to be," Apollo replied. "Sometimes, there is value in playing nice."

"Says you," Midnighter retorted. "Fine. We can tell Jenny that we'll try out her team. Trial period only, though. If we don't like it, we're out."

"Of course."

"And only if they actually know what they're doing. I'm not tagging along with a team full of idiot babies."

"I don't think Jenny would create a team of idiot babies."

"Point still stands."

"Then we'll make it clear to Jenny."

Midnighter sighed deeply. "You're lucky you're hot."

Apollo grinned his crooked grin that always made Midnighter fall in love with him all over again. "Is that all I have going for me?"

"Oh, definitely. I'm just with you for your body."

Apollo laughed. "I suppose it makes me a hopeless romantic if I admit that I couldn't care less what you look like."

"Are you saying I'm not hot?"

"You know I'm not saying anything like that at all," Apollo scolded lightly. "You're the most attractive man I've ever met. But that's not why I love you."

"You're a sap."

"I happen to know you appreciate it, even if you pretend you don't."

Midnighter groaned. "I guess this means I should take back the bit about only being with you for your body?"

"Well..." Apollo drawled, "you could demonstrate instead."

Midnighter grinned. "I think I can manage that."

They lay together quietly that night, neither of them sleeping. Neither of them really needed to. That didn't mean they didn't enjoy sharing a bed.

"Do you actually think the team will be okay?" Midnighter asked into the silence.

"I think we ought to give it a try," Apollo replied. "And I think we could use friends. It would be nice to have someone else who has our backs."

"I'm not trusting anyone on the team until they've proven themselves at least ten times."

"I wouldn't expect you to."

"And I reserve the right to quit if they all suck."

Apollo snorted. "Alright."

"I'm sorry about earlier," Midnighter said. He knew Apollo would know what he meant.

"I know," Apollo says, kissing the top of his head tenderly. "I'm afraid too."

Midnighter almost protested the term, but there was no use. Apollo could always see right through him.

"The more people we care about, the more people we can lose."

"Perhaps," Apollo allowed. "But I would rather run that risk than be alone."

Midnighter only remembered his life after Bendix turned him into what he was. He didn't know what he'd been like before. Maybe he had a family, or maybe he'd always been a bitter bastard and a loner. He didn't know. But he did know that, ever since he could remember, the only person he hadn't lost was Apollo. He'd let himself care about their old team, too stupid and naïve to know better, and then they all died. After that, he and Apollo hadn't stayed anywhere long enough to make real connections, but there had been a handful of people who had been kind, whom Midnighter had become fond of despite himself. He'd had to leave all of them.

There was a chance that, with this new team, he'd find a group of people he didn't have to leave. Midnighter wasn't going to bank on it.

"Hey," Apollo said, leaning over and pressing his forehead against Midnighter's. "This will be alright. We'll make it through. We always do." A small smile crosses his face, and he adds, "We've been together for as long as either of us can remember. That's got to count for something, doesn't it?"

It said a great deal about them, Midnighter thought, that he looked over his life as one full of loss, and Apollo looked at his as one with a single constant.

"It does," Midnighter said. "It does count."

"And we'll stick together," Apollo added. "You're not getting rid of me. No matter what happens with this team, we'll still have each other."

It wasn't a promise Apollo could make. Joining the team could kill them. Worse, joining the team could kill one of them and leave the other alone.

"We'll still have each other," Midnighter agreed anyway.

Apollo hummed in a satisfied sort of way. "I'll find Jenny Sparks tomorrow. We can meet the rest of the team she's put together."

"You want this," Midnighter said. He himself felt a slight pull at the thought, but not like Apollo did. Apollo wanted it more.

"I do," Apollo said simply. "But I want you more. I want you most. No matter what happens tomorrow with Jenny, I'll stay by your side above everything else."

Midnighter scoffed quietly. "As if you could get rid of me."

Apollo smiled. "As if I'd ever want to."

"Sap."

"You love it."

Midnighter nestled closer to Apollo. "I love you."

Apollo pulled him against his side. "I love you too."

They were together. They would stay together, even if they joined a team. They would have each other's backs, and they would make this work, no matter what they had to do to ensure it.

They'd made it that long. That had to count for something, didn't it?