Chuck gave Sarah one last lingering kiss before she boarded the plane for Berlin. She kissed him back with feeling. "Have a great mission and come back to me," he choked out as he bit back his tears. He quickly turned away and walked back to his Tesla. "A month without Sarah, maybe I can crash this thing and spend the time in a medically induced coma," he mused. He brought up his schedule and went over his plan of attack. An hour in the gym every morning. Therapy three times a week plus support group for Spouses of Stroke and Spouses of Traumatic Brain Injury. Nightly call to Morgan. Saturday Youth Coder's Club in East LA. Sunday dinner with Morgan and Alex. Shortcut for Suicide Hotline programmed into phone. One day at a time, Bartowski.

Chuck drove to his appointment with Dr. Barrowman at USC Neurosciences. "How's my favorite black swan today?" Dr. Barrowman asked cheerfully.

"It feels like I'm losing her all over again, Johnny," Chuck replied. "I'm feeling a deep craving for whiskey and cheese balls."

"Hmmm, so 'agony mix' today, then?" suggested Johnny.

"Definitely," Chuck agreed as he took off his clothes and donned his gown. He climbed into the MRI machine and lost himself in the music.

After the scan was complete and Chuck was dressed, he asked, "Do you think you could send me copies of Sarah and Morgan's last scans? I want to try some filters to see if I can find a good model for the path of the memory loss."

"Why the sudden interest, Chuck?" Johnny asked pointedly.

"I just want to see if I can find a way to get Sarah's memories back," Chuck replied, with emotion.

"And why did you wait until she left town to start this project?" Johnny asked.

"Because I didn't want Sarah to think she wasn't good enough! I didn't want her to think I was trying to replace her with 'Old Sarah'!" Chuck exploded.

"So is she good enough or are you trying to replace her?" Johnny asked patiently.

"Arrrghhh!" Chuck thumped his head against the wall a few times. "OK, point taken. But what if we never get back to living as husband and wife? What am I supposed to do then?"

"What if you had lived as husband and wife for years and then found out she was having an affair and wanted a divorce? What would you do then?" Johnny asked.

Chuck collapsed into a chair. Tears streamed down his face as Johnny continued, "People change, Chuck. It's inevitable. It's not usually as dramatic as what happened to Sarah but every person who stays married has to find their way back to their partner again and again. It takes work, sometimes very painful work."

When Chuck was able to pull himself back together enough to look at Johnny, he saw the sympathy and concern in his friend's eyes. Johnny handed him a card saying, "Here. Dr Burai specializes in grief work for people whose spouses have suffered serious brain injuries. She's a good friend. I can get you an appointment tomorrow if you like."

Chuck nodded, saying, "Thanks doc. Yeah, I'll see Dr Burai."

He found his way to the hospital chapel and called into the office to let them know he wasn't well and needed to take the rest of the day off. He closed his eyes and let the grief hit him. "They were right all along, weren't they?" he said to himself. "My wife is gone. Oh, Sarah." He remembered the picture he drew on the train. He remembered all his hopes and dreams. He remembered Sarah on her knees, reaching out as the train pulled away from her car. He remembered and cried for hours. Occasionally someone else would join him in the chapel but none of them stayed long.

Finally, he picked up his phone and called his sister. "Hi Chuck, how's everything in California?" Ellie asked brightly.

"Not good. Today I finally accepted that the woman I was married to is gone forever," Chuck replied.

"Oh no!" Ellie's voice rose, thick with fear. "What happened?"

"Nothing new happened. Sarah left for a trip and challenged me not to contact her for a month," Chuck replied, dully. "I'm at USC Neuro. I asked Johnny for scans of Morgan and Sarah so I could take a crack at getting her memories back and he gave me a reality check."

"I see," Ellie replied thoughtfully. "So you're letting go of the idea that you can somehow get Old Sarah back?"

"Yeah, that't about the size of it," Chuck said. "I've been in the hospital chapel for..." he checked his watch. "Three and a half hours now. Maybe I should just move in here for the next month. I could get some monk's robes and instead of prayers I could cry three times a day. I hope I could cut it down to three at some point anyway."

"Oh, Chuck," Ellie's voice was heavy with sympathy. "You know there are grief counselors who specialize in working with..."

"Yeah, Johnny said he'd get me an appointment with Dr Burai tomorrow. I should probably call her office to verify that," Chuck added.

"Well, we're always here if you need us," Ellie said.

Chuck thought about Devon, Ellie and baby Clara and a fresh wave of grief rolled over him. "Thanks, Ellie," Chuck whispered. "I'll be in touch."

After verifying his appointment the next day with Dr Burai, Chuck called Morgan and explained what he'd been doing.

"You know what, buddy?" Morgan said. "You shouldn't be driving in your condition. Let me pick up Alex and we can drive your car to our place. You can spend the night on our couch bed if you want."

Back at Morgan and Alex's they had a dinner of sizzling shrimp. They set up a board game and Morgan finally asked, "Alex told me I was being paranoid but I've gotta ask. You were the one who asked Sarah to give me a stake in the company, right?"

Chuck smiled, "Alex was right. That was all Sarah. I knew if I suggested it you wouldn't believe you'd earned it. Not that I WOULDN'T have found a way to get you stake eventually. God knows you deserve it."

"So I guess I'm one third as valuable as Josie then?" Morgan said.

Chuck laughed, "No, I honestly wanted to give her 5% too. She's at LEAST three times better at emotional manipulation than you, though."

Morgan nodded with a grin, "Truth. I can see why you wanted her, I can't imagine anyone could do a better job keeping our geek zoo focused and delivering. Still that woman scares me."

"Me too, buddy," Chuck admitted. "We're going to have to keep an eye on her."

The conversation turned to Alex's career and the pros and cons of joining the FBI vs Law School. Eventually Alex asked, "So Chuck, are you letting go of Sarah completely? As in you're single and unattached?"

Chuck shook his head. "No I'm single and pursuing a relationship with a focus that borders on stalking. The woman I'm pursuing just happens to be a younger clone of my dead wife. So it's complicated."

Alex's brow furrowed in thought. "Ok, that's weird but I think I get it. Morgan and I are here for you both whether or not you're a couple."

"I really appreciate that, Alex," Chuck said sincerely. "And don't worry, I do NOT share your boyfriend's attitude toward pajamas."

That night he dreamed of Old Sarah. She hugged him, kissed him, and told him, "Don't give up on the new me, Chuck. Whether she knows it or not, that woman desperately needs you."