The jet touched down at Bob Hope Airport and Sarah shook herself out of her light doze. She climbed out, picked up her bags and saw a figure in a trench coat standing there, watching her closely. She realized it was Chuck and her heart leaped, then hit a power line and fried for a moment. She shook it off and dropped her bags, ran up to him and helm him tight, picking him up and spinning him in a circle. Then she set him down and looked up into his familiar crooked grin and kissed him passionately.
"Welcome, home, Sarah," Chuck said with quiet warmth. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked haunted. He touched her nose playfully.
"It's good to be home," Sarah said with intensity. She grabbed her bags and double timed through the terminal. Spying Morgan's Camry, she dropped her bags into the open trunk and slammed it shut. Then she nimbly slid into the back seat from one side while Chuck did the same from the other. Chuck buckled up and she leaned into him.
He gave her a tight squeeze, then admonished her, "Seatbelt, Sarah, your poor head has suffered enough." Sarah rolled her eyes but did as he asked, then reached over and gripped his hand tightly. "Sorry, but I'm going to need constant physical contact for..." she tried to think about how long before she could let go. She couldn't picture the letting go scenario so she lamely finished, "a while."
They didn't talk on the ride back to their old apartment. They just held hands and traded glances. It was strained and weird but it was enough for the moment. When they got there they both thanked Morgan quietly but fervently. Soon they were back in their old apartment and Sarah stopped to take it in. As her eyes drifted, some of the objects sparked emotion. She was too overwhelmed to identify which emotion. There was what looked like a huge black silk tablecloth covering an unfamiliar object where the television set used to be. She looked at Chuck and raised her eyebrows as she gestured at it but he just shook his head.
"Later," Chuck said firmly. "I promise I'll explain soon, just not quite yet. For now if we want to watch a show we'll have to stream it on the computer."
She took his hand and led him to the couch. She held his face in her hands and remembered her desperation in Thailand. She started to cry and without conscious thought whispered, "Come back to me Chuck. Please come back. Without you I'm just a spy."
He folded his arms around her and held her close, whispering. "Where ever you go, I will always be there to help you. Trust me, Sarah. I'm here for you always." he was crying too as they held each other.
Eventually, Sarah dried her tears on Chuck's shirt and said, "I told you I needed physical contact. I mean every inch of me needs to touch every inch of you."
They parted and stood facing each other. Each watched the other as they both slowly disrobed and built a pile of neatly folded clothes on the couch. When they had finished they reached out and touched palms, tentatively. It wasn't long before they got a lot less tentative. Sarah wrapped her arms and legs around Chuck and he carried her to the bedroom as they kissed. Chuck threw back the covers and rolled them both onto the bed. They spent a long time exploring each other's body and finding wonder in it. There were orgasms but they were mere punctuation. They played a symphony of touch using their bodies as instruments that went on through the night and into the day.
Sarah had had her share of sex and had considered 'making love' as just another way to describe the same thing. She was surprised to discover that, in fact, they had almost nothing in common. She discovered there were entire continents they never even hinted at in seduction school.
As she lay nestled in Chuck's arms, a memory came into focus. They were in a bed but it was swaying back and forth. "Chuck, did we do this in a sleeping compartment on a train?" she asked.
"Heh, yeah, we stayed in that compartment for days," Chuck remembered fondly. "The porter kept reminding us they had a dining car but we had no intention of getting dressed."
She idly looked at his hand interlaced with hers. "What's wrong with this picture?" she asked herself. Then it hit her and she sat up and looked into his eyes, "Chuck do you still have our wedding bands?"
He smiled, "Of course I do, my silly sexy spy. Want to see?" Sarah nodded eagerly and Chuck tromped down the hall to the living room. She heard the swish of rough silk and he came back quickly. "Ta daaa!" he held out his hand, proudly displaying the rings.
Sarah winced, remembering her nightmare. Chuck looked concerned and she shook her head, admitting, "Sorry, you said that in a nightmare recently. Too soon to hear it again."
Chuck still looked concerned and she decided it was better to rip off the band-aid than to save the story for later. "In my dream, you found a legal loophole and annulled our marriage. You immediately married Josie and showed me your new wedding band saying, 'Ta daaa!'"
Chuck was aghast, "Married Josie? I must have had a death wish. That woman needs a man with a mind like hers: 'A maze of twisty little passages, all alike.'"
Sarah giggled, "True. That's some kind of nerd culture reference, isn't it?"
Chuck nodded with mock seriousness, "Three points for Gryffindor."
"Oh God, please stop, have mercy on my poor brain," Sarah held her head in mock distress.
"Seriously, though, how are you holding up? Morgan told me about your headache. He was really worried about you," Chuck looked at her eyes intently.
"Much better, actually. Thank you Doctor Chuck!" she grinned.
"Hmmm," Chuck was thoughtful. "Would you mind letting Dr. Barrowman do another scan of your brain? I don't think I could handle it if you started slipping into dementia."
Sarah nodded aggreeably, "Better safe than sorry. Meanwhile...," she brought the hand with the rings closer to her and examined them closely. Then she looked up at Chuck. "Would you be OK with officially putting these back on?" Chuck nodded solemnly. He took her hand and slipped on her ring saying, "With this ring I thee wed."
Sarah was crying a little as she took his hand in turn and put his ring back on saying, "With this ring I thee wed." Then she smiled mischievously, adding, "You may kiss the bride, everywhere." She spread her arms in invitation.
It was dark out again when they finally finished their improvised concerto of touching. They showered and changed into clothes. Chuck took her hand and led her to the living room, saying, "OK, I promised I would explain this. This was my project while you were away." He pulled back the silk cover to reveal a tamaya dedicated to her. Sarah took a moment to appreciate the beauty of of the antique Shinto shrine before the central picture hit her like a blow to the solar plexus.
The central picture was a radiant Sarah on their wedding day. The candles beside it were burned quite low. There were a pair of hairsticks, a 9mm magazine, and a throwing knife grouped together. There were a number of other small objects but her eye was drawn to an empty space just above a flat rock with some words carved into it. Sarah looked closely and read: "John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
"That's where the wedding bands were," Chuck said hoarsely. He cleared his throat, "I figured it would be a long time before you wanted to visit the apartment, if ever. I planned to come here whenever I was feeling sorry for myself to remember that Old Sarah took the intersect and flashed until her brain burned to rescue me." He bowed his head as the tears ran down his face.
Sarah guided him to the couch and had him lay down with his head in her lap. She caressed his face and murmured quiet words of comfort. It was a long time before Chuck was able to stop crying and breathe evenly.
"So that's how I spent the first two weeks of my month without Sarah," Chuck finally said softly. "I can dismantle it if it bothers you."
Sarah stared at the tamaya and thought about it. She had bits and pieces of Old Sarah coming back to her but she sensed that the whole woman was a much bigger deal. "No," she said thoughtfully. "I want to keep it. To be honest, I think I need Old Sarah a LOT more than you do."
Chuck brought himself up into a sitting position and took her by the shoulders, staring into her eyes seriously, "I never want to make you feel like you're not good enough, Sarah."
She smiled sadly, saying, "I appreciate that Chuck but this has nothing to do with you. The woman I was trusted and loved and LIVED more than I ever dreamed possible. I held you at arm's length because I was scared, and by giving into my fear I made myself a smaller and sadder person than I could have been. I resented you for wanting me to be more when I SHOULD have given myself a swift kick in the ass for letting myself be content with less."
She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed tight, whispering into his ear, "Thanks for helping me be more then and for helping me find my way back to more now."
Eventually they let go of each other and Sarah took a deep breath. She had an admission to make. "Chuck, I'm not proud of this, but I have to come clean." He cocked his head and waited, he clearly had no idea what she was about to say. "I know that when you were debriefed by the CIA, they took away the intersect. I thought that without the intersect you were just some nerd who could never hold a candle to a real agent in the field. I thought less of you for it. When Casey said he wanted you to join us in a field op, I scoffed and assumed it was a ploy to get us back together."
Chuck held up a hand saying, "Okay, I get it but there are a few things I need to come clean about myself."
Sarah was not about to get sidetracked, "Casey really respects you as an agent and I should have taken him at his word. Oh God, wait, there's more," she reddened with embarrassment but wasn't about to give herself a chance to dodge. "Casey and I were having a celebratory dinner after our second op wrapped. I was feeling really good being back in the field and started wondering what Casey would be like in bed." She looked down, not daring to meet Chuck's eyes as she finished, "He caught me drooling and called me on it. I tried to make it about him but he didn't give an inch and I had to go back and apologize for being a pig." Sarah closed her eyes and waited for Chuck to say something.
"Hey, I understand," Chuck said. "Casey is a FINE specimen of a man. If I swung that way, I'm pretty sure he'd catch me drooling over him too."
Sarah wasn't expecting THAT. She opened her eyes and stared at Chuck. His eyes were full of mirth. He was LAUGHING at her. She wanted to slap him but quickly realized that would make her even more ridiculous. Her tactical reflexes searched for options and she came back with, "Well don't think this gives YOU a free pass to drool over another woman, Mr. Bartowski."
Chuck held up his hands in surrender, "Roger that, ma'am. You get this one for free."
Still wondering at Chuck's lack of neurotic jealousy, Sarah speculated, "Casey didn't tell you what happened in Berlin, did he?"
Chuck snorted, "Casey doesn't gossip. Good thing, too. He's talked me down off of plenty of ledges since your accident. If he ever told you the stupid things I've said about you over the past couple months..." Chuck shook his head ruefully. "Let's just say those weren't my finest hours."
"John has been a really good friend to us both," Sarah reflected. "I'm really glad he's still part of the team. By the way you'll never guess which bounty he wanted to drag you in on."
"Juan Ramirez, of course," Chuck said immediately. "Casey has a big appetite. For mission objectives I mean. Although I've always wondered what he was like in bed..."
Sarah grabbed a pillow and pummeled him with it.
