The moment she offers to take Louis's dictaphone and he says no, Donna knows there's a hidden reason for it. So she patiently waits for him to leave his office and as soon as he does she goes inside to gather the object from his drawer. She knows he'll probably be pissed for it, but she can't bring herself to care. She rewinds a few minutes and what she hears freezes her blood.

It's him, it's Harvey's voice, coming right out of the small object. She feels the tears filling her eyes as his words come out.

"You think me opening up about having panic attacks is manipulation?" She hears the rest but her mind is stuck in the fact that Harvey is having panic attacks, and she wonders since when and why he didn't confide in her and how the hell she didn't notice and that's when it hits her, and she just knows.

He's been having them since she left him. It's not that she hasn't thought about what her leaving him would do to him, but she honestly thought she was doing what was best for her and for him too, because that eternal dance of denial wasn't healthy. She knows she wants more, has known for a while and that night in her apartment when he said she was different, when he literally went ballistic trying to save her, she really thought he'd be finally ready, but he wasn't, probably never will be. He told her he loved her but took it back as soon as he was given the chance and she just couldn't stay by his side anymore, loving him in secret while it was clear he'd never feel the same way.

So she went to Louis and it was the fresh start she needed. She really enjoys working with him and he's a good boss, it's easy, no feelings other than friendship involved, no complications, no longing looks and pent up tension, no flirting that never leads anywhere, no jealousy every time Scottie or Zoe or any other woman in his life reappears, a simple healthy secretary/boss relationship and she thought that was exactly what she needed.

But what she just heard changes everything, because if he's having panic attacks and she has anything to do with that fact, she would never forgive herself for being selfish and putting herself first.

She plays the recording for Louis and makes it clear that if he dares using it to come after Harvey she's done working for him.

"I'm going home" She tells her boss as she passes him to gather her stuff.

She hails a cab and gives him a different address than her place, she needs to see him, and she needs to see him now.

The doorman smiles at her, not finding it odd at all that she's there, she's been there many times before.

She goes up to the penthouse, and knocks on his door. She hears some movement inside so she knows he's there and about thirty seconds later, he opens.

His hair is wet and he's wearing some gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt, clearly not expecting to be disturbed.

"Donna, come in" He says moving to make space for her to go inside. "Did something happen?" He asks as she stands next to his kitchen counter looking at him.

"How long?" She asks and he lowers his head as he lets out a long sigh, realizing she knows and cursing internally because she's the last person he wanted to find out about his panic attacks.

"How did you find out?" He asks back and she shakes her head again, it is so like him to deviate from her questions.

"I asked first, how long Harvey?"

"You know how long" His voice is barely above a whisper and he still can't bring himself to look at her. They are standing at a safe distance from each other, they don't get too close anymore, they can't allow it, the temptation is too much to resist lately, the whole Liberty Rail case changed them, they were able to hid behind their masks before, both pretending they never thought about the other time, when in all true they did, more than any of them would like to admit.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her tone shows some hurt, she doesn't intend it to but she can't help it. For years she's been his strongest support, the person he could always lean on, his best friend, and now they are like two complete strangers, and she hates it.

"We're not close anymore, and I don't want you back out of pity" His explanation seems rational to him, he knows that if she found out about the attacks she'd go back to him in a heartbeat, but he doesn't want her to, when she comes back to him it has to be because she wants to.

"You pitying me was what brought us here, remember?" Her words are not meant to be accusatory or hurtful but he feels like she's twisting a knife in his gut anyway.

"I never pitied you Donna, that night was a mess, we both said things we didn't mean"

Like when you said you loved me and you didn't mean it, she thinks it but she can't say it outloud, he needs her now, and fighting over things that cannot be fixed won't take them anywhere.

"I'm sorry Harvey, I never meant to hurt you, let alone cause you to have panic attacks" He snaps his head at her and his eyes widen. Of course she'd blame herself, this is the exact reason he didn't want her to find out in the first place.

"This isn't your fault Donna, you shouldn't blame yourself, you leaving me was the trigger but this goes deeper, and it has more to do with my issues with abandonment caused by my mother than with you leaving, at least that's what my therapist says"

"I'm glad you're getting help Harvey. I'll talk to Louis, I'll come back to your desk and hopefully that'll help" Her tone is sincere and so is the look in her eyes as she speaks the words.

"No Donna, I appreciate your concern but you're right, you've put me first for years and I can't let you come back, not because of this, I'll be fine, I'm getting help, it'll be fine" He reassures himself and her and she nods, ready to leave but he stops her, grabs her wrist gently so she turns to look at him.

"You're not going to tell me how you found out?" She looks at his hand on her wrist and then at his eyes, she sees hurt, and something else she can't really put into words because it's scary as hell, but she could swear it's love.

"Louis recorded you on his dictaphone to play it for the partners, but he's not going to, don't worry, I made sure of it" He moves his hand from her wrist to intertwine their fingers together, they are standing too close, and Donna swallows sharply.

"You're always looking out for me, even when it's not your job anymore" He whispers the words and she can feel his breath on her lips, it makes her dizzy, and it also makes her want to lean forward, just a few inches and their lips would touch after ten long years.

"I'll always look out for you Harvey, it was never only about it being my job, and you know that"

"I also know I should have told you how" She widens her eyes at him and steps away from him.

"Harvey no, don't do this" She shakes her head at him, because she honestly can't go through this anymore.

"Why not Donna?"

"Because I can't keep dealing with the aftermath of your vulnerable moments Harvey, because I know what I want, it's crystal clear to me, and I also know it's not what you want, but yet, you keep confusing me and every time you do I die a little" The tears flow freely from her eyes now and he comes closer to her again, taking her face in his hands.

"I was afraid Donna, I've been afraid for so long, but you going to Louis made me see that I may as well go for what I want or I'll end up losing you anyway and in a much worse way, I'd rather we go down for trying than for never facing how we feel" He pauses to look into her deep eyes and he sees love reflected on them, but he also sees fear, he's not alone in this, and he wants them to be afraid together, he wants them to try and be happy together, cause honestly he's never loved anyone the way he knows he loves Donna Roberta Paulsen.

"Tell me how you feel about me Donna" He says softly as his breath hits her lips, she parts them open slightly and he has to fight with all of his strength not to lean down, not until he's sure it's okay to do it.

"You already know Harvey" And he does, but he still needs to hear it.

"I need to hear you say it" She takes a deep breath and grabs the sides of his t-shirt, fisting her hands around the fabric.

"I'm in love with you, I've been in love with you for at least the past ten years" He smiles at her admission, and he caresses her face with his thumbs before replying.

"I told you you'd fall for me" He says with a cocky grin that makes her chuckle. "It's a good thing I fell for you too then" She closes her eyes and rests her forehead against his chest, wanting his words to be true more than anything, but how can she?, after everything they went through the past couple of weeks. He lifts her chin with his fingers, needing to make sure she's looking into his eyes as he says what he needs to let out of his chest, he needs her to see the truth in his eyes, that it's real, that this time he's finally ready.

"I love you Donna, I'm so in love with you that I can't breathe everytime you walk into a room, or everytime you smile at me or you're, you know, just there for me. I love your freckles and your red hair and your beautiful smile. I love that you can't cook and that it's the one thing that I can do for you, because you excel at everything else. I love the way you put up with my shit but also how you call me on it and you put me in my place every time I need it, and I don't ever want you back on my desk Donna" Her eyes widen in shock at his admission and he smiles down at her, before continuing.

"Because I want you in my bed every morning when I wake up and I want you here when I come home every night, I want to cook for you, and give you foot rubs and order shitty Thai, and watch stupid chick flics, I want everything Donna, and I want it with you"

"Harvey" She breathes out too shocked at his words to say anything else right now, even if she's definitely wishing she could find the words she's been wanting to say for so many years.

"And for the second time in her life Donna Paulsen is speechless" He says with humor in his voice and she can't help the smile forming on her lips. "I'm gonna ask you this one more time now, and I really hope your answer is yes... That night, were you saying you want everything?" she nods through her tears as she grabs his face in her hands and presses their foreheads together.

"Yes Harvey, I want everything with you" He finally closes the distance between and softly presses his lips to her, it's tender and soft just like he dreamed of so many times, and it's nothing like the first they shared ten years ago after quitting the DA's office, that was passionate and desperate, it was all about releasing pent up sexual tension, this is completely different, it's a promise of forever, it's about love and comitment, so they take their time, softly taking turns to stroke each other's tongue and join their lips. Donna caresses the hairs at the nape of his neck as his arms remain locked around her waist.

He's kissed many women before, more than he can ever count, but nothing can compare to this, this is the woman he loves, this is the woman he wants forever by his side, and the thrill of that is so much more than he ever dreamed of. He used to mock people that fell in love, he always thought they were a bunch of fools for thinking anything could last forever, until Donna happened, until he finally worked up the courage to do something about it, and now he knows, he's certain that this is it for him, he's ready, he wants everything, he wants forever, and he wants it all with his favorite redhead.

A/N Just a fluffly short, one shot that came over me and I wanted to share it with you guys, I'd love to know what you thought of it as reviews are always very appretiated. Hope you enjoyed!