"Sometimes, the best way to help someone is just to be near them."


CHAPTER FOUR

Two months. There was only two months left before graduation. That also meant that there was two months until Saruna could start her wood style training with Lord Third, provided she passed her graduation exam. She'd managed to keep it to herself since that uncomfortable meeting at her kitchen table, but some days she wanted nothing more than to brag about it to Kakashi. They still trained together most nights, and she still couldn't beat him in taijutsu. She wanted to show him she had something he didn't, that no one else had. She wanted to prove to him that she was special. She often considered how egregious it would really be if she just told him. Despite their constant competition, she did trust him to keep a secret. She almost gathered the nerve, but when she ran to meet him on the way to the academy that morning, he wasn't there. The lights were off in his house, and no one answered the door when she knocked. "Strange…maybe he already left," she thought, and reassured herself that he was probably already on his way there. But, the seat to her left stayed empty that day. His absence was surprisingly jarring, and it bothered her so much that at the end of the day she really had no idea what had gone on in class at all. When she left the building, her mother was waiting outside for her. That alone gave Saruna the feeling that something was terribly wrong, because she always walked home with Kakashi. "Mom, Kakashi didn't come to school today," she said as her Mother took her face in her hands. "Saruna, your friend Kakashi's father died. I wanted to come tell you myself, because I know you'd go looking for him straight away." Saruna felt terrible. She spent the whole morning thinking about whether or not she should tell Kakashi about her wood style just so she could rub it in his face. Her mother gave her a hug. "Let's go home, I made your favorite for dinner." Saruna smiled weakly, and they started to walk home.

When they reached the crest of the hill in front of their neighborhood, Saruna looked down at the clearing where she and Kakashi would train together. Normally, he'd be waiting there, leaning up against a post and looking disinterested. The pole looked naked to her without him there. She did see a figure sitting on the steps at the front of the area though. At first, she didn't think twice about it, but did a double-take when she noticed the setting sun reflect off a patch of silver hair. She tore her hand away from her mother's and ran as fast as she could down the hillside. "Saruna, wait!" Her mother yelled after her, silently wishing Saruna had a fraction of her restraint. When she reached him, Saruna was slightly out of breath. She sat down next to him on the step. For the first time in her life, Saruna said nothing. If she knew Kakashi at all, she knew he wouldn't want to hear empty words right now. She wasn't sure what to do, so she awkwardly put her arms around him in a sideways hug. At first, he jerked away. Saruna panicked that she'd done the wrong thing. But, to her surprise, he slowly relaxed and let her hug him. Her mother finally caught up to her. She looked at Kakashi with all of her warmth, of which she had an abundance. Saruna sometimes wished she was more like her mother, so beautiful and and kind. She always knew what to say. "Kakashi, why don't you come with us to our house? You don't have to talk, but please, come with us." Kakashi didn't reply at first, but Saruna reached for his hand and started to drag him along, and he didn't resist. She knew he'd never say it, but she could sense that for once he really didn't want to be alone.

They sat in silence at the table, Saruna and her mother eating their dinner and Kakashi simply staring at his. Saruna's mother dabbed her mouth with a napkin and cleared her throat before looking at Saruna. "Saruna, why don't you show Kakashi to your room? I've put out a spare bedroll on the floor." Kakashi looked up at her, grateful for giving him the opportunity to escape. "Ok, come on Kakashi, I'll show you the way." Saruna brought him to her small bedroom that had her bed on one side and a bedroll on the other side complete with pillows and blankets. "Thanks," he mumbled. "I'm just going to help my Mom with the dishes…" she started. "It's okay, I'll be fine," he replied as he got into bed and rolled to face away from her. Saruna closed the door and went back out into the kitchen where her mother was cleaning up. She got up on a step stool to help her dry the plates. Part of her wanted to know what happened to his father, but she knew that her mother likely would have told her if she thought it was a good idea. "Mom, I don't know what to do to make him feel better," she admitted. It was strange to see Kakashi in such a vulnerable state, as she was used to seeing him up on a pedestal. Frankly, she didn't know how to handle it. "Saruna, it is sweet of you to be so concerned about your friend. I think just simply by being there, you're helping more than you know," she said with a smile. When Saruna went to bed that night, she did her best not to disturb Kakashi and snuck quietly into her bed. She supposed it was a good thing he was sleeping already. She drifted off not long after that.

Saruna awoke sometime in the middle of the night. She always was a light sleeper, but when she realized what it was that woke her up she froze. She heard soft cries coming from Kakashi, who still faced away from her. "Had he been awake this whole time?" she thought to herself. She didn't know what to do. She started to consider her options when she remembered what her mother had said earlier. She had an uncanny way of reading people, and she was usually right about these things. Saruna grabbed her pillow and a blanket and made her way to the floor. She heard the sniffles abruptly stop. She put her pillow and blanket on the floor next to Kakashi and laid down. When her head hit her pillow, she saw Kakashi's eyes wide with shock. Saruna wondered at this point if she had made a critical mistake, since in the three years she'd known Kakashi she'd never once seen his face. But then, she considered what she knew about Kakashi. He never did anything without intention or without thinking of the consequence; if he really cared about her seeing him with his mask off, he would have left it on. She reached out her hand to hold his, and then closed her eyes to go back to sleep. After a moment, she heard him cry again for a few minutes before it eventually turned to snoring.

Kakashi was back at school the next day. This time, he really had already been there when Saruna went looking for him at his house on her way in. He'd sat in a different seat than usual, two rows over from Saruna rather than next to her. She realized when he ate lunch by himself that he was ignoring her. This went on for about a week, before Saruna finally caught up to him on his way home one afternoon. "Hey Kakashi, do you want to train tonight?" She asked hopefully. "No, not today" he replied quickly, before taking an abrupt turn in the opposite direction. She worried that he was mad that she saw his face. She wanted to tell him it wasn't a big deal, that she wouldn't tell anyone, and that it wasn't that great of a face anyway, but he wouldn't even be around her long enough for her to say those things. She decided the next morning, she would get up extra early and hide along his route so that she could corner him. Kakashi left his house about 30 minutes earlier than normal that next morning, just as Saruna had suspected. She waited for him behind a tree about halfway between his house and the Academy, and jumped out in front of him when he arrived to her hiding spot. "Listen Kakashi, I know you're ignoring me. Is it because of the mask thing? If it is that's stupid, because I really don't care what you look like, and…" He interrupted her. "No, it's not about that. I just…I don't...I don't want you to think I'm weak, because I'm not." He said as he looked at the ground with his brows furrowed. Now she understood. It wasn't about the mask. It was the tears she wasn't meant to see. Saruna grinned and smacked the back of his head and continued walking towards the academy. "I know you're not weak, you idiot. You're the strongest person I know." That evening, they sparred together again.

The next two months went by in a flash, and almost everyone had passed the graduation exam without any trouble. All they had to do was a simple clone jutsu, and take a written test with some basic questions about shinobi law and other fundamentals they'd learned over the past three years. The afternoon after the graduation exams, once they knew which graduates would be promoted to genin, their sensei met privately with the Hokage to form their three man teams. All of the graduates sat nervously in the classroom, waiting for them to return and give them their assignments. This was the culmination of their work, and their three man squads would be the shinobi they worked with for a long time and probably the shinobi they would get to know best throughout their career. Despite herself, Saruna hoped to be on a team with Kakashi. She told herself it was so that she could keep an eye on how strong he was getting, but she wondered if that was really true. Part of her just liked being around him. After about an hour, their sensei returned with a list. "I will now be assigning you to your three man squads. Your jonin leaders are waiting outside for you. When I call your names, please exit into the hall. From that point on, you are officially genin under the supervision of your jonin leader." The room buzzed with excitement. The sensei started rattling off names. Some of the teams made a lot of sense to Saruna and some of them seemed totally random, but she was sure that Lord Third had reasons for all his decisions. They had gotten through about half the students when Saruna heard Kakashi's name. "Team 7 will be Kakashi Hatake, Obito Uchiha, and…" Saruna almost started to get out of her seat, expecting to hear her own name next. "…Rin Nohara. Please find your jonin leader Minato Namikaze outside" Her heart sank. Obito had become a friend to Saruna over the past year, but Rin was a quiet, sweet girl without any particular talent that Saruna knew had a crush on Kakashi just like the rest of the girls in her class. She scorned herself for her jealousy and asked herself if she was really any different before she physically shook the thought out of her mind. Kakashi and his two teammates left the room, leaving Saruna what felt like miles behind. Names continued to be called out. "Team 3 will be Might Guy, Ebisu Tanaka, and Saruna Senju. Please find your jonin leader Choza Akimichi outside." Saruna didn't even notice her name had been called until her enthusiastic new teammate had jumped in front of her, exclaiming loudly how excited he was to work together and foster the power youth. She liked Guy and Ebisu just fine, so she supposed it could have been worse. She tried to act like she wasn't disappointed for their sake, and tried to channel some of her usual optimism. They were her new teammates after all, and she had to be her best for them.