CHAPTER EIGHT - MOVING FORWARD

Michael will never be used to seeing Nikita on the medical bed. He kept looking at her and then to his new hand, thinking of all the what ifs that will never happen. It's all done. Him being trapped under that car. Nikita making the hardest decision to cut off his hand to save his life. Him reacting poorly after what happened. Nikita closing off and blaming herself for something she's not at fault of. The deal she made in order to help him regain what he had lost.

Now, seeing her on the brink of death, he would gladly give up his new hand for her. He can live with an incomplete limb if it means having more time with the woman he loves. In a way, he can understand why Nikita did what she did. They're the same in that regards. They would both do anything for each other. It's just Nikita loves with her entire being that she never bothers keeping some of that love for herself.

"It's nanotoxin, yes, but it's not as potent as the ones we found at the Morrisons. I don't think Heidecker intends to kill Nikita", Birkhoff said.

Owen scoffed.

"She's still out, isn't she? What the hell was that then? A stunt?" he snapped.

"A lesson", they all turned to Ryan who is deep in thought. "The Shop is teaching us a lesson. They knew once we found out what they had Nikita do for Michael's hand that we will come after them. They knew we would retaliate so they showed us what they're capable…that they can get to anyone", he said.

"If they can get to Nikita, they can get to all of us", Sean muttered.

That made sense. Nikita has become some sort of an icon in Division. When Percy fell and the Marines were threatening to invade Division, she stepped up, got the agents to follow her and stopped the government from killing everyone. In all sense, she is Division now.

"Will she be alright?" Michael asked.

It's the only question that matters to him. They can all worry about the Shop later on.

"Her heart stopped earlier. After we revived her, the nanotoxins died within her system. We figured that's the only way to cure it since the technology is too new for the medicine these days", Sonya answered.

"So, what you're saying is that the host body must die first for the nanotoxins to die?" Alex asked.

"Yeah…just like that", Birkhoff answered.

That alone is a gamble. Though Division is quite adept with the whole killing-reviving agents, there has never been any guarantee that the agents they killed would come back to life. There is a time frame. If they missed it, there will be no coming back to life for anyone.

Michael let that sink in. Nikita's heart stopped. She did die earlier. They only got lucky and managed to get her back. What if they did not? What if they missed the window? What if he'd lose her without even knowing it?

"Hey…she's alright, okay? She's going to recover and she's going to bounce back stronger than ever", Owen called him out.

It must have been written all over his face then.

"Yeah…you're right", he replied.

He then felt Alex's encouraging squeeze on his shoulder. "She will not be alone", she said.

"Damn right, she won't be. She'll be so sick of all of us that we all will end getting kicked in the ass because she would be so goddamn annoyed", Birkhoff added which prompted them all to laugh.

Michael can actually see it. Nikita hates being coddled. If they all hovered around her, she might do just that to get them all off her back.


She felt a slight pain in her head before she opens her eyes. The familiar beeping sound told her she's back in Medical. She is really beginning to hate that room. When she turned her head, she found Michael curled asleep on the chair. The position alone informed her that he would be sorry when he wakes up for choosing to sleep that way. She tried to talk but her throat hurts.

"Don't try to speak. Just rest", Ryan said. He's sitting on the other side of the bed. "You're going to be fine. The nanotoxins in your system died when your heart stopped. I think he's going to be fine too now that you're out of the woods but…"

Ryan seemed to have age a lot since the last time she saw him.

"…next time you think of something crazy, try and talk to me first. I know I may not be the most approachable person these days but you know you can always talk to me. I will always give you my honest opinion. I will not sugarcoat things for you and you know that. Sometimes, you forget that you're no longer a rogue agent, Nikita. You're no longer alone anymore. We're your family. This family that you managed to gain throughout the years and we know how far you're willing to go for us. Don't you think we will not go through the same lengths as you?"

Nikita blinked back the tears forming in her eyes.

"We will always be here to help you, to worry about you, to be mad at you when you're being a pain in the ass…" she chuckled and her throat burns again. "That's what family is. We will drive each other crazy but we always have each other's backs. So, please…for the love of everything good that's left in this world…do not pull off something like this again without letting us know first. I don't think we can take another situation like this again. I don't think Michael can handle seeing you fighting for your life again. That's all I ask of you…

"Now, I covered for you. No one would know of Division's involvement to those deaths. You're cleared. Birkhoff burned anything that can be traced back to you. Next time Heidecker tries to contact you again, let me know first. Are we clear?" Ryan demanded.

She can only manage to nod and with that Ryan pressed a kiss on her forehead before leaving the room.

It's not like she intends to make them all worried. At the time, the deal with Heidecker seemed to be the only option. It's either that or Michael loses his hand again. She didn't see another way and she went so far she feared she can never go back again. How many did she kill in a span of days? She knew if the team did not arrive at the house, she would have killed the Morrison family. She's that close from losing what's left of her soul.

You have evil inside of you…

Percy's voice rang in her ears. Brandt was the evidence of that…that rogue cleaner too. That evil will always be there inside her and if her control slips even just a little, the monster in her will come out and play.

"He's right, you know", Michael's voice startled her. "I wouldn't be able to handle seeing you like this again, Nikita. I've seen enough of you being inside this room. I don't want to go through that again", he sighed. "I beg of you to not let me go through that again because…if you die, I die, Nikita", he said.

Now, the dam has broken. Tears fell freely from her eyes.

"I'm sorry", she croaked out.

He held her hand and held it tight.

"Honestly, I never knew what I did in this life to deserve your unwavering love. I sure hell don't think I deserve it but I am honored to be the recipient of your love, but please…keep some to yourself, Nikita. Love is not meant to always give. You've sacrificed enough for me…for us. Let me take care of you for once. Let me in. Let me love you", Michael pleaded.

She wanted to argue that he has already done that for her, that if it wasn't for him, she would have been lost a long time ago, but talking hurts so she let him know by pulling him close and pressing her lips on his.

She hopes it's enough to convey how she feels about him. He is the only thing in the world that keeps her sane. When their lips parted, he pressed his forehead on hers and together, they savor the moment.

"Let's leave this behind us and move forward, yeah?" she nodded. "Just like what Ryan said, we're family and we all got each other's backs. We got your back, Nikita…always", he said.


They've let her out of the Medical the next day. She's so glad to be out of bed and the first thing she did is to sweat. She beat up that old bag until her knuckles hurt. It feels good to not carry secrets anymore. She feels lighter.

At one point, Sean even asked to spar with her which she gladly accepts. Alex teased her guy that he wouldn't be able to beat her but Sean was determined so Nikita accepted the challenge. Of course, Alex was right. Sean is a Navy Seal. He's trained to fight like one whereas, Division agents are trained to fight in all kinds of way.

"I really need a training lesson from you. That last one was a killer move", Sean said while catching his breath.

"I taught Alex that one", she replied.

Sean turned to his girlfriend with a look of disbelief.

"Nikita taught you moves and you didn't bother to share?" he asked.

Nikita fought off the smile from forming and raised a brow at Alex. The young girl is smiling while shaking her head.

"I don't think you're flexible enough to handle Nikita's moves, Sean", Alex responded.

Sean now looked offended which made them all laughed. Michael joined the fun and asked her to spar. Nikita is hyped. She's overjoyed to work her muscles again and Michael has always been her match. They always go head-to-head in combat. Sometimes she beats him. Sometimes he beats her. Sometimes it's a draw.

They moved in perfect synchronicity.

When Michael grabbed her arm, she made a twist and hopped onto his thigh before climbing over him like a tree. She wrapped her legs around his chest before turning over, taking him down with her. They both landed onto the mat with her still holding him down.

"That's a new one", Michael panted.

"You know I always have tricks up my sleeves", she said.

"I definitely love to see them", he responded.

She recognized the dark look in his eyes and she quickly released him from her hold. The others applauded and resumed to tease poor Sean. Nikita couldn't be bothered with that. She's now focusing on Michael and that hungry look on his face. She cleared her throat and declared that she should go home to rest. Michael was quick to say he'll drive her home.

Inside the car, they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Nikita had to stop herself from jumping on him, reminding herself that he is driving. Michael, on the other hand, has no problem driving with just one hand as he slipped his other under her dress.

"Michael…" she breathed out as he played her like an instrument…or a Glock, whichever he prefers.

She bit her lower lip and gripped the car seat until her knuckles turned white. He is driving her crazy and the entire car smells like her arousal. He continues to build her up then he suddenly stopped.

"What—" her words died when she saw their house.

"You better be naked by the time I get inside the bedroom", he growled and she didn't need to be told twice.

Nikita went straight to their room and tossed her clothes aside. Michael wasn't far behind and immediately slammed her against the wall before ravishing her with his mouth. She swore she can see the stars just by being touched by him.

"Oh fuck…" she cursed when he pressed his thigh against her center. He'd teased her at the car many times that she's growing frustrated.

Sensing that, he picked her up before tossing her onto the bed. He made a quick undressing in front of her before he sunk to his knees and began building her back up. It didn't take long, of course. She began writhing left and right as she reached her release.

Michael then climbed over her, entered her in one swift motion and she lost all sense in the world. There's only him. There's only the two of them. Everything else does not matter. They're moving forward. They're finally moving forward.

"I love you", she whispered.

"I love you too, Nikita", he replied and together they reached their release.