CHAPTER TWELVE - OLD SELF

The idea came from Alex who had seen a movie she couldn't remember the name of once. When she pitched it to the team, they instantly shot it down. Doing shock therapy on Nikita is unimaginable for any of them. Though it means to help get actual memories back, that would also means putting her in pain. No one wants to see her getting electrocuted.

When Birkhoff did more research on it, the more the idea became plausible. Of course, it would be more severe than ordinary ECT. Amanda pumped her with drugs before messing with her brain. They would need a stronger jolt to reset Nikita's brain and hopefully that would do the trick to get her back.

Michael is so desperate that he's willing to try everything. News has been spreading of important people dropping dead and though, no one has caught wind of Nikita, he knows it was her who did all of that. What he does not understand is why she's targeting those people. He knows that she thinks he is dead. She thinks she is getting revenge for his death but she had killed government officials. Was that something Amanda put in her brain? Did she had Nikita kill those people by design?

"I just got a call", Ryan looked paler than usual. "It's from the White House…"

It alarmed everyone.

"Did they figure out it was Nikita who killed those people? We can create something, right? Pin it to someone…anyone!" Alex exclaimed.

Michael's heart is pounding. If they have I.D. Nikita, her life is over.

"No. Uhmmm…" Ryan trailed.

"Spit it out, man!" Birkhoff yelled.

"President Spencer is dead", Ryan said.

The room was dead silent.

That's what Amanda was talking about. The thing that would shock them the most is Nikita killing the president of the United States.

"Was it her? Was it Nikita?" Owen dared to ask but Birkhoff is already facing his computer, hacking the White House security.

Michael's eyes became glued to the screen. It's her. She walked into the screen casually, got searched by the agents and got escorted inside the Oval Office. A few minutes later, she walked out and a few minutes more, agents paced back and forth in panic. He knew that by then, they discovered the president is already dead.

"Oh my god…" Alex breathed out in horror.

Nikita has killed the president.

Sean scratched his head in disbelief. That would also mean that Nikita has killed all of their pardons. The thing they promised the agents of Division is gone and if the White House pulled itself together, they could expect the Marines to blast through the door and shoot them all.

"We have to get her back here now", Michael growled.

"What's going to happen now? I mean, they know it's her. She's going to be the most wanted person in the planet. Even if we hide her here, this is the first place they're going to be searching for", Sean asked.

"…not if they don't know it's her. Birkhoff, can you erase her from the footage? It's not that clear to begin with. They might still be figuring out a way to get a better image of her", Owen suggested.

Birkhoff silently battled with the keyboard and declared it's done but who knows how many had seen her at the White House. The agents she came into contact with would surely remember her. All they have to do is do a sketch of her and that's it. It's not going to last long.

"Clock is ticking. We worry about the fallout later. Right now, if they caught up with Nikita, there would be more bloodshed. She's going to fight and that means more people will die and she wouldn't be really aware of it. That is if they don't kill her first", Ryan said.

He's right. They have to act now.

"I'll get Nikita. Birkhoff, get that shock machine ready. We're bringing her back", Michael declared.


They found her at the parking lot scouring for cars she can steal. Michael knows what she's going to do. She's going to run and if she disappears, there's no way they will be able to find her. She will cross the border. Go to some place they wouldn't be able to reach. She's going to disappear and he cannot let that happen.

Owen is in position armed with his rifle and tranq bullet. Alex and Sean waited by the van, ready for transport, while he stood close enough to Nikita so he can get her out quickly.

"Do it", he ordered and he heard Nikita gasped.

It was quick. She dropped onto the ground and he scooped her up in his arms. The van came to them and they entered before driving off in a haste.

They hid the whole thing from the other agents. Ryan is keeping them busy with tracking the rogue agents. It's better that way. If they knew that Nikita was compromised, it will create chaos. They looked up to her so much. He even thinks they fear her to some level. If they knew Amanda was able to get to Nikita the way she did, they might switch sides out of fear.

His heart aches when they put the restraints on Nikita but it's for the best. Nikita has always been deadly and right now, she's not herself. She would kill them all and not even blink.

He waited until she opened her eyes. They need her awake for the shock therapy. They need to know if it's going to work, if she's going to remember who they are.

When she regained consciousness, what she asked of him shocked him to his core. She wants to die. She had asked him to kill her because she thinks he's dead. She thinks that her death will pave the way for her to be with him again. She knew that killing the president had meant any change for her to have a normal life is over. She wanted that. She thinks she's got nothing left, nothing worth living for.

The sound of her scream is shattering him. He hates it. He suddenly remembered the day they fought in that house. He had told her to stop because she would only keep hurting herself by fighting him. She didn't listen. She told him that he has no idea how much pain she can take and then she dislocated her own shoulder to be free of him. It stunned him then. The way she didn't bother to stop and think what she was about to do and just did it. He loathed himself for being the one to cause her to resort to that option of hurting herself. He thinks he loathes himself now for causing her the pain she's experiencing now but he reminded himself that it's for her own good. It's necessary evil to get her back.

Birkhoff winced but continued with it, increasing the volt gradually. Nikita screamed and shook until it stopped. She had passed out and Birkhoff turned off the machine.

Everyone feels horrible. Nikita has always been the strong one. When they don't know what to do, they all turn to her for answers. She always got one. When something dangerous must be done, she would volunteer first to protect them. To see her like that, there's no word to describe it.

Alex recalled when they found her and Michael with Brandt. They didn't witness what the two had endured under that basement but they were there to see the aftermath. Nikita was shaken but even then, she kept it together…for Michael…for them.

Brandt had placed a camera in the room. For posterity, Alex figured. Brandt was sadistic that way. The man had spent years thinking about his revenge on Nikita so it made sense that he would want to record it so he could watch it again and again once he's through. She's the only one who'd seen. She didn't dare to show it to Michael. What she saw in that video was the side of Nikita she didn't want to cross. The way she talked to Brandt telling him that she didn't regret his mission, that she enjoyed what she did to him chilled her to the bones. It's far from the woman who saved her from destroying herself back then, the woman who gave her third chance in life, her purpose.

She looks at her now and she knows that if the shock therapy didn't work, she could free herself from the restraints and kill them all without hesitation. That's not the real Nikita unlike what Brandt had believed. Alex knew the real her deep inside. Nikita is kind and compassionate. She has a big heart that even Percy and Amanda failed to destroy. That's the woman they're trying to bring back.

Finally, Nikita opened her eyes once again. They all held their breath, waiting for her to say something…anything that would tell them that she's back to her old self again.

She looked around in confusion before realizing she's bound to the bed. Frown formed on her face before Michael came to her side and calmed her down before she panicked.

"It's okay. We're here", he muttered.

"Michael?" Alex almost gasped. "I don't understand. I don't—what's going on?" Nikita sounded so confused and so lost.

Michael was quick to remove her restraints before pulling her to his arms. Nikita started sobbing.

"I saw you die! I watched you die, Michael! How are you here?" Nikita cried.

That's probably even more heartbreaking than hearing her scream.

"I am here. I am alive, Nikita. It was all Amanda. I was never dead", Michael explained.

Nikita pulled back from him with a bigger frown.

"Amanda?"

"What's the last thing you remember, Nikita? Before you think you saw Michael die?" Ryan asked.

Nikita blinked a few times, trying to dig deep in her frayed mind. It was all hazy but she can see bits and pieces.

"We were on a mission. It's in an abandoned warehouse with…you and Owen", Michael nodded. "Roman…we were after Roman and then I lost contact with Birkhoff…with all of you and then—"

There's a slight throbbing in her head but she ignored it. She needs to remember.

"Amanda. She was there. Roman was working with her", she said.

"They took you to another building. That's where we found you but when we got there, you no longer recognized us. You thought Michael was dead", Alex supplied.

Horror flashed across Nikita's face when she remembered that part. "I shot you…"

"It's not you, Nikita. We know it's not you", the girl said.

"Amanda has gotten good with the whole mind game. Somehow, she managed to get your sight all messed up too. You didn't recognize any of us, even Michael. You kept telling he's dead even though he's right in front of you", Owen said.

Things started to come back to her. The anger, the grief, the overwhelming rage. It was all a fake because she's holding Michael's hands right now and he's alive. They're all well. The mission in that place in her head didn't happen. Michael was never trapped in a room. He was never shot by government agents. It was all fake.

"It felt so real. I can remember every single detail of it and I was so sure they've killed you", she trailed before she remembered another thing—what she did afterwards. "Oh god…"

"What is it?" Michael asked.

The things she did in the name of revenge…she couldn't even speak of it. She killed so many people. She killed them all without even breaking a sweat. She didn't lose a wink of sleep. She just went on murdering spree.

"The Shop…"

"What's the Shop got to do with Amanda?" Ryan asked.

"I figured out they're working together. I got to MDK and discovered the Shop was replacing government officials with doubles. They altered their faces and Amanda programmed their brains to act like the people they're impersonating", she answered.

The Shop controlling the government is terrifying.

"Those were the people you assassinated…" Sean realized.

Nikita nodded.

"…and President Spencer?" Ryan asked.

"She's the last on the list. After her, I was done. I stabbed her with her pen so it's only a matter of time before they find out it was me", she answered.

Michael gripped her hand tighter to get her attention back.

"I am not going to let anything happen to you. You've suffered enough. No more", he vowed.