Author's note/ Rainbow by Kesha is my song choice for this chapter.
Chapter 8 The Half Blood Prince
The next morning i roll over, and out of my bed feeling throughly roughed up. Sore limbs, and a headache so fierce i worry i might be sick if i eat. For the best i conclude. I don't know when my next session with Snape will be for my Occlumency lessons, but i expect it will be every bit as viscous as the first.
My time at Hogwarts is running out. Say my goodbyes Snape had told me. There are no classes today, after i redo my assignment that Dusk ate, I spend my morning with the friends i've neglected most of the year.
Grace will receive my final goodbye as Snape, and i have planned. In his office before all hell breaks loose at Hogwarts. It's painful to think of that now, and so i shove it down best i can. My friends deserve my attention.
Crabbe and Goyle were thrilled by my presence. Immediately doting on me. Asking if they could get me anything, or if there was anything in particular i might want to talk about. We're hanging out in the common room eating an entire tray of sweets and drinks. Treacle tarts, puddings, cakes, and candies line the silver platter in neat patterns. The house elf who'd prepared it was skilled at his craft. There were 2 kettles. One of tea and, in the other pumpkin juice. Everyone in our year thinks pumpkin juice is for babies, i decide on the tea. Crabbe and Goyle drain the pitcher of pumpkin juice. That makes me smile, genuinely. Such an innocent act. Drinking pumpkin juice. I don't think about the old days much anymore but now i am idolizing how carefree we'd once all been. How carefree Crabbe and Goyle still could be.
"How was the quidditch match today? It was Ravenclaw and Gryffindor right?" I ask glad to have a distraction from my own thoughts for once.
"Weasley beat out Chang. Gryffindors in the lead for house cup. Again." He says the last part with dissatisfaction. Gryffindor winning is not an upset but Weasley having played seeker against Chang is.
"Where was Potter during the match?" He hadn't looked ill last night.
"Snape's given him detention every Saturday for the rest of the year." Goyle says with glee.
Good. At least on Saturday Potter is out of commission.
"What'd Potter do to get that?" I say smiling for the second time today.
"Something about a potions book is what i heard." Crabbe says.
His potions book? The one i had used to brew the Amortenula. With those notes...
"What about the potions book?" I ask with to much intensity, and Crabbe recoils.
"I, uh" he stammers. "It wasn't his, stolen or something."
Potter with sticky fingers. I wondered how he had excelled in Slughorn's class. I should have realized those notes weren't his. To think all year the teacher's have been patting him on the back for a job well done, and he's been a cheat. They even gave him a vile of liquid luck. What i wouldn't do for some of that right now. This revelation also begs the question, if that books not Potter's whose book is it really?
Theo walks in, and i am glad because it is high time the subject is changed. Goyle flags him down.
"Come hang out with us Theo!" Goyle says half his pudding falling out of his mouth in the process. I push my plate of food away, my appetite now gone.
"Talking to us all again are you?" He asks me. I sip at my tea ignoring his comment.
"How's your mother Theo?" I ask politely.
"She's been better. Trouble sleeping lately." He sits down next to Goyle but doesn't get comfortable. He won't be sitting with us long. He's got something to say to me it's all over his face.
"I'll ask my mother to send her some tea. Chamomile is very calming you know." I say.
"Tea won't be much help to her i'm afraid. She's been having her visions." Oh here we go then.
Theo's mom has been having visions since she was a girl. Mother calls them complete poppycock. The entirety of the Nott family claim to be descended from ancient seers of Greece, but no one in the sacred 28 can trace their families back that far.
"No, tea won't be strong enough for that maybe some whiskey to go along with it?" I suggest.
"She's had a recurring one lately. It's haunting her. She's scared to leave her room. I can't talk sense into her no one can." The treats have all been put away now, and Theo has everyones attention. No one believes her visions but they still make for great story telling.
"Sorry to hear it Theo." I purse my lips, and set my tea cup down waiting for the obvious blow he's meaning to deliver to me.
"I've been going back and forth. Wondering if i should tell you. Draco."
"Tell me what?" I say condescendingly.
"Her vision it's been about you and-" he pauses and brushes his hand on the top of his head, in the exact spot one might place a clip or a headband. Grace. "She says the Malfoy name is going to die with you." For a long while i entertained the thought of having children, but i only wanted them with Grace. So Even if it were true that's fine by me. "In fact according to my mum all of the Malfoy's will be gone by next Spring, and it'll be your fault." That last bit however seems to trigger me. My fault? He believes this vision then. He's warning me of something. He slips a note from his pocket, and lays it next to my discarded tea cup. I don't touch it.
"Perhaps your mother drinks to much Theo. My mother will send flowers instead." Crabbe and Goyle are rigid. I ordinarily reserve this kind of nasty insulting for Gryffindors, never for someone of Slytherin house. Narcissa Malfoy would have my head if she heard what i had just said, especially since my jest was at the expense of her best friend.
"Mum told me not to say anything to you. She said this would be how you reacted."
"Oh yeah and how's that how am i reacting?" I bellow having finally lost my temper.
"Poorly." Theo says then points to the air above my head. Sparks are emitting from the top of my hair floating out in every which way. I was igniting the air unconsciously in my anger. "Take some friendly advice Draco. Read that." He points to the paper. "Relax. Then think very VERY carefully about what it might mean and what your next move is. It might be one of your last." Then he's gone having shoved off his perch and flitted towards the dorms.
After he's gone i don't have the patience to continue on with my little gathering with Crabbe and Goyle. "Going for a walk to clear my head." I tell them both over my shoulder.
As i'm leaving the dungeon i can make out the last thing Crabbe says to Goyle in hushed tones. "What'd he get so worked up about? Theo's mom used to tell mine i would be burned alive young. And i'm still kicking aren't i?"
I have the crumbled paper in my hand having grabbed it before leaving the dungeons. I open it hesitantly. And as i expected it was complete lunacy. Theo should skip the hand holding and just have his mother committed to St. Mungos because bot only is she off her rocker, the rocker is off the ground. The note says "When the graying man returns to his castle he shall face a choice. One act of kindness can be his undoing or his haven. When the red orb rises, within a most noble family's chamber he will find a cup that will quench his thirst only for a moment. Once the now haunted man's true intentions are discovered by the coven of veil devourers their maestro will begin his passage of struggle. The stakes rise. In the room of forgotten things he will lose 1 but gain 3. He will run back to the other half of himself he left behind, and if hes to slow, he will lose his prize." I shove it back in my pocket deciding against adding littering to my growing list of wrongs.
I've walked these halls hundreds of times. The stone is the same. The cracks in the floors are even the same, but somehow my feet feel heavier with each step upon them.
Theo was talking about Grace, i'm sure of it. He was trying to warn me from something. He believed his mother's visions. He had told me to read the note, and think about it. But the note was nonsense. And how could i relax at a time like this.
Snape said i am not nearly as clever as i had previously thought, and he's right. Theo had noticed Grace and i. He was warning me. Something along the lines of stay away from her or you'll end up dead. Theo had always been a good friend. Our mother's had been, it was my mother's dream that perhaps someday when Theo and i had kids that they might be married. Solidifying the Malfoys and the Notts.
I've got to use the loo i realize, that damn tea. There's a bathroom close by, and when i enter i am greeted by Myrtle. I don't call her that dreadful name everyone else uses. Myrtle is nice and on more occasion than one i've sought advice from her. The necklace i gave to Katie bell had been her idea. It seems that after all this time Myrtle still felt Dumbledore had been in someway responsible for what happened to her. That is debatable but you can't debate the fact that he had not allowed any attempt to send her spirit onwards. She wants to be at peace and she hopes the next headmaster might be more sympathetic to her plight.
"Hello Myrtle." I greet her.
She doesn't speak at first but waits until after I've relieved myself. She drifts closer, her body transparent enough that i can make the sinks out through her stomach.
"How are things Draco? I had wondered when you might come visit again." She pushes the rim of her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
"I've been busy. Lots to do, you know." I wink suggestively.
"I'm dying to hear all about it." She grins.
I suppose i have some time. So i start filling her in on everything. Apart from Grace of course. I'd never shared Grace with anyone living or dead until Snape of course, but he'd forced that on me. Well and now possibly Potter and Theo knows something to... Snape really hit the nail on the head. I am the opposite of clever.
I've just finished going into detail about the mix up with the poisoned whiskey when i hear something creak. I turn, and see a pair of spectacles and a set of piercing green eyes in the mirror.
"Levicorpus!" Potter screams as i barely block the jinx.
"No! No! Stop it!" Myrtle squeals, her voice reverberating around the bathroom tiles. "Stop! STOP!" I fire back and it misses Potter, throughly exploding a rubbish bin.
Potter hurls another jinx, but his misses me by an inch, i feel it slice my cheek. Then it lands on the water spicket at the sink, and it's blasted into bits. Water rockets out of the sink, and begins splashing in all directions around us. The floor starts flooding.
I realize Potter is out for blood. He's heard me. He's heard what i've said to Myrtle. I just admitted to everything Potter already suspected. I had admitted to attempting to kill the headmaster. There's no helping it then. I had known i would have to put Potter out of commission, i had hoped that his detention with Snape might be enough. My hand shakes as i raise my wand and cry out "Cruci-"
"SECTUMSEMPRA!" Potter roars his body is flailing on the floor, but his wand hand is steady. Then i feel something. Warmth blooms across my chest and face. It's wet. I stagger backwards, my vision sways a bit. Am i sleepy? Then before i know it i have collapsed on the floor into the puddles of water. That's when i see it. Blood, all around me, i realize it's mine. His spell it's cut me, deep. My blood has mixed with the water it's a ghastly shade of pink.
"No." Potter says looking horrified above me.
Myrtle has begun screaming "MURDER! MURDER IN THE BATHROOM! MURDER!" She's flitting about from the rafters in a frenzy.
My last thoughts before i start to go under are of Grace. Killed by Potter in a bathroom. Though i'll be dead it makes me quite glad to know Potter will soon be going to Azkaban. And Grace will still get to think of me well. She will never think of me as a killer. She can remember the good, the happy. She can remember us Always.
Please i implore whatever awaits me after death, don't let me come back as a ghost, and then everything is black. Theo had wanted me to relax.
I think by some miracle i've made it into heaven. Because an angel is singing to me. Sweet soothing notes. Delicate fingers trace my jawline in tune to the melody. Then i start to taste antiseptic on my tongue it's bitter, and my nose wrinkles. I can't move it feels like my chest is being sat on. I wiggle. Then there is someone stirring on top of me, and the lights above my head are bright. I try to blink away the light.
"Draco. Draco. Oh thank goodness! Your okay? Please say something." A voice cries somewhere between sobbing and cheer.
I look up to find Grace's perfect eyes. She's laid across my chest. We're in the hospital wing. The curtain around my bed has been drawn. I'm not dead yet, but Potter's going to wish he was. Grace clings to me like i'm the last broom at sea.
"I'm Allright. Love." I say trying to smile, but grimacing when i try to sit up. Moving hurts very much i discover. Potter cut me with that spell all over my body. To be fair i had tried to use a unforgivable on him. But the absolute nerve of him.
"When they brought you in i-" her hand rises to stifle another sob "i was so worried. They told me what happened with- they told me what happened in the bathroom. Draco i am so sorry. I don't know why he would do this to you."
Then alot of things start occurring to me very quickly. "Grace how did i get here or who brought me? Where is Potter?" I'm ready to jump out of bed when she pushes me back.
"Professor Snape brought you. Snape healed your cuts. You don't remember? It sounded painful. And they took him to see the headmaster." She says.
Potter had heard what i had said in the bathroom. Was he already warning Dumbledore? Dammit i had truly bungled this. How could Snape explain this away. I might have missed my chance to kill Dumbledore. Any minute he could come flying through those doors.
"Draco. The drink Slughorn gave Ron and i, how did you know what was about to-" but Then the sound of the hospital wing door opening freezes us both. I nod my head at Grace, signaling her to go back to her bed. Not to be seen with me. I suppose they've decided to Keep her here awhile, after the poison. I wonder how long they plan to keep her, and how i will lure her to Snape's office to say goodbye. I am saved from answering her question for now, and she slinks under the curtain without protest. Good girl.
"Draco, are you awake?" It's Snape. He's drawn the curtain before i answer. He looks around the space with a knowing look. "How are you?"
"Fine." I'm careful with what i say. Grace is listening. I tap my ear with one finger and motion around the room. He gets my meaning and casts a muffliato for us. He nods.
"Potter knows. He knows what i'm aiming to do. He's going to tell Dumbledore he might be telling him now." I say with urgency. Snape is not at all bothered.
"Don't concern yourself with Potter any longer. Your focus is as we planned. We will erase the girls memories. You will open the cabinet, and do what needs to be done with the headmaster. Then we will leave. I trust you've been making your preparations."
"Didn't you hear me? Potter's telling Dumbledore. I'm going to get caught?"
"Leave Potter to me. He won't interfere with our plans." Snape says solemnly. Then i understand.
"Those things you cant tell me..."
"Precisely." Then Snape is quiet. Snape and i are both traitors. To both sides i realize.
"I just want to save Grace, i don't want to help the order. I can't risk that. I'll only do what it takes to keep her safe." He sneers at me, reminding me of the way he does when anyone dares ask a question during his lecture in potions class.
He comes closer and i think he might strike me, but his fingertips drift around the angry pink flesh at my face. I'll have scars that's for certain.
"You were extremely lucky Draco. That spell that Potter used can be deadly."
"I don't think he meant to." Im not sure why i feel compelled to defend him after what he's done to me. But i could tell in his face. He was as shocked as i. He had not known what the spell was when he used it. "He didn't know what the spell was, he must have been trying it for the first time."
"Yes i believe Potter might have acquired the half blood prince's school book." My brows are knit together in confusion and he continues. "This spell was of my own creation. I am the owner of the book Potter found. He's been using it all year, he's been excelling quite a bit in Potions with Slughorn. Hadn't you noticed?"
"I have actually." The book i had used that day had been Snape's.
"I merely want to help Draco. You have no idea what you're up against. I do. I've lived this already. If you want to see Grace make it out of this all alive you have to do as i say without fail. I understand why you hesitate to help the Order. But can i trust you to in the least, not to interfere with my work? When we leave Hogwarts, i will take you under my wing. I will teach you how to stay alive and how to keep those you care about alive."
He was right he had lived this, and he had lost the love of his life. I cannot allow that to be how my story with Grace ends.
"You can trust me. I won't try to stop what you do for the Order." He grips my shoulder for a moment then he's gone having thrown back the curtain. The Muffliato dispelled in his wake.
From across the room i see that Ron Weasley will in-fact make a full recovery. He is wide awake watching me, as i watch him. He'd been here the entire time. Had he been awake when Grace and i had talked before. He heard what she had asked about the poison the look on his face says it all. He knows i had something to do with it. No matter really. After tonight Potter will have told him about what he'd heard me tell Myrtle anyway. A handful of days and i'll gladly never see Ron Weasley or Harry Potter again.
Another to the list though. The people who know about Grace, and i. Snape, Potter, Myrtle, possibly Theo, and now Weasley.
Grace waits until she hears the door shut, she pauses to look between Weasley and i sizing each other up. She's waiting to see if i'll turn her away or let her come back to me. "Close the curtain on your way in, won't you Lordon?" I hope using Lordon distances me in Weasley's mind. Just a classmate. Nothing more. When she closes the curtain i ask her to cast a muffliato for us.
"The drink." She wastes no time. She wants an answer. She wants me to explain. She's not letting me off the hook any longer. Our days of skating around the issues and questions are all over.
Something breaks in me while she stares at me. Her eyes are so trusting, brimming with water. I'm tired of lies. Tired of keeping so much from her. So i start at the beginning. I tell her about my parents, and their allegiance to the dark lord. I tell her about my subsequent allegiance due to my father's failure. I make her understand the high stakes i'm playing at. She needs to know it all. Because soon she won't know any of it. I tell her about Snape's double agent status. Snape will take her memories and she won't remember this conversation. But it needs to happen, i need to tell her how much i love her. Make her see that when the time comes taking her memories is for the best. I don't tell her about the plan with Snape. I don't want to give her a chance to plan anything to stop me. Then i tell her about the cabinet and how i fixed it. How i'll let the death eaters into the castle. She's holding my hand until i tell her how i've been assigned to kill the headmaster. She drops my hand like she's been stung.
"But you won't. You won't kill someone Draco. Not Dumbledore."
Then i explain i've been trying. The necklace. The poison in the drink she and Weasley took by mistake. I talk about Potter and the real reason he had attacked me in the bathroom. She can't look at me.
"Go to Dumbledore. Now. Tell him everything you've told me. He can help you Draco." She goes to grab my hand. "I can go with you." I pull away.
"Grace. That's the last person I can ever go to for help. Don't you get it? If i go to the order, they'll kill my parents. Voldemort will kill them if i betray him."
"I can't ask you to chose me over your parents. But i will ask you, to chose good over evil. You have to know what you're doing, what you've done. Draco, your choosing the wrong side."
I had put off the last part as long as possible. "No. You are on the wrong side Grace. You can't continue to sympathize with the muggleborns or squibs any longer. It's time to grow up." She recoils like i've hit her. "They will come for your sister. Once Voldemort has taken control of the ministry. Squibs will be marked for death. You have to send her away, get rid of your sister. You and your mother might have a chance."
"Me and my mother? So that's it then. Your leaving me!" She accuses.
"Yes." I tell her and my heart breaks.
"I knew, i mean you've always said from the start. We couldn't be together. I still dared to dream. That we might make it though. That someday you'd be brave enough to stand up to your parents. That you'd get passed your prejudices." She's disgusted with what i have said to her.
"I apologize for disappointing you." I say forcing all emotion out of my voice. She needs to see me like this, see me as an emotionless monster.
Then she's rushing from the room, flinging the curtain so hard it shakes on the metal rods. Tears are streaming down her face, and Weasley takes in the sight of her fleeing from me. Then turns to me with a look of disgust to rival Grace's. "Real nice Malfoy." The muffliato prevented him from hearing what we'd said but Weasley is put out that i'd made a girl cry. A tiny part of me is worried he might tell someone Grace had visited me.
"Weasley, i know we aren't exactly friends." I say looking right at him from across the room. He scoffs.
"Oh, really?" Every bit of the sarcasm he intends is biting. "And here i was about to ask you if you'd like to share the chocolate frogs Hermione brought."
"Don't tell anyone Grace came here." He raises one brow with eyes narrowed. Trying to decipher why i might ask that of him. Perhaps he knows, perhaps Potters already told him as much. "Please." I beg. I beg Weasley, and it makes me briefly think about chucking myself out the window.
"I won't if you tell me what you said to make her cry." That conniving son of- that tosser might have been good Slytherin material.
"I took something from her." I admit hoping he might let it go there.
"What'd you take from her?" Seemingly concerned.
"Her dreams." Then i roll over and close my eyes hoping i can get just a little bit of sleep. Weasley says nothing else but i hear the sound of his curtains closing.
