Chapter 10 Obliviate
Song for this chapter is Heart of Glass- Blondie
Nsfw chapter you have been warned
Draco POV
I think maybe that all of us are looking for someone with demons that play well with our own. How else can i explain the internal torment that this moment is causing me?
What i've wanted. What i've craved. What i had denied myself all these years. Grace.
Even as i feel it coursing through my veins i knew it wasn't simply the potion. The potion had been the trigger certainly. The little vial of amortenula has set off a bomb, no an atomic bomb, inside me. I work to steel myself against it. Controlling my breathing in a feeble attempt to restrain myself from my more suddenly pronounced, primal instincts. My posture is rigid, and i lock my limbs in place.
Every cell of my being burns, and demands to be sated. Warmth pools in a familiar way in my stomach. The hunger, the desire all of it threatening to burst fourth, and claim Grace. Before that i want to know though. Why? Why had she forced this. Of all the people i had ever known i never thought Grace could be capable of this, it's not a betrayal in my eyes. But a surprise.
"Grace. Why?" I choke out. I'm struggling to keep it together. Forcing myself to stay present in the moment. I beat back the flames of want, and look at her like a man crazed.
The fog of pheromones has descended upon the entirety of the room. Although i am less than thrilled with the situation i am entirely grateful for Snape's quick thinking. I shiver at the prospect of what could have happened had he not acted so quickly.
"I want a proper goodbye. I couldn't watch you leave without-" her lip trembles. "Without having loved you."
I shift around on my feet trying desperately to adjust my pants which are suddenly uncomfortable.
"When you wake up tomorrow you won't even remember this."
She nods accepting my statement.
"But it will have happened. If a tree falls in the forest, and forgets the fall, does that mean it never fell?" She manages something between a grimace and a grin.
It had never occurred to me that she may want this, even under these circumstances. From the start we had both known this was finite, we were finite and could not be together. I thought it would be easier, kinder even to leave some stones unturned. Now though, there was no choice anymore.
The Amortenula had nullified any choice in the matter. I loosen the tie at my throat, it's tighter than i remember. The longer we struggle against the Amortenula now, the less time Snape and i will have after. We need every second possible if we expect to survive to morning. Dumbledore win't be milling himself unfortunately. There is much to do, and with that in mind i allow the potion to ebb and flow, and fill my lungs pulling me in deeper with each breath.
The feeling of giving into the magic reminds me of my first buzz. It was 4th year when one of the older Slytherins thought it would be funny to get the underclassmen blitzed on wine coolers. I had puked all over Goyle's shoes, he cried, and Crabbe laughed while shielding his own. Thinking of them, God i might actually miss them tomorrow. No i know i will. I'll miss all of Hogwarts.
Grace is nervous, her lip looks ready to split apart from the way her teeth work against it. I cup her chin and gently tug her lip free. Her eyes are hooded, and the magic has her as keyed up as i am.
I had never given much thought, if any at all, to my first time. Knowing Grace would never be my wife i always expected it to be with whomever my parents or the dark lord made my match to. Growing up as the heir to the Malfoy line i was raised with aristocratic beliefs. Sex was within marriage, no exceptions.
In all my years i had never dared to rebel against my parents nor my duty as their son, if you disregard Grace. The look on my father's face would be priceless, if he could only see what i was about to do now. I imagine a tie between incredulous, and absolute fury. He would disown me. Mother would convey disgust, but also pity somewhere deep behind the mask she wields. Mother might threaten to disown me, but i cannot decide if she would. I'd like to live in a world where my mother could defy my father, but i don't think i do. My father is the dark lord's lackey, which makes my mother quite disposable.
No matter what comes next, tomorrow, next year it will all pale in comparison to the time i spent here at Hogwarts by Grace's side.
She floats to me. Her tiny palm rests just below the right side of my chest where my heart is, and she stares at me listening for something i think. Thump. Thump. It's my pulse. Beneath her tiny hands my posture, melts away and with it i relax under her gentle fingers.
"You won't hate me for this will you?" She asks. The notion is so preposterous i nearly snort, except Malfoy's do not snort.
"Under no circumstance could i ever hate you, Grace. Never. I L-" then one dainty finger has silenced me.
"Don't say IT. Please. Draco." Her touch leaves goosebumps on me.
It was hard to remember if the cloaks fell away, or if her lips had crashed to mine first. I do know that had a cannon gone off at that moment, i would have certainly failed to hear it. The world begins to cease to exist around me, all i can see now is Grace.
Her shirt is off, someone groans. Our bodies are pressing so tightly together i can scarcely remember where her body begins and mine ends. Years of repressed desires shatter in seconds.
I want this to last forever, the feeling of Grace pliable and warm in my arms. I want to keep those doors locked, and hide away from the rest of it all. No more dark lords, or no more death eaters. Just me, and Grace forever. Sadly time is not something we had.
"Please.." she begs me breathlessly, and moaning into my chest. Does she even know what she's begging for i wonder? She must i realize, as i feel her hand idly run against my hard length. I suck a breath in through my teeth. Sin feels very good.
"Please what?" I mock nearly hissing at her. I can't help myself as i thrust into her palm. "Is this it, is this what you want?" And i'm pulling her against my length so it sits at her navel. I have her pinned against a desk. Some first years cauldron, has been destroyed in the process. I wrap one leg, then the other around my hips and pull her up so she's sitting at the edge.
This would be easier anywhere else. More comfortable in a dormitory bedroom. I would make due, nevertheless. One doesn't receive a bag of gold, and fret over the delivery method. They count themselves lucky to have received it, and i do consider myself a very lucky man.
The sensations are delicious as her hips writhe against mine. Her need is obvious. The smell of arousal around me, and the dampness against my pants.
"Yes." She grounds out, and i realize were both completely devoid of any clothing. Socks, and other pieces litter the area at our feet. Time has begun to move strangely.
"It might hurt." I warn her hoping one last time in vain we might stop this. That i might not ruin her. The Amortenula i know is to strong. With every touch it only seems to heighten my arousal. Some uncontrollable side of me has been unleashed, and the potion eggs it on. I think the more i try to fight it the more i can't.
"Don't care, i just want.." she says as i slam into her tightness, and rip away her innocence. "You!!" She blurts painfully.
Grace whimpers at the sudden fullness, the stinging of the stretching muscles deep within her. To her credit, she was never one to milk any injury. This is the same, and the only sign i can find that she is uncomfortable is the slight pinch of her nails into my back.
I give her several moments before i thrust once again. I nearly come undone after a handful more thrusts , i slow myself. Instead deciding to indulge Grace, to take away the pain from between her thighs, and instead replace it with pleasure. Gently with the tip of one finger i coax the small bud at her slit. She exudes a sound that seems more animal than woman.
"How does that feel?" I ask still coaxing at her most private part, stroke by stroke.
"Good so good. Don't stop." She pleads struggling over each word.
She has not looked me in the eye once since i had taken her. "Look at me. Grace." Tugging her chin up. She looks up at me through fluffy lashes, and hazy eyes. I'm no more experienced than she, but she's at the edge i can tell. "There will only ever be you, for me." I seal the promise with a deep kiss, and it tips her right over.
Her heat flutters around me, and i begin an assault on her, thrust after thrust into her. Chasing my own bliss. The contractions within her pulling me deeper into her. Each thrust is my undoing and i am coming closer. Each one brings me closer to the end. My end, our end.
When i am spent inside her, she is drawing lazy circles on my back with her finger tips. Not wanting to separate from me yet, both of us dreading what comes next. It's sticky, but i don't feel dirty. I cannot look at her when i finally force myself away, and out of her. Grace collects her wand from the floor and i feel my cheeks redden as she casts a spell at her abdomen. The thought of fertility had failed to cross my mind. It's a good thing one of us considered it. Though she had more time to plan this matter, than i.
We dress in silence. Handing each other various items when we come upon them on the floor. I note that the Amortenula has gone from the room. Gone just as quickly as it had come. Slughorn had undersold the potency and just how dangerous it could be, i decide.
I finish tying my last lace when Snape comes through the door. His face is indifferent, indecipherable. If he is thinking anything about what just happened in this room he won't be sharing it. With him it's business as usual.
"We must move quickly. Once we are done here You will let THEM into the castle then go straight to the astronomy tower. You will find HE is already there." He hurls directions at me that might as well be knives. They wound just as much. He stands between Grace and i. "Draco?" He asks to make sure i had heard him.
Someone told me once that Potter's godfather is Sirius Black. I wonder how that might be. A godfather to guide you, teach you, and nurture you in all things light. Snape is the polar opposite of Sirius Black. Snape has led me, taught me, but in all things dark.
"I understand." I reply. Grace does not move for a hug, a final kiss or anything resembling sentimental not in front of Snape. Our time is up we both know it.
Grace nods her head like she's finished working something out for herself. Then deposits a small object between my fingers that have suddenly lost feeling. I can feel myself going under, becoming numb. The object is cold, glass i think, i do not look at it. I only look at her.
"When you are ready professor." She tells him with the fake cheeriness someone might have when receiving fruitcake for Yule. She faces him between the aisle of desks, so brave. My good girl.
"It might be better to sit down for this." He says.
When she's barely put any weight upon the seat she lets out a hiss of displeasure. She must be sore. I had made her sore. When she wakes, she won't understand. I have done this to her. I have drug her down into my horrid affairs. All because I did not know better to leave well enough alone. Damn that hat. The sorting hat could have put her in any other house, and she would have been safe from me.
"Standing then." Snape amends and offers his hand to pull her gently upright.
I have become a statue, a gargoyle against the potion room wall. Exiling myself to this oddity of being a bystander or spectator. As if what is happening before my eyes has no meaning to me. As if the only woman i've ever loved is not moments away from forgetting me, forgetting us. I am useless. I can provide no comfort to Grace. I can feel myself imploding.
"On the count of 3." Snape says to Grace. He gets to 2 and with a flick of his wand "Obliviate." She had not seen it coming, that was kind. The effects are immediate. She is immobile, paralyzed. His wand begins to work quickly. Waving back, and fourth. Jabbing motions and a silver lines trails from the tip of his wand as he swishes the contents of Grace's memory around. They hang in the air around her like wet curtains. He tosses several out of the way after having inspected them. Then he deposits even more back into her. At one point he seems to be deep in thought, and also rather amused. I would like to know which memory that was.
I slide down the wall, the bumpy grain surely left some tears in my cloak on the way down, i do not care. My face is a mess, a blubbering sodding mess that i can no longer seem to control. I am losing her, and i am being forced to watch in excruciating detail.
When Snape seems to be satisfied with his work, the final wisp of silver floats away listlessly. He uses his wand to hover Grace to the window where a cushioned bench sits. She looks peacful when she sleeps.
"Take the clip." I pause my self loathing just long enough to be confused by his request. "From her hair, take the clip. She cannot keep it." Oh that's right. That won't gave escaped Snape when he was going through her memories..
I amble over, and pull the clip from her curls. She sighs when my hand brushes her skin.
"Just a little longer." Snape encourages me, complete with a hand at my shoulder. I pull myself together as much as i can manage.
"She will be safe here?" I ask.
"Yes." He nods. "She will wake in a few hours and be none the wiser to tonights events."
"Okay. Then." I look into my palm. Another little vial, this time it's gold. Liquid luck, Grace gave me. This might come in handy, it made for a wonderful parting gift.
"Go. Let the death eaters through the cabinet and then i will see you at the astronomy tower." He doesn't look back at Grace but as i exit the potion room i watch her the entire way out. Secretly hoping there might be just one memory left of me that got through Snape's mindful touch.
Later that evening...
Draco pov
Albus Dumbledore is dead. I am responsible. Bellatrix destroyed everything in her path tonight, which i find fitting because i do the same thing even if i don't necessarily try to. The Death Eaters and i fled the astronomy tower. Potter tried to follow us. He tried to curse Snape, and Bellatrix. It didn't work. His emotions got the better of him. As Potter laid on the grass bleeding in front of Hagrid's hut, i thought briefly about helping him. But what would the point be? When we got passed the wards to the apparition point i saw him. The little Unicorn. Grace's, and mine. The whole lot of them are out tonight. There's something catching the light at his eye. Then i realize Sunny is crying. I know from first year how rare it is for a Unicorn to cry. It was good of him to see me off this evening. Good boy.
