Do say gay

It was Halloween night, and five-year-old Lincoln Loud was trying to keep up with his older sister Lynn Jr., who had been tasked with keeping an eye on him while the parents were busy with Lucy and the newborn twins. Unfortunately for Lincoln, Lynn went speeding off down the streets, despite her given task.

"Lynn, wait up! Mum said you have to stay with me," Lincoln protested, but to no avail. Lynn Jr. was not listening as she continued her sprint. She leapt over a boy in a One-Eyed Jack costume. Lincoln, still trying to keep pace, could not avoid colliding into the boy. The two were knocked to the ground, and whilst the other boy was able to get up, he was bleeding from one nostril.

"Oh geez, I'm sorry. Here, take my cape. Ace Savvy is always ready to lend a hand," Lincoln offered. The other boy accepted, using the cape to plug his bleeding nostril, and extended his free hand.

"Thanks. I'm Clyde, what's your name?" Clyde introduced. Lincoln then shook the other boy's hand, solidifying their new-found friendship.

"I'm Lincoln, and sorry again about crashing into you. My sister Lynn was supposed to stay with me, but she just went running off. I was trying to catch up, but once she's in 'the zone' there's no stopping her," Lincoln explained.

"No problem, it was an accident," Clyde assured.

"Still, we should get that looked at. My house isn't too far from here. Wanna come with me? My parents can take care of that nosebleed. My mum's a dental assistant and knows her way around a first-aid kit," Lincoln invited.

"Sounds good. I really don't wanna stain this awesome Ace Savvy cape," Clyde agreed. Together, the two boys made their way towards the Loud House. Lincoln knocked on the door and his mother answered. Rita Loud was surprised by the sight that greeted her.

"Hi, Lincoln. Where's your sister, and who's this, and why is he dabbing his nose with your cape?" Rita questioned.

"I'll explain later. Can you get the first-aid kit, please?" Lincoln requested.

"Sure thing, honey. I'll just be a second while you seat him on the couch. Good thing we just put the twins down," Rita answered. She went upstairs to get the kit while Lincoln and Clyde sat down on the couch.

"You have an…interesting house," Clyde commented.

"Yep, this is the Loud House. It's just me, my parents, and my eight sisters," Lincoln replied. This made Clyde do a double-take.

"Eight sisters?! That's a lot. I don't even have one sibling," Clyde observed.

"We're a big family, but we make it work," Lincoln remarked. Rita, along with her husband Lynn Sr., then came down with the kit and tended to Clyde's nose.

"That better?" Rita asked.

"Yes. Thank you, Mrs. Loud," Clyde responded, freeing up Lincoln's cape, which Lincoln discarded and put in the laundry basket.

"Now, please tell us how this happened," Lynn Sr. probed gently. Lincoln then explained how he accidentally ran into Clyde while trying to keep up with Lynn, who darted off down the street, then brought him here after offering his costume to stem the bleeding until Clyde got some actual medical care. The parents were very understanding listeners, taking great care not to judge Lincoln too harshly.

"Well, as long as it was purely an accident, I don't see any need to take this further. You did good by coming to us with this, and for stepping up and taking responsibility," Rita praised.

"And we will be having talks with LJ about sticking with her younger siblings when she's asked to. In the meantime, Clyde, was it? Is there anyone we can call to let them know what happened and that you're here?" Lynn Sr. inquired.

"I have my daddies' number memorised. If you get me a pencil and some paper, I can write it down for you," Clyde notified. This confused Lincoln somewhat. Clyde said 'daddies', as in more than one. Lincoln knew only the mother-father dynamic. He didn't think it was possible to have more than one dad, or mum. Still, here Clyde was, saying he had multiple dads. Questions raced around his head as Clyde gave Rita and Lynn Sr. the phone number for the McBride house. Just as Lynn Sr. was about to place the call, Lynn Jr. knocked on the door. Rita let her in, and Lynn Jr. was greeted with a stern look from her mother, as well as Lincoln on the couch next to a boy she didn't know with a tissue up his nose.

"Who's this?" Lynn Jr. queried.

"This, LJ, is the boy Lincoln accidentally ran into when he was trying to keep up with you," Lynn Sr. curtly replied.

"Care to tell us why you thought it was a good idea to practice a half-mile sprint while leaving your brother behind when you were explicitly told to watch him?" Rita scolded.

"He was going at such a snail's pace. If we didn't hurry, all the good candy would be gone, and check out this sweet haul," Lynn Jr. presented her full basket of candy.

"Why yes, that is a good haul. I sure hope it was worth Lincoln and Clyde here missing out on valuable trick-or-treating time tending to this nosebleed," Rita chastised.

"You, young lady, were trusted to keep an eye on your brother. Anything could've happened to him because you weren't there. It was pure luck that nothing did, except this. Because the boys missed out on trick-or-treating, I think it is only fair you give half your candy to Lincoln and Clyde each as compensation," Lynn Sr. concluded.

"But I pushed myself to the limit to get this stash!" Lynn Jr. argued.

"It's either this or be grounded for a week. Take your pick," Rita countered. Left with no alternative, Lynn Jr. split her haul in half and put each in Lincoln and Clyde's baskets.

"Upstairs, LJ. We'll talk about this after Clyde's dads have come to pick him up," Lynn Sr. commanded. Dejectedly, Lynn Jr. went to her room, muttering sulkily as she did so. Lynn Sr. then called the McBride house and told them what happened and where to find their son. Mere seconds after Lynn Sr. hung up the phone, another knocking on the door signalled the arrival of the McBrides. Lynn Sr. opened the door and the two men instantly rushed towards their son, hugging and checking him from top to bottom.

"Are you OK, kiddo? Do you have a concussion?" one of the men asked.

"Feeling warm? Are you seeing coloured spots? Do you need help walking home with us?" the other man added. Lincoln deduced that these two men were Clyde's fathers. Strange as he found the sight, there were more pressing concerns right now.

"This is my fault, sirs. I was the one that ran into him," Lincoln confessed. This made the McBride fathers' heads turn in his direction.

"Don't be too hard on him, dads. It was an accident, honest," Clyde interjected.

"We're really sorry about this. Our son Lincoln was meant to be watched by his sister, but she had other ideas," Rita said apologetically. The McBrides then turned to Lincoln again.

"We appreciate your honesty, young man. One thing we've learned about being parents is that accidents do happen," the skinny man replied.

"Plus, if our boy vouches for you, that's enough for us," his companion stated.

"Lincoln's my new best friend. He wouldn't do this to me on purpose," Clyde asserted. This statement made the two men gasp in delight.

"Did you hear that, Hare-bear? 'Best friend'! Get the camera, I want to document this," the red-haired dad exclaimed.

"Our boy doesn't talk much with kids his own age. We've been kinda worried, so to hear him call someone he just met his new bestie is a blessing," the black-haired, balding man explained.

"I'm Howard McBride, and this is my husband, Harold. Thank you so much for taking in our Clyde in his time of need, Lincoln, was it?" Howard, the red-head, introduced himself and his partner. Lynn Sr. and Rita introduced themselves in kind.

"Howie, it is getting late. We should get going," Harold urged. Together, Howard, Harold, and Clyde left the Loud House.

"I hope we meet again, new best friend," Clyde called out while waving goodbye to Lincoln.

"Me too, new best friend," Lincoln replied in kind, also waving goodbye. Once Clyde was in the car and being driven away, Lincoln yawned and made for his room. Rita followed him up to help tuck him in for the night.

"How about that, a new friend. Better than any amount of candy, I'd say," Rita remarked.

"Clyde and his dads seem really nice, but doesn't he have a mum?" Lincoln probed. This question made Rita a bit uncomfortable, and she was unsure how to respond.

"That's…..a difficult question to answer. Try not to think about it too much. We can talk about it after school tomorrow. Get some rest," Rita resolved. Still curious, but tired after the night's events, Lincoln let sleep take him. Rita turned off his bedroom light and closed the door. She went downstairs to her and Lynn Sr's room and sat down to read her book. Lynn Sr. joined her a few minutes later.

"How did things go with LJ?" Rita inquired.

"She did not like having to give up her candy, but I told her about 'stranger danger' and what could've happened because she left Lincoln on his own. I think she got the message, and even if she didn't, our ruling is final," Lynn Sr. summarised.

"Lincoln was asking about Clyde's mum. I don't think he understands about same-gender families. I told him we'd fill him in tomorrow," Rita disclosed.

"Oh boy. I was banking on the school system to take care of that for us," Lynn Sr. responded.

"How do you want to handle this?" Rita probed.

"The same way Lincoln approached running into Clyde, open honesty. We give him the facts and tell him it is completely normal. We're parents, it's our duty," Lynn Sr. answered.

"He'll have a lot of questions," Rita guessed.

"Then we answer those honestly as best we can," Lynn Sr. replied. The two tried to get some sleep, but the twins' baby monitor came to life with the sound of night crying.

"Your turn, Lynn," Rita observed.

The next day, Lincoln arrived at his kindergarten class with Ms. Shrinivas that morning, his mind still on Clyde and his family. While his parents promised that they would fill him in at the end of the school day, this did not stop the questions he had buzzing through his brain with alarming frequency. Where was Clyde's mother? Did he even know who she was? He tried to bury these questions for the time being as Ms. Shrinivas approached her class.

"Children, I am delighted to announce that we have a new student joining us," Ms. Shrinivas declared. She gently gestured for the new student to come into the classroom, and Lincoln recognised him straight away. "Class, say hello to….."

"Clyde!" Lincoln interjected enthusiastically.

"Lincoln! You're in this class? That should calm my nerves," Clyde replied, breathing a sigh of relief as he did so.

"Oh, you two already know each other. Good, then I leave Clyde in your hands, Lincoln. Show him around, make sure he learns the ropes, make sure he's comfortable here," Ms. Shrinivas entrusted Lincoln with making sure Clyde integrated into the class well.

"Yes, Ms. Shrinivas," Lincoln acknowledged and showed Clyde around the classroom. He also introduced him to Liam Hunnicut, a ginger-haired boy who lived on a farm. Clyde was fascinated by Liam's stories about the farm life, including sharing tips on milking cows.

"The best way to get the good milk is to take a gentle, but firm approach to the grip. It also helps make the cow feel at ease during the whole process. Last thing you want is a kick from a cow's hind legs. Trust me on that one," Liam advised.

"That sounds so cool. My dads won't even let me near animals in the pet store unless they've had all their shots," Clyde replied.

"My meemaw took care of all that herself. Our livestock is as healthy as they come, plus we put anti-bios in their feed once a week to stop them getting sick," Liam assured.

"Sounds like you two are hitting it off. Did Liam tell you about pig-wrestling yet?" Lincoln wondered.

"You wrestle pigs?" Clyde asked.

"It's fun. The pigs sure seem to like it," Liam answered.

"Farm life sure sounds hectic," Clyde commented.

"Yeah, you never know what's gonna happen day by day. Doesn't compare to living in a house with many, many siblings, though," Liam responded.

"That's one of the reasons Liam and I get on so well, we both know what it's like to live in a chaotic home," Lincoln added.

"In my house, it's just me and my daddies. They're great, but it does get lonely sometimes. Quiet and peaceful, but lonely, too," Clyde stated.

"In my house, 'quiet' is a foreign concept, especially since Luna got her first guitar, and Luan started practicing her comedy routines. Why, oh why, did Mum and Dad get her Mr. Coconuts?" Lincoln said.

"Now that I'd like to see," Clyde chuckled at the thought.

"You're a braver soul than I, Clyde," Liam complimented. The two shared a group laugh when Ms. Shrinivas came over.

"I see you are acclimating well, Clyde. Made new friends already, have you?" Ms. Shrinivas inquired. Clyde nodded in the affirmative. "Well, recess will be starting soon. Anything we need to be aware of?" Ms. Shrinivas probed further.

"My dads told me to give you this," Clyde presented a list of his allergies and dietary requirements, as well as his vaccination status, and gave it to Ms. Shrinivas.

"Oh my, that is…very thorough. I'll keep this for future reference, but it looks like we have nothing to worry about," Ms. Shrinivas observed. While Clyde, Liam, and the rest of the class left for the playground, Lincoln held back. "Something wrong, Lincoln?" Ms. Shrinivas queried.

"I met Clyde's dads yesterday, and they seem really nice. I was wondering, does Clyde not have a mum?" Lincoln questioned. Deep down, Ms. Shrinivas knew that someday, one of her pupils would ask about this, especially when it became known amongst the class that Clyde had two dads. Still, as an educator, she had a sworn duty to be honest with her pupils and give them any information they needed should they ask, regardless of the topic. Granted, at the kindergarten level, there were certain subjects she had to steer clear of, but the matter of same-gender families could be discussed with a five-year-old, so she sat Lincoln down.

"First things first; as you know, families can come in all shapes, sizes, and variations. You have a mum and a dad that love you very much, as do most children. Some, like Clyde, have two fathers, others have two mothers. You said you met Clyde's dads before. Did they seem like a normal family to you?" Ms. Shrinivas guided.

"A little over-protective, but they acted like my mum and dad would," Lincoln answered. Ms. Shrinivas chuckled slightly.

"On that, we agree. To answer your initial question; yes, Clyde does have a mum. Everyone does, just as everyone has a dad. Confidentiality rules forbid me from disclosing Clyde's true parentage without his consent, and I implore you not to press Clyde on this matter unless he feels comfortable discussing it with you. Suffice to say, Clyde is just like any other kid in my class," Ms. Shrinivas explained.

"I don't care where Clyde came from. I was just curious about the whole 'two dads' thing. It's not something I've seen before. One of them described the other as his husband," Lincoln recalled.

"Ah, yes, I was wondering when we'd get to this. You know your mum and dad love each other as much as they do you and your sisters. That is what we call 'being straight'. There are others, like Clyde's dads, that love each other the same way your parents do. Two women can love each other in this way as well. This is what we call 'being gay'," Ms. Shrinivas compared.

"Is there a difference?" Lincoln asked. Ms. Shrinivas sighed heavily.

"Understand this, Lincoln, because it's very important; gay relationships are no different from straight ones. The amount of love felt for one another is exactly the same," Ms. Shrinivas asserted.

"They didn't seem all that different from my parents to me," Lincoln recollected.

"Exactly. However, there are people out there that do not view such relationships as favourably as you do. Some, more extreme elements, have even acted on these hatreds in…..not very nice ways," Ms. Shrinivas disclosed.

"But that's so wrong. How could anyone hate Clyde's dads?" Lincoln expressed.

"Ignorance. Fear. No more than that. It gladdens me to hear you describe such behaviours as wrong because they are. History has not been so kind to people like Clyde's dads, and I am thankful that we have come a long way since then. Tell me something, Lincoln, do you view Clyde as your best friend?" Ms. Shrinivas asked.

"Yes, I do. He's the One-Eyed Jack to my Ace Savvy," Lincoln replied.

"Then that should be all that matters. Now go on, your friend is waiting," Ms. Shrinivas urged as she saw Clyde wave to Lincoln through the window. Lincoln then left to join him and Liam. As she watched her charges enjoying whatever make-believe adventures or ball games they got up to, she cracked a smile. Days like this, in her opinion, make becoming an educator the best career move she ever made.

Author's note: OK, time to get serious. Those that know me know that I took great care to make sure my little corner of the internet is a safe place where all people are welcome, be they straight or LGBTQIA+. The recent bill signed into law by the Florida governor (you'll know which one by the title of this story) has convinced me that I can watch no longer while my allies come under attack from those that are sworn to protect their liberties out of some misguided notion of safeguarding (who's buying the whole 'Parental Rights' crap from the start? We all know what motivated this). If this story achieves only one objective, let it be to demonstrate that kindergarteners to third-graders can be talked to about orientations and gender identities in an appropriate way. Plus, I really wanted to expand on how the Louds and McBrides made each other's acquaintances. The usual disclaimers, I own nothing. All properties belong to their respective owners. Enjoy, and screw you, Ron DeSantis!