Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to the Devil Wears Prada, most especially not the part of the dialogue that I humbly borrowed from the movie script. Everything is owned by Lauren Weisberger and 20th Century Fox & co. This is a fanfic done for fun, I am not receiving anything from writing it, no profits whatsoever, just an opportunity to share my love for these characters
Sitting down on the couch of her room, Andy thought about everything that had happened in the past 24 hours and tried to make some sense of it; unfortunately, she was having any luck. Coming into Miranda's room after being summed by her to find her so broken and vulnerable sitting in the couch covered by that grey robe, no makeup on her face, eyes red from crying, it was such a contrast to the work persona the olde woman was always putting for the rest of the world that Andy didn't know how to handle being privy to what lay behind the Devil in Prada. More than anything, she had felt honored knowing how hard it must be for Miranda to do such a thing, to allow someone to see her in such a state, so she tried to do her best to help her boss with anything that she might have needed from her, only to have the woman retreat behind her walls and dismiss her just like that.
It really should have alerted Andy about her attachment to the woman, when that hurt her ten times more than her breakup with her boyfriend of 5 years. She was sad about the path her relationship with Nate had taken, she even had tried to change his mind about it, but alone in what used to be their apartment, as she packed her things to come to Paris, she knew that he was right. She wasn't invested in their relationship as she had been before starting her job at Runway. What he had been in fact wrong was that she didn't change because of the demands of her job; she began to change the moment she first watched the hurricane of a woman that was Miranda Priestly spew her relentless tasks to Emily before ordering to interview Andy herself.
If she was to be completely honest, that was the moment that her life started to revolve around the older woman. Now, she could see that the reason why she had complained about not receiving a thank-you from her boss, was because she wanted to impress the Editor, which was why she had almost lost her breath the moment Miranda perused her after her transformation. To have such clinical eyes on her and to not be found wanting was one of the most exhilarating feelings she thinks she will ever experience in her life. Andy has been stared at by many people, mostly men, but no one could make her world stop just because of it the way Miranda could and did; and that was precisely when a shift occurred inside of her, because her job was no longer about paying the bills, or being the best assistant she could be.
It all became about making Miranda's life easier and not being one of the people that have disappointed her in any way.
The Harry Potter incident was proof of that.
She would have made a deal with the devil himself for those manuscripts, as she ended up doing unbeknownst to herself. To have made the impossible come through and impress such a force of nature like the Editor-in-Chief was almost more than she could handle. Still, she hadn't realized how far deep her need for Miranda in her life was, until she was confronted by it thanks to Nate and his departing words when they had, more or less, broken up. Andy was no longer able to deny that no one in her life was more important to her than the grey-haired woman. However, it wasn't until all she wanted to do seeing her be so vulnerable was to gather the older woman in her arms and kiss those tears away, only to back track and ask if there was anything she could do for her, then be told to do her job, that she understood the nature of those feelings. Without realizing, she had fallen in love with the Devil.
That revelation somehow managed to be surprising and world-shifting, and not knowing how to handle the idea that this love would never be returned, Andy allowed wine and feelings of rejection to lead her into the arms of Christian Thompson. Sleeping with him also felt like this huge middle finger to Nate and everything he had demanded of her in the last months of their relationship; complete devotion to him and his life, contempt towards her for doing the same. So, here she was following this gorgeous man to his bedroom and allowing him to do things to her that Nate had stopped doing a while ago.
However, if you were to ask her, she didn't feel half of what she thought she would have, if her feelings for a certain Editor-in-Chief weren't there reminding her the entire night that the touches running up and down her body would never come from the one person that she wanted. That it would never be Miranda who would bring her to ecstasy the way she just knew the woman would have in another reality where they could be together, because truth be told, that woman was sex in heels and Andy was almost always turned on by her. As screwed up as it was, she didn't reach climax until she closed her eyes and began imagining that it was the older woman instead of Christian; she even had to bite on his shoulders to stop herself from calling out her name in that moment.
Waking up to realize the incredible mistake she made by allowing alcohol and hurt feelings to mix, only to find out that not only was he not the person she wanted him to be, but he was also behind the dethroning of the woman she is in love with, trying to replace her with Jacqueline as if the French woman could compete with what Miranda was or did for Runway. She couldn't get out of his room fast enough, in her mind, there was only the need to warn Miranda about it. The thought of Irv catching her off guard and forcing her to retire was something that Andy would kill to avoid happening.
So, to be confronted with the sight of Miranda talking to him and dismissing her as if she was a clingy bug that was annoying her was more than she could take after everything else. Andy wasn't sure how she got back to her own hotel room, but right now, she didn't care. She only flopped onto her couch, rested her head back before closing her eyes and tried to drown her thoughts that had been running rampant since the night before.
It wasn't until she heard the knocking on her door that she came back to the present moment. She was of mind to ghost whoever it was, but when she heard Nigel's voice calling to her on the other end, she knew she couldn't do that to him. Standing up on shaky legs, she opened the door to his smiling face which quickly turned to concern when he saw the state she was in.
"Six, my God. Are you okay?" he asked as she walked inside, leaving him to follow her, closing the door behind him as she resumed her place on the couch. He came to sit down on the table in front of it, facing her as she stayed silent. "Andy, please say something. I'm beginning to get scared."
Seeing the sincerity in his eyes and hearing it in his voice, she spoke for the first time since Miranda closed the door on her face. "No, I'm not okay, Nige. I don't know if I will ever be again." Her own voice sounded broken to her ears.
Her words did nothing to relax him, quite the opposite, "Why do you say that? What happened?"
"Well, I stole Emily's dream of coming to Paris and although a part of me feels horrible, another felt so happy that Miranda wanted me to come with her even if I am just a second assistant. Then, my boyfriend broke up with me because according to him, the person whose calls I always take is the relationship I'm in, his words. My friends think that I'm a bitch now and don't want to accept the changes I went through the last few months since now, it no longer suits them. Last night, I got to see behind the curtain of Oz, and I saw this human being who I just wanted to protect with my own life if I could, because apparently, I don't have enough problems, so I went ahead and fell in love with Miranda and—"
"Wait, wait, a second. Let me digest all that first before you carry on with the confessions of love for our mercurial boss lady," Nigel said as he adjusted his glasses taking a deep breath. "About Emily, yes, it was bad that she lost this chance, but it will not be her last opportunity to come to Paris or to Fashion Week. Perhaps next time, she will come with a promotion under her belt, so things will work out on that front. As for your boyfriend and your friends, if they can't understand that you are not becoming a bitch, you are just growing up and finally becoming this amazing woman I have in front of me right now, it's their loss, honey." She gave him a small smile at that before he continued, "As for Miranda, I have to say you are not the first to fall for her, even not the first assistant that has done so. She is a force of nature, very few people have what it takes to resist her."
Andy shook her head, "That's the thing, Nigel. They might have fallen in love with the legend, the Fashion Queen, and most of them, like Stephen, wanted to tame her, to turn her into something she is not. But I don't. Although I do love that part of her even when I want to throttle her, I love the woman behind it all even more. I love the mother to the twins. I love all of Miranda exactly as she is. I don't think there is anything about her that I would want to be different, because that would mean she wouldn't be the person she is, and that person is incredible."
He was shocked to see the passion, but most of all, the honesty in every single word she was saying about their mercurial boss. "My God, you do love her."
She chuckled drily, "Yes, I really do."
"Very well, what happened after seeing behind the curtain, which I understand means you got to see who she is underneath the persona?"
"I tried to be there. God, Nigel, you have no idea how much I just wanted to hold her in my arms and protect her from everything that was hurting her, but she realized who she was sharing herself with and those walls came right back up and I couldn't reach her anymore. Instead, she told me to do my job. I felt so rejected, Christian was there with wine and Paris, I slept with him only to wake up today and find out he has been conspiring with Jacqueline Follet to put her as the new Editor-in-Chief of Runway. Apparently, it's a sure thing. He even had a mockup of her first issue."
Nigel felt his blood run cold at her words, "Come again, Andy."
The brunette nodded, "Exactly what you heard. I ran back here to warn Miranda, but she was talking to Irv and sent me away once again." He stood up and began pacing as he tried to get inside Miranda's head, while Andy continued to speak, letting her feelings come out of her. "It seems it doesn't matter what I do to show her that I am here, that I will help her in any way I can, because she doesn't see me, Nigel. She has never seen me as anything other than an assistant who is only useful to take care of her schedule and nothing else. And she isn't wrong, is she? Who am I? What do I have to offer someone like her? Miranda is way out of my league, and I should have known better than to expect the impossible."
The tears fell on her face as she got choked up thinking while Nigel paced the room. His mind was running around the scenario, putting the pieces that Andy had provided with him together to get the whole picture and thanks to the fact that he knows Miranda the longest, and know how she acts when cornered, it didn't take him that long to figure out what her plan was and once he did, he deflated before sighing. Of course, she would do this.
Finally noticing that her friend had stopped, Andy looked up at him and saw sadness on his face, with a hint of understanding; now it was her turn to get worried for him, so she called out for him, catching his attention.
"Nigel. What is it?"
He looked at her before walking back, taking his previous spot on the table in front of her, slouching forward, "I lost it."
Looking confused, Andy asked, "Lost what?"
"My job at James Holt."
"I don't understand. What do you mean?"
"Miranda dismissed you because she already knew what was happening with Jacqueline, Six. It's why she was talking to Irv. She was averting the situation in her favor, making sure he knew it would be in his best interest to give up."
Andy was surprised at his words, "How?"
Nigel gave her a small smile. There was still so much she had to learn about this world they worked in.
"Probably threatening him with the contacts she has in the industry who owe everything they have and are to Miranda. Also, by offering another job to Jacqueline to appease her enough."
Suddenly everything Nigel said made sense as she understood the situation, "Your job."
"It's probably the only thing she can do in such short notice. If she doesn't do this, today might just be her last day at Runway."
Andy made her impression of a goldfish, but before she could dwell on that too much, she looked at the man in front of her and suddenly knew exactly what she had to do. Standing up from her couch, Andy walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him, giving him the tightest hug she could muster. At first, he seemed like a deer caught in headlights, but quickly enough, Nigel returned the comfort she was offering.
"I'm so sorry, Nigel. I know how much you were looking forward to this."
Pulling back, Andy looked at him and his small smile, and was about to say something when he looked at his watch and warned her that she was going to be late for the party and that there was no reason for her to do that, so he left her alone before she shook her head to clear her thoughts as Andy began to prepare herself. She tried to put off her feelings for the white-haired woman to think about what was about to happen and whether she was ready for it.
Soon enough, or too soon for Andy, she was waiting for Miranda downstairs, if she hadn't talked with Nigel, she probably would have been pacing around worried about getting to warn the woman about what her fate was heading out to be, but as she knows that not only does Miranda knows but has already fixed it at the expanse of her own friend nonetheless; Andy was calmly, maybe even too calmly waiting for her. It was not that she didn't understand that the woman had been threatened and cornered against the wall, and the only way she saw to avert this was to thrown Nigel's dream, temporarily she hopes, under the bus. Andy was unhappy over the fact that Miranda didn't at least try to warn Nigel about it. He understood and Andy knows he wouldn't have been against helping her in that way; didn't Miranda know the level of loyalty that she inspired on those that worked with her?
The assistant was deep in thought, but at the feeling of the hair on the back of her neck standing up, she knew that Miranda was about to come in, so she shook her head and straightened up as the Editor-in-Chief walked around the corner and Andy joined her, walking by her side, without uttering a word. Miranda looked at her and her dress, but she tried to ignore the burning feeling those blue eyes always provoked on her when they did that and just focused on stopping before the entrance, holding out her arms to hold the coat and the bag.
Miranda kept staring at her, and at first, she thought of not meeting her eyes, but then, she just looked up and stared at the woman defiantly, daring her to say anything. It wasn't because she loved Miranda with everything in her, with every single bone on her body that it meant she was obligated to like and approve everything the older woman did. She too was allowed to be disappointed in her; and she was.
The older woman then proceeded to do what Andy expected and passed her things to her assistant before walking inside; if Andy didn't know better, she would have sworn she saw apprehension and maybe even guilt in those blue eyes, but how could she think that her opinion mattered to her boss? She was nothing, but the person whose job was to not be incompetent. She was nothing but the smart, fat girl to Miranda and the knowledge she would never be anything but that was more painful than anything she had ever felt before.
Still, hardening herself, Andy went inside and took her seat at Nigel's table beside him and waited as everyone gathered while the man himself took his place on the stage and began his speech. Andy felt even worse because despite knowing what was about to happen to his dream job, the words that came out of his mouth as he spoke about Miranda, all came from a place of sincerity. He really didn't deserve this. She barely remembered to clap as Miranda stood up and went to make her speech. As soon as Nigel sat down, Andy reached to grab his hand and hold it in hers, squeezing it in comfort, letting him know she was there for him. Looking back at her, he gave her an understanding smile over her actions before kissing the back of her hand and turning back to see the woman he had come to love and hate for the past 20 something years.
Once Miranda finished her speech, Andy tuned everything out and simply waited for the whole thing to be over. She barely touched her food, or spoke to anyone that wasn't Nigel, but his attention was always being called away by somebody else who wanted to talk about Jacqueline and James Holt, or even fashion itself, so she let him be. Two hours later, finally Miranda started saying goodbye and Andy stood to gather her things before giving them to the woman as they both made their way to the car that was already waiting outside in silence.
It was only when they were on the road that Miranda spoke, "You thought I didn't know. I've known what was happening for quite some time. It just took me a little while to find a suitable alternative for Jacqueline. And that James Holt job was so absurdly overpaid…that, of course, she jumped at it. So, I just had to tell Irv that Jacqueline was unavailable."
Andy looked at the woman by her side and listened to her words as she continued,
"The truth is, there is no one that can do what I do, including her. Any of the other choices would have found that job impossible and the magazine would have suffered." Miranda sighed as she finally straightened on her seat, from her previous position turned towards the car window. "Especially because of the list. The list of designers, photographers, editors, writers, models, all of whom were found by me, nurtured by me, and have promised me they will follow me whenever and if ever I choose to leave Runway." She chuckled drily. "So, he reconsidered. But I was very, very impressed by how intently you tried to warn me. I never thought I would say this, Andrea but I really…I see a great deal of myself in you. You can see beyond what people want and what they need, and you can choose for yourself."
Andy shook her head. "I don't think I'm like that. L…I couldn't do what you did to Nigel, Miranda. I couldn't do something like that."
The woman replied, "Mm. You already did. To Emily."
That hit the younger woman like a train straight to her chest. "That's not what I…No, that was… that was different. I didn't have a choice," she denied.
Miranda wasn't finished delivering the blow. "Oh, no, you chose. You chose to get ahead. You want this life? Those choices are necessary."
Looking out of the window, Andy asked in a small voice, "But what if this isn't what I want? I mean, what if I don't wanna live the way you live?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Andrea. Everybody wants this. Everybody wants to be us."
As soon as Miranda said that and the car stopped at their next destination, Andy watched the woman put on her sunglasses and change her expression to the fake smile Andy had become used to seeing on her whenever they had to attend events like this. Opening her own door, Andy watched as photographers had to be contained by security as they all tried to get a shot of the Fashion Legend, Miranda Priestly and although Andy knew that it was her job to follow Miranda, something inside of her knew that she wasn't in the right state of mind to be around her; not with so many unresolved things going on with her.
Andy knew that the changes that had been going on in her life were threatening to drown her and being around Miranda right now was like being in the middle of a hurricane of emotions and feelings, she needed time, time away to put herself back together and figure out who is this new Andy. And as she crossed the street, she knew doing that meant taking a step back from the woman she is quite positively sure could be the love of her life, so when the phone rang and she saw it was Miranda, for a moment, the idea of tossing the phone on the water came to her mind, but she knew that even if she were to leave, she needed to speak to the editor one last time, so taking a deep breath, Andy answered the phone.
"Andréa, where are you?" Miranda's voice came through, sounding a bit concerned.
"I'm outside, but I'm not coming in, Miranda. I can't," Andy said and something in her voice must have registered with the woman, because Miranda asked her to wait a moment on the line, which she did. Of course, she did. Very little that the woman asked, she would say no to. It almost didn't register in her mind when she saw the older woman walk out of that place, making her way to where Andy was standing. Thankful that there were no more photographers outside, the almost former assistant took a seat by the fountain and waited as the white-haired woman stopped in front of her.
"Why are you not coming in?" was the first thing Miranda asked.
Andy sighed as she disconnected the unnecessary call before looking up at those blue eyes. "You want me to be completely honest with you? Even if what I have to say it's complete inappropriate and might make you uncomfortable, though that it's the last thing I want?"
Miranda nodded as she crossed her arms, "Yes, now move along. You know how glacial pace thrills me."
Taking a deep breath and deciding she has nothing left to lose, Andy spoke her truth out loud, "You were wrong in the car, Miranda. I didn't do what I did to Emily and say yes to coming to Paris because I want this life. I don't want it, I never have. I did it because I want you. Because I love you. I'm in love with you and what I wanted was to be close to you. That was why I took the offer, why I'm here."
Miranda's shock was obvious on her face which was a first for Andy to watch as the woman is usually so composed even in the worst situations, but right now, something about it was shaking her out of her comfort zone; the assistant would give anything to know what was going on inside her head, but knew it was not up to her to ask.
However, it was Andy's turn to be shocked when Miranda walked forward and took a seat next to her, looking up ahead. She seemed to be fighting against herself over something, but as soon as it began, it seemed to be over, before her voice, softer than usual, broke the silence between them.
"If that is how you feel, why are you trying to leave me? Is it because of what I did to Nigel or because I compared you to me? To be honest, I thought you would have been more surprised about it, but it almost seemed like you were expecting it."
"That's because I was." Miranda turned sharply to look at her with a surprised look, question obvious on her face. "After I left you this morning, I was in my room, dwelling on my feelings and feeling like shit, pardon my French, and then, Nigel appeared. He could see that I was not okay and tried to comfort me so, I told him everything about how I was feeling, as well as what was going on with Irv and Jacqueline and he was the one who figured out what you would do, what your move to save yourself would be. He knew you offered his job for Jacqueline to keep yours. So, yes, we both knew about it."
"How?" the woman whispered.
Andy turned and looked at her, "He is your friend, Miranda. Your best friend, I would wager. He knows you better than you think." The woman looked away. "I'm not exactly happy that you were forced to do this to him to save your job, but I can understand where you were coming from, so I'm not mad at you for that. What I am disappointed is that you didn't even think to share this with him. Many people in your life might be fake, Miranda, but he is not one of them. Nigel would have stood by your side and agreed to your plan from the get-go, because he knows better than anyone that you are Runway. He is as loyal to you as Emily. You didn't have to blindside him like this. You could have trusted your best friend, Miranda. Not everyone will betray you."
"What did he say to you?" was her question, as she processed what Andy had said to her.
"That when the times comes, you would pay him back."
Miranda heard what she said, before asking, "And my first question? If you are so sure you are in love with me as you say, why are you so intent of leaving me so quickly you didn't even think about putting in your notice or even wait for us to get back to New York?"
Andy chuckled, "How deep can I dig my grave with you?"
The white-haired woman gave her a small smirk, "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to hear an honest answer, Andréa."
Shrugging her shoulders, realizing that if she had gotten this far in this conversation might as well go all the way. She could be accused of many things, but a coward was not one of them. Looking away from the woman and watching the people walking around them, she spoke from her heart.
"When I went to that interview with you, I was such an immature girl who believed she knew her place in the world, so self-righteous thinking I was above such a thing as fashion, hence why there was a need for the Cerulean lesson and Nigel's pep talk. And when I decided to put in the hard work, I started to change in ways I never imagined I ever would. I grew up from that smart, fat girl you hired. I started to see the art in what you do at Runway and how important this is to so many people. But the more I grew into this new version of me, the more my boyfriend and friends started to resent me for it. They no longer liked this Andy who was dedicated to being good at what she did even if it was just an assistant job.
And in the middle of all those changes, without realizing I started to fall for you. If I am to be completely honest with you, I think it happened from the moment I saw you walk you. It was like being hit by lightning, and I was not prepared for it at all. But I stayed and suddenly it wasn't the job that was holding me there, it was you. After my makeup, that first moment when you looked at me, I think that was what sealed the deal. I couldn't wait for the day to begin just to have the moment when your eyes were just on me. The more I got to know you, the more I begin to care about doing my best to make your day as easy as possible. Without knowing I began to pull away from Nate and fell more and more into your orbit. So, when you offered me the chance to come to Paris, even though I knew what this would mean to Emily, I said yes, because it meant being with you. And yesterday—"
Miranda for the first time interrupted her, "It broke the spell, didn't it? You finally saw the broken, vulnerable, old woman I am."
Andy turned sharply to look at her, "I have known you for 9 months Miranda, and that was the most beautiful I have ever seen you."
"You can't be serious, Andréa," the editor scoffed at the idea.
"Deadly serious, Miranda." Andy reached out and grabbed her hand in hers, making Miranda look at it before looking back at her. "When I saw you yesterday in that gray robe, no makeup on, red eyes from crying, I never wanted you more than I did then. More than just wanting your body, which I do, I wanted to comfort you. To hug you and remind you that you are better off without that douchebag who can't appreciate the remarkable woman he had by his side. I wanted to show you that even if he didn't know how lucky he was, I knew. I wanted to be there for you, to be the one you let in but then, your walls went back up and suddenly, I couldn't reach you anymore. I was back to just being your assistant, who had a job to do and who had no right to be there for you."
Looking down at their hands and ignoring the way they seemed to fit perfectly together, Andy continued, "I felt rejected, I felt like you didn't want me there, so I went out with Christian trying to get my mind away from you, but then I made a terrible mistake of getting drunk and slept with him, thinking I could get my heart to accept that there was no way I would ever get to be with you the way I want to. Then, this morning, I found out about the whole thing with Irv, and I rushed out of there trying to warn you about it, but once again, you just dismissed me, and I guess that was the nail on the coffin for me. I would never be more than just a mere assistant and what business was mine to think that you could ever see me as anything more than that? To be reminded of my place in your life was devastating. I could hear the cracks, but when I witnessed what you did to someone who has been in your life for so long, I started to think about how unimportant I must be to you, and I just know that the two times you dismissed me in the past 24 hours were more painful than anything. You have the power to destroy me, Miranda, and after everything, I just don't think I can survive that as well. So, I need to leave before that happens."
Andy finished what she had to say and allowed the silence to fill the space between them for a while. Meanwhile, Miranda seemed to be thinking over what she had said, and the younger woman had no idea what was going on inside that beautiful mind.
For the first time in a while, Andy felt like she could breathe easier; talking about things, letting it all out really was a good medicine. She knew what she was risking being so honest with Miranda, but she couldn't regret it even if the editor was to blacklist her across the country. Though something told Andy that she wouldn't do such a thing. If she wanted, there were probably a million reasons in this conversation only for her to do that, but Andy had gotten a glimpse of the woman behind the persona and she trusted that if nothing else, Miranda wouldn't do that.
Looking back at the woman, Andy spoke, "Is it okay for you to be missing right now? They must be looking for you."
Her words apparently were all it took to get Miranda out of her head and back to the present. "What do you plan to do now? What is waiting for you after Runway?" the editor asked curiously. Andy tried to decipher the look on her eyes but couldn't pinpoint it, so she focused on answering the woman.
"If I didn't earn myself being blacklisted—" Miranda scoffed at that before shaking her head, "then, I think I will look for work at a newspaper."
"In New York?"
Nod. "Yes, I do quite enjoy the city and would like very much to stay."
"And the cook?"
This time, it was Andy that scoffed. "I know you just heard me pour out my heart to you, Miranda. How you could think that Nate is even a possibility when I have literally just told you that you are all that I think about is beyond me." Andy turned to look at her with an amused look. "Why you're asking?"
"During your speech, I noticed that you seemed to think that I am indifferent to you, Andréa. I'm positive you have even said that you are now aware of how unimportant you are to me, just another assistant. But that couldn't be further from the truth. Do you honestly think that any assistant would have been invited into my room during a moment of vulnerability? Please, Andréa. They would have never known my feelings about the divorce and my worry about my girls. The only reason why I spoke about it out loud was because it was you there. You and no one else."
Andy couldn't believe what she was hearing. She must be dreaming if this is going where she thinks it is.
Miranda continued, "If you accepted coming here just because you wanted to be with me, I should probably tell you that I invited you because of the same reason. Emily could have come, it could have even been a trial by fire, seeing how she handled everything here with her cast. But I wanted you here, just as I wanted to allow you to comfort me yesterday. How could I have done such a thing when I had no idea you felt this way? You managed to hide your feelings quite well, darling. Even I couldn't see it, not until right now when you flat out told me about it."
Andy had to stop for a moment and catch herself as she processed what she had just heard come from the woman that until two minutes ago she believed could never return her feelings, but was now being told that in fact, Miranda felt the same way about her and had for a while now. This had to be a dream; there was no way this could be anything but that.
"If that's true, why did you push me away? Why didn't you let me be there for you?"
"And do what darling? Confess my feelings to my much younger, very straight assistant during the middle of a divorce? I couldn't have done that and like I said, you hid your feelings very well. I was sure that this was completely one sided, so why risk it all when only a no waited for me on the other side?" Miranda explained shrugging her shoulder.
"I think it's safe to say that is very much not one sided, Miranda."
Smirking, the older woman replied, "I see that now, my dear. I see that now."
Returning the smirk, but leaning towards more of a smile, Andy asked the question that seemed to be burning her mind. "What now?"
Turning serious, Miranda looked at the girl, "I think that as much as we both might want this, now is not the right time for it." Andy had to look away at that, which didn't go unnoticed by the white-haired editor. "I'm not more a fan of this reality than you, Andréa. You know how glacial pace thrills me—" Andy chuckled at that, "but, I am going through a divorce that will be very public and I have the girls to get through it before putting a lesbian relationship on top of that. And I think you need this time for yourself too. To make peace with the person you once were and are not anymore and to figure out who you would like to be going forward. At least it's what I understood from what you just told me you need."
"You're right." Andy nodded looking back at the older woman, "I think I need to find out who this new version of Andy truly is before anything else and I would never want to be more trouble to you or the girls, so you're absolutely right that now is not our time to figure this out. But here's the thing, Miranda. Now that I know you feel the same way, how in the world am I supposed to find the strength to be away from you?"
Miranda wanted to badly to reach out and kiss her, but she knew better than to do that in such a public place at this time, so she simply looked ahead at the people, "I don't know, but we must, for the sake of what we want to have or be in the future."
The former assistant seemed to understand and resigning herself to this being a goodbye for now, she asked instead, "What are we going to do then? What is the gameplan?"
"It will take a year or a little less for the divorce to be finalized, so I propose we both take that time apart to work on whatever we have to and when it happens, when Stephen is finally out of my life for good, then we can meet again and see if we still want to give this a go. What do you think?" Miranda asked her, worriedly about what she would respond.
Thinking a bit about what the woman suggested, she knew that it was the best course of action. There was so much work she needed to do on herself, and she was sure Miranda was the same, perhaps even if both of them wanted this so much, neither were truly ready for it to happen right now. They both needed to be better to do better at this relationship, so understanding the importance of what Miranda was suggesting, Andy agreed with the plan.
"Okay then. Since we are apparently both with the dramatics, how about in a year, during the next Paris Fashion Week, we meet right here in this place and see where we want to go from there?" she smiled at that.
"How romantic comedy of you, darling," Miranda smiled right back. "Since I will already be here in Paris, am I supposed to wait for you to show up? That's awfully confident of you. Am I to trust that in a year you will even still want me?"
Looking at the older woman, Andy replied, "In a year, I will be right here, with a ring and a question to ask you, that I hope you will say yes to. How is that for being sure I will still want you, Priestly?"
Knowing exactly what Andréa was hitting at, Miranda couldn't hide her shock at her words, but more than that, at the fire and the certainty behind those doe eyes as they stared at her. Not wanting to be outdone by the younger girl, Miranda smirked.
"I heard that question and gave that answer two times before Andréa. What makes you think that it will be different?"
"Because you will never hear it a fourth time, Miranda. This is it."
The intensity with which they stared at one another after that, the sexual tension that you could cut with a knife; well, safe to say it took everything in them not to do anything that would compromise Miranda right there, and that was the cue the editor needed to do that hard thing and say goodbye. Standing up, prompting the younger woman to do the same, Miranda gave her a hug.
At first Andy was taken aback, btu waste no time in wrapping her arms around the woman she loved, bringing her tighter against her. How could she ever want anyone else after this? The answer was simple, she couldn't and wouldn't. That she knew for sure.
Whispering in her ear, Andy said firmly, "Once I have you, I will never let you go again."
Shivering from that, whispering right back to her ear, Miranda replied, "Once you have me, I will not want you to."
Taking another moment to bask in each other's embrace, it was up to Miranda to break the hug, not before delivering a longing kiss on Andy's cheek before turning around and walking away, crossing the streets back to where she came from, leaving her former assistant and future fiancée if the girl was to be believed, watching her as she did so.
As for Andy, she wiped the tear that fell down her face, knowing this would be the last time, and with that in mind, she looked at the phone on her hand and with a smile, chucked it into the fountain. Then, she finally began to make her way back towards the hotel, managing to book herself a flight back to New York that same night and proceeded to pack her things before taking it all to the back of the taxi when it was time to head out to the airport. As her flight took off, Andy could only look out the window and think that the next time she saw this city, she would have everything she wants. With those thoughts of what the future waits for her, Andy allowed herself to relax and close her eyes to sleep.
