Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, nor its characters. This series would have bits and pieces of the episodes and dialogues, but the rights are exclusively reserved for Ryan Murphy and Co. I only own the parts that are my creation and I am not doing this for any other reason than fun.


For someone like Quinn Fabray, to show weakness in front of anyone was something unthinkable. She had been taught from a young age that doing so was a stupid mistake and as a Fabray, being stupid was not an option. Being raised in such a household could seriously cripple someone emotionally and lately, especially since the funeral of Coach Sylvester's sister when Finn let her know that he thought she was nothing but a robot, or just a cold-hearted bitch, the blonde had been contemplating just how much that could apply to her. But the truth was she felt things as deeply as other people, she was just never allowed to show it and now, she isn't sure she even knows how to lower down those walls of her to let somebody in. So, it came as a surprise, when she did the unusual and broke down in front of people, letting them see just a bit of the turmoil she was feeling inside.

Allowing herself to express her emotions to Santana and Brittany, show them that she was not as okay as she liked to portray herself to be, was something that Quinn had honestly never imagined she was capable of doing, not when she could still hear her father's words ringing in her ears saying that doing so only proved that she was weak and not worthy of being a Fabray. But there was something to be said about holding back your emotions for years on end, never allowing herself to feel some of them because you were told you could never do that. Along with years of lying to herself about who she is, what she wants, that the life she was living was what she wanted for herself, it seemed to have finally taken its toll on the blonde and she could no longer hold it in.

She might not say it yet, but, if there was anyone she would feel okay with allowing to see her this way, it was the other two thirds of the Unholy Trinity. People have misconceptions about their friendship and how fake it is and whatnot, but only the three of them knew the bond they had with each other.

There isn't a bad bone in Brittany's body and that was something Quinn had seen it from the first day when she transferred to McKinley and the blonde girl was the first one to approach her and offer her a warm welcome in her bubbly way. There was always something pure about the blonde that spoke to Quinn's softer side which meant she never could treat Brittany badly. She just brought out the best in both her and Santana. She really was the glue that kept their trio together.

As for Santana, it might the hardest friendship to understand because at first glance, the two could only be described as frenemies on their best days, not mentioning the worst days. They have fought, they have undermined each other, they have spilled out secrets that got the other in trouble, but there is a bond between the two of them that sometimes they don't even understand it themselves, but that it's there and it's real, choosing to show itself when one of them truly needs the other. And deep down, Quinn knew that Santana got her back if she needed to, just like she got her, if there was ever a moment when the Latina would need her to. Otherwise, barbs here and there was how they operated, and they were happy with it.

So, to be able to vulnerable with both of them, knowing they had her best interest at heart, was a reprieve from her usual line of actions. And so, when Santana suggested the haircut, at first, Quinn had been skeptical about it, since her father had never allowed her to cut her hair too short, even when she was still Lucy, so at the moment she could only hear his voice as he told her that only men and dykes would wear short hair. That ladies had to have long hair. However, thinking about how he still controlled even such a simple thing in her life even after a year of zero contact with the man was what convinced her to do it and as she sat on the chair and allowed Santana to cut her long locks into a bob, she found it to be such a therapeutic and self-discovery experience that she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed.

So much so that she knew that she needed some time to herself to digest everything she was thinking and feeling at the moment. The girls understanding that didn't even blink an eye when Quinn told them that she would be going for a walk in the city but that she would be back later. All they told her was to call them if she needed anything, and with that promise made, she grabbed her coat and just walked out of the hotel and onto the busy streets of New York without a particular destination in mind, since she didn't know much about it, despite the song they had sung earlier about it when they arrived.

Still, with or without any intention from her, she ended up in Central Park and she could only sit down on the edge of the fountain as she watched the people around her and started to think about her life and how different it must be from them.

As she reflected about what happened earlier and how it had almost been difficult to allow herself to make a decision about her hair just because of what her father's opinion about it would have been, it made her ask herself what aspects of her life was still being controlled by that man and just how much was she still allowing his words to dictate how she lives her life.

And one of the first things that came to mind was Lucy.

When Lauren dug up her past back from the grave, many memories came back to Quinn and even if a lot of her motivation for her transformation had been her need to fit in, be accepted and no longer the butt of the joke, most of what prompted her to go down that path was her dad. Seeing just how low she was on the food chain in her previous school and how she was treated by her classmates didn't make him worried about her, but rather disappointed that a Fabray would allow herself to be so weak as to be used by other people as their punching bag.

She saw herself through his eyes as a loser and unworthy, so to please him and make him proud of her, she worked hard to lose weight and get into gymnastics, and it was why he so readily agree to get her a new nose, anything to make her the perfect image expected of any daughter of his and of a Fabray. So, to please him and to put herself in the position he thought was the only one she should have, she joined the Cheerios and forced herself to become the Head Bitch in Charge so she could tell him that she was now the most important person in the school. That she was now someone he could say he was proud of.

Which is why she did everything she could to maintain that position, even knowing deep down her heart, that the way she treated other people was wrong and that it wasn't something to be proud of, but still it was what she needed to make him happy with her, so she did. However, all it took was one night for all her efforts to become meaningless.

Though she would never consider her daughter as a mistake, how she was conceived was a serious lack of judgement from her part and serious amount of second intentions from Puck. He should have known better than to take advantage of her because she was drunk. Not drunk enough to not remember anything she had done or said, but she was still under the influence of alcohol, and he should have never pushed for more. The only thing that made it slightly better for her was that she knew that he would have stopped if she had wanted him to, but in that moment, she didn't for many reasons, but one scared her more than anything else.

It is something that as she sits here right in this moment and contemplate other people and think about their lives, she is finally able to admit it to herself that one of the reasons she slept with Puck was because she wanted to know if she would be able to feel things with him since she never felt anything with Finn. If she had, then the issue was with her boyfriend, but if she didn't, then the problem was with her. And guess what was the answer to that question?

She hadn't started dating Finn because she liked him in the way girls are supposed to like boys. He was the quarterback, and she was the head cheerleader; they were high school cliché waiting to happen. Besides he was gullible enough that she could convince him of pretty much everything, including that he had gotten her pregnant via hot tub, so avoiding advancing the steps with him wouldn't be as hard as other boys. He wouldn't question her religion and decision to remain celibate, even if he wanted to. She was after all the hottest girl in school, and everyone was envious of him for dating her, so she knew he wouldn't jeopardize that just to get into her pants.

But when she got with Puck and didn't feel anything at all when he was kissing her, even when things got more heated, still there was nothing happening for her, and she found herself not understanding what all the hype about sex was if this was all there was to it. Still, she couldn't help but reach the conclusion that something was wrong with her when she didn't feel anything with the hottest guy in school doing all these things to her body that should have alighted her in flames on the inside. But when confronted with the thought that catching Brittany and Santana making out made her feel more turned on that having sex with Puck ever could have, she shut down in panic.

She couldn't be.

She didn't have a problem with her friends or anyone else, if that was who they were, but she was a Fabray.

Fabray's were not gay.

She couldn't like girls.

She did, though.

Quinn, in this moment, could finally admit to herself that she didn't like boys, she liked girls. For the first time, in her life, even if only in her mind, she could say the words.

She was a lesbian.

The moment, she thought that she felt the shame that being raised in the household she was raised in try to take over her discovery, but she knew that was all her father and she was choosing to effectively refuse to allow him to dictate one more second of her life and how she was going to live it. He didn't get to keep her miserable like he made them all be for her entire childhood. All these years were more than enough.

He was out of her mind, now she just needed to get him out of her mind.

Still, making this choice didn't mean that she didn't panic about what this could mean for her and when she thought about her life, she knew there was only one point of her life that she was afraid of how this would affect. Because when it came to popularity, she wasn't as worried about that as she had once been. She didn't want to be popular or to have the students part way for her like the Red Sea; all she wanted was to be happy for the first time.

She wanted to be proud of who was staring at her back in the mirror, not just because of her looks, which she was aware was what most people noticed about her and although at one point she had wanted that more than anything, she didn't anymore; it was exhausting to only be judged by how hot you look and she didn't like it, not when she knew there was more to her than just that. She was the #1 student in academics for a reason. Quinn wanted more than to just be a bitch. Because if that was all she was, then what was the difference between herself and Russell? And she refused to be anything like that man.

However, despite everything, she did want to be a cheerleader again, because it was fun and freeing, she just didn't want to be the bitch that she allowed herself to become being a Cheerio. As for coming out and being bullied versus being in the closet and a bully, being on both sides of the spectrum, she knew that the latter was not fun at all; quite the opposite, it was depressing, and it made her very unhappy. Besides she wasn't the same person she had been last year or even the same person she had been a few days ago. This was a new Quinn and she wanted to be more. And she knew that her friends, the only ones who mattered would be by her side through the name calling, the slushies and everything else that will come her way.

No, the only thing that truly worried her was her mother. Things had been getting better between them ever since Quinn went back home after having Beth. Her mother had truly decided to turn over a new leaf for her daughter and most importantly for herself. Judy had gotten a job as a realtor, quit drinking and started spending more time at home with Quinn, trying to be the mother she had failed to be before because of her fear of Russell. Things were finally good, and she was scared that this would be the thing that would break them for good, because she didn't think that now that she was able to admit this was her, she would be able to pretend to be something else again. More importantly, Quinn found herself not wanting to hide who she is, what she likes, who she loves, anymore. But she also didn't want to lose the only parent she had left, and she didn't want to be kicked out again.

And she didn't know that it was because she was feeling the adrenaline of being truthful for once in her life or it was because she wanted to get it over with quickly to know exactly where she stood with her mother, that she found herself picking up her phone and dialing the familiar number before putting it against her ear, listening to the call before the other person answered and she heard her mother's voice speak.

"Hello, Quinnie."

Swallowing the knot on her throat, the girl, replied, "Hi, mom."

"Hi, sweetie. Wasn't expecting your call. Is it over already? Did you win?"

Quinn chuckled. "No, mom. Competition is only tomorrow."

"Oh, okay. Is something wrong with you?"

She could hear the worry start to pick up on her mother's voice, so she quickly responded, "No, everything is fine. Mom, I'm okay." Sighing, she continued, "Perhaps for the first time in a long while, I'm finally okay."

"Why do you say that sweetie?"

"I have been sitting in Central Park for over—" she looked at her watch, "—an hour, just thinking about my life and how much of it is still being controlled by Russell and his opinions even if he is no longer a part of it. I cut my hair." She heard her mother intake of breath, but she didn't stop. "Well, Santana cut it really, but I did it. Not too short, just up to my shoulders, still, when I was doing, all I could think was that he was still the reason why I had never changed it before, because of what he used to say to me about it."

"I'm sure it looks great on you, baby. I'm glad you are doing things that you like. Can't wait to see it."

"Thanks mom. I really liked it. I think I'm going to keep it like this for a while. Anyway, that was just the beginning. I start to think back on how my life has been decided by what would make him proud, what would make me worthy of the Fabray name in his eyes, what would stop me from being a disappointment to him and you. And I realized that the list was way too big," Quinn said as she looked around her to the nature in front of her and admired its beauty.

"I know, baby, but I hope that in the last year, I have been able to show you that all I need is for you to be exactly who you want to be. You're my daughter, Quinn. Even if I hadn't been the best at showing it to you, I hope you know that I love you and your sister more than anything and in spite of anything."

The girl heard the sincerity in her mother's voice and knew that this was the time. "I know, and I'm living in the hope that it's still true after I tell you about the biggest thing I found out about myself, or really, was able to admit to myself not twenty minutes ago."

"Whatever it is, I'll still be here, Quinn."

"I'm gay, Mom." Quinn sighed. "I like girls, not boys." There was a bit of silence from the other side, which made her anxious. Quinn looked at her shoes and her hand resting on her lap as she continued, "It's why I slept with Puck. I wanted to feel something for a boy since I didn't feel anything for Finn. It's why it was so easy to cheat on him with Puck and cheat on Sam with Finn. I never really liked any of them romantically. Dating them felt like a chore, something I had to do because it was the way I was supposed to be, how I was supposed to feel and it shouldn't matter that I didn't like it when they held my hand, or wrapped their arms around me, or kissed me. I had to be with them because no Fabray can be gay. Almost like I could hear daddy's voice in my head."

There were still in tears in her eyes, and she was trying everything to not break down in public, but still she pushed through, "But I have been miserable, Mom. I don't know what is like to be happy. I don't know how it feels to love someone and be loved in return. I don't know how to look forward to waking up in the morning because I enjoy living. It's a chore and I don't know for how long I can keep doing it without breaking. So, as hard as it is for me, I need to begin thinking about myself and how I can start living a healthy life, a happy one, where I can smile because my heart is so filled with joy there is nothing else for me to do but to be glad I'm alive. I need to feel that, Mom. So, I want to be honest with who I am, and I am gay."

"I know this is a lot and something I shouldn't have dropped on you over the phone, but if I didn't tell you right now, I would have burst. I understand if you need some time to think about it and if you find that you can't accept it, that's okay. I can get my stuff from home when I get back. I just needed to be honest with you and myself for once, no matter the cost. I'm sorry," Quinn said as she finished pouring her heart out. She waited for her mom to say something but there was still silence on the other line, and her heart dropped to her feet, knowing what her mother's answer would be. "It's okay, mom. I understand. I'll get my stuff—"

She was saying when her mother interrupted Quinn. "Sweetie, what was the name of the hotel you're staying in New York?"

Confused by the question, Quinn answered, before she asked, "Why do you want to know that?"

"Because I'm booking myself a flight to New York and a room in the same hotel you're in, of course."

Shocked wouldn't be enough to describe how Quinn was feeling hearing that, "Say what now?"

"Come on, Quinnie. Do you really think I'm going to stay here when you clearly need me to be there for you? I'm going to New York, I'm going to give you the biggest hug I have ever given you, then I'm going to watch you sing and then you are going to tell me all about this girl that you like? What do you think about that plan?"

Quinn shook her head, "I don't understand."

"I'm saying that I love you and that I have no issue with you being gay or not. You are my daughter, and that is all that matters to me. I also know how hurtful your father's influence has been in your life and I blame myself for allowing you to grow up like that. But thank the Lord, you have given me a second chance to make up for it and if you think the idea of having a daughter in law is going to make me screw this up, you are delusional, honey. And, please, don't ever say anything about packing your stuff ever again. The only time you are ever going to pack your stuff to leave this house is when you are going to college, you hear me, Lucy Quinn Fabray?"

Quinn didn't have any words to say to everything she just heard, but it seemed her mother was not finished. "Look honey, I got myself a flight in about an hour and a half, so I need to pack, but I'll be there soon, okay? We'll talk more than, but I love you and nothing is going to change between us. I still want you and I'm never letting you go again, okay?"

"Okay. I love you too Mom. Thank you," she whispered, overcome with emotions, the good kind. "See you soon, I guess."

"See you soon, baby. And you don't have to thank me for this. Just finally doing my job as your mother."

Quinn disconnected the call after that, but stayed awhile looking at her phone, convincing herself that the conversation happened, that it was real and that she didn't just dream it up. It went better than she could have hoped for, or even imagined. As it finally started to sink in that she had come out to her mom and that she was okay with it, Quinn couldn't hold in the laughter inside of her. And this was exactly what she had told her mother she wanted, to be so happy that there was no other reaction she ought to have other than to smile and laugh.

The blonde girl spent some more time walking along the park before she decided to make her way back to the hotel, with a permanent smile on her face. This day started so heavy and depressing, she had felt like she was suffocating trying to make sure of who she was and what she wanted the rest of her life to be like, but now, it felt like she was coming out of prison and experiencing freedom for the first time. There weren't enough words to express what Quinn felt in that moment. She actually was looking forward to what life had in store for her now that she finally decided to be true to herself, consequences be damned. This was a new chapter on her journey and the blonde knew exactly how she wanted to continue on with this paradigm shift.

Taking the elevator, Quinn knew that the group was probably either rehearsing for their group song, or brainstorming for the last music of their set, which they still haven't written, and thanks to her revelation, Quinn had an idea for a song that would express what she was feeling, even better it would be sung by the girl that inspired the song in the first place, so quickly making her way towards her room and texting Santana to let her know that she was okay and back at the hotel but would like to be alone for a while longer, Quinn grabbed her laptop, so headphones and left to find a secluded place where she could let it the words flow out of her. For better or for worse, words had always been her weapon of choice, so finding a nice spot for herself, she began putting her feelings into words, words into verses and in no time at all, she had written the song.

The next step was to create the melody, and she thanked the piano lessons she had been forced to take since she was a little girl since as a Fabray, she should have multiple talents to show off other people just how much better the family was. She had an app to create beats and such that she was using to write the songs for Regionals that they didn't end up using anyway, which she had been just a bitter about it, until she had heard the one Rachel presented and it was like the most beautiful and painful song that anyone could have written about her. Quinn already knew what she wanted it to sound like, so putting the sounds together, didn't take her as much time as you would have thought and when she looked at the clock, it was already night.

However, as she was putting the song together, she decided that there was no way that she could keep the secret of her crush on Rachel from the girl any longer, and perhaps she could even use the sing to express what she had failed for so long to let the girl know, that she was the one that Quinn wanted more than she seemed to want anything else in her life, aside from her daughter.

So, getting her things together, she went back to the elevator to go to their room, hoping she could catch the diva and talk to her alone, and maybe for once in her life, say the right words to the girl she was so in love with. With her heart thundering inside her chest, Quinn turned the doorknob and walked inside, quickly noticing that all the girls were there, but except the one she was looking forward to seeing.

"Hey, girl. Where the hell have you been? Mr. Schue was asking after you," Mercedes greeted her.

"Don't worry, Juno. Told him you were okay and would be back," Santana supplied from her spot on the bed, tangled with Brittany.

Quinn nodded her head at the Latina, "Thanks, S." Turning to Mercedes, she answered her, "I just needed to breathe, I was getting suffocated in this place." Then, she addressed all of them, "Have any of you seen Rachel? I need to talk to her about something very important."

Judging by the smirk on the Tina and Mercedes' faces, and even Santana's, Quinn knew that she wasn't going to like the answer. She was right.

"Well, apparently, Finn has decided to win back our little diva by pulling out all the stops for a romantic evening in New York, with Kurt's help and some of the boys as well," Mercedes told her.

"It seems like they are ready to give it a try again," Tina agreed.

The air felt being sucked right out of Quinn's lungs at that, because she knew exactly what this meant. If there was one thing that has been a constant is Rachel's love for Finn and her desire to be with him again, so why she seemed to have thought that she stood any chance with the girl when she was up against him was beyond her. Even without their past to put even more weight on the scales against her, there was no competition.

Finn was the one Rachel loved and she never made a point to keep that a secret, so there was no doubt in Quinn's mind that when the night was over, the couple would be back together, being sickeningly disgusting as she remembered, only this time it would hurt even more than before.

She could hear the girls talking about it, but her mind wasn't registering it, or anything really, not until she felt her phone vibrate and she shook herself out of her stupor before looking at it to see it was a message from her mother telling her that she had landed and was on her way to the hotel and would probably be there in a few minutes. Quinn texted her back asking if she could stay with her mother for the rest of the night, to which Judy promptly agreed, only reminding Quinn to let her teacher know about it so he wouldn't get worried.

Quinn told her she would, and they agreed to meet in the lobby to get to their new room together. Turning to the girls when she heard her name being called, the blonde tried to pay attention to what they were saying, trying to ignore the pain currently residing inside her chest. She knew that after everything she had done, it was the least that she deserved.

"Quinn, are you good?" Mercedes asked her.

"Yeah, Q, you haven't said a word at all. Kind of spooky," Santana spoke, as the blonde could see genuine worry in the latina's eyes but shrugged it off.

Shaking her head and putting a smile on her face, she replied, "Sorry, I just got distracted. My mom is coming to New York and staying here, so she was asking me to stay with her in her room and to let Mr. Schue know where I was. That's all."

Santana, though as shocked as the others, still spoke up, "Judy is coming here?"

Nodding before going to her bags to pack her things, since she doubted she would be coming back to this room, Quinn nodded. "Yeah, I talked to her earlier and she decided to come stay here so she could see us perform tomorrow. We have a lot to talk about as well, so it seemed this was her solution. I'll probably be staying with her until we leave back to Ohio, so you guys can have more space."

Luckily, they seemed to have accepted her explanation and for once, didn't push for more, that was until Tina asked, "What was so important you wanted to talk to Rachel about? We can tell her if you want."

"No, that's okay. It was something silly now that I think about it."

And it was the truth. Now, that she had time to think about her plans, she realized how ill thought out they were. There was no way Rachel would ever feel the same way about her. not when she was so in love with Finn as he seemed to be with her, though Quinn had serious doubts about it. Besides, there was still so much that she needed to work on herself that it really was for the best that Rachel was not here right now.

Still, a huge part of Quinn couldn't help but hope against hope that for once, things could have worked out in her favor, even if she didn't deserve it to.

After saying goodbye to the girls, thankful that they didn't seem to need to many answers to be satisfied with this new arrangement, with her suitcase behind her, the girl made her way to the door of Mr. Schuester's room and knocked on it twice. It only took a moment for the man to open it and be surprised to see Quinn with her bag on her hand.

"Quinn, what is going on?" he asked, seemingly truly concerned about what could be happening to his student.

"My mom is coming to stay here to see me perform tomorrow and she wanted me to stay with her in her room, so I just came to tell you where I would be in case you didn't see me in the girls' room," was her short explanation.

She gave him some time to digest her words, before he nodded his head in understanding, realizing there was no safer place for her to be than with her own mother. "Alright, thanks for telling me. Just remember that we still need to meet to practice the songs for tomorrow's performance, so just be in the training room at 7:00 am sharp, alright?"

Nodding she gave him a small smile, "Sure, thanks Mr. Schue. Just there is one more thing I need to talk to you about."

Quinn had been sitting in one of the chairs in the lobby as she waited for her mom to arrive, contemplating her life and how she had let get to the point where it only brought unhappiness to her, how her actions had pushed away the people she had wanted to be closer to her now. There was so much that she needed to fix about herself that she was surprised she was crumbling down in tears facing the reality of it all. But having a purpose has always been something that motivated her rather than brought her down, it was how she got herself fixed during summer before freshman year of high school, by dedicating herself to checking all her goals and this time, she didn't think it would be different, just harder, perhaps.

Fixing years of behavior was much less difficult than just controlling her diet. It would mean going against what she had spent her entire life being taught by her father and that would be no walk on the park, but Quinn was done being a coward, so whatever happened, she would face it and conquer it.

It wasn't long after she got settled that she finally noticed her mother dragging a small suitcase behind her, seemingly searching for her in the sea of people walking around the place before she finally found her. the smile that lit up her mother's face undid the knot that had formed in her stomach without her realizing; a knot that had root in the idea that since they had last spoken things have changed, her mother changed her idea about accepting this new version of Quinn, but that smile let her know that nothing changed; in fact, her mother seemed more determined than ever. That was comforting.

Judy didn't waste any time before making her way towards her, so Quinn stood up and waited for her mother to get to her, and when she did, Quinn found she had spoken the truth. She really gave the younger blonde the tightest hug she had ever received, and Quinn couldn't help but to respond in kind and hug the woman just as tightly. For the first time that day, she finally allowed herself to relax completely, feeling that her mother was there to support her.

It was one of the best feelings she could remember experiencing, which said a lot about her life before this day, doesn't it?

"I love you, honey. I'm so proud of you. You're perfect just the way you are."

Those were the words her mother kept repeating in her ear as they stayed like that for a while, completely ignoring the rest of the people in the lobby as if they didn't even exist. Quinn didn't know how much she needed to hear those words until she felt herself choke up and tears fall down her face as she buried her face against her mother's neck, prompting the older woman to hug her even tighter.

She didn't want to let go, but she didn't want to break down in front of strangers, so she pulled back and wiped away her tears before facing her mother. "We should get you checked in, then we can talk."

"Of course, sweetheart, let's go", Judy agreed before motioning for her daughter to follow her.

Quinn did and in no time at all, they were inside the elevator going towards their assigned room, which was actually better than any of the rooms New Direction had booked for them, but those were the perks of having money won through the divorce; still, the younger blonde took the time to text Mr. Schue and Santana the number of the room she was in, so they would know where to find her just in case. When they got in and put their suitcase by the bed, both women faced each other, before Judy stepped forward and caught Quinn's face on her hands.

"How about you go take a shower while I order us something to eat, then I'll do the same and we can eat and talk? How does that sound honey?"

Agreeing with her mother's plan and receiving a kiss on the cheek by the older blonde, Quinn opened her suitcase to get the stuff she would need out before going to bathroom and taking a shower, allowing the water to wash away some of the pressure and the weight of this day off her. This was the beginning of a new chapter in her life, and she wanted to start with an open mind and an open heart. She wanted the rest of her life to be better than the previous half of it had been, and she would make her hardest to make sure she never again has to look in the mirror and be ashamed of who's stares back at her.

In 15 minutes, she was done and changed into her pajamas, giving her mother the free pass to use the shower next, while Quinn waited for the food to arrive. The younger blonde went to the window of the room and just looked outside at the city lights; however, her musings didn't last for long when there was a knock on the door, and she opened it for the food to be brought in. After giving it a heft tip, she moved the food towards the table and began to set for both of them, just in time for her mother to join her. And they both agreed to hold the talk to after they had eaten.

In the meantime, they talked about everything and nothing at all. Quinn told her about what it had been like being in the city and what she had seen of it so far, while her mother told her about the gossip going on in her office. They laughed at some of the stories the other told, and the mood was lighter than either of them expected, but it was nice, and they were both thankful for it. However, when they were finished and freshen up, they moved to the couch for this next part of the evening, and Quinn became apprehensive again, but decided to trust her mom and relax a bit. She sat with her back against the couch and her knees pulled up against her chest with her arms wrapped around her legs, her chin resting on top of them. As for her mother, she sat sideways, facing Quinn, wanting to look at her daughter as they reached this next milestone in their relationship.

"So, where do we begin?" Judy asked softly, letting Quinn know she was calling the shots.

Feeling grateful for that and wanting to speak to her mom, she began her tale, "I think the first time I had an inkling that I liked girls was when I was still Lucy. One of the cheerleaders in my old school was so pretty and I remember wondering how nice it would be to kiss her, but I immediately came up with tons of excuse why I would even think that. None of it was the truth. They couldn't be and I never really liked any girl, so it was easier there to put this in the very back of my mind, so deep down that there could never be any chance of it coming up and making itself known."

Quinn shook her head. "All I wanted to do was make daddy proud. I didn't want him to keep looking at me like he did when I was Lucy, like I was an embarrassment to the Fabray name. I wanted him to be happy with me, because that would mean he loved me, so I decided that the best way to do that was be more like Frannie, only better. So, I did everything she used to do, dyed my hair blonde, got that nose job, joined the Cheerios and became the captain freshman year, started dating the quarterback and commanded respect the way any Fabray was expected too."

"But that was never who you are, Quinnie," Judy said, making her daughter look at her in confusion, so she explained herself, "You have always been different from your father. Frannie, she wasn't the perfect daughter Russell believed either, but she was too good of a liar for him to catch on anything. You, on the other hand, you used to be so honest about your feelings and you always felt things deeply, even if you learned not to show it."

"Yeah, I was never what you would expect a Fabray to be, and I used to be so sad about that, but I shouldn't be, should I mom? It's not exactly a good thing to be a Fabray if it means being anything like Russell?"

Chuckling, Judy agreed with a nod of her head, "No, I don't think it is, sweetie." Quinn nodded, not knowing what to say after that, but her mother had a few deep questions, "When did things change? Why weren't you able to ignore this part of you anymore? Or should I say, who made you unable to hide?"

Looking back ahead of her, Quinn sighed as she closed her eyes before she began speaking, "When I began at McKinley, I really thought this would be a better place for me, I could leave Lucy, the bullying and everything she represented behind, began anew and be who I was meant to be. A proper Fabray. But then, as I was walking past the auditorium, I heard this beautiful voice coming from there and I decided to take a peek to see who the person was singing and that was when I saw her for the first time. Rachel Berry."

"That's Hiram and LeRoy Berry's daughter, right?" her mother questioned surprising her.

"Yeah, that's her. How do you know her dads?"

"I'm from Lima, Ohio, honey. I went to school with LeRoy, and something tells me his daughter was just like him, a theater geek, bottom of the food chain, not taken serious, am I right?" Quinn nodded confirming, as she remembered that it was true. Her mother moved away for college which was when she met Russell. Judy continued, "He was a nice guy. I liked him, even if he was too much a bit for my taste sometimes."

Chuckling, Quinn replied, "That's a nice way to describe how most people feel about Rachel."

"Tell me more about her. What happened after you found her in the auditorium?"

"I was mesmerized by her. Rachel's talent, her voice is… I don't even know how to describe and just like that, on my first day in the new school, I happened to meet someone who made all those feelings I buried come to the surface with such strength, sometimes it took everything in me to push myself to walk away from her. So, it became quite clear she was the biggest threat to this farce I had made of myself, she was a weakness, and you know what daddy said about them. If you have a weakness, destroy it before it destroys you. So, that's what I did, or tried to do. I became the very thing I used to hate. I became a tormentor, I made students throw slushies at her, called her some insult nicknames, did everything I could to push her as far away from me as possible. I did horrible things to her trying to keep a hold of my fragile mask."

Shaking her head in disgust, Quinn continued, "When Finn asked me out, I knew it was exactly what I needed to complete the perfect picture of my life and he was too trusting to question me about things. But it didn't take long for me to realize that I didn't feel anything when I was with him, I didn't feel any sparks, butterflies, none of it. It felt wrong, mom. Being with Finn felt so wrong, his hand was too big, too rough, his arm too heavy, it was just not what I wanted, but I kept telling myself it was just because I didn't love him. But then, last year he decided to join Glee club and I had to see him perform with Rachel and I felt so jealous I could barely contain myself; I just didn't allow myself to admit that I was jealous of Finn since it wasn't a secret that she had a crush on him. And I wanted to be the one she liked even if I did everything to make her hate me."

"Was that when and why you slept with that boy that got you pregnant?"

"Yeah. I told him it was about feeling fat, but it was nothing like that. I just needed to convince myself that I didn't like Rachel, I just didn't like Finn like that, but I was just supposed to kiss him, feel the sparks and relax knowing I wasn't gay. But then he offered some drink and I found out I was a light weight, so a kiss turned into more and then, we had sex. I think I wouldn't have hated myself so much if it had worked, if it had proven to me that the problem was with Finn but sleeping with Puck was even worse. I didn't enjoy one minute of it. Everything just felt wrong, empty and I realized why, which only made me hate Rachel even more and be even crueler to her than usual, trying to prove myself wrong. Then, Beth came along, and daddy kicked me out, and even when I lost everything, I still couldn't allow myself to go there because I was hoping he would reconsider his decision and ask me to come home. It wasn't until I was with Mercedes' family, and I overheard a conversation of her parents that I realized that even though I made a mistake, I wasn't the bad guy. He was. Yes, I shouldn't have gotten pregnant at sixteen with my boyfriend's best friend's baby, but he shouldn't have kicked me out."

Judy wiped a tear that fell on her face as she thought back to that night. "We should have done better. I should have done better for you, but I also thought it was better for you to be away from the house." This time, she couldn't help but look down at her hands, "Your father was a volatile man, Quinnie. He scared me, but not because of what he would do to me, but what he could have done to you. When he kicked you out, a part of me was glad because that meant you would be far away from him. God knows what he would have made you do if you had stayed. I just kept telling myself that you had friends that would be there for you while I found a way to see him out of both our lives. So, I made him think that everything was okay, but got a private investigator to follow him since I knew he had been cheating on me for a while, not that I cared but I was just what I need to file for a divorce and get what I deserved for putting up with him for so long. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to be able to do it, I wish I had been quicker to get rid of him for both of us."

Quinn turned to look at her as if seeing her mother's side of the story for the first time, whispering, "You were trying to protect me."

"I tried to, but I didn't do a good enough job and it was later than it should have been, but I tried, Quinnie. Nothing ever mattered more to me than you and your sister. Your father stopped being the man I thought I loved a long time ago," Judy said getting choked up.

The younger blonde wasted no time before moving to hug the woman, "You did what you could Mom. It's okay. We got out."

They stayed like that for a while, just drawing comfort from each other, both going through their set of memories tied to the man that had made both their lives miserable for almost the same reasons. However, neither wanted to waste more time dwelling on that, because it was not going to help them and they needed to leave Russell Fabray in the past where he could no longer be a problem for them; therefore, they pulled back so they could continue their conversation, which was much more important, with Quinn picking up exactly where she left off.

"Well, getting kicked out was when I realized that he was not the man I thought he was and especially after having my daughter, I knew he was somebody I didn't want back in my life, but even then, I couldn't let go of my old ways because who was Quinn without being Head Cheerio, and a bitch. I used to think that she was someone who was weak and the thought of being that was like I was proving him right with what he thought about me, and I didn't want that. I wanted him to see that I didn't need him to be the best. So, I set my sights on the new quarterback, Sam, who is a really good guy and a great friend, betrayed Santana to get my spot as Captain again and became everything I came to despise once again. But I still wasn't happy, I still didn't feel what I thought I should when I was with Sam and I still felt what I thought I shouldn't when I saw Rachel, only now it was even worse because I had to watch her be with Finn, only making me even more of a bitch to her and to everyone else, because I was way too jealous to function."

Judy nodded her head, before she frowned in curiosity about something, "But sweetheart, if you didn't like Finn the first time you dated him and you already knew that the problem was the boy part of the equation, why did you get back together with him? Why not just be single?"

Quinn cringed in embarrassment and shame before she answered honestly, "Because at least, if he was with me, it meant he wasn't with Rachel and tolerating him was better than seeing her with him."

Her mother smiled in understanding, "I see. And now, that you are not with either boy and you have decided to accept yourself as you are, which I'm very happy that you have done so and told me about it, what do you plan to do to win Rachel?"

That was the whole reason for her somber mood.

"I was going to tell her about my feelings and for a moment, I forgot that ever since I have known her, she had always been in love with Finn. He was always her perfect lead man, and I don't actually have a chance. Even if that wasn't the truth, with everything I did to her, I don't even know how she still looks at me with forgiveness in her eyes. I have done nothing to deserve it." Quinn wiped away a tear that fell down her face, "Either way, tomorrow, we are going to perform a song I wrote today about my feelings about her."

"Oh sweetheart, it seems like Rachel has learned to see that you are so much more than who you pretended to be, and she understand that underneath all those years of influence from your dad, there is a girl with a golden heart asking to come out, no pun intended," Judy said, with a smile on her face.

Quinn chuckled at the last bit, "Very funny, Mom."

Judy shrugged, "I thought it was quite smart, thank you sweetie. Anyways, as I was saying, I think that even if you don't believe that you stand a chance, you will feel much better if you start this new chapter in your life getting rid of all these secrets you have been holding it in for so long. Even if she doesn't feel the same, tell her the truth. Who knows? Maybe she doesn't think that you could be anything but straight, therefore never thought she might have a chance with you. Life is full of surprises, isn't it baby?"

Quinn seemed to think about her mother's words as they resonated with her for the rest of the night, even when the topic veered away from her confessions, and they began to discuss what they could do to improve both of their lives to be the happiest they can be. Plans were made for both of them to get into therapy to work on all the stress and trauma they experienced in Russell's hands. Quinn made a note to reach out to her sister. Frannie didn't stay in contact much with the family once she moved to New York to attend to Columbia for her medical degree. But Quinn had to admit she never reached out to the older girl either and that it was time to try and mend the relationships she didn't want to lose.

Mother and daughter also decided to take the summer to take away any and every reminder of Russell Fabray from the house and make it their own. Judy also encouraged Quinn to have her friends form glee club come a few weekends to enjoy the pool, even going as far as planning to have one of those weekends include the parents as well, so they could get to know each other better and form tighter bonds, just like their kids. Besides, Judy said that she wanted to thank Mercedes' parents especially for taking such good care of her daughter when she needed it the most. She would also like the chance to reconnect with LeRoy and his husband to get more acquainted with the LGBT community so she could know how to best support her daughter and others like her, who didn't have support from people who were supposed to be there for them no matter what.

The younger blonde was so proud of her mother and was so excited for this new chapter of their lives that she didn't mind going to sleep late as their conversation carried on through the night, until they went to bed with her resting her head on her mother's chest, snuggled into her side in a way they both had wanted to do many times in the past, but Russell stopped it form happening, saying that Quinn didn't need it.

The night, or what was left of it, was calm and the most relaxed the blonde felt in a while, so even when her alarm clock went off at six in the morning, she didn't grumble, because not only today was the day she could begin to be the person she wanted to be, but she would get to go on stage with her friends and compete for the trophy of show choir champions. So, after freshening up, brushing her teeth, and combing her hair, Quinn woke up her mom to let her know that she would be going to train and that she would see her in a few hours. Getting a positive reaction from the slumbering woman, which brought a smile to her face, she changed her clothes into practice appropriate ones and left the room, taking the spare key with her and made her way to the practice.

Checking her watch to see she was right on time, Quinn opened the door to be faced with the sleepy faces of all the boys and some of the girls. And even though she didn't sleep for long, she had rested, so she quickly said good morning to everyone before walking up to Santana and Brittany and sitting down beside them, locking eyes with Rachel who had been watching her since she entered the room, but she didn't want to talk to the girl right now. Despite knowing her mother had been right, right now, knowing she had been on a date with Finn the night before and was likely back together with him still hurt, so she turned to her best friend who was also watching her, studying her more likely.

"What, S? Do I have something on my face?" Quinn asked her, curiously.

"Yeah, actually. It's called happiness. What the hell, Q? What happened to get you looking like the cat that ate the canary?" Santana whispered to her.

"Quinn discovered she is a rainbow unicorn, like you San, right Quinn?" Brittany supplied the answer as if it was the most obvious things and if by Santana's goldfish expression, the slightly smaller blonde would judge that somehow Brittany nailed it, so she nodded.

"It seems I am, indeed, B."

That seem to have broken Santana because next thing she knew, very fast and very loud Spanish was being yelled by the Latina and although Quinn didn't understand all of it, she seemed to get the gist and just shrugged her shoulders. It was the truth.

"Oh no, you bitch! You can't just drop this bomb like that on me. Nuh uh! No, this is the Twilight Zone and I'm dreaming, having a nightmare, whatever!"

Quinn chuckled. She looked around and saw that everyone's attention was on them and since she didn't want to draw attention away from what they needed to focus on which was Nationals and practicing, she just whispered in Santana's ear that they would talk alter and she would tell the brunette everything she wanted to know, but that right now was not the time for that, so she better suck it up for the group. Another round of Spanish was thrown her way, but she got the girl to agree to an interrogation after they got back to Ohio.

"Damn, Quinn. What the hell did you do to our dear Satan?" Mercedes asked her, bringing her attention back to the other girls and Kurt.

"I think you broke her, and I didn't know that was even possible," Kurt agreed with his friend.

"What can I say? I strive to do the impossible," was all the blonde said with a smirk on her face. "But don't worry, soon enough, she will be back to herself, so you better enjoy the next few minutes of peace and quiet from her. I'm afraid even I can't keep her tamed like this for too long."

"Then, perhaps, this would be the time to remind everyone that we need to train one more time since apparently Mr. Schuester had found the last song we were looking for to close our set and we still need to practice the choreography for Light Up the World," Rachel spoke out loud for the first time and Quinn no longer tried to squish down the butterflies that erupted in her belly hearing the girl's voice after everything she had admitted to herself since yesterday.

It was in that moment that Mr. Schue interrupted them, calling their attention towards him. "Rachel is right, so we better get started."

"So which song is this, Mr. Schue? Did you write it?" Puck asked the older man.

He smiled before shaking her head, "No, I said you guys would be the ones to write it and I meant it. This song was written by one of you and it was exactly what we were looking for. I was very impressed by it, not just the depth of the lyrics but also how the whole song put together sound like. It speaks of a true talent that had been hidden for too long, but I'm glad the author decided to let it come out in such a beautiful way."

Quinn blushed from his compliment, but more because she knew what she was thinking about when she wrote it, or rather who.

"And do we get to know who such talent belongs to, or are you going to keep it a mystery?" Rachel asked, curiosity and unbelief clear in her eyes as she looked around the room trying to find the culprit behind such compliments.

"How about we leave the mystery for now and after we win, the author can reveal themselves for us?" he suggested with a smile and everyone agreed as they enjoyed the not knowing, but it became hard to not demand for the person to reveal themselves when they actually heard the song and realized that it was indeed a beautiful, painful and very personal song.

Quinn had to admit, even if it had to be sung by Finn and Rachel, the duet was perfect in their voices, but then, she knew it would be since she wrote it for Rachel, specifically, and had no doubt that the girl would kill the performance. Even if the things she had said to Rachel about what their futures looked like might have been harsh, they were not untrue, at least when it comes to the brunette. She would be getting out of Lima and onto Broadway, and then, the world would be in her hands as it should be. Rachel was meant to be a star, and Quinn couldn't wait for when that day comes, even if she only gets to watch her from the shadows. It will still be worth it, because as she was finding out, Rachel had always been worth it. She was just too stupid to see it.

After they perfected the group song, it was time for them to get ready, Quinn left first telling them that she would get ready and meet them there since she would be going with her mother. Mr. Schue agreed, and she went back to their room, as the others went back to theirs. Luckily for her, her mother was up already, and they ended up a light breakfast, since the blonde was a bit nervous, then she took a shower and got into her dress, letting her mother fix her hair and her make up, giving herself one last check before they walked out of their room and the hotel, catching a cab to the auditorium where the competition was happening.

Getting to the entrance, she said goodbye to her mother to go join the others while Judy wished her good luck with her performance and anything else she might need it. Understanding the hint, Quinn gave her a nod and one last hug before she made her way to New Directions assigned green room. When she got to where they were standing in front of the banner, the blonde came to stand behind Santana.

"Oh! Gee! We made it. We're one of the top 50 show choirs in the nation. Tomorrow only 10 will move on to showcase, where they'll vie for the national championship," explained Rachel, as her voice rose higher the more excited she became, which the blonde thought was cute.

"We've so got this!" Kurt exclaimed in confidence and Quinn couldn't help but nod at him.

Turning to look at them, Mr. Schue began speaking, "Okay. Usually, I'm pretty cautious about getting your hopes up but honestly, guys I think we got a really good shot at winning this thing." Everyone smiled at that, hoping for the same thing. He continued, "All right. Everyone put your hands in the middle."

Doing that and shouting their team's name, the group began to walk towards the auditorium and to their designated seats, where they got settled as the first performer began to take the stage singing this rendition of Usher's Yeah! It was good, but Quinn was still confident they were better. She did notice that midway through their performance Mr. Schue left and although she didn't know what that was about, she decided to take the opportunity to go to the bathroom when it should be pretty empty, and she wouldn't have to cross paths with other people.

She was about finished with her business when she heard someone a few cubicles down from hers throw up or begin to, she was about to get out and ask them if they were okay when she heard Rachel's voice call out.

"Santana?"

Quinn shook her head. Santana never threw up because of her nerves, not even when Coach Sylvester would give the girl a reason to, so it was a definite no on that front. This was somebody else. And she stayed still as she heard the door being opened and someone walking out.

"Shoving your fingers down your throat like the rest of your brainwashed Vocal Adrenaline brothers and sisters?" Rachel said with a sarcasm and irony tone.

"I'm not throwing up on purpose. I'm so nervous, I can't keep any food down. I used to love singing. It was the only thing that relaxed me. Now I hate it."

At first Quinn hadn't been sure who the voice belonged to, but she realized that there was only one person in Vocal Adrenaline Rachel would stop to talk to and that was Sunshine Corazon, the girl she had sent to an abandoned crack house.

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" Rachel scoffed at the girl.

"No," Sunshine answered quickly. "I think you're kind of mean, but I don't think you're stupid."

"I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to get me to feel bad for you so that I don't try as hard to crush you on the stage," was Rachel's response.

It did make sense for Rachel to think that, but there was something about the girl that told Quinn she was not like that. She was real, and her response only proved the blonde she had been right.

"What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much? When I came to your school, I heard that the Glee Club was where kids went when no one else would take them- a safe place. For some reason, you made me the only one who wasn't safe there."

Jealousy. That was the reason, and trust Quinn she would know all about it.

Sunshine seemed to be leaving when Rachel called out, "Where are you going?"

"To the Philippine embassy. I'm going to beg them to revoke my visa and deport me back home. That's the only way I'm gonna be able to escape Vocal Adrenaline."

Stop her, Rach. Don't be like me. Fix this. Quinn thought to herself as she listened to the conversation between the two power houses and where it was going. Thankfully, Rachel didn't disappoint her.

"Wait- Wait. It's because you're good." Called it, Quinn thought. "That's why I hated you. That's why I sent you to that crack house. I'm sorry. But you have to go out there and sing. You have a gift. Something that Dustin Goolsby would kill for," Rachel encouraged the girl.

"I can't. I'm gonna barf all over the stage," replied Sunshine.

"If you feel like you're gonna throw up, just look at me and I'll help you through it."

Quinn imagined the confusion on the girl's face as she asked, "Why? Don't you want to win?"

She smiled as she heard Rachel's answer, "Guys like us have to stick together. I'm gonna hug you now." Not long after, they seemed to pull back. "Go, take a few deep breaths and just enjoy singing. I'll catch up with you in a bit."

"Thank you," Sunshine told her before Quinn heard her steps fade away, leaving only the two of them together.

So, gathering up all her courage, she opened the stall. "That was nice of you."

The brunette jumped in fright as she turned around to face her, "Quinn! I- You—" Finally seeming to realize what had happened, Rachel calmed down and asked her, "You were there the whole time? You heard?"

Nodding the blonde joined her by the sink, washing her hands, "I was there before you came in and it didn't seem right to interrupt. But if it's any consolation, I thought you did good. The apology and all. Better than I ever managed with you and we both know nothing you did to that girl was worse than the things I did to you, so, you should be proud of how you handled that."

Rachel didn't seem to know how to handle what she said, which Quinn found adorable, until the brunette spoke, "Can I ask you something and you promise that you won't bite my head off?"

"Promise. Go ahead."

"Do you regret the things you did to me?" Wow. "Because I don't think I did, truly, until just now when I understood the damage I caused her."

"You don't beat around the bush, do you Berry?" Quinn chuckled dryly as she turned to face the brunette who was about to say something, but Quinn interrupted her before she could and answered, "I never enjoyed doing those things and hurting you the way I did, Rachel. But back then, it was the only thing I could think of doing to survive. You were the one thing that could destroy me, destroy everything I tried to build, so I just thought if I destroyed you first, it wouldn't happen. I would be okay. But it happened and I wasn't. I'm still not. But I do regret it, I wish I could take it all back and done things differently, but I can't. I don't think I can even apologize enough to make up for it. But I do want you to know I'm sorry and that you were never the problem, I was."

Rachel seemed to frown as she tried to understand her words. "I don't get it. I mean, I was thought that you were taking out your anger on me, but I don't understand why was I the one that could destroy you? I wasn't any competition to you in any way. Not even Finn. He only really noticed me after he joined glee, but you seemed to hate me long before that. So why me, Quinn? What did I have that could have destroyed you?"

Feeling tears well up on her eyes and remembering her mother's words, Quinn decided it was now the time to lay all the cards on the table.

"Because all it took was hearing you sing on the first day of freshman year for me to know, even if I never admitted to myself, that no boy could make me feel the way you do," she softly spoke those words and saw the moment they seemed to register.

"But Finn and you—"

"It was what was expected of me. To be the head cheerleader and date the quarterback, and I would have done anything not to be less than perfect."

"But you always made it clear that you didn't want to lose him to me, was just because of popularity? I don't understand."

Taking a step closer and looking straight into her eyes, noticing the sharp intake of breath the other girl took with her proximity, Quinn answered, "I wasn't jealous of you, I was jealous of him. Because despite everything, despite knowing what it could cost me, I always wanted you to look at me the way you look at him. I always wanted you to be as affected by me as I was, am by you. But you never did. Instead, I had to see him live the life I wanted. I saw him have both, being popular and in love with the theater geek. Do you know that the only way I used to be able to stop myself from kissing you in front of everybody was to say the most horrible in hopes that you would leave before I went through with it?"

Taking another step forward, leaving almost no space at all between them, with their eyes locked on each other, Quinn hesitantly reached out her hand to caress Rachel's cheek, "You want to know the truth, Rachel? I love you." Quinn ignored the gasp to carry on, "If it has always been Finn for you, it has always been you for me. I wish I could have realized that it was okay to just be in love with the theater geek, that you were worth more than any popularity, or prom queen title, or any approval from my bastard of a father. I'm so sorry for everything I ever did to you, Rachel, but not this."

Without wasting another second, Quinn leaned forward and connect their lips. She could feel the surprise irradiating from Rachel's body; now, she wasn't planning on going further than this, she just needed to know what it felt like to kiss the girl she was in love with and nothing she could have imagined would have been better than reality.

She could almost laugh at herself for ever thinking that she could have felt this with Finn, or Puck, or Sam, any boy for that matter. No way was she straight. Everything about Rachel was enticing to her; her height and the fact she was shorter than Quinn, her softness, her perfume, everything.

But she knew she had no right to keep kissing the girl, especially since Rachel didn't have any romantic feelings for her, so finding the strength necessary within her, Quinn pulled back slowly, savoring every last moment of contact since she knew it would never happen again. Her breath was short, as she panted from the impact the kiss had on her. She would be surprised if Rachel couldn't feel the way her heart was almost beating out of her chest, but Quinn just connected their foreheads before finally pulling back to look at those beautiful brown eyes and she made one final confession to the girl in front of her.

"You would never have destroyed me. You would have just made me stop pretending."

"What?" Rachel seemed to understand that her statement had something important in it, but she wasn't figuring it out, so Quinn spelled out for her.

Or better yet, sang it to her, "Will we ever have a happy ending, or will we forever only be pretending?"

The moment she did so, Rachel understood as she whispered in shock, "You wrote the song."

Nodding her head, Quinn gave her a watery smile, "I did."

"For me?" Rachel seemed scared to assume such a thing.

"Yes. I wrote it for and about you, about this dream I had where I could be someone worthy of being with you, someone you could want to be with, but don't worry, it was just a dream, and I'm awake. I just figured since you are about to sing my deepest feelings on the stage, you should know about them first, especially since they are about you."

Both girls stayed like that just staring at each other like that before Quinn could resist anymore and connect their foreheads as she let tears fall freely on her face, thanking her mother for choosing waterproof make up. As much as it pained her, this moment was not about getting Rachel, it was about letting her go, about not holding her hostage to Quinn's feelings for her. Her happiness was with Finn, and it was time the blonde accepted that. She could feel Rachel wanting to say something, but she just shook her head, asking her not to. She didn't want the girl to say anything.

It wasn't too long after that they heard a voice announce it was time for Vocal Adrenaline to come on stage, so reluctantly, Quinn pulled back and took few steps away from Rachel before giving her an encouraging smile.

"You should go. You promised Sunshine to be there to stop her form throwing up on stage, you can't leave her hanging."

"Quinn—" Rachel tried to say, but the blonde shook her head.

"Please, Rachel. I need to let you go, more than that, I need you to let me let you go. So, go back there and help that girl, she deserves it. I'll be ok."

Turning away to face the mirror so she wouldn't actually have to watch Rachel leave her for good, Quinn started to fix the mess that was on her face. It took Rachel a while before she realized Quinn was serious and she turned around and walked away, only stopping at the door to look at the blonde one more time before disappearing from her view. Only then, did Quinn reached to grip the sink and let out a sob, as she finally allowed her heart to break into pieces.

She didn't hear when they came in, but all she felt was two pairs of arms wrap around her the same way they did the day before during her previous breakdown. She just turned her head and buried in Santana's neck as she sobbed her heart out, with Brittany rubbing her back soothingly. In five minutes, she would get herself back together, let her friends help her fix her make up, and go back there and get through this next bit of torture; she will go out there and sing her heart out and have fun with the glee club and maybe even win this thing, but for right now, she would allow herself to stop pretending.