Note: This chapter requires slight suspension of disbelief. It's pretty fantastic that Padmé could do what she does in this, but... it is how I originally wrote the outline like a year or so ago and I'm sticking to it to honor it. Hope you enjoy!

OOO

We didn't talk as the Imperial shuttle lifted off from the mossy moon's landing pad. Sure, we couldn't risk discovery, hiding as we were behind a few crates in the back. But this stultifying silence between us ran deeper. For what did either of us have to say to the other?

We would make it onto the Death Star II, or we wouldn't.

We would rescue Mother and Tai-Lin, or we wouldn't.

We would live, or we wouldn't.

The rebellion would die today, or it wouldn't.

At least I knew with certainty that our relationship would never repair. Too many things had remained unsaid. Too many regrets stole the oxygen from the space. Too many words had been hurled by me when it was far too wounding. What remained to say, except, once we got into the hangar bay and prepared to sneak off the ship… "May the Force be with you"?

Nothing.

Which was why I'd partly lied to my father about one particular detail of this plan. Or two. Because he may or may not believe that I had a bit of Jedi training. Well. It didn't matter.

We would succeed, or we wouldn't.

OOO

The security for the Throne Room proved extremely poor. Either the Emperor needed to up his game big time, or he wanted people to come. Probably the latter, if he was anything like his cat-and-mouse playing grandson.

But I knew Mother was here, and Tai-Lin, and so I also knew it was where I must go—regardless of the possible consequences. Don't ask me how I knew. I just did. Finally, I was beginning to let the Force in in its fullness—as much as I understood how, anyway—and the tug of my gut vowed that my mother stood prisoner in this room. This room turned out to be a large, dark space that somehow no one noticed me sneaking up the back stairs to.

Or they did, and I was trapped.

But I didn't think so. The collection of beings standing around seemed pretty focused on the scene unfolding between them. Focused on the battle now blossoming outside.

The fleet Holdo had without authorization put together had come, and it seemed a bloodbath. Fireballs bloomed before the vast view screen. Green and red laser shots sparkled in the night of space like so many deadly fireworks. The scream of TIE fighters penetrated even the thick duraplast viewscreen. And the Emperor's chilling voice came in time with the continuous click and hiss of Its respirator.

My hands began to shake.

"And now, as we extinguish the rebellion… so we extinguish its guiding light. Lord Vader—kill her."

I saw my mother pulled from the shadows of the room, and made to kneel before the Emperor. My insides clenched like a fist at how battered she looked, stealing all breath from me. I didn't want to know how she'd gotten that way, though I already did… And suddenly I realized Tai-Lin no longer stood with her…

Now was my moment! For It had said, "Yes, my master," and begun to move toward Mother, whose eyes remained defiant even now—

"Wait!" It… wasn't me. It was the prince. He now turned around from where he'd been standing at the right hand of the throne, his face half in shadow and half in light. "You said you weren't going to kill her yet."

"That was yesterday, after we disposed of Garr so… unpleasantly."

I didn't want to know. I didn't want to know. I wanted to clamp my hands over my ears and never know—

But I couldn't do that. Leia said, "You bastard."

And when the Emperor's gnarled hand struck her in a slap, she refused to make a sound of pain. "Do it!" he ordered Vader. But the prince was still insistent that she shouldn't die, not until he had me—had me—?

"Quiet, boy!" And suddenly a frozen look appeared on the prince's face. But then his gaze swiped to the exact spot in the shadows in which I stood, ready, poised—

I hurled the detonator with all the force I had. It turned out to be a lot, for all I felt heady with terror and shock. I clamped my hands over my ears, squeezing my eyes shut—

The wave hit me harder than anything physical. Harder than a punch by a Rancor. The sight left me. The sound left me. Feeling briefly abandoned me.

But I couldn't lie here. I must get up! With what felt superhuman effort, I managed to scramble to my feet, reminding myself my enemies were just as currently incapacitated as I, very likely more so. But it wouldn't last—for any of us.

Fumblingly, I made my way over to where my mother lay, prone, bleeding from her ears. I sincerely hoped no damage would be permanent. Besides the mental scars, anyway… Then it was numbness, numbness in picking her up into my arms, stepping over It, thinking—if I just had one more moment

But then ocean eyes, somewhat blurry, flashed to mine. A world of anger and something else shone in them. I couldn't determine it, but felt it echo within my own self…

I stumble-ran from the room with my mother clutched to my chest like a stuffed prize. Slowly senses began to return. I heard noise behind me. Commotion. A chase—

Then, suddenly, a flash of green the color of life. Luke ordered crisply, "Give her to me."

"What?"

"Give her to me!"

"No," I said instinctively, confused, bewildered, holding her closer to my chest. Why wasn't he on Endor? He was supposed to have the shield down with the team. Why wasn't it down…? Because I saw more ships dying outside even now… What was going on?

Luke yanked Leia from my arms, then pelted off at all speed. He was saying something to me—oh, right. Run. Run!

And I wasn't sure where Dad was, but my uncle was right. Run! I must run. I ran blindly, the corridors which had once seemed so clear before now a twisted maze of glossy dark tunnels and endless danger… I'd never get out of here. I'd never, never… And I didn't feel the Force any longer, for I was too afraid. Hadn't Luke said something to that effect once? That fear blocked it out?

And then… "Dove…" His voice, in its sibilant whisper, seemed to come from everywhere all at once. I couldn't tell from what direction he might actually be heading. "Where are you?"

I hid myself behind one of the masses of supplies. Here, where I'd run, construction was still very much ongoing. Tarp lay across half the walls, and divided part of the space. The space into which, suddenly, the prince strode.

His purple cowl was up. He seemed to float, rather than walk, as though he was the shadow made manifest: an ethereal ghost come to haunt me. And in his right hand he held a wicked, double-bladed laser sword, which crackled and spat like flames. Its didn't look like that, or Luke's. Look so… untamed.
Feral.

It seemed the perfect encapsulation of the boy holding it.

He didn't need to lower the hood to show his smile. I saw it. I felt it, like I felt death in the air with us. Death… and destiny.

"I know you're in here," he said simply, voice no longer echoing. "That was very brave and inventive of you—but also very reckless. Though that does seem to encapsulate you…"

I stayed silent. If I spoke, then surely he could pinpoint my location. I tried to breathe soundlessly.
"Of course, you must have overheard enough to get the picture," he continued ruthlessly, ducking behind one of the stacks of supplies, then weaving back out again. His chocolatey chuckle, so very soft and silken, made me feel faint with fear. There was something far more threatening about someone who seemed to be playing a game rather than acting the champion in a deadly tournament. If he'd said the usual villainous stuff, I thought I might have felt… well… safer, in a way.

But no.

"Garr died yesterday. Unfortunately, neither he nor your mother were feeling very cooperative. Since we learned that she was the superior in the duo, we decided to… let's call it motivate her a bit with his demise. I didn't think it would work. But you know how it is to be subject to our regent's desires. Would you like to hear how he died? It was… terribly painful, to tell the truth. He was a brave man. I admired him, in the end, for all his convoluted ideals."

He was coming closer now. It wouldn't be long before he got me simply by process of elimination. I tried, desperately, to recall anything Luke had said about the Force, or Jedi training, or how to use this lightsaber I'd stolen from him… And came up empty. I was so afraid, I couldn't think of anything except the fact that I suddenly realized I didn't want to die like Tai-Lin had, or like the people in the battle out there were. There were things left I wanted to do, like make up with Mother, try to repair my relationship with Dad, see Ellis and Adalyse quarrel and then make up, hold more baby snow owls, rule my planet the way I thought it should be ruled, rather than sticking to tradition and bowing to the Empire, see the dawn of freedom in the galaxy, show people that pulmonodes didn't mean a half-life—they just meant a different kind of full life…

I didn't want to die. It was a revelation. A shock. But one I inherently realized was quite true. For so long I'd been so reckless, willing to lay down my life and risk it at the drop of a hat, all for the Alliance and for the name of revenge against the Empire. But… no longer was I so willing.

And it was far too late to come to this conclusion, because now I would die, because I had been reckless. Yet I couldn't regret it. Mother might live because of it. And she was worth ten of me.

And in that moment, I realized it was time to stop running. Stop running from everything. Stop pretending that I was fine when I wasn't. Stop saying that my mind was entirely okay when the XTO had damaged it forever. Stop trying to be fitter, and stronger, and faster than everyone else to prove that just because I had pulmonodes which strained my body didn't mean I was weak at all.

And above all, I needed to stop running from that which scared me. I must face it. The dark's very power came from making me afraid of it. Without that power over me… I might well possess power over it.

I strode out from my hiding place, and with hands no longer numb ignited the laser sword. Dazzling sky-blue plasma bloomed from my hand, throwing the room into bluish light that blended with the red. The prince whipped around.

"Alright," I said. "Let's go, then, Ray."

OOO

A/N: What do you think will happen in the duel? How did you feel about this chapter? What about Padmé's character development?

Finally, what will happen in the battle of Endor?

Thanks for reading & commenting. I really appreciate it.

- Hope