Shinji barely dodged the laundry basket hurled at him. Without a moment's break, Asuka slammed him into the living room wall.
"Again! You fucked up again!" Asuka thrust damp socks onto Shinji's face.
"Wh—what?"
"Does autism prevent you from feeling?! The socks are still wet again, idiot!" Shinji barely got out the first syllable of an apology when Asuka used her forearm to cutoff his ability to breathe.
"Hell no! You're a liar, you said last time you wouldn't do this again. You gave a pathetic tearful apology, and here we are again." Shinji began to struggle for air so Asuka relived the pressure slightly so that he could breathe again, but he was still unable to speak. A long second passed before a look of pure hatred overcame Asuka, and she drove a fist into Shinji's stomach. He doubled over but was afforded no time to recover as Asuka grabbed his hair and slammed his head back against the wall.
He was still battling to regain his breath when Asuka started to hit him in the chest and arms. He made a few futile attempts to block which did little to prevent Asuka's quick and precise strikes from landing. After several solid blows, Asuka tripped him to the ground and placed a knee on his stomach causing him to wince in pain.
"Don't fuck this up again!" Asuka said as she hopped up and went straight to her room slamming the sliding door. After several minutes on the floor, Shinji got up and gathered Asuka's scattered clothes.
Misato paused the video before bending over and grabbing her face as she began to cry.
"This is the first time you've seen the video?" Dr. Hannible Lecter asked. Misato nodded in reply.
"Just like you asked," she whispered.
Lecter remained silent. "I-I didn't know it was that bad. She…acted like a monster and this… this's just the first video. Misato continued to sob. Does she really hate him? She asked herself.
"There was nothing monstrous about that assault. Everything she did was precisely calculated. Shinji was wearing a long sleeve shirt when you retuned home wasn't he?"
"I…think so." Misato replied while standing upright again, tears still streaming down her cheeks. It was time to ask herself the questions she had been avoiding. What's she working at? Does she want something? I must be missing something. Maybe I'm just not good at this.
"It's time for you to set an example." Lecter said while motioning towards his couch.
"Yeah sorry, I'm not usually such a mess."
"It's quite all right." Misato took a seat on the couch across from the doctor.
"Could you understand all of that? Every word?" She asked.
"Every word. Language is one of the fundamental pathways to perception. Something critical to my profession." Lecter responded.
"She's not usually—always like that. I've seen another side of her, she can be nice. She's just been through a lot." Lecter remained silent; Misato resumed speaking. "I think she can become a great leader, she's super smart and driven. She just has to overcome her past. You won't believe what she's been though. She'll be a great leader—"
"Are you referring to Asuka?" Lecter asked. Misato gave him a puzzled look.
"Of course, doctor."
"I see."
"Do…you want me to tell you about her past?"
"I prefer to hear it from her."
"That may be difficult."
"Thanks for the warning." Lecter said with a small smile. "Right now, I'll hear of your past."
"Oh yeah, I um—was it wrong for me to show you that video? I didn't tell them I set-up cameras."
"Your intentions were pure. We mustn't concern ourselves with outcomes. They're often outside of our control. Now, who gave you that cross?" After Lecter's question Misato spilled the guts on her entire life. There were painful moments, but she felt more relieved and freer with every word she spoke. She did not hold anything back aside from secrets others had entrusted to her alone. Those would always be off limits. Lecter said little as she talked save for the occasional nod or "I see."
"I…I sold out to what I thought was right. I did my job...and I failed my kids. I wish I'd thought of myself as more of a mom back then. I was their friend sometimes and boss another, when—what they really needed...was a parent who loved them." Misato tried desperately to stop crying again. Aside from hearing of Kaji's death, she had never cried so much at once.
"You considered yourself tethered to a path set forth by a ghost of your imagination. Moving forward you'll have to learn to bear the burden of agency. Sometimes though, that might be more difficult than the perceived wishes of your father."
"I want to…I need to be there for my kids. How can I stay strong? How can they ever forgive me?"
"In order to be forgiven, you must demonstrate forgiveness. You read condemnation in their eyes when there is none. A stay of execution is useless to a man already injecting himself with poison. As far as staying strong, that's simply a matter of motivation."
Asuka clicked the tv off. There was nothing good to watch. She then voiced a meritless call for Shinji. He must be listening to that stupid music player! As boring as he is, she had no other source of company so he would have to do. She made her way to his room then stood leaning on the door frame, hand on her hip. "I'm starving, let's go get some food."
"I think the hotel has food."
"I don't wanna eat that crap. Besides, Misato left us some American money." There was a look of uncertainty on his face. She tried not to be frustrated with something that was well deserved. I'll be frustrated anyway! "I promise, I won't do anything too bad because you can't speak English." There was no change in his expression.
"Listen, if you wanna sit here and mope around all day be my guest, but don't complain when all you get to eat is some cereal."
"Fine! But—umm—you have to be honest when translating words," he said. We'll see, she thought.
"Sure, sure. Now c'mon!"
They went a few blocks away to a park area with several portable vendors hard at work in anticipation of the afternoon rush. Shinji stayed close by her and for a moment she almost felt bad for him until she remembered how many times, she had told him to learn English. At least his dependency was not quite as infuriating as it usually is, not yet at least.
After she finished explaining the different choices in the area, Shinji could not make up his mind, so she picked a hotdog stand. After they got their food (only beating the rush by a few minutes) they found a quiet spot by some rocks to eat.
"It's not bad, but it's really greasy," Shinji offered after only a couple bites. There were moments when her ever-present disdain for him felt more a product of inertia than any recurring feeling.
"That's kind of a theme with the food here in the states. The more grease and the cheaper the better. Look how many people around here are fat slobs. I'm surprised they live longer than forty-five here."
"It's hard not to notice." Shinji said in a much more polite tone. Asuka normally ate healthy, so she welcomed the objectively nasty food as a change of pace.
"Have you thought about what you're gonna do in the future, Third?" Asuka asked in a more contemplative tone than she intended.
"Umm...no I haven't."
"Well you better start soon cause college is coming up."
"Yeah, I guess I'll go to college. I'm not sure what I'll study."
"I'm not exactly sure either, of course, I'll be in a master's program so it's not as easy as just picking a major like undergrad," Asuka said.
"I hope I can get in. I haven't always been the best student...until Miss Misato said I better start working harder." Of course, he'd listen to her.
"Well, you haven't been pestering me for help with homework as much lately. That's a trend that better continue in college cause I'll have my own classes."
"Oh yeah I'll do my own work, and I'll only ask you for help if I need—" she narrowed her gaze. "If I really need it," he finished.
"Better. Now get your applications done when we get back from this...whatever it is, and we'll send them in at the same time." Shinji put his food down as disappointment inundated his countenance.
"You're going for the best schools, aren't you?" he asked.
"Nothing but the best!" Asuka replied.
"I'm not really sure I'll get into those."
"Quit worrying, Misato will threaten the administration for her precious Shinji." She did not allow him anytime to respond. "You done?" She asked, pointing to the last couple bites of his food.
"Sure, I wish we had a longer walk back to digest."
"Trust me there's a good chance you'll be glad we're close to the hotel. This stuff can go though you." It had taken her a long time to be comfortable being this casual with him again. The old anger was never far away and if any began to simmer, she was quick to try and repress the feelings. Don't do this to yourself, Asuka!
"Should we get dessert?" She asked. The look on his face said it all. "We'll just head back then." As they got up, she noticed a colorful bruise barely visible under his sleeve. No doubt her handy work. He…mostly deserves it. Mostly. Did she still believe that? What choice did she have? He had done everything he could to make up for his past mistakes, but those attempts never seemed to be enough for her. A small, but growing, part of her hoped therapy might yield some answers. Not that she needed any help.
