Chapter Summary: The whole Stabler Clan sees Elliot and Olivia asleep on Christmas morning.

Author's Notes: I know I said it was complete, but two more moments came to me. There will be one more (very short) chapter after this. I hope you enjoy!

/

Olivia is doubting herself the entire drive. Rationally she knows that she is wanted, that Noah is wanted. But in her mind, where her deepest insecurities lie, her fears keep running through her mind: she's overstepping boundaries; they were just being polite with the invite, but really begging she'd turn down the offer; they are all hoping she will cancel at the last minute because of work; they don't like her; they are angry that she and their dad are dating.

She's talked these fears through, at length, with her therapist and with Elliot. She knows that it's irrational, that her apprehension is not warranted.

Her and Elliot have been together almost a year now. She's attended ball games, birthday parties, and family cookouts. She has babysat the twins and Maureen and Kathleen have watched Noah more times than she can count. Her and Noah have spent entire weekends at Elliot's place. Hell, they've been trying to work out the logistics of moving in together in the New Year. She knows that she's a part of the family, a wanted part of the family.

But the 3 hour drive north to the cabin is more than enough time for anxiety to seep in. She thinks back to the night, over a month ago, when Elliot told her about his children's plans.

"Do you and Noah have Christmas traditions?" They are laying in his bed, curled up together, his chest pressing into her back, and his arm around her waist while his fingers softly tangled and traced hers.

"What do you mean? More than the normal…tree, cookies and milk, presents?"

"Yea, is there anything you do that can't be done…say…up north in a cabin with my family?" He tries to ask it quietly, knowing exactly how she will react. He knows that she still has anxieties about their relationship. He wishes that she didn't, but they aren't completely unfounded. As much as she loves his family, and they love her back – so much, it's still hard for her to step in sometimes. But it's getting better every time they are all together.

"What?" she asks as she turns her body to face him, letting his arm return to her hip, his hand resting on her low back.

"The kids decided that we needed new traditions for the holidays and they voted on all staying for three days in a giant cabin for Christmas Eve and Christmas."

"Oh, that sounds nice," she replies as she looks down at his chest, where her fingers were running gently through the dusting of hair covering his warm skin.

"They invited you and Noah," he gently pulls her chin up, so she has to meet his eyes, "Their exact words were 'Dad, we found one with enough room that Liv and Noah can come, make sure you invite them.'"

"El…" she starts.

"You don't have to answer today," he offers, knowing that she needs to think it over, maybe even talk to Lindstrom, "Just think about it. We can talk more in the next couple of days when I have more details."

"Okay."

He places a quick peck on her lips, and pulls her in tight to his body, letting her snuggle into his chest, and whispers over the top of her head, "I just wanted to let you know the new plans and make sure you know that you and Noah are invited. We all really want you to come."

"I'll think about it, El." she promises, and she did, all night.

Her phone rings just then, Elliot's face showing on the screen. Elliot drove up last night with Eli and Noah to ready the cabin and buy food. The rest of the crew had arrived this morning. She had to finish up a few things at work this morning before she could take the days off, so she was the last one arriving.

She answers, and his voice fills her car.

"Hey Liv, I'm just making sure you are on your way."

"I texted you when I left, I'm about an hour out."

"No work emergencies? Second thoughts?"

"No emergencies, but a few second thoughts."

"Well smash them down, Ma keeps asking when you are getting here. Apparently, Eli and I can't shop or decorate worth a damn."

"You have my son, El. I think you took him as insurance," she accuses in a mocking tone.

"Nah, I wouldn't do such a thing," he replies sarcastically, that's exactly what he did and they both know it. Noah had been dying to spend Christmas with the Stablers and outright begged to go up a day early with Elliot and Eli. Elliot gave her a sad, begging face as well, and she let him go. They both knew that she wouldn't spend Christmas without Noah, so she would have to make the trip.

"I'll be there soon."

"Good. Love ya."

"Love you, too."

Hearing his voice was just what she needed. He's always been able to read her mind and calm her with his words. But more and more, as they deepened their relationship, his presence, tone of voice, smell, his strong arms and chest - his very being was what she needed to be centered. She would have that in an hour when she arrived.

That thought used to scare her: not being stable without someone. But she's learned that is just what love is and it's okay to let someone in, to let someone support you, to let someone be everything you need sometimes.

She sighs and flips on the radio, letting holiday songs fill the car.

Dinner is as rambunctious as always when the whole Stabler clan is together. Everyone eating and chatting, often carrying on conversations halfway down the table, shouting over the noise of plates and glasses clinking. Afterwards, the little kids were running about, high on candy canes and hot chocolate, singing funny versions of traditional Christmas carols.

"Jingle bells, batman smells"

"Robin laid an egg"

"The bat mobile lost its wheel"

"AND THE JOKER GOT AWAY!"

"I can't believe kids still sing that version," muttered Rich into his glass, shaking his head at the kids giggles.

The adults are sitting around the table with spiced cider and mead, joking and telling stories about past Christmases.

Olivia knew that this comes with the territory, it's happened before - usually at birthday parties. Having to listen to stories of the past, a past she wasn't a part of, a past that involved Kathy and the children's magical childhoods. She tried not to cringe externally. She didn't want the kids to stop talking, she knew this time was important to them. And it was only the second Christmas without their mother, they needed to reminisce together. But Elliot is there next to her on the couch, arm around her and he squeezes her shoulder, then leaning on to kiss her cheek. She knows, deep down, that no one is begrudging her presence, so she sits and smiles and laughs at the funny bits in their tales.

"Liv! What about you?" She's pulled from her thoughts by Liz, who asked the question.

"What?"

It's Kathleen who clarifies, "You have to have some great stories about little toddler-Noah!"

"Oh, I don't…"

"Come on! You have to…" prompts Maureen, she'd already shared a few anecdotes from the twin's first couple of Christmases.

"Well, there was that one time I made the mistake of putting presents from others - not Santa - under the tree a couple days before Christmas. I wanted to have the look, you know the tree, lights, presents. But 3-year-old Noah, who doesn't know his dates, woke up before me on the day before Christmas Eve and opened them all. We had two Christmas mornings that year."

They all laughed at her story and then go on to discuss the one time that the twins had ever-increasing dares, with interesting results.

Olivia excuses herself to the kitchen to refill her mug, and Elliot follows.

"I know this is hard for you Liv," he walks up behind her at the counter and wraps his arms around her, placing his chin on her shoulder.

"It is…" she admits, but continues after a breath, "and it't not. It's just part of the process. I don't want them to stop remembering and sharing on my account. It's important to them. And even if it is hard, it's actually nice to hear some of these stories." She turns in his arms, bringing hers to lock around his low back, resting her cheek on his chest, rubbing it a little on the soft fabric of his worn holiday sweater - his had reindeers.

"It will get better. And we all are so happy that you are here. Kathleen and Maureen were talking non-stop all morning about your upcoming spa weekend. And Noah and the twins get along so well."

"I know," she sighs. Then, after a few minutes, she says with a soft chuckle, "I can't believe Dickie ate all the popcorn off the tree one year."

Elliot smiles, "Young boys will do anything on a dare and his sisters knew it."

—-

The twins and Noah were the first ones to wake the next morning and made the rounds to wake up everyone else. They were sharing a room with Eli and Dickie, all in bunk beds, and woke them up first.

The cabin only had four bedrooms, but enough beds for all 12 of them, if a few shared. Kathleen and Liz were sharing a bed in a room with Bernie, and Maureen and Carl had their own room. Soon everyone was in the hall. It was quite a sight, 6 adults, 1 teen, and 3 kids, crowded in a hall and all in matching snowflake pajamas – Liz's idea.

Before Maureen could stop Noah and the boys, they ran into the room with Elliot and Olivia, and the twins jumped on their bed.

"Grampa!"

"Grampa!"

Noah rushed in too, but stopped next to the bed and shook his mom's shoulder with a loud, "MOM!"

But in the seconds before the boys had bounced on the mattress, the adults saw the couple sleeping. They were cuddled together in the middle of the mattress, on their sides facing the door, Elliot behind Olivia with his arm wrapped tightly around her. Small grins broke out on the adults' faces.

It had been years since the oldest four had seen their father look so peacefully and happily asleep. When they were younger, his work hours were so unpredictable, he was rarely in bed when they woke up or he was sleeping in after a long night and not to be disturbed. The kids knew that their dad was happy. They really missed their mom, especially during the holidays. But enough time had passed, and they had all adored Olivia for years. This new dynamic felt okay and seeing them sleeping felt right.

They'd each caught glimpses of him and Olivia together sharing soft sleepy moments or even a bed throughout the last year, but this was different somehow. They were more relaxed, peaceful; happier and lighter. Maybe it was just the snowflake pajamas that they were wearing.

The sight only lasted a second because their sleeping faces soon turned to shock as the little kids surrounded around them, shouting. "Santa came!" And "Presents!"

Olivia grabbed Noah and pulled him tight to her chest, kissing his cheek, "Merry Christmas sweet boy."

Elliot, despite his grogginess, had managed to wrangle both the twins, one on each side, "Gotcha! The presents are all mine!" he shouted as the boys giggled and tried to break free of his grasp.

A few minutes later they were all sitting around the tree as the boys passed out the presents and stockings. Olivia was tucked in next to Elliot, a steaming mug of coffee in her hands. And as she looked around the room and saw nothing but smiles, she thought to herself, I could do this, I want to do this, every year.