Collaborative Cooperations
Joe felt like being a piece of shit today. Mostly because they had to do a stupid collaborative operation with the FBI. He hated those. They always ended the same way. Blah. Blah. Blah. We're sending letters to the ethics board. Blah. Blah. Blah. Joe stared at the sad sack of an email and sighed heavily. He would need to send someone experienced. At this point, he would also be sending someone that would clash horribly with the stodgy FBI. "Is Alex free?"
Tamara looked at him. Joe gave her his perfectly innocent look. Neither of them was fooled. Tamara bent first. "Yes. You're not going to send him on an assignment with the FBI are you?"
Joe beamed at her. Sometimes Tamara was a little bit too optimistic about his motivations in life. "I am. I think it will be an excellent fit."
The woman stared at him like he'd grown two heads. Joe continued smiling. Look, if you insisted hard enough with a smile most people would eventually just cave on whatever you. Besides, if Alex didn't find a way to cause enough chaos that the FBI never wanted to work with them again, Joe would eat his shoes and start looking for flying pigs. "Just send him in, please."
Tamara was giving him unamused looks as she paged Alex. Joe's door was thrown open about five seconds later. "You called?"
The young man in front of him all but bounced in his chair. Joe almost felt younger just looking at him. Alex's eyes danced with hidden mirth. "I need you to take an assignment. It's going to be a bit more delicate than usual."
Alex looked at him a bit funny. Joe supposed it sounded a bit suspicious. "Joe? Uh, you know how I am in the field."
Joe patted him on the shoulder. Yes, he was great. Explosions nearly every mission, regularly ditched a CO if they were mediocre, and had probably never considered applying the field manual to the field. "I'm sure you'll do wonderfully."
Now he had two people looking at him with stares of disbelief. Joe leaned over and gave his shoulder a slight squeeze. "You've had so much growth in your counseling sessions and I'm very proud of you."
Neither of them seemed remotely reassured. Where were the gullible agents when you needed them? Probably dead, to be honest. If you weren't smart, you tended to die pretty fast in Special Operations. "I didn't attend a single one of them?"
Joe shushed him. Alex seemed to be slowly catching on if his expression was anything to go by. Honestly, Joe liked him the way he was. Deadly, explosive, and, quite frankly, fun to read about. "I'm sure you learned your lesson and I won't be pushing you to talk when you're uncomfortable."
The immediate look of suspicion from both of them was downright hurtful. Wasn't he a nice boss? Alex shifted in his chair. Joe beamed at both of them and continued. "Now, are you going to go over the files?"
Alex took the proffered files. Good man. Joe was going to give him a bonus out of the slush fund. And probably another one if the FBI managed to swear in the resulting internal email. "Joe? It says there's C4 in this?"
Joe patted him on the head. It was like giving candy to a baby. Tamara made a disbelieving noise in the back of her throat. She was patently ignored by both of them. "I'm sure everything will go fine."
Alex's eyes flicked to him. Joe gently patted him on the shoulder. He leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Give 'em hell from me, eh?"
Alex looked up at him gleefully. The brown eyes widened with a childlike wonder. Joe almost felt bad for the FBI. "Yes."
Alex looked so happy that Joe almost felt guilty. Almost. Joe gently ruffled his hair before sending him off with the files and sending out the emails to assign him to this nightmare. Tamara was glaring at him from over his desk. Joe was just going to ignore her. "Taking. Advantage."
Joe grinned at her. Tamara scowled back. "I did no such thing! The experience will be good for him! Besides, you saw how happy he looked."
Tamara was rolling her eyes hard enough that Joe was concerned about her continued health. He wasn't that bad! "Besides, can you imagine the expression on their faces when he blows that ship sky-high? It'll be great!"
Tamara continued glaring at him. There was just no pleasing some people.
Joe,
What the fuck?! You sent us a fucking kid!
Robert
Joe grinned like a maniac. He couldn't wait for the reaction to this. Alex hated being called 'a kid.' It was going to be epic. Hell, Joe fully expected him to be extra petty now. This was already working out better than expected. Alex was going to clash with them. Joe wondered if it was crass to bet on how much of the C4 would be undetonated by the end of the assignment.
Joe,
Answer my fucking emails! The kid is NUTS! NUTS! I swear to God, you send me all of your fruitcakes! Has he even seen a field manual?!
Robert
Joe took another long sip of coffee and decided that Robert was a big boy who could handle one chaotic agent. Alex would email him if there was a real problem. He was already feeling better. Tamara had been instructed to take zero calls from the man. Joe grinned and moved on to other, less amusing, emails. Karma is what this was. If the stupid fucks just never asked to collaborate, they wouldn't be in this position.
Joe,
I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD! HAS THIS KID EVEN HEARD OF SAFETY?! He blew up a dock! And a ship! And several government cars! JOE, ANSWER MY EMAILS OR HE'S GOING TO JAIL FOR BEING A MENACE TO THE PUBLIC! I'm NEVER working with Agent Rider EVER AGAIN!
Robert
Joe smirked as he saw the last email. Ah, Robert. It was unfortunate that the man had never learned about these things called flexibility and creativity. Alex was great if you just learned to work with him. Besides, it wasn't like they had gone over budget or anything. Alex tended to make sure they had enough money to pad the slush fund after his missions. Scorpia training was good about drilling people to stay on budget.
Dear Robert,
I have absolute faith in Agent Rider's professionalism and execution of given tasks. Given that your objectives were achieved, Agent Rider can hardly be blamed for his methods. Take a deep breath, relax, know that you came in under budget, and be nice to the poor man. Agents need to feel loved, Robert.
Joe
Joe was looking forward to the debriefing. Classified, his and Alex's ass. Plus, the kid always caved like wet cardboard half a minute into one of his guilt trips. They should probably work on that at some point, but whatever. Alex flung the door open with his usual abandon. There was a wild little grin on his face that Joe knew all too well. "I think you did great. How about a bonus?"
Alex beamed at him. See? At least one person appreciated him. "Thank you, Joe."
Joe decided to check his email after the debriefing. The poor baby needed to be encouraged after that withering FBI experience, after all.
Hey Joe,
FUCK YOU! FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, FUCK YOU!
Robert
Fin
Based on a prompt by mediaboy (see story summary). This is the 107th work in the Winds of Change 2022 Alex Rider Prompt event, where a new prompt (plus a short 1-3K work) is posted every day. For more details, see the AO3 collection :) Want to discuss? Leave a comment beneath, or join the discord (Link on AO3 Fics or just PM me, lol). Want to take part in our Alex Rider anniversary celebrations in September? Join the WoC discord to take part in a fanfic event! Want to showcase your work to your fellow fans and authors? The WoC server has a new feature! Any author who joins can ask to join our authors' feed, which shows all the fics from the authors who opt in, including non-AR fics!
