"I guess I won't be doing anything today."
Words heavy with resignation fell from between lightly chapped lips, the sensitive skin torn and frayed from Luka's nervous gnawing, the pinkette's mouth downturned into a somber frown. Blue eyes stared blankly at the lock screen of her phone, long, elegant fingers incessantly tapping against the edges of its protective case, the rhythmic clicking of her fingernails filling the air with an anxious tune.
Lightly scratching at the bare skin on her leg, tucked firmly beneath her as she sat cross-legged on her bed, Luka watched the minutes tick away as the midday sun rose ever higher into the sky outside her bedroom window. The day was passing her by, the time on her phone's screen reading 2 o'clock, but the pinkette remained locked in place, like a flower rooted firmly in the ground. No one coming to pluck her, to carry her around, to let her feel the wind dance between her fraying petals.
Luka's life felt like it was at a standstill whenever she was left alone, the pinkette falling into her old habits, trapped inside her makeshift prison until Miku came to free her from her stagnating existence. But, on days like today, when Miku was too busy, the only message Luka received from her girlfriend being a quick 'Good Morning' when she woke up, the social recluse found herself back where she had started, waiting for her teal-haired savior to come and rescue her again.
Gripping her arm tight, the cracked edges of her fingernails digging roughly into her skin, Luka tried to swallow the rising anxiety brewing in her chest, the familiar feeling of noxious bile burning in her throat as she tried in vain to fight off the poisonous thoughts flowing through her head.
Miku was busy, Luka reminded herself for the hundredth time as she nervously hovered her thumb over her girlfriend's contact info, her mind at war with itself over whether or not she should call her. Miku is an idol, an extremely popular one at that, her free time a limited and precious commodity that she was gracious enough to share with her. Luka shouldn't be pushing for more than she already got.
She shouldn't be so selfish. She knew she would have to share Miku with the world, that she would be sought over by her fans and all kinds of promoters and high-level executives, that each moment Luka was given should be cherished like the finest of jewels. Luka only had herself, someone no one wanted nor needed in their life, but the same wasn't true for Miku. People relied on her, looked up to her, just as much if not more than Luka herself.
How could she possibly ask for more of her time?
Nervously scratching the delicate skin on her neck, the pale flesh turning an ugly red under her incessant assault, Luka felt her self-control wane, the familiar knot of anxiety tightening into a deadly noose within her chest. Sucking in a ragged, shuddering breath, her mind let out one last feeble cry of protest, begging her not to do this as the last wall of her resolve crumbled to dust, washed away by her rising fear.
Pulling up Miku's contact info, her thumb hovering just over the call button, Luka felt a jolt of surprise shoot through her as her phone suddenly vibrated in her hand, the loud ping of an incoming message breaking the silence in her room like a violent car crash. Moving her thumb, Luka's body grew cold as she saw Miku's familiar contact name lit up with an unread message, the social recluse's fingers trembling as she pressed on the icon, blue eyes growing wide as a horrible feeling began carving a hole in her gut.
'Aaaa Luka-chan! Sorry for the late reply! I had an important business breakfast with some of the execs from my record label and it ended up running long!'
Luka felt like throwing up as she read over the message, her stomach rolling with disgust and revulsion, but not from what Miku wrote. No, Miku was never the problem. It was her. It was always her. Luka had grown dependent on Miku, her attachment growing like parasitic vines over a flourishing plant, firmly taking root within her girlfriend, so much so that the pinkette was unable to even live her own life without her. Luka was irrevocably and horribly dependent on Miku, her need for the teal-haired girl growing deeper, darker, and more insane the longer they remained together.
It disgusted Luka.
Dropping her phone, its very touch upon her skin burning like a heated stove, Luka, limbs shaking, pushed her back roughly against the wall as she pulled her hood over her head to try and hide away, to avoid any possible stimulus, a panic attack already building within her chest as her thoughts continued to spiral.
How could she have possibly missed this? How could things have fallen so far? Luka had been so preoccupied with her growing affection for the tealette, so enamored with their growing relationship, that she failed to notice that her attachment was growing desperate, cancerous. Luka was losing her independence, what little she had, and was becoming overly reliant on Miku to provide her with happiness, to give her a reason to live.
It would happen again. Luka could feel it. It was going to happen just like her father. Luka's reliance on the tealette, her attachment growing, like a burden hanging from Miku's neck, slowly dragging her down, will cause their relationship to sour. She could already see the cracks forming, see how the darkest recesses of her mind had already poisoned their relationship, that it was only a matter of time until it infected Miku as well.
It all came back to that night, one of immeasurable highs and devastating lows, where Luka finally thought she was on a road toward a better existence, where she found love from another. But, lost within that rose-colored bliss, a poisonous well was springing forth, ready to transform the blooming field into a pox-riddled wasteland. That night, at the river's edge, Luka's life hung precariously in the balance, poised to tip in either direction.
Miku was her savior that night, but she easily could have been her executioner. Luka couldn't do it. She couldn't let this happen. Such a burden shouldn't be placed on another's shoulders, one they never wanted or asked for, a life not of their choosing. Luka never wanted to do this to her and she promises she never will.
Pressing her forehead against her knees, tears burning on the edges of her eyes as she shut them tightly, Luka let the darkness surrounding her slowly envelop all of her senses, the social recluse pointedly ignoring the ping of another text from Miku arriving. She wouldn't respond, not this time. Luka needed to cut this off before it got any worse, no matter how much it may hurt, how horribly the social recluse may suffer in the end.
She wasn't going to hurt Miku, even if it hurt herself.
Life came to a standstill after that. Luka's room once more became her prison, the social recluse hiding away from anyone and everything, even the one she came to love so dearly. She was going to keep her promise no matter what, prepared to break her growing bond with the idol, to excise the tumor that was her growing dependence before it could infect Miku.
But, as expected from the caring tealette, Miku wasn't so easily cast aside, the twin-tailed girl sending various texts and voice messages to her reclusive girlfriend, not the least bit deterred by Luka's dogged silence. Words of great concern, her voice full of understanding and care, Miku never once showing anger or disappointment, pierced Luka's heart like a searing knife, the pain her silence created felt with every message she received.
Luka held firm with her resolve, sending the occasional brief or non-committal message back, hoping it would keep her away, that she won't push further and eventually just give up. Everyone else had, the feeling of losing another person in her life a familiar pain for the pink-haired shut-in, Miku surely to be another in a long list of lost opportunities for happiness. But, for the first time, Luka would be the one to sever the string binding them together, to save another from her infectious existence.
Luka's eyes burned as her fingers typed out another rejection message to the twin-tailed idol, cheeks red and raw from the constant stream of tears rolling down her face, throat constricting painfully as she choked back a strangled cry. It hurt. Hurt to disappoint her over and over, to reject what she desperately needed, to deny a part of her. But she couldn't see her, had to keep her from coming over and seeking her out, had to keep her away.
It was what was best for her.
Something was wrong. Miku could feel it.
It had been several days since she last saw her girlfriend in person, something that wasn't necessarily out of the ordinary, considering her busy work schedule. What was odd, however, were the messages, or sometimes the lack thereof, from Luka. They seemed unnaturally terse, each one short and to the point, always on the verge of downright rejection. It was as if the pink-haired recluse was trying to avoid her.
Miku had tried to contact her in various ways, sending texts and voice messages, even the occasional call, each and every one either being ignored or brushed off with a non-committal response. With every new rejection, Luka seemingly keeping her at arm's length, Miku felt a new stab of pain rend her heart. Not for herself, but for Luka herself, the tealette sure her girlfriend must be suffering in some way, her recent actions completely at odds with the sweet and vulnerable girl Miku knew, one so desperately seeking love and acceptance.
Luka was pushing her away, whether to shield Miku or herself from pain, she didn't know. What Luka hadn't counted on though was that Miku was extremely stubborn, especially when it came to people she cared about, let alone loved. With her mind made up, Miku rearranged her schedule, contacting her manager and having her push several planned recording sessions back to a later date.
She was going to pay her girlfriend a visit.
And thus, on a deceptively sunny day, the brilliant rays a strange antithesis to the jumbled emotions resting uncomfortably in her breast, Miku approached the familiar two-story home of the Megurine family. Nestled comfortably between near-identical neighboring buildings, the home of the Megurine women was a picturesque scene of tranquility and comfort, a serene oasis of familial bliss.
It was here, within its nondescript walls, where Luka was hiding away from the world. From her. And Miku was determined to find out why.
Pushing open the front gate, hinges creaking softly, Miku confidently approached the Megurine's front door, the first major barrier between her and the answers she was looking for. Rapping her knuckles against the heavy wooden surface, the sound reverberating clearly within the modestly sized house, Miku braced herself for what was to come next.
"Yes?" Door swinging open slowly, a soft, mature voice drifted out from the home's entrance, the elder Megurine coming into view, her dark-chocolate orbs switching from confusion to surprise once she laid eyes upon her unexpected guest. "M-Miss Hatsune? It…it's wonderful to see you again."
"Hello, Miss Megurine." Bowing low out of respect, hands placed demurely over her stomach, Miku quickly flashed the older woman a disarming smile, one that left Luka's mother momentarily dumbstruck. "I was wondering if Luka was there."
A brief look of exasperation passed over the elder Megurine's features at the mention of her daughter, something that didn't go unnoticed by the observant idol, Miku was once again reminded of the strained relationship between the mother and her daughter. The twin-tailed idol simply bit her tongue, holding back a small growl of annoyance at the older woman's reaction, Miku trying to push down the growing feeling of disdain for Luka's mother, though each new interaction only seemed to exacerbate it further.
Miku dislikes hating people, the tealette always trying to find the best in everyone, always doing her best to promote positive and happy feelings whenever she could. It was something she relied on during her own dark days, when seeing the good in the world, in others, became harder to do. Despite it all, telling herself that there is always more to the story, Miku found it harder and harder to understand just why Luka's mother acted the way she did toward her own daughter.
"I sent her out for groceries a short while ago. She should be back soon though." Luka's mother muttered with not a small amount of bite in her voice, her arms folding in irritation beneath the swell of her bust, her soft, brown eyes growing sharp as she stared into the shining blue orbs of her unexpected guest.
Nodding her head in understanding, Miku looked over her shoulder, eyes tracing the familiar path toward the convenience store where they first met. As Miku silently contemplated what to do next, her shimmering blue eyes rife with indecision, the elder Megurine regarded the twin-tailed girl standing before her with a curious stare.
"Would you like to come in? You can wait for her inside."
Jumping slightly, caught by surprise by the older woman's unexpected offer, Miku snapped her gaze back to the elder Megurine, Luka's mother stepping aside as she held her arm up, gesturing for the twin-tailed girl to enter. Giving the momentarily flustered idol a gentle smile, brown eyes soft and inviting, the older pinkette saw this as the perfect opportunity to find out just what is going on between Miku and her daughter, especially how their unexpected friendship came to be.
"Thank you, I would like that." Overcoming her momentary lapse from the elder Megurine's invitation, Miku shot the pink-haired woman a wide grin, bowing lightly as she stepped past the threshold and into Luka's home. Slipping off her shoes as Luka's mother gently closed the front door behind them, Miku slowly made her way into the depths of the Megurine's home, blue orbs regarding the house's interior with a curious yet critical eye.
It was nice. Very nice. A classically western-inspired design, with some Japanese sensibilities thrown in, made for a fairly nondescript home. Stopping at the entryway leading into the living room, the kitchen seamlessly meshing with the open living space, Miku regarded it all with great interest. For all intents and purposes, it was a simple, normal home, one many Japanese families would have grown up in.
How did a home such as this hurt Luka so badly?
"I'll make us some tea." Cutting through Miku's musing, the young idol gently tilted her head toward the older woman, Luka's mother giving her a gentle smile as she made her way to the kitchen, procuring the ingredients with practiced ease. "Take a seat wherever you'd like. It'll only be a minute."
"Thank you." Nodding her head in gratitude, Miku's sock-covered feet padded softly on the hardwood flooring as she took a seat on a nearby chair, the twin-tailed girl sinking comfortably into its plush cushions. Placing her purse on the floor, clasps jangling lightly, the tealette absently straightened her skirt, completely unaware that the chair she sat on used to be Luka's father's favorite.
Huffing softly, Miku resting against the chairs backrest, the sound of the older Megurine preparing tea wafting gently through the air, blue eyes watched the suns rays refract into a glinting rainbow on the wooden surface of the coffee table, the tealette silently wondered where the ensuing conversation will go as she took in the living rooms sparsely decorated decor. It felt oddly…empty. It was as if it had been scrubbed clean of life and warmth, a thin facade of normality hiding away deep scars, ones beset upon a once happy family.
It wasn't so different from Luka's room.
"Here you go." Walking into the living room, a small tray of drinks in her hand, the elder Megurine gently placed a steaming hot cup of freshly brewed green tea on the table for her famous guest, placing her own drink before her before taking a seat on the adjacent couch. Uttering a bright 'thank you', Miku gently cradled the cup of tea in her hands before taking a small sip of the steaming hot liquid, a tiny smile curling on her lips from its familiar and comforting taste.
"It's very good." Nodding silently in thanks, Luka's mother took a quick sip of her own drink, the pair falling into an awkward silence, the air feeling heavy with oncoming tension, neither quite sure how to respectfully broach the obvious elephant in the room. While the elder Megurine was too intimidated by the younger girl, her fame and popularity a mighty hurdle to overcome in such a tense situation, the twin-tailed idol was held back by her own worries, too respectful of her host's kind invitation into their home to immediately pry into the sore subject of their family history.
"So, how did get to know my daughter?" Deciding to break the awkward tension with a simple question, the elder Megurine crossed her legs as she leaned back, taking another sip of her tea, deep chocolate eyes studying the idol with a critical stare. It was a question that had been plaguing her ever since their original meeting, the sight of a pop idol at her doorstep a memory that would stick with her forever, especially when said idol came to see her reclusive daughter.
"I ran into her, quite literally, at the convenience store just up the hill." Smiling softly at the specific memory, her thumb lightly tracing the rim of her cup, Miku could still vividly recall that day as if it had been yesterday, the twin-tailed idol giggling to herself as she remembered that fateful moment. It was the day she first fell in love with Luka.
"I got her something to drink as an apology and I decided to accompany her home. We met up again a little while later, again at that store, and decided to hang out. We exchanged contacts with each other and we kind of just became friends after that."
Briefly recounting their initial meeting, Miku decided to omit a couple of facts from the story, such as how she would go back to the store every day or how the two of them are now in a romantic relationship, let alone some of the more harrowing ordeals Luka had to go through. She wasn't quite comfortable with sharing such personal matters, her own and Luka's, with the older woman just yet.
Luka's mother simply stared at her twin-tailed guest in silent contemplation, her face completely blank, the elder Megurine not revealing any of her inner thoughts though Miku had a good idea of just what was running through the older woman's head. She was skeptical, not fully trusting her story, but not because she felt like Miku was lying to her or omitting any facts. She was skeptical that her daughter could even make friends.
And so, Miku decided to simply remain quiet, gently sipping her tea as she waited for the older woman to speak, content with keeping her girlfriend out of trouble due to a slip of the tongue. She knew their relationship was strained, that Luka kept many secrets from her mother, not for any malicious reason but simply because she didn't think she would care or accept her for who she was.
"I apologize for what I'm about to say next," blinking slightly in surprise, caught off guard by the frustration evident in the older woman's voice, Miku regarded Luka's mother with her full attention, "but how could you possibly have made friends with Luka?"
Gripping her mug tightly, hands shaking slightly, Miku felt a spike of anger flare up inside her at the older woman's question, her eyes narrowing slightly as she stared hotly at the elder Megurine. She knew their relationship was bad, that there was a lot of unspoken pain between the two of them, but it irritated…no, pissed off!…Miku when she spoke of Luka like that, with so much hostility, such exasperated anger. How could anyone speak of their own daughter, their child, of Luka like that?
'Her' Luka.
Exhaling softly, her tight grip on her cup loosening, fingers burning slightly as they relaxed, Miku swallowed the rising anger in her chest. She knew getting angry with the elder Megurine wouldn't help anything, least of all Luka, that all it would do was drive a deeper wedge between the already fractured family. She didn't want to hurt either of them with an ill-tempered outburst.
"Luka is wonderful."
Miku began as she gently placed her half-empty cup back onto the table, a smile curling on her lips as thoughts of her girlfriend swirled in her head, her beaming face reflected on the surface of her drink. Her cute smile, how adorable she is when she blushes, and how cautiously affectionate she is. The feel of her hand in her own, the tenderness of her lips upon her cheek, and the gentle breath upon her skin. The soft timbre of her voice, how her shoulders tremble as she cries, how, despite all of her anguish and pain, she will still put Miku above anything else, even herself.
"She's sweet and kind and so wonderfully caring. It's always a joy to be around her, even if all we do is talk, I always look forward to being with her. I love spending time with her. No matter what we do, I always have fun. Despite my hectic life, Luka is always there to talk, willing to hear me out, treating me as a regular person, not a celebrity. She sees me as me. Luka is just…wonderful."
As her words softly trailed off, her blue staring absently at her intertwined fingers resting in her lap, Miku's head was afloat with blissful thoughts of her girlfriend. Letting out her feelings, giving voice to the thoughts floating in her head, especially to another person, truly let the twin-tailed idol realize just how much the reclusive pinkette had come to mean to her.
She loved Luka, truly and dearly.
"How?!" Slamming her cup down forcefully upon the coffee table, tea sloshing violently within its ceramic shell, Miss Megurine let out a frustrated growl as she regarded the young idol with a blazing fury in her chocolate-colored eyes. "How could that be possible?! Nothing! I've seen nothing like that! I haven't seen a glimpse of that child in years!"
Taken aback by the older woman's violent outburst, Miku regarded the Luka's mother with a sympathetic gaze, the pain in the elder Megurine's voice piercing the twin-tailed girl's heart. So, she had been right. Luka's mother was suffering from this, just like her daughter.
"Luka used to be so cheerful. When she was younger, she would always have this bright smile on her face, her eyes practically sparkling as she would blabber on about absolutely nothing. It was a handful dealing with her, the girl curious about anything and everything, but it just made our home so much brighter. She was such a sweet little thing."
A small, almost imperceptible smile, curled on the edges of the older woman's lips, one plagued by heavy sorrow, her eyes, so soft and rich, glistening with years of unshed tears. Looking at the elder Megurine now, shoulders slumped as she stared wistfully into the distance, Miku could see the heavy toll she had to bear over the years.
"Now…now I don't even know who she is. There is nothing left of that child. It's like a stranger in my own home, one that looks and sounds like my daughter, but that is all. I see no trace of my child. Not like I can spend any time with her to find out who this stranger is. She can't even spend two minutes in front of me without running away or breaking down. She won't talk to me, she won't even look at me! I just want to understand her again!"
As more and more words fell from between the elder Megurine's lips, years' worth of frustration and anger, of sorrow and heartache, of confusion and despair, bubbling up to the surface in a torrent of pain, Miku simply listened to her. Miku gave the woman her chance to let it all out, providing her a shoulder to help bear her emotional burden, to help lift a bit of that weight. It was something she herself needed a long time ago, when no one knew of her pain, so she knew how desperately needed it can be.
"I want to be there for Luka but nothing makes sense about her. Her thoughts, her feelings. I just don't understand anything that's going on in her head. All I want is to be able to talk to her again, listen to her babble on just like she used to. But it's like an invisible barrier has been built up between us and I just don't know how to get past it. Sometimes, I think she is purposefully keeping me out."
Miss Megurine cried as her hand roughly ran through her hair, fingers curling tightly around the short strands of pink, her voice hitching painfully as she swallowed a painful sob. It was a mournful sound, rife with heartache and hopelessness, of a mother fighting to keep what family she had left together. Of a woman fruitlessly searching for what was lost.
"I just want to understand what went wrong…I just want my daughter back."
Silence, stifling and painful, permeated the room as Miss Megurine's sorrowful wish, her desperate plea for her lost child, remained suspended in the air, no one there to see it come true. Wiping the back of her hand over her eyes, ridding herself of the stray tears that had managed to push past the barrier of indifference she had built up over the years, the elder Megurine briefly chided herself for her behavior. She shouldn't be placing such a burden on another, especially a young girl like Miku. She's supposed to be strong, to bear this burden in silence, when all she wanted to do was cry out for help.
"I don't understand Luka either."
Snapping her head up, Miss Megurine stared in wide-eyed disbelief at the young idol sitting across from her, confusion and surprise etched across her weathered features. The twin-tailed idol simply met her gaze with a melancholic glisten in her eyes, her head dipping slightly as she stared forlornly at the ground, her toe tracing random patterns in the carpet.
"I want to and try hard every day to learn more about Luka." Miku admitted with a sad smile as she grasped her hands tight, a small tremble rolling through her, the usually larger-than-life idol seeming almost small in the older woman's eyes. "But, there are just some things I don't understand about her and…sometimes…I think I never will. And it really hurts knowing that. Knowing I won't be able to help her when she needs it. It makes me feel…helpless, I guess."
Miss Megurine was left speechless as the teal-haired girl shared her own feelings, her own fears, and worries. This girl, so bright and vibrant just a short while ago, with a fiery resolve burning in her eyes, seemed almost meek. It pained the older Megurine to see her like this, so wrought with sadness, the young idol a painful reflection of herself, of how she used to be, knowing just what she became. She didn't wish something like that on anyone.
"But," Miku continued, her hand placed gently over her heart as she lifted her head to look at the elder Megurine, pain radiating behind her crystalline gaze, "as much as it hurts us, it must hurt Luka ten times over. We truly can't understand how much pain she must go through every day. She is all alone."
Biting her lips, the elder Megurine turned her head away from the young girls probing stare, ashamed at herself for failing to take such a thing into consideration. She loved her daughter, truly she did, but, during this tumultuous time, through all the suffering, she had failed to consider just how much pain Luka must be going through. She failed to see, that during this time, with her daughter in the center of it all, Luka was hurting more than anyone.
"All I can do is be there for her when she needs me. Even if it's just something like listening to her and comforting her when she needs it. And, maybe with time, I will hopefully be able to understand her someday. I'll keep working towards that goal, a little at a time."
Leaning forward with a heavy sigh, arms resting heavily on her knees, chocolate-colored eyes stared silently into the shimmering surface of tea pooling at the bottom of her cup.
"How much pain will we have to endure to finally reach that place?"
The elder Megurine stared at her warped reflection in quiet contemplation, counted every wrinkle dotting her skin. She looked old and tired. Could she hold up much longer? Will she last long enough to see her child once more?
"Luka is worth it though," Miku whispered softly, crystalline orbs of shimmering blue lit up as stunning as the morning sky as she smiled brightly at Luka's mother, her hand placed gently over her heart, "isn't she?"
Looking at Miku's beaming features, the young idol's face lit up with hope and determination, Miss Megurine could truly understand how this girl managed to break through the walls her daughter had erected over the years. At every turn, Miku managed to surprise her, be it with her quiet confidence or her unshakable kindness, the twin-tailed idol didn't let anything stand in her way. It was through this boundless optimism that Miku managed to pry away the shell Luka had cocooned herself in, chasing away the torment and pain that plagued her, and reaching out toward the lost child within.
"If only Luka had met you sooner." Exhaling a soft, breathy laugh, the ghost of a smile briefly curling on the edges of her lips, the elder Megurine shook her head in silent amusement. This girl. This strange, sweet girl. She truly was something else. Something Luka sorely needed.
More than herself.
"W-why?"
A soft, pain-stricken gasp broke the silence between the pair, both of them turning their heads in the direction of where it came from, crystalline and chocolate-colored eyes widening in surprise at the pink-haired girl standing at the living room's threshold. Luka, a bag of groceries dangling limply in her hand, her terrified and confused gaze flickering between the living room's occupants, stood paralyzed in shock, her lip trembling as she tried to desperately figure out what was going on.
"M-Miku?" Luka sputtered out between shuddering gasps, her head growing muddy with confused anxiety, her heart palpitating rapidly in her chest. "Why are you here?"
Immediately recognizing the look in the pinkette's eyes, the glassy sheen slowly washing over her sapphire orbs, Miku quickly leapt to her feet, her conversation with Luka's mother completely forgotten as she went to check on her girlfriend. Slowly approaching the panicking girl, Luka's eyes, wide and fearful, quickly darting over to her, Miku gently took her girlfriend's unoccupied hand in her own.
"Hey, hey, everything is ok." Whispering softly, her tone soothing and calm, Miku pulled the pinkette's attention to herself, her fingers curling protectively around Luka's. "I came to see you, but you weren't home. Your mother invited me in to talk and wait for you."
Stroking the back of Luka's hand with her thumb, drawing slow, calming circles along the delicate skin, Miku gently reassured her panicking girlfriend. Carefully, like dealing with the most delicate of china, Miku gently took the bag of groceries out of Luka's hand, the reclusive pinkette slowly releasing her death grip upon its plastic hilt.
"Miss Megurine, can you please take care of the groceries?" Turning to face the elder Megurine, her voice firm but gentle, Miku made sure to keep a hold of Luka's hand, unwilling to break her fragile connection of comfort with the panicking girl. "I'm going to bring Luka to her room."
All Miss Megurine could do was nod dumbly in response, the older woman pushing herself off of the couch in a quiet daze, quickly making her way over to the twin-tailed idol. Placing the bag of groceries in the elder Megurine's hands with a thankful smile, Miku gently rested her hand on Luka's lower back as she led her over and up the stairs, the pair disappearing out of sight.
Listening to their fading footsteps, the sound of a door opening and closing briefly echoing through the house, Miss Megurine remained rooted to the spot as she tried to process what had just happened. It was almost seamless the way Miku handled the imminent breakdown of her daughter. Even she could see it coming, the way her body trembled, the panic-stricken look on her face, the horrible fear in her eyes. It was something she had seen many times before.
But, somehow, Miku managed to bring her back, to pull Luka away from the brink, all with a tender hand and a reassuring voice. And Luka responded to her, keeping her eyes locked on the idol, listening to everything she said. Luka had trusted Miku, trusted her to take care of her, trusted that everything would be ok. And Miku made sure of it.
Looking down at the bag of groceries in her hand, remembering how gently Miku dealt with her daughter, how easy it seemed to her, Miss Megurine felt a wave of shame wash over her. How? How was Miku able to do something she had failed at so horribly?
The soft fabric of Luka's trusted hoodie felt oddly calming to Miku as she led her girlfriend toward her bed, the young idol keeping her hand situated gently upon Luka's lower back, her touch gentle, reassuring. Guiding the taller girl to take a seat, Luka shakily flopped onto the edge of her bed, her legs quaking from sheer exhaustion which caused Miku to frown as she went to sit next to her.
Luka must have been pushing herself this whole time.
Scooting a little closer, her side coming to rest comfortably against her girlfriend, Miku snaked her arms around Luka's waist, holding her softly and securely in a loving hug. And Miku just held her, silently letting the minutes tick by, content with simply holding her, her cheek pressed softly against the taller girl's shoulder. Hesitantly, almost cautiously, like a frightened animal, Luka gently rested her head against Miku's, her labored breathing gradually slowing down as she took comfort from her girlfriend's soothing embrace.
"I can't keep doing this." Luka's words came out softly, her voice barely above a whisper, a deep shudder rolling through her body as she stifled a painful hiccup.
"What do you mean?" Miku tenderly asked as she pulled back slightly to look into Luka's face, her voice calm and reassuring, her hand rubbing soothing circles over Luka's back, her tender hold upon her girlfriend's waist never loosening.
"I can't keep relying on you to fix all of my problems." Luka croaked ruefully, her voice cracked and broken as she stared back at Miku with sullen eyes, pain and sorrow reflected within her sapphiric gaze. "I rely so much on you. It's…it's almost like a dependence."
Her voice, thick with shame, fell into a choked sob, her shoulders trembling as her fingers dug painfully into her bare thighs. Why did this have to happen? She didn't want to hurt her, not like this. It would have been easier if Miku had just left her alone. It was better that way. Her father knew that best of all.
"I know it will only cause you, us, pain."
Lowering her head, Miku silently contemplated the pinkette's words, Luka's whole body shaking as she waited for the idol's response. Removing her arms from around Luka's waist, a cold feeling of dread washed over the social recluse as Miku nodded her head thoughtfully, a contemplative expression covering her features.
"I understand where you're coming from, it could become unhealthy."
Sickness, dark and twisting, rolled around in Luka's stomach as Miku confirmed her worst fears. Her fingers grew cold, fruitlessly clutching at her skin, her mind growing fuzzy as static filled her ears. It was over. It was all over. Soon, she will have nothing.
"I'm also afraid I'll become dependent on you."
W-what…what did she say?
"What? I…I don't understand."
Slowly turning to regard the twin-tailed girl at her side, the young idol's contemplative gaze still focused on her feet, her legs idly swinging back and forth. What did Miku mean by she would become dependent…on her? She had nothing to offer her, she was a worthless husk, a writhing disease. What could possibly cause her dependence?
"I like being there for you, Luka. I know you don't believe me when I say it, but I don't hate it when you look to me for comfort or guidance. I guess, in a way, I love to coddle you. I love holding and kissing you, letting you know everything will be alright. I like being the one you rely on."
Luka was struck mute by this revelation, blue eyes wide with disbelief, a small blush covering her cheeks as memories of their previous interactions ran through her head. She…she didn't hate her? She didn't find her deplorable or disgusting? She didn't see her as a nuisance, a parasite, something to excise from your life?
She actually wanted to do these things for her?
"But, I'm also afraid. Afraid that it will rob you of your independence, that it will place a barrier between us, that we won't really be our own people anymore. That all we will have will be a relationship of mutual dependence."
Miku continued, her voice carrying a concerned lilt as she lightly pressed the tips of her fingers together, her brow furrowed deeply with worry. Contemplating Miku's words, Luka could understand her girlfriend's fears. The idea of losing her own self, of relying solely on the twin-tailed idol for her own happiness caused a dark sinking feeling to bubble up within her chest.
"But, even so, I will still be there for you. No matter what. I promise that I'll be mindful of your needs, even if sometimes that means I can't be the one to help you. I want to be there to support you, to catch you when you fall, so that one day I can see you walk on your own two feet."
Turning to face the reclusive pinkette, a bright grin curled on the edges of Miku's lips, Luka's heart skipping a beat as she stared into the gorgeous depths of her eyes, shimmering like the deepest pools of azure. Staring into those orbs of stunning sapphire, Luka felt her breath hitch in her throat, tears falling from her eyes as she felt every ounce of emotion radiating from their depths.
Devotion.
"Because I know you'd do the same for me."
Choking back a strangled sob, tears flowing unbidden down her cheeks, Luka turned her head away, afraid to show herself to Miku. How? How could she possibly have gotten so lucky? How could she be so lucky to have met Miku?
"Will you hate me?" Luka cried softly, her voice meek and small, her breath hitching in her throat as Miku's arms wrapped gently around her chest, the idol pressing herself comfortingly against her back. "If I become too much of a burden, if I keep making stupid assumptions left and right, will you leave me?"
"Never."
Miku whispered softly as she nuzzled her nose into the softness of Luka's hair, her arms pulling the pinkette closer to her chest, her breath ghosting gently over Luka's skin. A soft hiccup passed Luka's lips, her whole body trembling as her fingers curled tightly against the arm wrapped across her chest, never wanting to let go. She believed her. She believed Miku.
"I want to always be with you. Believe me, should we ever part ways, it will not be because things became too much for me or too hard. With you, nothing is ever too hard."
Nodding softly, pink hair lightly tickling Miku's cheeks, Luka turned to face her girlfriend, silent tears rolling down her cheeks as she leaned forward to capture the tealette's lips in a loving kiss. She hoped it could properly convey what her words could not. Wanted to tell her how happy she is with her. How every moment together fills her with immeasurable bliss. That she is thankful to have met her.
That she is grateful every day for having Miku in her life.
Sitting alone in the now empty living room, eyes fixated upon the half-empty cup of tea Miku left behind, Miss Megurine resembled a marble statue as she quietly contemplated what had happened today. Through it all, the elder Megurine was left with one inescapable thought, one feeling that permeated all else after her talk with the twin-tailed idol.
She had to fix herself. Because if she doesn't, how could she ever hope to help her daughter?
A/N: A gentle hand to help you stand on your own two feet.
Next chapter: Moving Forward
Oof. I'm kind of becoming a broken record at this point, but once again, I'm extremely sorry for the long delay between chapters. Life had a lot of ups and downs recently which made it hard to get back into the writing mood. Things are looking up though, thankfully. I can't exactly promise there won't be long breaks between chapters, but I will try and I promise this story won't die.
Once again, I would like to thank everyone for reading. I am eternally grateful! Have a wonderful day and I love you all!
