THE ADDISONS SITCOM

Author's note: loosely based off my adventure to walmart recently


Orange was at the self-checkout slowly scanning his items. He had about fifty bottles of orange juice in his basket and took about a minute to scan each individual item being careful to not accidentally miss an item before placing them into a plastic bag. A Swatchling Walmart employee was nearby and found Orange suspicious for being so slow and went up to him to inspect his scans to see if he was stealing anything.

"Uh, hi?" Said Orange as he awkwardly stepped aside.

The Swatchling didn't respond, only heavily breathed while checking the self-checkout screen and the bagged items.

"Hello?"

No response or acknowledgment.

Orange took out his ID and showed the Swatchling it. "Uhhhh... did you need my ID?"

The Swatchling looked at his ID then continued checking the screen and bags.

Blue witnessed whatever was occurring and stepped in. He pulled a Maus out of his pocket shoving it into the Swatchling's face.

"EEP! A MAUS!" shrieked the Swatchling as he ran off screaming only to trip over a running Spamton.

"Thank you, Blue." Sighed Orange with relief. "Bitch."

"Anytime." Smiled Blue. "Bitch."

"Bitch."

"Bitch."

Pink stomped up to them. Parts of his hair was on fire. "THERE YOU ARE! DO YOU WANT SOME FUCKING NOT ORANGE JUICE WITH ALL YOUR FUCKTASTICAL FUCKING ORANGE JUICE?" He screeched, infuriated because his hair was not only partially burning but infested again with tiny spamtons. "I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED BUT I BLAME YELLOW FOR THIS!"

"Yellow is in the bathroom." Responded Blue as a couple of tiny Spamtons ran by him. "Bitch."

"Bitch." Responded Pink.

"Bitch." Said Orange.

"Bitch."

All the way in the bathroom Yellow sensed the call of the Addisons and said, "Bitch." which disturbed other people within the toilet stalls.

Orange finished scanning the orange juice bottles and Spamton hopped into the basket laughing manically raising his arms up in victory. Swatch was nearby out of breath. He tossed his broom onto the floor giving up the chase as tiny Spamtons continued to run around. "Piss-off-athon." He muttered.

Yellow approached them with toilet paper trailing behind stuck on his shoe. "Alright, are we done here?"

"Pretty much." Responded Orange. "Now begins the tedious task of carrying fifty bottles of orange juice back home on foot.

"FUUUUCK!" Screeched Pink.

Sans was nearby a self-checkout machine scanning ketchup bottles. "Before you begin reading this story, let me give you fair warning, I'm not in it or not much anyway. I'm going to be napping." Canned laughter roared with applause. As soon as it finished laughing, he continued. "I never met a lasagna I didn't like." The laughter exploded screaming their heads off with laughter.

Blue turned to Sans. "Is that… going to be a thing you keep doing? Who even are you?!"

"Diet is 'die' with a 't." He responded. The audience lost it laughing so hard that some started to die.

Orange whispered to Blue. "We... we don't actually know who he is or why he lives with us, we just… kind of pretend he doesn't exist."

Blue shuddered. "I'm scared."

"I am, too."

Suddenly Blue felt Spamton leap onto his head hissing madly swatting his hands wildly at the air.

"SPAMTON, I WARNED YOU!" Yelled Blue as he turned around to shockingly discover he was about to be hit on the head with a broom by the Swatchling from earlier as revenge for the Maus. "STAY [[500 feet]] AWAY FROM MY [[19.95 bargain prices]]!" Spamton screeched hissing to protect Blue's head as if it were a Pipis.

The Swatchling continued trying to hit Blue only to be thwarted by Spamton. Blue was speechless but his quick thinking led to him suddenly shoving Kromers into the gremlin's mouth.

"YUM YUM DELICIOUS KROMER!" Shouted Spamton as a flock of tiny Spamtons ran out his mouth and crawled onto the Swatchling reciting loudly various lyrics of "Modest Maus" causing the Swatchling to scream and run off.

"Spamton!" Shouted an exhausted but relieved Blue. "I've warned you to NOT remind me about my head and Pipis!" He plucked him off and held him for a while glaring for a bit before smiling at him. "BUT thank you for saving me from getting hit." He hugged the gremlin and he hugged back.

"Eat your heart out." Smiled Sans as the canned laughter audience went 'awww'.

Spamton began purring to which Blue quickly stopped hugging out of terror. "OH GOD THIS AGAIN! WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"THE TOILET IS FUCKING EXPLODING!" Shouted a customer. "RUN!"

"Oh yeah" said Yellow, "I have bad diarrhea."

The building shook and the toilet in the bathroom violently exploded.

"YELLOW, YOU PISS BITCH!" Screeched Pink.

Suddenly the shaking stopped and nothing happened.

"Let's… let's just grab the bags and get out of here." Said Blue as he grabbed as many bags as he could carry nervous that something was going to happen.

"FUCK THIS SHIT!" Screeched Pink. "EVERYBODY INTO THE FUCKING BASKET RIGHT NOW! WE ARE BREAKING OUT OF HERE! MY HAIR IS RUINED! RUUUUINED!" He angrily sobbed.

"Pink, it's illegal to steal a shopping cart!" Said Orange.

"We all can't fit in the basket." Responded Blue. "Just the bags with orange juices and Spamton."

Pink was so loud and infuriated that no one could understand what he was saying and instead complied placing their bags and Spamton into the basket as the pink man went into an ungodly horrific mode. "BIIIITCH!" He growled suddenly ramming the shopping cart through a brick wall and out of the store sobbing furiously. The three others followed unable to keep up at his horrific speed.

A line of fire trailed behind the angry pink man.

"Jeez, bitch." Said Yellow.

"Bitch." Said orange.

"Bitch." Said Blue.

"Bitch."

"BITCH!" Shouted Pink from a far distance.

"Bitch."

"Bitch."

"Bitch."

"BITCH!"

"Bitch."

TO BE CONTINUED?

Author's second note: this is 1000000% exactly what happens when you go to walmart