THE ADDISONS SITCOM
Author's note: been feeling sick/nauseated since yesterday :( also I am a garbage gremlin that found a book on the ground covered in dirt and dead insects and I've been reading it and my high school reading teacher said it's a gift from heaven and that the book found the right person and that she actually met the author and the author lives within this region ok long author's note oops but that was just cool and I wanted to share
Blue had gone to the convenience store and walked back into the house. "Okay, I bought a lottery ticket. The numbers are 4, 20, 69, Z, P, albatross."
The other Addisons stared at him with a deadpan expression. "Those… those aren't numbers." Spoke Orange.
"I chose a quick pick and this is what I was given."
"EVERYBODY SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO EXFOLIATE!" Screeched Pink from the floor of the living room. His entire body was covered in black charcoal mush.
Orange, Blue, Yellow all gasped in horror and shielded their eyes. "PINK!" Yelled Blue. "DO THAT IN THE BATHROOM!"
"ARE YOU SERIOUSLY NAKED IN THE LIVING ROOM?" Screeched Yellow.
"I'M WEARING FUCKING UNDERWEAR!"
"GO TO THE BATHROOM TO DO THIS!" Shouted Orange.
Pink sat up scowling at them. "FINE!" He stomped over to the bathroom and slapped the door shut.
"Bitch." Said Yellow.
"Bitch." Said Orange.
"Bitch." Said Blue.
Pink opened the door and yelled. "BITCH!" Before slowly closing it.
"Bitch."
Blue, Orange, Yellow sat at the couch. Spamton slammed himself upon the remote and rolled around on the floor laughing. "GARFIELD [[4.99]]!" He laughed as A Tail of Two Kitties played on the television.
"Spamton" spoke Blue. "We need to watch the news."
Spamton grabbed the remote with his mouth and began growling in protest wanting to watch the Garfield movie.
Blue sighed and pulled out a box of SPAMTON FOOD from the side of the couch. "Give me the remote and I'll give you Spamton Food." He shook the box.
Spamton immediately dropped the remote and hopped onto the couch crawling onto Blue eager for the treats. "SPAMTON, OFF!" He picked up the gremlin and brought him into the kitchen then placed him down as he filled a food bowl full of Spamton Food. "Here… but please, NO INFESTING THE HOUSE."
The gremlin hissed at him but then complied as he slammed his head into the food bowl to inhale the Spamton food. "YUM YUM DELICIOUS KROMER!"
Blue returned back to the couch and changed the channel to the news.
Suddenly a horrid screech came from the bathroom.
"Oh god." Sighed the exhausted Blue. "Someone check on him, please."
Yellow ran over to inspect what the problem was. He opened the door to peek in and found Swatch dripping toilet water all over a mortified Pink. "Piss-off-athon." Said Swatch.
Immediately Yellow grabbed a broom and began swatting at Swatch trying to shove him back inside the toilet. He accidentally smacked Pink causing the pink man to screech out furiously.
"YOU'VE RUINED MY HAIR, AGAIN!" Shouted the angry pink man as he attempted leaping onto Yellow accidentally landing onto Swatch knocking him into the toilet. Yellow started flushing but Swatch wouldn't fit down the drain and so he continued whacking him still accidentally hitting Pink splashing toilet water onto him and all over the bathroom.
"PIss-off-athon." Muttered Swatch as he pushed Pink off and climbed out the toilet to exit out the bathroom. Yellow continued swatting accidentally hitting Pink.
Pink was so loud and angry that his infuriated screams could not be translated into any language.
Swatch exited the house and Sans walked in. "All right, wise guy, I got another game for ya. It's called the 'My Claw In Your Butt' game. Now let me out!" Canned laughter roared.
Back in the living room, Blue and Orange were watching the news immune to the chaos occurring within the house. Papyrus was the newscaster and he read from a stack of papers. "ALRIGHT! Time for the lottery numbers to be drawn!" He excitedly said.
Blue held up his lottery ticket. "The numbers are… 4!"
"Oh, that's one number!"
"20!"
"Ohhhh! Nah, I surely won't win."
"69!"
"OH, this means I've won two dollars so far!"
"Z!"
"WOW! Four so far!"
"P!"
"WOW… NO WAY! NO WAY!"
"And the final number is ALBATROSS!"
"WHAT?!"
He and Orange gasped.
"Did… Did I just win the lottery?!" He questioned feeling disbelief.
Yellow and a soaked dirty Pink walked into the living room.
"Guys, we… we won the lottery!" Spoke Blue still not believing this moment.
"WHAT!" Gasped Yellow. "WOW!"
Pink's infuriated disposition immediately changed to joy. "HOLY SHIT!" He cheered.
Blue finally began to process what just occurred and smiled as he leaped off the couch. The four all hugged and began jumping for joy. "WE WON! WE WON!"
Spamton crawled into the living room sniffing the floor. He spotted the lottery ticket on the couch. He climbed onto it sniffing it and then inhaled it into his mouth swallowing it.
Immediately the Addisons went quiet after witnessing this horrific moment.
"SPAMTON!" Shouted a dismayed and exhausted Blue. "WHY?!"
Orange and Yellow were speechless. Orange fell onto his knees. "I thought I could finally get my bank account out the negative." He mourned.
Pink screeched out an ungodly noise and ran into the kitchen returning back with a butcher knife. "WE ARE OPENING HIM UP!" He approached Spamton knocking him off the couch onto the floor and pinned him down holding the knife over his stomach. "WE ARE GETTING THAT LOTTERY TICKET BACK!"
Spamton chortled madly.
Right as Pink was about to insert the knife, Blue quickly knocked him over and clutched Spamton protectively. "NO!"
Pink screeched and waved the knife around trying to stab at Spamton as Blue dodged the blade running to his room to seek shelter from the infuriated pink man. He threw Spamton into his room and then himself before locking it. He shoved a heavy chair in front of the door to prevent any entrance. Pink banged wildly at the door trying to get in. He started hacking at the door with the knife creating a small hole to which he stuck his head through.
"HERE'S PIIIIINK!" He screeched, his eyes blood-red as blood poured out his mouth from the wooden splinters. He stuck his arm through the hole and began unlocking the door. Yellow tried to pull him back while Orange attempted to take the blade away but they were shoved back.
Blue screamed out in terror as he grabbed Spamton and climbed out the window. "He's finally lost it!" He heaved running out of breath. "What has my life become?!"
All the while Spamton chortled like a kookaburra.
The blue man ran as fast as he could until he arrived at the dumpster they once stayed at. He threw Spamton in and then climbed inside before shutting the lid.
After several moments of trying to catch his breath, he glared at Spamton. "Spamton!" He angrily said. "Why?! Why did you eat the lottery ticket?! Now you can't return back home or you'll die by Pink's wrath, and I don't want you to be alone down here, so now… I also can't return back."
Spamton began coughing. He got on all fours and continued coughing violently until he hacked out a ball of slimy papers mixed with hair.
"OH EW!" Shouted Blue. "SPAMTON, WHAT THE FUCK?!"
The gremlin continued hacking until a Maus plopped out his mouth that scuttled off back into Blue's pocket.
"SPAMTON, YOU ARE NOT A CAT!" He paused for a moment taking in the moment. "Wait… when did you eat my Maus? SPAMTON!"
Spamton finished coughing and then crawled onto Blue's lap purring.
"WHAT THE HELL, SPAMTON!" Screeched Blue as he pushed him off. "Why are you like this?"
"FUJI MAMA!" He shouted.
"What does that even mean?!" Sobbed Blue feeling his sanity fully leaving him. "What is wrong with you?"
After a couple moments of silence, Blue finally examined the slimy ball of papers. "Eww!" He groaned as he picked the papers apart. "Coupons, coupons… OH! Here's the lottery ticket! It's actually intact?"
Spamton smiled at him.
Suddenly an ax slammed through one of the walls of the dumpster along with unholy screeching striking fear into Blue. "OH SHIT IT'S PINK! NOW HE HAS AN AXE?!" He screamed as he pushed Spamton behind him protectively. "PINK! STOP! WE HAVE THE TICKET!"
"ARURGGHHH!" Loudly garbled Pink having lost every last shred of sanity as he continued hacking at the dumpster creating nauseatingly loud metallic noises.
Blue decided to risk his life and opened the lid to shove the lottery ticket onto Pink's face. It stuck on due to the slime it was covered in causing Pink to shriek out in agony as he dropped his ax. "ARRGHHHH!"
This was the final blow that caused Pink to fall over onto the ground exhausted and defeated.
"I got the ticket back!" Said Blue out of breath. "You don't need to cut open Spamton. We can all go home and get some rest before claiming the money. I will put the ticket in a safe. We can go early in the morning to retrieve the prize."
Pink muttered incoherently.
Orange and Yellow finally caught up, heaving and out of breath. "There you are!" Said Orange in between gasps. He ran over to Pink to kick away the axe he previously dropped and then peeked into the dumpster. "Are you okay, Blue?" He reached his arm in to help pull him out the dumpster.
"I don't know anymore." Shuddered Blue looking down at Pink. He reached into the dumpster to carry out Spamton. "I've lost all shred of my sanity, Pink tried to murder us, Spamton is apparently a cat that somehow ate my Maus, the lottery ticket is covered in Spamton slime, and I am in hell and still going through a crisis over my head being a Pipis."
Orange smiled and hugged him. "Yay!"
Yellow picked up Pink draping him over his shoulders. "It's been a long day. Walmart, the world rumbling, this… let's go home."
The Addisons along with Spamton walked back home to rest for the remainder of the day.
TO BE CONTINUED?
