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Four days to the dream wedding

Normally, Mamoru had been waking up in the mornings next to his beloved little blonde with the funny hairstyle in their fairly comfortable king-size bed for quite some time.

But that morning, everything was different.

His fiancée was far away... on a ski trip in the mountains with her best friends to enjoy the last days before the wedding relaxing with champagne, beauty treatments, cozy fireside evenings and fun snowball fights including extensive sledding. And Mamoru was also not in their recently acquired luxury penthouse in Azabu-Juban.

No.

Mamoru was still at the Crown. In the midst of empty beer, vodka and tequila bottles as well as various half-emptied bags of chips and snacks. And lying next to him was not his beloved Usagi, but the silicone version of Motoki's little sister Unazuki, who was now looking lasciviously at Mamoru with her half-open eyes and, thanks to her high-end special feature, directly addressing the future groom. Or better said... she moaned at him.

"Uhhh ahhh... ohhh Mamoru!"

A terrible headache started as he half-opened his eyes.

"ohhh Mamoru!"

Again, that pretty realistic moan came from her slightly open, sinful mouth, which Mamoru would have loved to close immediately with his hand, but something prevented him from doing so. He just couldn't reach with his arm the ever louder artificial real doll that was tirelessly - almost like an alarm clock - trying to encourage him to get up.

When he could finally see clearly, he noticed that someone was lying half on top of him, smelling damn strongly of alcohol and looking quite a bit like his best friend with his sandy blond fuzzy hair. Impractically, Motoki had always been such a sound sleeper that easily a jackhammer could have done its job right next to him. He would not wake up. Not even now when the rubber doll moans were suddenly drowned out by a loud knocking against the door of the Crown. Followed by a slightly hectic voice

"Motoki! Are you in there?"

Sheer panic spread through Mamoru and all at once he was wide awake.

"Motoki's mother!"

With a spirited jerk, he pushed Motoki off of him, who, completely unfazed by Mamoru's action, rolled to the side and ultimately landed on top of the scantily clad Real Doll version of his little sister, lying backwards on the floor littered with bottles and empty chip bags. Drool from Motoki's mouth ran down the doll's voluminous silicone lips as the sandy-haired man smacked his lips with pleasure in his sleep, then continued to snore lightly as he snuggled more intimately against the fake-Unazuki.

"Motoki! Open the door, the key is inside and the cleaning crew will roll up soon. The health department wants to pay us a visit today and I also have to decorate for the children's birthday party for your little cousin later. Motoki? Motoki!"

Mamoru turned white as a sheet.

"Uhhh Mamoru!"

The doll didn't even think to stop moaning and - quite obviously this was another Special Effect - started panting loudly to top it all off.

"Motoki? What's the matter? Are you not feeling well? Why are you panting like that? Motoki?"

This was too much for Mamoru. He first shook his best friend violently and when that was completely without effect, he took the half-full water bottle from the table and poured out the remaining contents directly over Motoki's head. Fortunately, this had an effect. On both of them... because the doll was now silent and Motoki became loud

"Are you crazy? What are you doing?!"

"Motoki? Is there someone with you? Now open the door or I'll come in through the back entrance!"

Within fractions of a second, Motoki realized several things at once:

- he had clearly drunk too much, but unfortunately still too little to forget last night regarding the Real Doll

- this Real Doll was like a mattress to him at the moment and seemed frighteningly real as she opened her eyes lasciviously and looked at Motoki with a seductive, artificial smile. A little of his saliva still trailed a shiny thread of drool along her lips, already wet from the water

- his mother would be standing here any moment to find Motoki in flagrante delicto with an almost naked sex doll version of his little sister in an explicit pose

Motoki was screwed if he didn't think of something immediately. He needed an idea... and be it ever so stupid

"Yes mom, I'll open the door for you right now. I... I'm just getting dressed."

Half whispering, he hissed over to his best friend

"Give me your jacket!"

"What?"

"I said give me your jacket!"

Mamoru was completely flabbergasted as Motoki, without further hesitation, ripped his beloved green jacket off of him to throw it right over the artificial sex toy's face.

"Now sit on it and let me do the talking!"

Motoki gave his best friend another quick look and then hastily opened the door

"Finally Motok... what's going on here?"

Mrs. Furuhata looked aghast at the messie-like state she was in

"This place looks just like your home! Did you spend the night here and...? didn't you clean up last night?!"

The question was obviously superfluous and probably meant to be sarcastic, as Motoki's mother looked reproachfully at her son with a raised eyebrow, and then sighed loudly as he gave her a quick guilty nod

"Well, that doesn't change anything now. Come on, we have to hurry and clean up the biggest mess before the strong girls from the cleaning company swing their mops here. The man from the health department will be here in half an hour to inspect the new cooker hood, and I urgently need to get garlands for Tomoko's party. It looks so dreary otherwise. Or maybe you have something that will spice up a kid's party properly?"

"Uhhh... I might still have some balloons from Reika's birthday party in the staff room."

Ms. Furuhata had forgotten her request the next moment when her attention was drawn to Mamoru, who was sitting slightly impassively on something indefinable and didn't seem to be following the conversation. It was almost as if he was pretending not to be there at all

"Oh hello Mamoru, you're still here too. Did you have a good time yesterday, huh? I thought you went home with the other guys in the cab. Well, you don't get married every day. Probably had something to talk about with your best man, huh? What are you sitting here for? Why don't you make yourself useful and help me put the bottles away? And Motoki... nobody wants to see boring stuff like balloons at a birthday party anymore. Tomoko is a huge Sailor Moon fan. I have a lot of costumes and wigs in the car for the kids to dress up later. But an eye-catcher is still missing somehow."

At her words, Motoki's face brightened noticeably, while a plan began to grow in his mind

"Mom, don't worry about it. I've got a spiffy idea! Go ahead and get some more black and white cat garlands. Mamoru and I will clean up the mess here and then help you decorate. Wait, I'll just come with you to the car and carry the stuff in."

Before his mother could say anything back, Motoki had already buxom her out and while pushing her through the door, he turned to Mamoru and formed a soundless "Trust me" with his lips.

Less than two minutes later, Motoki stood in the doorway with two huge bags packed with glittery fabric and shiny synthetic hair sticking out of them, grinning broadly at his best friend.

"Phew that was really close. Come on, we don't have time and we need to hurry before the cleaners get here."

"What are you up to?!"

While Motoki searched through the bags, he muttered to himself

"Yeah what does it look like?"

Finally, he obviously found what he was looking for, grabbing out a blond wig with two braided pigtails fumbled together into two topknots at the top of its head, as well as a short blue and white sailor-style dress, and beaming as he presented his haul to Mamoru

"We're turning Randy Reika into Sailor Moon!"

"We are doing what?" Mamoru looked at him in complete bewilderment

"Now please get up off my clone sister and help me put her dress on."

Slowly Mamoru realized what Motoki was getting at

"You're not seriously telling me you're going to use this sex doll as a superhero DECORATIONFIGURE for your eight-year-old cousin's children's birthday party?"

"Yes, I am... And it's going to be an absolute hit! Tomoko loves Sailor Moon."

"B-but this... is...-"

"Genius I know... But please explain to me how else we're going to get the doll out of here? The box is completely destroyed, the cleaners are about to clean every inch of the Crown, and the health department inspector is coming too. So come on, hurry up and help me."

He had to hand it to Motoki. He'd always been quite practical. And the Sailor Moon costume actually fit pretty well, even if it was a little tight on the silicone chest

"Fortunately, the big red bow covers that huge bust, and with the wig, she doesn't look anything like Unazuki anymore, I think."

Visibly satisfied, Motoki looked at his work while Mamoru was busy in the background sweeping up the roughest dirt.

"Still, I think it's really... well, it's a kid's birthday Motoki."

"So what? It's a great idea, of course it would be nice if she could say something like-"

"Uhhhh ahhh... Mamoru!"

"H-has she just moaned your name?"

"Damn, how the hell do you turn that off?"

Panicked, the two men looked at each other as, to make matters worse, there was another knock on the front door.

"Try finding a button in the back or something, or better yet call Umino now, he obviously knows about dolls like this."

Motoki ran to the door to effusively greet the five hardworking ladies from the cleaning crew, who immediately went to work without another word when they saw the slightly unusual situation before them.

With a flushed head, Mamoru picked up the Unazuki Look alike doll dressed as Sailor Moon, who incidentally still wore the Randy Reika name pendant as a necklace, and wordlessly sat her down in a booth.

"Well, she's movable. Maybe she could still do a cool fighting pose or something."

"Motoki just shut up and better help me see if there's a power off button on that doll somewhere before she starts gasping and moaning uncontrollably again!"

"Yes yes yes OH YES!"

The cleaners all raised their heads in surprise when they heard this slightly out-of-place exclamation. Mamoru's face turned tomato red.

"You the button, I Umino." replied Motoki, already dialing the number.

Meanwhile, Mamoru sat down next to the real doll and began to feel for a switch on her body as inconspicuously as possible

"Umino, listen! You have to help us right away. How do you turn this doll off?"

Motoki whispered into the phone so as not to be heard by the cleaners, who were now busily cleaning the floor and tables. After a few moments, he obviously got an answer and looked expressionlessly at Mamoru, who was still sitting next to the doll and embarrassingly fumbling its silicon thigh in search of a button.

"Did you see a model number?"

"Where is it supposed to be?"

came back uncomprehendingly from Mamoru. Motoki spoke into his cell phone again and immediately got an answer that made him blush slightly

"Below the left nipple."

"Well great." Mamoru could hardly believe his "luck" and tried to let his hand slide unnoticed into the doll's neckline.

"Go, stand in front of it. They're already looking."

Even though he wasn't exactly small, Motoki could barely cover up this rather unusually filthy situation with his body that Mamoru was currently in

"Wait, I'll take a rag." with his free hand he fished for a microfiber cloth and held it spread wide in front of him, pretending to look critically at the cloth's level of dirt against the light

"U-5S:A/G-30.06I."

Motoki repeated the designation over the phone and, after a few moments of silence, widened his eyes

"What is it?" By now Mamoru had his hands back on him and was looking questioningly at Motoki. The latter answered his phone partner with a curt "thank you," and tonelessly explained to his best friend after hanging up

"The on/off switch is... In the private parts."

"Oh great. Well, at least no one can see me there." unprompted, Mamoru had already disappeared under the table and had positioned himself with his head between his gift's legs.

"There's nothing there!" he spoke dully from under the table.

Motoki bent down to him and answered him slightly annoyed

"Now don't be so timid, or she'll start moaning again. Just stick your finger in and move it around a bit and you'll find the right spot-"

"Mr. Furuhata?"

Startled, Motoki raised his head, but only got as far as the tabletop, whereupon a muffled cry escaped him

"Ow!!!"

Pained, he grabbed his head and turned to the owner of the dark voice

"Oh, you must be the gentleman from the health department."

"That's right. I've come for an inspection of your new cooker hood."

"Got it!"

Clearly Mamoru was far too focused on his task, and despite Motoki's exclamation, hadn't really noticed that someone was now standing next to Motoki, and now continued to speak triumphantly from under the table

"Was actually quite simple. You just have to stick it in deep enough, twist it three times, then it 'clicks' and she quiets down."

"Uhhh Mamoru... we have company."

Less than two seconds later, Mamoru had emerged from under the table and was staring with a flushed head at the man in front of him, who bowed genteelly in greeting and then spoke most dryly

"If I may give you a hint... it must 'click' twice... If it 'clicks' once, she only gets louder."

Stunnedness appeared on the faces of the two young men

"S-sorry???"

With a quick glance at the disguised sex doll, the inspector remarked

"After all, it's my job to check the technically flawless functionality of work equipment, even in... dodgy establishments."

"Uhhh... I see. But that's not really part of our equipment. We're having a birthday party here later and this is sort of a... uhh decoration?"

Motoki returned as an explanation. The man from the health department only raised an eyebrow and then said

"Yeah, if that's the case... have fun at your theme party. Can we get on with the cooker hood now then?"

"Of course!" Motoki accompanied the inspector to the kitchen, casting a helpless glance over his shoulder to Mamoru. While Motoki was in the kitchen, however, the door from the Crown opened again and Motoki's mother stood in the doorway once more, this time laden with all sorts of party stuff and a little girl next to her. Visibly pleased, she looked around until her eyes fell on Mamoru and his seatmate

"Mamoru? Is that-"

"Th-that's Motoki's, it's not mine!"

"Oh, she looks quite fantastic, just like Sailor Moon... Don't you think so, Tomoko?"

The little girl put on an enraged face, crossed her arms, and replied in a most bitchy tone

"I don't want that one! She doesn't look like Sailor Moon at all, she looks like Unazuki!"

Mrs. Furuhata couldn't look that fast as her son came marching out of the kitchen, blocking her field of view of the doll's face with his body together with Mamoru, and then laughing most artificially declared

"Oh nonsense, you're just imagining things, Tomoko. Children always have such a vivid imagination, ahahahaha! But if you want, Mamoru can bring her back to the... uhh... Doll Rental, okay?"

Motoki didn't even wait for his little cousin's answer anymore, but grabbed Mamoru's green jacket off the table with a spirited grip and threw it over the doll's face again.

"I'll just carry Sailor Moon to Mamorus car and then help you two decorate, okay?"

Tomoko's face brightened noticeably at his words

"Can Mamoru trade her in for a Sailor Mars? I think she's much cooler anyway."

"Anything you want, Tomoko!"

Motoki fluted back over his shoulder while urging a perplexed Mamoru, complete with disguised rubber doll, toward the back entrance

"Phew, we've solved that quite gallantly. Now we just have to get the doll- uhh, where's your car?"

Puzzled, Motoki looked around as they stood outside the Crown on the sidewalk

"I just got it in the shop, so I came by motorcycle yesterday."

It didn't take two seconds for Motoki to come up with a solution for that as well

"Get on, I'll tie the doll around you and get another helmet from the staff room. How good that you give the real Unazuki a lift to work every now and then."

Mamoru just didn't say anything anymore. How could he? The whole situation was just beyond wacky... and it got worse when his phone rang

"Oh my. Usagi's calling."

Hesitantly, Mamoru pressed the green handset button and spoke.

"Hello Usako."

"Oohhhh Mamo-Chan my love! How are you? Do you miss me?"

While Mamoru had his fiancée on the phone, Motoki unceremoniously implemented his previously conceived plan and just put the silicone arms from Fake Reika-Unazuki-Sailor Moon around his waist

"Oh you know, somehow I feel like you're with me right now."

"Ohhh, you are so cute my Mamo chan. I miss you sooooo much and I'm so excited when we finally get married. Enjoy the last few days, you have fortunately already off... and Motoki and you, you have a lot of fun together again, yes? I love you so much my Mamomomomomo!"

With a big sigh, Mamoru looked at his phone after Usagi hung up amidst a thousand kisses

"There, you won't be getting rid of her anytime soon. I used duct tape and zip ties. Works perfectly! Wait, I'll give you another knife, then you can saber yourself free when you arrive in the underground garage."

Beaming with delight, Motoki held out a Swiss Army knife to his best friend.

"As soon as I'm done here, I'll come over to your place and then we'll figure out our next course of action."

Mamoru still looked at him very skeptically, but finally flipped his visor down, took a quick look at the doll behind him, who could actually have passed perfectly as his fiancée with the helmet on her head and the two blond braids sticking out from underneath, and finally turned on his bike.

With squealing tires, he roared along with his new real doll through the busy streets of Tokyo to his apartment. Somehow - especially with a now stone-cold sober head - Mamoru had the queasy feeling that it would still be quite difficult to get rid of his gift.

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