A while later, the RV had stopped outside of a hotel called the Red Rash Inn; naturally, the vehicle was disguised with a different paint job to hide from the EPA. Marge ducked and dodged past a helicopter's searchlight by hiding behind a vending machine. As the copter flew off, Marge sighed in relief. However, before she could fully relax, a police cruiser pulled up and the headlights shined right on her. Marge gasped and she backed up against the wall, dropping her supplies out of fright and soon, two stern looking cops came out of the cruiser. However, they didn't even seem to see her and held onto each other, more interested in each other than her and they fell into a room together. Marge blinked at that, but was also relieved that she didn't get caught before she went to go into the room where the children were as Lisa was tucking Maggie into a dresser drawer to sleep in while Bart began to look a little slurry.

Marge then drew the shades closed before she looked over at her son. "Bart, are you drinking whiskey?" she asked firmly.

"I'm troubled." Bart replied.

"Bart." Marge glared.

"I promise, I'll stop tomorrow." Bart said as he hugged the tiny bottle.

"You'll stop right now! You come back here, little man." Marge glared as she soon chased Bart around the motel room as he guzzled the whiskey down from the tiny bottle.

Bart then landed on the floor and finished up the whiskey, looking woozy and tipsy. "I miss Flanders. There, I said it!" he then slurred out, angrily and sluggishly.

"Children can be so impressionable sometimes..." Zofia commented as she was reading a book called "Diary of a Worn-Out Mother by Susan Heffley".

"Like you wouldn't believe." LJ shrugged as he went back to his graphic novels.

"Where's your father?" asked Marge.

"He went out," replied Lisa. "Quick, let's rebuild the shattered remnants of our lives while he's gone!"

"Hey, guys?" asked Homer, from outside the door. "...What's the secret knock again?"

LJ, Zofia, and even David face-palmed at that.

The door soon opened and Homer was faced with the disapproved scowls of the girls in his family. "Look, I know I screwed up. This is big." he soon said to them.

"It's huge! We're homeless! Our friends wanna kill us! The only people we can trust anymore nowadays are the Schwartz family!" Marge glared sternly. "Before we can even stay in the same room with you I need to know what was going through your mind when you didn't listen to me and dumped that silo in the lake."

Homer leaned against the door before he shrugged innocently with a smile to show that he didn't know.

"HOMER!" Marge hissed sternly.

"I don't know what to tell you, Marge. I don't think about things," Homer defended. "I respect people who do but I just try to make the days not hurt until I get to crawl in next to you again."

"Oh..." Marge smiled sweetly until she saw her daughters glaring at her. "I mean, oh." she then corrected herself in a stern tone of voice.

"Look, I'm really sorry, but I'm more than just sorry I'm prepared with a solution," Homer soon continued. "I've always been afraid I'd screw up our lives so badly we'd need a backup plan. And that plan is right here! No. Nope. Ta-da!" he then said before taking out his wallet and discarding random items inside, such as a "Get out of Jail Free" card and a photograph of Michael Jordan scoring a slam-dunk, but replaced Michael's head with his own, and then took out a tiny, crumpled, sheet of paper before unfolding it until it was poster-sized. "Bear with me..." he then murmured as he continued to unfold and spread out the map against the wall. "Ta-da!"

"Alaska?" Lisa asked.

"Not just any Alaska! Homer, Alaska! I think I'd fit in right there," Homer clarified as he explained why he wanted to go there. "Alaska. A place where you can't be too fat or too drunk. Where no one says things like: Let's see your high school equivalency certificate." he then added.

"So we're gonna move to Alaska?" Lionel asked.

"That idea sucks." Bart retorted, inebriated.

"I don't know, Homie." Marge said, a bit concerned.

"I'm not saying it right. Look, the thing is, I can't start a new life alone," Homer said hopefully. "And I've really come to like you guys."

"I just don't see it." Marge shook her head as she turned her back at him, sulking a little.

"Marge, in every marriage, you get one chance to say: I need you to do this with me. And there's only one answer when somebody says that." Homer then tried to say before he held out his hand to her.

Marge looked softly back at her husband before she decided to take his hand. "Okay, Homie, I'm with you." she then said.

"Thank you, my sweetheart." Homer smiled before Marge smiled back at him.

"Mom?" Bart soon called.

"Yes, honey?" Marge answered, still smiling at Homer.

"You just bought another load of crap from the world's fattest fertilizer salesman." Bart soon said thickly.

"You'll pay for ruining this golden family moment!" Homer glared darkly at their son.

"Homer!" Marge scolded before anything else could happen.

"So, uh, what do you guys say too?" Homer then asked the Schwartz family since they were involved.

"Well, I suppose a visit to Alaska isn't on my adventure bucket list, but maybe I can make an exception." Cherry shrugged before she took out a postcard of the frozen winter wonderland state that had a family on it with a single father and his children and the text read: "Greetings from The Great North".

"How are we s'posed to get to Alaska without any MONEY?" asked Bart.

"Son, if you don't believe in me, then believe in America," Homer said as he pulled the curtains open, revealing a bunch of billboards. "Where any man can make quick money with no questions asked."

"Well, this should be good for a few laughs." Cherry shrugged.

"Might as well see where it goes." Lionel nodded.


Soon, the next day came, and both families were visiting the local amusement park.

"Step right up and win my truck!" A Tivoli man called out as he stood beside a metal ball. "All you have to do is conquer the Ball of Death."

"What's the catch?" Homer asked.

"No catch. Just ride the motorcycle all the way around just one time. Three tries for $10." The man replied before he gestured to both the sphere and vehicle behind him.

"Marge, how much money do we have?" Homer asked his wife urgently.

"$10." Marge simply stated.

"Whoo-hoo!" Homer cheered as he headed right for the motorcycle.

"That's okay, Mr. Simpson!" Cherry called out.

"Don't judge me, Judgy McJudgyPerson!" Homer told her before he suddenly fell over on the motorcycle.

"That counts as a try." The man murmured to him.

"This can only end so well." Zofia soon face-palmed as she spoke very similarly to her mother.

"Hon?" Lionel asked as he leaned over to Cherry. "I don't wanna 'pull an Atticus'... So is it okay if I give Homer a little magical assistance?"

"You might as well try a little bit of something." Cherry replied to Lionel before wincing slightly, but not at him of course.

Homer grunted and groaned as he ended up falling before he could go around the circle fully.

"That's two." The man soon told Homer as he got back up, about to try his third and final attempt.

Lionel nodded. "Alrighty then..." he said, wriggling his fingers. "Ippity, pippity, POW!" he whispered, sticking his fingers out and sending a jet of magical power into the motorcycle's tailpipe. It shone briefly, but then returned to looking normal.

"Dad! When you get to the top, don't slow down, speed up!" Lisa soon instructed her father.

"But that's when it's the scariest!" Homer replied out of fright.

"Just do it!" Zofia urged.

Homer soon took on as much courage as he could as he gripped the motorcycle's handlebars, unaware of the magic that was added in as he went to take another try to spin around The Ball of Death in front of the crowd. He looked nervously at the top of the cage before throttling forward, taking Lisa and Zofia's advice as he neared the top and inched toward the top as everyone else leaned in with heavy suspense. He then revved the throttle and made it, spinning perfect circles around the cage as everyone else then cheered him on as he was finally successful in the stunt.

"Yes!" Bart cheered.

"Yay, Dad!" Lisa added.

"Way to go!" LJ called as he applauded.

"Oh, man," groaned the man. "My wives are gonna kill me!"

Standing nearby were a pair of conjoined twin Asian women, both of them angrily brandishing rolling pins.

"Next stop, Alaska!" Homer proclaimed as they rode away in the truck.

The Schwartz family RV then followed after them as the Tivoli man was going to be left with his hands full and not in a fun way.


Meanwhile, at a snowy truck stop/gas station, Homer was gassing up the truck while eating a hot dog as the kids stretched their legs until Maggie fell on her stomach due to being a baby with improper balance. Bart then bought a Buzz cola while Cherry beamed, hugging a box of Zebra Cakes before she decided to buy them for the road.

"I'm very proud of you, Bart. Over 24 hours sober," Marge smiled warmly at her son before she gave him a sly eye. "You are, aren't you?"

"I'll prove it." Bart said before he brought out his slingshot and soon flung a projectile at Homer, causing him to lose his hot dog before he took out another hot dog from his pocket and continued to eat as though nothing happened.

"Well, I guess that's one way to prove innocence." Cherry snarked.

"Good shot, man," LJ congratulated him. "I'm proud of ya."

"Thanks." Bart smirked.

"Oh... There's Bugles too..." Cherry said as she looked over at one shelf. "Does anyone else want Bugles?" she then asked.

"Sure," Lionel shrugged as he took out a couple of dollars and handed them to Cherry. "There's my contribution for those."

"Thank you, dear." Cherry replied, taking the money as she went to get one last snack item for the road.

Lionel nodded as they were just about to leave.

"Hey... Where are all the Bugles?" Cherry glared once she saw the shelf was suddenly empty in a matter of seconds after her back was turned.

"Hey, Lois! Look! I'm Hugh Jackman!" A man's voice was heard before he was laughing in an annoying fashion, using Bugles on his fingertips to look like Wolverine's claws as he tried to entertain his family and made random references to 80s pop culture.

Cherry narrowed her eyes as she looked annoyed at the family who was also at the gas station before she decided to snap a picture of them. "I'm gonna bust you idiots one day..." she then grumbled.

"We're giving your father another chance, and we owe it to him to-" Marge began to tell Bart before gasping at something she had just seen. "Oh, my God."

The cashier soon walked over, passing by the wanted poster that had the Simpsons family on it. "Can I help you?" he then asked in a friendly voice.

"Um... We need diapers." Marge soon said.

"Okay." The cashier said, about to get them as they were close to the wanted poster.

"No. No, we don't. We don't!" Marge covered up quickly. "Ladies' razorblades."

"Right." The cashier then said, about to get those since they were close to the wanted poster too.

"No! No. No, we don't. I forgot, we're European," Marge covered up again before laughing nervously until she saw something closer. "Just give us beef jerky. Lots and lots of beef jerky. That's right. That's what we need. That's all we came in for."

"Sure." The cashier nodded, going to give her the beef jerky as it was on the front counter.

Bart looked like he wanted to cause some sort of mischief without getting drunk, but didn't know what to do.

"Here... Make your family look like this." Cherry whispered to Bart, allowing him to borrow her phone.

Bart took her phone before he chuckled and started to draw his family differently, following the picture on Cherry's phone as closely as he could get.

"Oh, my God. There they are!" The cashier gasped, seeing another family in the gas station that matched his wanted poster.

The other family was shown: the fat man who took the Bugles that Cherry wanted, his pointy-nosed redheaded wife, their equally fat if not fatter son, their embarrassed and annoyed looking teenage daughter dressed in pink and blue with brown hair, and their baby who had a football-shaped head similar to Arnold Shortman wearing red and yellow overalls.


SHORTLY AFTERWARDS...

The family was being handcuffed and moved into a police car. Zofia felt a little bad for the daughter, so she made the cuffs a couple sizes too big for her to let her slip out.

"This is even worse than the time I-" The fat guy began, before the cop slammed his head on the roof.

"Cram it, fatty!" The cop snapped.

The daughter noticed her cuffs were free and she soon took off while she still could as the rest of her family wasn't as lucky.

Bart laughed as he soon rode off with his family and the Schwartz family and Cherry decided to reward him with some comic book money.


After quite a while of driving, it looked like it was going to take forever for the families to make it to Alaska. They were currently on a mountain of snow and sleet, driving by an oil company.

"What? This isn't the way I pictured Alaska at all!" Homer complained before he decided to put his poster up on the windshield for a better looking image of the snowy state. "Oh, that's better."

"Homer!" Marge glared as she pulled the poster away to reveal that their truck was careening out of control and dropped down, breaking through a guard rail and they landed on the road below.

While the family survived, they still felt rather annoyed by what Homer just did to them.

"Well, at least my poster didn't get torn." Homer told his family before he tried to peel at the poster, but it was actually the majestic looking snowy landscape just like in the poster which told them all one thing: they finally made it into Alaska.

Soon after, the group arrived at the customs station.

"Welcome to Alaska," said the man inside as he gave them a few sealed envelopes. "Here's $1,000 each!"

"Well, it's about time!" Homer grinned as he accepted the envelopes, while Lionel and Cherry took theirs. "...But why?"

"We pay every resident $1,000 to allow oil companies to ravage our state's natural beauty." explained the customs man.

"Is that true?" Cherry wondered.

"You'd better believe it." The customs man smiled and nodded in response.

"I'm home!" Homer gushed as he soon hugged the customs man out of thanks before riding away in the truck.

"Oh, thanks." The customs man smiled before he wave his hat goodbye as the two families soon continued their journey into The Great North.

There was soon suddenly orchestra music swelling that began to sound like an opening theme song.

"Look up there~" Cherry started to sing.

"What do you see?~" Lionel asked her.

"Nature and stuff~" LJ and Zofia sang together.

"Like a rock~" Zofia sang.

"And a tree~" David sang, though it sounded like baby talk to everybody else.

"Oh, The Great North!~" The Schwartz family sang together.

"Way up here, you can breathe the air~" Lionel sang.

"Catch some fish~" The kids sang together.

"Or gaze at a bear~" LJ sang.

"Wow! Oh, the Great North!~" The family sang together.

"Here we live~" Zofia sang.

"Oh, oh!~" They all said together.

"Here we'll stay~" Lionel sang.

"Oh, whoo! From longest night to longest day~," The family continued as they got settled into Alaska together. "In the Great North!~"

"...Okay, wow." LJ blinked in surprise. "How did we just do that?"

"You know... I'm not quite sure, really," Zofia responded. "I suppose we were caught up in the wonder of Alaskan wilderness."

"No matter," Cherry shrugged. "Let's get settled with the Simpsons, shall we?" she then suggested as kindly as she could muster.

"Alrighty then," Lionel nodded in agreement. "I'm game if the rest of us are!"

The kids eagerly and happily agreed.

"All right, guys. Come on out." Cherry told the kids.

"It's cold here." Zofia commented.

"You'll be fine," Cherry soothed as best as she could. "Besides, it's not as cold as South Park. I hear those kids wear their coats and hats indoors at their school."

"Great," Bart grumbled as he climbed out. "I get to turn 11 in this frozen wasteland."

"Now, now, I think you should make the most of it," Cherry suggested. "It could always be worse, kid."

"Yeah... I could freeze to death before I hit puberty." Bart rolled his eyes.

"At least you're safe from the town who wants you all dead because of that terrible mistake your dad made." Cherry told him.

"...Hey, you're right!" Bart realized. "This is his fault! Him and that walking bacon plate!"

"That is not what I was going for..." Cherry rolled her eyes.

"Excuse me, I need to plot revenge against my dad." Bart said before taking off.

"Hmph... Bart Simpson... More like Brat Simpson..." Cherry grumbled to herself.

"Whoa, sounds like an anagram," said Lionel as he tunneled through the snow like a gopher. "In hindsight, that makes a lot of sense..."

"Yes, I suppose it does... Heh... Glad someone else heard that joke," Cherry smirked to herself until she looked down into the snow. "...What are you doing down there?" she then asked.

"Tunnelin'~" Lionel replied casually. "Not much else I know of that we can do here."

"Hm..." Cherry shrugged at that.


Soon, everybody wore more warm clothes as they got adjusted to the cold weather of Alaska. Bart began to look a little sneaky once he saw his father collecting firewood from below the hill he stood on while Maggie made snow angels while David sat with his brother and sister.

"What are you doing, Bart?" Zofia asked warily.

"Just passing the time." Bart shrugged before he clapped loudly, causing some snow to pass through Homer until he clapped more to trigger more snow and cause an avalanche.

Soon, Homer was partially buried in the snow until he looked up to see what Bart was doing. "My boy loves Alaska so much, he's applauding it," he smiled warmly until he saw that Lisa wasn't participating in the applause. "Lisa, why aren't you clapping?"

"But, Dad-" Lisa tried to warn.

"Clap for Alaska!" Homer firmly told his eldest daughter.

Lisa soon clapped along with Bart and soon, there was more snow that avalanched over Homer and it soon sent him straight to their new home where Marge was inside, wearing a scarf.

"Well, Marge, we're separated from the kids and our new friends by a wall of snow. All my dreams are coming true~" Homer smirked warmly at his wife had knitted something new that read "Nome Sweet Nome".

Soon, the two were about to have a Disney-like sex scene together, so we'll go back to the kids outside.

"Hey... You're new faces." A boy in a bear costume said to LJ, Zofia, David, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie.

"Yeah," LJ nodded. "I'm LJ, that's my sister Zofia, my baby brother David, and these are our pals Bart, Lisa, and Maggie."

"Sup?" Bart replied as Lisa waved while Maggie just sucked on her pacifier as a greeting.

"Oh... Okay..." The bear kid replied.

"Who are you?" Zofia asked.

"My name's Moon." The bear kid said.

"Moon?" Bart asked. "What kinda name is Moon?"

"Eh, I dunno... The same kind for a kid with Ham and Wolf for brothers and a sister named Judy?" Moon shrugged in defense.

"I've heard weirder names," shrugged LJ. "So whaddya do for fun around here?"

"Well, there's hanging out in the snow, playing in the snow, making stuff out of snow..." Moon began to list.

"Oh, yeah?" Bart rolled his eyes. "Sounds real thrilling."

"The most exciting thing I've seen though was probably Polar Night." Moon then said.

"What's Polar Night?" asked Zofia, curious.

"Polar Night is the one night in Alaska when it's dark outside for 24 hours straight with no sunlight at all." Moon informed.

"Whoa..." Bart grinned. "Imagine how much mischief you could do in THAT sorta time!"

"Oh, boy..." Lisa rolled her eyes a little.

"Don't be a wet blanket." Bart told his sister.

"Either way, I think you should keep busy for a while," Zofia advised. "Your parents are in their own Disney movie and it's not like the ones we grew up with, it's more like the ones that Princess Clara from Drawn Together would be apart of."

"Ohhh, I gotcha." LJ nodded casually.

"That's a new one." commented Lisa, a bit confused.

"Let's just say we shouldn't bother your parents for a while." LJ suggested to Bart and Lisa.

"Hm... All right then..." Lisa said with a shrug as her mind was clearly elsewhere.

"What else can we do then?" Moon asked his potential new friends.

"What I usually like to do is prank call Moe's Tavern," Bart said before smirking. "I guess I could prank call the bar around here."

"Sure, if you wanna," shrugged LJ as he picked David up. "Let's go find somewhere to sit while you call."

"You guys wanna come over to my house?" Moon offered. "You don't have to if you don't wanna."

"I suppose," Zofia replied. "It's better than standing out here in the cold."

"Mm-hmm..." Lisa nodded, though she was clearly upset about something else.

"All right. Come on then!" Moon said as he led the way back to where he lived with his family.

"Lisa?" Zofia called gently.

"...I'm cold." Lisa told the other girl.

"You're upset about Colin, aren't you?" Zofia guessed.

"I just left him behind in Springfield, Zofia!" Lisa cried out. "He'll probably never wanna talk to me ever again!"

"You didn't have a choice," Zofia replied. "In case you forgot, you and your family were being hunted by an angry mob."

"It's not fair though!" Lisa cried out.

"I'm just being honest." Zofia shrugged.

Lisa soon broke down and began to cry a little before her tears became icicles.

"...Come on. Let's go." Zofia said before she took Lisa's hand and began to walk with her and the others off to Moon's house to hang out for the time being.


Soon after, they arrived at Moon's house and came indoors.

"Make yourselves at home." Moon told the group behind him.

"Thanks, we'll try." Bart said before he looked around for the telephone around her.

"Though I'm not sure how you can pull a prank over the phone." Moon then said to Bart curiously.

"Just watch." Bart said as he began dialing the phone.

"Hello, this is Eski-Moe's Tavern." said the bartender on the other end.

"Yes, I'm looking for a Mr. Weiner, his initials are also I.C." Bart soon said with an impish smirk.

"Okay, hang on..." The bartender said before calling out in the bar "Icy Weiner! Icy Weiner! Has anyone seen an Icy Weiner today?"

Bart then started to laugh at his own joke while Moon began to look concerned as this didn't seem to be as funny as it was back home. Surprisingly, nobody laughed.

"You insensitive little brat," snarled Eski-Moe. "You think our plight is something to be laughed at?! To be MOCKED?!"

"Uh..." Bart blinked.

"I oughta come over there and rip out your throat and turn your whole body inside out!" Eski-Moe continued to rant. "I bet you club baby seals too, don't ya? Huh?! Why don't I track you down and turn you into dog meat and feed you to the-"

Bart then quickly hung up and looked nervous. "...This isn't as much fun as I remember." he then murmured.

"Well... I guess we haven't been banned from Alaska yet like when we visited Australia or that time with Aunt Selma in China..." Lisa rolled her eyes.

"How many places have you been banned from?" asked LJ.

"It would take less time to list the places we aren't banned from." responded Lisa.

"I suppose part of that is my fault." Bart shrugged.

"Part of it?" Lisa narrowed her eyes.

"Okay, it's your fault too," Bart shrugged. "Even though it's mostly Dad's fault you'll probably never see that Irish kid again."

"...Yeah, that's is Dad's fault, and I guess I shouldn't get too mad at y-" Lisa said softly.

"Lisa's got a boyfriend, That she'll never see again~" Bart then teased in a singsong voice, unable to help it.

"You die now..." Lisa narrowed her eyes before she began to take off her pearl necklace to strangle her brother.

"You walked into that one, man." LJ shrugged as Lisa wrung Bart's neck with her pearls.

Bart gasped and choked a bit.

"This family seems to be a disaster." Moon commented.

"They once told me about a family therapy session when they all got mad at each other after Mr. Simspon said they would be going for chocolate frosted milkshakes." Zofia shrugged.

"I see..." Moon said before nodding. "Well, my family and I have our differences, but we're often there for each other."

"Well, that's at least commendable," admitted LJ. "Besides, looking out for your family is a part of growing up."

"I never thought about it like that before, but thanks." Moon replied.

"No problem, Moon." LJ smiled as Zofia also smiled.

Bart and Lisa were still going at each other, however, and it seemed like it was going to be that way for a while.