4 weeks until the season 5 premiere... wow, time sure does fly. Well, this little tale wanted out, and I hope you can indulge this fantasy of mine.
He just had to get out of LA for a little while. Clearing his mind and figuring out if he could live with the demotion and stay on the force.
But wouldn't quitting give them exactly what they wanted? Wouldn't that look like he gave up? What was even important anymore?
Now sitting here in a small town in rural Mexico as a black man in a bar, he felt almost as lonely as he had been feeling in LA. He knew his teammates and friends all had different other personal struggles or adventures, and he was, no is proud of each one of them. They all were well on their way to figuring things out for themselves, and that is what he should be doing here too.
Hondo motions for the barkeep to bring him another beer. The irony on the label plain as day. But it goes to show you can overcome anything—even the worst help in advertising by being named after a global pandemic.
Somewhere in this joint must be a jukebox because, in irregular intervals, one or the other song starts playing sometimes, even a few couples are swaying on the makeshift dancefloor. Hondo leans onto the counter again, caught in the endless circles his thoughts are running in. He has recognized that drowning his anger and frustration in alcohol doesn't work early on in his life, but tonight he actually feels like finding the bottom of a bottomless drink.
Instead, Hondo shakes his head and downs the rest of his beer. Wallowing in a bar won't help him, and so he pushes off the bar and is about to slide off the stool when the barkeep places a shot glass in front of him.
"I didn't..." Hondo tries to decline, but the man's eyes flick to the side, and when Hondo turns, the stool next to him is occupied by an unexpected but familiar person.
"You looked like you could need one," Jessica Cortez smiles at him while propping her head up with her arm.
"You're a sight for sore eyes," leaves his lips before he tugs her into a hug. The rush of familiarity keeps Hondo in the present but also brings back the thoughts of LA and what he lost full force. Leading to a small awkward moment until he realizes Jess is not walking away from him but leading him to a table. "I thought we might could talk. Catch up, or you tell me what has you sitting depressed in a bar in Mexico."
God, how had he missed her voice and that smile.
He puts on his best smile and replies, "Vacation, I guess," as he slides into his seat right next to her. Hondo sees her eyebrows twitch a little, and he expects Jess to call him on that statement, but she simply smiles one of her soft and caring smiles and nods her head. "Wonders never cease," there is a little tease behind her words, and Hondo knows why.
"I took a trip to Australia after the courthouse explosion, which…." "I would know if I had stayed." Jessica interrupts him a little sad and with what Hondo would swear was regret in her voice.
He reaches across the table to cover her hand with his. "You did what you had to do." After a beat of silence, just enjoying the feel of his fingers on hers, he adds, "So how are you doing? With everything. Why are you here, alone?"
"Vacation, I guess," is her reply, and Hondo has to chuckle. "Touché,"
Afterward, they have switched to lighter topics, and Jess had told him a little bit about her new work life with the FBI, no less.
Their night grew long, and the tequila never stopped.
Remembering his manners, Hondo insisted on walking her home. And when they reached her door, Jessica sends him a coy smile that is just inviting enough.
Hondo reaches for her hand and tangles their fingers carefully before tugging Jess close and softly nibbling on her lips. The sigh escaping her is the only encouragement he needs to let his free hand trace the shape of her body from her shoulders to her hips and back while pressing her against the door to her room.
The next morning Hondo wakes up in an unfamiliar room and needs a second to remember where he is. A smile draws upon his face when he feels Jess turn into his side and rest her head against his shoulder.
His arm moves to traces shapes on her shoulder blade and arm until their fingers are resting intertwined on his chest. They share a comfortable silence and enjoy the others' company, but Hondo still feels Jessica's probing glances every now and then.
He closes his eyes again and loses himself in his memories of them.
Hondo gets pulled back to the present when he feels Jessica's fingers feather over his forearm and then lightly trace out the shape of the eagle. And just something in her eyes makes him realize she knows.
"How?" is the only thing he can utter.
"The better question is what are you going to do about it. Remember what you told me when you finally got this?" her voice is steady and probing, and Hondo closes his eyes, remembering. He had held off on it when he felt it was all a publicity stunt, but when the time had passed, and he had settled into his job. It had felt right. The eagle represented not only SWAT but freedom. His freedom. Even if he was forever stuck between the lines, not a part of the culture he grew up in as the black community is always wary of cops and other law enforcement agencies and also not a part of the blue brotherhood. Just like he had said to Deacon, "Its easy to turn on a black cop…".
Hondo sits up in a rush and squares his shoulders. "I am going to get it back and fight for the necessary changes as long as I have to. My voice will be heard."
Soft lips connecting with his cheek is the final confirmation he needs. They hadn't uttered a word about what the future holds in terms of them, but this kiss meant everything to him—her support and understanding.
