Grumpy found that he had a strong desire to be around Funshine now that the yellow bear knew that he was a Thunder Bear. He was calmer around Funshine, even if he did nothing more than sit quietly while Funshine worked on the ATV or played around on his bouncing buoys. He knew that Funshine would stop and listen if he asked him to. It was actually a relief to have somebody to confide in.
After Wonderheart's birthday party, a wild, exciting affair with plenty of good food and fun games, Grumpy walked back to Funshine's place, feeling strangely empty. His thoughts were grim. He loved Wonderheart but seeing how the whole community rallied around the cub to encourage her made him think of the dark days of his own cubhood. He brooded all the way to the shoreline, trying not to think of the terrible things that had happened but unable to banish the thoughts from his mind.
Funshine said nothing, but he kept his eyes on Grumpy. The blue bear seemed unaware that his belly badge was darker than usual. In fact, his fur looked dusky, too. He watched as Grumpy lay down in a hammock, his eyes blank and looking at nothing. Funshine decided to wax his surfboard a couple of yards away. It would keep him near Grumpy, but it would also give the illusion that he was alone so he wouldn't grumble about Funshine being overprotective.
After almost an hour, the sunlight was suddenly obscured. Funshine looked up in surprise as a chilled wind rushed across the surface of the water, churning the waves. He looked over at Grumpy, and he set aside his wax. Grumpy's fur was definitely darker, his wide-open eyes were glowing blue with yellow-white in the center of his pupils, and the cloud on his belly badge was black and angry. Funshine walked over and tugged a stool over beside him.
"You okay, Grumps?"
Grumpy shrugged one shoulder, letting out a sigh like the breeze on an overcast day.
"Going to have to speak English, my bear. Don't know nearly enough Thunderspeak." In fact, Funshine was having a lot of trouble wrapping his mind around the strange language. It baffled him to think that Care Bears used to learn the language as cubs and would naturally speak it. Grumpy assured him that once he got the basic noises down, it would go much easier.
Grumpy turned his head to look at Funshine then seemed to take in the change of weather. He grimaced and cleared his throat.
"I guess it's obvious I'm not okay," he said, his voice hoarse.
"Little bit," Funshine said. "Want to talk about it?"
"Not really," Grumpy rasped, looking back up at the thatched roof.
Funshine nodded, but he didn't move. Grumpy glanced at him then rumbled like thunder, looking out at the crashing waves.
"Everybody really loves Wonderheart," he said wistfully.
"Yeah. Including you."
"Yeah. Makes me wish that I'd been a Care Bear cub instead of what I am."
Funshine forced himself to stay relaxed. "Really?"
"Yeah. Rough place to grow up. Anger, bitterness, self-hatred, hatred toward Care Bears, trauma, and other stuff. Really not pleasant."
"Other stuff?" Funshine asked, not really expecting an answer.
"My parents tried to kill me because I reminded them of Care Bears."
Funshine nearly fell backward off of his stool. "What?!"
Grumpy didn't seem to register the shock. He just kept talking in a soft, distant tone, his voice gruff. "Yeah. I'm smaller than I'm supposed to be as a Thunder Bear. I'm the perfect size for a Care Bear, but to them, I'm just a runt. Not just smaller than average, but a runt. And they weren't fond of remembering the Care Bears were to blame for their situation. When it was clear that I wasn't going to suddenly grow into a normal-sized cub, they took out their tempers on me. First time they ever produced a storm. That's how much they hated me. They nearly killed me with the lightning. Then they left me to suffer with burns."
Funshine didn't know how to respond, so he said nothing, his heart pounding in his chest as his stomach churned. He'd never thought of something like that being the source of Grumpy's panic attacks and flashbacks. All of his guesses were tame in comparison.
After a long pause, Grumpy continued. "My older brother found me. There was a lot of hostility toward me among the Care Bear haters, and he knew it would only get worse for me as I grew older, so he took care of me away from the others until my burns were healed. Then he brought me to Care-A-Lot late at night and left me here. When I asked why, he said that the Care Bears would take better care of me than the rest of our community ever would. Then he left. He had no choice, really. Had to get back home. I understand his reasoning, and it turned out to be true, as far as me being healthier than I would have been otherwise, but I still miss him. He was one of the few that seemed relatively well-adjusted in our community."
"Oh, Grumpy," Funshine murmured sadly. He reached out and grasped his paw. "I'm sorry all that happened to you."
Grumpy nodded sadly, turning his glowing eyes to meet Funshine's.
"It's in the past. I just wish it would stay there."
Funshine nodded. Grumpy smiled and relaxed into the hammock.
"Mind if I rest for a while?" he asked.
"Sure, Grumps. Go on and take a nap."
Grumpy turned onto his side and sighed out a long breath, the pitter-patter of a soft spring rain at the end of the exhale. As Grumpy relaxed, the winds died down and sunlight broke through the clouds. Funshine watched as the waves began to slow and settle into their usual rhythm, and he thought about what Grumpy had said. Funshine could tell by the change in the weather that talking about it had helped calm him down, but he didn't understand how. Still, the storm that had been building was being swept away on a gentle breeze.
As Funshine watched Grumpy sleep, he saw his fur losing the black edge, and his belly badge settled into his normal blue cloud. The lightning bolts changed back to red hearts and the raindrops took on their normal color. Within ten minutes, all signs that Grumpy wasn't a Care Bear were gone. It was amazing how well the camouflage worked, he thought. If he hadn't known better, he never would have guessed that the bear in front of him wasn't a Care Bear by birth. But what had granted him the ability to blend in seamlessly with Care Bears? Even his storm powers had never been questioned, written off as his belly badge power. And then there was the fact that Grumpy even had a belly badge.
Funshine hummed and got up after a few minutes, feeling anxious to get started doing something, anything to help Grumpy. He eventually settled on going to talk to Tenderheart about Benefare's journal. He wrote a note for Grumpy, pulled out some food from the Carry-All—Funshine knew that Grumpy would wake up hungry, if not ravenous, from the unconscious show of his storm powers—then headed for the nearest Rainbow Ride. On the way to Tenderheart's house, he considered the best way to bring up Benefare's journal. He finally decided to segue in by talking about their misadventure with Beastly and the Beasties and Benefare's ghost.
When the Rainbow Ride pulled up, he unbuckled and strode into the yard. Tenderheart was busy with martial arts poses, and Funshine joined him without a word. He did that so often that the older bear didn't even miss a beat. He simply explained which stances they were doing before focusing on the workout again. The physical act of working out eased Funshine's tension and helped him release some of the aggression he felt about Grumpy's traumatic experiences. When they were done half an hour later, they sat down on the bench and gulped from a water bottle.
"What brings you out here, Funshine?" Tenderheart asked pleasantly.
"Just been thinking about that whole situation with Beastly," Funshine said.
"You'll have to clarify," Tenderheart said with a chuckle.
Funshine laughed. "Good point, T.H. Just the whole Benefare thing."
"Oh yes. That was quite the adventure."
"Got me thinking about Benefare, honestly," Funshine said. Then an idea came to him, so he added, "About how our stories about him aren't so good."
Tenderheart sighed. "Yes. He's been gone a long, long time. Time gives rumors a chance to spread and grow. And so most Care Bears have gone from loving the Good Bear to thinking of him as a Scare Bear. It's horrible."
"Is that why you want to find his journal? To set everything straight?"
"That's one reason, yes. It would help to dispel many rumors."
"Do you know anything about where it could be?"
Tenderheart shook his head sadly. "Unfortunately, not much. There's not much to go on. Care-A-Lot may be his secret, but I think he had others."
Funshine hesitated. "Do you think he knew more about Thunder Bears than we do?" he probed softly.
There was a pause, then Tenderheart appeared to switch topics abruptly. "You know, Wonderheart mentioned that you all had a conversation about Thunder Bears. I wasn't there, but what she said interests me."
"Which part?" Funshine asked, feigning ease.
"To think about how they see the world."
Tenderheart sounded thoughtful instead of angry or scared, so Funshine pushed a little.
"Never thought of it that way, right?"
"No. I haven't. She told me what Grumpy said about anger and reasons, and I have to admit he has a point. I don't understand their reasons, but, then again…"
"You don't have their side of the story," Funshine finished. Then he added in his head, 'And that's why we need the journal.'
"I wish I could speak with one. Find out their perspective."
"Maybe one day you will," Funshine said. 'You have the chance now. If only Grumpy would let me tell you,' he thought desperately.
"Well, perhaps. I'm not so sure. Whenever they come here, all they seem to do is cause destruction. And the storms have me worried that they'll come again. If they do, maybe…"
He trailed off then sighed. Funshine could see how much Tenderheart wanted to understand. But then again, that was in his nature. He had a tender heart, a love for all those around him. And Funshine wished he could tell him about Grumpy, about what he was, about his story and panic attacks and flashbacks, about the way he feared that Tenderheart and the others would despise him just because of what he was. But Funshine had promised Grumpy that he wouldn't tell until after they had found the journal.
"So there's no clues as to where the journal is?" Funshine asked.
"The only clue is that it's somewhere in his secret. And that's all of Care-A-Lot."
Funshine stood up. "Well, thanks for the workout, T.H. And the talk. Maybe we can work out where the journal is. I mean, hey, we found that pirate treasure, right?"
Tenderheart nodded thoughtfully. "True. Good talking with you Funshine." He paused as his belly badge glowed. He frowned, looking down and rubbing his tummy. Then he looked up and smiled. "I have a feeling I helped you with some things."
Funshine smiled back. "You did. Catch you later, Tenderheart."
On the way back to his house, he thought over the clue from every angle he could think of. He felt like the answer was obvious, that he was missing something, but he couldn't place his finger on it. It was extremely frustrating.
By the time he made it back to his hut, he saw Grumpy was awake and devouring the snack he'd left out. Grumpy only grunted when Funshine greeted him, too busy filling his painfully empty stomach to say anything. Funshine understood and sat down to fill him in on the conversation he'd had with Tenderheart. Grumpy swallowed the last bite then reached for his Carry-All for more food.
"That's the only clue?" he asked, tugging out a bowl of ravioli. He rooted around for a fork then dug in, shoveling the food into his mouth.
Funshine felt as if Grumpy was purposefully ignoring what he'd said about Tenderheart's curiosity and desire to know more about the Thunder Bears. He'd hoped to encourage Grumpy to share with Tenderheart, but it looked unlikely. So Funshine nodded in response.
"Yep. That's it's in his secret somewhere."
Grumpy chewed another large bite of pasta then swallowed. "I'll think about it. No ideas now. I guess we could look around my place in Gloomy Glen."
"I don't know. It seems simpler than that," Funshine said. "Hey, got anything in there for me? It's about dinner time and that workout with Tenderheart made me hungry."
"What do you want?" Grumpy asked through a mouthful.
"Chicken wings?" Funshine challenged.
Grumpy set aside the empty bowl and reached into the deceptively small bag. Within seconds, he produced three plates of chicken wings, each a different flavor. Funshine laughed.
"You have everything in there, don't you?"
"Try me," Grumpy said, grabbing a garlic Parmesan wing and tearing at the meat.
"I intend to," Funshine said. He picked up a barbecue wing and licked his lips. "After dinner," he added, then bit into the warm, juicy meat.
