Hey, everyone. So, this is a one-shot with a specific purpose. There is a guest reviewer who reads one of my other stories. Calls himself The Pig. He has left very abusive reviews, even leaving death threats against me and my family for not updating often enough for him. Well, this is my response to him, inspired by similar response stories from my fanfic author friend, Stand with Ward and Queen.

Let's begin.


In the basement of his parents' house, sitting at his computer, the fanfiction reader who calls himself The Pig is typing away, leaving his latest hate review on Raptor2216's story called Operation Iluvatar. Raptor2216 had once again not listened to him when he demanded that Raptor2216 update more often. And The Pig was furious. He had to show Raptor2216 that his opinion that his opinion was more important. Nothing brings him more sadistic pleasure than threatening fanfiction writers from behind his keyboard.

Suddenly, without warning, the lights go off in the basement. The Pig is startled in turns around in his seat, just in time to feel a dart pierce his skin. A second later, he passes out.

When he next opens his eyes, he finds himself tied in a chair, sitting in the middle of an empty cement room that is almost completely dark.

"Wh-where am I?" he gasps out.

"You're here because you've far crossed the line."

The Pig looks desperately around the room, and sees a dark figure in the corner. "Who are you? Do you know who I am?" he demands.

"Yeah, I do. And my opinion of you just dropped even lower, if that was possible. Either way, I couldn't care less who you are. As for who I am…"

The figure steps out into the light, revealing a man dressed in a green suit, with a green hood and mask. He's holding a bow, and has a quiver of arrows on his back.

"My name is Oliver Queen, but in this identity, people know me as the Green Arrow. And I'm here because a good friend and fan of mine, who you know as Raptor2216, asked for a favor," Oliver says.

"That coward can't face me himself?" The Pig responds indignantly.

"You're psychotic," Oliver responds simply before explaining, "He's busy with school and family. And he knows I enjoy things like this. I consider it a privilege he asked me to do this."

"Do what?" The Pig demands.

"Raptor2216 is sick of you threatening him and his family because he doesn't update often enough for you or write his story according to your wishes. You seem incapable of realizing that he has a life outside writing, or that he has different opinions from you, or that Operation Iluvatar is not his only priority," Oliver says. He then smiles slightly and says, "You are very unlucky I am the one dealing with you. Anyone else would've thrown you in an asylum, because you a complete delusional sociopath. But me? No. I deal with people like you differently."

Oliver steps forward threateningly, and The Pig, despite maintaining his psychotic belief, now starts to fear. "What do you mean?" he demands.

Oliver smirks a bit as he draws an arrow from his quiver. "Sir, I spent 5 years lost. Lost on an island, lost in Hong Kong, and lost in Russia. During those years, I learned a lot of things. I especially learned a lot about pain. I learned what kills. I learned what cripples. And what just hurts." He smirks, then says, "The Pig…you have failed this fandom."

Oliver's hand holding the arrow swings down, and a scream echoes through the room along with the sound of an arrowhead piercing skin..


(an hour later)

Oliver slowly steps back from his victim. For the last hour, he had subjected The Pig to the worst he could without cripling or kiling him. Including physical torture, and torturing with playing his most hated songs on repeat at very obnoxious volumes.

"Now, have you learned your lesson?" Oliver demands.

The Pig looks up at him, one eye swollen shut thanks to a punch in the face, and is able to nod.

"Good. But, you see, Raptor2216 and I don't trust you to not go back and continue your antics. So, I brought another friend along to take care of that for good," Oliver says as he steps back.

Terrified of more torture, The Pig tries to struggle against his bonds. But, what Oliver says next confuses him.

"You picked a very strange moniker for your reviews to be under, but I think it kind of fits. So, why not solve the problem for good by giving you what you wanted?"

Footsteps echo as another person enters the room. The Pig looks up and sees a young man standing before him, wearing a dark robe. Then, he raises what looks like a stick, and right then The Pig notices a scar shaped like a lightning bolt on his forehead.

"Transfo Porcus!" Harry Potter shouts, and a jet of light shoots from his wand. The light hits The Pig, and his form begins to twist and shrink until, a second later, a small, dirty pig is sitting on the floor. The pig looks up at them and snorts.

Oliver chuckles at the justice of it. Then, Harry asks, "What do you want me to do with him?"

"Dump him on some farm. I don't care. Let's just hope he doesn't get made into bacon," Oliver says before he leaves in triumph, glad he dealt with yet another sociopath.


And, I'll end the story there. I hope this was kind of humorous and/or satisfying for the rest of you. May make another one if The Pig continues this, or I get other fanatics on my case. And to The Pig…f you.