Dash's Fast Blast:

The Untold Story of Dash Incredible and Lightning McQueen - A Fanfic Exclusive

*Trigger Warning, this story includes*

-Extreme Graphic Sexual Content

-Foul Language

-Violence

-Gore

-Car Fetishes

-Sexual Assault

-Police Brutality

-Fatphobia

-Objectum Sexuality

-Perfect one liners

-Sexual Analogies

-Literally anything else

-And a damn good time

If any of these trigger you, you should consider not listening to this tale

Enjoy! :)

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: The Start of the Fast Lane

Chapter 2: Detention

Chapter 3: Small Town, Big Problems, Huge Crush

Chapter 4: Taylor and Lightning's Past

Chapter 5: Speedy Eyes

Chapter 6: Cheating and Overeating

Chapter 7: Love Fields

Chapter 8: Zamboner

Chapter 9: Busting a Lug Nut

Chapter 10: The Tainted Hole

Chapter 11: Busty and Rusty

Chapter 12: The Truth of The Fuck Files

Chapter 13: The Lie of Love

Chapter 14: The Final Lap

Chapter 15: Fresh Set of Wheels

Things you MUST watch/see before reading:

The Incredibles - Disney+

Cars - Disney+

Officer Taylor (Facebook Link)-

lamberths/posts/2991772734177967

JoeysWorldTour (Youtube link)-

watch?v=hpbcj-dw-8A&t=28s

Coach Bass (Youtube link)-

watch?v=V5q6d91zigM

Chapter 1: The Start of the Fast Lane

"FUCK YOU DAD" says Dash Parr, raging in his skin tight super suit. "You need to do your god damn homework, Dash!" Yells Mr. Incredible after a long painful day at work. It has been 6 years since Dash had joined the track team, he is now 18 and ready to pursue running as a Career. Dash had always been fast to do everything. He lost his virginity at 12, Injected Heroin at 13 and got a full sleeve tattoo of his mom's nudes at 14. Whenever he shows it off, he moves his arm up and down and says "Look. She's using her powers to stretch!"

Dash had been at Track Practice all night working up the courage to go get second in the state competition of Track with his high school. He vowed never to get first because he knows he has an unfair advantage to all the kids, so his room is full of silver. Dash is so behind on school work because in his spare time he goes to the girls bathroom and vapes with his buddy Snoop Alligator.

Dash looks at Mr. Incredible, ready to run him right into a wall. Mr. Incredible knows that look and grabs Dash and throws him on all fours. Dash is in a sticky situation. "I'm gonna teach you why you don't mess with daddy" says Mr. Incredible lifting his right arm up. "Please don't daddy! Whenever you use your super strength it hurts!" Dash says while slightly hesitating. Dash whispers under his breath "It's also really sexy."

Mr. Incredible gently tapped his ass and Dash went flying across the living room and smashed through the wall. Dash was in the front yard, and he has never felt so weak. His whole body was limp except for one part. His baby wand was fully erect and he had been looking at the neighbors bright red Corvette. Dash was suddenly so turned on he forgot about all the pain his daddy just put him through.

Dash's penis was so visible through his voluptuously tight super suit, it was hard to hide, so he ripped it off and started jacking off to the car. He came in a total of 2 seconds. Now that was fast! Mr. Incredible ran outside to see if he taught his son a lesson. As he approaches his son he sees him sitting there with a hand around his penis and love milk all over him. Mr. Incredible was in so much shock, so he passed out in front of his immobile son, stuck in a breathtaking orgasm.

Chapter 2: Detention

Dash's brain wakes up after a full night of pure pleasure. Dash has never been so satisfied in his life, he feels like he can fly. As Dash slowly gets up from his grassy front yard, his penis covered in grass due to his sticky mess from the night before, he realized he was 30 minutes late to school! He jumped through the hole that he was thrown through and quickly put on a pair of skinny jeans, Panic at the disco shirt and a 'I don't care, mom' sweatshirt. He started running to school worried about the test that he was going to miss in his first period class, World History with Dr. Mr. McCormick. He blasts through the door, and while sprinting to his class he felt someone's hand graze along his speedy penis. It was Officer Taylor. Dash made a quick stop to see what the officer had to say.

"Hey Dash, I can see you are late to class.. again." Officer Taylor gives a disappointed expression. "I'll see you after school, Incredible."

Dash grabbed the slip of paper the Officer wrote, it said he had detention from 4-7 after school that day.

"Shit" whispers dash and he starts running to class.

The school day had finally ended and he slowly took his time to walk to detention. Dash looked at the note and surprisingly the note said to go to the nurses office. Dash was confused as to why he had to go to the nurses office but he followed as the note told him. He walked into the room and noticed the lights were off but suddenly the door slammed shut and dash was forced into a doctor's chair.

"WHATS HAPPENING!" yells Dash as he gets chained up to the chair. He heard a laugh in the distance. It was sinister when suddenly a person appeared out of the shadows. It was Officer Taylor in a thong with a whip.

"I'm gonna give you a good taste of LIGHTNING, Incredible." says Officer Taylor while he's moving towards Dash sexually. Dash doesn't move, he actually feels calmer now that Officer Taylor is in his thong. Dash feels Taylor's warmth as he approaches with a whip in hand. Taylor lifts the whip and throws it down in one swift strike.

"Awuh" moans Dash as he gets a slight rope burn from the whip. "You feeling it now, Incredible" says Taylor in a whispering voice. "Oh yes." exclaims Dash "Daddy."

Taylor then takes out several needles from his fanny pack. "This one is full of Mountain Dew: Code Red" Taylor announces "And this one is full of Crystal Pepsi."

"But when I mix the two, it makes an exact replica of my own personal semen."

Taylor sticks the needles in Dash and he gives out a slight moan. "Soak it up," the officer says. Dash feels the semen replica in his veins. Officer Taylor slowly approaches Dash as he whips it out. Dash sees how big it is and starts quivering in fear. He's never been in so much shock in his life. It started glowing and sent sparks everywhere. Dash started to only smell Mountain Dew: Code Red and Crystal Pepsi as it slowly transformed into the smell of the sexy officer's love juice. Officer Taylor's taser was what he had whipped out. His taser's name was Richard, but he prefered to call him Jonathan.

He got Jonathan in the 4th grade. Taylor decided to run away with Jonathan and become an employee at the local morgue when he was only 10. He would take Jonathan, turn him on, and thrust him into the dead people's pelvic regions. He did this in an effort to revive them but sometimes he would end up reviving their richards ;).

Taylor took Jonathan and put him at the end of a strap on and pointed him directly at Dash. Dash was sweating in anticipation, ready for the full thrust. Taylor pulls back his entire body and thrusts into Dash's head as hard as he can.

Dash was paralyzed after the strike, but he started feeling a tingling sensation and his brain started seeing things. Dash slowly started to hear the revving of cars and the blaring of sirens. He started to feel a thrill of a new adventure like a bolt of LIGHTNING.

The whole stadium is filled with the sound of a single word. "Kachow". That was the last thing Dash heard before he passed out.

—-

Chapter 3: Small Town, Big Problems, Huge Crush

Dash's heart was racing once he finally woke up. He started to look around and realized he wasn't in the nurse's office. He was in the middle of nowhere on a road and that road had a single sign. The sign said Route 66. His clothes were soaked with sweat but luckily he has his super suit on him at all times. In the middle of the dusty plain, Dash throws his suit on and starts running down the road. Dash had been running slower than usual, it must have been the taser having an effect on his body. He kept on running and running and every once in a while he would look up and see the beautiful blue sky and white fluffy clouds.

"Is this what freedom feels like?" exclaimes Dash as the wind is brushing across in his face. Dash stops running and starts to think. "Wait…" Dash's face turns to worry "Is this the afterlife?" Dash's heart begins to pound but before he could finally understand he saw a sign in the distance. Dash ran to that sign as fast as he could.

The sign read Radiator Springs. "Hmm" says Dash thinking about Dr. Mr. McCormick's history class and where "Radiator Springs" is on the world map. Before Dash could figure that out a car approaches from behind the sign. It was a Police car but it wasn't any normal police car. It was living.

"The FUCK is THAT" the police car exclaims while whipping out his taser.

"WAIT!" Dash screams for his life "My name is Dash Incredible and i'm a human, we live in the same world, I don't know how I got here"

"You're arrested for bein' the most freakishly ugly thing I have ever seen in my whole god damn fucking life." The police car says. "Also my name is Sheriff, and imma kill your ass if you make any racist remarks about me shootin' up innocent cars and shit like that." Sheriff takes his hook that he uses to arrest cars and shoves it all the way up Dash's ass. Dash screams in pleasure and is excited to see what this car does to him.

"I'm taking you to the hospital, and there we will find out what to do with you, ya little shit." The sheriff drags Dash by the asshole into the town of Radiator Springs.

The town was all connected to one road, Hudson Hornet Rd. There was a gas station, tire shop, paint shop, hotel made of traffic cones, military shed and a courtroom at the end of the road. Dash was being taken to the hospital. As he was being dragged down the road he noticed a memorial, it looked like a really old car. Dash disregarded the memorial since he was in excruciating pain due to the hook.

Dash makes it to the hospital and is thrown in an emergency room

"Imma get the mayor of this town to speak to you, if you fuckin' move your monstrous spectacular ass you're gonna be face fucked by the huge pipe in my shed." Yelled Sheriff as he slams the door behind him.

"FUCK" yelled Dash as he was pulling the hook out of anus cavity. It was covered in blood and intestines, Dash was starting to see the light, until… he started to smell something. It was the smell of Taylor's ejaculation cream.

All of a sudden Dash had stopped feeling pain and his ass had been fully healed in a matter of seconds, and then it clicked with Dash.

"Officer Taylor has magic healing semen!" exclaims Dash. The door bursts open and Dash looks at the car rolling in and gets chills. His eyes graze the lightning bolt across the car. This had been the dreamiest car Dash had ever seen. Dash started to get a boner so he put his hands on his crotch, holding it down. Sheriff comes in after the sexy automobile. "This is our town mayor, Lightning McQueen."

That name became a staple in Dash's brain and he couldn't think of anything else at that moment.

"Who are you and what hath brought you here?" said McQueen in his extremely sexy voice.

"Uhm" Dash says starstruck " My name is Dash, Dash Incredible and I don't know how I got here, I just appeared here last night."

"I see, anyways, Welcome to Radiator Springs! I'm the mayor and I am more than willing to help with any questions you have and I will assist you until you can remember what happened to you." says McQueen in a comforting voice. Dash had known what happened to him but he pretended he didn't know so McQueen would not have to leave.

McQueen starts to leave the room when suddenly he feels a hand on his bumper. It was Dash.

"Thank you."

McQueen turned around and looked deeply into Dash's eyes. "You're welcome."

That was the start of a new speedy romance.

Chapter 4: Taylor and Lightning's Past

(This chapter is from Taylor's vision after Chapter 2)

Taylor took Jonathan and put him at the end of a strap on and pointed him directly at Dash. Dash was sweating in anticipation, ready for the full thrust. Taylor pulls back his entire body and thrusts into Dash's head as hard as he can.

Dash started shaking uncontrollably. The officer started to get confused and all of a sudden he vanished.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Officer Taylor screamed "WHERE DID YOU GO?" The officer rips off his taser strap-on, disconnects Jonathan, and chucks the strap on at the floor. Officer Taylor suddenly feels calm. He knew who he had to call.

Taylor picked up his walky talkey and said "Woo woo woo." Out of nowhere, a man over 600 pounds falls through the ceiling of the Nurses office and when he lands the entire school shakes.

"Hiya, Joey." says Taylor. "I'M BAAAAAACK" yells JoeysWorldTour in the officer's face. Taylor could smell the rotting McDonalds in the back of his teeth through his horrific breath. "I have a task for you. Can you figure out what happened to one of the students here, Dash Incredible?" explains Taylor. "Oh yeah I can! WOO WOO!"

Joey goes over to the chair and sniffs it several times, he could smell Dash through dimensions. "woo Woo WOO!" Joey says while progressively getting louder "WOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOOOO"

"JOEY! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Officer Taylor screams over Joey's wooing. "He's in Radiator Springs." He sniffs some more. "In a hospital with the mayor, Lightning McQueen."

"Lightning McQueen..." Taylor says as memories come flooding back to him. Taylor knew who Lightning was, they were best friends in the second grade, well, until the day it all changed. Lightning was a human kid at the time, he was always the fastest at everything, just like Dash. Taylor and McQueen were always together, like two peas in a pod, but one day Taylor overheard McQueen fucking the young officer's mother. "Ohh you are speed!" says Taylor's mother

"I AM SPEED!" yells Lightning as he climaxed into Taylor's mother. Taylor was furious and waited for the next day at school to talk to him.

Taylor and Lightning were at track practice the next day. "How was your night last night?" says young Taylor. "It was great, I finished a lot of my homework." exclaims McQueen.

"Was fucking my MOM your homework?" says Taylor in a furious tone.

"Only on WEDNESDAYS!" yells McQueen.

"I HATE YOUR FUCKING GUTS!" yells Taylor. Taylor and McQueen stop running and begin to fight on the sidewalk of their school. All of a sudden a car came speeding down the road at nearly 120 mph.

"If you are truly SPEED, EAT THIS!" Taylor says as he shoves McQueen into the road. The car hit McQueen at the full 120 mph and McQueen's limp body was sent flying. His bloody dead body soared through the sky and his tongue was hanging out. His spine detached and and his body opened creating a shower of blood, bones, and organs. Taylor realized what he had done and ran away from his family forever. While he was running he noticed McQueen's body parts quickly formed into car parts. They all came together, formed a perfect car and he vanished into thin air. At this moment Taylor still can't forget what Lightning did.

"Where is this 'Radiator Springs'?" commands The Officer. "Somewhere in the Car's dimension, but for some reason Dash didn't transform into a car." says Joey.

"Do you know how to get there?"

"No, but I suppose if you suffer such a blow while thinking about speed, it will take you there."

"Okay, Thank you Joey."

The officer shakes Joey's hand and Joey says his outro.

"This was Joey from Joey's super cool food reviews saying; PEAEAEACE." Joey blasts through the ceiling using his gaseous massacre in his asshole to fly.

Officer Taylor waltzes around the room. "My two biggest enemies. Lightning McQueen and Dash Parr. Wait… I can kill two birds with one stone. They're both in the same spot! I can end them right now and my life would be complete. Watch out Incredible, I'm gonna kill you and your new friend…my old friend."

Chapter 5: Speedy Eyes

McQueen pulls into the Cozy Cone Motel parking lot. "Hey honey, I'm home!" yells McQueen after a stressful day at work. "Hi baby." says Sally, McQueen's wife. "How was your day at work today?"

"Something really weird happened." explains McQueen. "This creature named Dash appeared here in Radiator Springs out of nowhere. He claims to be a human, it's been awhile since i've seen one of those…" Sally rolls over to Lightning. It was around 10:30 at night and they were both awfully tired. Sally kisses McQueen and whispers in his side mirror. "Wanna fuck?"

McQueen has never gotten so revved up for something in his life. Sally rushed over and turned off the 'Open' sign and hooked McQueen and dragged him into a cone. Little did they know, it was Dash's cone.

McQueen and Sally start making love as McQueen takes out his oil pipe. McQueen turns onto his side as Sally puts her mouth around his rock hard pipe. She could already taste the pre-oil.

"Oh baby, Kachow!" says Lightning as his body fills with the feeling of pleasure. Sally was always the best at sucking pipes, she started working at the strip club at 18 and became a prostitute at 19. Sally eventually learned sex was about passion and love and not just a physical connection and she learned that from Lightning himself. So she quit the strip club and opened up a motel so all the prostitutes would have a place to fuck in peace.

Sally finally finishes Lightning with this favorite move. The Piston Cup. Sally puts her mouth round the pipe and revs to make a fierce vibrating sensation on the tip of his oily cock. "OHHHHH!" screams McQueen while letting all of his oil spill. "One Winner, Forty-two losers. I am the only one that deserves your body Sally." says Lightning after his squeaky orgasm. "Now it's your turn." says Lightning, flipping Sally onto her back. Lightning whips out his tongue and shoves it in her exhaust pipe. "Oh baby." Sally moans "Lick my rim." McQueen shows Sally a whole world of pleasure that she has never felt before. Lightning takes his tongue out and gets in a doggy style position and he sticks his oil pipe in her exhaust pipe and starts thrusting. The cone starts shaking by how fast and hard they were fucking.

Dash was taking a run that night still preparing for his track meet even though he knows he will never make it to it. He runs past the Cozy Cone and hears sounds of rattling and metal banging. Curiously, Dash goes over to the source of sound that he hears. He punches a code into the Garage door and it slowly opens. As the door opens it reveals McQueen and Sally on top of each other. Dash shields his eyes. McQueen and Sally start to freak out and they exit from each other's bodies.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry" Dash cries as he starts to walk away. "Wait" Lightning yells to Dash. "I think I should introduce you to my wife, Sally." Sally sat there completely burnt out from the whole experience and she couldn't move, exhaust pipe smoking. Dash looks at Sally and looks back at Lightning and notices his giant rock hard oil pipe. Dash stares for a while as McQueen tries to help restart Sally. "I think she needs to rest, I'll restart her tomorrow morning." says McQueen slowly turning around. As McQueen turns around he sees Dash's bulge tearing through his super suit. "Oh my…" says McQueen. He hasn't seen a cock that big since he was a child.

Dash sprints away in embarrassment, his face blood red. "WAIT!" McQueen yells chasing after him. Dash started to sprint faster but McQueen was catching up. Dash forgot Lightning IS speed. They keep running until they are side by side going the exact same speed down the dusty path. They both look at each other while maintaining their speed. Time seemed to slow down. They gaze into each other's eyes. Their hearts were pounding with love and then suddenly Dash stopped in his tracks. Lightning didn't have enough notice so he kept rolling while slamming on the brake. In that time, Dash had rushed back to Radiator Springs and into the cozy cone he was assigned. McQueen stopped moving and sat there, thinking.

"In my lifetime I have never experienced someone… no… something so fast. I've been through hell, thick and thin, and even death itself. I don't know what to think, my mind is clogged up with the thought of him and the way he moves. If I am to live my life the way I want, then I would only want to live it with him. Last night I dreamed of a man that looked very familiar, he was wearing a Sheriff hat and a thong. He also had a taser named Richard. I feel like his presence will curse me sometime in the future. Not now, but soon. But for now, Dash, you are all that is running through my mind."

—-

Chapter 6: Cheating and Overeating

It was a long night for McQueen. He couldn't get over the thought of Dash. Dash never fixed the tear in his super suit from the hook so as Lightning chased after Dash he got a good look at Dash's buttery asshole. McQueen woke up tired from the two hours of sleep he got. He looked to his left to see his wife sitting there, dead.

"Shit. I need to restart her." says Lightning while breaking out the jumper cables. McQueen takes the cables and hooks up one when suddenly, the garage bell rings. McQueen lets go of the cables and goes to open the garage door. McQueen is super excited to see Dash and talk to him after last night. As the Garage slowly moved up it began to reveal a rusty car with dents all over. It was Hooker Mater. Hooker Mater used to go by Tow Mater but he noticed not enough cars were breaking down, which made his job irrelevant, so Mater went and turned himself into a Hooker.

"Hi Mater…" says McQueen, disappointed. "Why do you come here at such an early hour?"

"HEY MCQUEEN! I saw you with that Dash kid and I wanted to say GO YOU! If I were to take my RUSTY DICK and shove it up anyone's EXHAUST PIPE it would be his!" Mater says screaming.

"SHHHH. Keep it down!" McQueen says while almost freaking out. McQueen would be dead if the rest of the town found out he was going to cheat on Sally. Sally was still unconscious at the time. "HEY MCQUEEN ARE YOU GOING TO FIX SALLY?" screams Mater again. "SHUT UP!" yells McQueen back at Mater. McQueen takes the last jumper cable and restarts Sally.

"OHHH!" exclaimes Sally "What the hell happened?!"

"You got burnt out during sex so I decided to let you sleep overnight and then restart you." explains McQueen.

"Oh, hi Mater." Sally says confusingly. "HEY SALLY! WERE YOU PLEASED DURING SEX LAST NIGHT?!" yells Mater AGAIN. "IF YOU WEREN'T, I CAN DO THAT JOB FOR YOU!" Mater whips his hook out and waves it in her face. "No thanks, Im good Mater." Sally says with a sweet smile on her face. "I need to go to work, i'll see you later, Baby." says McQueen as he rolls away. Sally looks around to see if McQueen is gone then opens the Garage door and invited Mater in. "AW HELL YEA." McQueen hears Mater in the distance. McQueen ignores it and keeps on driving to the town hall and he spots Dash in front of the town memorial of The Hudson Hornet.

"Hey Dash." McQueen says. Dash ignored it. "I know it was embarrassing walking in on Sally and I last night. I'm sorry you had to witness it, but sex is a normal thing. You shouldn't be worried about that." Dash turns to Lightning with compassion in his eyes. "Let me make it up to you. We can go tractor tipping tonight. It is such a fun time, and we can get to know each other better." McQueen suggests. "Okay, that does sound like fun! I'll meet you at 7 o'vroom?" says Dash adding to the plans. "That sounds great!"

O'vrooms sped by as McQueen was waiting for the big night. McQueen had not been on a date in 5 months because Sally has always been 'tired' and 'on her gas leak.' Sally hasn't seemed to be lasting long in the garage either. It would take her about 30 seconds before she completely burns out from all of love speed McQueen thrusts into her tight exhaust pipe. McQueen cannot wait to finally have sex with someone who can last.

Dash was also preparing for the date. This date was unofficial but they both knew they had a thing for each other so they considered it a date in each other's minds. Dash is in his cone and he takes off his super suit. He looks in the mirror to notice veins pumping on his chest. He had never seen that before, and it started causing him excruciating pain. Dash was in so much pain he couldn't make a sound or breathe. The smell of Mountain Dew: Code Red and Crystal Pepsi came back again like a ghost haunting a mansion. Officer Taylor's semen started to spread through Dash's body creating splashing noises on the inside. In a flash, Dash teleports back to the human world and finds himself tied up to an electric fence.

"WOO WOO WOO!" Dash hears in the distance. "Who… WHO'S THERE?" yells Dash, terrified for his life. "You don't know me but I know YOU." exclaims the hidden voice, when suddenly a crash and the smell of Nacho cheeses and armpits falls from the sky. It was Joey! "Officer Taylor! I have found your oh so precious Dash." Joey calls as officer Taylor walks into sight. "Ah Dash, long time no see!" says the officer. Taylor had changed out of his thong into some spaghetti lingerie. Joey licked his lips at the sight of it.

Dash wanted to be back in the safe and secure trunk of Lightning McQueen. Dash struggled to get off the fence but it was pointless, he was chained up real good. "I've heard you met McQueen. How's he doing?" Officer Taylor says with a smirk on his face. "Is he still fucking people's mothers or has he given up on the MILFs yet?" Taylor chuckles at his joke while Joey is having a literal seizure behind him. "Wo wo wo wo wo wo wo." Joey continues to say while fidgeting on the floor. The officer looks at Joey "What the fuc…" Taylor turns around like he didn't see anything. "Anyways, Dash i'll tell you this once and only once. I can kill you right now but I am not going to. You see, you need to go and get me all of the 'Fuck Files' Lightning has a hold of. These files are filled with everyone's moms who he has had sex with. I will use these to regain my mother's virginity and so I can kill McQueen and get revenge once and for all."

"No…" says Dash with slight hesitation.

"Excuse me?" Taylor says slowly approaching Dash. "I don't figure you have a choice." Taylor takes out Jonathan from his belt. Jonathan got a bedazzle makeover from the last time Dash had seen him. Taylor slowly approached the fence as he stared directly into Dash's eyes and turned on Jonathan. Dash turned his head in fear, struggling to get out. "I won't let you kill my love to get your stupid mom's virginity back!" yells Dash.

"YOU'VE DONE IT NOW BOY!" screams the Officer as he raises his taser ready to slash. "AWUHUHUH" exclaims Joey as he wakes up from his seizure nap. Joey takes a look at Officer Taylor's spaghetti lingerie. Joey licks his lips and screams "WELCOME BACK TO JOEY'S SUPER COOL FOOD REVIEWS!" he prepares to charge " I'M BAAAACK!"

Mouth wide open, Joey charges at Officer Taylor shoving him and Jonathan into Dash's head. Dash started to go through Dejá vú. He heard more and more cheering when suddenly all went silent except one word. Kachow. Dash had disappeared into thin air and teleported back into the Cars world.

Joey was slurping the spaghetti right off of Officer Taylor's lower body.

"YOU STUPID, FAT, DUMB, IMBECILE!" screams Taylor. "WE HAD HIM AND YOU…". Officer Taylor looks down to notice Joey started to suck his penis. Joey spit it out as fast as he could. "Ew! No good! No good! 2 out of 10, too much sausage." Officer Taylor's face turned red with rage. "AHHHHHHHHH!"

Dash had woken up at 6 o'vroom. He could still go on his date! Dash didn't have any spare clothes or suits so he would have to go in the nude. Dash looked in the mirror as his body started healing all of the scratches and wounds from the fence and the officer. "I have to go tell McQueen everything." says Dash running to Lightning's cone, penis flopping in the wind.

Chapter 7: Love Fields

Dash's body ran over to McQueen's cone so he could let him know what had just happened. "Hey Lightning!" Dash called. "I saw my enemy Offic…" Dash froze in his tracks. Lightning slowly turned around with a bow tie attached to the front of his car. This was so incredibly sexy to Dash, but Dash realized he was still in the nude. Dash couldn't help himself so he popped a boner right then and there. "Wait." exclaims McQueen. "Don't worry about it. I understand human arousal. I was…" McQueen stopped his sentence. He knew he couldn't tell anyone, but Dash was a human. It would not matter if the sexylious car told him. "I need to tell you something Dash. But you cannot tell anyone here in the Car universe."

"I promise I won't tell anyone. What is it you adorable hunk of metal." says Dash while slightly biting his lip.

"Well… when I was a child I was a human. I wasn't a car forever, and my best friend Taylor was a HUGE DICK." Lightning took a deep breath to calm down. "Wouldn't let me fuck his mom. But I did it anyway, and then he pushed me in front of a car and killed me." Dash gasped. McQueen continued, "Instead of the afterlife I transformed into a car and came here. You needed to know the truth. You are my one true love and I can't hide anything from you."

"I know Taylor. He's my school's resource Officer." says Dash. "He's after my head for always being late to class, but about that. Officer Taylor's semen teleported me to him and this gargantuan fat man was there with him. They tried to kill me but luckily the fatty went crazy and caused Taylor to miss his shot and teleported me back to the Cars world." Dash felt an urge. He wanted to bring up the Fuck Files, but he is afraid he will ruin the date. "We should start heading over to the fields, it's getting dark." says McQueen. Dash gets on McQueen's roof and they drive over there. They casually talk about their sex lives. Dash hasn't gotten much action since he left home. McQueen pulls into an empty field.

"Where's all the tractors?" says Dash concerned. "Don't worry about it Dash, I guess we were too late." McQueen drives over to the field's cattle ramp, Dash follows. They look up at the night sky, full of stars and romance. "This is beautiful." says Dash gazing into the night sky. "That consolation looks like my friend Snoop Alligator!"

"That's Orion's Belt." says McQueen, correcting Dash. "Do you know what is more beautiful? You." Dash starts to blush from the Race Car's comment. They turn towards each other and look into each other's eyes. They lean in and their lips touch. "Wait!" says Dash, pulling away. "What about Sally?"

"What about Sally? She's already cheating on me with Mater. Why can't I do the same?" McQueen leans in again. They start to pick up the pace with their kissing while adding more and more to it. Within three seconds they were making out under the stars, nothing but the sound of lips colliding. Dash sticks his tongue through McQueen's large mouth. Their tongues touch in a passionate tie. They are tongue wrestling at this point, no lips involved.

"If we're going to fool around, let's go all out!" Dash says. Dash takes off McQueen's bow tie with only his teeth. Dash's erection starts to grow, he can finally let it grow all the way without being embarrassed. McQueen takes his large mouth and wraps it around Dash's cock. "Oh yes!" yells Dash as his cock gets wrapped up in McQueen's tongue. Dash had been practicing holding his cum for more than five minutes so he didn't instantly let down his partner. McQueen had very little experience with boys but he knew the general idea from Sally. Dash starts screaming in pleasure, feeling every suck and lick on his large penis. "Oh I'm gonna cum!" yells Dash. Dash released his entire load into McQueen's mouth. It was everywhere. Lightning didn't know what to expect but as he started to taste the ejaculation he came to a realization that he loved it.

"Get on all fours, baby." says McQueen to Dash while using his sexy voice. "Anything for you, my clinky clanky daddy." Dash spread his cheeks and looked behind him. It was Lightning's gigantic oil pipe, at its full size. McQueen starts to squeeze his pipe all the way into Dash's tearing asshole. Dash heard ripping as he was screeching in pain. McQueen felt moistness already and looked down to see blood dripping from his asshole. Lightning ignored it and started fucking. "AHWUHAHAWUH!" moans Dash while in excruciating pain. Dash loved the pain, it reminded him of when Mr. Incredible would scold Dash and smack him with all of his strength. The clanking of metal could be heard from all the way in town. Sheriff went over to see what was happening, but he took a quick glance to see McQueen jumping all over Dash, so he ignored it. Dash moans and yells, "YOU NEED TO PULL OUT!"

"I DON'T SEE A YIELD SIGN!" yells McQueen. "OHHH!" McQueen yells, dumping all of his oil up and into Dash. Dash had never felt this much pleasure in his lifetime. Dash stopped to breathe for a second. He reached over behind him and wiped his ass with his hand. It was covered in blood and oil, Dash loved it. McQueen backed up and pulled next to Dash. "Sorry, we didn't get to tip tractors." exclaims McQueen, catching his breath.

"Oh no no no. This was much, much better." says Dash with a wide smile on his face. The two kiss some more, cuddle up, and they fall asleep in the field, under the stars.

Chapter 8: Zamboner

"Alright. 3. 2. 1." yells Taylor. Taylor focuses everything on speed and Lightning as something comes crashing into his gut. The bag of potato chips fell to the ground. Taylor was standing there uneffected.

"Woo woo…" says Joey in disappointment. Taylor has been trying for days to go to the Cars world to finally get the revenge he oh so desperately needed. "We have to get someone who is stronger. I don't think you can hit me hard enough with all the flab on your arm, Joey." explains Taylor. Joey takes out 3 twinkies and swallows them whole without chewing at all. "10 o'clock snack down, 10:30 snack in 30 minutes. WOO WOO!"

Taylor and Joey leave the school gymnasium and head over to the bench press hall. "There is only one person that has the power and strength of a thousand high school jocks in a circle jerk." says Taylor. The aroma of fish filled the hall with the sound of screaming.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" screams the fishy man. He was bald, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, and had more school spirit than everyone in the school combined.

"Hey Coach Bass." says the officer.

"Hey guys, how are my two favorite Longhorns, AHHH HOOK EM'!" screams Bass.

"We need a favor. I need you to hit me with all you got so you can send me to the Cars world. I need to get Dash back in school if you know what I mean." says Taylor "Also you're the strongest man I know." Joey lets out a sad woo while unwrapping another twinkie.

"I would love to help you guys, but I lost all my muscles when I got cancer and had to get my left prostate removed." Coach Bass continued. "Luckily they had an extra prosthetic prostate and I'm feeling better than ever!"

"Coach, that won't help though. I need the strongest person you know."

"Well, I have the Hallway Zamboni. I can take off the wheels and use my Extra Rubber Supreme slingshot and slide it across the hallway and hit you like a truck. I'm just out of fluid." Bass says. Taylor got an amazing idea. "Where're you going Taylor?" Yells Bass. "I'm going to get an all natural lubricant!" screams the excited officer.

Taylor ran to the Sperm Bank, named The Semen Sack, across the street of the High School. The state destroyed the Rec Center to build a sperm bank in the name of women's empowerment, so when the time comes women will have what they need to continue the human race.

Taylor bursts through the doors of The Semen Sack and through the lobby into the back room. Before he makes it into the semen extraction room, he runs into the room where they get their semen. The Milky Way room. Taylor busts open the door to be greeted with hundreds of men getting sucked off by the SUCC-10000 with porn posted all over the walls.

Taylors face got splashed and he was blinded for a moment. Stumbling around looking for something to hold onto, Taylor accidentally grabs onto one patient's johnson. "Oh what is this?" Taylor squoze the johnson and played around with it, trying to figure out what it was. "It feels like a penis, but it's way too big" Little did Taylor know it WAS a penis, and it was getting bigger by the second.

"Ah, my hand is getting too small to fit around it!" Taylor started wiping the semen from his eyes. "Holy Handgun! That's a huge dick!" Taylor's screaming was followed by multiple doctors rushing into the room. "No, don't fondle that man's pecker! You must stop touching it immediately!" Said all the doctors.

The man had a super penis that grew constantly as he was aroused. It was some weird super power. It would only stop if he got turned off somehow. The penis grew to be the size of a water heater. The man was constantly letting out moans as the pecker was getting bigger and bigger. Taylor grabbed Jonathan and started to taze the Penis but it only made it grow faster. Suddenly, Joey and Bass blast through the door. They see the penis and jump on it and strangle it.

The dick eventually grew so big it burst through the ceiling. Officer Taylor got an idea, but before it was to be executed, the dick fell onto 'the vault', which was a giant tank full of all the semen that was collected. Man Yogurt started to flow everywhere throughout the bank. Everything was still in chaos, but all of a sudden the dick started to shrink. A sudden scream was heard.

"AHHH ANOTHER MAN'S CUM IS ON MY DICK! THATS GAY!" screamed Super Dick as he ran away completely nude. He was a scrawny white man.

Coach Bass took a jar out of the frocket on his Hawaiian Longhorn shirt and filled it with the semen from 'the vault'. "We have the perfect amount of lubricant for the Zamboni! Let's go!" says Joey. "WOO WOO WOO! It's 10:30! Snack break!" Joey pops another twinkie and takes his second one and gets an idea. Joey takes the twinkie and swipes it across the semen on the floor and throws it down his throat. "A bit salty, but that good kind of salty. Woo woo! 8 out of 10!" Joey rates.

They got back to the High School and Coach Bass spread the semen across the floor and hopped onto the Zamboni. "Are you ready Taylor?". Taylor responds, "To get back at Lightning and Dash? Fuck yes!"

Joey takes the Zamboni and pulls it back on Extra Rubber Supreme Slingshot and Launches the Hallway cleaning vehicle towards Taylor. The officer gets hit and starts to hear the mimic of "Kachow" and "Speed" as his vision starts to go dark. Joey and Bass watch as Taylor is gone in a flash.

"Okay our turn!" says Bass "But we need somebody to pull the Zamboni back for us!" They start to think as they hear a custodian cart roll down the hallway. It was White Claw Gabe! "Fuck baby fuck. It's monday baby, fuck. I hate my job baby, fuck. FUCK I WANNA GET DRUNK BABY, FUCK!" says the TikTok famous star as he gets out the mop. "Gabe, can we do this later. I need you to slingback the Zamboni to have it smash into us" explains Bass. "That sounds like so much fun baby FUCK." Gabe says as pulling the Zamboni back on the slingshot. "AHHHHHHHH!" screams Bass as Gabe lets go and semen splashes all over the walls. Joey and Bass get hit at the same time and disappear into thin air.

White Claw Gabe casually takes his bucket and mop (that's a WAP) and walks over to the semen covered floor and walls. "Hey Monday! You can go FUCK YOURSELF, FUCK BABY." He says as he starts mopping.

Chapter 9: Busting a Lug Nut

Sally was out on the road looking for McQueen. It has been days since they had even seen each other and Sally was starting to get a feeling in her bumper that he was cheating on her. She caught a glimpse of an oil trail and started to follow it and see where it led. Sally knew it was Lightning's oil because she licked it off the pavement and she could sense the taste. It was smooth and toxic, she loved it.

Sally was still rolling down the road, tongue out, when she came across a field full of tractors. The oil tracks stopped there with a scent leading into the field. Sally rolled off the road into the grassy plains, pushing through tractors.

"I've caught you now, you whore." says Sally as she suddenly gets licked by one if the rusty tractors. "EW! You are fucking disgusting!" screamed Sally, worrying she was going to get AIDS. Sally continued to follow the trail of oil and it suddenly started to taste like blood was involved. Sally goes over a hill and there she sees it. Her husband and a naked young man sleeping side by side. Sally sped over there as fast as she could. Lightning woke up to the revving and realized she was about to run over Dash.

"AH! YOU KILL MY HEART, THEN I'LL KILL YOUR LOVE!" yelled Sally as she was going nearly 100 miles an hour. Lightning looked around hoping to find somewhere he and dash could hide. He saw a small tunnel, hooked Dash, and started to drive. Dash woke up from the pain almost immediately. "AHH! What's happening babe?" Dash exclaimed to McQueen as they were rushing towards the tunnel. McQueen yells back, "I'm saving us!"

Sally misses them by a long shot and wipes out down a large hill. McQueen and Dash race down the tunnel and go as far as they possibly can.

"What the FISH was that?" said Bass as his head gets blasted with wind from the speed of Lightning. Taylor approaches from out of the bushes in the Cars universe. "It's Cars. We're here baby, and in a matter of seconds." says the officer not even realizing Lightning came by. Joey falls out of the sky and nearly kills Taylor. "Woo woo, my Joey jump is so much better than it has ever been!"

"Joey, shut up and let's go Car jacking!" says Taylor.

Sally was rolling out of the tunnel covered with mud and blood, completely giving up on finding McQueen when suddenly she felt a hand on her passenger door. Taylor grabs and swings open the door and Sally screams at the top of her engine. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" yells Sally as she extends her arms into the air. Taylor gets inside of her. "Shut up, I need you to get around this disgusting place!" Explains Taylor. Bass and Joey stand there cheering the officer on while he's holding onto Sally like a cowboy riding a bull. Sally starts to drive as fast as she can. Taylor closes the door and pulls the emergency brake. Sally can't move and feels as if she was paralyzed.

"Hello, porsche." says Taylor, hand still on the emergency brake. "Do you know a car? He's big, red, sexy, fucks other people's moms. He also goes by." Taylor's face scrunches, "Lightning McQueen." Sally starts to feel enraged and starts to curse, drawing attention to herself. The officer freaks out and turns the windshield wipers on. Sally now can't see and is in crazy pain. "If you don't stop yelling this will be the end of you." says Taylor. Sally opens her mouth hesitantly, "I know Lightning. He's my husband. But… he's cheating on me." Sally gets furious and cannot stand herself.

"Do you know where he is?" asks Taylor.

"No, but you can find him by following the oil trail under the bridge."

"Thank you Porche, what's your name?"

"Sally"

Taylor chuckles under his breath.

"Thank you Sally, I appreciate your help."

Taylor places his hand on the key inside of her.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Yells Sally revving with all of her might.

"What I must do." Taylor turns the key, shutting off Sally and snaps it in half.

"Kachow, amirite?" Taylor says while getting out of the car. He takes a grenade out of his thong, pulls the pin, and walks away. Sally blows up in a fiery inferno. "You're dead McQueen." says Taylor sniffing and following the oily scent.

Chapter 10: The Tainted Hole

Lightning McQueen was approaching the place where he would always go when he was having a bad day. He and Dash will finally be safe and sound after the wild chase. Lightning pulls onto the side of the road and onto a race track made out of dirt and mud. It was called Mt. Hudson, and it was on a cliff so it had the whole view of Radiator Springs. At the bottom of the cliff, there are lots of cacti, so if you make one wrong turn you will be sent into a pit of prickly sensation. Lightning unhooks from Dash's bleeding asshole. Dash's ass quickly closes up and the pain vanishes. Dash stands up with a worried look on his face.

"What is happening to us? Will we always be on the run?" Dash says, shaking. "Even if we are always on the run, at least I'll be running with you." Lightning says rolling over to Dash. Their lips lock with passion. "I'm so lucky to have found you, McQueen." says Dash, blushing. Lightning and Dash disconnect, and Lightning gets a great idea. "Let's race to pass the time!" suggests McQueen. The two raced around the track and out of nowhere a black hole emerged. A gigantic man in a purple mask and a cape was launched out of the hole. It was Joey.

"HOW DID YOU FIND US YOU WILD ANIMAL!" screams McQueen sheltering Dash.

"I always find my prey. Woo woo." Joey says as he starts to create a black hole with his bare hands.

"Taylor made a new concoction that gave me the power to control black holes. It is Lime Fanta, black cherries and Downy ultra soft." Joey's cape was blowing in the breeze of the fresh scented Radiator Springs air. He takes his hands and creates a full ball of void and expands it around Lightning and Dash. They're trapped.

"Lightning!" murmured Dash. "We have to fight, we have no choice!" Dash prepares to take off. "Anything for you, my love!" exclaims McQueen. Dash uses McQueen's love and blasts off to make the first swing.

Dash yells while running at Joey using his full force to throw a punch. Dash swings his fist right into Joey's jiggly stomach, but before he can react, Dash gets launched back the complete opposite direction. Joey's fat was used as a protective layer of armor that can deflect all sorts of physical contact. Dash's wrist snapped due to the excessive force of the launch. Lightning speeds over to him to comfort his injury. Dash hits his dashboard.

"Agh!" yells Dash in agony. "I busted my wrist up on that man's massive tummy!" Lightning makes a smooth vibrating sensation with his engine. "Good thing you only need your feet to pleasure me." Lightning says in a flirtatious manner. Joey began to celebrate. The fat man's warcry could be heard across the whole town, straight woo woos and mmhmms. Lightning McQueen put Dash in the passenger seat of himself as he prepared to attack Joey himself. McQueen took out two machine guns from either side of his car and started to barrage Joey with bullets. The large being realized he dropped a fry from lunch a while ago, so he bent over to pick it up and when he did he ripped a phat one. This monstrous ass cloud stopped all momentum from the bullets causing them to drop in mid air. McQueen was shocked and didn't know what to do next. He was all out of ideas when suddenly he heard a voice in the back of his mind. It was Hooker Mater. Mater shouted in his ear.

"I FUCKED YOUR WIFE, SHITLIPS."

Lightning became infuriated and revved his engine as loud as he could and blasted straight towards Joey. McQueen suddenly started to feel odd, like he was faster than usual, like a bullet or perhaps even, LIGHTNING. The speeding car realized it wasn't just himself that was making faster than normal. It was Dash's super powered foot on the gas pedal.

"Go on and get em' baby." says Dash with a grin. McQueen and Dash blast towards Joey's chest, splitting atoms in the process, and then suddenly they feel a puncture. Next thing they know they are on the other side of the bulging fellow with his heart on the windshield. McQueen drove straight through Joey's heart. Joey starts to feel light headed as he slips out his final words. "Twinkies cream is just a sugar supplement."

The black hole vanishes and Lightning and Dash are back at Mt. Hudson, safe and sound. Dash exits the driver seat with his wrist back to normal like nothing ever happened. "I'm really getting used to this tactical semen use." says Dash, giggling. McQueen drives up to the dead body of Joey's World Tour.

"If we must protect our love through combat, so be it!" McQueen pulls Dash close and whispers to him seriously, "I couldn't have done this without you, Dash. You saved our lives!" Dash shakes his head. "No baby, YOU saved our lives!" McQueen and Dash tell each other that they love one another.

"Taylor is still out there terrorizing people. We must put a stop to him!" Dash says seriously, he hops in the front seat and McQueen drives off. As they approach Radiator Springs, they run into Sheriff. "You sons of bitches!" yelled the Sheriff. "McQueen, you have been impeached by the town of Radiator Springs." The car raises a newspaper. "How can you protect a town, if you can't protect your own wife!" The news shocked both of the lovers. It was Sally, and she was dead. Dash was feeling upset due to the carjacking, but McQueen seemed ecstatic. "Cheating bitch got what she deserved!" said McQueen out loud to the Sheriff. "YOU NEED TO RESPECT THOSE WOMAN, BO-." Everyone went quiet to listen for a specific 5 word chant. "What is it? It's coming from Radiator Springs!" says Dash. The words that were being chanted were "We got that Longhorn Pride!" It was Coach Bass terrorizing the town. "Let's go put an end to this nonsense!" exclaims McQueen while speeding over to Radiator Springs with the Sheriff following closely behind, smelling the Rusteeze scent coming right off the bumper.

Chapter 11: Busty and Rusty

"Once this war is over, you'll be in a heap of trouble." suggests Sheriff, but McQueen ignores his remarks knowing he'll be gone with his baby boo before it ends.

The cars and boy reach Radiator Springs greeted by silence and a town thrown into ruin.

"Where did Bass go?" says Dash, flustered. "LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE TO THE TOWN!" yells the Sheriff, exploding into tears. Power lines were struck down, buildings were torn up and the scent of crabular incest reeked. The town turned into a wasteland with nothing but debris, corpses, and a line of fire burning straight down the central road.

"NOOO!" screeched Flo, the gas station owner, over Ramones dead engine. "Open your eyes baby, please!" Flo's tears don't stop as her cries fill the streets. Ramone was in flames as Sheriff approached with a deathly snarl. "FAST BOY IN THE NUDE!" he yells "You brought these monsters into our world, and for that, I arrest you until further noti-" A quake occurred interrupting the Sheriff, and Bass appeared out of thin air.

"AHHHH!" Bass yells and then lasers explode out of his eyes. "DASH, TAYLOR TOLD ME WHAT YOU DID, AND FOR THAT I CAN NEVER FORGIVE YOU!" Dash's memory becomes cluttered, from then to now he couldn't remember that he had any conflicts between Bass and him. Slowly memories flood back to him until he finally figures out what could be frustrating the coach so much. Before he can ask, dash ejects from the front seat and speeds out into the street. Dash's legs begin to burn up and hurt. "OW!" yells Dash as he looks down at his legs. He just realized how bad his legs have been chafing, blood was streaming down his inner thigh to his calf. He remembered his suit had a powerful anti-chaif adhesive making it more comfortable to run. "Lightning, daring" calls Dash "I need a favor. Run to my cone and get my super suit, I can't run in the bare nude."

"But what about Bass? Don't you need my help dealing with him?" yells McQueen.

"No, this one is personal." Says dash and he takes his hand, rips off his armpit hair, and puts it in between his legs making a temporary bandage for the bleeding. McQueen blasts off and Sheriff and Flo clear the streets as they can't bear to stay in the line of danger.

"Okay Bass, listen here" says Dash in a forgiving tone. "I know what you're on about, and I want you to know that it only happened once." The man, completely ignoring his words, swings at him and hits him straight in the stomach, coughing up blood. Following that blow, Bass shoots more lasers out of his eyes and Dash dodges them. "I WON'T STOP UNTIL YOU GIVE IT BACK!" Bass says. Dash speeds around him and kicks him right in the baby marbles. After the kick it triggered his fight of flight power, Invisibility. Bass had vanished from sight and Dash was left confused, running in circles to dodge any hits coming his way. Bass reappears and picks up a dead car and chucks it at dash. The man takes off his Lambert Longhorn Hawaiian Shirt to reveal a tattoo of his daughter's face right on his chest. "YOU STOLE MY PRECIOUS DANIBEAR'S VIRGINITY!" reveals Bass. "Even if I wanted to, I can't give it back, Bass. You've got to let it go." Dash says, trying to reason.

"Then DIE!" The coach vanishes and reappears over Dash's head and lasers at him again. Dash spreads his legs to block the piping hot laser strike to look up and realize how sexy Bass looked with his shirt off. His magic fruit started to rise at the sight of the man's six pack and compulsive pecks. Dash ran around and used his fully stone solid cock to whack Bass right in the back of his head. Vanishing, Bass reappears behind Dash, grabs his dick and, in mid air, throws him over his head and into the ground. Bass grabs him and pins the boy while he is on top of him, hand around his throat. "Because i'm such an incredible father, you will endure what my daughter felt when you fucked her." Bass starts to unbuckle the belt in his cargo shorts. Dash's hunger for a good dick was longing, but he realized that Bass was the enemy. Dash had nowhere to go, nowhere to turn. He was truly trapped, but the sound of an engine was rushing towards the man and the boy. "McQueen?" says Dash with excitement. A rusty hook rips straight through Bass' shorts and pulls him off of Dash before he could unbuckle his pants. It was Hooker Mater. He throws Bass off of his hook, while in agonizing pain due to the rusty hook. "OW! No Hook Em' for that one." yells Bass. He gets up from the blow without hesitation. "Howdy dare you have someone kill my only reason for living" Mater says with tears in his eyes. "She has been my love for basically the entirety of my life. Sally was the one who helped me lift my depression away through rough bumper sex, and you threw it all away. Now you must PAY!" Mater charges at him, whirling his tow hook around like a mad car. Bass turns invisible and flanks Mater. With his bare hands, he grabs Mater's hook, picks him up and starts to swing it around. Bass releases throwing Mater and completely totalling him. "I don't know who Sally is, but you are a joke." The man hovers over Mater charging up his eye lasers. Time slows as Mater talks in his head. "As the sun rises and sets, I started to realize how life was pointless without you, Sally. I will see you soon." Bass releases his power and blows Mater to bits. He sees the light and drives towards it as his parts fly into the bright morning sky. Bass turns and sees his ass start to get a deadly infection from the rusty hook.

"I have to go to heal because of this shitty tow truck. At least he's dead now." Bass says

Dash recovers from his massive erection and sprints towards Bass ready to swing. Bass disappears and runs away to find Taylor to regenerate his powers and his asshole. Dash gets stopped in front of Mater's parts. Sprawled out and lying there in multiple ways.

Chapter 12: The Truth of the Fuck Files

McQueen drives back. Dash looks down at his feet to make sure he doesn't step on any rusty metal. "I don't know how to feel." says McQueen in a soft tone. "Mater was my best friend, but he also fucked my wife constantly behind my back. I guess it must be Car-ma." Dash looks directly at his lover and top. "Bitches get what they deserve." Dash licks Lightning's side mirror and walks away from the rusty corpse. "I'm glad he's dead. He was pretty fuckin' annoying." says Sheriff as he calls a dump truck to dispose of Mater's dead parts.

"At least we can thank Mater for this opening to escape. We have to get as far away from here as possible" explains McQueen. Dash hops into McQueens driver's seat and blasts away from the murder scene. As McQueen drives, Dash turns around to look at the town they were driving from that was left in ruin. Not even a week ago, the town was calm and peaceful, and after Dash's arrival, it's a plot of ruin and dead corpses. Dash feels a wave of guilt flow through his body, but he remains silent. Saying something won't change the way things are now.

Back at Officer Taylor's lab, an abandoned shed outside of Radiator Springs, Bass appears out of his invisibility to talk to the officer about his wound. "AHHHH my ass hurts!" yells Coach Bass as his asshole is pulsing from the Tetanus in between his cheeks. "Did you kill them!" says Taylor with excitement. "Not quite, this disgusting Tow Truck got in the way. I was so clo-" Taylor interrupts "WHAT! Do you realize what that means? Joey is dead. I'm working on new concoctions, and you just failed at your job." Taylor continues. "I give you fucking super powers that smell and taste like liquid jizz, and you decided to fail me!" Taylor whips out bedazzled Johnathan from his newly bedazzled speedo and turns him on. Bass starts to shake from his fear of the taser, and his muscle spasms. "I should have worked alone from the very beginning." says Taylor menacingly. "No! Please! I got that Longhorn Pride. I can still take you to victory, just heal me and…" Taylor swiftly swings the taser into Coach Bass' neck at the highest shock level possible. Bass dies within seconds of the jab, and falls to the ground. "I wanted to end them myself anyways."

Lightning and Dash still continue on their journey, although McQueen is almost out of gas. They find a station to fill up at. "Do you mind inserting the pump into my gas hole, Dashy?" says McQueen feeling a little frisky. Dash loves the energy he is receiving from McQueen. "Oh of course, my revving motor." says Dash in a flirtatious manner. Although Dash and Lightning had just seen most of the people in Radiator Springs die in front of their eyes, there is no inappropriate time to think about sex. Dash reaches for the gas pump and swipes his card. He picks it up and teases Lightning with it around his hole. "Oh just give it to me, horsecock." says McQueen. "Only if you'll show me your full horsepower." moans Dash. The boy sticks it in the car and lets the oil seep down into his tank. They both get so turned on by this, and Dash gets a massive boner just by the smell of the gas in his lover. Still in their sexual moment, Dash notices a warp hole open up in front of them. Lightning's tank was full, so he put the pump back and went to investigate. Officer Taylor slowly walked through it with his hands in the air.

"I come in peace, boys." says the officer suspiciously. Dash and Lightning didn't believe him, so they assumed a fighting stance. "How did you find us?" says Dash in worry. "How do you think I teleported you to the fence?" explains Taylor. "Ever since my semen concoction has been inside of you, I can go to and from your location, I just haven't perfected it until now." Dash starts to panic internally. "So there is no point in running. I just want answers." Taylor takes out Johnathan and throws him on the floor as a peace offering.

"Where are the fuck files, McQueen." says Officer Taylor sternly.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." says McQueen starting to sweat.

"Yes you do, metal menace. Where are they!"

Dash sees the tension in each of their eyes. They clearly had a connection longer than these past couple of days. Dash remembered the fuck files Taylor had mentioned before, but his love for McQueen overpowered the idea that McQueen could be hiding something. They continue to stare at each other, face to windshield, surrounded by tension.

"No one will get hurt anymore if you hand them over. You guys can live your lives in love, even though it's really fucking disgusting." says Taylor

"I can't. You would never forgive what are in these files, Taylor." McQueen says. Taylor starts to walk forward towards the car, eyes interlocked. Dash backs away not knowing who to trust anymore.

"JUST GIVE ME MY MOM'S VIRGINITY BACK YOU FUCKER!" yells Taylor, suddenly bursting into tears. "These files have nothing to do with your mom's virginity. Everything you have known is a lie, Taylor." Taylor wipes his eyes, confused. "These files hold the truth of this universe." Lightning exclaims. "It consists of my research for the past decades." Taylor becomes infuriated. "You're a liar, McQueen!"

"I guess you leave me no choice. I never wanted to do this, and neither did they." says McQueen.

"Neither did who? I've been searching for the answer my whole life. NEITHER DID WHO, MCQUEEN!" yells Taylor

McQueen pops his trunk. "Dash can you get the fuck files out of my dumptrunk." Dash feels up his bumper as he lifts up the door. Sitting there was the entire book, The Fuck Files. Dash pulls it out. Taylors runs toward Dash, but Dash speeds out of his way before he can grab the book. "Taylor, although sex with your mom was so damn good and I did it a lot more than just wednesdays." Lightning pauses. "I never took her virginity, and I hate to tell you this, but you killed your own parents." Taylor didn't understand. "I ran away from home the day you were killed as a human. I never killed anybody else, let alone my parents."

"Dash, give him the files." Dash hands them to Taylor. Taylor quickly flips through the pages. "You killed your parents when they were human." says McQueen. "and you also did when they were Cars." Taylor finds the page with his mom's name. Sarah Taylor, also known as Sally, and next to it was his father, Tom Ater Taylor, also known as Tow Mater.

Chapter 13: The Lie of Love

Sarah and Tom loved their only son, Timothy Taylor, although their relationship was never perfect. They fell out of love, but they made sure to stay together for the sake of Timmy's future. "One day! I am gonna be a cop!" says the young boy. "I am gonna save people, and stop mean criminals."

"Of course you are, my beautiful child." says Mrs. Taylor with the biggest expression of love on her face. Mr. Taylor grabbed Tim by the arms and swung him in the air like he was flying. Every night they would tuck their son into bed, and Tom would leave, to sleep at his friend Al Snoop's place for the night. Divorce was never an option, and sleeping in the bed together was painful for them, especially after the accident.

Mr. and Mrs. Taylor had the best sex ever, and that was the main reason they got married. The parents, after having Tim, knew they only wanted one child, so Tom went to get his vasectomy. They didn't have money to get a professional one, so they searched the Black Market for better deals. One guy was doing vasectomies for free, so they decided to make an appointment. Tom went alone to the back alleys of Atlanta, and found a member of the KKK with a large pair of scissors. Tom was white, so he didn't worry all that much, but boy was he wrong. That day he thought he wouldn't have any kids anymore. He wasn't expecting he wouldn't be able to have sex anymore. That's right, the man in the white hood sliced off his penis and balls in one swift snip. Ever since then, the Taylors couldn't have sex, there was no point for their marriage except for little Timmy.

One day, Sarah took Tim to his second grade track practice on a Wednesday. She would drop him off, and one day the fastest kid on the team, also Tim's best friend, Lightning McQueen, ran past her car. She couldn't believe the size of this eight year old's cock. It was about as long as his leg, and as he ran by, it fell out of his shorts. Sarah hadn't had a cock in a while after the accident with Mr. Taylor, so she arranged a carpool with Lightning's mom, and set up a play date every night after track practice. Tim never knew about these playdates because Lightning would be playing and dating with his mom's juicy tits. She would sneak him in the car and take him home every night after they finished. She knew it was fucked up, but the sex was so good, she couldn't stop. It was their dirty little secret.

The day came when little Timothy overheard his mom and Lightning in her bedroom, it shocked him completely. He had no idea what sex was until that day, so he googled it. That was the first time he saw his mom have sex, and it was with Lightning, so Tim thought she lost her virginity to McQueen, not ever knowing how it worked.

The next day, Sarah and Tom decided to buy a brand new car. It was a sleek sports car that was a nice baby blue. They were driving it around and testing how fast it can drive, they were so excited to show Taylor, and they went to go pick him up from Track practice. They drove as fast as they could, because they were so excited to show their baby boy this amazing automobile. The conversation on the way to the school got so invested. The horsepower, the acceleration, the max speed. Everything amazed the Taylor's. They continued in the car when all of a sudden they crashed into a rusty tow truck. They looked up and saw a young boy from the track practice on their windshield, but Sarah recognized that boy a little too well. The impact of the crash killed both of them almost instantly, especially after swerving off the road. Their last thought on their mind? How fast the car was. Car? Horsepower? Acceleration? Speed. Suddenly their bodies changed into car parts, formed together and launched them into the Cars universe.

Taylor never saw his parents again because he decided to run away from home that day, but he never found out they died in a car crash. Not just a car crash. A car crash that Tim caused. The car crash that killed Lightning. Timothy unknowingly killed his parents, not once, but twice.

Lightning explained everything to Taylor.

"This can't be real," says The Officer. "It CAN'T BE!" Taylor drops to the ground in defeat.

"It's all true. When me and Sally met for the first time in the car world, I knew she was Sarah Taylor. The day we got married here, I knew I loved her. I could recognize those titties, even in car form." says Lightning. "I caught her cheating on me though, and I pretended like it didn't happen. But I am not an idiot. Now that Hooker Mater has a cock again, she always longed for the sex she once had with him, even as a car. So, when Dash came to town, with his small tight body, I knew my Bisexual side was to be reawakened again." McQueen rolls over to Dash. "And I know he is the one for me." Dash and Lightning kiss passionately.

Taylor is completely defeated. He lies on the ground reevaluating everything that he has done from that point on. Looking over the life he has been living, overwhelmed by the Lie of Love. Taylor's mind runs amok, but all of a sudden everything stands still at one thing.

"McQueeeeen." says Taylor under his breath in an evil tone.

"MCQUEEEEN!" Taylor screams. "YOU CONTINUED TO FUCK MY MOM ALL OF THESE YEARSSSS?"

Taylor takes out a syringe of clear liquid out of his speedo, starts to inject it, and slams it on the ground.

"This is my final concoction." He saids, calm.

"And I will use it to end both of the dreams you wish to keep."

Chapter 14: The Final Lap

Officer Taylor starts to grow muscles nearly four times bigger than they used to be. Dash and Lightning both know they can't run, and they would have to fight.

"I hope you guys are fast enough to dodge these fists!" Taylor swings at Dash, just as he runs out of the way for a split second. The two speedsters don't have a plan, but they each attack one by one. Lightning sets himself up to run straight into the buffed out Officer. Lightning accelerates at record breaking speeds. He almost impacts Taylor until he lifts up his arm and a force from Lightning's cock blasts him back, causing him to wipe out.

Lightning tries to recover, moaning. "UHHH, What was that?"

The officer replies, "That is my ultimate concoction. Orgasmic Haze. I can manipulate electric charges in the air and use them to make you cum buckets." Taylor knew this would be Lightning's ultimate weakness. "You can't win if you nut every time you cum near me."

Lightning starts accelerating at him again, but it's useless. The officer created an electromagnetic field around himself, so Lightning couldn't even get close without blasting an oil leak. This power didn't work on Dash, because he wasn't attracted to human men. He was attracted to masculine cars, so Dash knew the fight was up to him.

Dash ran the fastest he had ever ran before. He knew he couldn't out-strength the man, but he could out-speed him. Lapping him, Dash ran in circles landing punch by punch, again and again. The officer manages to grab him and slams Dash straight into the ground. Dash immediately heals with Taylor's semen and jumps back up to fight again.

Lightning doesn't know what to do. He was completely useless, releasing a constant stream of cum, but he knows he has to help his lover in this battle. Lightning calls out to Dash.

"DASHY!" he yells "YOU HAVE TO OUTSMART HIM!"

Dash can see his punches aren't nearly strong enough to even make a dent in the officer, and he is already growing tired. Dash hasn't fought a villain in over four years.

Dash starts to think outside the box until he gets an idea. Dash sprints over to the raging officer, swinging punches left and right. Dash starts to dodge everything like he is in slow motion. He runs past Taylor and grabs the syringe he dropped. Dash, unknowing of what was in the needle, injected what little was left in the vile. It was warm, and kind of resembled the taste of a pina colada. Taylor realized what he had done.

"Oh you're a smart boy, aren't you?" says Taylor.

"What was in that?" says Dash with a confused look on his face.

"You don't want to know." exclaims The Officer

"I've already had an exact replica of your semen in my blood. What can be worse than that?"

"My actual semen."

Dash is pleased by the information. He tilts his head, and starts to run again.

"Oh! And a hint of pineapple." says Taylor.

Dash feels the blood in his veins start to boil. Suddenly his arms expand into a larger size, and he can see the orgasmic particles in the air.

"Good luck with your power while it lasts," explains Timothy. "Consider how little was in the vile, it will be gone within minutes."

Minutes was all Dash needed. Dash is now a triple threat, having speed, strength, and the ability of giving infinite orgasms (which is practically useless because he's so damn good at sex). Dash uses his new found power to neutralize the particles in the air so Lightning can fight again.

"You're a genius baby!" says McQueen while speeding up to Dash. Dash jumps on the hood of McQueen and Lightning begins to drive. Sparks fly from his tires when suddenly he stops and launches Dash, landing a devastating punch to The Officer's face. The Piston Cup wasn't his favorite move anymore, it was the Penetration Punch. Taylor gets crunched back, furious at the monster he created.

"It's gonna take more than that to knock me down." says Taylor. He reaches for Johnathan on the floor and attaches an upgrade to him. Taylor flicks the on button and it sparks open an electric whip. Taylor takes a stance and swings it around to intimidate the lovers.

The two charge at Taylor with full force, and Taylor whips them back in an instant with Johnathan. Dash starts to distract Taylor, and Lightning sets up his move of decapitation. Lightning charges right into the officer's blind spot. Taylor sees his life flash before his eyes right before impact, but all of a sudden the neutral orgasmic field particles flips back to a jizzing state. McQueen is sent flying again, but this time he should have hit Taylor. McQueen looks over to see Dash knocked down, back to his normal sized self. They are both weak, barely even on their last leg/wheel. There may be no way to win this battle. Dash quickly runs over to McQueen.

"I don't," he coughs. "I don't know if we can do this." says Dash.

"I can't, *uhhhhh* but I know you can." moans McQueen.

"Don't say that!" yells Dash.

Lightning kisses Dash.

"Your love was all I needed. *UHHHHH* My life is now complete."

"STOP YOUR MOANING." says Taylor and whips Dash away from Lightning. The whip striked his knees, causing permanent damage. The electricity of the whip removes Dash's ability to heal.

"I will take this disgusting being away from you in front of your own eyes," says Taylor.

"NO!" yells Dash.

Taylor slashes McQueen's tires, smashes his windshield, and jumps into the front seat of the car. Dash tries to get up, but his legs won't work. Dash can only watch what happens. "Thank you for loving me, Dash. I love you." says McQueen smiling. Taylor continues to rip Lightning's interior with his whip until he grabs and twists McQueen's key off. Lightning's engine stops. Taylor pulls it out of the socket and swallows it. At least McQueen died in an orgasm thinking about his love.

Dash screams in agony, "NOOOOOOOO!" The love of his life had just died in front of his eyes. Taylor uses his powers to lift Lightning off the ground, he slams him, causing the gas inside to spark a fire and explode. McQueen's corpse lays on the ground in a field of fire.

"Wh..why..why...why… why would you… do this." says Dash with tears flowing down his face.

Taylor laughs. "It's your turn now." Taylor shifts the orgasm particles in the air, and launches the car at the immoble boy on the ground. This is it. The last thing Dash will ever see. Getting murdered by the corpse of his sexy lover, being thrown by his not-so-sexy school resource officer (but that is up for debate).. It seemed like a wicked dream, or a fictional tale, but it was real to Dash. He was always quick to do everything, but the last thing he remembered was how quick he fell in love with Lightning. The car slams onto Dash crushing his neck and spine. Dash is as good as dead.

The End.

Unless…

"Kachow." whispers a ghostly voice.

Dash's corpse disappears and starts creating nuts, bolts, wipers, and doors, and motors, and wheels, and an engine. Dash soars through the air creating a brand new model of car that no one has ever seen before. He was cherry red, just like Lightning, and had a smooth sporty look. Dash's thoughts of speedy love caused his car transformation to evolve.

Taylor is in shock. "No. This can't be. How did you become a car?"

"Hmm let's see. Mountain Dew: Code Red, Crystal Pepsi, and some of your own personal semen." Dash uses his super speed in car form, accelerating like a bolt of Lightning, and strikes straight through Taylor causing him to transform into nothing but dust. Dash jolts with electricity from his flux capacitor in his back seat and says one final thing. "Don't ever mess with me. Dashiell McQueen."

Chapter 15: Fresh Set of Wheels

Radiator Springs was totaled. Not a single building stood after The Great War of Lightning. Dash rolled over to the pile of metal that once used to be McQueen. Dash's wiper fluid started to spew all over Lightning's Corpse.

"I won, baby. I won." says Dash with tears running down his face. He kissed the debris, and drove to help the civilians of the town.

He met up with the Sheriff, who continued to look around for other survivors.

"WHO IN THE BLAZING FUCK ARE YOU?!" yells Sheriff scared shitless. Sheriff thinks Dash is an outsider so he readies his gun to shoot.

Dash shouts, "Sheriff! It's me, Dash. Dash McQueen." The Sheriff keeps his gun pointed at Dash. "McQueen? As in the old Mayor that FUCKED EVERYTHING UP. JUST LIKE MY DAD DID WHEN HE LEFT?"

"Well no. Like the car who made this town what it was." says Dash

"But you can't be Dash. Dash was this gross ugly fuck that looked like it could be a piece of my shit." says Sheriff aggresively. "He also wasn't a car."

"I am a car now. Lightning sacrificed himself for the sake of this town. I know, as his baby maker, he would want to make things right again, so let me help clean up the town with you." Sheriff lowered his gun and agreed to Dash's request; they began their search. Dash saw a little tiny yellow Italian car looking at this blue machine on the ground. "NO GUIDO! NOOOO!" says the Fiat. Dash goes to comfort the car. "Everything is going to be okay. We will remember those we have lost today." Luigi, unknowing of this new car he has never seen before, becomes inspired and lays Guido to rest.

The trio each gets a hook, and starts to clean up the town. Sheriff starts to build a cemetery in the location where the firehouse once was. McQueen was buried in the front and center, a legend buried with his pack. They found no other survivors. Radiator Springs was as good as dead.

"McQueen didn't die in vain. I promise." says Dash to Luigi. All of a sudden they hear a voice.

"Woo woo woo…" quietly echoes from the distance. Joey emerges from the mist, waddling. Dash was in shock. How did Joey survive? He lost his heart.

"I'm BAAAACK." says Joey "but I come in peace this time, woo woo. I stole some of Taylor's healing semen, and hid it in my butt cheeks." Joey walks up to the three cars.

"Officer Taylor bribed me to kill Dash with an all you can eat buffet for the rest of my life, but he's dead now. I just want a place where I am welcomed… do you guys think I can join-'' Joey pauses with the sound of a gunshot.

"FUCK YOU, FATTY SHIT!" says Sheriff after shooting Joey right in the brain. "Eat my car ass dick!"

"Sheriff what the fuck! Human lives matter." says Dash.

"No, All Lives Matter." responds the Sheriff.

"I didn't want you around anyway." Dash says while he pops a grenade out of his trunk and blows up the Sheriff. Dash didn't want to hear the Sheriff's bullshit anymore. Luigi calls his brother, Mario. He shoots out of a pipe and takes Luigi back home with him to the Mushroom Kingdom.

All that remains is Dash. Dash and the rubble of what used to be so many car's homes. He drives and takes it all in one last time. Dash arrives at Lightning's grave. More tears start to fall.

"I love you. I said it. I love you and the curves and dents you shared with me. I love the way you expressed yourself, and care so deeply for others." Dash lays his wheel on the plate. "I take your name with pride, and when I go back home to my family in this new car form, I will tell them about the time that I fell in love with an automobile like you."

Dash kisses the headstone. His oil pipe grows with the memories of sex McQueen and Dash had together.

The sky goes dark as the last bit of sun sets on the horizon. The stars were bright, and flickered like they were the souls of the lives lost this day. Dash feels the love and energy of the stars. He smiles. A star flashes by. Dash makes a wish.

"I wish that I can cum so good right now."

Dash bursts into an orgasm and dumps a bunch of oil out of his new, fresh metal cock, fertilizing his lover's grave.

"OH DADDY!" yells the shiny sports car.

Dash was so glad he used a wish on that. After his post-nut clarity, he realized one more thing he wanted. Without even noticing it, another star shot through the sky.

Dash wishes, "I wish I could fall in love with you all over again, Lightning."

"Kachow… your wish shall be granted." says the voice of McQueen's Ghost

Unknowing of anything that just happened, Mr. Incredible is suddenly yelling at Dash about his grades.

"FUCK YOU DAD!" says Dash Parr, raging in his skin tight supersuit.

The End

Thank you for reading