Remus could see that Emma was closed off more than usual. He hoped that by bringing Emma home again, she would be more comfortable, but so far, it seemed to do the opposite. It was challenging bringing Emma home as she would grow overly anxious out of the fear of getting caught, but her desire to be home always won out. Each unauthorized trip home usually involved some form of a minor panic attack on Emma's part, but she insisted every time she was okay. Remus always made sure to subtly pull Emma through her attacks, careful to do it in a way she wasn't embarrassed by it. Still, he worried that he was doing the wrong thing for her.
He sat patiently at the kitchen table, just watching Emma. She stood silently, leaning in the open back doorway, staring out towards the woods, teacup in hand. Aurora, who had come back from a recent hunt, sat on the nearby windowsill, letting Emma absentmindedly stroke her feathers. He didn't believe she did anything more than holding the cup in her hand, just wanting something to hold onto. Emma was exhausted and had too much anxious energy, and he had no idea how to help. Remus tried to get her to talk about what was wrong, but she only gave him an unconvincing, "I'm fine," with a sad smile. He wasn't going to push her – it did more harm than good.
Elara was quick to tell him that Emma was obviously not taking the Wolfsbane Potion, but they couldn't figure out a solution. Snape made the potion and brought it each day as he was instructed to do. Through Ministry regulations, Emma wasn't allowed to be given the potion directly from Snape and had to be passed through Ward. According to Ward, she received it every day. Emma's word wouldn't count for much, nor would many care in the present state of things. Snape wouldn't make the potion three times just so Emma could have it.
With the crackdowns on anti-werewolf legislation, it was difficult for Elara to pull together enough ingredients to make the potion for herself. They considered going through a Potioneer to get the Wolfsbane Potion, but the potion and the ingredient's prices had tripled. Elara suggested missing her own doses to give to Emma, but they both knew Emma would resent the idea, and it would stress her out more. Remus was required to be on the potion for a set amount of time so that the committee on Emma's case would begin to consider releasing Emma back into his care. Their options were limited and as strong as Emma was, the pull of the full moon was stronger and affected her that much harder.
Remus sighed, standing up from the kitchen table to join Emma. He placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze, and she straightened up slowly. She turned her head slightly to look up at him over her shoulder, that sad smile still in place. Emma stayed there for a moment before bending down to place her mug on the floor and then straightening up to hug him.
Over time, he had come to associate specific hugs with certain moods. Emma had hugs that very clearly meant, "I love you," and hugs that were for when she was tired or sad. There were hugs for when she was happy or excited, and even hugs for when she was angry and just needed to be anchored. Rarely did she ever need a hug for reassurance, and it put Remus on edge to get that exact hug, disconcerted that she even needed it.
"Daddy, do you wish I was a boy?" Emma suddenly asked, burying her face in his chest and her hands clinging tightly to the back of his jumper.
The question was so unexpected that it nearly knocked Remus over. He never would have expected Emma to ask such a thing, especially when he had told her that he wanted a girl and that she was perfect. The only explanation he could logically come up with was that her question came from something Fenrir said, but even that didn't make sense.
"Sweetheart, I have never once wished that you were a boy," Remus said gently. "You know that I always wanted a daughter."
"I-I know, but if you had a choice, and you could have a boy instead, would that make you happier?"
Remus frowned slightly, holding Emma tighter. "No, of course not," he said. "You are all I ever dreamed of. Where is this coming from?"
Emma only shook her head, trying to get herself impossibly closer, and Remus sighed.
"Nothing in this world would ever make me want to change a thing about you. I adore every little thing about you, even when you decide to shove your cold little toes up my shirt to try and get them warm," Remus added with a smile, earning a quiet giggle from Emma. "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me."
Remus was about to say something else when he heard a faint popping noise coming from the kitchen table. He swore under his breath, and Emma looked up at him in alarm before following his gaze to find a Phoenix feather sitting on the table. It was a warning.
"No," she said quietly, looking between Remus and the feather.
"There wasn't supposed to be a check today," Remus said, running a hand through his hair. "I am so sorry."
Emma nodded, separating herself from Remus and grabbing her things as Remus tried to quickly clean up any other evidence that she was there. She sniffled pathetically, not wanting to leave.
"Hold on," Remus said, rushing off to his room and returning with something silvery in his hand and what looked like letters under his arm. "I know – it's another bracelet, but I thought that you would like this – I thought it was funny," he added at Emma's confused look. He grabbed onto Emma's left hand so that he could fasten the bracelet around her wrist. It was much different from her other bracelet and made with a soft and thin black leather strap with silver clasps. A small smile crossed her face when she noticed a dangling charm of a paw print hanging from it. Her head tilted slightly when she saw a similar band on his wrist.
"Anytime you need a reminder that I love you, just touch the charm," Remus said, gently touching the paw print on his bracelet. He smiled at Emma's face lit up.
"It feels warm," Emma said breathlessly, touching her charm fondly. "Your sense of humor is terrible."
A small smile crossed Remus's face as he cupped her cheek. "No matter how far apart we are, it will always get warm when one of us is touching it. I have one for Sirius as well," Remus explained quickly, leaning down to kiss the top of Emma's head. "I love you so much. Don't you ever forget it." He pulled Emma into a tight hug, pulled out the envelopes he had tucked under his arm, and pressed them into Emma's hands. "Don't go all summer without writing to someone. These came earlier today because most of them were rerouted. I wasn't aware that charms were set to keep other owls out. Write to your friends, sweetheart. They're worried about you. I'm not sure if I'll be able to see you again before the full, but it'll be fine. We'll be fine."
Emma gave a small nod, her smile falling from her face until Remus gently touched his charm again. She tucked the letters into her bag with a sigh.
"Take the feather – it'll drop you off somewhere near the park," Remus said, gently ushering Emma over to the table. She reached out for the feather and immediately froze, looking at Remus with wide eyes.
"Daddy, I'm afraid that Fenrir is going to do something with the full," she said quietly. "I don't have a good feeling about it."
The thought had crossed Remus's mind at least a hundred times, but he forced a smile on his face and pulled Emma in for another hug. "I don't either," Remus admitted, "but we just have to hope that everything will be fine. I love you, fy nghariad bach – be safe."
TMCTMCTMC
It was just as well that things worked out the way they did. Through a stroke of very dumb luck, Emma managed to get back to the children's home before two Ministry officials came to check on her as well. Emma eyed both men warily – both Aurors that had been at her grandfather's, but she didn't remember their names. She didn't appreciate being asked so many questions about her whereabouts, but she was careful with her responses. They suspected that she had been home, but Emma would never tell them the truth. Her alibi that she had been at the park fit perfectly as her jeans were stained from her falling over where she was deposited. She expected the feather to be like a Portkey, but she didn't expect to be dropped so hard onto the ground.
She spent the rest of her day going through the letters that Remus gave her, feeling slightly guilty that she never wrote to anyone. She wasn't surprised to find three letters from Hermione, another from Justin, Harry's reply, and several from George. A wide, beaming smile crossed her face when she discovered she had one from Sirius among the pile. That meant he was still safe, and that seemed far more important.
The cold that had been threatening to take over finally made its appearance in the early evening. She was impressed that her body held off so long, but it was miserable once it took hold. It took Emma a few hours to realize that her cold was much worse than a cold, and she hunkered down in her bed. Her body was starting to feel feverish, and she began to shiver, despite the warm night. She finished her conversation with Remus in her notebook and held tight to the charm on her bracelet. A sleepy smile crossed her face as she felt the returning warmth.
True to his word, Fenrir didn't appear that night. Fenrir dropped Boris off again, and Emma was surprisingly grateful to see the boy. He wasn't very talkative, which worked out well enough for Emma. She wasn't in the mood to talk anyway.
"It's not that I don't want to talk to you," he said, eyes scanning the area around where he stood, "but Fenrir said that I need to be alert tonight." Boris looked back at Emma, giving her a once over. "And you look like you really need the sleep. Does Fenrir know that you have a fever?"
"Probably not," Emma said, slowly climbing into bed. "I wasn't like this when he left."
Boris only nodded, a slightly concerned look crossing his face. "I'll be sure to let him know when he returns for me."
It was frustrating to Emma that she was awoken by Fenrir just as the sun was coming up, and she felt much worse. All she wanted to do was sleep, but Fenrir insisted she stay up for a few minutes to check how she was actually feeling. When a growl rolled up her throat, she didn't bother to stop it. It was a disturbingly feral response that she didn't particularly like, but Fenrir aggravated her. Emma decided that she hated the deceptively kind version of Fenrir more than the brooding and demanding version of the werewolf.
Emma recalled with increasing frustration that she felt the way she did the previous summer. She wasn't yet taking the Wolfsbane Potion then, and she wasn't looking forward to the stabbing pains that were sure to follow. Her skin already felt like it was fire, itchy, and tight. Her head was pounding, and the light of the sun wasn't making it any better. The more she thought about how the next two days would go, the more tempted she was to just have Fenrir bite her. At least then, weeks without Wolfsbane would be easier to manage if it had to happen again.
Her aggravation momentarily subsided when Fenrir Disapparated, but it swiftly returned when she was awoken once more. She growled at him, not caring much for words, but her growls died out when she noticed the canister in his hands. Her stomach decided to betray her when the smell of whatever he had brought back with him hit her nose. She was unaware of how hungry she actually was, and the aroma was tantalizing, making her salivate.
"That's what I thought," Fenrir said, sitting down on the bed next to her and helping her sit back up. He sounded bored, acting as if he was dealing with a petulant child, and Emma was sure she seemed precisely like that in her current state. "When was the last time you ate?"
"A few days ago," Emma muttered. She stared dubiously at the canister, feeling like it was a trick that something Fenrir would bring back could smell so good. It was even worse when he unscrewed the top, and she was greeted with the scent of an excellent smelling soup. She looked at Fenrir questioningly; while it looked to be a regular chicken soup, she didn't put it past him to make it be something like rabbit. Fenrir chuckled as he picked up on that very thought.
"It's chicken," he said, lifting the canister up. "Though we did have rabbit, I didn't believe that my Rabbit would appreciate it. It was made fresh by one of the pack, just for you. It would be best for you to eat so that you don't insult anyone."
An annoyed hum left Emma's lips, and she went to take the canister from Fenrir, but he pulled it away. Her mouth fell open at the audacity that he would do such a thing, and he only stared back at her. It took Emma a moment to understand, and her lips pursed – the only way she was going to get the soup is if he fed it to her.
"You need to keep your strength up, Little One," Fenrir said in amusement. "You're clearly not in any shape to do much. We've got some time until the moon."
It was something about how Fenrir carefully phrased his words that made Emma skeptical of his intentions. The usage of Little One gave her goosebumps. It was such an affectionate name Remus used for her that hearing it from Fenrir was disturbing. She had wondered if Fenrir planned to bite her the next night, but up until then, she wasn't sure. Still, Emma relented and allowed Fenrir to feed her like a child, trying to ignore the way he watched her closely. Even her father wasn't like this at her worst; when she couldn't handle doing much without a near-constant shake. Of course, he would help her, but Remus never dared to try and feed her as if she couldn't handle it.
"Tomorrow, Rabbit," Fenrir said simply, stroking her cheek before he stood up.
Emma questioned what Fenrir was talking about, but he only smiled in response before Disapparating once more. She had a big problem on her hands, and she knew it.
Rather than adventuring out into the city like she had hoped, Emma found herself regretfully stuck in Saint Nicholas's. She didn't have the energy, and after the very close call the day before, Remus felt it was safer to play it safe. Unfortunately, Emma had to agree.
She started to leave her room, but an owl that looked similar to Aurora landed on her dresser. Emma stared at the owl curiously, taking in its dark brown feathers with white spots. It was a pretty bird, with a heart-shaped face like Aurora's, but she had no idea who it belonged to.
The owl gave a soft chirp, holding out its leg to present a rolled piece of parchment, bound in neatly knotted string. Emma blinked at it for a moment and startled as the owl gave a loud hoot that she feared would draw attention. She quickly made her way to the owl, taking the letter from its claws, and before she could take another look, the owl was gone.
A frown crossed Emma's face as she looked at the parchment in her hands. How did this owl find her, and what made it so special? Curious, Emma dared to untie the parchment, curious of what its contents might hold.
Dearest Elle,
The sea has granted safe passage of this lovely bird! Isn't he handsome? I hope that you find a new friend in Duke. He has made the trip several times, but he has a new journey in mind. He can be of your service if needed – no response required. I can understand your hesitation to correspond with me. I haven't earned it, but I hope that I can.
It's been a while since I've written you last! When we spoke during a test of fair fortune, I brought up things of utmost importance. I can't apologize enough for the things I told you, and I hope that you understand my burden. A day doesn't go by where I'm not filled with great regret, and I hope there comes a day when I can prove that to you. I cannot apologize enough. I understand that things have been difficult, and I'm sure it's been worse with the moon so high. Bad things happen when the moon is full, and I hope you're taking care.
Remember how I told you once that Saturdays were once my favorite day of the week? I fear that this Saturday will be most difficult if precautions aren't taken. The wind is changing, and our current trajectory has changed quickly. It's best that you lower your sails wherever you are. The other ships will see a strong front, but to keep yourself safe, you must remain unassuming – weak, even. It will buy you more time towards safer passage.
I hope that all is well for you, despite the odds. Being separated from everything you know must be difficult, but your ship is still standing. I feel certain that you will find mooring on the shore sometime in the future – nothing can keep you from your destination. I'm sure that the rest of your journey will remain rocky, but you will be where you need to be in time. Everything ebbs and flows with time – you are no different.
Here's a bit of trivia I learned - Did you know that when you're sent a Howler, though seemingly innocent enough, they have tricks hidden within the envelope? It's recommended that you approach with caution, but don't let the Howler explode itself. Did you know that multiple Howlers can be sent at once? How silly! If you appear to have multiple Howlers, do not trust the apostles of the Howling one. They pretend to work together, but there is no loyalty there.
All my love,
F.E.
P.S. – the keeper of the key will be alert and wary. It would be a shame if this were to spontaneously combust.
Emma stared hard at the letter, positive that it wasn't meant to be for her, but that didn't seem right. The writing looked like Persephone's, but who was Elle? Why was the message written so strangely?
"F – E. F – E," Emma repeated to herself under her breath before gasping, "Effie!" Emma took a moment to spell out the initials of her name and shook her head. Pulling Elle out of her initials worked so perfectly that it was a wonder that Emma never thought of it herself. She skimmed the letter quickly – it was all coded just in case the wrong person found it. Emma let out another gasp and promptly grabbed her notebook to write down the letter's contents – she needed to remember it just in case.
Her writing was messy, and she kept splotching the ink as she wrote. She was around half-way done copying the letter in the notebook when she heard the slamming of a door through her open window. Nervous, Emma wiped the notebook clean, tucked the book and her quill into the back of her jeans, and let out a quiet groan. What was she supposed to do with the letter in her hand? She was clearly not meant to have it, and there was very little time left before Ward would get to her room.
It would be a shame if this were to spontaneously combust. The blue flames!
Emma turned her back to the door, anxiously trying to conjure up the flames to light the letter on fire. She could hear Ward's steps getting closer and closer, his heavy-soled shoes echoing as he walked with purpose. He had to have recognized the owl and put things together. With a nervous whimper, Emma channeled every bit of energy she had into pulling the flames together – she just needed one little spark.
While the blue flames didn't arrive, a different sort of magic decided to burst forth, and the letter lit up and turned to ash. It had been a long time since she had done accidental magic, and it was needed. All the same – she had a new problem. She stared at the ash on the floor in alarm and promptly decided to sit down on the floor on top of the ash, grabbing a book from her nightstand. That would seem perfectly normal, right?
Ward rounded the corner of her door just as Emma had herself settled on the floor with her legs stretched out in front of her. She hoped that she looked calm and collected, leaning back against the metal frame of her bed, even though she was anything but. Emma cast Ward a look of concern as his single eye scanned the room, looking for something, anything that would betray what transpired.
"Is something wrong, sir?" Emma asked, her brow furrowing slightly. Her heart was racing, thudding almost painfully in her chest. How long would she have to keep her charade up?
Ward looked at Emma, searching her face for some sign that she was lying. "On the contrary, it appears things are fine," he finally said gruffly. "Thought I heard something from your room."
"You thought you heard something?" Emma questioned. "Like what?"
"I thought I heard a snake," Ward said darkly, taking another look around the room. He nodded slightly and knocked on the doorjamb. "Keep your door open until tonight, Nickels. You should, ah, probably get some fresh air. It's a nice day."
Emma gave Ward a slight smile and nodded. "Of course, sir," she said, waiting impatiently for the man to leave. She let out a deep breath when she heard his steps far enough away. As exhausted as she was, Ward clearly expected her to leave the premises for a while.
Not wanting to leave anything to chance, Emma went into her bag to pull out the letters Remus gave her. She tucked those into the back of her jeans with the notebook, retrieved her knife, and stared into her bag for a moment. Something seemed missing, but she wasn't exactly sure what it was. Emma had to be imagining it – everything that she needed to keep on her person was with her. Everything was still in her bag where it belonged. Not thinking much of it, Emma quickly swept the ash from the letter under her bed, scattering it to look like dust, and went on her way.
She went to the park, grateful that it was close enough for her to make it there comfortably. It was far enough away from Saint Nicholas's, but close enough she could make it back. Emma pulled her notebook back out to finish writing out the letter, not at all surprised to find Remus's confused responses.
Emma grimaced when she realized that she had forgotten what chunks of the letter had said. She tried her best to write down what she could remember.
'It's obviously from Persephone,' Emma wrote, trying to read through everything she had copied. 'But I don't understand what she was trying to tell me. Not entirely. All I figured out right away was that the owl is Caspian's, and his name is Duke. I'm not sure on the rest.'
She watched as Remus's reply came back slowly, 'The Howlers are Greyback and everyone involved. The winds changing means that something has changed again, but it's not clear what. I'm concerned over the mention of the full moon and Saturday.'
Emma frowned slightly at that, chewing her bottom lip. 'I don't understand what Saturday has to do with anything when the full moon is tomorrow,' Emma wrote back.
'The full moon ends on Saturday, love. When was the last time you were with Fenrir?'
'Last night.'
Remus's response was a little slower to come, but she swore she could feel his anxious energy through the notebook. 'Tell me everything that happened.'
Emma blew out a puff of air and started to write out what happened the night before. She wasn't sure what her father wanted to know, but she wrote everything she could. Emma hesitated to bring up what Fenrir said about Jude, but it would have come up regardless. She decided to go back and write out the things that had happened each night with a sigh. It meant admitting she had been with Fenrir more often than she had let on. Emma hated the idea of disappointing her father, but Fenrir left her with few options, and she didn't know how to get around it. She wrote exactly that.
'You are doing everything correctly for the situation you are in – I do not want you to think otherwise. I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of you for doing this on your own, and I am so sorry that you have to do any of this at all. I know it doesn't seem like it, but you are doing the right things. The more submissive you seem to Greyback, the safer you will be. Take advantage of what he offers but understand there's a motive. He's working alone, but that doesn't mean you're safe from the others if what Greyback told you is at all true. I'm not sure what to believe just yet, but I do know how Greyback works,' Remus wrote, drawing a relieved sigh from Emma's lips. Her relief was short-lived as she read what her father wrote next, her blood running cold. 'I know that you are exhausted, I know that you are hurting, but you need to make it seem like you're doing more poorly than you are. Greyback is trying to bring your energy back up because he plans to move forward with his new plan. I'm not sure how to get around the rest of his plan just yet, but I promise that I will do everything in my power to keep you from his pack. But that's not the current concern. I don't think we should discount Persephone as an ally yet. She's trying to save you from being turned.'
Emma wasn't sure that she even had to pretend to be worse off than she was. By the time she made it back to Saint Nicholas's, everything about her was sluggish. She frowned when she realized her things were disturbed, but she had expected that was why Ward wanted her to leave. He was looking for evidence that someone had written to her, but she had taken everything necessary with her just in case.
She changed quickly into her pajamas and jumped into bed. There was no way she was going to be able to stay up long enough to know when her door was finally locked for the night. Emma gave the charm on her bracelet a small squeeze with a soft giggle. Remus's sense of humor was terrible sometimes, but the paw print charm was pretty funny when she thought about it. It had such a silly double-meaning that it was nothing short of perfect for their strange little family. A smile crossed her face at the returning warmth against her wrist. Nothing would ever convince her that her father wasn't the best gift-giver in the world, and she slipped into an uneasy sleep.
Her sleep was once again disturbed, but this time by Boris. She didn't entirely mind because he brought more of the soup that she had that morning. Emma let out an exasperated sigh when Boris tried to feed her like Fenrir did.
"Boris, please – it was embarrassing enough to have Fenrir feed me this morning," Emma said, taking the container of soup from his hands. "I can do at least this much. Just…don't tell him, and I promise not to say a word."
It made Boris look uneasy, but he nodded. "I'll just make sure you won't drop it, then," he said, his tone sounding more like a question than a statement.
"That is more than fine," Emma said with a weak smile. She studied Boris for a moment, waiting to see if the boy ever relaxed, but he never did; he was always on alert. It made her wonder if the other werewolves in Fenrir's pack were the same way – guarded and nervous but somehow confident. She figured she might as well try and make conversation until she was ready to fall back asleep. "So, Boris, what do you do for fun?"
Just like every other time Emma addressed Boris, he looked at her with wide eyes. This time a delighted little smile crossed his face, and he gladly jumped into telling Emma the things he liked to do. Emma had a feeling the boy didn't get asked that question very often.
She had finished her soup, but Boris still continued to talk about his time in the pack. He spoke at great lengths about how much he liked hunting and how he liked to make things with his hands. If something needed to be built, Boris was the first to volunteer. Football games were frequent among the other teenagers and the younger children, and he enjoyed playing as much as possible. Boris liked to read a lot, but he wasn't good at it. When Boris mentioned that the letters seemed to move around, it left Emma baffled; she had never heard of something like that before.
"It's all right," Boris said with a shrug. "Sometimes, I find someone else to read to me, and I memorize the story."
"Does Fenrir keep a lot of books for you all to read?" Emma asked, curious.
Boris frowned and shook his head. "No. That's one of the first things that gets left when we have to find a new camp. We try to bring a few of the popular ones, but they're old and fall apart. Quite a few of them are missing pages, and we have to make the stories up."
Emma thought about it for a moment. She couldn't imagine how hard it would be to have to move so often. Fenrir had taken to staying in areas longer than usual the past few years, but Boris mentioned the possibility they would have to move more frequently soon. "Boris, I didn't get to ask you when you told me about the pack, but how old is the youngest member?"
"Uhm, Caddock's six," Boris said. "We call him Ducky."
The desire to ask more about how Caddock came to join the pack sat on the tip of Emma's tongue, but she couldn't bring herself to ask. "And of the females?"
"You're the youngest," Boris said after a moment. "We've had younger females in the pack, but they never survive for very long."
"Why not?"
"The other males kill them," Boris said so off-handedly that it took Emma by surprise. It sounded like it was a regular occurrence that young females didn't live for very long. "But you're different. Even if Fenrir wasn't taking you as his mate, you're the pup of the alpha's first turn. You're prized. That very rarely happens."
Emma was going to rip her hair out if she had to hear Boris mention Fenrir taking her as "his mate" one more time. She would play the game for as long as she had to, but she was never going to let that happen.
"Fenrir said the moon blessed your union," Boris said from his spot on the floor, peering out the window to try and find the moon in the sky. "A reward for after we undergo our gift."
"Uh, I'm sorry, what was that?" Emma asked in alarm. "The union, bit?"
"The moon blessed your union," Boris said slowly, looking at Emma in confusion. "He didn't tell you? This moon is special."
Emma could only stare blankly at Boris, and her thoughts immediately turned back to Persephone's letter. With a flip of her stomach, Emma realized that Persephone was trying to save her from so much more.
She tried to keep herself calm as she grabbed her notebook and activated it quietly. The only two people who could get into the notebooks were her and her father – she was glad they thought to add that charm. 'Please be up. I was just given more information, and I need help,' Emma wrote, reaching for her bracelet, hoping that she could grab Remus's attention that way, even though it was late. Luckily his response came quickly.
'What is it? What's going on?'
Emma felt guilty when she saw the jerkiness of her father's writing, but hers was no different. "Boris just told me that Fenrir said our union was blessed by the moon – tomorrow's moon. I desperately need you to tell me that it doesn't mean what I think it does.'
The resounding lack of response that she was met with did not bode well. She wasn't particularly surprised to see Elara's writing come through instead.
'Emma, you are going to need to fight and fight hard. Take your father's advice – remain submissive, act weak, but trust your instincts and fight when you have to fight. Go to bed, save your strength just in case you need it.'
Elara's writing cut off quickly, and Remus started writing quickly. 'When I report to the Ministry tomorrow, I'm going to tell them that you need accommodations for the moon. I can't guarantee that it will be comfortable, because it won't be, but it's to keep you safe. Keep yourself safe, play the game – I love you, I love you, I love you. Let me know you're still safe with your bracelet – I'm not taking it off.'
"Are you all right?" Boris suddenly asked, making Emma jump.
Emma's wide-eyed gaze shot up to meet Boris's concerned gaze, and she giggled nervously. "I, uhm, yeah, I'm fine," Emma said. "Just tired."
'I love you, too. I love you both. I'll do what I need to do – I can do this,' Emma wrote back quickly. Emma wasn't sure that she believed herself, but she had to hope that she could, and she let out a long breath as she cleared the book.
"You should probably go to bed, then," Boris said, his lips pursing slightly. He didn't look like he believed her. "You're looking ill again."
Emma gave a slight nod, tucking her things back under her pillow and lying down. She wasn't sure that she was going to be able to sleep at all. With shaky breaths, Emma gripped hard to her bracelet. At first, Emma thought the heat radiating from the charm was because she didn't let go of it, but then she realized Remus was doing the same. He was just as scared as she was.
How Emma managed to sleep at all, she had no idea. When she awoke, the sun was bright, and the air was on the cooler side, and her room was noticeably empty of Boris. She half expected to be woken up again by Fenrir and was relieved that her morning started off werewolf free. Emma was terrified of what the next twenty-four hours could possibly bring. She was even more terrified when she tried to sit up and realized that was a near-impossible task as her head exploded in pain and her muscles protested. Her fever was persistent.
With a pained groan, Emma reached under her pillow to check her book. She frowned at the repetitious writing of "I love you" over and over and over. Remus very rarely showed any signs of his distress, and he was worried. His advice was still the same – act weak, play the game, stay safe.
Emma looked over at her clock and frowned as she looked at the time. Remus's twenty-four hour stay at the Ministry would have already started, so he wouldn't have his book. She held her charm for a few seconds and waited for the returning warmth. A part of her worried it wasn't going to come, but then it did. At least they had that much.
She did the absolute bare minimum that she had to. It was difficult, but she managed to pull herself into the shower to bring some sort of relief to her aching body. She nearly laughed at herself when she looked at herself in the mirror – deathly pale with the darkest circles she had ever seen. It was similar to how Sirius looked before he started getting regular meals.
The moment Emma made it back into bed, that was where she remained, curled up on her side and trying to read. Her eyelids slowly started to droop as she read the same passage three times, and she didn't bother trying to fight the betrayal. She wanted to stay up, but it felt foolish when her body clearly wanted to sleep. Emma didn't think she would have issues sleeping through the moon…provided things didn't go terribly wrong.
"Is it usually this bad?"
Emma was half-asleep already, and she thought she was dreaming. There was no reason why Fenrir would show up to Saint Nicholas's so early.
Her eyes opened lazily, unable to be urged to move any faster. She took a quick look around – she was definitely still in her room and not in a dream world. Her heart began to race as she met Fenrir's eyes. What was he doing in her room so early? She took another quick look around and frowned when she noticed her windows were shut. Emma didn't recall closing her windows as she had been enjoying the cool breeze. When Fenrir stepped further into her room and closed the door behind him, a chill ran down Emma's spine. The energy had shifted.
"Lost your voice, Rabbit?" Fenrir asked, an eyebrow arching as he sat down on her bed. He studied Emma for a moment before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"I…yes," she said when she found her voice again. "The potion helps…"
Fenrir hummed thoughtfully, looking displeased as he brushed his knuckles against her cheek. "It's been quite some time since I've seen a pup in this shape," Fenrir said with a slight growl. "You're too dehydrated, and you haven't eaten enough – you should have said something much sooner."
"Didn't think about it," Emma murmured. The room was starting to get too warm and was making her sleepier. She needed to stay awake, but her eyes wanted to close.
"Stupid girl," Fenrir muttered. "You've been killing yourself this entire time. Are you aware of how hard your heart has been working to keep you alive?"
"No, but you should have known," Emma challenged, shooting Fenrir as much of a glare as she could. "Thought you took care of what was yours."
Fenrir's growl was soft as he reached underneath Emma's body to pull her up. Emma felt like a rag doll as he slipped himself behind her, pulling her back against his chest. "Stupid, stupid girl," he tutted. "You're lucky, Rabbit. You're no use to me dead."
Emma's eyes opened slowly, she wanted to cast Fenrir a confused look, but she spotted the vial of Wolfsbane held in front of her first. At first, she thought it was one of her missing doses, but the vial was different than the one Snape used.
"You've been taking Wolfsbane?" Emma asked incredulously, her voice cracking. Her brain slowly began to wake up, startled for a moment out of her sleepy haze. "You were going to turn me tonight."
"It would have made your life easier; I was helping you. I needed to make sure I could stop myself, so I didn't kill you," Fenrir said gruffly, opening the vial. He pressed the bottle to Emma's lips. "There's no reason for you to be suffering like this, but you wouldn't survive at this rate. Drink."
Reluctantly, Emma opened her mouth to let Fenrir tip the potion into her mouth. She pulled a face when she downed the liquid, shivering slightly. Emma couldn't stop herself from practically melting back into Fenrir at the first signs of relief. As much as she hated the foul little potion, it did wonders, and she relaxed significantly. Fenrir wasn't going to bite her, and that was one hurdle jumped. She just hoped that he wouldn't change his mind, and she relaxed further as he massaged her scalp, helping to ease her pounding headache. Emma yawned as she found herself more and more relaxed. She didn't mind this, and all worries were forgotten.
"Don't even think of trying to fall asleep on me, Rabbit," Fenrir purred. "I'm not done with you yet. We still have to get your memories back into that pretty little head of yours."
Emma's eyes shot back open in a panic. She had entirely forgotten.
