Chapter 7
Eating the meagre supplied Brendan had brought with him for their short journey, May glanced nervously at her childhood friend. He wasn't behaving like his normal self and it was scaring her.
Since he'd treated her ankle, he hadn't said a single word to her, various emotions flickering across his face, his hands trembling and ruby eyes guarded. No mention of a plan, no mention of anything.
It was incredibly unlike the man.
Poking her fingers together, May glanced apprehensively at Brendan, who hadn't strayed far from her side. It would have been sweet, but he wasn't even looking at her, either. He'd tended her cuts and bruises like he'd done so many times before, but now he wasn't even acknowledging her, just sitting near her in what she could only call a sulk… albeit, one that was an emotional roller coaster.
In his white hat, he stood out against the red cliffs around them, the fiery scenery making his ruby eyes sparkle all the more brightly. May hoped he hadn't caught her sneaking glances at him.
Looking at him, May frowned. His usually alert eyes seemed to be spacing out, though she wasn't sure what he was looking at. It couldn't be her… could it?
If she hadn't almost hurtled off into oblivion, May might have felt a semblance of shy embarrassment at even thinking something so ludicrous.
Now, though, she knew that couldn't be the case. With a grimace, she suppressed those thoughts, knowing that Brendan wouldn't be interested in her of all people. They were just friends, that was it. And after today, she'd be lucky if he still thought of her like the annoying little sister she'd always been. At worst, he wanted nothing to do with her after today.
'Are you ok?' She asked, surprised by how hoarse her voice sounded.
Her friend's expression flickered to one she couldn't read before he sent her a sharp glance.
He licked his lips slightly before saying in a quiet voice, 'May… I'm trying to refrain myself from yelling at you. I don't think I can do it, so I'm not saying anything.'
Whilst his words didn't surprise her, after all, that was the classic Brendan she knew, passionate and eager, May couldn't believe her ears.
No, what surprised her was the way his voice shook, as though it was taking all of his resolve not to yell at her. His hands were clasped tightly together, his shoulders hunched and ruby eyes focused on her in a fiery manner that she couldn't quite decipher.
Grimacing down at her hands, May ignored how bruised they were. She deserved to be yelled at, especially with how upset her friend looked.
Their stupid bet had meant to be a joke, not nearly kill her and terrify the one person she'd never wanted to hurt, never wanted to lose.
She glanced up at him through her lashes, trying to ascertain the situation.
When he didn't say anything else, her heart ached. This wasn't the Brendan she knew, the Brendan she'd always loved.
Was this the end of their friendship? What about their family? What would happen to their family dinners?
Trying to keep her emotions out of her voice, May hedged, 'I'd rather you yelled at me than never spoke to me again.'
Hearing not just the pain, but also the sadness in her voice, May internally winced.
There was no way Brendan wasn't going to notice that.
She snuck another glance up at Brendan, who was looking up at the sky, yanking his hat off in his signature move of frustration. The action usually meant that Brendan needed to process and work through an intense emotion or situation.
It rarely meant good news for May.
'No, no, you're not tricking me into this,' Brendan seethed, looking anywhere but at her, his hat clenched tightly in his hand.
He wasn't yelling at her? Scolding her for being a reckless Darumaka? Going to mock her for being so brash that he was the brain to her brawn?
She felt a chill in her body, and it wasn't from the winds on the mountain. Watching him visibly struggling with whatever he was feeling, May watched him, her eyebrows knitted and jaw tight.
In all the years she'd known Brendan Birch, she'd never, ever seen him in this state. No matter what she threw at him, he'd always been there.
Fear of tentacool that spiralled to all pokémon? No problem, he'd avoid them with her, protecting her like the tiny hero she'd needed. Sprained ankle from running from said terrifying pokémon? Brendan was there, ready to help carry her home whilst lecturing her that pokémon weren't that scary and she should have stopped and let it pass. Struggling with geography? Again, Brendan to the rescue, teaching her how to read maps, berating her for not getting it.
No, their friendship had to be over. There was no way he'd react like that if everything was fine.
Her heart hurt, thinking about Brendan ending it like this. He couldn't end it.
Didn't he know that she still needed him?
'Brendan… if this stupid accident meant the end of our friendship,' May whispered, not knowing what she'd do as the tears once again stung her eyes. Their lives had been entwined since they were in diapers. If Brendan hated her now, after all these years, May knew it would completely change the dynamic of her life.
Was she being selfish? Definitely. But in every aspect of her future, May had always expected Brendan to be there, living his own life.
She'd never once thought they wouldn't be friends, even in her most delusional fantasy.
There was a pause before Brendan groaned.
Looking at him, May could see that his hands were clasped together so tightly that his knuckles were visibly lighter. On top of that, he wasn't looking at her, resting his head on his knees, his eyes squeezed firmly shut.
Once again, that controlled voice so alien to her came from the man she'd known for most of her life, 'May you're too reckless and unobservant to be taking dim and narrow paths and shortcuts. It's a miracle you've survived as long as you have, though I suppose I've always been there to patch you up.'
'I'm sorry,' May whispered, wrapping her arms around her torso as she tried not to look at Brendan. She didn't want to have this conversation, not right now, not ever.
Sure, he'd been telling her for years to slow down, to be more thoughtful, but she'd thought her luck would continue. She'd never wanted to hurt anyone, especially him.
'Don't give me your empty apologies! I've been telling you for years to be careful, just look at the state of you! You could have died, May!' Brendan spat, jerking his head up, his eyes glaring with a furiosity May had never seen before.
Letting out a long sigh, Brendan continued, 'when are you going to accept that the people around you worry about you? Your parents almost didn't let you leave to go on this trip, and I can see why! You're reckless, and you could have died! Imagine if I hadn't been right behind you? I almost wasn't! Fuck, I almost wasn't, May!'
Running a hand through his frazzled hair, Brendan grimaced, 'I worry about you, especially when I see you doing shit like this! Arceus, I'm sick of being just friends.'
Hearing the pained cry coming from the man, May's heart lurched up and landed painfully in her stomach.
If what Brendan was saying was true, then she could completely lose him, and that wasn't something she could bear to do.
If there was a chance they could still be friends, she had to take it.
She couldn't live a life without her diaper buddy by her side.
Hurriedly, she hissed, 'we can't discuss this, I can't lose you. You're my best friend, you know that.'
Pelting his hat on the ground, Brendan angrily glared at the far cliff wall.
There was an awkward pause before May shifted, trying to stifle the hiss of pain as some of her cuts scraped open.
Immediately, Brendan was on it, taking his first aid kit out of his bag again, concern flickering across his face, his eyebrows knitting upwards as he rushed to her.
By the time he was at her side, he was once again visibly fuming.
He ignored May's hisses of pain as he treated her scratches with surprising delicacy, appearing oblivious as May dug her nails into the palms of her hands, trying to hide just how sore she was.
In his normal, fiery voice, Brendan scowled, 'I don't care if you want to discuss it or not. I'm sick of pretending other girls are you. You say you can't lose me, but do we even really have each other right now? Shauna, Roxie, Liz... None of them are you and when I see you tripping, falling, nearly dying... May!'
Watching him, May blushed, not knowing what she could say to that. All this time, she'd thought his relationships had been genuine, but he'd just been trying to pretend he was with her?
Why would he do something that ridiculous? Didn't he know she was right there?
No, Brendan had to be lying, there was no way he was telling the truth.
She couldn't help but stare at him, his face contorting with emotions.
'I don't know what I'll do when one of these days it could be real. You can plummet off of a cliff and be swept out to sea. Trip over a rock at the top of Mount Chimney when I'm not here. Get tackled by a horde of zubat in a cave. Do you have any idea what I thought up there?' Brendan said, his voice back to that controlled anger May hadn't heard before, his hands trembling as he tended to her scratches.
'Besides, it's not like I can move on. None of my relationships have moved past them meeting you,' Brendan scowled, rummaging around in his first aid kit.
Moving to her ankle, he carefully unwrapped it, appearing not to notice as May hissed at the sharp pain that shot up her leg.
He replaced the prepacked ice kit, broke it apart and placed it on her ankle, replacing the used one in his bag.
'Hold that,' he scowled, handing her the compress before she could even respond.
'You think life is this big, happy journey but you don't see how many times I'm calling both our parents to let them know that you're alive. Far out, I'm practically a doctor with how many times I've stitched you up on the go,' he seethed, wrapping her ankle with a delicacy that definitely didn't match his tone.
If he hadn't been so angry, May would have definitely teased him about it, though now, she was sitting, the pit in her stomach growing larger and larger with each thing he said.
'Do you know how stressed I was when I was trying to memorise those first aid books just so I could ensure you would be ok? I've had to practically memorise them, just cause you're that unpredictable and disastrous,' Brendan muttered as he elevated her foot.
Shaking his head, he grabbed the compress from her hand and scowled at her, 'you're so reckless and unobservant, I doubt you'd notice if Groudon or Kyogre are battling it out in front of us. If I hadn't been here today...'
Blinking, May couldn't believe her ears. Had she just heard Brendan choke up again? Because of her?
She barely noticed as he returned her ankle to the top of his bag, watching his pale face with disbelief.
Did Brendan Birch really mean everything he'd said?
Surely not, they'd been friends since they were in diapers!
Continuing, Brendan shook his head, 'Arceus, with Orlando's stupid bike issues I almost wasn't. He should just get a job and get a new bike.'
Watching him run a hand through his hair, May stopped listening, having heard Brendan talk about this bike many, many times before.
She couldn't remember the last time when she'd just sat somewhere with Brendan, having the opportunity to admire his physique in the sunset. She'd always tried to hide how attractive she thought he was, but she couldn't exactly snap a picture with her Xtransceiver given the mood and the fact that the battery was beyond flat.
No, she had to settle for admiring him and taking in the moment now, or it'd be gone forever.
Realising he was still going, May tuned back in, hearing, 'then you get given a rose at the Grand Festival.'
Uncertainly, she hedged, 'Brendan?'
With visible anxiety, Brendan demanded, 'what? You're not gonna shoot me down for that green haired mankey who's always giving you roses are you? And I don't care if that purple haired cacturne loving freak has an opinion either. He drives me nuts with the way he's always bullying you. I don't know why you don't just let me put him in his place. You've always been too nice to absolute weirdos.'
Suppressing an irritated sigh, May was sorely tempted to tune him out again. She wasn't in the mood to discuss her friends who weren't there.
'And I'm sick of pretending I'm ok with us being apart. After today, I can't... May, I can't. I was so worried about you when you were going around Hoenn, especially with your fear of pokémon. But your friends seemed like they had their heads screwed on all right, so I tolerated it. Then you went solo and for my sanity I'd be playing tag with you while you were off exploring other regions,' the man faltered, his ruby eyes searching her face with such a sad longing that her heart lurched painfully in her throat.
Seeing how sad he was, May faltered. Since he'd found her, he'd shown her how sad, angry and worried her choices made him. This wasn't what she wanted, she didn't want Brendan to be miserable because of her.
Pressing her lips together, she knew she couldn't let her concerns of losing him stop her. She'd only be hurting both of them if she even remotely thought of being with someone else, and seeing Brendan with other women hadn't exactly been all that great for her, either.
In fact, if she was honest with herself, she'd been miserable.
'Latios and Latias fly me to the moon, but no wonder none of my relationships ever panned out. You'd get hurt and I'm right here next to you, worrying more for you than I ever did for them,' the man scowled, seeming visibly agitated as he plonked down on the ground beside her, sending her a moody glare.
Seeing a semblance of the man she loved, May sent him a shy smile.
Knowing this mood, May knew she had to interrupt his soliloquy before he went on yet another tangent. He was stressed and rambling, but this was a familiar routine, even if the subject matter made her heart lurch painfully in her throat.
Fidgeting with her frayed shorts, she hummed, 'mhmmm, shut up.'
She saw the oh so familiar flash of outrage on the older Birch's face as he opened his mouth to give her an undoubtedly scathing retort, though stopped him with a finger, pressing it right on his soft lips.
Touching his lips, May knew that her eyes were as wide as his, but she couldn't stop now, her heart pounding loudly in her chest.
Hoping he couldn't hear how anxiously her heart was beating in her chest, she offered him what she hoped was a winning grin.
'You're making it out to be far worse than it was. We haven't really been apart for years and I don't plan on doing anything to change that,' she smiled at him, the red rays of sunshine illuminating his pale face, distracting her only slightly from the man's ever-changing expressions.
Seeing the confusion, pain and disappointment flicker on his face as he searched her expression, May hesitated only slightly before leaning forward to kiss him, ignoring the sharp pain that coursed through her body as she moved.
Now wasn't the time to focus on her pain, not if she could possibly lose Brendan forever.
He'd said too much aired out all of their unspoken emotions for them to really go back, and if they didn't resolve it now, May didn't know if they'd ever resolve it. And trying and losing Brendan was definitely better than not trying and losing him anyway.
She saw his eyes flash with recognition as she hesitated, just out of reach.
With what she'd just experienced, she didn't really have the energy to keep up with the charade anyway. She wanted comfort, and the only person in the world who could give her exactly what she needed was Brendan Birch, trainer, diaper buddy, best friend and the one who always had to save her neck.
Realising that Brendan wasn't going to meet her halfway, May ignored the pain as she leaned on her sore ankle. Her mouth was dry, her hands were shaking, but she forced herself to wrap an arm around him, pulling them towards each other, the spicy scent of petaya berry intoxicating her senses like it had so many times before.
Why did he have to smell so good?
With the warmth of his lips pressed against hers, May closed her eyes, hoping she hadn't read the situation wrong.
She was about to pull away and apologise, but felt Brendan respond to the kiss, leaning forward, wrapping an arm carefully around her waist, his lips capturing hers with an experience she lacked.
Trying to move back, May felt the man's arm tighten around her as he deepened the kiss, his hand pressing into her back with a firm gentleness she once would never have expected from him.
Stroking a bruised thumb on his cheek, she whispered, 'I'm sorry.'
'Well I'm not,' Brendan grinned eagerly before capturing her lips in his own, his hand cupping her cheek with a delicate warmth that May loved.
A/N:
Sorry it took so long for me to get to this point, and for the delay in getting this out (I know it's just a few hours, but still haha) Hopefully the length of this chapter makes up for how short some of the others have been :)
Don't worry, their story is still going to continue, I was having far too much fun writing it.
