I listened to the following song and it fit this story perfectly.
VNV Nation = Illusion
Not Alone (With You By My Side)
Harry sighed as another distraught student ran past him after leaving the Potions classroom in tears. This time he was surprised to see that not even a Slytherin student was spared from Severus' wrath and Harry finally decided that he had enough as he walked determinedly towards the half-open door.
After three years of working at Hogwarts as the new DADA teacher after he graduated, Harry had managed to first make peace with the glowering potions master before finally moving on to become friendly acquaintances…mostly.
They often spent time together, or so Harry told himself, as most of their talks and exchanges were held over books during visits to the Black Library. Which the man had been all too eager to explore once the Order disbanded.
Harry had somehow managed to extend the invitation without Severus believing that he had some kind of hidden agenda, and Harry had been quite proud of himself for distracting the other man while he dealt with the obnoxious idiots that ran the Ministry.
So, yes, he may have secretly, and illegally, kidnapped Severus (with the man's permission), and harbored him while he was still a fugitive, without the man knowing about it, but by the time the man decided to leave the library to rest (almost 15 hours later), Harry had managed to not only persuade the Ministry to stop making fools of themselves by looking for scapegoats but also to keep the entire discussion under wraps.
Which they gladly did. It wouldn't do for the Ministry to seem like they were at odds with the Saviour of the Wizarding World after all.
That had been the first year that Harry noticed the man's complete dislike of his birthday, and it most definitely hasn't been the last since then. At first, Harry thought that it was because no one dared to wish him a Happy Birthday, or that he rather preferred to spend it alone but the idea had been discarded immediately as Harry noticed the almost loathing gaze that would be cast at anyone who dared to bring it up until the man simply made sure to avoid it all.
Each year, on the 9th of January, after classes (if there were any), Severus seemed to disappear into thin air. Harry had tried to follow him once or twice, but the man easily managed to give him the slip, much to his frustration, and Harry vowed that he would corner the man this year.
He steeled himself before marching into the Potions room, where the rest of the students had just filed out, but when he looked towards the desk, there was no sign of Severus Snape.
He felt like ranting in frustration at having the man slip past him again, but his gaze caught onto the potions cupboard as he turned around and he schooled his features even as an idea formed and he sneakily moved towards it. If Severus thought that he would evade him this time, then he just had to do what he did best…get into trouble.
Harry had to admit to himself that this was the first time that he would willingly get into trouble without a world-ending cause, but what could Severus do to him? It wasn't as if Severus could give him detention anymore.
The Dungeon Bat must have sensed his intentions because a hand suddenly grabbed his wrist in a punishing grip as he reached towards the door handle.
"What do you think you are doing?" He lowly asked and Harry suppressed a shiver as the voice came from over his shoulder. The man was a little too close for comfort, but Harry didn't lose sight of his goal as he gripped the man's wrist in return before turning towards him.
Harry allowed himself a small smile of triumph as the other man glared at him while letting him go and subtly trying to loosen the younger man's grip on his wrist, which Harry allowed only because he knew that he had the perfect bait to keep the man from going anywhere.
"I was looking for you." Harry watched an eyebrow rise before the man moved to turn and walk away.
Severus glared over his shoulder, "I am busy tonight, so I don't have time to entertain and to babysit you. Go find Draco, he's been looking for you since earlier." They both knew it was merely an excuse.
Harry wasn't going to let him escape so easily though. He'd gotten used to determining when the man meant the words he said and when he didn't, but he pretended to look a little downcast as he looked at the floor. "But Draco doesn't have a lot of practice with harvesting basilisk parts." Hook…
Harry kept his voice barely above a whisper and he felt the older man lean in closer before he looked up, "You don't perhaps know anyone else who could help then? I mean, it's been lying there under a preservation charm and it has been bothering me for a while now ever since you told me how valuable the parts could be". Line…
He could practically feel the man's overwhelming curiosity as Severus finally turned towards him. The man looked torn between sticking to his words and reluctantly admitting that he wasn't busy at all as Harry finally decided to go in for the kill, "Maybe you're right, I'll go ask Draco if he can help me…"
He moved to walk past the Potions Master, but a hand quickly shot out and gripped his arm, though it quickly gentled as Harry paused to look up at the man with an expression of, what he hoped to be, confusion.
"I doubt you will find anyone more qualified than myself"…and sinker. With that, the man moved to gather his kit before pausing in the doorway and looking back, "Well? Are you going to lead the way or stand there looking like a dunderhead for the rest of the evening?"
Harry nodded as he tried to keep his face neutral, but he allowed himself a small satisfactory grin when he was sure that the other man wouldn't notice…or so he thought.
"Wipe that smug smile off your face, Potter. I know exactly what you are trying to do." Harry fought down the need to freeze and outright deny the words, for he was sure that it was exactly why Severus said them…to test if he had some ulterior motive.
So instead he merely shook his head and kept on walking, taking the route out of the dungeons and up towards the second floor where a hand grabbed onto his arm once more and he was spun around to face a furious-looking Severus as he moved to enter the second-floor girls' lavatory.
"If this is some kind of joke, Potter, then I would advise you to stop while you are ahead," he said gravely, and Harry knew that if he were younger he would have already lost his temper at this point, but he was way past that because of the war, so he merely shrugged and walked in, leaving it up to Severus to enter or not. "It is up to you to either trust me or leave…Severus."
He let loose a silent breath as he stopped next to the sink and felt the man hesitantly pause next to him, his uneasiness clear as he glanced around the room as Harry bowed his head at the appropriate tap and hissed, "Open".
For a moment nothing moved, and Harry could feel that Severus was preparing to turn and walk away, but then the top part of the stone structure levitated and the rest of the sinks moved into place.
Harry briefly debated on making Severus slide down the chute, both as payback for doubting him and still unknowingly comparing him to his father and for making him wait three years to finally be able to surprise the man with a birthday present, but he merely stepped forward slightly to speak into the dark abyss before a hand clutched his robe and pulled him back in alarm.
He stepped back a little to silently reassure the man because he knew that drawing any verbal attention to the man's actions would put him on the offensive, and he didn't want to say or do something that would ruin the current progress. Instead, he settled on answering the silent questions that the man must have about the Chamber.
"In our second year, it was Myrtle's ghost that led us to think that the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets was here. We made Lockheart follow us because even though he was a fraud, we still somehow believed that he could help us in a way. No one could be that helpless, right? We made him go down the chute first, and then we went after him."
Harry could feel Severus' gaze on him as he let out another hiss, "Stairs". The stairs seemed to move out from the walls in a spiral form and Harry stepped onto them, followed by Severus as he continued to explain as he cast a Lumos. "Naturally, our beliefs were misplaced and he tried to obliviate us, to make everyone believe that we had been driven insane by the sight of Ginny's 'mangled' body as he fought the basilisk and won…"
He could feel Severus tense behind him. "Unfortunately for him, he took Ron's broken wand and managed to obliviate himself instead, though the impact sent him crashing against the cave wall and caused a cave-in with me trapped on the one side, and Ron and that idiotic buffoon trapped on the other."
They reached the bottom of the stairs and Harry lowered his wand to look at the ground with a grimace. "Be careful where you step, there are bones everywhere." They followed the tunnels in silence as Harry debated on whether he should reveal more or not, but Severus made up his mind for him on that matter.
"What happened then?" The dread in Severus' voice was subtle yet there and Harry turned to shine his wand to where he knew the snake skins were. He heard a silent gasp of horror and amazement behind him but still, he didn't draw attention to it. Instead, he merely enjoyed the fact that he could elicit such responses from the other man.
"I went on alone. Honestly, I don't know why as every self-preserving bone in my body protested, I made it into the hall area and ran to Ginny, stupidly dropping my wand at the same time, but another student stepped out of the darkness and I recognized him from the diary. He picked up my wand and I tried to get him to give it back…only for him to reveal himself as the Dark Lord." Harry purposefully stayed away from saying 'Voldemort', as creating discomfort in the wizard next to him, wasn't something that he wanted to do.
He didn't want to explain further but Severus stopped him from walking on with a hand on his shoulder and he reluctantly turned around to face the other man, who was looking at him expectantly, but he merely shook his head, "Severus, I don't want to…"
His words were cut-off as the man fixed him with a familiar stern look and he winced, before giving in, "He set the basilisk on me. Fawkes flew in and blinded the basilisk, the basilisk chased me through the pipes, and then I simply stabbed the basilisk with Gryffindor's sword. The end."
Harry tried to keep it brief because that was exactly what had happened. He knew that the man wouldn't be happy with the explanation, but he hoped that he would just leave it at that…not with his luck though.
Harry hissed to open the final door and steeled himself for Severus' gaze as the man froze, saw the gigantic carcass of the basilisk in question, and glared at him. "Simply stabbed the basilisk you say…" Severus turned towards him in slow, yet controlled movements and Harry nodded jerkily before trying to sidetrack the man. "I think there is a hidden entrance here somewhere…"
Harry tried to move deeper into the chamber, to where Tom Riddle Jr. had appeared, but Severus' hands dropped down onto his shoulders and turned him around. "I noticed that one fang is missing, the same sized fang as the broken one under a preservation spell within the headmaster's tower…what happened, Harry?"
Harry suspected that Severus already knew.
The question caught him off-guard when paired with his name and Harry unconsciously touched his own arm before he shook it off, but Severus had already noticed, and yet Harry refused to bare himself any more than he already had.
Instead, he shrugged his shoulders, "Why don't you see what you can harvest and I will try and find that other entrance?" He quickly moved to where Tom Marvolo Riddle had appeared in his second year and he felt around the unlit torches until he was able to pull one down and reveal a hidden door.
His laugh of excitement echoed through the Chamber and he momentarily forgot himself as he called back to the other man. "Severus! I think I just found Slytherin' study…"
The older man abruptly came to stand behind him as Harry stepped through the door and gazed at the books in wonder before he stepped in further to let the older man pass him. The excitement on the man's face was a treasure to behold until the man frowned and Harry felt his heart dip into his stomach.
Severus took a book and held it out to Harry. "What does the title say?" Harry glanced at it, "Oscure Potions and Healing curses". He noticed the extra lines in the text and realized that the man couldn't read Parseltongue.
"It is a book about Obscure Potions and Healing Curses…sorry, it seems that I didn't really think this through." Harry hung his head slightly but a pale hand settled under his chin and lightly angled his face up so that he was looking Severus in the eyes.
"Think what through, Harry?" Harry squirmed slightly at the sound of his name on those lips, but he kept his gaze firmly on Severus' eyes, as the man continued to speak. "I was under the impression that you merely wanted someone to harvest the basilisk, and neither of us knew that you would stumble upon this place, though it seems that you suspected that it existed…or are you saying that you had ulterior motives?"
Harry didn't know what to say. He wanted to explain, he really did, but he was afraid that it would reverse his progress with the man, but on the other hand, the man abhorred lies more than anything and Harry allowed the tension to seep from his shoulders as he resigned himself to telling Severus the truth.
"I may have…had an ulterior motive when I asked you...but I really didn't expect to find Salazar Slytherin's study." He saw the man's eyes narrow in suspicion.
Severus took a step closer even as Harry took an instinctive step back. "What is it and why? And while we are at it, why do you continuously invite me over to the Black Library, when we both know that you have so many other things that you could be doing, and when we both know how I treated you in the past?"
Harry took another step back and he saw something flare in Severus' eyes as the man took another step forward and Harry felt something at his back.
He glanced to the side in bewilderment and realized that Severus had backed him up against the bookcase as the man's hands came to rest on the shelves behind him, effectively caging him in.
The man paused and Harry realized that he was waiting for something…waiting for Harry to react…and when he made no move to get away, Harry saw with a start that the man's gaze was hovering over his lips before it came back to meet his own.
"Why did you do it, Harry? Why did you show me the Black Library after the war instead of taking me straight to the Ministry, as they requested? Why, when I woke once more, had they seen fit to give me the medal of a hero, instead of locking me away like the Death Eater I was?"
Harry was unable to stop himself as his eyes went wide, "How do you know about that? They weren't supposed to tell anyone!"
A light chuckle answered Harry's question before Severus lightly traced his fingers over his jaw, before planting his hand back onto the bookcase with seemingly great difficulty. "I am still waiting for your answer, Harry…"
The last bit came out with a purr and Harry just barely stopped himself from closing the distance between them and kissing the man. He squirmed uncomfortably instead and decided to simply put himself out of his misery.
"I did it because I lo-like you, Sev." He saw the man in front of him holding his breath in shock, and this helped him to pull up the Gryffindor courage he needed.
"I honestly don't know when it happened, but it did, somewhere between my sixth and seventh years…which is weird considering everything that happened during that time, and…" His words were cut off as warm lips pressed against his and he barely gave it a second before he was kissing Severus back with equal force.
His hands came forward to grip the older man's robes as he felt Severus' arms leave the bookcase, one coming down to his waist and the other moving to his neck to pull him even closer. Harry moaned into the kiss as the man lightly nipped his lip before slowly pulling away slightly and leaning his forehead against Harry's.
"You know…I kept waiting for the Aurors to turn up while you were away. I didn't sleep for as long as I wanted you to believe that night. I had a feeling you would try something, goody-two-shoes that you are, but with the Ministry being as it is, I didn't think you would succeed, and I made peace with that a long time ago…or so I thought."
Severus took a deep breath before he continued, "When that knock came on the door, I had just finished writing a letter that I was going to leave on the table for you, and because I was sure that they would have me kissed without a second thought, I tried to walk to my death with my head held high, but the only person running through my mind…was you."
Harry tightened his grip on Severus' robes at the thought of him dying and he felt Severus' hands tighten around him in return. "When the Auror simply gave me a letter and thanked me for helping you during the war…I was floored. Honestly, I don't even know how my legs carried me back to the couch but I spotted the letter and hurriedly hid it. It's strange how brave you become in the face of death, but I felt my fear of rejection return the moment I realized that I was going to live and that I was finally free."
Severus slightly stepped back and reached into his pockets before he pulled a well-worn letter out of his pocket. "I kept it in the hope that I would be able to give it to you someday, but as you can see, I haven't been brave enough to do so until today."
Harry took the letter, but he didn't allow Severus to run like he felt the man wanted to. Honestly, the man spent years spying on Voldemort and enduring everything that was thrown his way, so he was surprised to find the man so unsure now. He grabbed his arm and dragged the older man to one side of the room where he transfigured a couch for them before pulling Severus down onto the couch with him.
He opened it slowly and he felt Severus slightly tense before finally giving in and pulling him closer before burying his face in Harry's neck…inhaling his scent.
Harry…
Where do I even begin? I had so many things to tell you and yet now when it is time to say goodbye, even in a letter, I find that all the thoughts that often occupy my mind have fallen silent.
I am honestly expecting you to simply toss away this letter once you realize who it's from, but I know that it is not in your personality to do so, even after everything I had put you through.
When I gave you my memories, I didn't expect that you would be able to save me from Nagini's attack. I thought that I would finally be able to rest, but as always you managed to do the impossible and summon Fawkes…and then you left to finish the war alone.
I was there when you stood bravely and allowed the Dark Lord to kill you, still half-paralyzed from the venom and with my throat still healing, I was unable to move to shield you or to draw the attention away from you…despite the consequences…and when you fell, presumably dead, you took most of my being with you.
I waited as the Dark Lord…no…Voldemort made his speech, and I tried to bide my time to at least recover your body, for who knew what the Death Eaters would do to you once everyone else was dealt with.
The moment you fell from Hagrid's hold, my heart started beating again, and I realized that without you, my life would be meaningless. That is why I accepted your invitation to visit the Black Library, not to view the books, but to spend the last bit of time I have on this Earth, with you.
You may find yourself disgusted by me and my words as you read this, but I guess that soon that will not matter anymore…
I Love You, Harry
Severus
Harry tried to keep back his tears, but it was a lost cause and he buried his face into the chest of the man that had been with him almost every step of the way during the war. He never told anyone about what happened in the forest, not even his friends.
At first, he made himself believe that it was because it would cause another uproar in the Wizarding World, but after some time to himself, he realized that he feared what the people would do to someone who managed to survive under the killing curse now that he wasn't just a baby and now that the Dark Lord was truly gone.
He didn't care to find out, so he kept quiet about it…and yet he found that it had been troubling him greatly…until today. Severus' letter soothed aches and pains he didn't know he still had and just the knowledge that the man knew but didn't hate or fear him was enough.
Harry allowed himself to finally relax against Severus' chest. "Thank you…knowing that you were there, knowing that I wasn't alone…I am sorry that you had to see it…but knowing you were there means more to me than you would even know. I love you, Severus."
The words barely left his mouth before Severus kissed him again, the world tilted and Harry found himself underneath Severus as the man used his arms to keep himself from crushing the younger man, but also to keep Harry from escaping his next question.
Their breathing was labored when their lips parted, and Harry smiled as Severus leaned down to whisper in his ear, "You still need to tell me about those ulterior motives of yours, Harry…"
Harry felt himself flinch at the reminder and he tried to lower his head but Severus didn't let him as he cupped his cheek and looked him in the eyes, "Harry?"
He felt himself blush under Severus' intense gaze, "I-I wanted to surprise you for your birthday for three years now, but you kept evading me and you are always in such a bad mood that I finally decided to simply use an excuse to get you down here. I knew you would love Salazar's potions books, but I didn't think that they would be in Parseltongue if we found them, luckily I can translate them for you, and I wanted you to have the ingredients from the basilisk…"
A finger on his lips silenced him and the man above him sighed before moving back and Harry thought that he'd done something wrong until Severus pulled him close so that he was cuddled tightly against the older man's right side.
Severus lightly kissed his forehead before staring at the ceiling and Harry kept quiet because he knew that the older man was trying to gather his thoughts, "This is…difficult…to admit, but the reason why I hate my birthday and avoid everyone, especially you, is because it is the day that I made the biggest mistake of my life…"
Harry didn't need Severus to explain any further, so he leaned up to kiss him. "You've still been punishing yourself all this time?"
Severus swallowed heavily. "I killed…" but Harry wouldn't let the rest of the words pass his lips, and he swallowed them with a kiss instead, before raising his head, "Stop it. Even Dumbledore made mistakes and people almost believed he was half-saint. You cannot keep hating yourself…the war is over…it is done…and we survived."
With that, Harry slowly moved to straddle Severus' hips before uncovering the man's left arm, even as Severus watched him with apprehension. The mark was faded, merely discernable by the fact that it was about two shades darker than Severus' own skin.
Harry leaned down and drew his lips over the mark, causing Severus to hiss in surprise and this sparked an idea in Harry as he hovered over the mark, "Release him and disappear, you aren't needed anymore".
He drew back, knowing that Severus didn't know what he was trying to do, but hoping that it would somehow work. At first, nothing happened and Harry merely kissed the mark again before moving to sit up once more, disappointment carefully hidden, but a gasp from Severus had his eyes jumping to the mark once more.
A mark that seemed to be peeling itself off of Severus' arm like a fake muggle tattoo.
Both of them stared at Severus' arm as if the mark would suddenly reappear, but nothing happened and Severus turned to him in shock, "You can remove the marks?"
Harry shrugged in confusion, but Severus could see the fear building in his eyes before he pulled him against him once more, this time positioning the younger man so that he was laying on top of him, "It makes sense, you know. I never realized it but Voldemort always spoke in Parseltongue when giving the marks…"
Harry felt his breath catch as a smile lit Severus' face before he kissed him once more, and he felt butterflies in his stomach as they started making plans regarding the basilisk, as well as the books in Salazar's library, and in the end, Severus surprised him by asking if they could move in together.
Harry nodded enthusiastically and Severus smiled, "You know, this truly has been the best birthday ever…"
THE END
