~ Chapter 12: This I Promise You ~

Benji's POV

"Run that by me one more time," Armando said. His arms were crossed in front of him, and he looked pissed.

"We will be back in time," Victor started.

"With more than enough time," I whispered under my breath at the same time that Victor said it out loud. This was his fourth time "running it" past Armando. I had been unprepared for things to escalate so quickly today. Part of me hoped that Lera and Mila would wake up or Adrian would emerge from his bedroom just so there would be a distraction from this.

"And what is so important that you have to do it this morning?" Armando demanded.

"I can't tell you that, but we wouldn't be doing this today if it didn't have to be done today," Victor told him. His arms were crossed too. Honestly, looking at them right now… it was so obvious that they were father and son. Everything from their posture to their tone to their spontaneous bursts of Spanish had linked them together.

Speaking of which, Armando said something in Spanish that, on its fourth utterance, still was indecipherable to me. Victor sighed, same as he'd done the last three times and responded in Spanish. I wondered if he even noticed.

"And what if you're late?" Armando challenged, switching back to English. "Or, heaven forbid, what if something happens to you? Are we just supposed to do this without you?"

"We won't be late," Victor insisted. "We should be back by 2 at the latest. This whole thing doesn't start until 4."

"This whole thing," Armando repeated.

I really wanted to say something. More badly than I'd ever wanted to do anything in my life, I wanted to ask Armando if he trusted us; I wanted to tell him that I told Victor we could wait a week, but Victor felt I'd waited long enough; I wanted to tell him that I kind of agreed with Victor; I wanted to tell him that staying out of this seemed like my own personal form of torture; I wanted to say that I regretted with every fiber of my being that I'd promised Victor I would stay silent. So far, Armando's anger hadn't been directed towards me. Victor said that that's what he wanted. He wanted to pick this battle himself; he'd made me promise to let him pick it, in fact. He said he was the one who didn't want to wait, so he had to be responsible.

I hated this.

"Papi, I promise. We will be back in time," Victor told him. "Please. Let us go. We have to do this." He ducked his head for a second before he picked it up and deviated from his script for the first time since he'd broached the topic with Armando over thirty minutes ago. "I can't tell you why this is so important, but it is. It is so, so important. I want to be here, but I need to be there. Please."

Armando squeezed his eyes shut. "So help me, Vic. If you are there ten seconds past two…" He trailed off, but Victor's face lit up.

"Thank you!"

He gave his dad a quick hug before we exited his apartment. "We really could've waited a week," I said half-heartedly.

He didn't even acknowledge that. He held out his hands for my keys and I eagerly passed them to him. I'd driven a handful of times this summer – always to and from Athens – and it really hadn't gotten any less terrifying in that time. There was something about getting behind the wheel that always filled me with a substantial amount of panic. Victor hoped that it would get easier as I got more comfortable driving, but I didn't think I'd ever stop being haunted by what I did. I wanted to move on; I just wasn't sure it was possible.

"Where did you want to stop for breakfast?" he asked once he started the car.

"Do we have time?" I asked. We'd driven over to his house early because our hope had been to stop and get breakfast before my meeting.

He glanced at the dashboard. "Yeah. I knew it was gonna take some time with my dad. We might have to get it on the go if you're nervous about being late. Bagels?" he suggested.

"Works for me."

"Is your dad gonna kill me if we get crumbs in his car?"

I glanced at him. "In my car, you mean."

"Your… officially?"

"Yep," I said simply. I hadn't told him because I was trying to avoid this exact situation where he looked incredulous that we casually had a spare car that could become mine now that I could drive again. Victor had been saving up for a car pretty much since he moved to Creekwood and I knew I was a big part of the reason he wasn't there yet. Stuff like this was always awkward. "I don't mind if we get crumbs in here."

He nodded but didn't say anything else. The only sounds we could hear were the pattering of the rain and the quiet hum of the engine. He drove for a long time; I thought he changed his mind about breakfast until we were in Athens. I figured he felt as awkward as I had, but when he pulled up to a bagel shop right off campus, I realized that I'd been misreading the whole situation.

We didn't hit any traffic, so we had time to sit down and eat together. I studied him for a moment, trying to get a gage on how he was feeling, but he seemed okay. Sometimes, when I felt really self-conscious, I projected that onto Victor. 99% of the time, he wasn't nearly as upset as I expected him to be. I was starting to think this was one of those times.

"You nervous?" he asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

I shrugged. "I've been to a million of these things," I pointed out.

"Not like this," he whispered.

He wasn't wrong. Today was going to be different in a lot of ways. "You don't have to come if you don't want to."

"I want to." He took a bite of his bagel. "Unless you changed your mind, I'm going to be there by your side." When I asked Victor if he'd come with me, you would've thought I told him I was creating a second Christmas. He seemed excessively worried that he didn't belong or that I didn't actually want him there; I hoped he'd stop worrying about that once we were there. "It's okay if you did, you know. I can wait in the car."

I hadn't changed my mind. Mostly because when I'd asked him about it, it felt like the first thing I'd done right in a really long time. "No. I'm sure about this," I told him seriously.

His hand found mine and he squeezed. "Thank you."

"I'm taking you to an AA meeting. You don't need to thank me," I said uncomfortably. His gratitude felt misplaced.

"I do though." He drummed his fingers on the table. "I feel like I do everything wrong when it comes to this stuff, but you still trust me. It's a really big deal that you want me there and… I see that."

"You think you do everything wrong?" I couldn't wrap my head around that because Victor's support was sometimes textbook perfect. It was actually annoying sometimes.

"I know I do, but I'm working on it."

"Back up. Why do you think you do everything wrong?" I pressed.

"I feel like I make everything so much harder on you, and it probably wouldn't be so hard for you to talk about this if I didn't screw this up," he pointed out.

I shook my head. "I don't think this will ever be easy to talk about," I whispered. "It's not you, it's me." I knew right away that he didn't believe me because he was the most obvious person on the planet. "You'll see what I mean."

We ate in silence for a couple of minutes. "Why now?" he asked when we were back in the car. "You've been in AA our entire relationship; I've known about it for a really long time. Why are you asking me to come now?" He looked like he was focusing intently on the road which was a sure-fire sign that he was trying too hard to act like he wasn't focusing intently on my answer.

"I don't think I was ready to forgive myself until now," I told him. I traced the rim of my coffee cup. "Lucy told me I've been throwing myself a pity party, and she's right. I have a lot of trouble believing that you can know this thing about me and still want to be with me, so I haven't been giving you the chance to understand. I've thought about this a lot… while I've been skipping my meetings. Do you need a minute?" Victor's face darkened slightly, and I worried that we were about to have a repeat of yesterday. He had not been happy when I told him that I'd been skipping my meetings and ghosting Hank. It was part of the reason he was insisting on us going today. I think he was afraid that if we didn't go today then I might never go back. I wasn't sure if he was wrong. I hadn't been to AA since the weekend before school got out. It had been over two months and the thought of going back terrified me.

I still wasn't sure if he'd been more angry or scared, but his point had been the same, and he'd been right. The eight weeks I'd been gone hadn't exactly been easy, and I probably should've gone back to AA as soon as I could. I also shouldn't have been ignoring Hank. Victor closed his eyes for a moment before he said, "so now that you're getting a fresh start, you want me to come with you?"

"Yeah. Lucy went with me to my very first AA meeting. Did I ever tell you that? I think it's the only reason I actually started going; I didn't want to be there, but I couldn't say no to her. I was mostly going through the motions because that's what everyone wanted me to do. They all wanted me to be sober, but I didn't. I liked drinking, and I thought as long as I didn't drive again, it'd be fine. Then that thing with my mom's friend happened, and suddenly my problem was so real. The first time I admitted it was when I was a week sober, and pretty much everyone told me they'd known I hadn't been sober before. I can usually tell now too. Some people are better at hiding it, but when someone falls of the wagon… they just get a look around them."

"What do you mean?" he asked curiously.

"I don't know if I can explain it better than that. Hank tried to explain it to me when he first became my sponsor, but it took a couple months before I got it. It's kind of like… I don't know. It doesn't really matter. My point is when I started to take it seriously, I felt like I was in it all alone because who could possibly go through it with me? I didn't want Lucy there because I didn't want her to see how much I was struggling. Derek didn't want to go, but even if he did, I don't think I would've been able to bring him. The first time my parents came was the day I got my one-year chip. I… I tried doing this on my own and it sucked. I'm coming up on two years and it hasn't gotten easier. Except for when I talk to you about it. That's when I feel like I'm strong enough to deal with this. That shouldn't be on you… that can't be on you. That's why I asked you to come. Because I want you to be a part of this; I want you to understand, and I don't want you to be the only person that has to carry this burden."

"It's not a burden." He came to a stop at a traffic light and gripped the wheel. When the light turned green, he turned. I was surprised that we were already to campus. The bagel place must've been closer than I realized. "I wish you saw yourself the way I do. You are so, so strong."

I shook my head. "No. Because I never had to be."

He pulled into the parking spot. He had a perplexed look on his face as he reached into the back to grab an umbrella before he got out of my car. He opened my door before I even had my seat belt off. "That's bullshit," he said bluntly. "You just said that you did this all on your own."

"Exactly," I told him. "Pushing everyone away so I had to go through this on my own? Leaning on you because you're the only person that knows everything? Feeling bad for myself instead of doing something about this? That's not strong. Vic, you've done so much for me. It was so easy to let you, but I need to be able to actually deal with this."

"You will." He crouched down just a little so he could look me in the eye. "Those things don't make you… Jesus, what's the word?" He looked around as if inspiration would jump out from behind one of the other cars here. He snapped his fingers, sending tiny beads of rain toward me. "Um…" He shook his head. "You know what I'm trying to say."

"Not a clue."

"They don't make you… not strong."

"Weak? Is that the word you were looking for?" I couldn't help the slight laugh that escaped me at the disgruntled look on his face. "You have quite a way with words."

"Okay, smartie pants. Ready?"

He offered me his hand. I wasn't, but I'd never be ready, so I lied. "Ready." I held his hand firmly as I got out of the car.

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Andrew's POV

When I got to Mia's house, it was a bustle of movement. The moment I walked in, I was ordered to help out. I'd come here straight from work, which absolutely sucked without Armando, and I wasn't sure which was worse.

Because her dad had so much of their stuff shipped out already, only the bare minimum had been left behind, so we had our work cut out for us with decorating. I wouldn't have known where to start, but Rahim was the self-appointed beautification guru (his words), so we mostly had to listen to him. Pilar and Mia went upstairs almost immediately to start getting ready.

I was pretty sure Rahim found his calling as an interior decorator because he was very comfortable bossing all of us around and was frighteningly strict with his expectations.

Some kid I didn't recognize showed up to help out about an hour after I got here. He carried a large tote bag.

"Oh my God, you are literally my hero," Rahim said to him. "The day is saved."

"If this is how you feel about paper plates and those wall hangings you asked me to pick up, I don't want to know what you're gonna do when Victor gets here with the string lights."

"You said you were picking some up!"

"I couldn't find the kind you wanted, but Victor found them at a Target near Athens, so he picked up a bunch. He should be here soon."

"Wait. Victor is in Athens while we're being tortured?" I asked. Rahim glared at me.

"He was, yeah. He and Benji had a thing there. Benji said they're about ten minutes away." I wondered if Victor forgot something when he moved out or if he had to go back to do something with that program. "You must be Andrew."

"I must be," I agreed. "I know you." I wondered if I'd met him at one of my dad's dinners, but he didn't look that familair.

"We've played against each other before. I go to NAH. I'm Jared."

That was how I knew him.

"Yeah, yeah. It's a small world," Rahim said. "I love a good basketball enemies to friends story, but these aren't going to hang themselves."

See what I meant? Rahim was bossy. We got back to work, and when Victor and Benji arrived, they were put to work as well. It felt like the moment Rahim was satisfied with something, he was ready with our next task.

He didn't let up until Armando arrived and told him everything looked great. It was only then that I noticed we were missing someone, or rather two someones. Victor and Benji were nowhere to be seen.

"Can you find him?" he asked no one in particular before he rushed out of the room.

Rahim looked at his watch. "The ceremony is supposed to start in ten minutes. Any ideas where he might be?"

"I doubt he just took off. Should we divide and conquer?"

We did, but it took nearly ten minutes before I found them outside. It hadn't crossed my mind to check out here until I heard a soft thudding sound. The rain had temporarily abated, but it was supposed to rain off and on throughout the day, so I had no doubt that it was going to start up again. They must've found a tennis ball somewhere because they were throwing it against the wall. I was surprised to see they were already in their suits. "– why you didn't tell me." I could hear the frustration in Benji's voice.

"It's not that I didn't want to tell you. I guess it was just easier to focus on your meeting than on the chance that my scholarship might get revoked."

My jaw dropped. What? I'd heard from just about everybody I knew about Victor's scholarship, and it had always seemed like a sure thing, especially since, according to Mia, he had gotten a commitment letter.

"You don't know that," Benji told him.

"It took a day for a group of random high schoolers to find that video. How long do you think it'll take UCLA?" Victor demanded. "It was in that letter. I need to remain a citizen of good merit or I lose the scholarship. I'm pretty sure a sex video kind of goes against that."

"I seriously doubt that they thought to account for you being recorded without permission. Besides, maybe they won't recognize you."

"I was facing forward. If we were reversed, maybe, but you can tell it's me."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Victor whispered. "I don't know what the right thing to do is. Do I tell Coach Trevor about the video and hope that being upfront about it might mean I get to keep the scholarship, or do I hope that no one finds it between now and when I graduate from college?"

"They really might not find it," Benji pointed out. "Everyone at your basketball program knew where you were from. It was easier to find it, and they were looking for something to hold over you."

"You think?"

"I do. If you're really that worried about it, maybe you can reach out to Fitz and get her advice. She already knows about the video and none of your coaches told you it would get in the way of playing in college, right?"

"That's… a really good idea." I watched Victor pull out his phone. "Do you think I can email her on a Saturday? Is that, like, crossing a line?"

"No and you're not going to enjoy yourself until you send it, so you might as well do it."

Victor typed furiously on his phone. I waited until he passed it to Benji, I assumed so he could read over it, to make my presence known. "Are you out here to hide from Rahim?"

"You caught us." Victor's easy-going grin almost had me second-guessing whether I'd heard everything correctly. Looking at him now, I never would've guessed that he was stressing about anything. He threw the tennis ball against the wall and caught it after it bounced off of Benji's wrist. "Are you here to join the party?"

"Not for long. I think the ceremony is supposed to start like now." We were actually a few minutes past the start time, but I didn't get the idea that anyone was particularly worried about starting on time.

"Oh." Victor closed his eyes, and I was struck by how tired he looked.

"We'll be in in a minute," Benji promised.

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Pilar's POV

"Thanks for agreeing to do this," I said to Mia quietly. We'd escaped upstairs at the earliest possible chance, though we could hear the occasional thump as everyone downstairs worked to transform Mia's empty house into a suitable vow renewal venue.

She shrugged. "This place just sits here because my dad hasn't sold it yet. It might as well get some use."

"Does it make you sad? To think about the last time there was a wedding here?"

I hadn't been there, but Victor had asked me to keep an eye on her. The plan had initially been to do it at the park but with the rain, that wasn't an option. I hadn't realized how tough this might be for Mia when she'd offered up her house.

We were currently in her old bedroom. The moment we'd walked in, it became really obvious that Mia had spent a lot of time here. We hadn't talked about it, but I'd assumed she'd been staying with Lake. I was clearly wrong. There were a bunch of art supplies spread out around her room and a crumpled blanket on her bed. We hadn't talked about it, but we were both aware of it. "A little," she admitted. "I mostly think about how much has changed since then. And how much is going to change."

I glanced at her. "Does that mean you made a decision?" I asked. She nodded and from the look that crossed her face, I knew it wasn't to stay. "I'll miss you." She nodded again, and a single tear slipped down her cheek. This past summer, Mia and I had gotten really close. I couldn't begin to imagine how hard this would've been without her or how different I would've been without her friendship.

"Can we talk about anything else?" she asked.

"Sure. I…" I looked down. "I slept with Felix."

"Oh my God. Finally!"

"Yeah, except… the sex wasn't great," I admitted. "I thought it was going to be the best sex of my life because I love Felix, but… I don't know. It was mostly just awkward."

"You've waited a really long time to sleep with him. I mean, you've been ready since what? April? Maybe the anticipation made it suck."

"Maybe. But… when I slept with Erick for the first time, it was weird, but not like this."

"You love Felix in a different way than you loved Erick," she said gently. "My first time was really awkward too, but it didn't stay awkward."

"Ugh," I groaned. "I really don't need to hear about you and Victor."

Mia's hands froze in my hair, and I met her startled gaze in the mirror. "Victor and I never slept together. Did he say we did?"

"No. I just figured you were together over four months." He and Benji certainly hadn't waited that long.

Mia shivered. "Yeah, well. I wanted to, but I guess there were lines that he didn't want to cross. It was Andrew. A few months before you even moved here."

"Oh." I shouldn't sound surprised. "And it was weird?"

"Very," she confirmed. "I wasn't really ready when we slept together."

"I was ready," I told her. I didn't feel like it was too soon or anything like that. It had just been awkward.

"How was it for him?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "We haven't really talked."

"Pilar!"

"I know. There really wasn't time. He feel asleep after, and I was with my mom all day yesterday." Even as I said it, I knew it was a bad excuse. I could've pretended to take out the trash and talked to him. Part of me had been avoiding him. Who was I kidding? All of me was avoiding him.

"Do you want to sleep with him again?" Mia asked.

It was the question I'd asked myself about a hundred times over the last two days. "I don't know."

"I'm not going to tell you to do something you don't want to do," Mia told me. "If something didn't feel right about it, then I think that's an honest conversation you need to have with Felix. Not everyone is compatible."

"But I love him." I wanted to be compatible.

"I know you do but that's not always enough. If the chemistry's not there, it's not there." She let my hair fall from her fingers and turned the chair, so I was facing her. "If you want to try again, then try again but don't feel like you have to." She chewed on her lip. "I think I'm going to break up with Andrew."

I stared at her. "What?"

"I, uh, I think I'm going to break up with him. Maybe." A pained look crossed her face.

"Why?"

"I love him so much," she told me. "I don't want to do this, but…"

"You're moving," I remembered.

"Yeah."

"And you're not gonna try the long-distance thing?" I asked.

"I know he'll want to, but I don't know what the right thing to do is. Is it really fair to move to the other side of the country and expect him to have a part time girlfriend?"

"Does this have anything to do with that guy you met?" I asked.

Mia looked at me out of the corner of her eye. "I don't know."

"You think there might be something there?" I pressed.

"I don't know and, honestly, it's going to be a long time before I'll be ready to think about that. I just think that I'm going to leave part of myself behind if we stay together, and I think I owe it to myself to bring my whole self to California. You owe it to yourself to figure out this thing with Felix too."

"I think being with him is what's best for me," I told her. I really couldn't imagine myself with anyone else. Felix understood me; he saw me; he made me feel like anything was possible, even him loving someone like me.

"Then I think that means something." She moved my chair again so she could get back to my hair. "But it doesn't mean anything if you don't talk to him."

"I know. How's my hair looking?"

"Beautiful," she promised me. She pulled out her phone and took a picture. "What do you think?"

"It's perfect." I blinked several times as I realized that this might be one of the last times I would see her. Pretty soon, she was going to be gone. When she and Victor broke up, I'd accepted that we were never going to be friends, but this past summer proved me wrong. "I want to go on record and say that I hate this sentimental shit, but… I'm really glad you're here today. I'm really glad that I got to know you this summer." I sniffed and tried very hard to repress the burning in my chest that warned me I was close to tears.

"You can't cry today."

"Everyone cries at weddings," I pointed out.

"This isn't a wedding. It's a vow renewal," she corrected.

"Same thing."

She chuckled. "Okay. Then if we're being sentimental… I think you breaking yourself was one of the best things to happen to me."

"Firstly, I didn't break myself. Just my ankle… and my foot. Secondly, what do you mean?"

"I mean…" She sat down on her bed. "I think I needed to be around someone that knows what it's like to feel like your family is falling apart and also know what it's like to still want to hold it together. I know it's different, but it still felt like you got it. You got how it doesn't feel like a choice to forgive my mom or my dad."

I nodded. I'd known bits and pieces of what happened with Mia's mom from what she'd told me when she was still dating Victor, but it was nothing compared to what she'd told me this summer. "It's not a choice," I said quietly. "Not when you know she wasn't trying to hurt you."

"Um… don't tell anyone. Victor figured it out, but I haven't even told Andrew yet."

"I won't say anything," I promised. "But you should probably tell him."

"I will. I just want to give him one more night."

I ducked my head. "Victor said the same thing to me, you know. When he told me about Benji. He said he wanted to give you one more night before he told you the truth. Then you saw him at the Spring Fling. It didn't really work out for him."

"This is different."

"Is it?" I pressed. "Victor was sitting on a pretty big secret, he wanted to give you one last really good night before he broke your heart. What's different?"

"Everything's different. I'm not cheating on Andrew," she pointed out.

"No, you're not," I conceded. "I just think you, of all people, wouldn't want Andrew to go through what you've been through. Not just with Victor, but your dad lied to you too. You know how much it hurts. If I was him… I'd want to know that this was my last great night before you moved to the other side of the country."

Mia frowned but didn't have the chance to say anything else. "Have no fear. Victor's here," Felix called from the entrance to Mia's house.

"And I brought string lights," Victor added. "Pilar?"

I glanced at the clock. It was only 1:30. By the way my dad talked, I expected Victor to be late to the ceremony.

"We're up here," Mia called.

"Is it safe to come up?" Victor called.

"Yep." Mia stood up and tried to make it look like she was actively working on my hair, and we hadn't just been having a really intense heart-to-heart.

"You look great, P," Victor said when he walked in. He put the small box on the desk by where I was sitting. "Mom wasn't sure which ones you wanted, but she thought these would look nice with your dress."

"Beautiful," Felix agreed. His eyes met mine and I felt like the rest of the world faded away. It was just him and me for a second and that single solitary word seemed to say so much.

Mia and Victor talked for a minute, but I was focused on Felix. It was my first time seeing him since we slept together and… I was surprised by how much I'd missed him despite the fact it had only been two days.

I didn't look away until Victor let out a disgruntled sound, grabbed Felix's wrist, and pulled him from Mia's bedroom.

"Wow. That was a crazy amount of sexual tension," Mia told me.

"Huh?" I questioned.

"Whatever that was that just happened? That wasn't a moment between two people with no chemistry. You've gotta talk to him. I'll talk to Andrew before the reception if you talk to Felix."

"Deal."

"Now, look up." I missed that at some point, she'd broken out the make-up. "We don't have much time."

I obediently listened to her.

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Armando's POV

I waved Victor over when he and Benji got inside. "I was wondering where you disappeared to."

He shrugged. "Is everything ready?"

"Yeah. I was about to ask everyone to find their seats." A lot of people had already sat down, but some of our family was still mingling. "Then we need to send someone to grab your mom."

"I can go get her," Benji offered.

"If you wouldn't mind."

Benji kissed Victor before he bounded up the stairs. "You good?" I asked.

He looked troubled. "Yeah. Sorry."

"No one's given you a hard time, have they?" This was the first time our families had gathered in a long time, and both me and Isa had been nervous for what could happen.

Victor shook his head, but I wasn't sure I believed him. I didn't have time to press him because Benji was back down. "She's ready. She's just waiting for ya'll to be ready."

I nodded. As loudly as I could without shouting, I said, "thank you for everyone that joined us today. If everyone could find their seats, we'll be getting started soon."

I felt like I had the day I'd married Isa: terrified of whatever the future may hold but utterly confident in Isa and our love. On our wedding day, Isa wore her mother's wedding dress. She hadn't wanted to and, eventually, only agreed with the understanding that she'd be able to alter the dress to make it more her.

By the time she and Lera had finished with it, it was the perfect blend of Isa and her mother. She'd been breathtaking. My first glance of her had been when they opened the door so she could begin her procession down the aisle of St. Mary's Church. It felt like my heart stopped and didn't start up again until her father placed her hand in mine.

Today, she wore a cream-colored dress, and it wasn't her dad who walked her toward me but Victor. I glanced toward the empty seat next to Benji, half expecting to still see Victor sitting there. I hadn't noticed him leave nor had I known this was the plan. I wasn't sure if Isa had known and had kept it from me or if this had been a surprise on Victor's part.

Victor didn't immediately take a seat; instead, he turned to face everyone. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and very clearly started to read from something on it. "Thank you to everyone that has joined us today. My brother, sister, and I are so excited to watch our parents renew their vows today. To start us off, Adrian is going to read a passage on love."

I met Isa's eyes, and she looked as flummoxed as I felt. I couldn't believe they'd been conspiring behind our backs. When had they found time to do this? Victor had only been home a week and saying he was home was discounting that he was back to work and had spent nearly every waking minute with his friends or Benji.

Adrian approached the front of the room. Victor squeezed his shoulder before he passed him his phone and went back to his seat. Adrian read a Bible passage; the same one that was read at our wedding, in fact.

It wasn't impossible that they could've figured it out, but I couldn't figure out how they would've managed. They hadn't asked me, and we never talked about that part of our wedding, but it felt unlikely that it was a coincidence. I didn't know how many of our relatives would actually remember the readings. Maybe Lera would've remembered but that was a big maybe.

I preferred it this time around. I thought it was because our kids had pulled this together, and it meant something different coming from Adrian.

When he finished, he pulled up a chair behind us and Pilar replaced him. I thought they were maybe fully replicating our original mass, but she read a beautiful poem that I'd never heard before. If the look on Isa's face was anything to go off of, I was sure would soon be displayed in our living room.

"Your turn," Pilar murmured before she passed Isa a piece of paper and went back to her seat.

This part, at least, we'd planned. I was going to read my vows first because Isa had asked if I wanted to go first and my response of "sure" had solidified that plan.

A few nights ago, Victor and I had spent hours working on these vows after Isa had fallen asleep and after he'd managed to hang up on Benji. "Hey, Isa." A vibrant smile spread across her face. It made her look like she was practically glowing. "It would be easy for me to make the same promises I made twenty years ago. It would be easy, but it wouldn't be right. When we were twenty-one, I had no idea our life together would turn out like this. The promises I made then were made with the naivety of first love and young love. We are still young, despite what our children might think, but we have long since shed the naivety we once had. So, the promises I am about to make, I am promising with clarity and with all of the conviction in my heart."

I coughed to clear my throat and find my place in my vows. "I promise to always be there for you and support you. I promise to always make time for just the two of us and to give our marriage room to thrive. I promise to continue to learn with you and be inspired by you. I promise to try to love as deeply as you do. I promise to challenge you and to learn when you challenge me. I promise to never call you irrational even if that's what you're being." I heard faint chuckles throughout the room. "Above all else, I promise to love you for the rest of our lives. This I promise you, Isa."

I pocketed the piece of paper. Isa's grip on my hand tightened. Moisture glistened in her eyes, and she had her lips sucked in like she was trying very hard not to cry.

"I should have gone first." She wiped the tears from her eyes, and I chuckled quietly. "Mando." Isa's hands shook as she tried to unfold the piece of paper. Once she did, she held it at her side. "I've spent weeks figuring out the perfect words to say to you today. I got advice from our kids, our friends, and our family just to make sure that I captured exactly how I felt about everything we've been through in the last twenty years. I can't read the vows I've written." She let the paper fall to the ground. "We're not the same people we were when we got married. We are stronger, and part of our strength comes from the children we brought into this world. Our three perfect children who always find ways to surprise us." She shot them an accusatory look. "And remind us that our love far extends beyond the two of us. So, I can't read my vows to you because today's not just about us. It's about our whole family. So, Victor, Pilar, Adrian… could you join us up here?"

I looked toward where they were sitting. Benji looked like he'd been in the process of whispering something to Victor, Adrian's elbows rested on his knees, and he held up his head with both of his hands, and Pilar sat and held Felix's hand in both of hers. It only lasted a moment because they rose in response to Isa's words. She waited for them to join us then tsked as she rearranged them.

She looked at each of us in turn. "You all are my world. Before I make any vow to you, I have to first thank you. Thank you for your patience and your understanding and your love. Having all of you in my life has changed me immeasurably. Thanks to all of you, I have learned how to be more open-minded; I have learned how to forgive and have put my faith in all of you to forgive me as well; I have learned how to become someone worthy of your love. I recognize that gift, and I thank you."

Isa took a deep breath. "My promise to you is a short one but a big one. I promise that you can count on me." That must've been someone's cue because the sounds of a guitar floated toward us. "If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea," Isa started.

She blew it away. There couldn't be a dry eye in the room. I picked up the piece of paper and couldn't help my laugh when I saw it was blank. "Cheater," I said softly. She grinned back at me before she kissed me.

There was thunderous applause around us.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Victor's POV

The earliest possible chance, I found Benji. "I can't believe this. How… you… how?" I demanded. He was standing there with a stupid smile on his face like he'd known that I would be an incoherent shocked mess. His guitar rested by his side now that he was no longer playing.

"It came together pretty quickly," he admitted. "Your mom texted me on Thursday after dinner. She said that she wanted me to be a part of this and asked me if I'd be interested in performing a song. I'd learned that one with the old band, so I just needed to brush up on it."

"It was amazing." My hand found his. "You're amazing."

He grinned before he started to lean in then stopped. "Sorry," he murmured. I didn't miss the pained look that spread across his face.

In that moment, I felt so many things: shame that we'd had to talk about limiting our intimacy today in order to ensure my parents' day went smoothly, shame that part of me was scared to kiss him, anger that kissing my boyfriend could create drama, disgusted with the ignorance that we'd always face, still a little hazy that my mom loved him enough to make him part of her vows, so in love with Benji that I wanted to take a risk.

I hated this. We were still surrounded by my family that was definitely divided in their acceptance of my relationship with Benji, and I didn't want to tempt fate. More than I didn't want to tempt fate, I knew how hard this was for Benji. It was an impossible situation, but it shouldn't be. Who I loved shouldn't matter to anyone else, and I hated that it did.

I brought his hand to my cheek. "I love you. Like a lot." He smiled. "I'm sorry that today is going to suck a little. If you need to, like, go outside and make out in the rain, we can." Benji snickered. Part of me hoped he would take me up on my offer, but before he could say anything else, my aunt got to us.

"Hola," Tia Lera said before she kissed my cheek. "There's someone I want you to meet."

She held her arm out to me and gingerly passed me Mila. Mila was wide awake and the moment I held her, I was in love. My aunt and Mila were staying at my apartment, but they'd gotten in after I left for Benji's yesterday and had still been asleep when we'd stopped by this morning, so this was my first time meeting Mila in person and not through a screen. "Mila," I cooed. She blinked and yawned so big it seemed to ripple throughout her whole tiny body. I couldn't help my laugh. "She's perfect."

I offered Mila my finger and she wrapped her whole hand around me. Oh my God.

I honestly forgot Benji was next to me until he said, "you're good with her."

"Thanks," I said with a small smile.

"He's right," Tia Lera acknowledged. Mila yawned again and blinked several times. Her mouth opened a little.

"I think she's getting sleepy," I whispered.

"If she falls asleep with you, you're stuck with her. Nothing is worth the risk of waking her up. I'm impressed she's not freaking out right now. You should've seen her with Pilar yesterday." We watched her for a minute as she fell asleep. I didn't think there was anything more soothing than a sleeping baby. "Benji, dear," my aunt said, breaking the silence. "Do you think you could get me some water?"

"Of course." He squeezed my elbow. "I'll be right back."

I watched him go. Something was different between us now. Good different. He was intercepted by one of my cousins, and I knew he'd be a while. He didn't look like he needed me to come to his rescue. "It's amazing to see you with her. It reminds me of the first time I held you." I looked at her curiously. "You were a tiny thing. You came early; we all thought you were going to be late because Isa was carrying so small the whole time. She barely looked pregnant until a few weeks before you were born, but then with Pilar she looked nine months pregnant at eight weeks, so it balanced itself out. You were just a week early, but you were barely six pounds. Your mami passed you to me, and it was hard to believe I was holding anything. It was like you were made of air. I was in love right away." She grinned. "I came over the day you got home, and Isa gave me a little gift. It's from Victor, she told me." She chuckled. "Like you went to the mall and picked it out or something. You couldn't even stay awake more than a few minutes. I wish this one had that problem."

"What did she get you?" I asked curiously. I'd never heard this story before.

"A necklace. It said madrina on it."

"Oh. It was your godmother gift," I realized.

She nodded. "I didn't know before that. I mean, I figured I had a pretty good shot at it. She liked me better than your father's sister."

I snorted. "Sorry."

She shrugged. "It was true."

"That's really sweet. The gift. Not the other thing."

She chuckled. "It was. It's really special to me. I wore it when you got baptized and I still wear it sometimes." She tugged on the chain around her neck so I could see the silver, cursive writing. "So. There's a reason I told you this."

She handed me a small envelope that I hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Uh. Thanks?"

"Open it." I fumbled with the flap one-handed and pulled out the wooden beaded bracelet inside. "I thought this was a little more up your alley than a necklace."

I stared at it until Benji got back. He picked up the little wooden charm at the bottom of the bracelet. "Padrino," he read. "What does that mean?"

I didn't answer him right away. "Is this even allowed?" I asked her.

"There are no rules against it," she confirmed. "You just have to be 16, belong to a church, and have a valid marriage. One day that could hypothetically be a problem but that's a long way off and by then, what are they going to do? Revoke her baptism? No, it'll be fine."

"I didn't think the church would be thrilled to have someone like me…" I trailed off.

"I don't care what the church says," she said adamantly.

"But when she gets christened… Benji." I looked at him. He looked so clueless.

"I talked to the priest about that," she admitted. "While he encouraged me to find someone else, he also said that there was nothing that expressly prohibited me from choosing you."

I looked back down at the necklace. "You've been… really amazing about me. Ever since you found out. But this… why me?"

Tia Lera frowned. "You know that I was still dating Jorge when you were born?" I nodded. Our mom had told us about Jorge when she felt we were old enough to know how bad he was to our aunt. She'd been with him for years and broke up with him when I was still really young. "I used to think that I'd never find someone better than him, but you made me believe, Vic. You made me believe that I was worth more than that. You made me want to be better. You put your complete faith in me. I remember this one time. You were… thirteen months, I think. Your mami was going crazy because you refused to walk. You'd do it if you could hold onto our fingers, but you wouldn't do it on your own. Well, one day, I was over. Your mom was trying desperately to get you to take your first steps. 'Just two, Vic' she kept begging. So, I stood you up. And took a few steps back. I told you I got you. I don't think you knew what it meant, but you took your first steps towards me. I broke up with Jorge that night. Isa always said that I broke up with him because I was ready to but that's not true. It's just that, when I was babysitting you, I felt so loved and I never felt that way with him. You saved me from myself and from a life I didn't want to be living. You made me want more. When I realized you were gay… it didn't change that. It helped that you seemed so happy when you were with Matt."

Benji choked on his water. I probably would have let it go, but I knew Benji was always a little bit jealous of Matt. It was ridiculous because I literally hadn't seen or talked to Matt since we'd stopped in Texas on the way to Vegas, but I thought Benji had lost his usual rational nature when Matt was involved. Maybe he just didn't have it left in him after he had to exert so much effort to be supportive of my friendship with Rahim. "I don't know where this came from, but I never liked Matt like that."

My aunt looked confused. "Really? You just always seemed really friendly with him."

"Yeah. That's it. Friendly."

"Boy, did I misread that." She looked thoughtful. "So, when I walked in on you two and you were getting dressed…"

I couldn't begin to narrow that down, but I saw Benji's eyes narrow. "I don't know," I told her honestly. "That could've been after basketball or after he spent the night. He was my best friend but that was it. He didn't even know I was gay until we went on our road trip."

"Huh. Good to know." She shook her head. "So, what do you say? I can't imagine a better person to be Mila's godfather."

I traced the letters one more time. "Thank you," I said seriously.

"No. Thank you." She hugged me gently. "Do not wake her up."

"What's going through your head?" Benji asked quietly.

"Don't I wish I knew?" I muttered. I actually felt like my brain was empty, like there had been too much to process lately.

He didn't push me, and I was grateful. "You really do look very natural with her."

I looked down at Mila. "I'd offer to let you hold her, but I think Lera might murder me if I wake her up."

He didn't smile, and I wasn't sure if that had to do with my aunt talking about Matt. "I can wait," he assured me.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Lake's POV

"Why is Victor's family so big?" I muttered to Lucy. I felt like we were surrounded.

Lucy was unfazed as she chuckled. "You say that as someone with the smallest family in existence," she pointed out. "Not everyone has two parents who are only children." She scanned the crowd one more time before her eyes landed on me. "Have I mentioned that you look really beautiful today?"

"Maybe a few times," I told her. Honestly, I loved it. The first time, I could've passed it off as a pleasantry because I'd been a little speechless when I saw Lucy in her bowtie and suit, but then it kept happening like the words couldn't help but spill out of her.

"Well, you do." Her hand traced my cheekbones.

"Careful."

"I don't care. I don't have to live with his family," she pointed out.

I held her hand to my cheek. "Can we just stay right here forever?" I asked her quietly.

"Forever," she agreed.

Forever was really short, apparently. Just a few minutes later, Lucy scrunched up her eyebrows. "There's Benji. He's going upstairs."

"He's probably putting his guitar away."

Lucy nodded. "Yeah, probably."

I snorted. "Go on. I want to check on Mia anyway."

It only took me a moment to find Mia. She was standing to the side with a pensive look on her face. Andrew was standing next to her and had his arms crossed. "Hey," I said cheerfully when I approached her.

"I'll get you something to drink," Andrew said before he kissed her cheek and left us.

"What was that about?" I asked.

Mia shrugged. "He thinks I'm in a weird mood."

I studied her for a moment. She did kind of seem off. I wasn't sure if I just felt that way because I was looking for something or if she was actually off. "Are you?" She opened and closed her mouth before she shrugged again. Something was definitely weird. "Come on."

I grabbed her hand and pulled her after me until we climbed the stairs. We ended up sitting at the top of the stairs. Mia flattened out her dress for a moment before she said. "I have to tell you something." She was looking up at the ceiling.

"You're moving to California," I said quietly.

"How'd you know?" she asked.

"You have a tell. You've been really over the top with spending time with me lately. I kind of figured that might be why." The signs had all been there; I'd tried to convince myself that she would've told us by now since she'd gotten back from California over a week ago, but I think I knew. I didn't feel surprised right now, just sad. I wasn't sure if she hadn't made up her mind until now or if she'd been avoiding telling us.

"I really feel like I have to do this."

I nodded and quickly wiped under my eyes. "Okay. If this is what you need to do… then it's what you need to do. I'm going to miss you so much!"

Mia hugged me tightly. "You're not going to have the chance to miss me. I'm going to be back all the time. At least once a month. I can't leave behind everything here."

"Like Andrew?" I teased. Mia made a face. "Oh, God. What happened?"

"I don't feel like it's fair to him to make him do the long-distance thing."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Does this have anything to do with Mr. Six-Pack that you met in Cali?" I'd seen the pictures, and Mia had looked so happy with a group of people that she'd only known for a few days and, objectively, Tito was hot AF.

Mia shook her head. "No, I think… I think I need to be by myself for a while. I'm not the same person I was when I left Georgia, and I think I need to figure out who I am now and who I want to be. Mr. Six-Pack… Tito, he owns this art studio where they give art lessons to little kids that can't afford to go to actual programs. He offered me a job. I can't think about being with anyone but Andrew. I don't want to break up with him because I really love him, but it doesn't feel right to stay with him."

I frowned. "You have a tendency to push people away when you're afraid it won't work out," I said slowly. "Are you sure that's not what you're doing?"

"No, I'm not," Mia admitted. "All I can say is this feels different. Who knows, maybe I'll realize that it's just an excuse one day, but I feel like we owe each other this space."

"Okay." I couldn't wrap my head around that, but I also wasn't being faced with the same decision she was. "I want to meet Mr. Six Pack."

Mia chuckled. "Okay. You can come visit anytime. Seriously. The people I met in California are great, but they're not you. Things are going to be so weird without you."

"I know. I am pretty irreplaceable."

Mia gripped my wrists and looked at me seriously. "You are. I haven't been the friend you deserve the last few years, but you are the best friend I've ever had and will ever have. I love you, Lake."

She pulled me into a hug and, for a moment, we just held each other. When Mia pulled back, she said, "I have something for you. I was going to tell you and Andrew tomorrow, but… now that you know. I can still wait if you don't want it now."

"Are you kidding? Of course, I want it." I had no idea what it could be, but I knew I needed to see it now.

I followed her to her bedroom. She opened the door. "Jesus," she muttered. She immediately spun around.

I watched Benji and Victor jump apart. Benji's face looked like it was on fire, and Victor looked flustered. I couldn't help the laughter that ripped out of me. "We were just putting Benji's guitar away," Victor told us. Liar. But it didn't look like they were doing much more than kissing. That was enough though because they had been kissing with a really uncomfortable intensity.

Lucy came out of the bathroom. "Really? You were doing that while my girlfriend was in the bathroom? Do you have any boundaries?"

Lucy looked between Benji and me confused. "What did I miss?"

Before we could say anything, Adrian came into the room. "Dad's looking for you," he said to Victor. "He told me to tell you he talked to Tia Rita."

Victor groaned. "Of course, he did," he grumbled. I had no idea what was going on. "Is it cool if Benji hangs out in here for a bit?"

To my surprise, Benji was the one who answered. "No, it's okay. I'll go with you."

Victor studied him for a moment before he nodded. They left without another word. I didn't bother to ask what happened. Mia wouldn't know, and I knew Lucy wouldn't tell me.

Adrian still lingered in the doorway. "I think they're going to start serving food soon." Then he too disappeared.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Rahim's POV

I stared at Jared horrified. "He told you?" I asked incredulously. This had been the last thing I expected. Why the hell would Victor tell Jared about Harold's wedding?

"In defense of him –"

"No, there's no defense," I interrupted. "He shouldn't have told you. How did this even come up?"

"It came up weeks ago."

That stopped my angry tirade. "What?"

"He told me about it at the beginning of July. Apparently, calling his relationship a fairy tale is really triggering, so he told me all about how they took their broken relationship and turned it into this."

He wasn't wrong. I thought everyone had been on the other side of his wrath at some point. "Oh."

"Yeah. And that's not the only thing he told me about you, you know. Whatever happened at that wedding, it's really obvious that he loves you." Jared squeezed my hand. "If I'm being honest, I think I knew that Victor was going to try to set us up because he talked about you all the time but not like he talked about Benji."

"How, uh, how did he talk about me?" I asked curiously.

"Kind of like he was pitching you, and I didn't try to stop it. I wanted to find out if you were as great as he made you seem."

"Do I live up to the hype?" I tried to sound flirty and like it didn't matter, but it did matter. It mattered so much to me.

"The hype doesn't live up to you," he said seriously. He tilted my chin just slightly and pressed his lips to mine.

For a moment, I felt like I lived in that heartbeat. I lived in that world of potential and first kisses. But I only lived there for a moment because then his hand went to the crook of my back and my hand went to his cheek. His free hand found mine, and it felt like little existed outside of that.

"Ow, ow," Ryker crowed. Without breaking the kiss or fully pulling my hand away from the side of his face, I gave them the middle finger.

Jared must've known what I did because his chuckle broke through the kiss. He pulled back and I became aware that the world wasn't just the two of us. We weren't in the middle of Mia's massive family room turned dance floor, but anyone could see us if they looked around. I took a step back. "Sorry," I muttered.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Why are you sorry? Was that not okay?"

"No, it was great." Honestly, I couldn't imagine anything more okay. "I figured you wouldn't want to."

"If I didn't want to, I wouldn't have kissed you."

"But you're not out." I knew he knew that, but I felt like maybe he'd forgotten.

"No, I'm not," he agreed. "And I'm not really sure when I'll be ready to start telling people. Once my brother knows, it'll happen quickly, and I don't want that yet but that doesn't mean I want to hide this. We can still go on dates and hang out… if you want."

"I mean… yeah. Of course, I want that, but what if someone sees you?"

"Then someone sees me," he said with a shrug.

Huh. "Okay," I said simply. Before we could talk about anything else, Victor found us. He was still holding the cutest little baby I'd ever met in my life.

"Hey, have you seen Benji?" he asked. He looked a little keyed up.

"No." Victor let out a frustrated sigh.

"You okay?" Jared asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. All good." The look on Victor's face only darkened before he stalked away.

"That was weird," I muttered.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Felix's POV

"You okay?" I asked Pilar. She'd been really quiet today. I'd grabbed a chair before they started rearranging the set-up from the ceremony, so she'd be able to sit down. Her crutches rested against the wall behind her. We were in what I could only describe as a cocktail hour while they set up for dinner.

"Yeah. I'm just tired. We didn't get much sleep last night." She frowned. "Actually, do you think we could sneak into the dining room and talk? It's kind of noisy in here."

"After you." I motioned her ahead of me. We slipped through a set of doors. I'd helped with the decorations, but it was only seeing them in contrast with all the tables that I could fully appreciate what we'd managed to throw together. Pilar and I took a seat at one of the tables that looked fully set. The people bustling around us paid us no attention, and no one asked us to leave. "What's up?" I asked curiously.

She looked down at the table. "Did you know Mia's moving to California?"

I'd had no idea. "Are you okay with that?"

"I kind of have to be. It's not my decision."

"Still. You got so close with her this summer."

Pilar nodded. "I knew that this could be coming, but I still feel like it came out of nowhere." She sighed. "Is it selfish to say that I wish she was staying?"

"You're one of the most selfless people I know. If you are being selfish, it's about time," I teased. A reluctant smile flashed across her face. As soon as it appeared, it was gone. "When does she leave?"

"I didn't think to ask." She looked troubled. "I'm not sure when her school year starts or if she's even going to start on time."

"Maybe she doesn't know yet," I suggested. "I'm sorry, P. That sucks." I pulled her into a hug and kissed the side of her head.

"In more way than one."

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

She looked at me for a long time. Long enough that I began to feel uncomfortable which was saying something because I had a particular affinity for making other people uncomfortable and that had given me a very high discomfort threshold. "We can talk later," she said. She stood up but didn't walk away.

"Or we can talk now. What's going on?"

"It's nothing. This isn't the time; I shouldn't have said anything."

"But you did," I pointed out.

"You won't drop it for now?"

"No." Because I felt the need to justify, I rapidly explained, "if we don't talk about whatever this is, I'm going to spend the next several hours trying not to look or act panicked, and I'm just going to start to assume the worst. I don't want that."

She sat back down and nodded. "Okay. I wanted to talk to you about Thursday."

For a moment, I thought I'd forgotten that we'd made plans for this upcoming Thursday. I was about to tell her that I wasn't sure what she was talking about when I realized there was another Thursday she could be talking about. She was right. We hadn't talked. She had stuff to do with her parents and family all day yesterday, and we'd been running around this morning. "Oh." In retrospect, it probably should have been obvious that this was what she wanted to talk about.

"Did you… I don't know. Find it awkward?" she asked.

"No," I told her. "I thought it was great." She was still looking at the table. "Did you?"

"A little," she admitted. She thrummed her fingers on the table for a moment before she looked up at me. "More than a little. I don't know if it was because we waited months to be able to sleep together or…" She took a deep breath. "I love you so much, and I want to try again, but I also wanted you to know that this is where I'm at right now."

I had not seen that coming at all. I'd just assumed we were on the same page. "Um, okay. I'm really glad you told me that." I closed my eyes for a moment to control my emotions and push away all the thoughts that were bouncing around my head. "We don't have to try it again if you don't want to."

"I want to," she told me. Her hand covered mine. I couldn't tell if she was looking at me because I was pointedly avoiding eye contact, but I had a feeling she was doing the same.

"Maybe before we try again, we can talk about… I don't know, what's worked for you before? I don't want to do the same things I did last time just to have it be weird for you again." I hadn't put much thought into how sex with Pilar would be different than it was with Lake; of course, it would be different. They were different people, and I never should have assumed that what made Lake feel good would automatically make Pilar feel good.

"Okay," she agreed.

"I really am glad you told me." I finally looked up at her. "We'll figure this out."

I squeezed her hand, and she squeezed back. She coughed and blinked rapidly before she said, "speaking of things we'll figure out…"

"What?" I asked curiously.

"Are you going to stop avoiding my aunt?" The small smile on her face evolved to a full grin.

"Who just hands a baby to someone. I'm practically a stranger," I protested. Her aunt had barely said "hello" before she'd passed this tiny, wriggling baby to me yesterday. I'd never held a child that small in my life and had been unprepared for it. Victor and Benji had already escaped… I mean left to go to Benji's house and Pilar couldn't hold her while she was standing, so I was stuck with a baby who was becoming increasingly disinterested in being held by me. By the time Pilar sat down on the couch and I could pass her the baby, Mila had been shrieking. In the interest of history not repeating itself, I'd gone out of my way to avoid Lera before the ceremony.

Pilar laughed. "The only way you won't be a stranger is if you spend time with her," Pilar reminded me. I wasn't sure if she was talking about the baby or her aunt until she kept talking. "It's not like you're going to break her, and I feel like Tia Lera will find every chance to pass you Mila now that she knows you're scared of her."

"I'm not scared of her." It was true; I was scared of all the things that could go wrong while holding a baby but not of the baby herself.

Pilar snorted. "Sure."

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Isabel's POV

"I take it he said yes," I said when I heard footsteps behind me. Armando and I had been standing at the edge of the crowd and had been making small talk with everyone that came to see us. I forgot how exhausting this part was. I loved that we had so many people to celebrate with today, but I didn't love repeating the same conversation over and over and over again.

It was what made Lera's presence so welcoming. With her, it wasn't just small talk. She passed me a small plate with some bread on it. Bless her.

"Actually, he just said 'thank you'. Always the polite one." My sister put her hand on my shoulder. "It's weird to think he's grown enough to be a godfather, right?"

"Weirder even to see him with a baby and have it look… not weird." I couldn't take my eyes off of him and Benji. If I hadn't known he was seventeen and in high school… it would have been easy to believe that this was his family. It was almost unnerving how natural it all looked. I reminded myself that we'd talked about this, and we knew their plan. Kids didn't factor into their plan for a long time, but if I could almost forget that, I worried Victor could too. Babies had that effect on people.

Lera laughed. "I think you still have time before you have to worry about that."

"I hope so. 99% of the time, he is the most responsible kid, but when it comes to Benji…" I trailed off.

"He's in love. It leads him to… questionable decisions." I tore my eyes away from Victor to raise my eyebrows at her. She was the only family that knew about what happened in March. When I'd found out he was in Vegas, I'd reached out to her just in case something happened. She would've been able to get there before me. "That doesn't mean he's going to run off and get married when he's seventeen," she reminded me. I knew that, but I didn't think I'd ever be able to shake the fear that they'd speed up their process if things got hard. "Oh, come on. Don't you remember what it was like to be seventeen and in love?"

"Of course. I also remember all the trouble I got in. And all the trouble you got in, miss."

"Miss," she scoffed. "Okay, mom." I winced. "Sorry."

"I wish I was a little less like her sometimes," I said softly. "You're all dad, but I got the worst parts of mom."

"No." She squeezed my shoulders. "Maybe you thought that, but mom never would have done what you did for Victor."

Lera didn't understand, and I didn't try to explain it. Sometimes, I could still hear Victor telling Lake, I can't change that, for the rest of my life, she will always be part of the reason that things got so hard for me. Like Victor said, nothing could change that. I loved him more than I could put into words and, like him, I would have to carry the burden of what I did for the rest of my life. Like him, I had to choose to move past it. I didn't think I ever would. I didn't know any parent that would easily forgive themselves for rejecting such an important part of their child.

"She's right, you know," Armando said softly. He kissed my cheek. "You are not your mother. Trust me."

When I looked back, Victor and Benji were standing nearly a foot apart. I couldn't tell if they were shouting or just angry about something. Before I could find out, Carlos walked toward them, and Benji stalked away.

Lera's back was to them, so it seemed that she had missed the whole altercation. I tried not to let worry gnaw at my chest, but it felt impossible to fend it off. It didn't help that I lost sight of Victor a few moments later.

If Lera noticed my agitation, she didn't say anything. I kept a smile on my face as so many of our relatives came up to congratulate me and Armando.

Victor literally stepped to the front of the line. "I know you said I need to hold her until she wakes up, but I need to do something."

Lera looked startled but accepted Mila from Victor. She stirred for a moment before she slipped back into her deep sleep. Lera let out a sigh. "Are you oh – and he's gone. What was that about?"

"I wish I knew," I muttered.

"Then ask someone who does." I raised my eyebrows at her. "Adrian and his little friend… oh, what's his name?"

"Jeffrey?"

"Yeah. They've been hovering by Victor all day."

I felt a little guilty that I hadn't noticed. It made sense. I thought Jeffrey kind of looked at Victor like a big brother too. When Adrian had broached the topic of Jeffrey joining us, I hadn't been sure, but Victor had been the one to pick that battle. He'd pointed out that Adrian wasn't close with any of the cousins, and it would be good for him to have someone to hang out with today.

"Can you go grab him?"

I didn't hear Lera walk away, but she returned with Adrian just a moment later. "Hey, mijo," I told him. I brushed his hair back before I hugged him.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Benji's POV

There was something about Victor right now that kind of made me feel like my head was made of clouds. I didn't know if it was the baby, how cute he looked right now, the gentle expression on his face, or the fact that he rested his head on my shoulder. Maybe it was a combination of that. "Can I ask you a question?"

"What's up?" I asked him. I let my arm fall from his back as he lifted his head. With his free hand, he clasped mine. I felt antsy while I waited for him to gather his thoughts.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Why?"

His eyes fluttered closed. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't upset about Matt."

I wanted to tell him I was fine, but if he brought it up, he already knew it wasn't. "I don't know why it gets to me. I mean, it shouldn't. I guess, he was this whole big part of your life. I know you said that nothing happened between you, and I believe you; it shouldn't matter even if you had feelings for him." I ran my fingers through my hair. I couldn't explain it.

"But it does matter?" he guessed.

"It shouldn't," I repeated.

His grip on my hand tightened. "I really don't give a shit if it shouldn't," he said bluntly.

He looked so disgruntled that I couldn't help the chuckle that slipped out. "I'm sorry. I'm a mess." I looked around, wondering how many people were hiding their scorn and disapproval behind their smiles. I thought I'd been ready for this, but it didn't prepare me for the reality. I met a ton of Victor's family yesterday – he had some staying over and others that just showed up (without clearing it with them first which was apparently totally normal). We'd been met with the same reaction several times. Some of his family was really great about it, especially his cousins. He only had one cousin, about two years younger than him, who'd acted like Victor being gay was on par with murder. I'd met two of his dad's brothers, one of whom said, "I've been dying to meet you since Mando told us about you" and hit me so hard on my arm, I was reasonably confident it was going to leave a bruise. I hadn't been sure if it had been intentional, but Victor swore that his Uncle Monty just had no concept of how strong he was. I started to believe him when I watched Monty with Adrian.

I tried to remind myself that Victor had more family that supported him than that didn't, but the shock and silence that greeted us from many of his relatives somehow felt so much louder than that acceptance. Sometimes laughter followed that as if the idea that Victor was gay was so absolutely absurd, sometimes we were subjected to more blank stares, and sometimes we got reluctant acceptance simply because Victor's mother had hovered behind us looking formidable with her ladle.

Victor had eventually suggested that we escape to my house, and he didn't have to try to convince me. I'd been ready to agree before I even knew it was on the table. Once we got to my house, we didn't leave until we went to talk to his dad this morning. Victor had told me that my family was big, but we didn't hold a candle to his.

Despite how many people I'd met yesterday, there were even more that Victor kept pointing out to me. I wasn't sure if he actually had this many cousins or if that's what he introduced them as because he sometimes couldn't explain how they were related. "I think I'm just on edge today."

"I know." I saw guilt descend upon him. "But remember, your parents are gone this weekend. We can go back to your empty house, and I'll make you forget all about today."

"I'm gonna hold you to that." I hadn't realized how close we'd been leaning toward each other until he brought his hand to my cheek and let his eyes flutter closed. That's how we were standing when a woman I didn't recognize approached us.

"Do you have to do that in public?" I didn't understand her words at first because she had such a huge smile on her face and looked like she was ready to toss her head back and laugh. It was an unnerving when paired with her angry tone, and Victor withdrew from me quickly.

"Tia Rita," he said. "I didn't see you there."

"I noticed." She still had that smile on her face. I wondered if that was the normal for her. It was creepy.

"Tia, this is Benji. He's my –"

"I know who he is," she interrupted.

"Oh."

Victor didn't say anything else and when his aunt spoke again, I had a feeling it was because he was trying to avoid further conversation with her. "When your papi told me you were…" her lip curled just slightly. "I thought he'd come to his senses before today."

I couldn't see Victor's face, but his free hand bunched into a fist. "Maybe he's not the one that needs to come to his senses."

I held my breath. I knew that was a risky thing for Victor to say, and I was a little surprised that he chanced it. His aunt's smile never faltered. "Is it really worth it?" she asked. "To cause fights between your parents and the family they grew up with? To force your parents to distance themselves from the people they love? Is that what you want?" Victor didn't answer her. "You were always such a good kid. What happened to you?" Nothing but silence greeted her question. She tsked. "Let me tell you, if you were my kid, I would never have let you act like this."

"That's a shame for your children." I knew the moment the words were out that it that it was the wrong thing to say.

"Benji," Victor hissed. He spun to face me. "Walk away."

"You're joking." I knew he wasn't going to be happy with me. I'd blatantly ignored his whole "let me handle it" plan, but I hadn't expected him to tell me to leave like I was the only one that had done something wrong.

"Walk away," he repeated.

"No need. I think I've made my point." His aunt's smile turned a little smug before she left us.

"I really wish you would've stayed quiet."

"Oh, it's my fault?"

"I didn't say that, but you didn't make it better. What did you think was going to happen if you said that?"

Part of me knew I was in the wrong, but I was so angry. Today had been such an overwhelming day and then to see him shut down instead of defending himself… it was more than I could take. So was this. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. When his cousin, Chris if I remembered correctly, came over, I took the chance to escape. I fled up the stairs and started pacing up and down the hallway. I took deep breaths and tried to calm myself down.

After several minutes passed without success, I made up my mind to go downstairs to pry Victor away from his cousin because I was realizing that I wasn't going to be able to calm down until we talked about this. Lucy reached the top of the stairs at the same time that I did. "I was just coming to find you." Lucy's eyes seemed to rake over me. "What's wrong?" I shook my head a second before she pulled me into a hug. "It's okay."

I didn't realize I was shaking into I stilled in her hold. I pulled back after a moment. "Sorry."

"What happened?"

I quickly filled her in on what had just happened. "Shit." She crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall.

"Yeah."

"That really sucks, but it's not like he doesn't know you're stressed right now. I'm sure the two of you will talk this out and everything will be fine."

I wasn't sure if it would be. I really wasn't. Now that my anger was starting to fade, all I had room to feel was shame. "Do you want to get out of here?" she asked. "I can pretend to be sick. You shouldn't have to be around this."

"Neither should Victor. I made everything worse."

"No, you didn't." I turned to face him; before I could say anything, he hugged me tightly.

I didn't know how long he held me for, but I think both of us were reluctant to let go. It was Lucy's uncomfortable, "did you forget I'm here?" that broke us apart.

"Sorry," Victor said sheepishly. He tugged my hand and pulled me toward Mia's bedroom. He held the door open and looked at Lucy expectantly. "You coming?"

"Oh." She looked surprised but followed him in anyway.

He shut the door behind him and stood in front of it. "We're not leaving until you tell me what's going on." He crossed his arms.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "You saw what's going on."

He shook his head. "No, I really don't think I did. You said you're on edge, and I get that, but…" He took a deep breath. "Was it this morning? Do you regret that you took me?"

I stared at him. Of all the conclusions I thought he was going to jump to, that was the last one. "Were you worried about that?" He glared at the floor. It inexplicably made me laugh. "I promise that I do not regret bringing you. I liked having you there…" I'd convinced myself it would be weird, but it had been kind of amazing. I had a feeling that it was because the new group was entirely high schoolers and college students, but almost everyone brought someone with them.

"Then… what's going on? And don't tell me it's just my family because you've been in a funk for a while. I shouldn't have let it go this long, but I thought… maybe it was just because we'd been apart for so long, and I got home just for us to be so busy with work and getting stuff done for today."

"Vic…"

"No, I know. That was pretty… what's the word? Egotistical, I guess. I should've just asked you about it."

"Why didn't you?" Lucy asked. "Benji's been bragging about how solid the two of you are for months."

"We are solid." I thought I detected the slightest hint of defensiveness in his voice. "It's just… this summer was so hard." He moved from his position by the door. "It was worth it, I guess, because you got to figure out your stuff with music, and I got to play basketball, but it also sucked."

"I know what you mean," I told him. I sat down at the edge of Mia's bed. I looked toward Lucy. "Victor's right. I've been in a funk. I have been since I got back."

Lucy pushed the chair by the desk over to the bed while Victor sat down next to me. Victor held one of my hands, and Lucy held the other. It struck me that I was with the only two people in the world that I trusted unconditionally. Victor squeezed my hand reassuringly. "I think what you've been picking up on is that… I am so scared for this to be our senior year. Every year, I think that… I'll finally have a drama free year. I can't remember the last normal year of school I had. My freshman year, I spent the whole year drunk and then right before sophomore year, I was in my accident. I came out and then I met you, Victor. Junior year… well, you were there. I keep making a mess of things, and I don't know how I'm going to screw up this year, but I'm scared it's going to happen."

"You can't punish yourself for something that didn't even happen yet," Lucy told me. "If you do, you're going to be more likely to make something happen."

She was right. I knew she was right. I was about to say so when I took in the weird look on Victor's face. "Vic?" I asked.

"I don't know what to say to that. You're gonna screw up this year. I'm gonna screw up this year. Lake and Lucy are gonna screw up this year. That's part of living. We're gonna fight and we're gonna make up. That doesn't mean you won't have a normal senior year… what does that even mean anyway? Does it mean we get to do all of our senior year stuff? Because we can room with each other on senior trip, and go to prom together, and I'm gonna somehow try to come up with the perfect promposal. There's no way you could possibly prepare for whatever we're gonna go through this year. We didn't think we were going to have the year we had last year, right?"

"No," I agreed. "I didn't see any of that coming."

"Exactly, but we got through it."

"I'm gonna run to the bathroom real quick." Lucy stood up. I was pretty sure it was her way of giving us some privacy.

"Mia's bathroom is over there." Victor pointed at a door that I'd assumed had led to a closet. He waited until the door shut to inch a little closer to me. "I'm serious about what I said before. Whatever happens, we're going to be okay. And if you want to go to school in LA next year, I'm not going to fight you on it. Just please, make sure you love it because I'm not worth you giving up a school you love."

I stared at him. "You are worth it." I could see he didn't believe me. "Did your coach get back to you yet?"

"I doubt it. It's Saturday."

"Check," I encouraged.

"I'll look later."

"No, check now. If she answered you, then at least you know what your next steps are."

Victor stood up. "What if she says that the only thing to do is tell Coach Trevor? He'll pull my scholarship and –"

"I'll be responsible for ruining your future."

"It's not on you," he said softly. "I've thought about that moment a hundred times. I've tried to figure out how we got there, how we thought that having sex in that stupid locker room was a good idea. What happened is on both of us. We were stupid and reckless, and we have to live with it for the rest of our lives. It's always going to follow us. You didn't ruin my future and neither did I. My future isn't ruined; it's complicated but not ruined."

"You're right. We will be just as happy at a school in Georgia or maybe some other school will offer you a scholarship. Maybe a school that won't see a video taken against our will as a violation of whatever stupid policy that was." I stood next to him. "If you want to wait, then wait, but I think it would make you feel better to know."

He nodded and pulled out his phone. He thrummed on the screen for a moment. "Oh my God. She answered me. I can't do it. Can you read it?"

I clicked the email and read through it. I found a smile spreading across my face. I'd said it before, and I was sure I'd say it again, but I loved Fitz. I'd loved her for the things she did to support Victor, but this pushed her up even higher. "What? What did she say?"

"UCLA already knows," I told him. "When the video spread around the program, the coaches made sure all of the scouts were aware. Your scholarship isn't going anywhere, Vic. You're going to UCLA."

His mouth was slightly open. "I'm…" He grabbed his phone back and read through it. "Oh my God."

"See, all that worrying for nothing."

Victor laughed before he pocketed his phone. He looked at me for a moment before he brought his lips to mine. His hand tangled in my hair while mine bunched at the bottom of his shirt. There was something gloriously intimate about our kisses when we knew it couldn't escalate past just kissing. It was kind of like going so slow and allowing ourselves to feel everything made me feel closer to him.

"Jesus." I jumped back from Victor.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Adrian's POV

"Shhh," Jeffrey hissed. It was harder than it looked because every time I tried not to laugh, the urge to laugh just got stronger, and it kept making Jeffrey laugh too.

We were trying very hard not to draw attention to ourselves. For the most part, I think we succeeded in being invisible, but we wouldn't be able to keep that up if we weren't quiet. Jeffrey had said the best part of a wedding was people watching, and I hadn't fully understood until today. He noticed everything. He noticed that my cousin Eddie kept pulling at his underwear like he had a wedgie and that another one of my cousins kept picking his nose. My Tia Rita kept slapping his hand then looked around like someone might've seen. We did, but I didn't think she noticed.

I hadn't realized how fun it would be to be here and just watch everyone. Someone put their hand on my shoulder, and I was so startled, I jumped. I relaxed when I saw it was Tia Lera. "You two look like you're up to no good," she teased.

"Us?" I asked innocently. I fluttered my eyelids.

"Yes, you. You might charm your other aunt with that, but I know better." She chuckled. "Your mom wants to see you."

"Are we in trouble?" I asked uncertainly.

"Did you do something you should be in trouble for?" Tia Lera eyed me.

"No." I really didn't think we did. Laughing about the ridiculous things we saw happening around us didn't feel too bad.

"You're not in trouble. She just wants to talk to you."

I glanced at Jeffrey. "I'll be right back." He looked nervous but nodded.

I followed her toward my mom. She immediately hugged me and kept me by her side. "You did so great before. That reading was beautiful," she told me.

I beamed. "Really? I practiced it with Victor, and he said the same thing, but I wasn't sure…" He'd told me after I sat down that I did a good job, but he definitely would have said that even if I screwed it up."

"It was perfect. You know that was one of the readings at our original wedding."

I nodded. "Victor told me that. He said that's why he wanted me to do it. Because he didn't trust anyone else with something that important."

My mom looked down at me with a small smile on her face. "He was right. Are you having fun?"

I nodded. "Jeffrey is too. He's hilarious."

"Great."

She looked at my dad who cleared his throat. "You don't know where your brother is, do you?"

"I think he went upstairs to talk to Benji," I told him. I looked at the ground. As fun as people watching had been, overhearing Victor and Benji hadn't been great.

He and my mom exchanged another look. "Do you know why?"

"Not really. I know Tia Rita greeted them and then all of a sudden, they were fighting," I told them. "But they weren't really fighting. They were kind of agreeing that something su – stunk."

"But they didn't say what?" my mom pressed.

"No. Or it was before we were close enough to hear."

My dad frowned. "Can you go find him? Tell him I talked to his aunt and that he needs to come down here?"

"And he'll need to eat. They should almost be ready for us," my mom reminded my dad.

"Yeah. I'll get him." I went up the stairs as quickly as possible. I was surprised when it wasn't just Victor and Benji, but Mia, Lake, and Lucy as well. I shouldn't have been surprised. Lake and Lucy were always with Victor and Benji.

I delivered my message before I found Jeffrey. "What did I miss?"

"Your aunt… uh, the one that's married to your dad's older brother thinks one of your cousins is pregnant because she turned down a drink," he told me. "I don't know who Florencia is."

"Really?" I asked.

"Should I know Florencia?" he asked uncertainly.

"No. I'm just surprised that she's the one that's pregnant."

"She could be wrong. I just heard her telling…" he looked around before he spotted my Tia Imelda. She wasn't really my aunt but that's always what my parents called her. I wasn't actually sure if we were related or if she was just a really old friend of my parents or grandparents. "Her that she thought she might be. Victor and Benji came back down too. They found your dad, but your aunt went to the bathroom or something, so I still don't know what she said to them. Also, your cousin's been begging for a puppy, and he might be getting one for his birthday."

"How long was I gone?" I asked incredulously.

He grinned at me, and I thought I detected a little bit of pride. Before he could say anything, my dad was announcing that dinner was being served. Jeffrey and I were sitting with Victor and all of his friends. I expected us to be the odd ones out, but Victor and Benji made an active effort to include us in the conversation of the table. I didn't think it was my imagination, but Benji and Victor seemed a little more… open around each other. Not that they'd been distant before, but it didn't look like they were holding back now.

A few minutes after we started eating, our dad came over. "Vic, could you come with me for a second?"

Benji rose with Victor. I took one look at Jeffrey before he announced, "I'm going to run to the bathroom."

"Me too," I said quickly before I went after him.

We didn't even need to get particularly close. Partially because my parents had their own table, so summoning Victor meant they weren't competing with anyone else and partially because none of them were trying to be quiet.

We got there in time to hear my mom say, "not okay. We can talk to her."

"It's not worth it," Victor insisted. "You're not going to change her mind, and you shouldn't be caught up with this today. This is supposed to be the second greatest day of your life."

"Fifth greatest," our mom corrected. "The first three greatest days of my life were bringing you and your siblings into this world. My job as your mother is to get caught up in this."

"Please, just drop it," Victor pleaded. "All it's going to do is cause more fighting."

Benji sighed. "She got in your head."

"Who did?" our dad asked.

"Your sister. She told Victor that he would be the reason you fought with her."

My dad looked furious. "Dad, don't," Victor said. "Yeah, Tia Rita wasn't great, but I don't care. We can handle it. She can't ruin today, and if she has a problem with me and Benji, then she can ruin her own time, not ours."

"I wish you'd tell us what she said." Our mom looked at Benji as if hoping that he'd crack. Neither of them did, and they returned to the table.

"Is your family like that with you?" I asked softly.

Jeffrey shook his head. "We don't see the family that had a problem with me," he admitted. "If we had a get-together like this, they wouldn't show up. I'm not sure I could do what your brother did and ignore it for my family if anyone said something to me." Jeffrey almost looked guilty.

My mind was still buzzing when we returned to our table.

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Mia's POV

I could practically feel Pilar looking at me, and I knew why. I'd agreed to talk to Andrew before dinner and as he was currently talking about our first day of school, it was pretty obvious I hadn't. It dawned on me that Andrew might be the only person at our table that didn't know other than Adrian and his friend who had told me his name three times (I felt like I could not ask a fourth time). I was sure Victor told Benji, Pilar would've told Felix, and Lake probably told Lucy.

"Mia," Pilar said, interrupting Andrew in the middle of his back-and-forth with Victor. I wasn't entirely sure what they were arguing about, but I had a feeling it had to do with basketball because everyone else at the table looked like they'd checked out. "Can you help me to the bathroom?"

She didn't need help and every single person at the table knew it. Despite that, I agreed. I followed her around the corner and was only a little surprised when she didn't even pretend that she needed to go to the bathroom. "What gives?" she demanded.

"It didn't come up."

"Didn't come up?" She rolled her eyes at me.

"I know. I'll tell him tomorrow. I know you said you'd want to know, but he's not like that. He won't enjoy tonight if I tell him." It was the honest truth. I didn't know if I would've told him if I hadn't talked to Lake, but I thought it was better to wait. "I told Lake if that helps. How'd your talk with Felix go?"

She shrugged. "It was fine. He didn't get mad."

I hadn't realized she'd been worried about that. I was about to tell her that he had no reason to be mad at her, but she suddenly lost her balance and winced as she steadied herself. "Watch out for that air," I teased.

She glared at me. "You try balancing on crutches."

I didn't bother pointing out that I'd had to do that before. "We should go back in so you can sit down."

"No. I want a minute."

It was that exact moment that I realized this excursion was as much for her to get a break from being surrounded by people as it had been for her to question me. "Okay. But you should sit." I helped her to the base of the stairs. "How's the walking going?"

I hadn't seen her much since she got her cast off. "I thought it would be going faster," she grumbled. "And so help me, if you tell me to be patient…"

"I'm guessing you're getting that a lot?" It shouldn't have been as funny as it was.

"You have no idea." She sighed. "I know that it was unrealistic to think that I'd be able to pick up exactly where I was before I got hurt, but this sucks."

For her, it probably felt like adding insult to injury. "The PT will help. You start next week, right?" I confirmed.

"Twice a week," Pilar confirmed. "I think I'm on the schedule Tuesdays and Fridays. Victor's the one that set it up."

"How are you getting there?" I asked curiously. If I was going to be here, I'd probably have volunteered to do it.

"Victor worked it all out. He and Benji are doing senior option. Benji's actually going to be going over to the elementary school to help out with art stuff, so Victor's going to sign me out early on my PT days and he'll drop Benji off before he takes me."

"That's nice of Victor."

"It was Benji's idea. He actually insisted."

"How did Victor swing senior option?" I wondered. It wasn't easy to get the senior option program. Some of the girls that I worked with at summer camp went to schools where it meant you just got to leave early and almost every senior did it if they had enough credits, but at Creekwood, we needed proof that we were doing something that would further our education. Most of the kids that did it left school to go right to work. Even before I knew I was leaving, I hadn't bothered to apply for it; it had been too much of a hassle.

"He's doing an internship with Benji's mom."

I snorted. "Right."

"I thought it was just an excuse to get out of school early too, but he's actually doing stuff. He already started. I guess she suggested it after Benji left, and his counselor was able to change his schedule. He's going to be helping her digitize and set up social media and market stuff."

I wondered why Victor hadn't mentioned it. Other than basketball, I didn't know anything about what he wanted to do with his future. I had so much hanging over my head the last several months; I didn't have time to think about much more than the immediate future. "That's probably good experience."

"It would be better if he knew what he wanted to do. He flip flops so much. Sometimes, he thinks he'd love to do something with social media. Then he thinks he'd like to do sports reporting but that's too much writing, so he's back to social media. Then he thinks he'd like to do something with outreach. Hence, this internship. I don't know exactly what Benji's mom does. Victor told me like ten times yesterday, but I still don't know. It definitely has something to do with planning programs around Atlanta."

"Huh." I was trying to imagine Victor being in charge of something like that, but I was having trouble picturing him working anywhere outside of Brasstown. "I never knew that."

Pilar shrugged. "I only know because our schedules came yesterday." I'd gotten an envelope that I was sure contained my schedule but hadn't been able to bring myself to open it. "When do you find out about school?"

"I have no idea," I admitted. "I know my dad filled out some enrollment paperwork, but we haven't talked about it outside of that. I don't know when the first day of school is or even when I'm officially moving."

"Do you think it's possible your dad's waiting for you to tell him when you want to go?" Pilar asked.

"I guess, but I kind of hope not. It was hard enough to figure this out." I honestly wasn't sure I'd be able to bring myself to say all the goodbyes I needed to say without a deadline.

Pilar decided to drop it, and we sat in a companionable silence until Felix came to find her. "Victor says, and I quote, 'if I have to deal with my family, so does Pilar.' For the record, I'm cool with you hiding out here."

Pilar snorted. "He saw through that, huh?"

"Yeah." Felix looked inexplicably sad for a second before he said, "I think I can buy you some time, but not much."

"Don't I at least get until the end of dinner?" Pilar complained.

"It's almost over. Apparently, they're not doing cake until after some dancing." Felix looked glum for a moment.

"I'll go back in and tell them you'll be in soon," I said as I climbed to my feet. I hadn't realized how long we'd been gone until I walked in and saw that almost everyone had finished eating.

People I assumed were Victor's cousins had taken over every open seat, so I stood behind Victor. I picked up on a little of what they were talking about, but I had trouble focusing once I realized they were talking about a trip they'd taken together when they were little, little kids.

I moved so I was behind Andrew and let my hands rest on his shoulders. He brought one of his hands up to cover mine and met my eye. "Hey."

I squeezed his shoulder before I said, "hey" back. "I was thinking that we should do something tomorrow."

"Oh?" he asked.

"Yeah. Maybe we could catch a movie, make dinner together, and…" I trailed off because I was pretty sure that sentence ended with me tearing out his heart when I told him I was moving to California.

His face lit up, so I knew he was mentally filling in the blank with a very different alternative. "That sounds great."

- . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . - . -

Victor's POV

Pilar and Felix took their time getting back to us. I loved our cousins, but they could be overwhelming when they were all together. Poor Benji was the subject of so many of their questions, specifically about how we'd happened. Some of my cousins were under the impression that Benji was the reason I was gay which was wrong on so many levels. It wasn't like they disliked him or anything, but it was obvious that they didn't know what to say about this (and apparently saying nothing just wasn't an option). Most of them had known about me before today, and it seemed they'd had time to build up the novelty of it.

Benji, for the most part, never gave any indication that he was upset, but his hand occasionally tightened in my grip, so I wondered if he wasn't as disaffected as he seemed.

The irony that Carlos, my Tia Rita's son, was easily the most accepting and least weird about it wasn't lost on me. He'd shaken Benji's hand when they'd met and had asked him a few questions about how we met but, beyond that, hadn't made a big deal about the fact I had a boyfriend.

When Carlos had inevitably filtered over to the revolving door that our table became as people finished eating, he managed to steer the conversation away from spontaneous small talk in between awkward silence to something that felt far safer and more comfortable. Still, I was relieved when Felix and Pilar came back. I was even more relieved when a few of our cousins went back to their table to free up some chairs so Pilar could sit down. "Is it time?" Pilar asked eagerly.

"It's time," I agreed. I shivered as it felt like every nerve in my body jolted. I stood up. Pilar clinked her glass with her knife, and it barely took any time before it caught on. Soon, the room was a medley of overlapping chimes. There were cheers as our parents kissed. Once they faded and left only quiet in their wake, I climbed to my feet.

"Hey, everyone," I said loudly. There was a moment of chair creaks as people shifted so they could see me. I tried to look at my phone as little as possible. I essentially had this speech memorized, courtesy of how many times I read it aloud to Benji to make sure it sounded okay. "Thank you for joining us today. In a traditional wedding, this is when the best man or maid of honor would speak. I am honored to be the one with the privilege of talking about my parents and the love that I have witnessed in them. I, for obvious reasons, was not around when my parents first met and were falling in love, so I spoke to aunts, uncles, cousins, and distant relatives that were. They all had the same thing to say – they knew when they saw our parents together that they were seeing something special. When we were kids, having two parents as in love as ours were was cringey and gross at times, but it was also amazing. I can remember several times that Pilar and I turned to each other and said 'ew' in unison in response to something our parents said or did. I have so many of those memories to choose from, but my favorite by far was when our mom told us she was pregnant with Adrian." I heard my mom groan, and my smile only grew.

"It was a totally normal day; after church, our parents suggested that we all hang out and make chocolate chip cookies together. They were gross and sweet as they fed each other small pieces of cookie dough; this a total double standard, by the way, because they would yell at us if we tried to have any. It was no different than the hundred other Sundays we spent together like that. We laughed together, were moderately traumatized by our parents. It was just a good time. When the cookies were done and our mom kept us away from them long enough that they could cool a bit, we all sat at the kitchen table to eat them. I will never forget that our mom asked us, 'don't you think you'd rather have two chocolate chip cookies instead of one?' because Pilar instantly said 'no'. She didn't try to explain herself and pushed away the second cookie my mom had given her. My dad stepped in then and explained that there was too much love between them, so they were expanding our family so there would be more of us to love. Then he told our mom she was the love of his life and he probably kissed her or something. I don't remember because Pilar and I were too busy pretending to be grossed out. Even then, we knew their relationship was special. What we didn't know was that it would create a standard for us as we started to form our own relationships, both those of friendship and those of romance. When we first moved to Atlanta, I asked my dad how he knew my mom was the one. He told me that he'd never felt as connected with anyone else as he felt with her. That connection has only grown since they first met. It grew with each new addition to our family, with each challenge they overcame together, and as they chose each other every day."

I hesitated. Technically, the next thing I wrote had been the ending of my speech, but suddenly what I'd said felt unsatisfactory because I was leaving out something really important. The words I'd left unwritten were risky, but I felt compelled to try to explain them. I put my phone down on the table. "My siblings and I are proof of the love my parents share, but I feel especially lucky." I coughed because I was suddenly aware of just how many people were staring at me. I took a deep breath before I continued. "It takes a really special couple to grow from the challenges we have faced as a family, but it is even more special when that couple allows others to learn from them. My own relationship –" I swear, the room got quieter – "is stronger because of them. I am prouder, happier, and more confident in who I am and who I love because of the example they have set for me. They're support, honesty, and openness has been a source of comfort and has challenged me not to…" I grappled for the word. "Has challenged me not to give up when things are hard because that is exactly when they are the most rewarding. Thank you, and I love you so much. I can't wait to see what the next twenty years bring you."

My mom was crying when she reached me to pull me into a hug. "That was beautiful, amore," she whispered. "Thank you."

She pulled back and looked at me intently before she shook her head. "What?" I wondered.

"Just trying to figure out how your papi and I got so lucky."

I rolled my eyes but felt the slightest burst of pride. My dad hugged me as well.

When he let me go, I took my seat and watched as he guided my mom to the space that had been cleared to serve as a dance floor. A song that I'd never heard of before began to play. I knew it was the same one they'd danced to twenty years ago. People stood up to watch them dance, and Benji and I made our way to the circle that had formed around them. When other couples joined them, I offered my hand to Benji.

"You sure?"

"I didn't bring you here to not dance with you," I pointed out. He accepted my hand, and I pulled him onto the dance floor. My hands gripped his waist while his were resting at the back of my neck, and we swayed in time with the music.

"That was unexpected," he told me. "Your speech, I mean."

I sighed. "I know that I've been kind of shitty today –"

"You haven't been shitty," he interrupted. "You were put in a shitty situation. Honestly, your aunt freaked because you touched my face, so I get it." He surprised me by laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing? Everything?" he said. "We've been talking about your family for months, and this is the first time I feel like I understand what you were saying. Your family is great but some of them…"

"Are a lot?" I guessed.

"They just have this way of acting like we're the wrong ones, you know. Especially your aunt." He frowned. "It's like you said. She seems so confident that she's right. It's hard not to doubt that."

"Yeah. It's her loss though. I mean, she's missing out on one of the literal greatest guys in existence." He studied me for a long time. "What's going through your head?"

"I'm just thinking about what I would do right now if your family wasn't here," he told me.

"Oh? And what would you do?" I felt like it sounded like an invitation. Maybe it was.

"I wouldn't be afraid to touch you."

I brought my hand to one of his and moved it to my cheek.

"Like this?" I confirmed.

"No, like this." He moved his hand a little to hook it around my ear. "Then I'd kiss you. You don't need to," he added hastily. "I'm not trying to guilt you into it or anything."

I believed that. I also believed that I didn't feel guilted into it. He was boyfriend, and I loved him. I wanted to show him that… I needed to show him that.

"Screw it," I told him before I tilted his chin and pressed my lips to his. I honestly couldn't bring myself to care that anyone could see us. I'd convinced myself that I was doing the right thing by holding back from Benji; I'd used my parents as a convenient excuse because I genuinely hadn't wanted there to be drama at their vow renewal.

In the end, it had just been an excuse. I'd fallen into my old pattern of avoiding because it was easier than having to stand up for myself, but it wasn't fair to Benji. It also wasn't fair to me.

When I pulled back, I rested my forehead against his. It hadn't been a long kiss because we were surrounded and I didn't think I'd ever be fully comfortable with kissing in front of people, but I hoped he understood.

Time moved differently after that. I felt like I blinked and suddenly people were saying goodbye to us. Some of our family would be at mass tomorrow morning, but a lot of them had early flights or had a long drive ahead of them.

It seemed to happen slowly and all at once that the last of my family left. Almost immediately Jeffrey's dad had picked up Jeffrey and Adrian for their sleepover; then Pilar went upstairs with Mia, and my parents had gone home. When it was just the two of us, we sat side by side and I felt like I deflated. "We made it," I muttered.

He held my hand in his for several minutes, allowing the peaceful silence to wrap around us. As happened so often when I was with Benji, I felt so wonderfully and inexplicably full. Our future still scared the hell out of me, but more than I felt fear, I felt confident in Benji and me.

"Ready?" Benji asked, suppressing a yawn.

I studied him for a moment. When I said, "I'm ready," I meant it with every part of my being. I was ready for anything.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!